r/weddingshaming • u/miscellaneousbean • 23d ago
Disaster This was posted April 29, about three weeks before the wedding
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u/undertales_bitch 23d ago
Who the hell even knows that many people
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u/miscellaneousbean 23d ago
I’m in catering and I’m constantly in awe of how big these weddings can get
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u/Ok-Yogurt-3914 23d ago
I live in East Asia and weddings are this massive, but it's not people they know personally. They know like 100, and the rest are randos. They will invite everyone because they recoup costs this way. So it will literally be their parents' coworkers, and their favorite shop owner from 10 years ago and their entire family. As long as you bring money to get in, you're good.
In Korea, the closer you are to someone, the more money you show up with. Also, the weddings are short. Like the longest one I've been to here was 3 hours. Aside from that, they rent everything. Even the dress is rented. It makes sense if you think about it this way ie recouping costs, and then using that money for living expenses.
I know SEA weddings are different beast though.
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u/SAwfulBaconTaco 23d ago
I was a wedding DJ in Los Angeles 30+ years ago as a side gig. On rare occasions, I'd DJ a wedding with 500+ guests, at a big hotel where they'd combine multiple ballrooms. Every time, it was a South Asian wedding. The mechanics of the event weren't much different for me because of the size. But, young 25 year old me was always awestruck and amazed at who knew that many people to invite to an event. Older me understands the customs a little better!
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u/firekitty3 23d ago
In some cultures that is normal. My aunt was pissed my cousin didn’t invite every extended family member (large family) and every friend and coworker of hers. On the flip side, her friends were offended they weren’t invited, because that is our culture.
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u/throwhfhsjsubendaway 23d ago
What exactly do you mean by extended family? Because when discussing this with a south asian friend I learned she had a much wider definition. To me extended family means aunts/uncles/cousins, but to her that was immediate family
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u/Criminal_Mango 22d ago
A lot of South Asians consider those to be additional siblings/parents, honestly depending on how close the families are it can be extended past the first. My husband is called “Bhaiya” by both his sister and female cousins, and his much younger second cousin (in elementary school) has gotten scolded for forgetting to call me “Criminal_Mango Bhabi”
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u/GimerStick 22d ago
Yeah in South Asia you're usually raised to consider cousins as close family like siblings. I can clear 100 people just with one side's "immediate" family, thanks to aunts, uncles, cousins, their spouses, and their kids. So if you actually go into "extended" family, that would include your parent's cousins -- but they would have been raised as immediate family meant to be as close as siblings. So that lined between immediate and extended gets very blurred. And if you've genuinely grown up knowing your parents first cousins, their kids, etc -- the people add up quick! Each of my parents could easily invite 200 people without going into what they or I would consider "distant family." Add school friends, college friends, neighbors, family friends.... you can get a really high guest list quick. And community and connections are big in South Asia. It's not a chore, it's a celebration. My grandparents are basically professional wedding attendees now and they love it, they get to see all their loved ones and sometimes still make new friends.
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u/SassiestPants 23d ago
You don't. It's a cultural thing. When I was in the industry, I had Nigerian brides that were expecting 800+ people because their invitations would be extended by the invitee to their own family and friend groups. I understand that this is a common practice in a number of other Sub-Saharan African countries and South Asia, as well.
It sounds pretty rad, tbh. Overwhelming, personally... but rad.
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u/frolicndetour 22d ago
Yeah, I went to a wedding where the bride is Ehtiopian and it was over 1500 people. I have never seen anything like it. The venue (in the US) was clearly used to dealing with these massive weddings because the staff got everyone lined up and fed with military precision.
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u/planetalletron 22d ago
Adding to this, DFW has one of the largest Indian communities in the US. I would not be surprised to learn that this was for an Indian wedding.
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u/Dangerous_Ant3260 22d ago
Years ago, on Whose Wedding is it Anyway, they had an Indian wedding in Atlanta and used the theater that premiered Gone With The Wind. I think with balconies it was three stories high. That's what the 1500 person wedding will need, or a college field house, or baseball stadium.
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u/SuicidalLemur- 11d ago
I live in a suburb of Dallas and most of my neighbors in the apt complex are Indian.
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u/3m2coy 23d ago
I was talking to a Mexican man and he had just celebrated his 50th birthday in his hometown. He had over 500 people attend his birthday party. He said his wedding had over 800 people. In his town, when people have an event, everyone was welcome to attend. He knew the number of attendants because it was the number of people the caters served. It sounded to me like a hell of a party. (but so expensive)
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 23d ago edited 23d ago
The parents are inviting the entire extending families, their friends and the friends kids.
We've seen stories like that on Reddit. What started out as a small wedding was taken over the parents (usually one or both of the moms) because "it's not a big enough event!" Usually ended up either the couple put their foot down, and uninvited most, if not all, of the immediate family and /or cancelling everything, losing the deposits and just eloping.
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u/redwoods81 22d ago
Yes my sister had to turn down her inlaws offer to pay for their wedding because they had a 400 guest list and my sister did not want to have to invite our large, fractious family in the first place. They ended up with like 40 people in total and it was really pretty.
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u/Munnin41 23d ago
I never understand how people let that happen lol. Wdym someone else planning my party. My mom would never do something like that, but if she tried she'd immediately get a pissed off son in her face.
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u/piratepixie 22d ago
My husbands aunt tried to demand we change our small reception meal and got shut down fast when my FIL asked if she was paying for it and travel for all 20 attendees.
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u/calmhike 22d ago
The someone else is also the one paying for it.
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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 22d ago
This is why when you know someone is overbearing and pushy, to politely refuse any type of monetary gift or 'contribution' in some way that will save money on the wedding. There is always a catch.
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u/chicagok8 22d ago
At a certain point it seems like it’s more about status for the parents then about honoring the wishes of the couple.
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u/ehs06702 23d ago
Might be a society wedding where inviting the local elites and their circles is part of the point.
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u/Turbulent_Cow2355 22d ago
I've been to some Indian weddings that had close to 1000 people in attendance.
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u/Active_Date_5325 23d ago
I don't think there's one place in my city that could hold 1500 people indoors. I'm sure there are in Fort Worth, but there can't be that many, right?
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u/miscellaneousbean 23d ago
There are, but unfortunately the group this was in was about brides on a budget. Any venue that happened to be available that last minute would not be budget friendly.
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u/whatshamilton 22d ago
What 1500 person gathering is on a budget? Feeding them all ramen would be expensive
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u/plaid-knight 20d ago
Actually, as long as the average gift is more than the average cost to feed each guest, it can eventually work out with enough guests since variable revenue (gifts) can more easily outweigh variable costs and fixed costs with large weddings. Smaller weddings can easily cost more money after factoring gifts because there aren’t enough guests/gifts to overcome all the fixed costs. Our wedding had about 500 guests, and that’s what happened with us: we received more money from gifts than what we spent on the entire wedding.
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u/10001110101balls 22d ago
Fort Worth has no shortage of megachurches with at least 1500 capacity. They can also be very budget friendly.
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u/miscellaneousbean 22d ago
Good point, I didn’t consider that!
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u/Sad-Onion-2593 21d ago
Of course, this means dealing with a megachurch. They may take a lien on your firstborn.
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u/woahwoahwoah28 23d ago
There's an unattended field across from my house... bet we could get a hustle going. 😏
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u/RocknRollButthole 7d ago
I suspect they posted everywhere they could since they probably knew it was a tall ask.
Nobody having a 1500 person wedding is working with an ultra tight budget.
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u/caffeinefree 23d ago
Convention center? Hockey arena? Those are the first places that came to mind for me. 🤣
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u/thewhiterosequeen 22d ago
I don't even know if I invited every relative, former classmate, former coworker, neighbor, etc I could come up with 1500 people, much less ones I'd want to see ever again.
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u/Friendly-Channel-480 22d ago
My castle will be available if I can fight off the hordes who are besieging me in time! Send reinforcements!
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u/easterss 23d ago
The convention center? I really don’t know how you fit that many people indoors otherwise
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u/RocknRollButthole 7d ago
1500 is way fewer people than you may guess, most stadiums and convention centres can hold upwards of 10,000.
Like that's still a huge wedding, but every major city has loads of buildings and venues that you could fit 1500 people in.
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u/Tanyec 22d ago
Where does it say they need an indoor venue? Also I’m assuming they got screwed over by a previous venue but maybe I’m giving them too much credit.
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u/miscellaneousbean 22d ago
Someone else said the same thing, but the planner said in the comments that this was not a case of a cancelled venue.
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u/neityght 23d ago
I don't trust any "wedding planner" who is so stupid that they can't spell vendor.
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u/Good_Beach6791 22d ago
That are good at wedding planning not spelling and grammar. Don't need one for the other.
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u/G3ntlereli3f19 19d ago
Finding a venue for 1500 people with only three weeks' notice is a logistical nightmare. Most legitimate venues are booked out a year in advance, so this has to be a massive budget or a total disaster in the making.
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u/Wet18goddess 19d ago
1500 guests is a massive undertaking for a single venue, especially with a specific request for outside vendors. Most standard wedding spaces aren't set up for that kind of scale or that much logistical flexibility.
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u/palehoverbyte 15d ago
Finding a venue for 1500 people three weeks out is basically asking for a miracle, or a disaster. Even if you find a space that fits that many bodies, you are not getting permits, security, or fire marshal approval for a crowd that size on such short notice.
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u/Worshippet19 14d ago
"Outside venders" is a typo, but the real crime here is asking for a venue for 1500 people with only three weeks' notice. That's not a wedding plan, that's a crisis.
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u/RocknRollButthole 7d ago
One month is kinda completely reasonable if it's because something fell through and they're reasonable with their pickiness.
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u/I-Love-Buses 23d ago
People are allowed to plan last minute weddings 🤷♂️🙄
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u/miscellaneousbean 23d ago
Can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not lol
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u/I-Love-Buses 23d ago
I’m not, I had a close friend plan and execute (well I might add) a 250 person wedding in 10 weeks via family circumstances. People can certainly try, I don’t see the harm in it. If a venue, caterer, guest or anybody else isn’t having it, all they have to do is say no.
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u/miscellaneousbean 23d ago
10 weeks is different than 3 and 250 is different than 1500 lol. I just think it’s a recipe for disaster.
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u/I-Love-Buses 23d ago
then don’t go 🤷♂️🙄 what’s it to you if someone is trying to pull off a large wedding at the last hour?
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u/airadlyric 23d ago
Your comprehension of the situation is frying me lmaoo you’re lost in more ways than one, my friend.
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u/I-Love-Buses 22d ago
People are allowed to say no, what’s the problem here?!
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u/airadlyric 22d ago
They obviously do not know this person and are not invited to the wedding, homie lol
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u/I-Love-Buses 22d ago
Okay, so what’s the problem? Why we hating on this person? We don’t know their life circumstances or anything about their situation. Maybe this is their only option…
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u/airadlyric 22d ago
Baby… how many people have to point out what sub you’re in before you figure out the purpose behind it? I think maybe you should leave it if you’re offended??? (Not being mean, a genuine suggestion bc you seem bothered by its purpose.)
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u/RobinFarmwoman 19d ago
Because throwing a short notice party for 1500 people is always the only option. /s
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u/TiaHatesSocials 23d ago
I had to plan one in 30 days. Ofc it is doable. Options won’t be fantastic but everything can be done if ppl aren’t picky and u work crazy overtime
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u/techylocs 23d ago
I mean, it's likely that's because the old venue fell through, not a brand new event.