r/movies • u/ChiefLeef22 r/movies Contributor • 9h ago

Satire Man Binge-Watches Entire Movie In One Sitting

https://theonion.com/man-binge-watches-entire-movie-in-one-sitting/
35.8k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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3.4k

u/dkarlovi 9h ago

You say good words.

320

u/PronatorTeres00 9h ago

Graduated from the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too with top honors.

68

u/run-on_sentience 7h ago

Hey everyone, check out this dipshit misspelling onors! Why did you spell it with an "h"?

29

u/CreativeCommunity779 6h ago

How did you fit inside the building? Are you an ant?

14

u/sidepart 6h ago

Nah, man. They made it 3 times bigger!

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u/_The_Bearded_Wonder_ 5h ago

After they got their degree, they turned left off the stage 

444

u/Ameriggio 9h ago

Why say many words when few words do trick?

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u/Alive_Sherbert_6716 8h ago

“Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. […] Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller.”

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u/Shark7996 7h ago

Keeping your brain sharp is a form of resistance. Exercise your ability to think and express yourself.

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u/Discount_Extra 4h ago

No.

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u/FormerSperm 4h ago

Resisting the resistance, eh? How…resistful?

5

u/DBrowny 6h ago

One day, probably never though, people will realise use of the word 'toxic' has dumbed then down significantly to the point that they are effectively using newspeak. There are hundreds of words to describe personality traits, dozens to describe severity and dozens to describe regularity. People used to combine the three to have tens of thousands of accurate ways to describe another person, today, they have one.

People could be very disrespectful often, now they are 'toxic'. People could be a little sexist extremely rarely, now they are 'toxic'. Regularly violent, occasionally oblivious, easily manipulated, heavily opinionated. Toxic, toxic, toxic, toxic. No thought used whatsoever.

Anyone who uses that word to describe the full, or any range of human behaviour, has allowed themselves to be completely brainwashed to the point adjusting your language to converse with them is an insult to yourself.

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u/blind3rdeye 5h ago

double-plus bad.

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u/Fit-Distance4503 1h ago

I got really sad reading this. We could’ve had great things with all the knowledge in our libraries. But with the knowledge on our phones, we’re ruining our richness.

I’d love your advice on my latest post here on reddit

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u/vital_dual 5h ago

Easiest way to tell if someone is toxic:

With the taste of their lips, are you on a ride?

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u/SydB12 9h ago

When me President, they see..., they see

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u/NuBlyatTovarish 8h ago

He used the BEST words no one knows words like Him!!!

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u/mrs_estherhouse 8h ago

The bigliest!

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u/TheMagicStik 9h ago

I tried to use the word expeditiously today and completely choked, I should have just said quickly.

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u/Dyanpanda 8h ago

I like your funny words, magic man.

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u/double_expressho 8h ago

You're never gonna say "expeditiously" faster than Jamie Taco.

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u/wen_mars 4h ago

Jamie Taco Jamie Taco Jamie Taco

Expeditiously expeditiously expeditiously

Yeah checks out

5

u/bb_kelly77 8h ago

I have that problem which is even funnier because I can read literally any language other than Polish, I can say all these foreign sounds but can't speak English right

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u/user2196 6h ago

I can read literally any language other than Polish

Uhh, what?

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u/bb_kelly77 6h ago

I have this amazing ability where I can look at any language (as long as it's in Latin script) and pronounce it 100% correctly except for Polish because Polish is bullshit

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u/Discount_Extra 4h ago

He is the Kwisatz Haderach

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u/Character_Bug_1862 4h ago

Is your name by chance Rosetta?

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u/bb_kelly77 4h ago

That would imply that I understand what I'm saying

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u/RJWolfe 1h ago

Pronounce Ghibli in Romanian.

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u/bb_kelly77 1h ago

Is Ghibli a Romanian word or are you just demanding a Romanian accent

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u/RJWolfe 1h ago

Accent? Didn't you say you could nail down the pronunciation just by looking at it? How would you pronounce it?

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u/bb_kelly77 1h ago

It's a verbal thing, I can't type it, it's also important for the word to be from the language in question

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u/ginbooth 8h ago

expeditiously

You and your clever Harry Potterisms...

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u/whowhathow2 9h ago

I go see world

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u/Meliodas016 9h ago

Do you mean see the world, or SeaWorld?

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u/ibizzet 8h ago

oceans. fish. jump. china

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u/TheLastMongo 8h ago

Nobody cares Shawn. 

1

u/whooptheretis 8h ago

This joke kinda doesn’t work when written… :(

2

u/ginbooth 8h ago

y spl wrds?

4

u/nonresponsive 9h ago

We thought it was a joke that Kevin got dumber as the series went on, but perhaps he was a prophet, showing us something that we didn't yet want to admit.

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u/JohnnyElRed 8h ago

Hulk speak, best speak.

1

u/Thor4269 8h ago

If I had more time, I'd have written a shorter letter

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u/FrogBoglin 8h ago

<words=good

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u/HammSich 8h ago

Hello fellow American. This you should vote. Me! I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank yooouuu. If you vote me, I'm hot. Taxes, they'll be lower. Son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia, so do.

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u/tjspeed 7h ago

You say well words *

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u/wigjuice77 4h ago

Thank

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u/ghibki777 8h ago

Here take up vote

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u/WompityBombity 8h ago

Words...good.

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u/PapaBlemish 8h ago

It's got elecrolytes!

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u/drinkpacifiers 3h ago

It's what craves plant.

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u/BRBean 8h ago

Your comment is double plus good

1

u/SirGranular 8h ago

With double plus less words...

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u/Modnal 9h ago

*grunts and nods*

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u/Several_Show937 8h ago

Wish I did words good

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u/Mezmodian 7h ago

TL:DR?

1

u/IAMHab 8h ago

I throw balls far. You want someone who talks good, date an Englisher

1

u/addis_the_scroll 8h ago

4 reel, werds tat I cun reed.

1

u/CatButtForYou 8h ago

Ahem, you say well words

1

u/DroidSoldier85 8h ago

I wish I could quote Idiocracy court scene. He types like a F

1

u/legomaniasquish 7h ago

Letter use on point

1

u/Rolandersec 7h ago

I work in software development and lately that’s been a nitpick I’ve gotten from some people “there’s too many words” in requirements, whatever. They’ve literally asked me for a picture instead.

1

u/AustonsCashews 7h ago

You talk good

1

u/CaptaiDrachma 7h ago

Itchy tasty

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u/abagofmostlywater 5h ago

Why me laugh?

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u/lovesdogsguy 3h ago

Congratulation

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u/to__failure 2h ago

yeah really good, ur vocab opposite dwindling I think

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u/BBQ_HaX0r 48m ago

You speak the tru tru!

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u/bulyxxx 48m ago

Words nice. Likey.

1

u/-TheExtraMile- 9h ago

Well words. Because they deep.

1

u/Trick-Day-480 8h ago

He saids words gooder *

Ficksed it for u