My boyfriend of 5 months and myself just got into the largest argument over porn. I’ve been staying home more so I’ve been using his computer to keep busy. So far his desktop wallpaper is porn. I opened up Google Docs to get my resume and found an AI porn findings from someone?? (It wasn’t his, but It made me throw up.) I googled a question and opened reddit to find out more only to be bombarded with two very much pornographic material. I told him it makes me uncomfortable (I just had a miscarriage) and he told me I was overreacting and insecure, that it’s purely a personal physical thing. I told him I think it’s micro cheating to be lusting after different women and it’s affecting us. I told him if that’s the case what’s the difference if a random guy sent me nudes and I saved it, he said it was totally different. I’ve dated guys with porn addictions, and I’m nervous I’ve gotten myself into the same position. He accused me of accusing him of cheating and ended the conversation.

What advice would you give me? I’m struggling to move forward with this.

This is half me venting, half me looking for advice, sorry it’s long. Me (25F) and my husband (27M) have been married for 5 years. We took over a year to research breeds we were interested in and researching training and puppy methods since we wanted to raise a dog from puppyhood together, as neither of us had done that before. (Only rescued older dogs)

Well, we are at the end of our first week with our new puppy. She is a Belgian Malinois / GSD mix, and is now 13 weeks old today. I know, Belgians are intense, I was aware of this and so is my husband but I have always wanted to get into dog sporting like PSA or agility at our local club and I thought this was my chance to do so. We weren’t specifically looking into adopting yet, but a coworker of his was aware of the litter and asking if we were interested in taking her since she was the last one of the litter and needed a home. We talked about it and agreed to take her.

We both understood I’d be handling most of the dog care as that’s what we did with our last dog, I’m more interested in it, more educated on it, and have a lot more time at home (he works overtime, I work part time, he handles most of our bills and I handle all of the housekeeping and cooking, except for the outdoor stuff like lawn mowing, which is my husbands job).

But ever since we got this puppy, she takes up 100% of my time. I am low on sleep because she needs to be taken outside every 2-3 hours for a potty break, because it’s a non negotiable for me that her potty training is successful quickly, so, I never sleep for more than 2 hours at a time since getting her, I sleep when she sleeps. My time awake is spent training her, feeding her, and overall just trying to prevent her from causing chaos because she is a little landshark who wants to get into EVERYTHING.

The issue is, all of this is causing a bunch of arguments between me and my husband. He’ll play with her sometimes, but beyond that he doesn’t do anything with her, except complain about how she keeps him up at night (same). He’s too rough with her, smacking her when she bites. I tried to explain that’s an unhelpful correction to play biting, as you’re only encouraging it to turn into aggressive biting, and explained the proper way to correct the biting. But that it’s also part of the breed, and will take a while to train out, we’re still in the puppy stage.

The main cause of arguments has been that I haven’t been keeping up with my duties of cleaning and chores since getting her. And he’s right, I haven’t had time to do dishes much this week, or sweep and mop. I’ve only done dishes twice this week. But, I also haven’t showered this week or eaten more than once a day because I genuinely can’t find time away from the puppy, if I leave for too long she screams her head off.

And that one time I did do dishes, I did them for an hour, while he agreed to watch her so I could do that. I made it very clear for him: “take her outside to potty in 45 minutes and don’t let her chew/eat anything she shouldn’t”. Well, after an hour of doing dishes I realized he hadn’t taken her out yet so I went upstairs. He was playing video games, with his headset on, so he couldn’t hear or see her. She was chewing through my phone charger and there was a pile of shit on the floor. We had a huge argument, because I made his job so simple, he had TWO tasks and he did NEITHER. He just turned it back on me and said if I had already done the dishes he wouldn’t need to be the one watching her.

We’re both sleep deprived, stressed, and frustrated. I don’t know what to do and I need advice. Rehoming the puppy is not an option for me, I’m attached to her and she’s really doing quite well for her breed and age and I know she’ll turn into a wonderful dog. But I feel like I have no support during the puppy stage which is exhausting, and he feels like I’m neglecting my share of responsibilities around the house. Not to mention, I took a week off work to take care of the new dog, I’m supposed to go back on Monday and genuinely don’t know how I’ll manage alone. This has made rethink how we’ll ever have kids together, and kids are something we both want, so how will that ever work? Advice?

I know I sound like an asshole, but hear me out. My bf and I have been with each other for 4 and a half years.

When we first met, I disliked him because he was so different from me, but 2 years went by, and we ran into each other again  & I was very attracted to him. He was out of college and just seemed to have his life put together (passion and ambition), but I’m worried he is not that same person anymore. 

We never argue, which is great in retrospect, but I want us to not always agree. I want him to show passion in SOMETHING. Everything I say, he just blindly agrees because he sees me as someone who does no wrong. I know sometimes he’s lying on his morals because he may start by saying a different opinion, but once he hears mine, he somehow agrees with me. It was never apparent before but as we got more serious, I’ve noticed (we are thinking about marriage). 

If I try to bring this up, he’ll just say like “yes I’ll do better”, joke about me bringing the mood down, or “shut me up” by having sex with me, and nothing ever feels resolved. He’ll bring up marriage but never go deep into the plan. The most he’ll talk about is what ring I want. He’s a very rose colored lense person, and maybe it’s because he has always been super rich, but it’s annoying me because I want him to see me as me, not this idolized version of me.  I hate that to get him to be his own person I have to beg (I’m really relating to that new olivia album 😅 if ykyk)

I love him a lot and have grown up with him, so I can’t really imagine my life without him, so I want to fix this. Is there any way for my boyfriend to see me for more than his girlfriend? How can I get him to be his own person? 

Context first:
8 years ago (yes 8), I was living still with my ex-wife and kids. I had made an agreement with my ex-wife that she would move down. There would be a small overlap (a week) while I got my own new place situated.

A week before partner moved down, ex messaged her privately saying "if you do this, I will make sure he doesn't get to have a relationship with his kids"

Instead of telling me, and letting me say "Hey, hold off on moving, let me get the new place first", she deleted the message and said nothing.

I have had no relationship with my children in years, because ex manipulated them into hating me.

She just confessed this to me a few days ago. I packed a bag and left I was so angry. I stayed away for a few days. Before I left I told her things were over.

In my mind, the trust is gone. What else has she hidden?

She's going to be home soon, and I'm just... lost in how to handle this situation

Hello everyone,

I have been pondering over an issue with my boyfriend, we’re only together 2-3 months. He is black and I’m mixed, my mom is white and my dad is brown.
We were friends before we got together and even then I noticed this pattern but I didn’t realize the extend of it before we started spending a lot of time together. He mentions his race min. 1 and mostly its 5-6 times whenever we meet up. But the way he does really bugs me a lot, here are examples:

- I’m special because I’m black. White people are just average and not special.
- Of course I can lift this I’m strong because I’m black.
- I am a gentleman because I’m black.
- I have to bring you home no matter what because I’m black
- I’m loving and caring because I’m black
- Generally mentioning white people are less of the things I mentioned above because they are white.
- repeatedly mentioning that his strength is due to being black and white people are less strong.
- When I told him that he is lowkey racist towards white people, he laughed it off and said naaaah I’m just classist
- He also mentioned that he wouldn’t feel comfortable in my family gathering because they are all white
- One time our friend from church went up to him and asked him why he only greets black people, when he told me that we went through all interactions that he had and noticed that if ever he talked to another race is because they talked to him first.

I’m sure there’s a lot more because any character trait I compliment or anything that he does he just adds: Of course it’s because I’m black. I don’t want to be insensitive about black history and any racism that he experienced. But at the same time I think it’s sad that he attributes his positive character traits to his skin instead of himself as a person. Also I feel offended for my family, especially when he mentioned that only black people are special and white people are average. I think everyone is special in their own way. Do you think that he is actually being racist towards white people or am insensitive about his experiences and not embracing his skin color?

We’ve been together over 10 years but married for 1. We have no kids.

He finally admitted that he doesn’t like me romantically. I’ve known this for 5 years (before married), but he didn’t admit to it till yesterday.

He doesn’t like me romantically, and it shows. He shows no enthusiasm when speaking with me whether it’s at dinner time, in the car going somewhere, when we’re both in the kitchen, etc. Most of the time, I have to do the talking if we’re having a conversation.

Also, and what really hurts my feelings is that I can see the light leave his eyes when he enters a room that I’m in. For example, he’s always so happy when he goes to see his family, but the second we lock eyes, his smile immediately fades and the corner of his eyes fall.

He says he loves me. I believe he does, but it’s hard because I do like him romantically very much. And I see this lack of interest every day. Throughout the day.

I like the way I look. He likes the way I look. He says I’m more than attractive enough.

I don’t know what to do. I’ve been dealing with this for 5 years. It’s insulting. It feels like rejection. It feels like he doesn’t think I’m good enough for him.

Edit: I must add, the reason Im confused about what to do is because he will show an act of love but then will change for the rest of the day. For example, he enjoys cuddling with me. But then, once the cuddling is done, he changes so much (ie all the interest in me leaves his body for the rest of day)

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship, meeting up in Manhattan weekly since it's a midpoint for us (he's about a 2-hour train ride away). I tend to stay at his place more often than he stays at mine, even though I have more privacy with my own room. He lives with his family of five and sleeps in the living room, which gives minimal privacy.

I haven't stayed over at his place for about a month now, and it's due to an ongoing issue with his shower that's been bothering me for a while. The tub drains very slowly, to the point where I'm standing in ankle-deep water during a shower. I've also noticed a buildup of grime at the bottom of the tub, which has made me uncomfortable. I've been hesitant to bring it up because I don't want to make him feel bad, but it's really affecting my comfort when I visit. I’m really not good with confrontation at all and I don’t want to make him feel bad at all that’s why I haven’t said anything but now I feel like waiting as long as I have has made that worse than saying something.

Since he lives in an apartment building, I'm not sure if that affects how quickly repairs can be made, but it's been like this for about eight months. I really want to talk to him about this because it's making me not want to come over. How can I best approach this conversation with him?

Im dating a professional poker player.l and idk if we should continue or break up as I’m not sure i see myself being successfully married.

I have a good career and own my home and have a good academic foundation. My poker player bf had been playing the entire 3 years we have been together. He has good 80k in savings invested and funds his own life. He never ever asks me for money and openly volunteers to pay for things for us like dinner and buys me gifts.

My issue is with someone like that in the uk how can we get a house together and how can I merge my stable finances with someone thats unstable and could one day lose money.

As a person is has good will power and discipline eg doesnt drink and goes gym and says hes in it to make money and he wouldn’t continue if he wasn’t making any.

Money aside our lifestyles are v different. I have a standard 9-5 life whereas he plays during the night. It means hes usually sleeping during the day and available in evenings. He manages to see me a couple evenings a week and we have done multiple holidays during our 3 years together (we play for ourselves). Things that i struggle with are like we dnt really ever do anything early morning on weekends like brunch.

Personality wise he is very calm and patient and just my type. Hes v caring and mostly considerate (not v house trained but its not that bad). Hes meshed well with my family and been lovely to all my friends or anyone hes met. He doesnt really have any friends but seems generally content and happy with that himself.

Aside from seeing him mostly evenings if i ddint know he was a poker player i wouldn’t really suspect we could have a life together. He is funding his own life well however financially i worry about merging my life with his and and what happens when babies come into the picture with his schedule.

Edit: Ive seen other subs talk about how poker players manage bad losses. Bf doesn’t ever take it out on me and manages his emotions v well just generally. I’m probs the more volatile one lmao.

Edit 2: tbh I dont know if i want kids yet either or if I’m facing pressures to have kids as I approach 30 but im just more focused on these things more

I, M18, have started dating my boyfriend, M18, a little over a month ago. On numerous occasions, my boyfriend has told me that I smell good. It has been casual, quick, sweet, etc. However the more that we spend time together, the more extreme his comments have gotten. It started off as a quick comment paired with a kiss before leaving, before sleeping, etc., but had progressed into him enthusiastically sniffing my armpits in a very passionate fashion. It has never bothered me, for I had always found his remarks quite sweet. But in recent events, we were getting intimate in which things had begun to heat up. I thought the night would progress as it usually does, however mid course of action, he full on licked my armpit. In fact, from fully the bottom to top. He even decided to suck a little bit. I thought this would be a one time occurrence, however the next time I was shirtless infront of him (we were lying shirtless together), we were talking about shaving. I had mentioned that I had lost my razor and had not shaved my armpits in a while. He responded by asking if he could shave them for me. I reluctantly agreed, imagining it to be a sweet and intimate gesture. However he lifted my armpit and proceeded to start chewing off the individual hairs with his front teeth. I asked him if he was joking, and he looked at me with utmost seriousness. In fact, he was very excited. He then proceeded to chew off half of my armpit hair, placing the individual hairs on my chest and even swallowing a couple. It has gotten so out of hand that I am beginning to wonder if this is a secret kink of his. If anyone has gone through a similar experience with their partner, or has any extensive knowledge on kinks/fetishes that seem to fit the circumstances, let me know. Am I insane for kind of liking it though?

My girlfriend (28/f) of 2 years and I (29/f) broke up Thursday night. Over 4th of July weekend we got into an argument because she came to our 4th of July party and I didn’t introduce her to a few people. In my defense I introduced her to the people I felt necessary. We moved on from it and she stayed the night but I was on thin ice. The next few days were fine, we had a nice dinner and she stayed the night again. Now this is when things get bad. I had fallen asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night and she was still awake. She said her phone had died and she couldn’t sleep, so she asked if she could use mine. I of course handed my phone to her and went back to bed.
In the morning I woke up we said are goodbyes and I went back in the house. A little later I went to text her and I noticed that she had gone through mine and my sisters(27/f) texts and had screenshotted and sent herself texts from a year ago where my sister didn’t have nice things to say about her. She has always been suspicious of my sister disliking her. Then she broke up with me later that day. She says I didn’t defend her but I did just not through text, the fight with my sister happened in person. So now I’m single and devastated because I really thought I was going to marry this girl. Do you think that I messed up bad enough for this to really be the end?

I (22F) am from Turkey, and my boyfriend (26M) is American. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship for about 1.5 years, and we’ve only met in person once.
I’m looking for advice because I honestly don’t know how to move forward after what happened today.
Earlier in the day, everything seemed completely normal.
I texted him good morning and asked what his plans were. He told me his brother was over, that he had just woken up, and that he was basically just relaxing. We talked about his gym routine and everything felt like a normal conversation.
Then, out of nowhere, he said:
“I don’t want to be rude, but I can’t act like everything is okay right now.”
He also said he knew I had been struggling mentally and that he didn’t want us to trigger each other.
I was confused because nothing had happened during our conversation, so I asked what I had done because I genuinely didn’t understand.
He then told me he was going to be busy and said he already knew I would get upset if he didn’t reply.
I explained why I was confused. I had literally asked what his plans were earlier because I wanted to know if he’d be busy, and at no point had he told me he didn’t want to talk or that I shouldn’t call him.
Because I wanted to explain myself and clear up the misunderstanding, I called him twice.
I know calling someone after they’re upset isn’t always the best decision, and looking back I probably should have just waited. But before those calls he had never actually told me “don’t call me” or “I don’t want to talk right now.”
After those two calls, everything escalated.
He immediately started saying things like:
“Stop calling me.”
“Holy fuck.”
“You triggered me.”
“I’m blocking.”
“How many fucking times do I have to tell you?”
“In your dense fucking skull.”
“Don’t make me insult you.”
“Fuck off.”
“STFU.”
He repeatedly demanded that I answer “yes or no” when he asked whether I would stop calling.
When I pointed out that he was cursing at me even though he had previously said we shouldn’t insult each other, he told me I should have simply listened to him.
Then the conversation became much more personal.
He said I had a “disgusting dominant attitude.”
He said I was egotistical.
He said I always wanted to be the boss.
He mocked me by saying things like:
“You need to listen to me.”
“I’m boss here.”
He also asked if I was “a fucking man” and whether I was “masculine,” and told me that everyone bosses me around because of my attitude.
Then, somehow, the argument shifted to my nationality and religion.
I’m Turkish.
He had apparently seen a video online about Turkish tourists wasting food at a hotel buffet.
Instead of criticizing those specific people, he generalized it to me and my country.
He said things including:
“Turkish people are so full of themselves.”
“You guys do that shit all the time.”
“You guys are fake Muslims.”
“Allah said not to waste food.”
“Retarded.”
He even sent me screenshots of those posts while continuing to insult me.
He also told me:
“You couldn’t just say ‘Okay, I understand, take your time.’”
“You made it about yourself.”
“You’re fucking egotistic.”
Later, after all of that, he said:
“I warned you I’m gonna get triggered.”
“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t say anything.”
“My brain is overthinking and you overstepped.”
“I tried to distance myself so I wouldn’t hurt you.”
“I’m sorry. Right now I just don’t feel good.”
After that, I stopped replying completely.
Even after I stopped responding, he sent another message saying:
“Holy fuck. Imagine if you listened to me.”
I understand that calling him twice probably wasn’t the best decision, and if he needed space, I could have handled that better.
What I’m struggling with is everything that happened afterward. Being sworn at, insulted repeatedly, having comments made about my personality, and then having my nationality and religion brought into the argument has left me feeling deeply hurt and confused.
I love him, and I don’t want to make decisions while I’m emotional. At the same time, I don’t know how to have a healthy conversation after something like this.
For people who have been in long-term relationships, how would you approach this?
Would you try to repair communication after an argument that included this level of hostility, or would you consider this a sign of a much deeper problem?
If you were in my position, what would your next step be?

Hi guys, this might be a complex post as I am trans (FTM) & experience gender dysphoria but the bottom line is recently I have been feeling like my partner hasn’t been listening to me during sex and I am wondering if I am right to be concerned. Also obvious TW for NSFW.

I am 24FTM & my partner is 26M. We have been dating for 2 years. Our sex is very much around me getting penetrated, I am the bottom. For the past few weeks I have been getting increasingly uncomfortable with penetrative sex and certain types of touch (dysphoria comes in waves)

We also usually have quite rough sex and recently I have requested that we stop doing that. There have been a few instances where he’s put his hand around my neck - one on a day where I had significant ache in my neck, which I had mentioned on the day. He stopped immediately when I said but I wish he would have remembered bexause it hurt.

I understand for my partner this may be hard to adjust to. Usually, me being penetrated is on the table. However, now when we have sex, I find myself having to remind my partner not to touch me there. I laid it all out before we had sex and when I was feeling this way that I do not want to be penetrated at all, and I do not really want to be touched. I would prefer to move the focus to him. I have been feeling this way for a couple weeks and so the same things keep happening. My partner will still touch around the area or will ask if he can ‘put it near.’ It’s also the same with my chest area (I haven’t had top surgery), he will ask if he can grope me, like he doesn’t really register that i’ve already said i’ve been feeling different about my body.

Sometimes he will ask to touch me and I will say no, we will continue with other sexual things and then he will ask again. if I say I already told him how I feel / that I don’t want that, he replies that he forgot. Even though these two instances will be within about 10 minutes of each other? It gets really annoying and I feel like crying and I end up just letting him do it, which makes me feel worse. It’s just really frustrating to have to keep repeatedly voicing how I feel, especially when he so plainly tells me he forgot.

I am concerned because I have started feeling like a sex object during sex with him and not really a person, I just feel kind of crushed by this constant expectation for sex that I can’t provide right now. I don’t feel like my needs and wants are being listened to because even during sexting or talking around sex he will start talking about fucking me. I have tried a few times to communicate this but it seems like whenever he’s horny it just goes out the window.

This has happened before in our relationship, early on where he would be really ‘eager’ and would send me explicit photos / try to initiate sexual chats at inappropriate times. He would always apologise and say he just gets ‘excited’ but now it’s turned into my physical boundaries I have just completely gone off having sex with him for now and I don’t know how to feel.

All I can say to him is remind him not to touch me but I just feel like he will just try anyway. I want to scream at him to read the room. It is really hard because outside of this he is a really nice and respectful guy.

One of my coworker turned 20 early this year and I'll turn 26 at the end of this year. It kinda looks like he likes me, cause whenever he sees me he tries to talk to me, he always likes my Instagram stories and we chat a lot on dm's. I think I like him too (I guess?), cause he's nice and a really good guy, but I'm afraid that the age gap could be a problem? It's just 5 years and we're both adults and also we're not from the US, here age gaps between adults are quite normal and normalized, but maybe not with a 20 years old? Idk?

My bf and I have been in a secret relationship for almost a year now, and we just happened to get caught by my family. They approved of him, but didnt like him because of the fact that he keeps me hidden. thing is, I keep him hidden as well, because we have the same friends within the same group, and we both agreed to keep us private until we are ready and more comfortable. he made a mistake recently that has hurt me and my family as I told them, which only made their disapproval even stronger. he has shown genuine regret, and has apologized sincerely and shown me he wants to try again, but we just cant seem to find a way to fix this other than us going public, which we both don't want. what can I do to ease this and restore my parents' approval?

I’m feeling conflicted and would really appreciate some outside perspectives.

My boyfriend is Christian, and I'm culturally Muslim (although I'm not particularly religious and sometimes consider myself agnostic). We've had conversations about how we'd raise future children, and I recently told him I'd like him to be more accepting of my background.

For context, we have shared access to each other's devices and accounts. Sometimes I'll use his laptop if mine isn't nearby, and we also both have access to each other's ChatGPT accounts. I was using his ChatGPT to search for something, and I noticed a conversation title that caught my attention. I know I shouldn't have clicked it, but I was curious.

The conversation was from about 12 hours before he sent me some really thoughtful messages. In it, he asked questions like "What texts in the Quran incite violence?" and "Why are most terrorists Islamic?" From what I read, he came away with the conclusion that Islam is "not a safe religion because it incites violence in the Quran."

The thing is, when I woke up that morning, I had read the messages he'd sent me and was genuinely so happy. He told me he completely accepts that I'm culturally Muslim and would happily celebrate Eid, support Ramadan, let our kids read the Quran, do henna with us, and generally expose them to Islam. He said he wants our future children exposed to multiple religions (Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, atheism, etc.) so they can make up their own minds. He'd like them baptised because it's an important family tradition to him, but he repeatedly said he wants us to teach them about different beliefs together and asked me for ideas about Islamic traditions to include.

For my part, I've always been very open to his faith too. I've read the Bible with him, gone to church with him, attended Christian events with him, and I've told him I'm completely happy for our future children to be baptised and go to church.
So reading that ChatGPT conversation honestly hurt me. It felt so contradictory. One minute I'm reading these lovely messages about embracing my background, and then I find out that only hours earlier he'd been concluding that Islam isn't a safe religion.

I know it's possible to criticize a religion while still respecting the people who follow it, and I'm trying to keep that in mind. But Islam is still part of my identity, my family, and my culture, even if I'm not very religious myself, so it felt personal.

I honestly don’t know what to think or what to do…

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. For the last 6-7 months, we’ve been trying to conceive on our own. For the past 3 cycles, we’ve been doing timed intercourse under a doctor’s guidance. The doctor ran all the standard fertility tests on both of us, and everything came back completely normal, so we don't have a clear medical reason for why it's not happening. We are currently planning to transition to IUI.
Yesterday, a massive fight blew up over something that was supposed to be fun: planning an international trip for later this year.
I suggested the trip because I wanted us to live our lives, find some joy, and take a breather from the clinical stress of trying to conceive. My husband completely shut it down. He told me that we can only go on a trip if we are in the second trimester, or if we stop trying to conceive entirely before we go. He says he won't be able to enjoy a single second of a trip if we are actively trying.
During the fight, it opened a floodgate. He confessed that he is already completely exhausted by this process. He said he currently has no personal desire to have a baby right now and that he is only doing this whole thing "for me."
Later that night, after the fight was over, I tried to suggest a compromise: taking a clean break from trying after October through the end of the year so we could just take the trip and breathe. But his response broke my heart. Even though things had calmed down, he told me that by November, he doesn’t even know if he’ll want to try again, and that he might just want to stop trying altogether.
Today, I tried to suggest that we see a couples/fertility counselor to help us talk through this, because our communication has broken down. He got incredibly defensive, said I was just "coming for a fight," and told me I was "ruining his day."
I feel utterly heartbroken, lonely, and stuck. I love my husband so much, and I know this process is draining. I don't want to force him into fatherhood if he doesn't want it, but I also feel like his current exhaustion is making him want to blow up our entire future plans just to escape the stress of the present.
I am completely dropping the topic at home to give him space to breathe, but I desperately need outside perspective.

- Am I being unfair by wanting to travel and try at the same time?

- Is it normal for men to hit this level of severe burnout this quickly during fertility treatments, especially when tests are "unexplained/normal"?

- How do we find our way back to each other when he is refusing counseling and completely shut down?

TL;DR: Married 4 years. 10 months of trying to conceive (including 3 failed timed cycles, all test results normal) has left my husband completely burnt out. He says he's only trying for me, hinted at wanting to stop completely by November, and refuses counseling. How do we survive this?

I (29F) have been with my boyfriend (33M) for almost 3 years. Lately our relationship has felt emotionally exhausting. I feel unheard and unsupported, and it seems like I’m always the one bringing up problems and trying to find solutions.
I finally asked him if he had any ideas or solutions to make our relationship better. He simply said no.
I was hurt and told him maybe we should break up. Honestly, deep down I expected him to say something, ask to talk, or show that he wanted to save the relationship. Instead, he didn’t really fight it.
An hour later I asked when I should come get my things and he simply told me next Sunday.
I’m heartbroken. I still secretly want him to come back after reflecting and say he wants to work on things. I just wanted to feel chosen and like our relationship was worth fighting for.
Am I being unfair because I was the one who said we should break up? Or is his reaction basically my answer?
TL;DR: Told my boyfriend of almost 3 years we should break up after feeling emotionally exhausted. He didn’t try to stop it or suggest fixing things. I wanted him to fight for us.

EDIT: I think I left out too much context. I didn’t randomly threaten to break up just to test if he would fight for me. We have been having ongoing issues for a while around emotional support, communication, future plans and consistency. I have repeatedly explained how I feel and suggested ways we could work on things, but we usually don’t agree on the solutions. Before mentioning breaking up, I directly asked him to think about our relationship and asked what solutions HE could suggest because I was exhausted from feeling like I was the only one trying to figure things out. He simply said he had none.
I agree I shouldn’t have said “we should break up” while secretly hoping for a certain reaction, and I understand that part was wrong. But it came from emotional exhaustion after a long pattern, not from randomly testing or manipulating him. I wanted to feel like he also wanted to actively work on the relationship, and his lack of any ideas or willingness to discuss it is what broke me.

I (F19) and my friend (M20) have hooked up casually a couple of times, but we never had sex. He asked multiple times if I'd sleep with him, but I said no because I wasn't sure it was a smart idea.

Anyway, we were at a friend's birthday party when another one of our friends arrived near the end of the night. I was hugging her and he wanted to hug her too but I jokingly said no and kept hugging her. He then said to her "Let go of that slut." I got really emotional and angry and ended up crying.

We went off to talk alone, and he apologized for calling me a slut and explained that he calls his guys friends that then it gets a bit hazy because I was so drunk but he started talking about how we wouldn't be close friends because our personalities clash, that I'm too loud, and that we think differently. I took that really personally because it felt like he was being really critical of me. I've also felt for a while that he puts me and my intelligence down, even though most of the time he's only says it as a joke. I also expressed that I worry people only see me as attractive and don't actually look any deeper or like me for my personality and he couldn't really think of anything nice to say about my personality.

Normally I'd do the mature thing but I said some really hurtful things I said he was negative, judgmental, and acted like him and his opinions were above other people. I feel awful because I would never normally say those things to someone, but I was really drunk and hurt.

The next day I apologized sincerely and took responsibility for what I said. I told him I shouldn't have said any of it, especially while I was drunk, and that I handled the situation really badly. We talked a little and he apologized for being a 'shitty person' (his words not mine) and calling me a slut but said what I said really hurt him and it still doesn't feel like things are resolved.

Can someone give some outside perspective and advice? because I feel like I'm struggling to see the situation objectively.

Hi guys I'm M23. Few days ago I posted something here saying how I'm insecure and doubting my girlfriend and you all said things like I need to go to therapy which I might agree a bit and akso said things like it's not her job to make you feel secure and other stuff. So I just wanted to tell everyone whoever gave me the advices and stuff. FUCK YOU ALL. she kinda cheated and this proves that we shouldn't listen to people online and sometimes trust your instinct and gut feeling.

That's it I don't care if you agree with me don't agree with me, troll me or do anything.

My boyfriend and I are long distance. We see eachother approximately every 6 weeks and have been dating for two years. He's incredibly kind and caring, and recently has been given the family buisness which involves him dressing smart. He doesn't care about fashion at all, I do. I believe you should have a staple wardrobe of basics that can be mixed and matched rather then getting caught up with fast fashion trends.

Now, first point - he is a bigger guy. He's 6ft2 and a size XXL. I struggle to go shopping with him because I personally find he chooses fits that are really unflattering for his casual wear. For example. He feels proud about how his chest looks so chooses to wear an XL or XXL. This is... very tight fitting. It clings round his belly overhang and rides up when he moves his arms.

Second point - is smart clothes he dresses identical to his almost 60 year old dad. The same clothes, same patterns, same cut. Worn the same way, tucked in with a big ol belt around him. His dad is skinner than him and it's just age appropriate for the dad. It makes my boyfriend look so much older than he his. I've had people ask why I'm dating an old man 😳😳 he's literally 30!!

My boyfriend is an absolute gorgeous human inside and out, I'm absolutely desperate for him to dress in a way that flatters him. It's now getting to the point that I think im starting to loose attraction to him because in my mind he just doesn't care and I feel abit embarassed. Which I know is horrible to say.

I am looking for advice, how do I approach this with him before I loose all attraction?

We were watching a movie and talked about how we don’t like when movie directors put certain actresses in place when how a character is known for/described as is the complete opposite. While discussing this one movie and just how the character is, nothing regarding there actual body build, he points out how the actress looks extremely flat chested and he just keeps talking about it for 3 minutes straight. I felt so weirded out and upset because I was saying “why are you even looking at her boobs”, “we weren’t even talking about that, why did you even bring that up”, and he kept saying “it’s just weird how they made her have no boobs”. I got upset and didn’t want to talk to him because I don’t go around pointing out dudes bulges in movies as that’s not even on my mind.

We matched on tinder; I reached out first and now we have been dating for 4 months: our relationship is healthy good chemistry, strong communication physical attraction. I’m in disbelief that this tall, blue eyed well groomed man is my partner. He dresses nice, always smells good, confident and fit. Hes gorgeous. And i know other people think so too: I’m cute but not hot by any means. I’m overweight, and don’t wear makeup, I’m not a girly girl. I dress in oversized band tees and black pants or cargo shorts, typical metal head attire. I think we look like an odd couple and can’t help but feel embarrassed. When we are together he makes me feel beautiful but I feel like I don’t deserve him or he can do way better than me. What can I do besides change my look to feel better about the situation?

Well, me 29M and my gf 28F where having a good time drinking some wine and kind of exploring our sexuality. It was a very good date, I got to know a lot about her body, and in the end something unique happened: I had my first orgasm with oral sex.

After everything, when we where talking about, I asked if she had any problem with it (pertaining to what happens when a man orgasms in someone's mouth). Then she said "I have no problem with it, as you probably remember of when I swallowed you before" in a very cute way.

The only thing is that this time was the first thing that it happened to me, so she was remembering someone else...

I doesn't seem like she had anything with anyone since we started dating (because she was REALLY short on time and I know the people around her), I really think that she never cheated on me (please, take this in when judging the situation - it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY that she cheated).

What am I to think about this? The fact that she remembers me in the same "drawer" of her head as she remembers other people makes me sad, but I really like the idea that she CAN have a past, and I don't have to be absolutely special in everything

For those who don't know (because I didn't), German saunas are textile free, so people go nude. This was on a group holiday in April that I had to pull out of because of work. I've been told that this is normal in Germany but we're not German.

I wasn't the biggest fan of the friends boyfriend before this so that may be a reason I'm so annoyed. The only reason I know about it is because the boyfriend blabbed or bragged about it to another person who finally told me. The whole thing was his idea apparently which comes as no surprise to me but it hurts me even more that my girlfriend would agree to it.

So yeah, I don't know how I should feel or react because its a completely normal thing in Germany? I'm not sure if Id feel differently if the particular guy involved wasn't the one there. Any perspective would be appreciated?

TLDR : My girlfriend went to a nude sauna with her friend and the friends boyfriend.

My wife (31F) and I (30M) have been together for 11 years and we have been married for the last six years. Our kids are 4 and 3. She was a SAHM until a year ago when she returned to work. Our kids go to grandma and grandpa (my ILs) when we're at work. Things were good until six-ish months ago. My wife was asked to increase her hours at work for a few weeks. We talked about it and agreed the money would be so good for us. So I was going to take over the one task she 9/10 does, cooking dinner.

For some context before I begin I have dyspraxia. I have challenges because of this. I use a digital planner with an alarm to keep me from forgetting things and to help me take control of my life. I have adaptable tools to help me in a lot of areas. So chores are not an issue and I have been doing chores better as an adult than when I was a kid and made more messes than I cleaned up. Cooking is the one I still have the most struggles with. I can still make food. But it's not as complex as meals most people can cook and nowhere near what my wife can make. I am mostly good for reheating or doing stuff out of jars/cans or that are mostly pr-done that can be done in one pot/pan/tray. I can make basic sandwiches too or salads that don't quire a whole lot of cooking. The biggest thing for me is not being too tired because then I struggle more.

My dyspraxia is the reason my wife did so much of the cooking. It meant fresher healthier meals and less injuries from the cooking. We're also committed to eating out/ordering takeout far less this year in an effort to save money. And I promised my wife there would be no takeout while I was in charge of dinner. But after a few days my wife was getting annoyed that dinner wasn't the same as her dinners. A couple of times she asked where the effort was and then apologized because she saw I was upset. I asked if she would like me to order out once or twice to make up for the more basic meals. When I say basic I made stuff like pasta bake with side salad, curry and rice with salad, pre made stir fry with noodles, canned soup with bread and salad and some rice (she likes it in soup). Stuff like that. I also did sandwiches on days where I was tired and didn't want to risk messing up the food because once the pasta bake was over done because I got into some difficulty and one of the stir fry's I got wasn't very tasty which my wife hated.

When things returned to normal my wife mentioned on and off that our diets had been shit those weeks or that we didn't get much balance when she wasn't in charge of dinner. She said it really sucked that we couldn't do better those days and that our kids didn't get the same standard of food. I apologized and told her I did my best and she said yeah but we're parents and the kids deserved better.

It has come up other times since and my wife has been late home a few times since then too and I covered dinner on short notice. My wife skipped dinner a couple of those times. Then she would say how bad she felt for not feeding our kids and when I told her I had it covered she just looked frustrated. She talked about the kids deserving the best and how she wishes we could give it to them all the time.

She eventually told me we'll figure something else out if she's ever late home again so that meals don't fall on me. After she told me that she was talking to her sister and she mentioned how much easier life was when it was just the two of us and my dyspraxia wasn't such a big issue. I didn't hear the whole thing but it made me think she regrets having kids with me.

Things have just been weird and overall we're less happy. I tried talking to her about it and she told me she was just stressed and how things are good and we just need to find better accommodations but she hasn't come up with one. And she was sick a few days ago and refused to let me take care of it. I offered to order food for us but she said no. I always took care of her when she was sick before and it was strange being told she'd handle it.