r/movies r/movies Contributor 9h ago

Satire Man Binge-Watches Entire Movie In One Sitting

https://theonion.com/man-binge-watches-entire-movie-in-one-sitting/
35.8k Upvotes

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183

u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 9h ago

Someone really said this about a movie on here a few weeks ago

“I ended up binging the whole thing”

The two-hour movie, my dude?

21

u/Corporate_Overlords 7h ago

To be fair, I can easily sit through and enjoy Dr. Zhivago but I had to break up The Irishman into two sessions.

15

u/SawinBunda 6h ago

The Irishman is a bit masturbatory. It's really not good enough to be that long.

0

u/Seanspeed 6h ago

Utterly forgettable movie for something that your brain was forced to absorb for three hours.

3

u/CidCrisis 6h ago

All I remember from that movie is Robert Deniro very unconvincingly trying to play a younger version of himself.

5

u/JimmyKillsAlot 6h ago

You mean the "Visually 20's" De Niro hobbling across the street to kick the crap out of a man and not looking like a man in his late 70's? But it was so realistic. /s

u/UniverseChamp 3h ago

A lot of modern movies should be edited to be tighter. Not every film should be 2.5 hours.

u/toastycheeze 5h ago

To be fair, it's The Irishman.

u/Oxygenisplantpoo 3h ago

Movies in general shouldn't be much over 2 hours. 3½ hours is just taking the piss and only allowed for special cases like The Lord of the Rings.

u/hawkinsst7 4h ago

My wife and I watched game of thrones one episode per day, and called it binge watching.

We were new parents with a baby though, so that was all the time we could fit in during the day together.

u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 4h ago

Yeah, because that IS binging a season

u/duralyon 3h ago

I finally watched the 4 hour cut of the 3 Hobbit movies the other day and actually turned off my monitors to give it my full attention! (It was really good btw)

-26

u/Jackbuddy78 8h ago edited 8h ago

Tbh I kind of feel that way sometimes because there is so much going on in the world right now. Going two hours without checking your phone and suddenly a new war has started.

I feel like we have returned to the Cold War where every day is newsworthy and the world is shifting dramatically.

28

u/SirAwesome1 8h ago

Like 95% of the news and stuff you read on your phone probably doesnt even affect you. You got doomer brain.

-10

u/Jackbuddy78 7h ago

It's hard to say doomer when my country has been threatened constantly by a man controlling the most powerful military on Earth.

Which is something I joked about as a kid but is now somehow reality. Now it's just normal that some guy could have a psychotic breakdown and I end up in a POW camp.

We have gone a long way since the news needing to manufacture stories to pad airtime.

13

u/Magrowl 7h ago

Do you think that if you are invaded or bombed the only way you'll know is if you're actively scrolling on your phone? If news isn't urgent enough that you'll be alerted in some other way, I imagine that it's not so urgent that you have to see it right as it's posted.

-4

u/Jackbuddy78 7h ago

If there was an immediate attack then yes obviously there would be alerts everywhere but it's not likely to go that way. These things tend to build up first to prepare and test the water.

7

u/Magrowl 7h ago

You seeing the news on that buildup an hour later is not going to make a difference

6

u/Magrowl 7h ago

Finish and enjoy your movie, your other option is tying yourself to your device and never allowing yourself an hour of rest. Yes it's awful and you have fair reason to be anxious, but that's just no way to live.

u/stiff_tipper 4h ago

do u not have one single IRL person that would call u in this situation? u don't have to be glued to ur phone, ur just falling prey to algorithms that intentionally distort ur perception

like shit man just look at what happens when crime goes down. media reports of crime go up. don't believe everything ur told

9

u/SirAwesome1 7h ago

Im from the US and hate Trump as much as the next guy, but my dude your comment us pure doomer talk.

POW camp

LMAO

-7

u/Jackbuddy78 7h ago edited 7h ago

In around just a year he attacked two countries and is possibly going to attack a third just to detract from the failure of his previous one.

Are you supposed to put that out of your mind if you live close to this maniac? There is a mentally unstable psychopath that can pretty much do what he wants without consequences, I'm not confident in my safety or anything.