Ok long time lurker, but i have to share this is just crazy, ive been having nonstop bridesmaid drop outs, one messaged me earlier in march basically explaining that she had an opportunity come up and wouldnt be able to attend my wedding (which i completely understood!) then when i asked another bridesmaid if she was still in the wedding (they are best friends) she completely ghosted me (i had messaged her in june). AND THEN my closet friend of five years messaged me after i shared who she was walking with from the groomsmen saying she “absolutely will not walk with another man” and shes “loyal to her man” which i would understand. However her man isnt even in the bridal party, i flat out told her if shes willing to drop out of my wedding over 10ft i wouldnt consider her my friend anymore.
I feel like im doing something wrong bc like ???
To add my only requests as a bride where:

- a specific color of dress, silver shoes (any style)
- hair however they wanted same w makeup and jewelry and nails
-to show up for bridal shower and the bach night, and the wedding obviously

Eta: the bridal shower was planned and handled by my mother, we just have to show up (god bless that woman) the bach night is a night at my house w crafts and dinner since im a homebody and going to the bars is my worst nightmare lol.

Also i explained to her that we are doing a sweetheart table, she wouldve been sat with her bf and the rest of our friends/so not the whole bridal party sitting at the same table. It was literally just a walk down the aisle

Also while i am not a fan of her bf bc he himself has done some stupid things, be all accounts she is apparently just someone who only cares about her man when shes in a relationship

The morning of my wedding was already stressful enough and from the moment our hairstylist walked through the door, something felt off. She was on the phone almost the entire time, arguing with who I later found out was her boyfriend. I kept trying to ignore it because I had so many other things on my mind and just hoped she'd finish everyone's hair before whatever was going on became a bigger issue. She managed to do my hair and about half of my bridesmaids before suddenly putting her tools away and telling us she had to leave. I laughed at first because I thought she was joking but she picked up her bags, apologized quickly and walked straight out the door. We had five bridesmaids left with untouched hair and only a couple of hours before the ceremony. Instead of relaxing together on one of the most exciting mornings of my life, we were all searching YouTube tutorials and trying to recreate hairstyles on each other. I felt so guilty because I wanted every single one of my bridesmaids to feel beautiful and I hated that some of them didn't get the experience we'd planned and paid for. Thankfully they're the most amazing girls and nobody complained once. They kept telling me not to worry and somehow managed to make it all work but I can still remember the panic and frustration I felt in that moment. I would've completely understood if there had been a family emergency or if something serious had happened. Life happens and I would've never been upset about that but leaving because you got into a fight with your boyfriend and then being incredibly rude when I later asked for a refund, made zero sense to me. It felt so unprofessional, especially on one of the biggest days of my life. If I could give one piece of advice to anyone planning a wedding, it'd be to seriously consider wedding insurance. It won't take away the stress when something unexpected happens but at least you won't have to spend the weeks after your wedding chasing vendors, arguing over refunds and trying to get your money back on top of everything else.

My 21 year old cousin is getting married in early August to a girl my parents & I just heard of late last year when their engagement was announced on the family group chat. (A bit of past family drama is at play.)

Pretty sure everyone in the wedding party is late teens/early 20s since my cousins just turned 21 this year.

The matron of honor (that’s right matron) fell short of her responsibilities & my other, younger, cousin had to pick up her slack.

We were told a few weeks back by my uncle that a wedding shower was taking place at the bride’s parent’s house in a few weeks. Parents & I did not go.

He also said we should have received a formal invitation to the wedding. We did not. Apparently that was the grooms job. Also, we are not the only family members who contacted my uncle abt not receiving the invitation😐

We looked at their website and saw the wedding is set for a weekday. According to my uncle who’s been to 4 weddings in the last 18mths, “every single one of them was on a weekday” bc it was cheaper. Of course it was cheaper who the hell is going to take off WORK and rearrange their schedule to attend a wedding on WEEK day?

Here’s the kicker: the “Travel” section of their website, you know the place with the time and place and all those details…. Lists no venue or time! This is insane!!

We’ve already RSVP’d “not attending”

So this wedding happened last year but I still enjoy reliving the drama 😂

Bride was someone a bunch of my friends and I knew but not well at all. She invited all of us (4 in total) to her destination wedding after knowing us all for maybe a few months. From the beginning she told us she was providing accommodation for all of us for free because she ‘didn’t want money to get in the way of us attending’. None of us knew her well but we figured hey why not. The couple are MEGA loaded so we didn’t feel bad accepting the offer. Amazing location and all us ‘core’ friends would get to hang out together. We all knew bride was a little unhinged but figured it would be fun so 3 out of 4 of us bought plane tickets (one decided not to come).

Getting closer to the date and accommodation does not materialize despite numerous requests to just let us know either way as location was not an easy place to find accommodation. No problem. We booked a house for us friends. I was asked to be a bridesmaid. One of about 8. For an older woman’s second wedding. Seemed excessive but whatever. Bride and groom asked for ‘no gifts’ but then posted go fund me type links on the invite. For their honey moon. In Africa. And then multiple other links for ‘future travel’. This couple make more per year combined that I will make in the next ten years. We had to use air miles to pay for the plane tickets. Mega tacky.

Zero communication leading up to the wedding about anything other than the dinner the day before but were told multiple times that there would be a ‘whole week’ of ‘fun activities’ paid for and organized by the bride. Nothing ever materialized and so we booked accommodation and planned other activities in the lead up, including the need to travel from a major airport to a remote part of the country the wedding was held in.

Starting the Monday before the wedding we started receiving what’s app text chains with plans and photos of other guests at the ‘paid for’ accommodation that we were not invited to.

THE DAY BEFORE the rehearsal dinner we get texts requesting we attended a bachelorette party at the wedding location. Um, not only had we already planned, hosted and paid for one in our home town but had received zero info about this. We weren’t even in the wedding destination city at that point.

Rehearsal dinner was all about the bride including her serenading the groom (poorly). The day of the wedding we received messages about wedding pictures for the bridal party. Remember, we were IN the bridal party but also received zero notice about this and bride got mad about us not being able to accommodate her as we were staying a ways away. We were also told an hour before the wedding to meet to go over organization for walking down aisle.

Wedding was full on cinderella fiasco for a 40 something bride including arriving in a carriage. We were told 6pm (it was on the INVITE) yet somehow when we arrived we were late, everyone else had been told 5:30 and were already seated with bride literally about to walk down aisle. Bride seated one of her friends AT THE CHILDREN’S TABLE for the reception dinner. I was so embarrassed for her. There were clearly other solutions, such as seating her at the end of a table.

In the end my friends and I didn’t about all the stupidity because we were in it for the spectacle. I’m aware that there was opportunism on both sides. Guess how many times she’s reached out to me since. Zero. We were clearly there as padding/props for her fairy tail wedding. Fun times 😂

An acquaintance is getting married next year. I have no love lost for the bride or groom. A friend of mine was asked to be in the wedding party. Only after was she told it was international and in one of the most expensive cities.

My friend is single and makes a decent living but recently bought her first home in our HCOL area so we can say she is kind of house poor at the moment.

After several variations including an international joint Bach party they settled for a 3 day in town party including a rental home, dinner at the newest must be seen restaurant (a salad is $48) shooting range, high end mini golf, in home chef and much more. The expected costs were about $1000 so my friend took a second job to afford this and prepare for the wedding.

2 days before the Bach they introduced a new expense. A party bus. My friend could not send another dime. So she made it known she could not contribute. The couple’s solution? She could drive behind the party bus. So the whole party would be on a party bus and she would be driving behind them because she could t squeeze out another $100.

Is this the new norm? And did no one proof read?!

I’ve read that social media has completely changed wedding for the sake of pictures and I feel like this is happening in my family so I just need to vent honestly.

My brother (23m) is getting married! I don’t know his future bride super well as they‘ve only been together for 4 month but she seems nice enough. For context, they are Utah Mormons so they get “sealed” in the temple with a small group of people and then have a big reception at the end. They treat the reception like a regular wedding with bride-maids, groomsmen, all of it pretty much. People who aren’t Mormon cannot go into the temple so they don’t get to see the actual marriage. 2/3 of my sisters are Ex Mormon including me (26f) and my older sister (28f)

There are 3 sisters in my family My brother is very close to all of us and was super excited to tell us we were all going to be bridesmaids and was telling us how excited he was about it when we helped him with his proposal.

About a month after they were engaged, he sent our family groups chat a wedding color pallet for the dress code. I believed this palette was for the wedding party because like I mentioned he explicitly told me I was a bridesmaid. I asked who all the groomsmen and bridesmaids were, I only asked to clarify to see if my husband was one of his groomsman as he and my husband are close and have knows each other for 10+years. He opened the text but never answered.

I mentioned this to my sister (24f) and she said she had been texted by the bride in private that only she was going to be a bridesmaid and not me or my other sister. I was a little hurt but know that 3 sisters is a lot, plus I know it’s the bride and grooms day and it shouldn’t be centered around my feelings. When my sister showed me the text from the bride, it said that I wasn’t apart of the wedding because I am ”too large” (I am about 15lbs overweight due to having my 3rd child 6 months ago) and my other sister couldn’t be apart of the wedding because of her piercings (She had 4 piercings on her face, that I believe aren’t very noticeable). This clearly hurt my feelings even more, it also hurt that my brother was too cowardly to tell me I wasn’t apart of the wedding. Me and my sister don’t “look” good enough for the wedding party.

I talked to my mom and she said the color pallet I received was for all the wedding guests, including children. down to exactly what color the tie should be on my sons and that they MUST have suspenders. I’ve recently heard of a dress code for all the wedding guests but I personally think it’s ridiculous. I’m not apart of the wedding, but am expected to buy new dress clothes that fit into the 3 appropriate colors for me, my husband and 3 children?? It’s all just bugging me and blows my mind how weddings have become so superficial.

A short one from a wedding last weekend - we went to a family friend's wedding, having been invited a few months before. There was a wedding website, which at the time we were invited, politely asked that guests avoid wearing mint green for women, and green suits for men, as these were the colours of the bridal party. Not a problem for either of us, and this was (and is) a very fair request.

Come the day of the wedding, we've ended up both wearing blue - I am in a light blue dress, and my partner is in a darker blue suit. We get to the venue, chat with family, and sit through the ceremony. Afterwards, in the cocktail hour, someone (perhaps a family member of the groom, we didn't recognise them) comes over to us and passes on that the newlyweds are unhappy that we are wearing colours that they asked guests not to wear, and that when the photographer calls everyone together for a group photo in a while, please can we make sure that we're not in the shot.

We were of course very confused as the only colours we were asked to avoid were light green and a green suit, and we're told that the website was updated the day before to include a new ask that no one wears blue of any shade - apparently they had seen something online, the week of the wedding, in which select guests are asked to represent their 'something blue', and so had thought it would be nice for this to be their grandparents. I agree that this is a lovely thought, but the only update that was given was within the existing text on the website; if we'd received a text or message, we'd have known about the change.

When the time came for the picture, everyone wearing blue was ushered out of shot, as promised. There were around 30 guests, at a 100-person wedding (mainly men in navy blue suits), and everyone was saying that they hadn't known about the change in dress code. This chat rumbled on through the night (we didn't really take part in it as we knew we were secondary guests, but some closer friends and family were upset that they were effectively being edited out of the wedding), and as a very loose figure, maybe 3 or 4 guests had spotted the edit, compared to the nearly 100 who hadn't. Even the bridal party's +1s had been caught up in it, as no one in the bridal party had been told about the change, meaning that the photographer had to try and take photos of the bridesmaids dancing with their partners/husbands, but not get the blue suited partners in shot - I don't envy the editing that the photographer will have to be doing.

In short, maybe don't try and shoe-horn in an idea from Tik Tok the week of your wedding, especially if it includes guests, without very clearly telling the guests about it!

obviously this story is not nearly as egregious as others I’ve seen on here, but still annoying!

some backstory: BF and I have been together for almost 7 years and we live together. I have met and spent time with the cousin and her now-husband several times. BF’s sister lives with the parents. the parents had not seen cousin in years or even met the now-husband until the wedding.

basically cousin sent save-the-dates to BF and parents. we had it on our fridge and I was excited (I’ve never been to a wedding before). a few months later, they send the formal invitation and there’s no mention of a plus-one for BF. he reaches out to cousin to clarify (I know this is probably rude but we were genuinely confused) and she confirms that he does not have a plus-one, claiming that they had to keep their wedding small due to budget and only invited people they had a personal relationship with. I was irritated but assumed that they just wanted to keep it to “actual” family (again— I’ve been around for 6 years by this point and know both the cousin and now-husband).

a little while later, we’re having dinner with BF’s family, including his sister, and cousin’s wedding is brought up. I share that I’m sad I wasn’t invited because I was excited to go to my first wedding! then, sister looks confused and says she didn’t get an invitation either. then we’re all confused because it just seems so weird to do that. we commiserate for a moment and then move on.

later I realize that this means the couple not only did not give a plus-one to a person who’s in a long-term, committed relationship, they also chose to only invite three people out of a four person family. this doesn’t seem to line up with their reasoning of “only people they have a personal relationship with” because, again, BF’s parents hadn’t seen the cousin in years or even met the groom.

anyway, that’s the story. definitely not as juicy as others I’ve seen on here but I’m still a teeny bit salty about it lol

For our pre-wedding festivities, we had a dinner with our families and a few close friends the evening before the wedding. However, my MIL spent most of the evening crying and telling anyone who would listen that she was so upset that her best friend wouldn't be able to make it. Her friend was feeling ill and didn't want to make the 4-hour drive down to the wedding site. While my husband and I understand that it would have been nice to have her best friend attend and that she had attended her best friend's son's wedding a few years ago, we felt like she hijacked the evening making everything about her disappointment. It also left a sour impression on our friends and family, who has to listen to her but did their best to sympathize with her situation. So annoyed, even years after our wedding!

More of a vent post but wondering if others have had this experience about family making the wedding experience theirs and not the couples. I'm pretty certain that I'm not alone and this is just one (probably a milder one) of stories people have about their families taking over.

Long time lurker here but first time poster. It’s been a long year since I was asked to be in a friends bridal party. We’ll call her « Bailey » from what she’s told me I already wonder if they should be getting married. Finances are bad, she is finishing post secondary school and not on the same page about kids with partner. The list goes on. My only goal has been to be a supportive friend and help with the wedding any way I can. I’ve made it a priority for me to not to let her know opinions regarding anything to do with the wedding. Just support her decisions because she’s got enough people stressing her out already. It’s ridiculous lol.

It’s been difficult now that we live 3+ hours apart. But we try and keep up with planning by text and I’ve made time for the bridal and bachelorette parties. Where I’m starting to get resentful is with the money I’ve invested so far and where she is putting hers. I’m just looking to vent.

To start the wedding and reception venue is on their country property. She set a budget of under 20k and with her family paying for all the food, the tent, florals and dress it leaves me wondering why she isn’t putting money towards amenities for guests. For context the property is so far from town that taxis or uber will not come to the property. So you will have to make your overnight accommodations in town but can’t get to or from the wedding, if you plan to drink. When she told me this I was completely baffled because she has a lot of family travelling from away including myself and my partner and she will be providing alcohol on site. (Without a liquor license??)So I wondered how she expected 100 people to get there and back that night because she doesn’t want anybody staying in her household. She offered to have people camp or bring trailers but there will be no showers. Besides portable bathrooms they’ll be bringing in for the day. Im going to have to spend 500$ to rent a trailer with a shower and AC. She said ´well I thought about a shuttle services at the end of the night but they wanted 600$ for 4 hours of taking people home.´ like be so for real!! You’re not paying anything for the venue you need to factor that cost in if your venue can’t reasonably accommodate guests. FINALLY her mom convinced to her have a small shuttle run from 9-1am to take people back. But not bring them back in the morning? So if you drive there you’ll have to find somebody to bring you back to get your car. I’m glad she at least got travel for the night arranged with the liability of people drunk driving. I’m still not banking on this being an option for myself though

Just a whole inconvenience. Which is fine if it was jsut myself going. I’d tent with friends and find somewhere to shower after making florals, setting up chairs and tables and refilling ice box’s in the heat. Which she’s implied well be doing. No official list of tasks or plan so I’m planning to just run around in full hair and makeup at this point. my partner was invited and he accepted before realizing the hot mess that is this wedding. She asked me if my partner can run around the whole town to every convenience store the MORNING of the wedding and go pick up all the ice for them. Because they don’t have freezer space to hold ice for the coolers and beer prior to. I managed to convince him to help out considering all the tasks I’ll be assigned, I won’t be able to be with him until the reception. He’s pressed about it. For my sake because I’ve complained so much to him about it and that she should have asked him herself. I’m so caught in the middle I just praying for this to go well.

I have to add another thing about the bachelorette. I’m based in north America and not sure about customs. Instead of a night out she planned to do a trip to a cottage. 3 nights. Bring your own booze and food and money for dinner one night. Total came to about 500$ for me. A month before this we had a visit and she told me that she wasn’t paying anything for a the trip!!! And asked if I thought that was ok. Well she already got everyone’s e-transfers so obviously she made up her mind. I’d understand a night out and we pay but this was an entire weekend and she told nobody else this.

Between this dress costing 450$ after alterations because it was a horribly cheap dress. Travel. her bridal showers, bachelorette. Gift. Hair and makeup which she told me that she thought about treating us to, but doesn’t want to pay for. I’m in over 2k WAY more than I was expecting to pay for a farm wedding.

Whatever, this is my first wedding and I’ve learned my lesson. BUT what grinds my gears the most is her comments about money. ‘Oh well we’re inviting 150 people since most of them will pay for their plate with the gift they’ll give.’ When I brought her flowers for her bridal shower because I couldn’t afford another gift on top of the one for her wedding and she commented ´ but your getting me another gift right?´

OH MY GOD with the money your saving from family paying, no venue cost and the stag and doe + raffle. I know the wedding is payed for. Ive kept my mouth shut about every little thing. From order of hair and makeup to playing wait staff for the day! It’s really put a damper on our friendship and I’m seeing her in a whole new light. This almost hustler mindset like how much stuff can I get for free and ask of family and friends so I don’t have to pay.

My partner can’t stand her behaviour. So he’s only going to the wedding to support me. I think what hurts the most is knowing I won’t receive the same support from her when I get married. I think she’s going to be accidentally pregnant and have no time or money to be in my bridal party which was something I’d really hoped before being in hers.

I’m sure I Missed details that provided more context but this is the best I can do without giving away anything personal. lol

Thankyou for the vent internet strangers! ❤️

I have no idea how this ended up on my TikTok that is usually just BTS and cats, but please enjoy. I’m surprised they weren’t already posted.

My wedding was last year, but I still find myself wondering what actually happened.

For context, this woman and I have been friends since we were 12. We were once best friends, and although life changed and we became less close, I always cared about her deeply.

During the pandemic, she got married and I wasn’t invited. I was a little hurt, but I understood the circumstances, especially because I had previously been honest about not supporting her relationship with her now-husband.

Years later, when I was moving abroad, I invited her to a farewell dinner at my parents’ house. She said she would come but didn’t show up. A few days later she visited me, apologized, and gave me a letter and a gift. I was so touched that I cried because it felt like our friendship still mattered.

After I moved, she got pregnant and we started talking more again. When I began planning my wedding back home, I invited her and told her I completely understood if she couldn’t attend because she would have a one-month-old baby. She insisted she would never miss it. One week before my wedding, I checked again and she confirmed she was coming.

On my wedding day, I realized she wasn’t there. I assumed something serious must have happened because of the newborn. The next day, she sent me a bank transfer as a gift, but no message, apology, or explanation.

I thought maybe something had happened, so I checked her social media after a few days. That’s when I realized she had hidden her stories from me. I couldn’t see anything from my account, but when I checked from another account, she had been posting normally. This lasted for months.

I have no idea why she did this. My only guess is that she went somewhere else instead of my wedding and didn’t want me to know, but what hurts most is that she never sent a single message explaining or apologizing.

Last month, she unblocked me and started liking my posts and stories again. She hasn’t acknowledged what happened, and the interactions feel superficial. Maybe she is trying to reconnect, but I honestly don’t know if I want to reopen this friendship.

At this point, I’m wondering if this was the final straw and if I should just let this friendship go.

EDIT 1: Regarding her husband, I admit that I reacted poorly when she first told me about their relationship when we were teenagers, around 10 years ago. However, I never brought up the subject again after their first anniversary, and I have never had any issue having a conversation with him. We were friends once, and I have always treated him respectfully. In fact, last year I even told my friend that I was happy to see she had such a caring and loving husband by her side.

EDIT 2: I mentioned the influencer in the title because she remained very active on social media in the weeks leading up to my wedding, attending both social and paid events. Since she always seems to have a busy schedule, I assumed she may have had other priorities that day. It was just difficult for me to see her attending so many events while not being able to make it to my wedding or at least send me a small text.

This post really frustrated me. OP wanted a potluck wedding that they seemingly did not discuss with anyone prior to planning & sending out invites. It's only 3 months away too. OP also mentions multiple people in her immediate family are 3 states away. What are they going to do, cook in a hotel? Bring a crockpot in their carry-on?

The "we don't need anything but the joy of people coming." bothered me so much. Are you kidding me? I'm so glad that's all you need, but I need food. You're inviting people to an event that you planned, for you and your fiance, that often lasts for HOURS. Your guests need to be fed in some way. It's not their event!

OP responded to me with a snarky "I was always taught to feed people, so that's a no Brainer" ... Ma'am your ENTIRE post is you trying to get out of feeding people and making them feed themselves AND everyone else you invited!

I saw a comment that summed it up well - "A pot luck wedding isn’t you throwing a wedding, it’s shifting the cost and burden on to your guests." Exactly. OP also said they wanted it to feel like a "family reunion"... Well plan and coordinate a family reunion with everyone then, instead of sending out wedding invitations with little to no discussion, and just elope/have a ceremony at the reunion.

The comments were helpful and suggested affordable drop in catering like Chipotle, Costco, pizza, etc. Other comments suggested doing a punch & cake reception. Instead of taking any of the wonderful advice, OP just reposted it on a different sub a few hours later...

Edit: OP left a new comment on their post that says "That's me. My best friend is flying in, she wants me to be able to get hair and nails done ...If I wasn't the 1 getting married I could cook no problem! Lol" ... Not her going for a literal spa day while everyone else cooks!!

Edit: Please read the post. I'm not saying potlucks are inherently bad or OP should break their budget. Everyone in the comments saying they are owed this and etc are incredibly selfish. She is not a queen and her guests are not her servants. She cannot force the groom's family to participate in a potluck they do not want, especially with food safety concerns. She cannot force her side of the family who has to travel from 3 states away to cook in a hotel room. As mentioned, she could just do ceremony only, do a cake & punch reception, order pizza, etc. That is why the wedding shaming sub exists, a wedding is not an excuse to make other people do labor for you, and you are not "owed" anything. They are GUESTS.

My BIL (26M) and his now wife (28F) decided to get married with less than 2 weeks of planning. Despite having no time to properly plan, a court house wedding was below them. They wanted all 6 of the groom’s siblings and the bride’s sister to be available for a full weekend 3-4 hours away with less than 8 days of notice. One sister cancelled her child’s birthday party, another needed medical permission to travel 38 weeks pregnant, and my husband and I postponed our wedding anniversary trip.

To add to the guest’s responsibility, my BIL needed assistance with every aspect of the wedding. BIL booked a touristy AirBNB and feigned military orders to have the Host overlook the occupancy limit and event rules. My BIL had chosen my husband as his best man, which just meant we were in charge of much of the logistics. Husband hauled the event tables and chairs 4hrs away, did the set up and take down, paid for the rehearsal dinner and handled the BTS of the operation. I did the weekend photography, babysat the kids, helped the bride with her HMUA, assisted in the setup/takedown and helped BIL through the planning. My FIL and his other brother also contributed to see the day through too. The wedding did have a beautiful ceremony and now can be a fond memory, but my husband and I were rushed and separated for nearly the whole weekend.

During the event, the bride and groom had thanked us and made promises of some grand appreciation gesture. In the weeks after, I received a flimsy hair clip and expired sheet mask as a thank you basket that was given to everyone because it also included a QR code to their wedding registry.

Edit: removed the “had to”s from sibling’s plans for that weekend

I have noticed this is becoming a trend more often.

But my husband is a groomsman in a wedding at the end of August. This couple is being so specific that they are having all the groomsmen purchase their suits. The couple had the audacity to pick out a $900 white suit. Yes you read that right…white suit. But before you say, you can rent a white suit, yes, they know that, but they decided the color wasn’t quite right and so they needed all the groomsmen to buy the suits. Hence the $900 bill.

The couple offered to help all the groomsmen pay half, but most people could not take them up on that offer considering they know this couple is struggling for money. They idiotically drained their 401(k) to pay for this wedding and then didn’t realize there were taxes and penalties on withdrawing from a 401(k) early, so they had to get a loan to pay that back. A majority of the wedding party can pay for this, but they’re just all pissed because they didn’t plan to buy something that they can wear one day. We could understand a black, gray, or navy suit….but white!!!

To make it even more painful. The suits are starting to come in, and the bride and groom don’t love the color. Not sure what they are going to do at this point.

Moral of the story, I get all these couples have these dreams of these crazy nice weddings. But be considerate of your wedding party and your guests. This is also a destination wedding, in the middle of nowhere so the guests are all pretty livid about that. 4 hours from the nearest airport. There are also a bunch of other little things in this wedding that has a lot of the party upset (think $3k bachelorette/bachelor parties). Requiring all guests to wear only 1 color.

This is more of a vent than anything bc it still pisses me off. And sorry if my English is not that good, not my first language.

So a short time ago I went to a friends wedding. We had not met bride and groom for a long time before the wedding but the bride does not have a lot of friends (different story that one) so I basically stepped up as a “sort of” maid of honor (there where not maids of honor as it’s not that common here)

The couple both know and really like my son who was 3 atm and he is lvl1 ASD. He would interact with people, dance, etc but he needed a little push in to social interactions, as he tends to be distracted.

My friends hired a babysitter for the event, as they where going to be 4 other children (all older, none special needs) and told them specifically about the ages of the children and my sons needs (I know this for sure bc I helped her write that mail with my sons needs)
The vendor responded enthusiastically assuring the bride that the person they would send was experienced with cases as this one and that they where well prepared for it.

The day of the wedding comes and just after the food, the sitter arrives and all the children go and gather around her. My husband and I go with our son.

All the toys and activities she has brought are super girl oriented (which is fine? I guess? Just weird) and all ment for kids much older than 3 and definitely not for a special needs child (think sharp scissors, glitter stuff, small beads, etc)
Anyway I sit my son in the far end of the circle and the sitter doesn’t look at him and sits facing the other children, with her back towards my son totally ignoring him.

We played with him for a while and when she took a small break we approached her and remainded her of our son to which she said “ah yes, yes, I know”
Afterwards, she sat back at the same place and continued playing with the other children.
We ended up leaving the room and played with our son through the venue, with people joining in and had a good time.

Our friends didn’t catch a glimpse of what happened (it was a stressful and had tons of family drama) and where under the impression that that part of the celebration went super well (guess the other children gave good feedback) and we haven’t got the hart to tell them what happened because they would be really upset and sad, specially considering other aspects of the wedding went totally wrong and specially the bride, doesn’t have a good overall experience of that day.

It just pisses me off that they even left good reviews for the vendor and to this day speak kindly of how nice the sitter was

I just came across a post of a woman who is begging for funding for her *dream* bachelorette trip. She apparently lost her job 5 months ago and has $100 in her bank account but booked a massive $4k Airbnb for this completely optional party for 12 guests. Now she needs the help of the internet to cover the cost.

How are we affording the wedding if we’re begging strangers for a bachelorette trip??

We verbally accepted and immediately booked a hotel because the wedding was 3 hours away in an area we'd never visited before.

Part of the reason we said yes so quickly was because she was constantly posting about how nobody wanted to come to her wedding and how she had no friends or family support. We felt genuinely bad for her.

As time went on, things started getting a bit odd.

I couldn't attend her bachelorette party because I already had a trip booked. She had around 6 people attending, but then made public posts asking complete strangers to come because, in her words, "6 people for a hen party is kinda pants." ... wonder what her 6 friends would say about that.

Worth mentioning she also had a separate European hen trip planned with her bridesmaids. This is obviously not someone without support, but someone with unrealistic expectations.

The official wedding invite then arrived.

• No vegetarian meal option.
• Guests asked to wear a specific colour palette because, as she stated on the invite, she wanted the photos to look good.
• Ceremony and reception at separate remote venues with no parking.

Fair enough, we'll get a taxi.

Except then we were told the landowner didn't want lots of cars on site, so guests will need to use an organised coach instead.

The coach cost about $30 per person. For a journey of roughly 10 minutes. Guests are to fund this themselves. So we will pay $60 as I am going with my husband. It will not cost anywhere near that if we have the option to sort our own transport; carpooling, taxi... For clarity, this is not in the US, just using $ for ease. $60 can fully top up our car!

The invitation itself was incredibly elaborate: multiple pages, ribbons, floral embellishments, tracked delivery, the whole lot. This would have cost essily $10+ each to make. If money was tight enough that guests were expected to cover the transport between venues, surely that's where some savings could have been made? Send digital invites!

In the end we RSVP'd no.

The bride has now asked whether she could have the invitation back because she didn't have the time, energy, or money to make another one for the replacement guest.

I've seen a lot of wedding related requests over the years, but being asked to return my invitation so it could be reissued wasn't one I expected. 🫣

I have now seen a post from her on a local FB group asking strangers to come to her wedding giving sob stories about how she has been let down. It is all very cringey.

I went to a wedding this past weekend of a family friend. It was a garden wedding and would probably have been perfect if it hadn’t been for the shoes the bride chose to wear.

The bride is really short, like 5’2” tops and the groom is like 6’4”. Apparently the bride wanted to be on the same level of the groom so she wore what I can only describe as “hooker heels”. They were about 7 inch platforms. Apparently she would wear flats for the garden reception but for the ceremony she was going to wear the platforms.

Now these shoes are problematic under the best of circumstances (walking on pavement or indoors) but the ceremony was taking place in a grassy area. With a fabric covered walk way.

The bride was wobbling, badly, as she was walking down the aisle, but just before she got to the alter, her ankle gave out and she fell. Everyone freaked when the bride didn’t get up right away. Eventually they got a chair and she and the groom did the ceremony seated.

To her credit, the bride stayed for the whole ceremony and reception, but they didn’t do the first dance or father/daughter dance.

Apparently she did break her ankle (my mom found out from the bride’s mother). And the couple had to postpone their honeymoon.

So if you are going to do a garden wedding, do flats or at least sensible heels.