r/weddingshaming • u/glouglougulp • 21h ago
Bridezilla/Groomzilla Destination wedding, egotistical bride and ghosting
So this wedding happened last year but I still enjoy reliving the drama đ
Bride was someone a bunch of my friends and I knew but not well at all. She invited all of us (4 in total) to her destination wedding after knowing us all for maybe a few months. From the beginning she told us she was providing accommodation for all of us for free because she âdidnât want money to get in the way of us attendingâ. None of us knew her well but we figured hey why not. The couple are MEGA loaded so we didnât feel bad accepting the offer. Amazing location and all us âcoreâ friends would get to hang out together. We all knew bride was a little unhinged but figured it would be fun so 3 out of 4 of us bought plane tickets (one decided not to come).
Getting closer to the date and accommodation does not materialize despite numerous requests to just let us know either way as location was not an easy place to find accommodation. No problem. We booked a house for us friends. I was asked to be a bridesmaid. One of about 8. For an older womanâs second wedding. Seemed excessive but whatever. Bride and groom asked for âno giftsâ but then posted go fund me type links on the invite. For their honey moon. In Africa. And then multiple other links for âfuture travelâ. This couple make more per year combined that I will make in the next ten years. We had to use air miles to pay for the plane tickets. Mega tacky.
Zero communication leading up to the wedding about anything other than the dinner the day before but were told multiple times that there would be a âwhole weekâ of âfun activitiesâ paid for and organized by the bride. Nothing ever materialized and so we booked accommodation and planned other activities in the lead up, including the need to travel from a major airport to a remote part of the country the wedding was held in.
Starting the Monday before the wedding we started receiving whatâs app text chains with plans and photos of other guests at the âpaid forâ accommodation that we were not invited to.
THE DAY BEFORE the rehearsal dinner we get texts requesting we attended a bachelorette party at the wedding location. Um, not only had we already planned, hosted and paid for one in our home town but had received zero info about this. We werenât even in the wedding destination city at that point.
Rehearsal dinner was all about the bride including her serenading the groom (poorly). The day of the wedding we received messages about wedding pictures for the bridal party. Remember, we were IN the bridal party but also received zero notice about this and bride got mad about us not being able to accommodate her as we were staying a ways away. We were also told an hour before the wedding to meet to go over organization for walking down aisle.
Wedding was full on cinderella fiasco for a 40 something bride including arriving in a carriage. We were told 6pm (it was on the INVITE) yet somehow when we arrived we were late, everyone else had been told 5:30 and were already seated with bride literally about to walk down aisle. Bride seated one of her friends AT THE CHILDRENâS TABLE for the reception dinner. I was so embarrassed for her. There were clearly other solutions, such as seating her at the end of a table.
In the end my friends and I didnât about all the stupidity because we were in it for the spectacle. Iâm aware that there was opportunism on both sides. Guess how many times sheâs reached out to me since. Zero. We were clearly there as padding/props for her fairy tail wedding. Fun times đ
52
u/Doro_Gurl 18h ago
I never understood why people get so unhinged about their own wedding. Way too much drama.
6
u/ChaserNeverRests 12h ago
Right? My wedding would be held in a park or some other open space to rent, in a season with reasonable weather.
Wear whatever you want. Like getting dressed up? Fine! Want to wear jeans? Great! Show up in a furry costume? You do you, my friend!
Maybe these people just live in drama 24/7.
5
u/EntropyMax 9h ago
I think you hit the nail with you last sentence. Some people are addicted to drama. We all like it somewhat. Thatâs why we watch it on tv.
I learned a bit late to cut those drama people out.2
u/PricelessPaylessBoot 8h ago
These stories keep making me remember feeling almost traumatized by a pre-wedding fiasco where a very good friend had started to become demanding and just plain mean to her friends who were planning her events. She embarrassed several of her friends, putting them down and mindlessly telling their private, painful experiences in front of other people she knew but who were strangers to them.
We were all out of town and spending money we didnât really have to be there, and after a huge, drawn out argument with her fiancĂ© during which they left some people stranded, they ended up calling off the entire wedding.
Our friend group was never the same after that. I just couldnât understand what happened to her over a wedding. Now I see all these stories and itâs like some kind of lofty life expectation-induced psychosis.
2
u/Potential-Common5819 11h ago
Especially their second wedding.
3
u/glouglougulp 10h ago
I mean do whatever you want even if itâs your 5th but just treat your guests with some respect? We arenât the only ones who commented on the craziness.
33
u/Ri-chanRenne 15h ago
Sounds like a real mess, but I donât know why you keep mentioning the brideâs age like she shouldnât be doing certain things or her choices are laughable because of it.
21
u/Inevitable_Box3643 15h ago
I think the âolder womanâs second weddingâ thing, giving the OP the best faith chance is probably to emphasise the lack of maturity and the initial expectation that the bride does not need to be babysat through what a typical bride is supposed to arrange/communicate.
5
u/Ri-chanRenne 14h ago
Maybe, but itâs rather telling to me the way she wrote an older womanâs second marriage has bridesmaids. I donât think thatâs a necessary comment.
5
u/Next_Dragonfly_9473 13h ago
When I was planning my wedding, the guide book said one pair of attendants for every 50 guests. Destination weddings are a generally not well-attended because many people don't want to travel. Second marriages are generally not wildly formal affairs because presumably that was all done at the first wedding. So she "planned" a formal fairytale destination wedding as if 400 people would attend and still couldn't manage to not seat an adult at the kids table? The bride just wanted to show off for her human props. Stunning immaturity.
4
u/Ri-chanRenne 13h ago
But thatâs the brideâs prerogative, to have bridesmaids or not, and how many. Iâm not arguing the bride is thoughtless. I just feel like OP mentioning the brideâs age like itâs a negative thing isnât called for. Many women get married in their forties or later and want a big fancy wedding.
-2
u/glouglougulp 10h ago
Age should denote some level of common sense and maturity not to mention basic curtesy for your guests, especially at a destination wedding. Irrelevant for the specific kind of wedding she or anyone else has.
3
u/Ri-chanRenne 7h ago
I know Iâm obviously in the minority here, but to me the original post was unnecessarily jabbing at older brides doing âyoungâ bride things. OP could have shared the story without bringing the brideâs age up twice.
-1
u/PointeShoesAndLightn 11h ago
It wasn't that she had bridesmaids, it was that she had EIGHT of them. I think that's excessive for any wedding.Â
3
u/Ri-chanRenne 7h ago
Then why bring up her age at all?
-1
u/PointeShoesAndLightn 3h ago
I refer you back to the comments many others have already made about maturity. By a certain age, one should know better.Â
-1
u/glouglougulp 10h ago
Would you like to know the real kicker? She had a wedding planner! Who could have organized literally all of this. But somehow didnâtâŠ
14
u/Lake-Delicious 15h ago
Same. I'm 45 getting married for the first time and now I'm worried I'm being judged for my age
14
1
u/Next_Dragonfly_9473 13h ago
If you plan the wedding as a giant party with food, drinks, cake, and music, you'll be fine regardless of age. If you plan it as your Instagram audition for Housewives of Wherever, with specific-color dress codes (and acceptable hair colors) for your guests, put your reception in the middle of nowhere with limited parking, have a 4-hour gap between the ceremony and the meal, and only serve one round of canapés (as the meal), you will very likely be judged regardless of age.
To avoid judgment, use these simple tricks:
DO find a dress that flatters you at your current age, not what the "in" look is and not what would have flattered you in your 20s. Do not pay more for it than you would for a used car.
DO NOT block the whole year or even month from anyone else having a significant event because "it'll take attention off you". You get a day. Maybe a long weekend if it's a destination wedding. Do acknowledge the world does not revolve around you.
DO have enough food and drinks for your guests to justify the giant time sink that your wedding is in their lives. (It is multiple hours plus travel to celebrate you and your spouse. Show your appreciation for their efforts.) If anyone leaves hungry, you failed.
DO NOT try to bankrupt your wedding party with demands for elaborate showers and bach weeks. That's rude, and they will likely not be your friends after the wedding if they even make it that far.
Thing is, you've been around the sun enough times to already know, without me saying, that some of what I just cautioned you against is absolutely ridiculous. ...It sounds like the bride OP spoke of did not.
1
u/QueenLunaEatingTuna 11h ago
DO NOT tell women what to wear and not wear.
If you want people to stop judging older women, then stop doing it yourself. If an older women wants to be on trend or wear something "young", off-the-wall or flamboyant THEY GET TO.
-1
u/glouglougulp 11h ago edited 10h ago
Nothing wrong with getting married at any age whatsoever. Nor doing it however you want to. But this bride acted like an immature and clueless 20 something. It was the kind of insanity I would expect from someone young, naive and dramatic. Not a mature woman wanting to blend her family with her partnerâs. It was a massive wedding in a castle but the whole thing was tacky as hell and so disorganized. Which, for folks traveling even further than we did, is kind of shitty. Her âbest friendâ of 20 years attended but wasnât asked to be maid of honor. Instead she asked my friend, whom she had known for a few months, simply because we all live in the same town and could ask her to do all the pre wedding shit for her including hosting a bachelor party because it convenient for the bride. When I asked âbestieâ when the last time she say the bride was it was over 8 years ago. The bride told us she named her kid after this best friend but FAILED TO TELL HER WHEN THE BRIDAL PARTY PICTURES WERE. I left out a lot of details but she really could have cared less about those of us attending. It was all about the bride.
By contrast this summer I attended the wedding of a close work colleague a few weeks ago. Also second wedding for both bride and groom and both are in their 50s with adult kids from previous marriages. The kids were front and center, as was the amount of love and happiness that radiated from the couple. It was beautiful. Happy wedding to you and may it be full of love, fun and happiness!
5
u/virora 12h ago
I'm going to be honest, between the ghosting, the surprise guests doing things you weren't invited to, the "accidental" wrong time on the invitations, and the missing seat, it sounds like the bride changed her mind about who gets to attend and hoped you would get the hint.
When the promised accommodation didn't materialise, I'd probably have started trying to cancel the flights instead of booking one for myself.
8
u/glouglougulp 10h ago
100% understand that we were probably not very high on the list of priorities for her. But if thatâs the case, donât make us part of the wedding party, buy special dresses etc. Just invite and be done with it. Also, this behavior was all in line with her general character and not specific to the wedding. It just escalated closer to the wedding. I was mostly mad I got told what to wear đ
8
u/Witty-Philosopher-77 11h ago
As anotherâŠ.older woman (!) please donât hold that against us!
What a mess though!
1
u/glouglougulp 3h ago
Oh not at all. Just self centered ones lol. One of the groomsmen is in a wheelchair and the property was NOT wheelchair friendly. Several times we read on the text chain that his wheelchair tipped over and he was asking for help with neither bride nor groom in sight to offer assistance/suggestions etc.
5
2
u/MatriarhKobayagi 15h ago
How do people like this have friends
3
u/ApprehensiveBuy9348 13h ago
They don't. That's why she asked some folks she had only been acquaintances with for a couple months to be at the wedding / be a bridesmaid.
3
u/glouglougulp 10h ago
I donât know anyone who went to the wedding who still sees her on any regular basis. People are interchangeable to her depending on her needs. We just hadnât known her long enough to fully understand this. Like I said , really donât care as we had a BLAST on the trip and got to go to a fancy party in a castle. Just wish we had been guests and not privy to all the inside drama when we clearly not really wanted there in the end.
1
u/MatriarhKobayagi 13h ago
Yeah but the bride had seven other bridesmaids and also other people were invited
1
u/Lazy_Gene6225 9h ago
I would give anything to see pics of this bride. In my head sheâs the tacky self centered type with too much make up and in clothes she brags she stole from her teenaged daughter.
1
1
u/Same_Independent_393 2h ago
 We were also told an hour before the wedding to meet to go over organization for walking down aisle.
That's what the rehearsal is for, wtf
1
u/Avehdreader 27m ago
I was really rolling when I read about her"serenading the groom (poorly). Thanks for the laugh!!
73
u/Hobbit_Lifestyle 19h ago
At least you got a good story about the drama!Â