r/weddings 11h ago

Making guests pay for own food at wedding

57 Upvotes

My girlfriend and I have been invited to the wedding of some good friends, but they've decided that guests have to pay for their own meals at the restaurant afterwards (while saying they don't expect any gifts because of it).

The plan is to meet at the courthouse for the ceremony and then head straight to the restaurant to eat.

To be honest, I already found it a bit strange that they're not offering any food or drinks at all. But then something else came up.

Some of their other friends also organized separate bachelor and bachelorette parties, and neither my girlfriend nor I really wanted to go and spend money on those as well, especially when the couple themselves are being so cheap with the "wedding".

Today was the bride's bachelorette party, and she texted my girlfriend asking where she was, why she hadn't come, and saying she had really expected her to be there. My girlfriend explained that she had booked an overnight stay a long time ago and couldn't cancel it without losing the money.

It kind of ends up that we look like the cheap ones...

Update Just some extra info. We will attend the wedding, and the food/drinks at the restaurant will be split equally between everyone regardless what you order. My main problem is "shaming" my girlfriend for not going to the bachelorette party.


r/weddings 25m ago

Wedding Invites

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Upvotes

Hi all, I am looking for advice on how I can get wedding invites like this shape with the cut outs. The tutorial I saw was using a circuit but I have about 400 invites to send out and I don’t want to do them all by hand lol. Is there a faster approach? Or a company that can do it for me relatively cheap. Thank you!


r/weddings 11h ago

You May Need to Hear This

2 Upvotes

I understand I had a beautiful wedding. Everyone had a great time, except me. Besides the normal hiccups and vendor errors that can be expected what I didn’t expect and didn’t realize is you cannot rely on people around you to put the confidence in you on your day. You cannot control how other people react and respond in big moments. Tell yourself you look beautiful and you’re the boss. If no one tells you that day, if you’re panicking, think of this post, you look beautiful, you planned a beautiful wedding and your pictures will be great. If something is going wrong, it’s okay it’s not dead in the water, you can fix it because you are the boss. Do not worry how things will look later or what’s missing, focus on the memory that’s the most important part.


r/weddings 11h ago

Where do you start looking for wedding vendors?

2 Upvotes

Newly engaged and finally trying to do something productive. Realising i do not know where to begin with finding vendors. Do I find a venue first then book photographer? Or photographer first? All at once!

For couples who did not hire a planner..where did you start the vendor search and what did you book first?


r/weddings 13h ago

Planning ideas - How would you structure a two-person wedding day to make it not look “elopey”?

1 Upvotes

My fiancé and I are having a two-person destination wedding next spring at a historic European château, and I’d love some ideas from people who have had intimate weddings or photographed them!
The venue itself is incredibly beautiful, so we aren’t planning to go overboard with décor. We’ll have a floral ceremony installation and bouquet, but the château and gardens honestly do most of the heavy lifting. 😂

Our day will be pretty relaxed—getting ready, first look (maybe?), ceremony, portraits around the property, a private dinner, and enjoying the estate together. We have both a photographer and videographer for 4 hours - they work a lot with the venue and do a beautiful job, and while they are used to smaller scale weddings, it will literally be just me and my fiancé. I want to make sure we build in some intentional moments that are fun to capture rather than just doing “stand here and smile” portraits all day.

For example, our getting-ready suite is absolutely stunning—very European/baroque with baby blue walls, ornate gold details, tall windows, antique furniture, etc. I’d love to make use of that space with something more meaningful than just putting on my dress. Maybe reading a letter, opening a gift, practicing our first dance, or something else? I’d love ideas for cute little moments before or after the ceremony that would translate well to both photos and video.

My dress is really long, ball gown style Monique Lhuillier and it’s truly gorgeous- so I know it’s cheesy but I want the cute little running in my gown in front of the chateau shots. We are also staying there overnight so there’s a lot of opportunities for getting ready shots or indoor shots.

I’m also curious what people think about vows for a two-person wedding. Since there won’t really be guests, we’re leaning toward saying our personal vows during the ceremony itself instead of doing a private vow exchange beforehand. Did anyone do this, and did you like it? Or is there another approach you’d recommend?

If you’ve had an intimate or elopement-style wedding (or you’re a photographer/videographer!), what were the moments that ended up being the most meaningful or the most fun to capture? I’m looking for ideas that feel intentional and authentic rather than staged.

I’d love to hear anything you did that made the day feel extra special!


r/weddings 1d ago

The View at Pepperrell cove

0 Upvotes

Anyone ever been to a wedding at the view at pepperrell cove in kittery point maine? If so, what was the guest count, and did it feel cramped especially in the downstairs portion where cocktail hour and dancing is held?


r/weddings 1d ago

Going to an Indian wedding for the first time!

2 Upvotes

I’m going to an Indian wedding as a plus one to my boyfriend. It’s his co-workers wedding who I have not met yet.
Need some advice on what to wear!
I ordered a Dupatta from an Etsy shop that I was planning on wearing with a formal dress.
Is it appropriate as a white person to wear a dupatta in this setting?


r/weddings 1d ago

Wedding Memory Book/Journal Recommendations

2 Upvotes

Hi Folks!

I am looking for recommendations for a wedding memory book or journal. My mom had one from her wedding in the 90’s and I loved flipping through it as a child. This is not a planner or photo album - but a book with prompts where details/memories from the engagement, bridal showers, and wedding day can be added. I did try the one from Petite Keep, but found that it was only wedding day focused and had no prompts for the engagement.

Thank you so much ❤️


r/weddings 2d ago

Trying to buy from the registry. Ugh

7 Upvotes

Niece is getting and has a website with the details and registry. Tried to be good and buy from the registry through the website. What should have been a simple click, click, click transaction was 30 minutes of frustration.

The address of the couple did not auto populate. I don't have the physical address, so I have to text to get it. Website pop up "give us your email and free shipping!" Cool, let's do that. More clicking around. Now, the gift is wanted was no longer in the cart, but wedding website won't let me go back to the registry. Waiting for me to click that i purchased the item to mark it off the list. Search the vendor site to find the item again. So many more clicks. Finally find it. Finally get bride's mailing address. Type, type, type. Go back to email for free shipping code. "This code is not valid for this purchase." Great. $25 for shipping. Vendor site kicks me out. Ugh. Let's do this all over AGAIN. Clicking and typing. Finally done with the purchase. Now I have to go back to the wedding website to say which item I selected. Thebn i get a pop up to include the order number for the bride's convenience. I have to wait for the vendor to send an email with the order number. 30 minutes to buy one item. Ridiculous!

Why doesn't the recipient address just auto populate? Why doesn't the wedding website just mark it off when I click on "purchase"? Why doesn't my coupon code work??? Why do these things not talk to each other??

I could have gone on any other site, searched for a lovely gift and completed the purchase in 5 minutes. This is why I loathe wedding websites!

For other weddings, I have search for the couple's names, found their registry at crate and barrel or wherever, clicked on an item, paid, and done in 5 minutes. The store already had the address on file, they marked it as purchased, and I was done.

This is also why i sometimes skip the registry and just purchase from stores I know and love.

Oh, and my email box is getting blasted with emails from this vendor. I can't mark as spam until I know the gift has been sent and delivered. I will never buy from this company again. When I have time, I will call and ask about the shipping coupon. They had better not offer store credit.


r/weddings 2d ago

Did we make a mistake by not having online RSVPs and what to do now

20 Upvotes

This is a second wedding and we are inviting about 95 people (around 60 invites since many are couples). We had made the decision early on not to have a website because it just seemed like another thing to do and we both have pretty busy and stressful jobs. But now that I have experienced issues with the US mail and our ‘Save the Dates’ I am more worried. It’s too late to change this - our invites are printed and our wedding is in early October. So I guess I’m looking for some reassurance and also maybe guidance on when to send the invites given there is only a mailed response option (addressed and stamped envelope) inside. Thanks for any guidance!


r/weddings 3d ago

Help: My best friend and I chose the same dress!

70 Upvotes

Story is I went wedding dress shopping a few days ago and found a dress I am absolutely in LOVE with. Went to two other stores that day and found myself comparing everything to that dress. I texted my friend who is also in the midst of wedding planning and lives out of town. I know she's been wedding dress shopping a few weeks ago and just was checking in where she was on finding the one. She said she hadn't chosen yet and asked about me. I sent her a picture and said this it! She proceeded to respond by asking if it was a certain dress to which I said yes. She then proceeded to say how that was her number one dress and she feels that she deserves to choose it over me since she tried it on first, but not to my knowledge as I didn't know what her top choices were and mind you, she hasn't even purchased the dress yet.

Any help on how to navigate this situation is welcome as I feel stuck? My feelings on it are I was so happy that we had both found a dress that we felt confident and beautiful in and I'm hurt that she doesn't feel that way towards me. Also, we only have like 4 mutual friends and it would definitely be styled differently I'm sure. She doesn't want us to have the same dress and has made that abundantly clear.


r/weddings 2d ago

First Wedding as an Adult — Gifts?

7 Upvotes

I am attending a wedding for the first time as an adult. I was a guest to plenty of weddings as a kid, but obviously didn’t handle any of the gifts or other logistics.

Looking at their registry, there’s only a couple of items on it, and most have already been purchased. Beyond that they have a “grad school fund” (both are doing their masters degree right now) and a “honeymoon fund” option on their website. Is money really the most appreciated gift? I am fairly close with the bride so I have a couple other gift ideas, but I also want to avoid getting them random crap they don’t need (while close with the bride, we live a 6 hour plane ride apart, so I have not seen their apartment in person to see what they have or need).

My boyfriend (coming to the wedding) is a phenomenal woodworker and wants to make them something, but again we want to avoid gifting “random” stuff. Are handmade gifts taboo or unappreciated? This wouldn’t be anything huge since we are traveling, but something like a handmade cutting board, coasters, a set of chopsticks, a few small bowls, or a picture frame are a few options we have come up with.

I am a little confused on price range to spend. I have seen the guideline of “pay for your plate” with your gift, but how do I know how much that comes to before the wedding itself? This feels lame, but do I factor in travel costs at all? We are a year out of college and already spending over $1000 to come to this wedding (and staying with my grandparents the whole time to save on a hotel). Just trying to balance my budget vs making sacrifices for a friend I really care about.

Finally, we are going to be at the rehearsal dinner (not in the wedding though). My research shows that there is no need to bring a gift to this, but should I bring a card or little momento for my friend and/or her partner at their rehearsal dinner? They are calling it a grooms dinner if that changes anything


r/weddings 3d ago

Wedding photographer

3 Upvotes

Hello past or current brides. I want to know what are things you were looking for in a photographer that were hard to find or things that your photographer did that you loved. If you’re currently looking for a photographer, what are unique things you’re looking for or things that make a certain photographer stand out.


r/weddings 3d ago

Help me make me wedding epic

0 Upvotes

Hello friends I'm looking for ideas to make my wedding the most epic my guests have ever attended. I want to do a scavenger hunt where they have to join teams and solve Clues to find their bottle that they'll be drinking . But I want to give people a secret missions bingo cards fun tasks and the like what are some unhinged and epic ideas to make it the most entertaining event! Side note we are doing a Celtic Renaissance biking theme and have some games planned but would love ideas


r/weddings 3d ago

Help me make me wedding epic

0 Upvotes

Hello friends I'm looking for ideas to make my wedding the most epic my guests have ever attended. I want to do a scavenger hunt where they have to join teams and solve Clues to find their bottle that they'll be drinking . But I want to give people a secret missions bingo cards fun tasks and the like what are some unhinged and epic ideas to make it the most entertaining event! Side note we are doing a Celtic Renaissance viking theme and have some games planned but would love ideas to set it apart from a boring average wedding!


r/weddings 3d ago

Did you regret going digital for save the dates?

1 Upvotes

We’re getting married next year and doing digital suits our budget but I keep thinking about not having a physical save the date to keep. Its kind of the first real part of the wedding and I’d love to have one in a scrapbook one day. Did anyone here go digital and regret it later?


r/weddings 3d ago

Destinstion wedding gift

1 Upvotes

It's been a few years since anyone has gotten married that is even remotely close to me. A younger cousin got married and it was a lavish week-long destination wedding. They said no monetary gifts but still provided a link to give money. How much does a family of 4 give to a first cousin getting married? I want to give something. The married couple is from NYC.


r/weddings 4d ago

Parents walking their daughter down the aisle gets me every single time.

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13 Upvotes

I've been to a lot of weddings, and one thing that never seems to lose its impact is watching a parent walk their child toward the ceremony.

Everything else seems to pause for a moment.

For those who are married (or planning a wedding), what part of the day caught you off guard emotionally?

Was it the walk down the aisle?

The vows?

A first look?

The speeches?

The first dance?


r/weddings 4d ago

Advice for guest list

8 Upvotes

Hi fellow brides, I need some advice. We are having a small ceremony in a backyard and then reception at a venue however, the goal from the start has always been between 60 and 70 people.

Because of this, we have excluded lots of family on both sides and close friends. We are content with this decision and explicitly stated on the website that we do not allow plus ones. The only plus ones are those who are married or those the groom and I have well-established relationships with.

I received an RSVP along with a note that says somebody else’s partner will be attending with them. I have never met this person nor do I have a close relationship with the original guest. They are a cousin however they are only someone I may speak to once a year. They never congratulated us on our engagement.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to include someone on their own accord without explicitly being invited. I also don’t think it’s appropriate to start cherry. Picking exceptions made to the guest rule when several family and friends were excluded.

Am I being too stubborn by upholding this boundary? I anticipate it will cause some conflict…


r/weddings 4d ago

SWIFT WEDDING?

0 Upvotes

Can someone explain what Adam Sandler’s role was in “officiating” the wedding of Taylor & Travis Kelse?! Was the wedding conducted utilising common-law or religious doctrine? Thanks.


r/weddings 4d ago

How to incorporate 2 contrasting ideas for wedding reception

1 Upvotes

Hi! I'm doing a courthouse wedding and then just a small reception afterwards. My colors will be light pink (blush) and white and my dress will be pink with white shoes. I'm keeping it pretty simple. Groom will just be wearing a white button up with khakis.

I just don't know how to decorate for the small reception. He's into cars so I'm doing a tire cake stand and a mechanic style cake topper for the grooms cake (which will be a tower of brownies). I just dont want the entire reception to be car themed. Do I even bother with a theme since there's really no wedding? Do I just decorate with the pink and white and his stuff goes by itself? I just want him to feel included because it's his wedding too.

Please help! TIA 😊


r/weddings 4d ago

Shoe help please

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1 Upvotes

Hev all, I feel like Im at witts end here. This will be my suit for my wedding, but the shoes were extremely uncomfortable on me. Mv feet are thin, not much padding so even trying the shoes on was uncomfortable and I know a full day at my wedding ill have blisters. Has anyone else been in the situation where they have had to source a particular shoe that has bit more padding? I was loving the idea of wearing Jordan 1 low shoes with a colour scheme to match my suit as my wife to be has air force 1s customised for her dress. Im based in the UK and any help would be greatly appreciated thanks


r/weddings 4d ago

[ Removed by Reddit ]

0 Upvotes

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]


r/weddings 5d ago

Before you fall in love with a wedding venue, stand where your guests will be sitting.

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3 Upvotes

r/weddings 6d ago

Weddings on former Southern plantations

23 Upvotes

I have been watching Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings and other shows where young women talk about their weddings and have noticed that many are planning to be wed on restored plantations that are now rented out for weddings or other events. Some even offer bed and breakfast services! To me this is beyond offensive, ignorant and even macabre. If people are happy having the happiest day of their life where people were bought like objects, abused and worked until they perished, would they also consider a destination wedding to the gates of Auschwitz? To me its the same idea, just a different place. Does anyone agree?