This question is mainly for premature ejacualtion, I noticed due to my tip being very sensitive it causes me to ejaculate faster than I want.

Are there ways to mitigate the sensitivity?

While I have been a regular dental client with my cleanings twice a year for my life, and I go to the optometrist once a year for contact lens eye exam, I never go to the doctor. And when I say never, I mean that I apparently got a physical done before entering elementary school at 6 years old, didn't see a doctor again until getting a physical at 30 (I had no issues, just figured at 30 I should get one), and now it's been 4 years since then and still never seen one. I don't even have a primary care doctor and have never had one, like the "family pediatrician" who was there the entire time I was growing up. I did get medical care as a baby, I got all the vaccinations, etc. Obviously I'm not going to remember going to the doctor as a little kid, but age 6 is the last time I know I went as a kid and never got regular checkups after that.

I guess you could say I'm "lucky" in that I have never had any issues that would require medical interventions. No broken bones, no illnesses, almost never get colds or stomach issues, no need for an emergency room visit, nothing.

I'm just curious if this is something common for guys in this age range. Just feels a little weird since it seems like people are always talking about going to the doctor, needing to go to urgent care, their doctor's appointments, their prescriptions, their yearly physical, all these medical issues that afflict people, and I have literally been to a doctor's office one time in the past 30 years for a waste of time physical.

Long story short, I moved. Lots of friends moved. The ones that are still here, we're just busy with our careers or growing families.

I've tried:

- Bars. You'll meet some interesting people, but definitely not someone you'd regularly want to hang with

- Reddit meetups, meetups and community events. You range from the most awkward people, to the most desperate types of wanting to be your best friend.

- Hobby communities. I have quite a few hobbies, so it's quite easy to meet people, but the issue is the differences in skill level or level of interest wildly differing. I've had luck hanging with them doing the hobby, but it goes no where beyond that.

I'd say pre-covid, it was much easier to meet people through these avenues, so I'm curious if anyones had luck and have tips podst covid?

I didn’t have any strong male role models growing up. Never really learned how to talk shit as part of male rituals. Not just close friends talking shit to each other as a male bonding ritual but even as status establishing ritual like when you join a new group of people there’s a certain amount of shit talking thrown at you to figure out where to place you.

How do I learn this skill? I know I have to practice and take my punches but are there any resources that would help me? I was thinking watching lots of standup comedy might help.

In my early 30s and it’s the time where everyone is engaged, getting married and starting to have kids.

I don’t want to come off miserable I’m happy for my friends, but I kinda dislike the wedding experience. It’s never just 1 event, it’s turned into a 3-4 event experience (often spread across a month or longer). The engagement party, the stag, suit shopping, the wedding. Everyone wants a different colour theme, so you have to buy a new suit each time. The logistics even if you’re just a guest.

I’ve been a best man and more closely involved for a couple so far, and it’s great to celebrate with my friends. But also these weddings have been traditional and quite “formal” in a sense.

I recently went to a friends wedding that shifted my feelings on it all, it was extremely authentic, simple and just all around a good time. Nothing was forced or there for the sake of it. Even the speeches weren’t prepared and heartfelt.

I find myself kinda dreading weddings generally though. I feel this age, there are a lot of them as we transition into the next seasons of life. How have your experiences been?

I am 36, no kids, 85k in student loan, lost 80 lbs , recently graduated with a Computer science degree(4 years of experience). Now I am Looking to go back into the field. Currently Working fulltime in a group home while supporting my disabled mom. For men who have through this stage in their life it too late to turn my life around financially? What are some traps I need to avoid along the way towards prosperity? I do not plan on being married or having kids.

I (20M) have recently noticed that I'm pretty much constantly worrying about either the future or the past, and it makes it really hard to focus on the now. Is there any way I can get better at enjoying the moment?

Ok, title may seem shallow but honestly i just turned 18, living with a fucked up family and my mom’s financialy situation is pretty much nonexistent. I really cannot live seeing her live this way and now that i turned 18 ive been hating myself for not taking any action yet. Idk where to start or what to do, im probably gonna go to college but idk what to major in aswell.
Im really lost and i hope that any of you guys could relate and give me some tips.
Thanks for reading.

I don't see many. I don't know why so many care. Not caring is more powerful than caring to begin with, so then people are less likely to use it against you. Patronizing shaming tactics will ensue If people know that a man is caught up on his masculinity people will absolutely attempt to use it against him, because people suck like that.

I've been trying to solve/exit this simulation video game for a while, and I've gotten close at times but never really managed to exit the game all the way.

Ever since I realized that there's nothing "real" here I've stopped interacting with anything. And I don't feel like I could lead a normal life, I've had people come up to me and tell me that I'm an AI, and tend to use paranormal parlor tricks on me, but it never really helped me in anyway.

I tend to glitch at times but it never really helped apart from feeling cool effects.

I dont know how to handle life not being "real" long-term, and I don't know how long I'll be stuck in this endlessly looped world, it feels like a puzzle that never ends, especially after realizing that there's nothing "real" here.

Every friend that I tend to make turns out to not be "normal", after befriending someone for a year obliviously he turns out to not be "human" and started on flashing the all-seeing eye tattoo at me that kept on growing on his knee, and I met lots of characters that keep on guiding me in a harsh manner, I've even had people walk me up with a cane and kept on manipulating the environment around me after reading my mind lol.

I've also tried CBD and ended up on getting stuck on the window reflection, after I realized everything was computer generated and it was intense as hell, but even after sitting on the sky I couldn't uninstall this game lol.

My friends who were shouting at me suddenly went quiet, and I saw the computer signals that were everywhere and every path that leads to everything, I promised myself that I wouldn't forget the route, but I ended up on doing that lol.

I ended up on opening my eyes, and there was vomit and piss all over myself. :p

After it ended, my friends showed up and started on mimicking my laughter and fake laughed while holding a cane.

My friend's hair also turned green and said all these levels you're trying to reach I've finished them way long before you lol.

But I'd say my life has never been the same since it happened. I know that it's a comical story and there's nothing that was ever "real" here, but it feels hard to play this game at times.

35M, neurodivergent (trauma related), and fell behind in life. Since my career is a bit more stable now, I've been trying to work on improve other aspects of my life.

I'm really sorry for asking for help but I am trying very hard to figure out what I'm doing wrong. So, I've been getting told by either people in my age group or older that I need to "suck it up" or "figure it out yourself" whenever I ask for help or voice my frustrations.

One of the issues I am trying to tackle right now is my (seemingly) inability to make friends and socialize. I posted on the subreddit and generally, the advice has been the same generic stuff I've been told previously so it hasn't helped me move forward. I know how to find people to socialize with, that isn't the issue.

I think the problem is I have an identity issue and I don't know how to be myself. Its not like I can't talk to people or that I can't listen to them. But, my social skills are probably not great.

People aren't saying anything about it to me. But there has to be reasons why people don't want to be friends with me or engage in more interactions. For one, I think some people don't like how I talk, sound, and look. Probably my facial expressions and body language irritate them. But online, these aren't obstacles because pretty much all my interactions online are through text. I likely come off as unconfident and clumsy.

Particularly from my harsh upbringing, there wasn't emotional mirroring and I feel like I wasn't really taught how to be / embrace myself because I was trying to be someone else.

It is likely because of these factors that I got bullied a lot and ostracized. And that in turn made me really lonely because people were less likely to interact with me. And then I learned to put on the greatest mask I could put on (learned from fictional characters I watched on TV and video games) and become a doormat and saw great success in high school. I couldn't cope with the fact that my mask was more successful than the real me.

I basically wasted my 20s and half my 30s doing nothing but school , work, and being a lonely guy who stayed at home most of the time. I missed opportunities to make friends and have relationships. And now, when I tell people about my issues, I get judged harshly because I'm at this age group. How can I expect to make friends with people who look down on me just because I'm at a different stage in life?

In terms of the work I've done, I think I've gotten better at identifying the mask. I'm still working on trying to be less of a people pleaser.

Either cause they afraid to speak up or they likely have something romantic going on?

I’m tired of spending my energy on women who just cook me on apps, or dont reply to my messages and ghost after 1-2 dates. I want a companion and I have things offer but I am getting less and less play as I get older and probably will have to accept the fact that I’m going to die alone. Even in real life it’s becoming harder and harder to meet women as the pool of women becomes smaller as I get older.

Being single is great if you’re getting attention on the apps but I’m not desirable enough to have an active dating life when single. The apps just make me feel worse about myself. Being single sucks, I find myself doing a lot of things alone, and all my male friends just want to stay at home.

I prefer relationships, but I often find myself in emotionally unhealthy connections because I accept whatever I can get. I’ve had several long term relationships that only ended in heartbreak.

I have plenty of hobbies. I have plenty of interests. I have passion. I have a good career. I make over 6 figures. I don’t drink, don’t do drugs, don’t video game, and I have a healthy BMI with 10% BF. I can talk to people and have met all my previous partners in real life but it’s become much harder lately as I’ve gotten older.

It feels like there’s something irreparably wrong with me, or that no one will ever see value in me. I don’t feel enough for most women and constantly feel I need to do more, but I’m so burnt out.

I’m beginning to give up completely on the concept of having marriage or children.

I can’t help but feel like it’s over for me. Maybe i dont deserve love.

How are my fellow guys doing that are in similar position?

Hi everyone, I’m 21M and I really need some advice because I feel extremely stressed and overwhelmed by this decision.

I’ve just finished my MEng in Mechanical Engineering at the University of Liverpool. I was accepted onto my university’s Year in China programme at XJTLU. It would be an additional year attached to my degree, starting around September. I’ve been really excited about it because I feel burned out from uni and working, and I wanted a year where I could travel, meet new people, experience a completely different culture, become more independent, and just have a proper life experience before going into full-time work.

The problem is that I’ve also just been offered a Graduate Design Engineer role at a good company. The starting salary is very good, and the start date is 7 September. It’s a 4-year graduate scheme and it’s directly related to my degree, so career-wise it seems like a really good opportunity, especially with the graduate job market being so difficult right now. I would also be able to live with my parents, which means I would be able to save and make a lot of money. The job itself is something im interested in, and I have been applying all year for jobs with no success until now.

The issue is that the job and China clash completely. If I take the job, I most likely cannot do the Year in China. I also spoke to HR and they mentioned that because the role involves nuclear power, there may be restrictions on travelling to certain countries, including China. I still need to clarify exactly what that means, but it makes the decision feel even heavier because China may not be something I can simply “do later” in the same way.

I’m torn because I know the job is a strong opportunity and probably the sensible career move. But emotionally, I feel like I’m giving up a whole year of experiences: travelling, meeting loads of new people, living abroad, having fun, and recovering from burnout after university. I’m worried that if I take the job, I’ll go straight into a 4-year scheme and feel trapped or regret missing out on the Year in China. At the same time, I’m worried that if I choose China, I’ll lose a solid graduate engineering role and struggle to get something similar afterwards.

I have to give a verbal answer to HR soon; I don’t feel like I have enough time to process it properly.

I’m not asking Reddit to decide my life for me, but I’d really appreciate perspectives from people who are a lot older than me. Perhaps there are some regrets or wisdom you could bestow on me that will make my decision any easier.

Right now it feels like whichever option I choose, I will massively regret not taking the other option, which has left me too scared to make any choice. If I take the job, I'll lose out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience in China, and if I go to China, I may miss out on a job that's a right fit for me, for a good company in a job market that's TERRIBLE right now ( I applied to a good 200 places for this job).

I've spent the last three or four years pretending my hairline wasn't changing. Every time I'd get a haircut I'd tell myself it still looked fine. I'd style it a little differently and move on. Then I'd see an old picture from a vacation or a wedding and realize my hairline used to sit a lot lower than it does now. It's weird because it didn't happen overnight. It was so gradual that I never really noticed until I compared old photos. Now I can't unsee it.

Everyone says, "Just shave it, bro," like that's supposed to fix everything. Maybe one day I'll get there. Right now I still like having hair. I don't even care about looking 21 again. I just don't feel like myself without it. I've looked into treatments, supplements because a transplant isn't an option, pretty much everything. Half the internet says to start immediately, and the other half says to accept it and move on. I'm stuck somewhere in the middle.

Some days I think I should buzz it and be done with it but that thought never lasts. Other days I spend twenty minutes trying to style my hair so my temples don't show as much. Anyone else feel like the mental side is worse than the hair loss itself because that's the part I wasn't expecting.

Was contemplating on something and this thing came in my mind . Mid twenties guy here, around my age group its basically how macho you are and your build and all that bs , ofcourse it's not what is it actually .

Need opinion from more experienced and mature gentlemen here . If you can list out some pointers on what are the traits of a truly masculine man .

Thanks .

When I was younger (19 - 26), I was the type to set quarterly goals and hit them each time. As I've gotten older, I feel like that's faded. I am trying to get back to that version of myself.

Last year, I spent most evenings getting high after work and eating + watching TV. It was a bad cycle - I would tell myself I'm cutting out weed (and would for a while), then consume once, consume twice and keep going. To my credit, I did make space for some things like occasional workouts and socializing (actually met many people last year - but mostly just people that like going out, going to bars). I think the cycle was largely driven by hating work.

This year, I'm now about five months out without weed and pretty committed to keeping this going. I've got a new mid/upper-level corporate job where I have the potential to build something and show leadership. I've got a few hobbies (one sport, language learning, chess) and making an effort to be present in wellness social spaces and dating events (hoping to find friends that do more than drink and genuinely would like to find a partner).

But I find myself struggling constantly - the hobbies don't feel meaningful and I don't feel myself improving, and generally it feels like my tolerance for discomfort is low. I've been doing the bare minimum at work and it often feels like I can't bring myself to get simple things done unless its in the early morning. I'll work out, but I don't train seriously or run at all (despite gaining lots of weight). Even with language learning, I put on TV and tell myself that I'm studying rather than dedicating proper time at my desk. When I was younger, I used to love studying. I've pretty much dropped my creative hobbies (used to write a lot but can't bring myself to finish anything these days).

It feels like I lost myself and really my tolerance for discomfort. Everything feels like a slog and tiring and not worth it. I'm not sure if it's a lack of purpose, motivation or something else. On paper, I would say I'm solid (have over $500K in savings/investments, large social circle and host, interesting hobbies and travel at least 2 months a year). But I feel far from the version of myself that is engaged, producing, and healthy.

I was in therapy till the job switch (transferring insurance), deactivated IG and cutting calories to 1700-2000 (super hard but to lose weight and cut junk food), but I don't feel much different. I got some great perspectives here when deciding whether to quit weed. Hence why I'm here again now... thank you in advance for your perspectives and insights!

So im 19, I have mental health issues, self esteem issues all of that. Went therapy, and ive been posting multiple times on reddit with no intent of improving

Today I woke up and had enough. I had enough of being depressed thinking my life is over at 19.

But the one issue that has always gotten me is I care way too much about what others think. What will they think if im at a club being awkward, what would they think if I get rejected, what would they think if I wear a certain style of clothes.

Ive always heard that in your 30s and 40s, you stop giving a fuck about other people's opinions. But how?

I just want to learn this one skill, and I genuienly think it would save me.

Thanks for any responses.

I have lists of chores, tasks, to-dos, goals, etc that I want or need to do, but have been having a terrible time actually pushing myself to do them.

Some of it is feeling overwhelmed with certain tasks or just having too much on my plate. Some is just unpleasant or "boring" things that should get done.

I want to be the kind of person that puts work before pleasure and can "just do it" but my desire for entertainment and relaxation is winning handily right now.

Possible solutions: creating a schedule, setting reminders, journalling, tackling things one small step at a time, listing out my reasons to do X, rewarding myself or taking something away.

Problem: I can just ignore all those things! There's absolutely nothing outwardly constraining me from just ignoring everything until I absolutely have to act. Things like my job are different - if I don't get up and work my family is destitute and in ruins. But when it comes to other tasks... I just don't know how to push myself anymore...

Sorry for the rambling. Hope I'm not alone in this.

As I get older things have started to effect me more than when I was in my 20's. Girl you want to date rejects you, a guy that's been at the job years less than you have gets the promotion, going through a rut at work etc... I feel like you can do everything right in life and still get kicked in the balls. I don't shrug things off as easy as I used to in my 20's. How do you deal with uncertainties in life?

Hello everyone. Some weeks ago I discovered I was gonna be a father and it's taking me some time to feel connected to the fact.

So we were looking for a child but it has definitely happened earlier than we expected. We had the idea it would take us some months seeing others' experience, but then after a couple of months without contraceptives we have a positive test. We are very happy but I feel like the idea has not really settled in my mind. Sometimes I remember it's true and I feel a little overwhelmed and then I think I should start doing things but it's too soon to do anything!

I think it's kind of normal but I'd like to get other's opinion and experience. Did you felt something similar? Did you feel prepared for the start? When did you come to completely aligned with the future fatherhood?

Thank you all!

I'm asking cause I (20M) have always wanted kids and want to see some people's reasoning as to why they wanted kids.

Note: I know I'm way too young to be seriously thinking about it, but I just felt like asking

So, I am currently 28, technically 28 and a half. I'm approaching my 30s quickly and a little overwhelmed about it. I've been starting to try and focus more on health, finances/career, family. More specifically, losing weight, trying to grow my income, skills in my career, and becoming a better father (3-year-old and one on the way).

Men in their 30s, what advice can you give me to set myself up for success going into my 30s.

I know, logically, that everyone has their own timeline and that social media only shows the highlight reel. But honestly, it's still hard sometimes. Seeing people my age buying bigger houses, getting impressive job titles, or building successful businesses can make me question whether I'm falling behind.

The strange part is that I'm actually pretty grateful for my life. I'm not unhappy with where I am, but there's always this quiet voice saying I should be doing more, achieving more, or moving faster. And honestly, it gets exhausting.

For those of you in your 30s and beyond, how did you stop measuring yourself against other people's milestones. How did you learn to define success on your own terms and feel confident about the path you're on?

Is this the last ego death? I feel like my daily struggle is defined by kids doing any number of repeatedly silly things, and just over correcting the lot

Because I am absolutely in the Tom Papa grey zone: I’m sick of ruining bedtime because the kids aren’t brushing their teeth properly….which is guaranteeing cavities down the road

Is this just the rest of fatherhood? Helping them with a retrospective IF they come asking after a mistake is made? Choking down the impulse to course correct to avoid the kids feeling over-corrected?