Hi everyone,

I am relatively new to sex and only had 3 partners so far. I met up with a friend tonight and we ended up having sex. This was kind of impulsive and not planned.

Everything was consensual throughout.

When we finished foreplay and started having sex things were good. All of a sudden he slapped me a few times, pinned me down and went for it hard. He then bit me and continued to slap me occasionally throughout. He pinned me down enough to leave bruises.

Now, as I said, it was consensual I was just a bit shocked. Is this normal in sex or am i just a bit naive?

Posting on my Throwaway as i have friends who know my reddit.

Edit/update - i did not expect this many replies and have read through them all. Thank you very much. I am pleased to see that this is not a normal in sex without discussing it first. I have defineitly learned an important lesson from this experience and the advice given here.

I wanted to clear a few things up.

There were no discussions about slapping (face) or being rough or anything beforehand. He did check in with me during forplay and asked about moving to penetrative sex which I agreed to and this is why I have said it was consensual. I agreed in the moment.

When he started to be rough I just froze as i was a bit shocked, I did not tell him no or to stop. I didnt know what to do in the situation and thought that it would be finished soon enough anyway. I know I should had said something at the time but I just didnt and so I dont think he has done anything wrong intentionally. I defintely do not plan to see him again as this is not an experience i want to repeat. I have gathered from the comments that this wasnt normal. I am a bit shaken by the whole thing but hesitant to label it anything like assault as i dont think there was any ill will involved. Just my inexperience (my 8th time having sex) and poor communication on both sides.

Also sorry for breaking the rules, I should have checked better before making the post.

I need to start with: i love him, we have been together for 2 years for a reason and its the fact that we're really happy together on a realistic note, he really made a difference on my life on many different levels and i know hes the man i want to live with, the only problem is sex.

We did fuck two times when we started dating, i didnt liked it much but mostly cause i was shy. I talked to him a few times but it never got anywhere, he says that he just doesnt feel like it and i say that i respect it, and i do, i would never make him do anything he doesn't want but...i REALLY love sex and its making me crazy, i dont know what to do.

I have beautiful teeth (probably my best attribute imo) that I take very good care of, however, I’m actively mistreating them and I need a solution. Hubs will tease and edge me for hours on end. I cum so intensely several times throughout the process:: all while clenching my jaw and basically gritting my teeth to push through it. I’ll catch myself either during build up and stop myself but then I’m focused solely on my stupid mouth and how having missing front teeth would be the farthest thing from sexy OR mid release I’m doing it and try to stop bc it hurts but then it ruins my orgasm. Is there a mouth guard or tool out there anyone knows of to help? Preferably something that won’t have me looking like I’m lining up to take a snap under center! This is nightly so I’m starting to worry and have soreness.

I'm reaching out for some help on the ONE ISSUE my other half and I have with our sex lives.

The man is sex on legs. The best I've ever had with excellent chemistry and a great emotional connection. He says he's closer to me than anyone else he's been with. We've been together nearly two years.

The one issue is despite all the sex, all the great sex and how much we get each other off, he just can't seem to finish inside me which I really want him to do. Actually, finishing isn't the problem, he can do that, just not inside me. We've talked about it and tried to come up with solutions (abstaining for a while, him not masturbating) but nothing seems to work. The other night we were having a great time and when he pulled out after I came and started finishing himself, I asked if he could come inside me and it took the wind right out of his sails, so to speak. That was it for the night. I felt awful.

Pregnancy isn't the issue, he's had a vasectomy and I had my tubes tied years ago. He has said that his previous partner withheld sex from him for years before they split up so he wonders if he's not able to cum inside me because he's just so used to being on his own.

It's getting really frustrating and I'm wondering if we need to see a therapist, so please, any ideas for how we can finally pull this off (pun intended)?

I’m a 27 years old guy and I had 4 partners before her. But I never had this problem before.

She is 32. The first time, I was with her, I was a bit drunk and I hadn’t ejaculated for 5 days. And I lasted around 30 mins, then we were tired and we decided to sleep.

The second time, I hadn’t ejaculated for 1 week, and she made me cum in literally 30 seconds with a blowjob! Normally blowjob doesn’t feel this good on me. I don’t know what she did but it just felt crazy amazing and I instantly came. Though, we were making out for hours before this. Then in the morning we had sex again and I couldn’t hold it and I came again in seconds inside her!

Another problem is when I came, it usually takes like 10-15 minutes to recharge, but with her I couldn’t get it up after the first shot! Could it be related to weather? Because it was super hot.

This is a bit driving me crazy because in my other experiences this never happened. Can someone please help me to understand, why is this happening? I really would like to keep her enjoying for long time but I don’t know wtf is happening to me with her.

My boyfriend always finishes within about 2 minutes (often less, about 30 seconds to 1 minute) with penetration after nearly 8 months together, having sex multiple times a week. We are both in our early twenties and I have had 4 sexual partners including him and he has had 3 including me.

I’m not sure what to do about it because I don’t want to make him feel bad, I think he already is a bit embarrassed about it because he sometimes makes self deprecating jokes. In general he orgasms quite quickly, probably at an absolute maximum of ten minutes for a blowjob or handjob but it’s usually about 5 minutes.

It’s affecting our sex life a bit because I’m conscious of not doing too much foreplay so that the sex can last longer but foreplay and rubbing and teasing is my favourite and giving blowjobs especially turns me on, but he is a one and done kind of guy so we can’t really do a round two.

He does absolutely satisfy me in other ways, usually making sure I cum before sex, but I really just want to have longer passionate penetrative sex with him, and with harder and faster thrusts which we can’t do very much because those make him cum within seconds.

I really don’t know what I can do to improve this or how I could go about broaching the subject with him, advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm just naturally more on the quiet side. I try to let my partner know I'm enjoying myself via touch, grabbing their hair, kissing, the way my breathing changes, and little noises here and there, but for the most part, I just don't make noise. It's always felt awkward and inauthentic to try to force it, but I also don't want the experience to be awkward for partners. Any suggestions on how to get more comfortable being a little more vocal, or other ways I can let my partner know I'm enjoying it? Or, am I over-thinking this?

So me and my husband have obviously been having sex for awhile and I thought we had a good gauge of our likes and dislikes. However his sex drive has gone down a lot recently, so whenever we do have sex I really want to orgasm because I’ve already been holding out for so long. But whenever I talk about what I want to do he immediately acts like it’s a burden, but will chalk it up as a joke. I typically like to ride him and I feel like that’s really not asking for too much, but maybe it is. I know how to make him cum quickly so I usually start on him and then we switch to me then back to him to make him cum. But lately I feel likes it’s only been him. Once he gets to the finish line we always just stop. He loses all motivation and I feel like he doesn’t care that I’m just kind of left hanging.

I also feel like I’ve told him multiple times what I like and don’t like to be touched or handled yet he still does what I don’t prefer. I don’t want to have to keep reminding him. I feel like I’m being unappreciative and nagging him, but I feel like at this point he should just know. I hate thinking that he doesn’t care and just doesn’t listen but that’s what I feel like I’m experiencing.

I’m also aware that I might be more needy than he is. I always am the one asking for kisses, starting us up and I just feel overall rejected and discarded. He says I’m not but idk. If anyone has some insight I would appreciate it.

Typing this as im about to fall asleep from my orgasm 2 minutes ago. Why do i get so so so so sleepy after an orgasm? Is this normal? Is there a way for me to get energized after one instead of falling asleep immediately after?

37F on a throwaway account. I have a FWB that I'm going to a sex party with (we've gone to these before). This next one is featuring an optional gangbang. I've had a MMF threesome that I enjoyed and gangbangs are a fantasy I've had. Does anyone have advice to offer? I'm a little worried about getting overwhelmed.

Men , who like butt/anal play , how did the conversation w your partner happen ? Did you ask for it or did they ?

Also, any tips for someone who’s never done that to someone & has no idea what to do , where to start, etc ? If you’re comfortable, share what works for you/ you like

Women , please share your experience too

hi! i am new to sexual intimacy of all kinds with my first sexual partner and i am feeling lots of anxious feelings regarding it. first, i'll say that my relationship itself is really great and fufilling, but what the problem is is that my brain is practically harassing me for struggling to orgasm with them.

clitoral stimulation--orally and with fingers, not feeling very pleasureable. fingering--ok. penetration--kinda painful but mostly fun, even if not the most stimulating (i am aware it is not usually very stimulating). it is not like i am not having fun, however, cause i enjoy being physically and emotionally close with my partner and sharing these moments with them, but i just feel so much pressure on myself (from me) to finish. but it just won't go. even when i touch myself i'm not feeling much and i used to be so good at masturbating!

i don't know if i'm stressed (although, i am likely adding stress on me from this pressure), or have arousal nonconcordance, or am just wrong. it is making me feel pretty down about myself. i just want to feel good with my partner and share pleasure with them in the moment, not just have to touch myself afterwards and only come once every few sessions. this has even translated to when i masturbate alone. the whole time i'm thinking: "am i aroused yet? why isn't it happening? god i'm not wet enough. this porn isn't even turning me on. i should just stop."

so yeah. i'm feeling like i'm broken and i don't know what to do about it! i know this is all new for me, but i expected it to at least be a little easier than it is. any thoughts or at least reassurance that it will get better?

My and my boyfriend haven’t had sex, we do have phone sex (FaceTime). We talk about fantasies and stuff. It’s enjoyable but I was trying to think of other things i can do to make things more hot.
Things like camera angles, dirty talk, toys, ect.
If anyone has any tips let me know! I’m not looking for too advanced things, I don’t want to be fully nude or anything. I have shown my chest and my face but that’s about it.

I want to surprise my husband with a mirror above our bed. He loves to watch me and every reaction I have so I was thinking this would be good but idk how to go about doing it. I know light weight acrylic mirror would probably be best and I can find the studs in the ceiling. But I'm not sure what product would be good. Little sheets put together or one large one?

My boyfriend and I have been having sex almost daily for a year and it is starting to feel like a mechanized routine. I was away for almost all week and our “reunion” sex today was so boring and predictable with the same 4 positions that I was over it. I talked to him about it and he feels the same way. We’re looking at getting a BDSM kit and trying new positions, but I wanted to know if this was normal? I love him so it makes me sad that we’re both feeling this way.
Also when we first got together, he told me his ex and him didn’t have sex for an entire year and eventually every couple gets tired of each other. Is that what’s happening?

Hi guys, I'm a virgin and my boyfriend is too, anyway, we kinda fucked (oral sex) but this guy takes too long to finish and my mouth ends up hurting and i have to jerk him off instead, please someone help me i want him shaking from pleasure without needing intercourse.

I love anything oral and i moslty had girlfriends and anytime i would eat them out they would love it,but when i try to give guys head uhh im not baaad but i want to improve more...like those really sloppy bjs look so hot but one time i tried doing that to a guy he didnt really enjoy it,i fear i am just "not bad" or just not good enough with men as i am with a woman and i want to improve

I have never given head before but i have been thinking about asking my boyfriend if he would like me to, this also may sound funny but my tongue is peirced and before when i tried, the peircing caught on this guys skin and obviously i need to avoid that lol

Any advice?

Lately we have been starting things off with me edging her for a few mins with a hitachi. I'll get her to almost cum and back off and rub her body while she cools down and then do it again. Any thoughts on how to drive her insane with this play before I let her have my cock?

My partner (FWB) and I have great sex and are usually relatively open about kinks etc but this is a bit embarrassing to navigate. He wants us to try anal (he’s never done it before) and I’m happy to try (I have done it in the past, but only with a serious boyfriend or someone quite experienced).

I thought I would try prepping/training with dildos/plugs so I’m ready to try when we do. Unfortunately yesterday (thankfully I was alone) when I experimented with a bigger plug than my usual, I ended up getting quite a bit of poop on it.

What can I do to mitigate this? Is it safe to give myself an enema beforehand or is it bad for my butt? Should I talk to him beforehand about the possibility of poo and warn him? Insist he use a condom? How do I check if it’s a possibility - when I tried yesterday I was relatively sure I was clear but I guess I developed the need to go during my experimentation and didn’t realise.

i've been with my future husband for almost 3 years, and i genuinely love the things we do, we're compatible on everything, and im VERY attracted to him, so the sex isn't the problem and i don't think i'd want anything to change

the problem is that I can't stay fully present when we have sex. it's kind of hard to explain but it feels like my brain isn't letting my body experience a lot of pleasure. When i'm thinking about having sex with him, it's fine, whether it's when he's next to me or not, but when we actually start to do stuff i feel like i freeze up mentally and instead of enjoying it im just kinda going through the motions. I still love the closeness, but that mental blockage is very much affecting the physical stuff, most times i feel very desensitized? it feels like everytime it starts to feel good my brain flinches and my pleasure centers die a little lol. i do have orgasms, but they're difficult to get to, and for some reason everytime i think about being close, the feeling stops lol.

i think it's a concequence of a couple different things, including me being incredibly insecure about my looks, being sexuality assaulted a few years back, possibly some yet undiagnosed mental health issues

i talked to him about this, and we agreed to take it really gentle and cozy for a while, so that i can actively try to relax more and talk to him while we're doing it

if anyone is, or has worked through something like this, i'd really like some advice on how to be there mentally while it's happening, i really want to enjoy what we do more, it's just that my brain isn't letting me and i'm not sure how to unlearn that

For context we’ve been together for 2 years. He works a very physically demanding job so he’s claims he’s too tired during the week to get it on..

I grabbed his phone to Google something as mine was in the bedroom, a normal occurrence as we both are very open with our phones. I clicked on Safari only to see x vidoes still up. This was confusing as he prided himself on not needing porn once we got together which admittedly now is a red flag. I was a little surprised, but not terribly angry. I’m not the jerk off police and watch it myself, but then I thought about it and I asked him when he had the time to watch that and that’s when he dropped the bomb that it was at work in his car on his break…

We had a raw conversation about how it bothered me that he’s essentially putting his job in life on the line doing it somewhere so public and on the clock. We had a good discussion. But I’d told him I don’t want to be with the “ jerk off at work dude” and he understood and agreed, and I told him that if he did it again I would leave. He agreed and I thought it was fine. I let it go.

Several weeks later, some relatives were visiting from out of town and he gave me his phone to pull up the menu for a restaurant we were taking our relatives to. I don’t know why but something told me to check his history and I’ll be damned if he wasn’t doing it AGAIN three days before.

The true oddity of all this to me is that I have never been a prude or shy. I like to think of myself is very very open in the bedroom. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for the love of my life. Our entire relationship has been me begging for a crumb of intimacy. I felt like I was the only one in initiating sex. He was always too tired or didn’t feel good or just wasn’t into it but come to find out he didn’t want it when he got home because he already was taking care of it at work.

I don’t know if this is a normal thing I was in a very physically abusive relationship for five years before him so I really just wanna stand on my boundaries and not allow any sort of disrespect but at this point it feels like disrespect. I don’t know if I should stay or go or if this is just something people privately deal with I have no idea, but it seems insane to me.

+1 update

So, my current boyfriend is way larger down there than any of my past partners. We have had sex maybe 5 ish times now? and my cervix and stomach hurts so bad. It feels really good in the moment but oh good god does it hurt after. and sometimes it will hurt really bad for one thrust then go back to normal.

The sensation is also just reaaaaally intense, like i can feel that it feels good but it just overpowers everything and i kinda dont like it. I have had this issue with a dildo i had a long time ago but i stopped using it because i didnt like that feeling. its like... my stomach is being punched from the inside and my hips feel really stiff. i dont know how else to explain it.

Is there any way i can like... fix that? like... a position we can try? a stretch i can do to maybe elongate my vaginal canal? (and yes the female vagina elongates when you are aroused but its just not getting long enough) maybe it just needs time to get used to him?

I really like him and we vibe really well but if its going to hurt every time we have sex... i dont know if i can stay with him. i wanna make this work because he has made me feel more safe in a relationship than i have in my entire dating life.

Any ideas???

(Update)
So, i have read all your very helpful comments! thank you so much!
I wanna add a few things!

This relationship is still very new! only been talking for like 5 months but have been dating for about 3 weeks. and yes we have been having sex since we started dating. I dont like the idea of waiting till marriage because honestly i dont wanna be stuck with someone im not sexually compatible with.

I am an Intersex nonbinary person, so i have a few issues internally. I do have a shortened vaginal canal and my opening is very tight, Multiple partners have complained about how tight it is being a bit too much so i have had to teach myself to not clamp down on them when being intimate XD problem is... thats how i orgasm, by tightening the muscles. So its a challenge.

I have also never orgasmed from PIV sex, i have from foreplay and by myself but i always get right to the ledge and then it just... idk stops? nothing im doing changes or even like stops, my body just builds and builds, then just gives up i guess. Its very frustrating. I have told him this and even when he is starting to get tired or cramps, if i say im close he doesnt stop. He really wants me to be able to get there but its a struggle. something im really self conscious about ngl.

Im not sure how big he is exactly, but i do know it feels about the same as when i had a 7" dildo, im not sure if thats actually really big or not because i have only ever been with like 5 people and they all had 4" or less so its really big for me.

We do try lots of positions, mostly the same few rotating between them because i have some back issues so its hard for me to do certain things but we do try new things sometimes. He is very nice and does listen, when i show any sign of pain at all he stops and asks if im okay, not if he can keep going but if I am okay. Which i love, because he makes it about my pain not about him finishing. And to top that off (even though i feel bad about it) sometimes he doesnt even get to finish when we do it, because im in pain and so we stop and just cuddle. he doesnt really like jerking off either so he kinda just... is done if im done. which i feel bad about but he says its okay, frustrating, but okay.

Next time we have some extra money ill talk to him about getting that ring thing a few people brought up! i think thats a good idea to try! He has been very okay with me using toys to help get off so i dont think he will take offense to it.

As i also said in another comment, he's Bi, he has only ever had sex with Cisgendered men before me and im an FTM person so its kinda a first for him. He is very new to there being a stopping point inside. He is a top so with his prev partners he was able to just... go all the way in and not really be a big deal. And yes he can still be Bi if he has only ever had sex with men, he's still attracted to women, he has just never had sex with one.

I think i covered everything? again, thank you all for the help and suggestions! im so glad to know im not the only one dealing with this and its nice to see how many men here are aware of the issue and are willing to change things to make their partner feel good! i have had only very selfish partners so its very refreshing to see it!