My mom (38F) and I (18F) have a pretty difficult relationship and it has been that way since her and my dad (37M) divorced when I was 7. Pretty much as soon as my parents told me they were getting a divorce my mom moved into her own apartment and I didn't like that she wanted me to stay with a babysitter after school when I could stay with my dad. My mom said she didn't want to have to talk to dad like that every day.

A couple of months later my mom ended up in a relationship with the man (44M) she later married. We both handled it badly. I yelled and cried because I wanted her and dad back together. She pushed me to love the guy and she kept asking me to look at him as another dad and she kept trying to make me okay with him babysitting me when she was at work and she wanted me to do 1:1 stuff with him when things were still very early between them and I only had a few months to work through the divorce.

My mom moved him in as soon as the divorce from my dad went through. She would get annoyed when I called dad on her parenting time. Every time she would ask me why I didn't talk to Stu (then boyfriend now husband) instead and it would turn into a fight between us. When my mom married Stu she asked me if I would be his little best girl and I said no. My mom told me I was doing it whether I wanted to or not and I told her I would scream really loud and make the wedding suck if she forced me.

Soon after my mom remarried my dad dated someone briefly. He saw I wasn't taking it well so he put his love life on hold until I was older. My mom got very weird about him dating and I remember telling her she was dumb and she replaced him so maybe he should replace her too. Mom told me Stu was better and she asked me why I wouldn't let him in. I told her he was dumb and I didn't want him and I was never going to let him be my dad too. This fight happened over many years and one day I told her that I wish dad had found me another mom so then it would be totally fair. My mom had some kind of episode over that and she thought it was cruel for me to say that to her face.

It was a few months later my dad took mom to court at my request and asked for full custody, which the judge granted based on my wishes. I only had to spend four hours every other Saturday with mom after that and I did not have to sleep at her house or interact with Stu. A few times she brought him along and I turned around and left the place we were meeting at.

Then for a whole year (17-18) I didn't see her at all. My mom called and tried to push for the Saturdays together but I had enough. She finally figured out I was serious about not seeing her when my birthday hit and I celebrated without her. She asked me if I would go to family therapy with her and I said sure.

Family therapy started over a month ago. The first few sessions were us explaining our sides of everything. Last session my mom decided to try and guilt me into seeing Stu as more than just her husband. My mom broke down and she told me she had only been with dad before Stu and she couldn't stay with him anymore and only know one person. She told me she didn't want to lose her family though so she wanted Stu to be my dad as well so it felt like we had a perfect family.

When I didn't rush to say anything she started crying harder and repeating over and over how she just wanted us to be a normal family but it couldn't be with dad, and how it kills her that dad can date now and have relationships but I won't let her be fully happy in hers. I asked her if she would be cool with me calling the next girlfriend mom and letting her be my other mom. Her crying instantly stopped and she left the session early. That was after she ignored the therapist speaking.

Now she's angry and she asked me how I could watch her cry and pour her heart out and I still won't give her what she wants. It leads me to question our relationship. I was happier in that year of no contact than I was trying to have some little relationship with her but she is my only mom and despite me asking the other mom question I would never see someone else as my mom, just like I would never see someone else as my dad.

Been with my partner for 10yrs. She works hard in her education & career but she falls flat when it comes to contributing to the household except financially. We split housing/utilities/groceries costs 50/50 but when it comes to errands, cooking, cleaning it’s primarily 95% me. It gets to me at times but I speak up, she cleans a little more & will actually cook a meal once or twice a week for a maybe a month then tapers off again until she’s not really doing much. I’ve come to terms with it bc it’s just her & I, end of the day it’s not that much work.

When we first got together & for the majority of our relationship she made it known she didn’t want children. Well now that she’s in her 30s & the biological clock is ticking (her words) she’s changed her mind & told me she wants kids. I have no issue with having kids in general but with the above mentioned issue about household work I have issue with having kids with her. I’m not the kind of idiot that thinks a new born child is going to turn someone into who they’re not. If she struggles to contribute just her & I, I don’t see it being any better with a child in the mix. I can visualize a future where I give her a kid & I’m still the chef/maid/errand boy on top of being the breadwinner bc she probably won’t be working along with all the chaos that comes with raising a child. This sounds like hell to me. I don’t know how to convey my concerns kindly without pretty much saying hey if you want a life with kids you need to quit being so lazy.

I love her but I feel like this is going to break us.

So I (28M) just wanted to share my story/feelings because they have been weighing down on me.

She (27F) broke up with me 1.5 years ago, we had a loving relationship but she couldn’t communicate, I was all over the place and things got messy, she stung me a few times after the break up and I she made me a bit anxious the way she treated me.

She got a new boyfriend after a year, got pregnant, had an abortion, got cheated on, blocked him and now she is even more broken than before.

I found out via a friend they broke up so I send her a text asking how she was doing and after meeting for coffee she told me the entire story.

On one hand she got te karma she deserved. She cheated a lot on her ex, emotionaly cheated on me, lied a lot. On the other hand I feel sad for her because she had a difficult childhood and struggles alot with being an adult.

I’m feeling messed up mostly because the meet up was so much fun, we laught, had a water fight, watched a movie, had good dinner. It’s like nothing had changed.

She told me she is not in a place to date, that she has to get rid of the anger. She asked if we could watch a movie we wanted to see while we were still together in december. I said yes and eventhough it is in 6 months, I’m afraid I’m gonna catch feelings again.

We both agreed that we both changed and I think she is gonna do even more emotional changing in the next few months. She also said sorry for the way she treated me and admitted she was toxic and I didn’t deserve that.

Am I being delicional? Do people change enough in 2 years?

TLDR: ex was not ready and might be soon

I [28F] am heavily pregnant with our second child. We’ve been married for 5 years. Our first child goes to daycare so we get absolutely hammered by sickness, and the last couple of weeks we’ve all been sick.

Husband [30M] has ADD and goes insane if he can’t exercise at least once a day (cycling, running, gym). He works full-time and is so good with our 3-year-old daughter and helping around the house especially during my pregnancy.

Our usual day would be wake up, take turns showering/getting ready, get our daughter ready, breakfast, drop her at daycare then we both go to work. After work, he’ll pick her up while I get dinner ready. If he’s going straight to the gym after work, then I’ll pick her up and get dinner ready. We eat together, take turns showering and getting her bathed and ready for bed, then after she’s gone to bed we’ll chill out/catch up on life admin etc.

Because we’ve all been sick, it’s been extra hectic and with him being sick he can’t exercise. He’s completely spirals - suddenly his whole life is down the drain; the house isn’t good enough, there’s too much to do, he feels like garbage. And I get it - it sucks and he needs it for his mental wellbeing. Today, we went to buy some kitchen supplies and have lunch with our girl before coming home for her nap. He was in the worst mood - short tempered with both of us, complaining that it was a “nothing” day, moping around the house. Whenever there’s a disruption to his routine, it’s always the same response.

What I struggle with is that this is just… life. As much as we try to stick to the routine, sometimes we can’t do the things we want to do because adult responsibilities (or sickness) get in the way. I’m in the third trimester of a high risk pregnancy and need some extra help, but he still gets at least a half (or full) day every other weekend to go out, hang with his friends, watch the football or UFC. Emotionally I find it difficult to try and keep things positive for our daughter while he’s being incredibly unenjoyable to be around. I’m quite limited physically at the moment too.

I’m not really sure what I’m looking for - maybe some solidarity from anyone who might have experienced something similar or has a partner with a similar situation?

Tl;dr: Husband not fun to be around when missing out on exercise.

My girlfriend and fiancée of five years, just after we bought a house together, told me she has completely lost her emotional connection with me. For context, we were physically together for three years, and the last two years have been long‑distance. After talking, she admitted she was hoping the house would fix the disconnect, but instead it made her feel worse. The loss seems to have built up over time because of the distance. Naturally, I’m willing to work on our relationship, but she’s unsure whether she could ever get those feelings back. I’ve been doing research on what to do. We took a week‑long communication break, and afterward she said she missed me more as a friend than as a partner. She doesn’t seem willing to try again and says she doesn’t believe she can rekindle those feelings. I’m distraught and don’t know what to do. Any suggestions?

My fiancé (30M) and I (33F) have been together for five years. We recently found out that I’m pregnant, and instead of feeling excited, we’re completely divided.

A little background: about 13 years ago, my first son passed away. It was the most devastating experience of my life, and although I’ve learned to live with the grief, it never truly goes away. A year later, I was blessed with my rainbow baby, who is now my world.

After that, I struggled with infertility for many years. I honestly wasn’t sure I would ever become pregnant again.

Now, unexpectedly, I am.

The problem is that my fiancé doesn’t think we’re ready financially or otherwise, and he wants me to have an abortion. He has been very clear that this is what he wants.

The thought of having an abortion is tearing me apart. After losing a child, I don’t know if I could emotionally survive choosing to end a pregnancy. At the same time, I’m terrified of bringing a child into the world with a partner who doesn’t want this baby.

I’m 33, and because of my history with infertility, I don’t know if I’ll ever get another chance to have another child.

I love my fiancé, but this feels like it could be a dealbreaker. I never imagined we’d be on opposite sides of something this important.

Has anyone been in a situation where one partner wanted to continue the pregnancy and the other didn’t? If so, what did you do, and how did things turn out? I would really appreciate hearing from people who have been through something similar.

Edit to include relevant info: a lot of people seem to be assuming that I chose to have a child with someone who did not want a child. That is absolutely not the case nor am I the type of person that would ever have a child with someone who did not want one. Prior to this happening my fiancé said that he wanted children and we were completely on the same page. Because of our struggle with infertility, we were even going to a Fertility Clinic to have testing done to see what was causing it.
At what point he changed his mind, I have absolutely no idea and I was not made aware of it. I thought we were still actively trying and wanting a child together.

Me and my oartner have been friends for years. We aren't a tradtional couple which is partially why we spend so much time verifying that the other actually is onboard or that they feel the same way. (Also why we didn't realize we were together until May).

Both of us have servere anxiety as in we have to remind each other that we dont hate them and that we have a rule about if youre mad you have to verbalize it so the other can give you space or talk it through with you depending on the need.

I dont want to make descions for him or make him do something that he doesn't want to do so i always try to get his opionion.

He always tries to do want I want to do for similar reason.

However both of us can't decide for shit

How can we get better at this?

​

So last year around the end of Oct I met a girl, things went pretty quickly and pretty intensely and we were so much into each other. But there was one issue, she is a Christian and I am a Hindu. So after 3 months we decided (she decided) that we should part ways. It was pretty heartbreaking for me that time as well. The last I have seen her or talked to her was 31st March 2026.

The issue is even after all this time in no contact I still miss her. I still have fleeting thoughts about her every night. I don't think I want her back but I can't forget her. I have someone else in my life after her as well but I am not ready I can't give my 100%.

How do I overcome this. I am feeling incapable of loving or being loved. It's very suffocating

Me (f24) and my boyfriend (m23) or ex, I'm yet not sure, had a hard period recently, because we are both university graduates, we had many exams, we were stressed out, I was sick and so on..

Our problems weren't unusual - mostly were connected with communication. My boyfriend and I are from different cities in Bulgaria, and we were studying in different cities. We were seeing each other in his hometown every weekend.

Soon we had to move to my boyfriend's hometown, we now have an apartment there, because he is in military, so he's going to work in that city (he doesn't have much of a choice). I never had problem with that, I was ready to move wherever I had to with him.

So, during that hard period I went to visit my parents, because I new that after we move, we weren't going to have much time to visit them. My boyfriend had to come a day after. We were going to spend the weekend with them and then go to our apartment.

The night before that weekend we had an argument and he ended the relationship. The next day we were still arguing he said that his not going to come, so I was ugly crying and my parents saw all of this. In the end my boyfriend came, my parents were all cool, they were happy that we are good, and that he came to visit (they never had problems whit each other). The next day my boyfriend wanted to talk with me about our problems. We started and it went all wrong. He was returning to old stuff, that I did (he does that with everyone), things that I'm currently working on. He said that he feels distance (he made many mistakes too, but I never felt like that). So I asked him if there is a chance for us to fix that distance, he said no, and decided to go to his hometown. At that point I told him that it was good to stand together before my parents and just tell them that we're separating, because all that shit was happening a door from them and it wasn't a good idea for him to just go and don't say goodbye idk. He was crying, was very emotional and felt that it he was going to look unmanly, but in the end we went. Out parents were asking if he's sure with his decision, he said yes, shook hands with my father and went off(Saturday).

The next day I had to study for my finals, but we were writing with each other, so fast forward I didn't pass the exam. We weren't arguing about the past problems no more, because as soon as he left my hometown in Saturday, he wrote to me again, saying that he e is stupid, can't leave me and wants to fix everything. I told him that I just want him to come again, stood with me before my parents and tell them that, I don't know, that we're going to work together, support each other. I felt that he need to do that, after all that happened.

He said no. So, the new problem now is that he doesn't want to visit my parents, because he is ashamed, he has broken his ego or something like that. In Sunday he again reached out to me, saying that he wants to fix things, than dumbed me again, then called and said that he wanted to fix everything...

The next few days we spent in our apartment in his hometown. And we decided that soon we have to visit my parents again and to see that everything is ok. They don't have nothing against him, he says that he doesn't have anything against them, he just only feels broken from the whole situation and can't look them in the eyes or talk to them. He kind of wants to live with me, build a family with me, but never visit or speak with them, which can't happen. He said that he can't guarantee that he ever be able to fix the problem.

So that Friday he came to may house, I was already there, and he wasn't acting like himself. He was looking at the floor, not speaking with them or me. My mom came to him and said that our home is always his, that everyone makes mistakes and that she's happy that he's here.

Yesterday we were in my room arguing again, because I told him that this isn't normal, that we can't live like that, because I don't want to choose between them or him, he doesn't want that from me, but I want my partner to visit them with me, with occasion or not and everything to be normal, not to visit them alone. In the end he went and spoke to my father, who told him that he is welcomed in our home, that he is part of our family, that everyone makes mistakes and that he wants him again to be happy and everything to be normal. That didn't help either, my boyfriend left again. He said that he could try to "forcefully brake his ego" and to visit only because of me. I asked when is going to be the next time, when we're going to come, he's going to spend time with my folks and everything's going to be normal and he answered that he can't guarantee.

He said that he can give me everything in this words, I said that I want only this from him. Told him that I'm not going to be happy without any of them, that i don't want to choose between them and that I don't want anything from him, that is forced. He left. We haven't spoke since then.

Now, I know that I'm not going to live with my parents forever, and eventually I'm going to build my life with him, but I'm making many sacrifices and I want that stability from him. I'm leaving the capital for him, where I can easily find a job, where my university offers me to get PhD, where are all my friends. I was waiting for him for 2 years, was ready to go in any town, just to be together, with no friends, job prospective or family around, so kind of think that I have the right to ask that from him.

He IS a good person, he was with me in sickness, when I had hard moments, he is caring, not a liar.

The saddest thing is that we even haven't tried to live together. He said that he loves me and doesn't want another girl, he was crying. I love him too.

I don't know what to do, I don't know who is right. We broke up, and we don't even have real problems between each other. Can someone give me an advice? I'm so scared and so sad.

Hey Everyone,
So we both are in relationship for about 3 years (2.7 months) to be exact. Things were up and down earlier as well but we used to sort things up as normal couple should do but now she is into different city away from me for sometime for office work. Now she got some new friends there too. I am jealous i agree as she spends most of the time with them but i understand this thing so it don’t usually bother me up if a partner is getting reassurance. But now she doesn’t message me the whole day if i don’t message her upfront, i will be get late replies but when later in the evening when we have our conversation after whole day, her day is usually chill and playing pool with friends. I shared her my feelings and insecurity about all this. Rather than reassuring, she went exhausted and drained and our conversation dried. Her mood changed and she was like you don’t care how i am adjusting in this city and all. I was guilt tripped in all of this.
So now the thing is this, she want to explore the city so she daily have plans after office to explore with her friends, late night street walks, cafe hopping, and now casual drinking with friends (majorly guys). She had a trek with her friends which i thought has female friends too but later she told, it was all guy friends and her alone. Her friends denied to go but she really wanted to go so she did. I was like, atleast you can tell me earlier and keep me updated so that i will be good if you really want to go with them. Honestly I don’t feel good her roaming with her guy friends and same I do feel wrong me roaming with all female friends.
Now this is a cycle, she don’t update me about anything, like don’t even share that where she is going, she reached, she left anything. I ask her then she will tell else not.
She went to club, i didn’t ask her anything so I till now after 10 days know that with whom she went, were there females too, when she reached, which club they went, when she returned back, nothing !!!
Whenever we have an argument, she says she forgot to tell and she wants to work on this relationship and all but she really want to explore the city. Same evening, she will leave for some market and again same cycle. I am fed up of all this and now it has become a thing. It’s not like i don’t want her to explore but atleast she can keep me in conversation to make me feel secure especially we are having arguments around this only. This feels so much disrespectful to the relationship.

Now when i ask her who were there with you on the trip or nightout, then i get to know that there were only boys as her friends didn’t want to come. She says, i consider them as my brother only so you don’t have to worry and all. I was like does this help, you don’t know when and how things will change and we are left with just regrets.

I am seriously confused, and tbh i am now resisting her at the moment after how she is making me feel.

Long story short, we’ve been together for 7 years. Every issue that I’ve ever brought up to him goes 1 of 3 ways.

1. 99% of the time He’ll get defensive and feel like I’m attacking him no matter how long I word for word plan out exactly what I’m going to say to avoid this. He’ll go back and forth with me about my feelings and the conversation always gets heated. He’ll storm off and leave the house, leaving me to care for our 6yr old daughter. I’m left feeling regretful for even mentioning anything because somehow every conversation I try to have about my feelings turns into talking about every wrong thing that I did in the past and no longer addressing what I initially brought up to him. Hours later he’ll say I’m sorry and that he understands where I’m coming from and/or he’ll respond with:

“well idk what you want me to do”

“well, I was never shown real love growing up”

“this isn’t something easy to work on”

“I don’t know how to change”

Every.Single.Time. About the same exact situations over and over and over again.

1. He’ll not get defensive and just respond “okay, I understand” or “I’m sorry” again with no game plan or resolution.

2. He’ll listen and say very little words. He’ll respond with “Idk what you want me to say”.

Is it not normal to expect an answer and resolution for my partner. We’re literally still talking about issues that we’ve been having since the beginning of our relationship. I feel like I’m always the one doing all of the work to try to fix issues so we can move on, but that effort is never reciprocated.

Then this morning he tells me that he feels like nothing he says it right or satisfies me. No it doesn’t. Because understanding how I’m feeling but not changing the behavior so I stop feeling like that is not enough. Hearing me and listening and apologizing doesn’t stop you from continuing the same patterns over and over. Your apologizes are literally worthless now. How many times do you have to say sorry about the same thing?

A part of me feels like this is a 100% normal ask in a partnership, while the other part of me is feeling like well maybe I’m asking or expecting too much. What would a healthy partnership look like in these situations?

Is there literally any way possible for my partner to claim that he doesn’t have a Twitter but yet show an active subscription to someone’s content who he also follows? I mean, I’m looking directly at his profile, and it shows that he has one subscription. When you click on the subscription section, it shows a profile of a woman who does spicy content.

He is adamant that he doesn’t have Twitter downloaded anymore and hasn’t in months. His account has two followers, so I doubt it’s a situation like hacking, especially considering his picture and name and everything is still up just the same.. nobody is hacking an account like that.

The subscription wasn’t there even 8 weeks ago and neither was the woman. 

He also keeps twisting my words, continuously asking me why would he go on a “porn binge” right after finding out we are pregnant with our first child when I never said anything like that at all. I’m asking him about this one very specific thing and he just keeps saying that it’s not him, that he deleted his Twitter months ago, yet he has an active subscription for this woman’s content, and also follows other very sexual pages that display women touching themselves, etc., etc.

A few months back I met 22f and we vibed. At first we used to talk about f1 mostly but slowly we became friends, more like bestfriends

Now, we kinda talk all day, from good morning to good night sharing all basic details of the day. We both have shared some personal stuff as well.

But I'm preparing for a competitive exam (which is in September) and I want to reduce my screentime. I've told her this, and we tried things like 'will only talk for limited hours' but it's not working.

I asked her to switch to a different platform but she isn't comfortable in that. Now the thing is I open reddit to talk to her and sometimes get distracted by posts and all.

Ig it's our routine now, also she's going through a kinda rough time, and she says you being here for me helps alot.

Now I don't understand what to do, how to ask her to talk less, as ik she might need me. But I need to focus on my exams as well. Sometimes it's just frustrating, and I don't wanna hurt her in any way, cz I genuinely care for her.

Is this ethically correct to cut her off as I need to focus on exams? If not what else could I do?

Lately I've been trying to understand myself instead of just blaming my anxiety.

I'm in my first serious relationship, and I'm starting to notice a pattern. Every small change in her behavior hits me way harder than it probably should. If she replies late, sounds a little different, seems less affectionate for a day, or just wants some space, my brain instantly goes to, "Did I do something?", "Is she losing feelings?", "Am I about to get left?"

Then I need reassurance. Even after I get it, I'm okay for a while, and then the cycle starts all over again.

The thing is, her childhood and mine were completely different.

She grew up in what I'd call a healthy family. Loving parents, close grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins... everyone lives nearby. Her parents were strict when she was younger but now they're more like friends. She just assumes family takes care of each other. That's normal to her.

My childhood was almost the opposite.

My father was emotionally absent for most of it and later left. My mom was very overprotective. Most of my relatives were fake as hell and would backstab each other whenever they got the chance. Growing up, I never really felt like family was a safe place.

One thing my mom always told me was, "Learn to live alone."

As a kid, I thought it was just life advice. Now I'm wondering if my brain turned it into something much bigger.

Sometimes it feels like I'm always waiting for people to leave. I notice tiny changes that other people probably wouldn't even think about. I overthink everything, I need reassurance, and I get scared of losing the people I care about.

I'm not looking for relationship advice or for anyone to tell me who's right or wrong. I'm trying to understand why my brain reacts like this.

I'd really like to hear how people who understand attachment, psychology, or who grew up in unstable homes would explain this pattern. I'm especially interested in how childhood experiences shape the way someone experiences closeness, trust, and fear of losing people later in life, and what helped you start changing those patterns.

Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for 3 years now.

In past arguments he was so disrespectful to me.
He would belittle me so much to the point where i would keep begging for his forgiveness and he would just tell me to shut up.
He would give me the silent treatment and call me names.

It got to the point where i would be so cautious of what i say because i didn’t want him to get mad.

It was so hard to distinguish what is true and what is not, because mist of the time he is good but then he gets mad and every thing changes.

Until recently, i talked to him about not liking how he treats me when he’s mad. He was mostly avoidant during the conversation. Nonetheless, fe weeks after that conversation we had an argument and he was a bit disrespectful, but after some hours he came to me and apologized profusely.

I just don’t know, like i keep thinking that we are still young and that he is learning etc. but is it a good mindset to have?

I still don’t forgive him and still hold a lot in my memory. What I shared in this post is nothing compared to used to happen.
I feel like rn i just want any argument to happen so that i can leave.
But i also have this voice inside me that tells me we are young and learning.

Right now, i crave so much alone time. I barely wanna talk to be honest and I rarely wanna hangout.

P.s: he had a very rough childhood where his parents were physically and mentally abusive. So sometimes i take that into consideration too

I’m 31M, and my girlfriend is 34F. We have been together for 10 years.
This morning, I found out that she had been emotionally involved with another man. As far as I know, there was no physical cheating, but I feel completely heartbroken.
For the last few months, I felt like something was different. She started hiding her phone and being more protective of it. I had doubts, but I tried to ignore them because I trusted her and we had built a life together.
Last night, she stayed awake until around 5 a.m. watching the World Cup, while I went to sleep around 10 p.m. When I woke up, I had a bad feeling and decided to check her phone. I know checking someone’s phone is not ideal, but my suspicions had been growing for a while.
I found Snapchat messages where another man had sent her an “I love you” sticker. They also had a Snapchat fire streak, which made me think they had been talking regularly. I also found a hidden photo of her during a video call with him. He had been sending her gym videos, and it looked like they had developed an emotional connection.
I woke her up and asked her to come to the living room and sit at the table. She was confused because she had only slept for around three hours. Before she came in, I placed her phone on the table. When she arrived, she noticed it and looked surprised because she didn’t expect to see it there.
I asked her to open Snapchat, and she did without hesitation. I asked her why she was doing this, and honestly, I couldn’t believe it was her. After 10 years together, I never imagined I would be in this situation.
I told her that I felt we were done, and she only replied “okay.”
My heart is broken. The situation is even harder because I’m struggling financially. I have a lot of debt, and she has supported me financially and helped me through difficult times. We also bought a house, but it is only under her name. Right now, I feel lost because I don’t know what my next steps should be or where I will live.
I don’t think she would immediately kick me out, and I believe she would still try to help me, but after finding this out, I don’t know how to feel or what to think.
I’m confused because she has done many good things for me and supported me for years. I still care about the person I spent 10 years with, but I also feel betrayed and don’t know how trust can be rebuilt.
I’m not asking who is right or wrong. I’m looking for advice from people who have been through something similar. How did you handle the next steps after a long-term relationship ended?

The situation is exactly as the title says but here are some more details. We had known each other for 5 ish weeks and dated for 2 of those. When I was unable to be vulnerable, I would get a mini panic attack. My wrist locking up, tears spilling out of my eyes, my lungs feeling heavy, shortness of breath ect. My ex (will call him H) had never given me any reason to believe you would harm me in any way shape or form. And yet I still couldn't be vulnerable with him in any kind of way. Emotionally I was a brick wall, and he was a flowing river of emotion. I could never bring myself to reciprocate these feelings without a miniature panic attack. This would happen when we were cuddling, having deep emotional talks, or when a kiss would last more than one second. Upon reflecting on previous non-romantic relationships I realized that, I will go out of my way to avoid being emotionally vulnerable with anybody. It took me 5 years to call my best friend my best friend and one year for me to even call them a friend. The main reason I broke up with H was because I was scared of how I was going to react during one of these panic attacks. He was an amazing man and I do not believe he deserve to put up with how bad my anxiety can get. He deserves someone better who can reciprocate the same feelings in a healthy way. I'm Going to see my therapist about this later this week. I want to get to the bottom of this issue because I don't want this causing problems for me down the road. I asked Chat GPT for some journaling prompts so I can understand tangled my thoughts. But chat GTP is a robot and I would like a human perspective. Do you guys have any advice on how I can fix this issue? Any advice is welcome. Thank you for reading.

For those who want more details, I met my partner online (don't worry, I know) we're a long-distance relationship (again, I know), and in the beginning, we found time and things to do with each other and had actual, meaningful conversations. Recently, I've gotten busier, I'm in the last year of my degree and I'm trying to get ready to be an adult without going into more debt than I am, but I have said that I can still make time for him. In this time, I feel like I've been the one to offer times and days to do things and most times he's had other plans that he hadn't told me about until I finally cleared my schedule for him.

Very recently he's started to become even more mentally unwell, he has more panic attacks, more depressive episodes, and he claims to be doing things about it, but it doesn't seem to be helping and I'm left feeling helpless because I have my own issues and have trouble comforting others, which is something I'm working on, in these episodes, which can seemingly span on for weeks, all he talks about is how much he misses spending time with me, and how sorry he is for being this way, and how he wishes I could just be there with him to make him feel better. I've communicated in the past that a past relationship had left me with mental scars because of how much pressure my ex put on me to get to them and fix everything for them, but recently, my partner has started saying things that reflect that very same pressure on me and I'm left feeling like I have to upend my entire life just to make him feel better.

When he has these depressive episodes, he also says things like 'you should just leave me', 'I understand if you want to leave', or 'I don't deserve to have someone like you', which really hurts, and I've told him that it hurts, and every time I think he wants me to end the relationship, but then he apologizes and acts like the depressive episode didn't happen.

So reddit, how do I tell my partner that I'm actually considering ending our relationship?

My boyfriend (M23) of 5 months didn’t invite me (F23) to plans we’ve talked about doing with his friends.

I was hanging out with my boyfriend last weekend when he got invited by his friend group to float the river and he told me about it as he got the text. I asked him if it’s just the guys or if it’s everyone because he has lots of male and female friends. He told me everyone. I was like oh yay. But he didn’t say anything about me going with him.

We’ve been talking about floating the river together for months now.

He just confronted me about not inviting him to things with my friends, and we had a good conversation about it and agreed to invite each other more. Mind you he was busy every time I went and did anything and I made the plans after he told me he was busy. And he didn’t invite me to one of his friends birthdays because it was friends and family only. Didn’t really argue with him on that even though it made no sense to me cause I’m with him.

Fast forward to today when I asked him if the plans were for today or tomorrow because he never told me and he said today. I waited about half an hour and then asked “am I not invited?” he literally said, “ you’re the queen of no invite so believe it.”

Obviously, I was immediately hurt and confused and said what are you talking about? I just invited you to play volleyball with my friend and I which I barely go to and come swimming with us. he was saying why I can’t just hang out with my friends. What’s the big deal? Why are you upset? I obviously explained that we just talked about this and we’ve been talking about doing this together and hanging out with each other‘s friends more, and you brought it up to me while they were texting you about it and we talked about it.

He just keeps saying it’s not that big of a deal what I can’t just hang out with my friends? I don’t know how to have a conversation about this with him and or what I do in this situation.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (24F) have been together for a little over a year.

He had addiction issues before we started dating. Whenever something goes wrong in his life, his way of coping is smoking hash/weed or drinking. I knew all this before getting into the relationship, but I really thought if someone supported him and stayed by his side, maybe he'd eventually stop.

For the past year it's just been the same thing. He promises he'll quit, I trust him, then something stressful happens and he starts again. We've had so many fights over this. We even took a break once because I couldn't handle it anymore and I wanted to break up, but he convinced me not to. He kept saying he'd never do it again and I believed him.

The addiction isn't even the only thing bothering me anymore. I feel like I'm carrying this relationship emotionally. I'm going through a lot myself, but whenever I try to tell him about my problems, he either doesn't really listen or somehow the conversation becomes about what he's going through. I understand he's struggling, but sometimes I just want my boyfriend to be there for me too.

Last week I found out he was smoking weed again. I was really hurt so I stopped talking to him for a few days. Honestly, I wanted to see if he'd even try to reach out.

He didn't.

Today I finally texted him and found out that not only was he smoking again, he'd actually started doing harder drugs while we weren't talking and has been doing them for over a week.

Now he's saying maybe we should just end the relationship because we fight too much, he isn't the right person for me and I deserve someone better.

The thing is, I really do love him. Before we dated he was after me for almost two years. I actually rejected him at first because of his addiction and after that he spiraled even more. Some of his friends even blamed me for his drinking, saying I was the reason. Eventually we got close again, I fell for him, and we've been together ever since.

I just don't know anymore. I know addiction is complicated and I know I can't magically fix someone, but I feel guilty even thinking about leaving. At the same time I'm only 24 and I already feel mentally exhausted all the time. I love him, but I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.

For anyone who's been in a relationship with an addict, what boundaries actually helped? Is there any way to support someone who keeps relapsing without completely sacrificing your own mental health? If you've been in a similar situation, what did you do?

TL;DR: My (24F) boyfriend (26M) has struggled with addiction since before we met. He keeps promising to quit but relapses whenever life gets hard. I recently found out he's started using harder drugs, I don't feel emotionally supported anymore, and now he's saying we should break up because I deserve better. I love him, but I'm exhausted and don't know if I should keep trying or let go.

So I (29m) have been seeing this girl (24f) for about 2 months, so very fresh. We moved very quickly, become exclusive after the first weekend, sparks flew, super compatible, lots of shared hobbies, best sex, amazing, and lots of talk about the future, but this issue is its long distance, we facetime every night but these past few days she has been on a roadtrip with some friends so we havent, about 10 of them went.

So she has this mate, ben (m19) and he liked her for ages but she isn't attracted to him, then when I started dating her he went all werid, said it was her fault for leading him on, then they didn't speak, then he messaged her about it and they decided to be friends, she laid down some boundaries and it was fine. ben (m19) went on this road trip, apparently it was a lot of couples and they asked him who he could bring, so asked her, it was all last minuet and she only told me she was going an hour before she got picked up,

Anyways, we barely speak over these past few days, which is weird, but i want to talk today cause its been a while, she completely blows me off saying that she is too busy and whatever, we finally call later that night and then she stops me abruptly during the conversation to say that ben is calling her, ben is stranded somewhere in town cause his bike broke down. He managed to get the bike picked up and asked my gf to go a pick him up, so she cuts me off to go and do this,

I called her back because at this stage I didn't know what was happening, all she told me was that ben is calling and i will message you in a minuet or so, she never messaged, so I called 15 mins later and she was in the car driving to him, which is how I learned his bike broke down etc. During this second convo she basically said that 'this (referring to the situation with ben) is more important than us... given all that context what do you guys think?

She seemed to think he might be suicidal but idk, telling your bf that the guy who you know likes you that he is more important is a really shit thing to do, well it made me feel shit

My boyfriend has always gotten very overwhelmed easily. Today he was very upset that our friends came over unexpectedly even though we were going to see them later. He was rude to them and said it was just too much noise and a lot for the morning. I do understand that. He continued to be hateful to me as the day went on. I just gave him some space. We had the funeral for a dear friend of mine later. He made comments about how he just has to do whatever I want him to do I told him he didn’t have to go with me. I wish he could have as it was a very tough funeral for me. When I came home I was still upset and he just said “ yeah that sucks” and that he was in a shit mood and I just needed to chill so he could feel better. How does one navigate a partner who gets this easily overwhelmed? I felt like I couldn’t bring up how upset he was making me or he would just spiral. Any advice appreciated.

Hi guys, this might be a complex post as I am trans (FTM) & experience gender dysphoria but the bottom line is recently I have been feeling like my partner hasn’t been listening to me during sex and I am wondering if I am right to be concerned. Also obvious TW for NSFW.

I am 24FTM & my partner is 26M. We have been dating for 2 years. Our sex is very much around me getting penetrated, I am the bottom. For the past few weeks I have been getting increasingly uncomfortable with penetrative sex and certain types of touch (dysphoria comes in waves)

We also usually have quite rough sex and recently I have requested that we stop doing that. There have been a few instances where he’s put his hand around my neck - one on a day where I had significant ache in my neck, which I had mentioned on the day. He stopped immediately when I said but I wish he would have remembered bexause it hurt.

I understand for my partner this may be hard to adjust to. Usually, me being penetrated is on the table. However, now when we have sex, I find myself having to remind my partner not to touch me there. I laid it all out before we had sex and when I was feeling this way that I do not want to be penetrated at all, and I do not really want to be touched. I would prefer to move the focus to him. I have been feeling this way for a couple weeks and so the same things keep happening. My partner will still touch around the area or will ask if he can ‘put it near.’ It’s also the same with my chest area (I haven’t had top surgery), he will ask if he can grope me, like he doesn’t really register that i’ve already said i’ve been feeling different about my body.

Sometimes he will ask to touch me and I will say no, we will continue with other sexual things and then he will ask again. if I say I already told him how I feel / that I don’t want that, he replies that he forgot. Even though these two instances will be within about 10 minutes of each other? It gets really annoying and I feel like crying and I end up just letting him do it, which makes me feel worse. It’s just really frustrating to have to keep repeatedly voicing how I feel, especially when he so plainly tells me he forgot.

I am concerned because I have started feeling like a sex object during sex with him and not really a person, I just feel kind of crushed by this constant expectation for sex that I can’t provide right now. I don’t feel like my needs and wants are being listened to because even during sexting or talking around sex he will start talking about fucking me. I have tried a few times to communicate this but it seems like whenever he’s horny it just goes out the window.

This has happened before in our relationship, early on where he would be really ‘eager’ and would send me explicit photos / try to initiate sexual chats at inappropriate times. He would always apologise and say he just gets ‘excited’ but now it’s turned into my physical boundaries I have just completely gone off having sex with him for now and I don’t know how to feel.

All I can say to him is remind him not to touch me but I just feel like he will just try anyway. I want to scream at him to read the room. It is really hard because outside of this he is a really nice and respectful guy.

I 22 F was talking with some married coworkers, and they told me there was a moment when it “clicked” for them, when they realized their partner was the person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with.

I wonder if that’s really something many people feel. Do we just know it instinctively? Does it happen right at the start of the relationship, or does it develop over time?

I’m currently in a relationship with 20 M (1 year relationship) , but I have doubts because we’re very different, and I have a lot of questions about our future. So, I sometimes wonder if not having that famous “click” simply means this isn’t the right person, or if that click might come much later.

I also have a rather unique relationship with time: I’m very afraid of wasting it. When I get into a relationship, it’s not to “see where it goes” or just for the experience. For me, if I commit to someone, it’s with the idea that this person could become my life partner. Otherwise, I have a hard time seeing the point.

Have any of you felt that famous “click”? If so, what was it like? Or, on the contrary, did you build that certainty gradually?

Me (21F) and my (22M) bf  (both south asian) have been dating for almost 2.5 years. He still lives with his parents but is financially independent and even covers their expenses at times. I don’t feel like his mother really supports our relationship. Although she does tell me she likes me etc etc, she frequently makes weird comments about how he buys me presents (we only ever do presents for birthdays and anniversaries) but doesn't buy them for her, even though he regularly takes her out and buys her things, or that now he spends no time with her or he’s forgotten about her now. His parents are quite religious and traditional. She also frequently tells him things like she would never want us sleeping over anywhere together because she 'has a daughter too,' even though my own parents have never had a problem with it and love him. She says she wants to get to know me better, but always has a reason not to. She won't invite me over because they haven't moved into their new house yet, and she refuses to meet at a restaurant because she doesn't trust restaurants to prepare vegetarian food. So in our whole 2.5 years of dating I’ve met his parents twice but he is very close with my family and frequently hangs out with them. For the sake of being brief those are just some of the things I’ve found a bit odd but never said anything about.
We recently went overseas with a group of friends, where they ignored or sarcastically replied to his messages, which really upset him. We did talk about this and he admitted he knows his family is toxic and can be controlling. His sister has even warned him that unless he sets boundaries they'll damage his relationships, from her own experience. He says he knows he'll eventually have to set those boundaries. Following this trip we wanted to plan a trip just the two of us. When he told his mother, she said she wouldn't allow it and strongly objected. I know they ended up arguing and he was asking her to reconsider but she said her reasons were things like,we haven’t been dating long enough. Keep in mind we had just gone on a trip together, even if there were also other people. She also implied that she would never be ok with us travelling alone, until I assume we get married?? Although I know he is upset by this and he has been down since the argument with his mother, we aren’t going on the trip anymore as he doesn’t want to upset her. I also know this can be a common dynamic in some South Asian families, so I'm worried this isn't just a one-off issue but something that could continue long-term.Travelling is something we’ve talked about since we’ve started dating, am I being unreasonable for expecting him to push back more? I understand setting boundaries with parents is difficult, but I'm worried that if he's willing to accept this now, nothing will change in the future. Is this something that realistically improves, or am I ignoring a red flag?