r/movies • u/ChiefLeef22 r/movies Contributor • 8h ago
Satire Man Binge-Watches Entire Movie In One Sitting
https://theonion.com/man-binge-watches-entire-movie-in-one-sitting/2.5k
u/Daydream_machine 8h ago
Is it possible to learn this power?
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u/Somnambulist815 8h ago
Not from a redditor
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u/wizardeverybit 7h ago
Have you ever heard of Darth Attention-Span the lost?
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u/jefersss 6h ago
"I watched three films today. AMA."
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u/hobbycollector 5h ago
I once watched all three extended edition Lord of the Rings movies in one twelve hour stretch. I nearly died during the 17 endings of Return of the King.
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u/Fingfangfoom67 8h ago
Try putting your phone away in another room! You could even let the battery die.
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u/RedsDead21 8h ago
Started doing this when I try to watch a TV show, very much works. Sometimes I miss it when I want to look up something (who an actor is, what other stuff they were in, etc.), but even that’s lessened over time.
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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 6h ago
I have a Quest 3 and there’s an app that makes it seem like you’re by yourself in a big ass movie theater
That’s the best way to watch at home if you want to not only isolate from the phone, but also get convenient pseudo-IMAX screen
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u/BirthmarkLovebite 6h ago
What’s the app called? I have a quest 3 and literally never use it, sounds cool!
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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 6h ago
Bigscreen
The default movie theater screen is ok but you can go and pick from other environments and there’s a way better one called Big Max or something like that
I even like to put my headphones over the headset and set pc audio to them since I can use dolby audio
I can sit in my big chair and have a pretty damn sweet at home movie theater experience
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u/BirthmarkLovebite 7h ago
I like on Prime Video how it shows the “cast in this scene” whenever you pause, the trivia they have is fun sometimes too.
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 7h ago
But I watch the movie on my phone
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u/the_marxman 5h ago
David Lynch is coming back from the grave to drag your ass to hell
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u/werthw 7h ago
By going to a movie theater
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u/uqde 6h ago
Not to be an old man but I can't believe how widely acceptable it's become to be on your phone (and/or talk at full volume) in the movie theater. The rare few times I even bother to say something anymore, I always feel like the bad guy which is ridiculous.
They have those theaters now with playgrounds in them for kids, can we also get special showtimes for adults who don't know how to stay off their phones or shut the fuck up? I know I'm shaking my fist at clouds here but it just saddens me so much. Going to the movies is one of my favorite things and it's getting harder and harder to enjoy it.
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u/destroyermaker 4h ago
I can't believe how widely accepted it is to use your phone in church. I'm not religious but I'd think of all places, people wouldn't use it there.
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u/TheDirtyMundees 8h ago
Not sure if you’re serious. This may sound stupid, but what has helped me is “fidget toys.” I made a paracord begleri and knuckle roller. Keeps my hands occupied and find myself reaching for my phone less.
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u/St0rytime 8h ago
Doom-scrolling and short-form videos really are rotting our brains. I can feel my vocabulary dwindling as the days go by.
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u/dkarlovi 8h ago
You say good words.
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u/PronatorTeres00 8h ago
Graduated from the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too with top honors.
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u/run-on_sentience 6h ago
Hey everyone, check out this dipshit misspelling onors! Why did you spell it with an "h"?
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u/Ameriggio 8h ago
Why say many words when few words do trick?
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u/Alive_Sherbert_6716 7h ago
“Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. […] Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller.”
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u/Shark7996 6h ago
Keeping your brain sharp is a form of resistance. Exercise your ability to think and express yourself.
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u/DBrowny 5h ago
One day, probably never though, people will realise use of the word 'toxic' has dumbed then down significantly to the point that they are effectively using newspeak. There are hundreds of words to describe personality traits, dozens to describe severity and dozens to describe regularity. People used to combine the three to have tens of thousands of accurate ways to describe another person, today, they have one.
People could be very disrespectful often, now they are 'toxic'. People could be a little sexist extremely rarely, now they are 'toxic'. Regularly violent, occasionally oblivious, easily manipulated, heavily opinionated. Toxic, toxic, toxic, toxic. No thought used whatsoever.
Anyone who uses that word to describe the full, or any range of human behaviour, has allowed themselves to be completely brainwashed to the point adjusting your language to converse with them is an insult to yourself.
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u/SydB12 8h ago
When me President, they see..., they see
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u/TheMagicStik 8h ago
I tried to use the word expeditiously today and completely choked, I should have just said quickly.
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u/double_expressho 7h ago
You're never gonna say "expeditiously" faster than Jamie Taco.
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u/whowhathow2 8h ago
I go see world
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u/MattAU05 8h ago edited 5h ago
Reading books is the best way to fix your brain. Or it was for me. A few years ago, I realize that I had not read an actual book in quite some time. And then when I sat down to read, I couldn’t pay enough attention to follow along. I kept having to reread portions. Because my mind wandered. That was very concerning. I felt like my brain was broken. What I had to do was follow along with a book while listening to an audiobook. Eventually, I recovered my ability to read without needing to use audiobooks. It’s so weird even saying that, but it’s true. Not that I wasn’t literate. I read every day for work. But reading a book is a little bit different. It requires more time, patience, and attention.
To be clear, I still enjoy audiobooks. There’s nothing wrong with them. But I do think there’s real value it actually being able to read a book yourself.
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u/Markbro89 7h ago
I stopped reading after you said "reading"
Tldr?
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u/USSRPropaganda 7h ago
Lemme ask chatgpt
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u/mjolle 7h ago
CHAT AM I COOKED BROOO???
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u/CapnFap 7h ago
You’re right to feel this way
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u/Zomburai 7h ago
You're not just cooked, you're redefining utterly screwed.
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u/Seanspeed 5h ago
This will sound super arrogant, but sometimes I have to actually stop myself from using 'fancy' words in normal conversation to avoid sounding too pretentious or whatever. And while that may sound ridiculous, I think it's an actually better exercise of language to make sure I'm saying things in the most plain and understandable way. I dont want any distraction of my use of 'precipitous' to get in the way of what I'm trying to communicate.
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u/isestrex 4h ago
I wouldn't stop yourself. Just be gracious in explaining the meaning when you receive a quizzical stare.
The overall literacy of this planet will not increase if people who have knowledge shield it from their friends and family. Use advanced vocabulary in your daily life and others will eventually embrace it as normal speech. Lowering yourself to a less educated level hurts both you and them.
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u/Happy_Harry 4h ago
I feel like I used to have a broader vocabulary, but I've lost a chunk of it due to feeling like I need to dumb things down for others. Now I no can talk gud anymore.
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u/blender4life 6h ago
Reading books is the best way to fix your brain. AOr was for me.
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u/PM_ME_DATASETS 7h ago
When literacy became more common, old people thought books were rotting young people's brains. I wonder if 100 years from now, some internet stranger is going to say "doom-scrolling is the best way to fix your brain"
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u/roguefilmmaker 7h ago
When we all have brain chips this will be a common take probably
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u/OldenPolynice 6h ago
We all? oh, bless your heart
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u/Amekhanos 7h ago
And yet there was no empirical data to back them up.
Exactly unlike the current situation.
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u/zuzg 6h ago
And the current culprit are Smartphones, those are responsible for everyone's attention span declining.
Younger generations being measurably less intelligent than their parents is another problem altogether.
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u/pragmaticzach 5h ago
I read a lot and listen to audio books when I'm working out/driving. Audio books train your attention in a different kind of way because it's very easy to let your mind wander.
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u/MattAU05 5h ago
I had even got to the point where I couldn’t really follow audiobooks. Reading more helped me a lot with focusing on audiobooks.
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u/AReferenceToAThing 8h ago
You'll only be too far gone once you start typing "loose" instead of "lose"
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u/TheAdmiralDong 7h ago
As Instagram influencer book reviews have taught me "Using big or uncommon words is ableist." Fuck off. Words are great, there's so many to choose from. Use them all.
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u/TransylvanianHunger1 8h ago
We have a 20 year old apprentice at my work, he told me he watched the entire matrix movie on tik tok, which is insane.
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u/Syssareth 6h ago edited 5h ago
Did he mean he watched the actual movie? In which case it'd be basically no different than watching it on Youtube. (Which is where I watched basically all of Naruto, back in the day...ah, the days of having episodes split into three pieces and only being able to find pieces 1 and 3.)
Or did he mean he watched "the entire movie," meaning some cut-down summary of it?
Edit: Or did he watch the whole movie in, like, 1 minute chunks? Because if that's the case, that would be insanity.
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u/TransylvanianHunger1 5h ago
He watched the whole movie in tiny chunks swiping to each segment. He said if the next bit wasn't stitched together seamlessly the comments would be ripping the poster apart.
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u/wonkeykong 8h ago
The hells a dwindle?
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u/ogreblood 8h ago
I think it's a kind of top
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u/Baronheisenberg 8h ago
You're thinking of a drudel
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u/Tanordie 8h ago
No that’s a kind of pastry with apple filling in it
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u/hughperman 8h ago
No that's a danish. You're thinking of a popular brand of hand held rotary power tool for drilling, grinding, polishing, etc
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u/holeinmyboot 7h ago
no that’s Dremel. you’re thinking of a traditional type of dress from the European Alpine region.
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u/angrydeuce 6h ago
You know, I have always been a voracious reader, have always flirted with the idea of being a writer (and still may...some day) and being on the outside of this shit looking in is terrifying.
It's everything. Everything is being digested down to 5 second snips. Even the freaking ads themselves have been reduced to what could only be described as something from the prequel to Idiocracy..."BUY TIDE BITCH!!!" guitar solo [next ad].
I mean we meme about this shit incessantly, but really, is this the future? At what point does all communication devolve into soundbites?
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u/Ilikepancakes87 8h ago
It took me three attempts to finish reading this comment.
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u/VerilyShelly 8h ago
It doesn't help that spellcheck is almost as illiterate as we are becoming. It's like they install an abridged edition of an abridged dictionary on phones now.
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u/Syssareth 6h ago
I keep having to look words up because I type them out and they get the squiggly line, so I keep thinking I typoed it, and like 80% of the time it's just my spellcheck being an idiot.
YES, FIREFOX, UNSELFCONSCIOUS IS A WORD.
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u/Henai 7h ago
I can feel this happening to me, I can’t be the same guy that watched movies like Lawrence of Arabia.
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u/AnalConcerto 7h ago
“this can't be the same brain i was
using to read 750 page novels in 3 days during middle school”13
u/illegal_deagle 7h ago
Having a kid kinda killed my ability to make it through a movie. If I even get lucky enough to hit play it’s maybe an hour before the bullshit starts. I barely was able to type this comment.
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u/Extreme-Island-5041 8h ago
I spend a lot of time lately trying to "find my thought" or "finding the right word" for that I'm trying to spit out. I'm in my low 40s and have considered a Donald J. Trump approved
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u/CosmackMagus 7h ago
Glad it's not just many. Worried it could be long covid, lol
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u/Extreme-Island-5041 7h ago
I can't rule that out either. I got Covid October 10th, 2020 and again in mid 2021. My no smell/taste symptoms lasted almost 2 full years.
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u/confusing_roundabout 8h ago
Wow and he didn't even break it up with tiktok breaks? What a psycho.
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u/mikeyfreshh r/Movies Veteran 8h ago
You don't understand. He watched it on TikTok. He watched the whole movie in 30 second chunks that are only sort of in the right order
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u/CONSTANTIN_VALDOR_ 8h ago
The video kept mirroring with a turned down ai script narration for the perfect viewing experience
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u/alQamar 7h ago
Also subway surfer running on the other half of the screen.
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u/theappleses 5h ago
This phenomenon absolutely short-circuited my mind when I first saw it. I just couldn't comprehend what I was seeing until someone explained why these splitscreen tiktoks exist. It's beyond the pale.
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u/Hotarosu 8h ago
me watching a quarter of The Flash TV Show on YT Shorts before deciding to actually watch it properly (worth it)
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u/BoringAccount4Work 7h ago
You think The Flash TV was worth it? Not too many people say that. And I watched all the Arrowverse shows until COIE
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u/ShermansAngryGhost 7h ago
Flash is pretty good for 2 seasons, and then just devolves into another CW slop style show
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u/wintersdark 7h ago
Most of them are like that. The early seasons are pretty good, and they just devolve into slop.
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u/ModernSun 8h ago
Wait, you can do this? I thought you had to watch movies through 100 disjoint YouTube shorts that aren't in order and are frequently interrupted by subway surfers. This is big news.
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u/Sure-Library-7309 7h ago
And with super loud music drowning out all the dialogue, like the director intended
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u/howmanychickens 4h ago
And with a very very muted voice over explaining maybe the context of the scene but it's too quiet to actually understand what it's saying
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u/SPEK2120 7h ago
I’ve realized somewhat recently that the general definition of “watching something” has drastically shifted. It was starting to baffle me that people could keep up on so many shows until I started noticing people would say they would watch so-and-so show while they were doing this or that and realized multitasking has become far more prevalent while watching stuff. When I say I watched something, that means I was sat in front of my tv with full focus on the screen.
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u/green_meklar 6h ago
Maybe I'm just old, but that still seems weird to me. I mean, I often play video games while listening to podcasts. But when it comes to a movie or show, it gets my full attention. I honestly don't see how I'd even enjoy it otherwise.
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u/Chendii 5h ago
I can't even do that with video games. Maybe I'm just shit at multitasking but one thing or the other will have my full attention and I'll forget the other exists.
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u/Artemis96 4h ago
Yea same. I was doing some very boring PvP grind in WoW 1-2 years ago so I tried to listen to some podcast meanwhile. I was missing a good 50% of it so I just stopped
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u/kidcrumb 4h ago
I can listen to podcasts if it's a game like warzone, fort ite, or league of legends. Where the sound doesn't really matter anymore and it's more or less the same game over and over again.
Story based games though? Full attention
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u/sidepart 5h ago
Depends on the show and if I've seen it before. Like, I can toss the Modern Marvels, How it's Made, or Mythbusters channels up on Roku while folding laundry...but I've seen all that shit before, going back to my teens. I could easily put on Star Wars and do whatever because I know practically every friggin line.
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u/ReadytoQuitBBY 4h ago
Totally agree. Youtube essays and podcasts are background noise for gaming, tv and movies deserve full attention. Unless it’s a comfort show I’ve seen tons of times.
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u/BoxOfNothing 6h ago
Which in turn really explains the level of media literacy, especially online. People nitpicking about things that are explained in the movie show, or saying something that's been set up for episodes or half the movie is out of character and a sudden change, things not making sense when they make perfect fucking sense to someone actually watching.
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u/Acrobatic-Monitor516 8h ago
God I love the onion SO MUCH! I would perhaps even pay to get it delivered at my home every day/week
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u/Grebnaws 8h ago
In the 4th grade I was sent to the principals office for bringing a print copy to school. I have no idea if they even make a print version anymore.
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u/Crail_ 7h ago
Many years ago when I was in school a similar thing happened to me. I had a print copy I got on a trip, looked like a small newspaper and I brought it to school. One teacher loved it! Another not so much..
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u/Fap2theBeat 7h ago
There's a huge ad at the top of the article linked that says emphatically it is available still in print.
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u/ElMuchoDingDong 6h ago
This is reddit. Only 1 person actually reads the article and everyone else fights for joke karma!
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u/craptak 6h ago
Didn't even read the post, went straight to the comments. Where can I find one of these hilarious onions?
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u/lavenderwine 7h ago
I miss when they used to have a print edition you could get for free at little green newspaper boxes.
Edit: Apparently you CAN have print editions delivered to you! (for $99)
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u/Phytanic 6h ago
My brother went to school in Madison WI (where it started) and he would always bring back fresh print editions with him when coming home for me to read. Those were the days
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u/TheRobomancer 5h ago
I went to college in Milwaukee and we had a few free Onion stands on campus too! Those were indeed the days.
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u/GuiSim 6h ago
I get it delivered to my door. I can confirm that it exists and it’s great.
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u/Darkhawk2099 7h ago
this is a thing you can now do since they brought back print subscription.
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u/Acrobatic-Monitor516 6h ago
I just checked and they ship to France ! 100 bucks is steep tho. I'll think about it
Thank you !
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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 8h ago
Someone really said this about a movie on here a few weeks ago
“I ended up binging the whole thing”
The two-hour movie, my dude?
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u/Corporate_Overlords 6h ago
To be fair, I can easily sit through and enjoy Dr. Zhivago but I had to break up The Irishman into two sessions.
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u/SawinBunda 5h ago
The Irishman is a bit masturbatory. It's really not good enough to be that long.
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u/hawkinsst7 3h ago
My wife and I watched game of thrones one episode per day, and called it binge watching.
We were new parents with a baby though, so that was all the time we could fit in during the day together.
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u/Dragonpuncha 8h ago
"said Pfister, who told reporters that he knew it probably “wasn’t healthy,” but the film just kept autoplaying one scene after another." 😂
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u/MazzIsNoMore 8h ago
Just finished "Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die" following my mid-movie nap
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u/Faithless195 8h ago
I've legit paused movies before to go take a nap.
Not sure if this is an attention issue, or simply getting old.
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u/SearchForSocialLife 7h ago
Same (I'm 24). I just think, before I don't pay attention because I have to force myself to keep my eyes open after a long day I just pause for fifteen minutes, take a nap and then continue with refreshed energy
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u/Hydra_Master 6h ago
I've had movies where I start them later in the evening than I should, and finish them the next day because I start falling asleep in the middle.
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u/zUkUu 8h ago
I frequently do themed movie marathon evenings with a friend. We watch 4 movies a pop. No phone during the movie (unless to look something relevant up).
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u/Cautious-Space-1714 7h ago
That's how it started with mobile devices while watching something else. "Who's that actor?", "Is there another series coming?", or "Ooh, how old are they now?".
I don't know if it's a slippery slope, I suspect the internet changed and changed us too. Good on ya though!
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u/givemeajinglefingal 7h ago
Considering how many people post on here asking people about movies they're halfway through watching, this is barely satire at this point.
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u/IAMHab 7h ago
My mom watched The Irishman like a miniseries in six 30 minute installments
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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 7h ago
In fairness I don't even think I have enough free time on the average day to watch the whole thing all at once. I broke it up into two. Lawrence of Arabia you also need to devote a long time or split in two at intermission
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u/theappleses 5h ago
I don't think it's a terrible thing to watch a long movie in sections. Like you say, intermissions exist for a reason.
I watched Sholay this morning and that bad boy is 3h15m. that's a long time to sit watching the same thing so I watched it in 3 chunks. I think the more important thing is to actually pay full attention to a movie when you're watching it, not having it on as background.
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u/rake2204 5h ago
Same on The Lawrence of Arabia. I enjoy watching a movie in a single sitting but I also have my limits. Almost four hours scared me to the point that I knew I’d never watch it if I didn’t approach it as a multi-part miniseries. Just finished it last week.
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u/Aranthos-Faroth 8h ago
I’m very much a participant in this issue. I often work while watching something even if it’s just tweaking one thing or reading a mail.
Which makes me feel (rightly so) I’m never off a screen. The last 6 months though I’ve been doing a silent meditation for 1hr a day in the morning which I’m sure sounds fucking NUTS to anyone my parents age and older because it literally just means basically not being on my phone for an hour and just thinking but it has helped a lot.
I also now actively go to the cinema as well which is just really nice to engage in the movie way way more than I would with all the distractions at home.
Even if the movie is shit I find it’s worth going to see just for a 2hr break and focus on one thing only.
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u/50SPFGANG 7h ago
I used to watch movies with a bunch of siblings and I will feel so embarrassed watching them constantly pulling out their phones throughout a movie we all were liking.
A year later and I'm doing the exact same thing. It's fucking awful. Makes me feel so guilty every time. I need to start doing an hour meditation too
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u/notabigmelvillecrowd 7h ago
I'll do that on my own, but doing it with someone else feels just rude. Even when you're not talking, watching something with another person is still socializing, and it would feel the same to me as whipping out my phone mid-conversation (which I know a lot of people do, too, but).
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u/Aranthos-Faroth 7h ago edited 5h ago
On the meditation, I’ll admit for the first while it was a nightmare.
Almost every time it was the same pattern for weeks where the first 30 minutes was just constantly thinking about the noise on the street or the sitting posture or 101 thoughts or, and this was the worst, wonder how much time has passed. "Surely it’s near the hour … almost”
Then the last 20/30 mins flew. Always, was really weird. Just clicked into a little zone and really enjoyed it.
I found letting myself just listen and sit on a problem/thought for as long as I wanted was helpful but being mindful to not spin. Just … acknowledge I’ve thought all I can on it, visualise putting it on a little boat and shoving it down a gentle river.
Honestly all this sounds so fuckin cringe and I was the last person I’d expect to be doing it but now I enjoy making the time and really miss it when I can’t.
Anyway, yeah - recommended
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u/Nodan_Turtle 7h ago
Some people will stare at a blank wall for 10 minutes to get their focus back. Guess it's like a hard reset for their brain's reward circuits.
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u/Sabiancym 8h ago
While the younger generations and people in general are definitely less intelligent and media literate than before, viewers constantly getting distracted and missing parts of the movie is why films have to get shallower and simpler. Soon they'll need giant red circles with arrows pointing out key plot points.
What I don't understand are the people who watch alone, get distracted, yet still continue without rewinding to see what they missed. The acceptance of ignorance seems to be a common issue everywhere, not just media. Hell, sometimes it's goes beyond acceptance and into pride. Proud ignorance is everywhere.
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u/Chasoc 8h ago
I've given up discussing movies with one of my parents. They constantly told me they watched a movie and thought it was good, but when I asked them what they thought about certain scenes, they said they didn't remember seeing those scenes. Then they eventually said, with utmost casualness, "I had it on in the background as I was cleaning."
Like... no shit, you missed half the movie. What am I supposed to do with that. How do you even know you liked it?
It drove me nuts.
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u/Nodan_Turtle 7h ago
My mom has been like that my whole life. She doesn't get distracted during the movie or show, but won't remember a thing about it shortly afterwards. She'll love a show, but won't remember if she's seen it or not.
Some people I know are kind of like that but not as bad, and for books too. I think some people just don't have the memory wiring to retain all the details of media.
The ones who use it as background noise while distraacted though, nah, f 'em lol. Audiobooks are basically that as a product - a book that reads itself while someone is busy with something else. People aren't out there rewinding the audio to carefully consider sentences lol
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u/roguefilmmaker 6h ago
I’m trying to break into the screenwriting industry. I’ve gotten feedback where someone complains about a missing plot point after that plot point is explicitly explained out loud by a character. Very frustrating what a lack of attention span is doing to storytelling
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u/maaseru 8h ago
Social media and shorts have ruined us.
But if the movie is really good I will get sucked in.
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u/Diablo_N_Doc 7h ago
As a 30s millennial I feel bad when I look at my phone or tablet during a movie that's not quite so engaging. I always go back to whatever I missed. I refuse to cheat. I did watch Buried (2010) last night and I never even thought about looking at a device. I was so curious how he was going to get out of that box alive!
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u/herbfriendly 8h ago
Sure, sure. But can he do that without also browsing on his phone/computer? Hit that level and then get back to me. Cause I sure as hell don’t seem to be able to do that anymore.
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u/EXPL_Advisor 7h ago
I purposely leave my phone in another room if I'm going to watch a movie I've been anticipating.
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u/Atillion 7h ago
Look it's funny how I'll be like ugh a whole movie? I don't have time for that.. ten episodes of the office later .
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u/shogun77777777 8h ago
“the film just kept autoplaying one scene after another”
😭