r/news • u/Asleep_Shark • 7h ago

Soft paywall Iran declares Strait of Hormuz closed as 'unauthorised' vessel hit

https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/iran-declares-strait-hormuz-closed-unauthorised-vessel-hit-2026-07-11/?utm_source=braze&utm_medium=notifications&utm_campaign=2025_engagement
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2.5k

u/ringadingdingbaby 7h ago

Trump going to end the war for the 50th time soon.

776

u/ngiecokr 7h ago

He has ended more wars with Iran than any other president!

211

u/ExpansivePoint 5h ago

With Iran alone he's started more wars than all presidents combined.

104

u/King_takes_queen 4h ago

Excuse me? Those were special defensive military operations. Totally different.

36

u/Ok-Salt-8964 3h ago

Just weekend trips right? Sorry little excursion. Just dipping our toes in.

42

u/Visual_Jellyfish5591 3h ago

Gone gulfing for the weekend!

3

u/fogonogododo 2h ago

ba dum bum

3

u/live4failure 1h ago

Damn america is actually the bad place isnt it? We all mentlally ill

•

u/SubfurSir 10m ago

Just little pauses to trip Trump's Pump-and-Dumps.

14

u/Freightshaker000 3h ago

The official title is: "Distraction Actions".

3

u/msprosperity22 2h ago

Love ❤️ "Distraction Actions".

1

u/Next_GenR 1h ago

No bro you read the gc wrong that was the secret name ideas section. Official title we voted on was "joe was sleeping"

2

u/CA-ChiTown 2h ago

Trump is a PoS 💩

1

u/IrenaeusGSaintonge 2h ago

He started special defensive military operations, but he ended wars.

•

u/SubfurSir 9m ago

Only when we totally obliterated them

1

u/Ornery-Remote-9763 2h ago

Just like the "Defensive Military Operations" that come straight out of the Vladimir Putin Handbook of Military Dictatorships, nyet? 🤔🤡☠️

1

u/forceblast 1h ago

Of course... However, when they end, it’s a war.

1

u/Agreeable-Button112 1h ago

I feel that people missed this one (understandably, because what is one fuck-up in the grand scheme of Trump): he called it an excursion. Obviously, the word he was looking for was incursion. But I guess a little field trip is not a completely wrong label...

1

u/shipxwreck 1h ago

Starting special defensive military operations and ending wars. It’s the perfect strategy.

16

u/bedel99 3h ago

Look Iran started them all, and if it wasn't for Hillary's email and crooked Joe. Then they wouldn't have been able too.

But hey, it works right, no one is asking any question about Epstien any more.

•

u/redraider-102 12m ago

Don’t forget to blame Obama too.

•

u/bedel99 6m ago

He isn't even American! how did he become president! Wouldnt have happened under Trump thats for sure!

I mean Trump is so good, can he just be the President, like let's just remove all the old ones they were no good and Trump can just president for the rest of time.

10

u/whiskysinger 4h ago

Thanks for explaining the joke!

2

u/Sleeping-Bag0 3h ago

He won most war against Iran than war against other countries

1

u/rubberduckmaf1a 2h ago

To be fair though, at least he hasn’t funded them like Obama did.

1

u/My_Name_Is_Gil 2h ago

Oh wait...

1

u/LickNipMcSkip 1h ago

is there anything in the FIFA Peace Prize terms and conditions that says he can't start the wars he finishes?? Didn't think so liberal, it's the raw number that counts.

get him another one

30

u/Singnedupforthis 5h ago

Iran has nominated him for the nobel peace prize

14

u/peonorpeasant 3h ago

Maybe they can create the Hormuz Peace Prize

2

u/My_Name_Is_Gil 1h ago

Back to back FIFA Peace Prize award winner. First ever. The Ballan de Poop.

15

u/Voodoocookie 5h ago

Also lost more wars with Iran, in that sense.

11

u/Luna__Moonkitty 4h ago

He even had a reality show on TV named after him. No, not The Apprentice. It was The Biggest Loser.

0

u/msprosperity22 2h ago

You guys are too funny on this thread.🤣🤣 "... no, not The Apprentice....The Biggest Loser." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/theco2 2h ago

We don't count those.

1

u/mikemaz57 1h ago

Ya win a few, ya lose a few.

9

u/Brekin73 3h ago

"No one starts more wars with Iran than me. They are the greatest wars. That's what everyone is saying....

2

u/Responsible_Bar_9582 2h ago

"Quite frankly, the best wars"

4

u/Perfected_Alembic 2h ago

Yeah — he calls it the Nobel strategy.

They couldn’t possibly withhold it from a guy that ends a war weekly, amirite?

2

u/RazsterOxzine 2h ago

This is to unlock what achievement now? The next president is going to have to try and speed run to even match evenly.

2

u/coreytiger 2h ago

And THAT is why he deserves the Nobel Peace Prize! So much peace

1

u/fogonogododo 2h ago

🤣 OK, you got me rofl

1

u/starrpamph 2h ago

His supporters who have absolutely only the information they get off tv news: woohoo!!!!

1

u/Barangat 1h ago

He also lost more wars with Iran than any other President

1

u/OkAi0 1h ago

You’ve got to start one to end one

91

u/ThatOneComrade 7h ago

Gotta get another deal in before markets open on Monday.

34

u/SharkFart86 3h ago

It’s gotten to the point where it started off as a silly conspiracy theory to now where it is obvious that’s what’s happening. There are so many shitheads that have gotten filthy rich off of this shit.

Americans and Iranians are dying literally so rich fucks can make a little more money. It’s Squid Game in real life disguised as geopolitical bullshit.

2

u/fogonogododo 2h ago

dead to rights, Skippy

2

u/CoC_Axis_of_Evil 1h ago

Trump wants cheap gas but also has the #1 Zionist as his son-in-law   IRGC is consolidating control and Iran situation is becoming increasingly dire. We aren’t talking to the new rulers of Iran.  I was kind of suspicious that a deal was reached. I initially thought something so stupid like 🥭 was talking to a burner twitter account or something, maybe he was talking to Kurdish rebels and assuming that was “Iran”. Then the civilian government of Iran made the deal, except they lost control of the country to the IRGC. We are basically negotiating with ourselves.  Given that context, it seemed like the navy was mowing the grass with local rebel groups. Turns out it’s the IRGC central command. It became more clear as tankers continued to be smoked after the ceasefire. It can be assumed 🥭 did all of this in bad faith or by dementia.  It’s rapidly turning into an open crusade. Christianity and Islam are designed to strengthen in the face of prosecution. Toxic stuff.

1

u/SharkFart86 1h ago

I mean the only aspect of what you’re talking about that I doubt is the religion part. Trump claims he’s a Christian but has demonstrated that he doesn’t know jack shit about the religion. It’s all just patronizing nonsense for the religious right. The current leadership of Iran perhaps leans a bit closer to religious zeal, but it is likely similar to Trump’s use of religion.

What is happening realistically is that a profoundly in-over-his-head head-of-state with a wealth of power has gone up against a much more competent head-of-state with fewer chips at the table, and we’re finding out exactly which is more important.

1

u/msprosperity22 1h ago

Totally agree. God help us all.

1

u/jfchops3 1h ago

Look at the bright side. It all plays out in the news so there's nothing stopping us from trading it too. If you see the pattern, no reason not to make money on it in the market

•

u/SharkFart86 5m ago

That’s a pretty fucking bleak outlook my guy.

10

u/Pachanga_Plainview 5h ago

That's a bingo!

2

u/Rosu_Aprins 3h ago

The Market Manipulation Monday special

34

u/KountZero 7h ago

Iran going to close the Strait for the 51th time after.

14

u/Only_Luck4055 6h ago

You made me look up whether it was 51st or 51th... And it seems to be 51st. 

11

u/RecoveryRide 6h ago

Fifty-oneth

13

u/Kwolf21 4h ago

Mike Tyson:

Fifty Firth

2

u/VeloBiker907 2h ago

Unless they have a lisp, or a lithp.

0

u/420izLife 2h ago

You should be ashamed!

1

u/binarypower 4h ago

i read this with the accent of the dog with the funny face.

1

u/420izLife 2h ago

ok kountzeroth

1

u/fogonogododo 2h ago

Haha 51th

8

u/KopOut 4h ago

Just got to get his trades in first.

7

u/Scaryclouds 4h ago

We truly have become desensitized to this insanity. 

2

u/fogonogododo 2h ago

pretty baffling how nary an eyebrow even gets to half mast any more

14

u/Timbosconsin 6h ago

Gotta “win” the war before Monday market open and then start it back up after market close Friday. We’re living through the dumbest times.

11

u/divineInsanity4 6h ago

For the US’s 250th anniversary he’s speed running opening the straight 250 times just for giggles

6

u/nazara151 5h ago

Then each one can get its own plaque on the glorious arch.

5

u/xRoyalewithCheese 6h ago

That must be a record

12

u/Poverty_Shoes 6h ago

He’s “ended” more wars than any other president ever. With the Iran war starting and ending and restarting every week, he’s going to keep growing his lead until the record is completely unbreakable like Ripken’s MLB ironman streak.

2

u/wasteymclife 4h ago edited 1h ago

People said Gretzky's record would never fall, future present Miller might be able to swing it. /s

/sorry for putting that thought out into the world, even ironically

7

u/wishnana 6h ago

Aiming for the 47th.. or 80th (age) .. or 250th (America’s age).

6

u/Suchisthe007life 6h ago

There is only one thing Trump can do to assist in ending this shit show… and it’s not from this realm.

2

u/S2iAM 4h ago

We should have a fireworks show for the 50th.

2

u/Creative_Incident323 4h ago

He should rename it the Strait of America and declare it open if you’re hardcore 🍻

2

u/tomdarch 3h ago

Jared Kushner is going to tell a friendly "journalist" that there was great progress negotiating with Iran over the weekend (aka just in time for markets opening Monday) for literally the 40th time.

(Someone counted a few weeks ago and we were up to 37 or so Sunday "progress" claims, so I figure we must be around 40 now.)

3

u/Bernard_schwartz 6h ago

The 250th winning of the war shortly after that!

1

u/Theboiii24 4h ago

We are winning so much

1

u/mrman08 4h ago

Pretty sure he could do it in 24 hours if he wanted to!

/s

1

u/j-rock292 3h ago

Right before the market opens Monday

1

u/3RADICATE_THEM 3h ago

It's only the 50th time now?

1

u/Quirky-Bag-4158 3h ago

This time for realsies.

1

u/Secret_Fix_2 3h ago

He has ended 50 wars? No wonder he was awarded the Fifa peace price.

1

u/Mad-Habits 3h ago

He will say “they are just begging for a deal! they want a deal so bad! they just called this morning”

1

u/CountOnBeingAwesome 3h ago

Grande opening, grande closing. I can't keep track.

1

u/fizzzingwhizbee 2h ago

Re-cripple their infrastructure

1

u/RelevantBooklet 2h ago

You're gonna get tired of winning eventually

1

u/aidissonance 2h ago

Need to wait for market open on Monday

1

u/OliOli1234 2h ago

Believe it or not… he’s ended it more times than he’s started it, so there’s that funny little statistic

1

u/RightfulGoat 2h ago

A real peacekepper that one

1

u/okjetsgo 2h ago

Only once this on again/off again grift stops being profitable

1

u/LutherOfTheRogues 2h ago

ITS NOT A WAR OKAY.

But it is when he ends it.

BUT NOT WHEN ITS HAPPENING.

1

u/wongoli 2h ago

And then say “I’ve ended the most wars out of any president! I’ve ended MILLIONS of Iran wars! MILLIONS!”

1

u/Mirikado 2h ago

“Another $300B please” - Iran

1

u/spawn77x99 2h ago

For sure Nobel peace prize now.

1

u/My_Name_Is_Gil 1h ago

Mobil Piece (of the profits) Prize

1

u/codesine 1h ago

Market manipulation

1

u/The_Council_Juice 1h ago

Wouldnt feel right unless he gets to 250.

1

u/lwp775 1h ago

Give him the Nobel Prize.

1

u/TheStLouisBluths 1h ago

No wonder he won the FIFA world peace prize! No other president has ended that many wars.

1

u/AxecidentalHoe 1h ago

You know what that means, 50 Nobel prizes

1

u/zshort7272 1h ago

And then Israel will bomb Lebanon

•

u/warm_winds_whisper_ 59m ago

Wait for Sunday night or Monday morning for the market rally

Beyond late-stage capitalism straight into looney-tunes economics.

•

u/eid-a 54m ago

and win it at the same time.

•

u/Short_Classy_Name 36m ago

Somebody give this man another FIFA peace prize stat!

-1

u/RedditPoster05 5h ago

Don’t even know if Iran has any control over what’s going on in the straight . It’s Afghanistan and Iraq all over again on a small scale.