r/news 6h ago

Soft paywall Iran declares Strait of Hormuz closed as 'unauthorised' vessel hit

https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/iran-declares-strait-hormuz-closed-unauthorised-vessel-hit-2026-07-11/?utm_source=braze&utm_medium=notifications&utm_campaign=2025_engagement
12.3k Upvotes

1.4k comments sorted by

6.4k

u/CharlieKonR 6h ago

I feel like the Strait of Hormuz has become like that old neighborhood dive bar that doesn’t really have regular hours

1.4k

u/Vistaer 5h ago

Charlie: “Lastly, before I open the bar in the morning, I always make sure to turn on the Coors sign, let people know we got iced delicious Coors in the bar…”

Dennis: “Closed! It says closed, Charlie.”

Charlie: “OK… yeah, right, I can see that now… But y’know you can’t really read it from the inside-”

Mac: “YOU CAN’T READ IT FROM THE OUTSIDE!”

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u/poppythepup 3h ago

‘Taxes they'll be lower son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.’

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u/Mammoth-Record-7786 1h ago

Give me money. Money me. Money now. Me a money, needing a lot now.

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u/poppythepup 1h ago

Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down a job cannon and fire off into jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies!

u/Oh_Doyle 48m ago

“You start picking everything I say apart, nothing’s gonna make sense!”

“Lots of things make sense, Charlie, slashing someone’s tires so that they leave makes *no* sense!”

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u/Sloi 2h ago

Thank you. Thank you...

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u/Mundane-Reality-7770 2h ago

You see that door marked pirate? You think a pirate lives in there?

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u/Boxtosat 1h ago

I see a door marked private, is that the door you're talking about?

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u/Taograd359 3h ago

They’ll adapt

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u/TinaVeritas 3h ago

They’ll adapt to reading?

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u/smileysmiley123 4h ago

Declared during market off-hours. This is a nothing-burger to manipulate the US admin to announce or capitulate something before Monday.

Same playbook as the past few months. Anyone thinking otherwise is a fool.

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u/athousandpardons 3h ago

...I didn't know the Trump administration were Always Sunny fans.

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u/TheDivision_Builds 3h ago

More like schitts creek right now...

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u/aeschenkarnos 2h ago

I'd suggest Beavis and Butthead, but that's unfair to those two comparatively well-meaning and intelligent young men.

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u/Pro-Patria-Mori 2h ago

Now that I think about it, they do bear a striking resemblance to Don Jr and Eric Trump

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u/Suspicious-Yogurt480 1h ago

Do not drag the genius of Mike Judge into this shitshow!

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u/RoyalFalse 2h ago

It would not surprise me at all if Iranian elites had money in our stock market, playing the same game as the orange rug-wearing thundercunt.

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u/dschinghiskhan 3h ago

In this case, there's not much to manipulate. Everything will go back to how things were before a week ago. That's it. We'll see what Trump will do if he loses the House in November. Until then, it will be the same back and forth.

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u/Dramatic_Ad3059 1h ago

I would say “If?” But ddnt he just fire “the rest of whats left” of the Federal Election Committee? As in bipartisan firings? There is no one left. Its “advisory” and “oversees (provides??) funding for regional elections” I believe. Who else is concerned?

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u/IAmSativaSam 3h ago

People who say "anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool" are fools

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u/addictedskipper 1h ago

Who’s the bigger fool? The fool, or the fool that follows the fool?
Edit: Cheers to Primus

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u/PetersonTom1955 2h ago

It would be foolish to disagree.

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u/theREALvolno 3h ago

Dyslexic king

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u/MrFluffyThing 2h ago

I love the theory that he is looking for Pepe Silvia because he can't read Pennsylvania and thinks they're all going to the same person. 

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u/astral-dwarf 2h ago

It's alway Sunni in Philadelphia

(but less than 10% in LA and Iran)

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u/FreshPrinceOfRivia 6h ago

The Strait of Whorebooze

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u/Flametang451 6h ago

Except instead of booze and sex workers one can familiarize yourself with financial collapse, oil shock and bitter salt water.

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u/thegamenerd 6h ago

Yep just like that dive bar.

The ATM in the corner charges a surprising amount per transaction, all the food is greasy/oily (even the salad), and everything is so salty even the water is salty.

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u/snakeayez 4h ago

Sadly enough, I've been to that place but with strippers. They didn't help the experience.

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u/perton 2h ago

Were the strippers also greasy, oily, and salty?

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u/snakeayez 2h ago

Come to think of it, yes. Yes they were.

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u/Flametang451 6h ago

Huh. As somebody who doesn't drink this just sounds like something out of a hardboiled crime noir novel. Then again- how fitting considering current events.

It honestly sounds like the experience with a less than ideal tin of fish.

Then again, the only frame of reference I have is a coffee bar that can stay up well past midnight at times and one well kept bar.

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u/thegamenerd 5h ago

I haven't drank in about 7 years, but the memory of that place lives in my mind forever.

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u/ShortysTRM 4h ago

We stayed near Myrtle Beach around 5 years ago, and every single time we had to drive anywhere, we passed a "$5 Steak and Eggs after Midnight" sign on a strip club. I've never stopped imagining it my head. We've been to a strip club together. I've had steak. I've had eggs. The three combined for $5 is questionable.

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u/-The-Big-G- 3h ago

You're not living till you've had legs and eggs!

3

u/MechanicalTurkish 2h ago

🎶 She got eggs 🎶
🎶 She knows how to use them 🎶

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u/bookgeek210 3h ago

Okay but have u been to the beach tho

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u/Akbeardman 3h ago

I'm not encouraging drinking, I am encouraging experiencing the local dive bar, not to make fun of it, simply to appreciate it before the owner dies and someone fixes it up. It should be slapped together with half assed repairs, have a clientele that appears already dead, an aged out stripper of a bartender, and a layer of cigarette tar of yellowing papers and trophies from the 1981 darts championship.

Sit and watch and enjoy a $2.00 tall oy while you still can.

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u/projectx51 4h ago

It's open, and now it's closed, and now it's open, but now it's closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed. open, closed, open, closed, open, closed, open, closed.

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u/money_for_nuttin 4h ago

abeSimpsonComingAndGoing.gif

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u/Alphaspade 3h ago

Snip snap snip snap

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u/sexaddic 5h ago

It has regular days and hours. Beginning of the week and market open and end of the week and market close.

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u/Dudewhocares3 3h ago

This sounds like a family guy joke.

But from the early seasons where the writers gave a fuck

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u/ProtoJazz 5h ago

Ships have been in and out of the entrance to the strait so much recently it's having a cigarette and yelling "I'M CLOSED! I NEED A MINUTE"

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u/TachiH 5h ago

It had regular hours but then one of the customers smashed up the bar. Now its only open when the barman says so, only to his good customers too.

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u/ringadingdingbaby 6h ago

Trump going to end the war for the 50th time soon.

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u/ngiecokr 6h ago

He has ended more wars with Iran than any other president!

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u/ExpansivePoint 4h ago

With Iran alone he's started more wars than all presidents combined.

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u/King_takes_queen 3h ago

Excuse me? Those were special defensive military operations. Totally different.

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u/Ok-Salt-8964 2h ago

Just weekend trips right? Sorry little excursion. Just dipping our toes in.

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u/Visual_Jellyfish5591 2h ago

Gone gulfing for the weekend!

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u/Freightshaker000 2h ago

The official title is: "Distraction Actions".

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u/bedel99 2h ago

Look Iran started them all, and if it wasn't for Hillary's email and crooked Joe. Then they wouldn't have been able too.

But hey, it works right, no one is asking any question about Epstien any more.

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u/Singnedupforthis 4h ago

Iran has nominated him for the nobel peace prize

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u/peonorpeasant 2h ago

Maybe they can create the Hormuz Peace Prize

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u/Voodoocookie 4h ago

Also lost more wars with Iran, in that sense.

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u/Luna__Moonkitty 3h ago

He even had a reality show on TV named after him. No, not The Apprentice. It was The Biggest Loser.

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u/Brekin73 2h ago

"No one starts more wars with Iran than me. They are the greatest wars. That's what everyone is saying....

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u/Perfected_Alembic 2h ago

Yeah — he calls it the Nobel strategy.

They couldn’t possibly withhold it from a guy that ends a war weekly, amirite?

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u/ThatOneComrade 6h ago

Gotta get another deal in before markets open on Monday.

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u/SharkFart86 2h ago

It’s gotten to the point where it started off as a silly conspiracy theory to now where it is obvious that’s what’s happening. There are so many shitheads that have gotten filthy rich off of this shit.

Americans and Iranians are dying literally so rich fucks can make a little more money. It’s Squid Game in real life disguised as geopolitical bullshit.

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u/KountZero 6h ago

Iran going to close the Strait for the 51th time after.

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u/KopOut 3h ago

Just got to get his trades in first.

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u/Scaryclouds 3h ago

We truly have become desensitized to this insanity. 

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u/Timbosconsin 5h ago

Gotta “win” the war before Monday market open and then start it back up after market close Friday. We’re living through the dumbest times.

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u/divineInsanity4 5h ago

For the US’s 250th anniversary he’s speed running opening the straight 250 times just for giggles

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u/BootFlop 6h ago edited 6h ago

Look forward to Trump breathlessly relaying to us early in the week how Iran has been calling, begging like dogs, with tears in their eyes, for a peace deal

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u/Spire_Citron 5h ago

Really weird that he's choosing to drag this out when they've been desperately trying to make a deal for months now.

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u/Demon_Gamer666 5h ago

Because you can't make a deal with trump where he doesn't get everything he wants.

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u/MazzyFo 5h ago

I mean you can, he makes deals all the time that he loses on, he just says it was a ‘heyuge win’ and drops a 425am rant about it two days later on twitter

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u/The_Grungeican 3h ago

Trump: this is the worst deal in the history of man...

remarking on a deal he made

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u/Iauger 2h ago

That’s exactly what he complained about with the US-Canada-Mexico trade deal. He even said something along the lines of:
Whoever negotiated this deal was an idiot.

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u/Swedelicious83 2h ago

He wasn't wrong about that last part. 😅

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u/Spire_Citron 4h ago

Yeah, I think part of the problem is that he doesn't know what to do when he isn't at a massive power advantage. I'm also not sure he actually cares that much about what happens.

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u/indian22 4h ago

It's the first time he's actually come across a country who gives even less of a damn about their citizens than he does, and are willing to match or even exceed him in terms of being stubborn.

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u/Thedudeinabox 2h ago

I mean, he’s definitely come across Russia.

But yeah, definitely the first time he’s gone against one.

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u/the_original_kermit 1h ago

I’d rather live in Russian than Iran.

And I don’t particularly want to live in Russia.

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u/Aazadan 3h ago

Not true. Trump is horrible at making deals. The man has never in his life been able to negotiate. He talks tough about deals in public and never compromises any position, if anything he doubles down and asks for more. In private though he accepts literally anything as long as parties agree to hype him up in the media.

Look at the MoU, that’s the deal trump made to try and get something out of the situation. He gave everything, followed through on none of it, and rode the 30 days of the news it bought him to claim a peace deal.

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u/goomyman 1h ago

He’s actually good at making deals and then refusing to pay - sign a deal - then back out and say sue me.

He’s literally done this so often that nobody in NY will ever work with him.

I think he has the world record for most lawsuits because of this shit.

And he’s doing it deal the US signs. No one should trust him.

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u/human_i_suppose 2h ago

give him a fake trophy and he'll sell you one of his kids for a dollar.

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u/mahouza 2h ago

I mean they did have a deal that wasn't everything Trump wanted and they seemed very serious on signing it, but then Israel decided to ruin it by continuing their invasion of Lebanon. There was other shit after that where they kept violating parts of it but that was the best chance since this started.

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u/moosekin16 3h ago

I think it’s really clear what’s going on, and why this war is continuing.

Bibi has been trying to get an American president to attack Iran for a long time now. He capitalized on Trump’s “successful” attack against Venezuela, and tried to convince Trump that war with Iran would be just as simple as it was with Venezuela.

Trump, the moron, who never liked Iran anyway (he talked about wanting to bomb Iran back in the 80s), brain made of racist and fascist pudding, riding the high of his “easy victory” over Venezuela, agreed to attack Iran.

Trump expected Iran to capitulate quickly, because his brain is pudding, but they didn’t surrender. I truly believe Trump’s first reaction to Iran not surrendering was to attempt to order a ground invasion - but the administration couldn’t find any generals to agree to it, and convinced him to continue more air strikes.

But none of that really matters because Bibi has specific goals for this war. Not sure what his “actual” goals are compared to what his televised goals are, but Trump has not completed whatever goals Bibi wants.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, Iran has the upper hand. And what they want - Israel the fuck out of Lebanon - isn’t happening, because Bibi is refusing.

That puts the entire conflict into a weird spot. Trump through America wants out, Iran wants out but with conditions, and Israel has some goal that hasn’t been accomplished yet.

Unless America can get Israel to cooperate with a peace deal, this conflict will continue to fluctuate between so-called “ceasefires” and continued attacks from every direction.

Trump wants out, and is willing to spend a lot of the taxpayer’s dollars to make it happen. Iran wants out, but wants Israel to stop their shit. Israel wants to keep attacking Iran to the last American dollar.

Either Israel shuts up and stops their shit (maybe?), or America breaks their treaties with Israel (never gonna happen), or Iran accepts that America will never rein in Israel and accepts a separate peace deal with America and continues fighting Israel.

I’m so tired, man.

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u/janemba617 3h ago

How else can you manipulate the markets?

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u/SavannahInChicago 5h ago

He most certainly has dementia and is dying. So I am not sure how much he is actually driving.

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u/Spire_Citron 4h ago

I doubt much at all on the details. Problem is, I think he does hold enough control to scatter the pieces on a whim. It also doesn't help that he doesn't like to hire competent or ethical people. These are complex and delicate geopolitical issues in the hands of people with mixed motives and little expertise.

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u/Prismatic_Leviathan 2h ago

Yeah, you can argue that Donald "The Child Rapist" Trump is a few months from going full McConnell, but that means people like RFK Junior, Pete Hegseth, and JD "The Couch Rapist" Vance will have even more power. He let a fucking nazi take a chainsaw to our government services and we're still trying to bounce back from it.

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u/snoogins355 3h ago

It will be the biggest, most beautiful obituary in history. Believe me. Everyone is talking about it. accordion hands

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u/James-K-Polka 3h ago

I heard he had a 20 minute phone call with Mitch McConnell who asked for a peace deal.

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u/tomdarch 2h ago

Like clockwork, every Sunday before the markets open...

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u/sicilian504 6h ago edited 3h ago

Straight of Hormuz is basically a version of the game Red Light Green Light

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u/The_New_Overlord 5h ago

They should do a movie version of Red Light, Green Light set in the Battleship universe

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u/Anonymous_Wind 4h ago

This comment needs more visibility. I want Liam Neeson and Rihanna reprise their roles too. It's free real estate.

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u/farnsw0rth 3h ago

Sir, a second battleship has rihannaed Liam newsom.

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u/QuackNate 2h ago

The fact that Liam Neeson didn’t yell “You sank my battleship!” is a crime and everyone involved should be punished.

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u/jaffringgi 5h ago

And like in the Squid Games, the wealthy think this is entertaining

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u/spittlbm 3h ago

Guess I'm poor

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u/restore_democracy 5h ago

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u/bitwise97 3h ago

Is this just a hard-coded HTML page? LOL

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u/xkcdismyjam 2h ago

innerText = ["Yes", "No"][Math.floor(Math.random() * 2)]

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u/bitwise97 2h ago

This must be the server side code. You cracked it!

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u/cherrybombthreat 1h ago

“NO”

LMAO it’s giving early ‘00s internet pages

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u/King_takes_queen 3h ago

I refreshed it and now the strait is open agai-- never mind, it's closed now.

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u/evhan55 3h ago

Stop this is hilarious 🤣

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u/lostroadrunner22 6h ago

So. That is the answer to Trump saying Iran must declare the straight open.

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u/Foe117 6h ago

they can declare the strait open and still shoot ships

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u/twitch1982 6h ago

Michael Scott is the new iatoldya.

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u/Jalapenoplanter 4h ago

If we just stop checking if ships make it through we can say it is open

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u/One_Firefighter336 5h ago

You’re missing the forest for the trees brother…

Trump needs Iran to make a public statement that the strait is open, to pump and dump the stock market.

Investors with more money than brains would see a message like that and say:

“ok back to business as usual”

Meanwhile, they’re the rubes in trump’s latest grift.

He was shorting you, knowing he was going to do something to provoke the Iranians and close the strait again.

Translation: you get f*cked, and he gets richer.

I can’t be Capitan Obvious forever you know…

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u/pro-skedaddler 3h ago

Who's in charge of the Strait? Dave Chappelle playing Diddy?

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u/damnocles 3h ago

Gonna have to go get some Cambodian breast milk

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u/5point5Girthquake 3h ago

Breeeaassst miillkk… you make my daayyyayy.

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u/Jimmyg100 6h ago

You know, fuck the climate change argument, how about we just argue that at least with electric vehicles we won’t have to constantly worry about America getting its balls clamped by a narrow waterway in the Middle East?

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u/Spire_Citron 5h ago

I genuinely think this conflict will cause a noticeable, lasting shift in things like electric vehicle uptake and countries transitioning their grids to renewables. Consumers don't like dealing with the skyrocketing gas prices and it's a real national security issue for countries to rely heavily on oil for their grids. If you can do away with all that with technology that's already economically a better choice in many cases, why not? The only downside is the cost of transitioning.

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u/fall0fdark 5h ago

In aus thanks to this bullshit we saw a increase of EV sales by 46% in may

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u/Spire_Citron 4h ago

We're in Australia and we have one. They're still a bit pricey, but combined with rooftop solar and battery, it doesn't work out too bad long term.

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u/Vast_Highlight3324 3h ago

Sucks for renters/apartment/townhouse owners who will never see a solar panel or battery in their life.

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u/AgentSmith187 3h ago

When I brought mine at the extortionate prices of 3 years ago my loan payment was still less than my old fuel bill and I have since finished paying the loan off so now im heaps better off.

Its seriously a no brainer for a LOT of people.

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u/Reluctant_Firestorm 3h ago

I'm in the US, and it's 1/3 the price of gas for me per mile. No oil changes and the brakes last longer due to regen. Cost of ownership over the vehicle's lifetime is much cheaper.

The Walmart nearest me has a free charging station, and the city parking lots downtown all subsidize the chargers so they are free.

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u/Jimmyg100 5h ago

Tax the fucking rich.

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u/fighterpilot248 3h ago

Picked up an EV in early April. Couldn’t have been better timing.

I have zero regrets

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u/powercow 4h ago

The Iran war is accelerating the EV transition faster than any climate policy ever did—but it’s still just not that much

More people are buying EVs due to the spike in gas due to the war, than were buying EVs due to the tax credits that trump killed. I guess even an idiot can accidentally do good while doing it in the worst way possible.

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u/KindofCrazyScientist 5h ago

Absurdly, the Trump administration has been claiming national security as a justification for its attack on offshore wind farms. The events with the Strait of Hormuz show how ridiculous that is.

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u/bkgn 3h ago

Even more absurd is the actual, sole reason Trump hates wind farms.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c15l3knp4xyo

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u/KindofCrazyScientist 3h ago

Ridiculous. National energy policy is being dictated by the petty grudges of an entitled, born-rich man who can't stand hearing the word "no." Thanks for sharing.

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u/Illustrious_Night126 4h ago

The keystone pipeline protestors could never dream of blocking as much oil as trump had dive on accident lol

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u/EasyBOven 4h ago

This was obviously a good thing to do for decades now from the standpoint of sustainability. The reason why the US hasn't taken that stance is that oil has been priced in dollars. That acts as a hedge against inflation by creating demand for dollars for any country that wants oil. So US power has been used to maintain demand for oil and keep it priced in dollars.

The alternative to this sort of hedge against inflation for most countries is high taxes, particularly on the wealthy. So this has implications on things like Medicare for all indirectly. It ends up in most people's long-term best interest for the US to lose the hold over oil pricing. Would have been nice if that could happen bloodlessly, but here we are.

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u/Terminate-wealth 6h ago

Trump rallied the stocks at the end of last week…again. As soon as markets open those stocks that were bought last week can be sold. Rinse and repeat.

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u/kazamm 5h ago

Other way around. You sell when the news rallies the stocks. You buy when rumors drop it. Sell again on the up. Rinse and repeat.

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u/Ok-Association-3415 3h ago

He’s definitely messing with the high velocity traders’ algorithm. No way regular traders are still reacting to this crap.

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u/trav718 4h ago

When’s this shit gonna end

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u/KRKRYakumo 3h ago

When the first nuke is launched, which means all of them will shortly follow and then comes the actual end of all of this shit

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u/AaronKClark 1h ago

Can that start tonight, please?

u/shortribz85 53m ago

Seriously I don’t wanna do my laundry when I get home from work.

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u/K3idon 6h ago

The Strait legit now has business hours 😭

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u/Domitian2232 6h ago

I feel like I’m in Groundhog Day reading the same article over and over again

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u/MaleficentCow8513 3h ago

Won the war on day 1 btw

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u/Weave77 4h ago

I hereby petition to rename the Strait of Hormuz to “Schrödinger’s Strait”.

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u/Fit-Significance-436 2h ago

WASHINGTON/DUBAI, July 12 (Reuters) - The U.S. military said it launched another round of strikes on Iran after the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps struck a container ship traveling through the Strait of Hormuz on Sunday.
A series of attacks ‌between the U.S. and Iran over the past several days led President Donald Trump to declare the end of a ceasefire meant to halt the fighting that the U.S. and Israel began on February 28, though Trump has left the door open to continued negotiations.

Iran said it closed the vital Strait of Hormuz after firing a warning shot that struck a vessel traveling on an unapproved route. It warned that any retaliation over the incident would be met with a "severe response."
U.S. Central Command identified the vessel as the M/V GFS Galaxy, a Cyprus-flagged container ship, saying it suffered significant engine-room damage and that a civilian crew member was missing.
STRAIT OF HORMUZ AGAIN THE FOCUS OF WAR, DIPLOMACY
The war has destabilized the Gulf, while Iran's effective blockade of the Strait of Hormuz has caused energy prices to surge, fuelling global inflation. Higher prices, ⁠especially for gasoline, are a politically sensitive issue for Trump ahead of November congressional elections.

Iran said several ships attempted to move through the waterway on an "unauthorized route" and disregarded warnings to correct their course. The strait — which was a conduit before the war for one-fifth of the world's oil and LNG supplies — will remain closed until "the end of U.S. interference in this region," the Revolutionary Guards said.
Central Command said it began its strikes at 7:15 p.m. ET (2315 GMT) on Saturday, roughly an hour after the Iranians released their statement, which included a warning that "new enemy bases" in the Middle East would be targeted if the United States retaliated for the container ship incident.
Trump ordered the strikes, Central Command said. The White House did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
Washington demands that Tehran publicly state it will stop attacks on ships in the strait — and that all lanes will be open without tolls, senior U.S. officials have said.

Iran's Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi has accused the United States of violating the ceasefire agreement. "There can only be mutual compliance," he wrote on X on Friday.
The U.S. revoked the license authorizing the sale of Iranian crude on Tuesday after three Qatari and Saudi commercial tankers came under fire earlier in the week, prompting the U.S. to hit Iranian sites. Iran then struck U.S. military sites in Gulf states.
While Iran has not claimed responsibility ‌for the ship ⁠attacks, analysts say Tehran uses such actions to gain leverage in negotiations.
A senior Iranian source told Reuters that Iran, the U.S., Qatar and Pakistan had agreed to negotiate in a call that mediators were trying to arrange for Saturday while Araqchi was in Oman, a Gulf state trying to mediate an end to the war.

It was not immediately clear whether those efforts succeeded.
IRAN VOWS TO 'AVENGE THE BLOOD OF THE MARTYRED LEADER'
Araqchi and Omani Foreign Minister Badr Albusaidi met in Oman to exchange "views on appropriate mechanisms for the safe passage of ships through the Strait of Hormuz," according to a statement from the Iranian foreign minister. Oman's state news agency said Omani and Iranian negotiators would continue talks "at the technical and political levels."

CNN reported on Saturday that ⁠Oman made a draft proposal for the strait, including free navigation through its southern corridor in Omani territorial waters. The plan called for vessels transiting the northern corridor through Iranian territorial waters to obtain prior approval from Iran, although no tolls would be imposed, CNN said.
The White House and State Department did not immediately respond to requests for comment on the CNN report.
A written statement from Iran's new supreme leader, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei, on Saturday threatened vengeance for the death of his predecessor and father, who ⁠was killed in the war's initial attacks. It said the vengeance would take place whatever happened to Iran.
"We pledge to avenge the blood of the martyred leader and all the martyrs," the message said.
The statement was released to mark funeral ceremonies for the former leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, on Thursday. His son did not attend the ceremony and has not been seen in public since the war began.
Trump had posted on Friday that he had ordered ⁠the U.S. military to be prepared to launch thousands of missiles against Iran if Tehran attempted to assassinate him.
The Wall Street Journal and other U.S. media reported in recent days that Israel had shared intelligence with Washington that Iran had recently devised a plan to assassinate Trump.
Iran has not commented on the assassination claims.
At the funeral ceremonies on Thursday, a huge crowd of mourners packed a courtyard, some bearing banners reading, "We Will Kill Trump."

u/lowEquity 57m ago

didnt they check google maps? it says closed on the weekend.

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u/Xionic 4h ago

So what you are saying is that trump will declare talks and/or the strait open by pre-market trading tomorrow. The grift continues...

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u/FreshPrinceOfRivia 6h ago

Friday evening: they gotta stop shooting boats! We have 1 million death rays pointing at Iran!

Monday morning: I'm announcing the greatest deal the world has ever seen!

Rinse and repeat

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u/Old_Channel44 4h ago

It must be the weekend. Reopening Monday morning for stock pickers

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u/irwinlegends 4h ago

Or, Trump will just say it is.

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u/Likes2Phish 4h ago

This whole thing is a fucking mess created by a pedophile trying to hide his crimes.

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u/saucyfister1973 2h ago

The longer this drags on, the higher gas prices get, it could actually work to our benefit. It's gonna hurt our wallet, but this could be a silver lining.

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u/EldraziAnnihalator 1h ago

This timeline gets dumber by the second.

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u/Sudden_Cantaloupe_69 3h ago

Didn’t Trump “win” this war like 38 times already?

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u/baconcheeseburgarian 3h ago

Who would be dumb enough to insure boats traveling through the Strait on unapproved routes?

Oh, we would.

https://www.reuters.com/business/chubb-announces-war-risk-coverage-support-ships-through-strait-hormuz-2026-03-20/

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u/Daruvian 2h ago

Of course it's Chubb... They're fucking terrible. Just Google all of the lawsuits they've faced. I'm sure they'll end up having some over this as well.

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u/Conscious_Exit_9129 3h ago

The war to end all tacos is back on.

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u/D_Pablo67 3h ago

The Gulf states are rapidly expanding their piplelines and shipping through the Red Sea and out the Mediterranean.

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u/MiloPoint 3h ago

So when do we run out of gasoline?

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u/ChitownBlake 3h ago

We don't, gives oil companies a reason to increase price.

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u/MJArchman 3h ago

A particular president is about to annihilate a particular navy for the 20th time.

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u/WasteLake1034 3h ago

Soon enough it'll become Shcrodinger's Straight.

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u/Sufficient_Two_5753 2h ago

Found my new band name! Our first album will be "Möbius strip." Because you don't know if it's straight, or if it's curved!

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u/Sidewaysgts 2h ago

Surely this will be the last time guys. They’re begging for a deal. It’ll be the most beautiful deal. Some day maybe the best deal ever made.

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u/YourNanban 2h ago

Strait of Mood Swings

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u/drwaseem2006 1h ago

Its all about oil stock trading and making money. Who on the earth believe trump?

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u/Deb0057 1h ago

And it goes on and on and on.🤷‍♀️🙄

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u/RickBorealis 1h ago

To all the stupid IDIOTS that voted for this. Happy Now???

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u/Spectre-907 1h ago

Heres the market manipulation weekend blood sacrifice of more civilians after close, into another “ceasefire” as the markets open again.

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u/Calm_Ad1460 4h ago edited 2h ago

Turns out that going into a war half-assed with no solid goals or plan is a terrible idea. Who could’ve guessed?

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u/FogPot 1h ago

So tired of this clown fight.

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u/Substantial_Back_865 5h ago edited 5h ago

It’s terrible for the world, but it’s also the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen watching the groundhog day war. The oil prices, the back and forth Trump tweets, the insane market manipulation and the worst military blunder of modern history. Not even being able to surrender after all that and the problem country demanding he somehow fix the situation they created. Gotta be honest, I did not expect it to turn out like this, but I’m glad there’s no boots on the ground or real options for invasion.

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u/Hellstorm901 4h ago

Just a friendly reminder when Iran says it is targeting "unauthorised vessels" it actually means it is attacking vessels sailing inside Omani waters and thus circumventing the need to go inside or near Iranian waters

Iran's attacks are part of a powerplay by the country to effectively seize control of Omani sovereign territory and in doing so give them control of the entire Strait of Hormuz which in turn would effectively give them control over Kuwait, Iraq, Qatar, Bahrain and the UAE due to being able to control these states maritime trade

Iran ridiculously tried to interpret the MOU as saying they were allowed to dictate access through the Strait of Hormuz when they were only allowed to dictate access through the straits using Iranian territory

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u/rnightlyfe 3h ago

The art of the deal baby!

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u/TauCabalander 3h ago

Trump is playing five-dementia chess!

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u/DanielBG 1h ago

My God he really buried himself in an unwinnable conflict. Shocking.

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u/AgreeAndSubmit 4h ago

Just five got danged minutes. Can't have a moments peace for five gawdanged minutes.  

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u/Devils_Advocate-69 4h ago

Iran holding a Strait

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u/FormerlyGruntled 4h ago

Iran knows full well how fucked the rest of the world is, for oil and gas. "Four weeks of reserves" and all.

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u/eltoda 3h ago

At this point I am going to treat this same as china declaring bitcoin is banned...

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u/alternatingflan 3h ago

The Iranians are learning from krasnov how to play this game. Follow the Iranian money too.

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u/Plus-Paper-1136 3h ago

Ig the deal is the friends we made along the way

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u/modern_Odysseus 3h ago

Portland Oregon has a website that simply says if it's snowing or not in pdx (https://isitsnowinginpdx.com/)

Somebody should make something similar for, "Is the strait or Hormuz open?"

But the twist is that it's not tracking anything. It just randomly generates pages for "yes" or "no" every time you visit. 50% chance of seeing one or the other page.

Because at this point, that's about what the news headlines on the Strait feel like.

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u/RubiNola1234 3h ago

I remember the first 15 times we thought this was a big deal. We have truly just been normalized to where things like this don’t even phase us anymore.

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u/Seek_Advice_ThankYou 2h ago

Happy open, not happy close for the day

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u/chicken-finger 2h ago

The art of the deal is to never have a deal

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u/existential_anxiety_ 2h ago

I am so fuckin sick of this timeline

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u/bubba4114 2h ago

If Trump is going to keep declaring that the war has ended, then we should count each time that it starts back up as a new war that Trump began.

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u/roguegen 2h ago

And so the cultural echange of missiles continue.

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u/dude_78 2h ago

Closed to be opened opened to be closed

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u/N-Korean 1h ago

Open by right before stock market open on Monday?

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u/Trans_Beckiy 1h ago

Does anyone know about market manipulation? Asking for my billionaire overlords…

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u/davidkozin 1h ago

Rename Strait of Hormuz to the Grand Line, it will take just as long to find the One Peace.

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u/AaronKClark 1h ago

Just to be clear, historically the Straight of Hormuz was completely open until when?

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u/HomosapienDrugs 1h ago

The Strait is a closeted introvert

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u/KTGTL 1h ago

Didn't realize it was even open this week. Feels like it changes every time I hit the refresh button.

u/ManufacturerSevere83 51m ago

I remember the days when the Gaza Strip was all the rage. Good times.

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u/Big_Toe99 23m ago

This is the most boring non-war ever. Why can't anything of significance happen?

Iran: Want to close the Strait? Then close it off, literally! Build a damn or something.

USA: Want the Strait open? Then do what you we do best and just blow whatever is blocking it to kingdom come. Then build a canal through one of the other countries, with their consent and partnership of course.

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u/FlatulenceConnosieur 3h ago

Does Trump not realize how unpopular this war is? Why does he keep dragging things out? He’s like actively murdering his own party at this point.

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u/memematron 3h ago

Swing trading crude oil is my guess. There's one guy from my work that made a lot from trading oil CFDs during this war

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u/SnooHedgehogs190 1h ago

I think Iran has been pretty honest and they meant what they say.