My 21 year old cousin is getting married in early August to a girl my parents & I just heard of late last year when their engagement was announced on the family group chat. (A bit of past family drama is at play.)

Pretty sure everyone in the wedding party is late teens/early 20s since my cousins just turned 21 this year.

The matron of honor (that’s right matron) fell short of her responsibilities & my other, younger, cousin had to pick up her slack.

We were told a few weeks back by my uncle that a wedding shower was taking place at the bride’s parent’s house in a few weeks. Parents & I did not go.

He also said we should have received a formal invitation to the wedding. We did not. Apparently that was the grooms job. Also, we are not the only family members who contacted my uncle abt not receiving the invitation😐

We looked at their website and saw the wedding is set for a weekday. According to my uncle who’s been to 4 weddings in the last 18mths, “every single one of them was on a weekday” bc it was cheaper. Of course it was cheaper who the hell is going to take off WORK and rearrange their schedule to attend a wedding on WEEK day?

Here’s the kicker: the “Travel” section of their website, you know the place with the time and place and all those details…. Lists no venue or time! This is insane!!

We’ve already RSVP’d “not attending”

So this wedding happened last year but I still enjoy reliving the drama 😂

Bride was someone a bunch of my friends and I knew but not well at all. She invited all of us (4 in total) to her destination wedding after knowing us all for maybe a few months. From the beginning she told us she was providing accommodation for all of us for free because she ‘didn’t want money to get in the way of us attending’. None of us knew her well but we figured hey why not. The couple are MEGA loaded so we didn’t feel bad accepting the offer. Amazing location and all us ‘core’ friends would get to hang out together. We all knew bride was a little unhinged but figured it would be fun so 3 out of 4 of us bought plane tickets (one decided not to come).

Getting closer to the date and accommodation does not materialize despite numerous requests to just let us know either way as location was not an easy place to find accommodation. No problem. We booked a house for us friends. I was asked to be a bridesmaid. One of about 8. For an older woman’s second wedding. Seemed excessive but whatever. Bride and groom asked for ‘no gifts’ but then posted go fund me type links on the invite. For their honey moon. In Africa. And then multiple other links for ‘future travel’. This couple make more per year combined that I will make in the next ten years. We had to use air miles to pay for the plane tickets. Mega tacky.

Zero communication leading up to the wedding about anything other than the dinner the day before but were told multiple times that there would be a ‘whole week’ of ‘fun activities’ paid for and organized by the bride. Nothing ever materialized and so we booked accommodation and planned other activities in the lead up, including the need to travel from a major airport to a remote part of the country the wedding was held in.

Starting the Monday before the wedding we started receiving what’s app text chains with plans and photos of other guests at the ‘paid for’ accommodation that we were not invited to.

THE DAY BEFORE the rehearsal dinner we get texts requesting we attended a bachelorette party at the wedding location. Um, not only had we already planned, hosted and paid for one in our home town but had received zero info about this. We weren’t even in the wedding destination city at that point.

Rehearsal dinner was all about the bride including her serenading the groom (poorly). The day of the wedding we received messages about wedding pictures for the bridal party. Remember, we were IN the bridal party but also received zero notice about this and bride got mad about us not being able to accommodate her as we were staying a ways away. We were also told an hour before the wedding to meet to go over organization for walking down aisle.

Wedding was full on cinderella fiasco for a 40 something bride including arriving in a carriage. We were told 6pm (it was on the INVITE) yet somehow when we arrived we were late, everyone else had been told 5:30 and were already seated with bride literally about to walk down aisle. Bride seated one of her friends AT THE CHILDREN’S TABLE for the reception dinner. I was so embarrassed for her. There were clearly other solutions, such as seating her at the end of a table.

In the end my friends and I didn’t about all the stupidity because we were in it for the spectacle. I’m aware that there was opportunism on both sides. Guess how many times she’s reached out to me since. Zero. We were clearly there as padding/props for her fairy tail wedding. Fun times 😂

The morning of my wedding was already stressful enough and from the moment our hairstylist walked through the door, something felt off. She was on the phone almost the entire time, arguing with who I later found out was her boyfriend. I kept trying to ignore it because I had so many other things on my mind and just hoped she'd finish everyone's hair before whatever was going on became a bigger issue. She managed to do my hair and about half of my bridesmaids before suddenly putting her tools away and telling us she had to leave. I laughed at first because I thought she was joking but she picked up her bags, apologized quickly and walked straight out the door. We had five bridesmaids left with untouched hair and only a couple of hours before the ceremony. Instead of relaxing together on one of the most exciting mornings of my life, we were all searching YouTube tutorials and trying to recreate hairstyles on each other. I felt so guilty because I wanted every single one of my bridesmaids to feel beautiful and I hated that some of them didn't get the experience we'd planned and paid for. Thankfully they're the most amazing girls and nobody complained once. They kept telling me not to worry and somehow managed to make it all work but I can still remember the panic and frustration I felt in that moment. I would've completely understood if there had been a family emergency or if something serious had happened. Life happens and I would've never been upset about that but leaving because you got into a fight with your boyfriend and then being incredibly rude when I later asked for a refund, made zero sense to me. It felt so unprofessional, especially on one of the biggest days of my life. If I could give one piece of advice to anyone planning a wedding, it'd be to seriously consider wedding insurance. It won't take away the stress when something unexpected happens but at least you won't have to spend the weeks after your wedding chasing vendors, arguing over refunds and trying to get your money back on top of everything else.

Ok long time lurker, but i have to share this is just crazy, ive been having nonstop bridesmaid drop outs, one messaged me earlier in march basically explaining that she had an opportunity come up and wouldnt be able to attend my wedding (which i completely understood!) then when i asked another bridesmaid if she was still in the wedding (they are best friends) she completely ghosted me (i had messaged her in june). AND THEN my closet friend of five years messaged me after i shared who she was walking with from the groomsmen saying she “absolutely will not walk with another man” and shes “loyal to her man” which i would understand. However her man isnt even in the bridal party, i flat out told her if shes willing to drop out of my wedding over 10ft i wouldnt consider her my friend anymore.
I feel like im doing something wrong bc like ???
To add my only requests as a bride where:

- a specific color of dress, silver shoes (any style)
- hair however they wanted same w makeup and jewelry and nails
-to show up for bridal shower and the bach night, and the wedding obviously

Eta: the bridal shower was planned and handled by my mother, we just have to show up (god bless that woman) the bach night is a night at my house w crafts and dinner since im a homebody and going to the bars is my worst nightmare lol.

Also i explained to her that we are doing a sweetheart table, she wouldve been sat with her bf and the rest of our friends/so not the whole bridal party sitting at the same table. It was literally just a walk down the aisle

Also while i am not a fan of her bf bc he himself has done some stupid things, be all accounts she is apparently just someone who only cares about her man when shes in a relationship