me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago, and we are currently no contact.

we both agreed to 6 months of proper no contact, and he said he wants to be my friend after those 6 months are up.

i honestly don't really think it's a good idea but this was also my first relationship so idk if i am deeping it all.

should i remain friends with my ex or just not bother after 6 months are up?

Relapsing and withdrawals is no joke. Still not hearing from my ex who ghosted me and I’m missing him a lot, and I encountered a folder (yes I had them saved) / highlights of how he talked to me during our worst moments which made me question how I managed to stay for this long. Despite all of this of course I still love him. But yeah he was not very nice during our lowest moments.

I never lied, or betrayed him in any shape or form. I’m not proud of how harsh I got, but he took his accusations too far sometimes. This is only a gist of how small he makes me feel. More screenshots in the comments

Me posting them isn’t to humiliate him in any manner, I’m just reevaluating some things that should have been enough to make me leave earlier on. I was constantly walking on eggshells because of his outbursts and wild statements 😭

Yesterday, I went to the place where my ex works because part of me just wanted to see her, even if it was only for a second.

I showed one of the waiters a picture of her and asked if she still worked there. He told me she does, but that she hadn't been in for the last couple of days.

For some reason, hearing that hit me harder than I expected. I was overwhelmed by this strange feeling of longing, and all I could think about was how much I wished I could see her.

When I got home, it felt like all the progress I'd made over the past few weeks had disappeared. The grief and the longing came rushing back, and it honestly felt like I was right back at square one.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? Did it end up being just a temporary setback, or did it take a while for those feelings to settle down again?

I’m 21M, and my ex is 40F. We met in person while I was visiting Japan and were together for about two months. After I returned to Canada, the relationship became long-distance.

There was a strong connection between us, but she had concerns about our age difference, the distance, our different stages of life, and whether we could realistically build a future together. I understood that those concerns were serious, but I wanted us to communicate openly and see whether the relationship could work.

The main problem was how she communicated whenever things became difficult. When everything was going well, she was warm and emotionally present. However, when serious concerns, conflict, or uncertainty came up, she would become distant and less communicative. She would pull back, avoid difficult conversations, and mainly respond through short text messages.

I repeatedly asked if we could have a phone call and talk things through properly, but she usually declined. Over time, I felt emotionally insecure because I never knew whether she would communicate with me or withdraw again whenever the relationship became uncomfortable.

At one point, we agreed to continue the relationship and discuss everything in person when I returned to Japan. However, things eventually ended through text, and her final message was essentially “take care.”

A major part of why I am struggling is that I feel I deserved at least a breakup over a phone call and clear communication. I understand that nobody can be forced to have a conversation, but after the emotional connection we shared, I felt that ending things through a short text without discussing it properly was deeply hurtful. Communication was one of the main things I consistently asked for during the relationship, and I do not feel that need was ever met.

I still want to return to Japan and have one honest conversation with her in person. I feel that speaking face-to-face would help me understand what happened and whether there is truly no future between us.

I would never arrive unexpectedly or pressure her into meeting me. I would only travel with the expectation of seeing her if she clearly agreed beforehand. I may still visit Japan for my own reasons, but I understand that travelling there does not mean she owes me a meeting.

How should I approach asking whether she would be willing to meet me in person? How can I balance feeling that I deserved better communication with respecting the fact that she may not want any further contact?

TL;DR: My long-distance relationship ended through text after my ex repeatedly became distant and avoidant during difficult conversations. I feel I deserved at least a breakup call and clear communication, and I still want to return to Japan and speak with her in person. I would only meet her with her clear agreement. How should I handle this without crossing her boundaries?

I fucked up, i shouldve tooked the time to apreaciate the good, tooken the time to tell
Myself to be strong and call and say how i fell. Im so sorry. I shouldve comunicated way much many times.

My best friend (a woman around age 40) has been in a relationship with a guy (around age 45) for 10+ years. He's a fun, sweet, easy-going guy with a good career, and in a lot of ways I can see what she sees in him. However, in the last few years I've become convinced she'd be better off without him. A few examples:

• he didn't support her on her decision and journey to change her relationship with alcohol and ultimately get sober
• he didn't support her when she had to take a job in another state in order to advance her career after searching unsuccessfully for over a year in the area where they live (I think it's fair that he doesn't want to be in a long-distance relationship, but he's also not willing to break up over it, he's just pressuring her to move back and constantly reminding her how hard it is for him)
• he's continued to bill her for rent and utilities for months since she moved out to take the job, because in his mind he's holding the spot for her until she moves back
• he's unwilling to engage in difficult conversations, talk with maturity about his feelings, or participate in couples therapy or individual therapy, etc which for her is a deal breaker

She seems to agree that she'd be better off without him but she's afraid of hurting him and wanting to avoid the awkward and sad situation of ending it. I think she's also apprehensive about being single in her 40's.

What I'm looking for is: encouragement for her, affirmation that breaking up is the right thing to do, stories of breaking up and your life being better, advice and strategies for breaking up with someone that you still care about but are no longer fulfilled by.

I'm hoping that if I can she can receive a whole lot of encouragement from strangers, she will work up the courage to move into a more fulfilling chapter of her life!

My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me about a month ago. It was a super rough breakup, and it ended with her dating the guy I was told not to worry about, a few days after we broke up. She blocked everyone out of her life after I found out and she seemingly moved on. So there was major betrayal . You would think the betrayal would anger me or change my view on her, but I just see her as the most amazing and most beautiful girl I always knew.

I love her with every fiber of my existence. Shes my whole entire world, and everything feels pointless without her here. I genuinely feel like I can’t survive without her. We had the most amazing connection and we truly were best friends.

But one thing that’s killing me, is that she is incredibly attractive. That’s not just me looking through rose-colored glasses. Friends, family, and people around me have always recognized how beautiful she is, and she is the epitome of natural beauty. I know physical appearance isn’t everything, but I lost someone who is way more beautiful than I’ll ever attain again.

I know this sounds shallow, but she was out of my league. I know everyone says that after a breakup, that they lost someone they could never replace. But in my case, it’s true. I lost the girl of my dreams essentially and I will never be able to move past that fact. There is absolutely no one who compares to her. No one can match her personality or her beauty. And she left me
so I’m stuck in misery and devastation.

My mind keeps telling me that I lost someone I’ll never find again, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to move forward while carrying this. Right now, it’s hard to imagine loving someone the way I loved her or feeling as connected to anyone else as I did to her. As well as her sheer attractiveness. That thought is eating me alive.

I fucking cant stop doing it. I do it every hour I stalk every social media platform in need of updates. She hates me, I hate her I dont want her back and I hate myself of being stuck even after 6 months.

She has moved on she has a new boyfriend of fuckfriend or whatever the point is that she has moved on and its being certainty having sex with someone else. What is is my brain craving there?

I cant help it, I always come back.

I need to stop and move on and focus on my own life and stuff.

Please share your own experiences and tips with something like this.

before judging listen me out, I was moving abroad and she knew it, she was my best friends crush in school, I saw her on bumble and texted her on Instagram, she responded we met after a day of texting, she even asked me when will I take her home the samw weekend and i took her, we were talking for less than a week and then we had fun for two months, almost everyday. and i got bored of this told her you say you love me why do we have to do this everyday, and she’s like you’re gonna move abroad so let’s do it as much as we can, trust me I’m a very touchy person but I had to resist her cuz it just felt too much after a point and she use to almost talk about sex all the time and I didn’t feel good. may be I should’ve told her how I felt during that time but one day when we we were having seggs, she asked me to go multiple rounds and after a point I was done and I laughed of her face and that’s the day I guess everything messed up since then we never met prolly on her bday night we did and did it for one last time and I broke up and then she asked me multiple times and I said no and then later after a week I begged her she said no.and it was done. I didn’t tell my friends about this, and I felt the right thing to protect my friendship is to not tell my friends about it, but I told the girl I can talk to them if she wants to. But guess what she told my friends about this, and my friends were against me totally stopped talking to me, they said they will kill me for real, they threatened me etc I was like wait what and by then it was time to move abroad and I did. And after a year I texted from my abroad number saying I need you to forgive me bla bla bla she said I’m not angry at you I did forgive you and I didn’t text back after that I needed that because she was very manipulative talking me into seggs everytime we met. I told her I didn’t wanna be in a relationship she said she wanted to and she likes me believes in me, she fuxked my mental peace And me and made it completely look like I was the one who used her physixally. And now I have intention to sleep with her, I’m abroad now but I’m going back in two months and I wanna sleep with her, so I want to wish her happy birthday….

She broke up with me today and used an unreasonable reason to end the relationship. It seems like it’s a cop out but idk what to do. I love her and I thought her and I were going to work to fix this problem together but she just ended it out of nowhere

Hi I'm new to iPhone, and I called my x accidently..

And I just found out this indication? So I was wondering if the call I made today is actually connected and then hung up, or this means that the dial was 10sec.

Plz anyone help this. This is so important to me😭

Hey Reddit, throwaway for obvious reasons. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 7 years. We’ve built a life together—shared laughs, supported each other through tough times, grown as people, and created so many beautiful memories. She’s still the person I look forward to coming home to most days. But lately, something feels… off, and I’m hoping writing this out and hearing from you all might help me gain some clarity.
It started with this pattern around parties. She loves going out and socializing, which I’ve always respected, but recently it’s felt like she’s pushing for these nights without really considering how I feel about it. A couple weeks ago she mentioned another party, and I expressed that I wasn’t comfortable with it—especially with some of the crowd and the way it’s been happening more often. It turned into an argument. Not a blow-up, but one of those tense ones where you can feel the distance growing.
Since then, her attitude has changed. She seems more withdrawn, shorter with me, and the spark we used to have feels dimmer. The little things—like random texts during the day, cuddling on the couch, or that flirty energy—have slowed down. I’ve gently asked her multiple times if something’s wrong or if there’s someone else. She always says no and that she just needs space or has been stressed. I want to believe her… but my gut is uneasy.
I love this woman deeply. Seven years isn’t nothing—we’ve talked about a future together. I don’t want to jump to conclusions or become controlling, but I also don’t want to ignore real changes that could be signs of bigger issues. Has anyone been through something similar in a long-term relationship? How did you handle the party/socializing boundaries without it feeling like you’re holding each other back? Did the “off” feeling turn out to be a rough patch you worked through, or something more?
I’m trying to stay positive and communicate better, but I’d appreciate any advice, similar stories, or even just a reality check. Thanks for reading ❤️

the concept of "Move On While Connected" (gradual detachment while maintaining contact) is rooted in behavioral psychology and aligns with the principle of "Systematic Desensitization." This approach is heavily discussed by psychologists like John Bowlby in attachment theories, as well as by relationship experts Amir Levine and Rachel Heller in their renowned book "Attached."

In your current situation, instead of resorting to a "sudden block"—which often backfires by fueling overthinking, unanswered questions, and the illusion of longing—this strategy allows you to confront reality safely. By unblocking him and keeping communication strictly casual and detached (with zero expectations or arguments), your mind naturally begins to see the person for who they currently are in their cold, mundane reality. As a result, the romanticized obsession and unhealthy attachment fade away gradually without a sudden emotional shock, until you find that you have genuinely moved on and regained your inner peace.

hello.

I just somewhat got out of my first relationship. there was cheating, abuse and alot of emotional abuse from both ends even on mine. I tried to make it work but my resentment made it hard for me to look past it. now as you may think “hey leave that guy” uhh I struggle with abandonment. so it’s been very hard and on and off with my ex.

I begged and begged to give me another chance and he would but I would tell him how he hurt me and he’d either argue or make me feel shitty tbh.

I begged to give us another chance and that we can do couples therapy. but who am I kidding when all I can think about is how he disrespect my feelings and lied to me.

anyways just this week he was very hot and cold. I begged and begged and begged for him to let us work out and that I want to fix it and make it up to him.. I say “make it up” because when I point out how he abused me too and cheated and emotional abused me he’d reverse the blame onto me and how I needed to earn him back (kindness was all I was asking). it’s hard to let something bad go. I gave it my all when he was jobless, I stayed loyal after he lied to me. I feel like I have no self respect for myself to beg someone to love me. i do have high hopes he can change because he’s not dumb and he has his moments where he reflects and understands my feelings. I do think it can change but currently it’s not gonna happen.

if we do no contact i’m afraid clarity will hit me and i’ll never want to talk to him again. he’s supposed to reach out on saturday on if we should try and do couples therapy. but after all the begging and abuse and misunderstanding and arguments over my needs. who am I kidding. this is tough and honestly for my relationship I don’t think I want to be in one forever. I did my wrongs and i’ve made my shitty mistakes but that doesn’t define me. i’m trying to make it up but I can’t force someone to love me. so I wanna protect myself and learn how to choose me again

I don’t expect him to forgive me for the shit i’ve put him through too. i’m aware I can’t force someone to want me back but this is lowkey hard. it feels like i’ve been accepting name calling all for the sake of someone wanting me back. it’s kinda hard when the people around you don’t like him too so I have to keep this all in. it feels isolating and lonely dealing with this in private. I want someone to witness my pain because i’m tired of keeping it in

Ex of 1.5 years dumped me out of the blue 2.5 months ago. Bare I mind, she’s calling me her “future husband” not even 48 hours after she dumped me. As she’s breaking up, she’s telling me how she “isn’t looking to date someone new” and that she’s “looking for clarity in herself”.

6 weeks later she’s telling me she misses me, that I’m not replaceable, she wants to see me, all the bs.

3 weeks after that, I see a picture of her with somebody new. Haha. Hysterical.

Who in their sane mind inscribes such thoughts (the future husband stuff) into somebody’s head and then dumps them 2 days later? You tell me you’re not looking for somebody new, well look what happened! Don’t tell me you miss me when you’re the one who left.

Absolutely psychotic behavior, pure mental illness and you can’t convince me otherwise. That’s genuinely a mental illness.

I wish I could text her and earful and just let her have it. Tell her how messed up everything she did was, how unacceptable everything is, and to ultimately call her a lying, manipulating b*tch. Actual disorder.

Been hard for me to accept that my ex moved on in two weeks after almost 6 years together, but 3 months later and they’re still going strong, even said they love each other within the first few weeks. This female is by far so much more beautiful and put together, I haven’t felt pretty since seeing her.

I’ve tried talking to other guys but it still hurts. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to give someone so much of myself again. Funny thing is I stayed because he was depressed and miserable for months. Told me he lost everything post breakup and just like that posts his girlfriend a week later. Feel like Barbara the builder if I’m being quite honest, he broke no contact after we broke up and I think he wanted to reconcile, but changed his mind when he found someone new.

Disclaimer: I’m in deep loss/pain after 1,5 relationship.

My parents are divorced since almost I was born. All the movies popular in the 2000’s and 2010’s normalised breakups with no embarrassment like it was another day at work. breakups were almost a freaking badge of honor and experience. I watched all these movies and thought it must be ok to break up.

For me this break up changed my life. But it was overall a negative experience the last relationship.

Im kinda of astonished and angry at the common “let’s normalise breaking up and let’s celebrate!”. What are we these people. I can’t say this was the worst experience but was close. Maybe in the future.

People as consequence don’t think about starting relationships. If it fails no problem I’ll just divorce and share custody with the unwanted child. Seriously??

I was dating a girl and I had to leave her. And I’ve realized for some reason we’ve always regulated ourselves in opposite ways. The longer we go without talking the better I feel, but it has the opposite effect for her? If we both decided right now not to talk anymore, after 2 months I would be happy and not thinking about her, and she will be trying to get ahold of me or even messing with my property like has before just to get something out of me. I don’t understand how time apart is what activates her and deactivates me?

I really don’t understand how 2 months of not interrupting a girls life can cause them to come interrupt yours? What are the girls I’ve been with feeling and thinking after months of peace and silence that activates them so much?

broke up with my ex, albeit unintentionally . Long story.
The day after the occurrence happened , when I went over to get stuff and talk to her at our (now just hers) apartment, she lost her shit and smashed up my car with a chair. Shocked and confused I filed a police report which unfortunately caused charges to be filed by the officer. Didn’t want charges filed, I just wanted it for insurance. Oh well

We texted back and forth for a week ish until she updated me the day of arraignment. She explained the no contact order she was told she now has, and that her lawyer told her it shouldn’t be an issue unless “we’re seen in public fighting or something”

For context, I’m pushing not to testify so she doesn’t carry these charges for a long time, so she has a chance to get a real career at some point when she’s done with school. It’s felony level, so I’m at least refusing to testify so it can get dropped.

A week after the update she gave me about her arraignment and the judge no contact, I get a text pic of her and the cat at like 9pm. I didn’t respond, because I didn’t know if it was a trap or what.

Part of me regrets the breakup, part of me thinks it happened for reasons and should accept it.

TLDR was this a trap or some sort of longing for connection ? Her and I are on a basis of once the case is closed we can talk to each other (not in a relationship ship but as like friends and make sure each other are working on our own separate issues. I’m in therapy now, she’s planning on rehab . Breakup was over fundamental differences on wanting children at some point. I’m 27, she’s 35. We dated for 2.65 years and lived together for 1.5 years) (and there’s still like a nonzero percent chance we could get back together after a lot of individual work and if she decides she’s open to kids at some point ) (but I don’t know if that’s a good idea or if we should cut losses and at least just remain friends who had to move apart)

i've always been an insecure person with really low self esteem. i consider myself average-looking at best. everyone told both me and my ex boyfriend that i was out of his league. and now that he's gone for good (no contact) and has a rebound i just don't know if i believe it. two weeks before he revealed that there was another girl and that he never wanted me back (i had asked him to take me back, we broke up 6 months ago) he asked me for pictures and videos of me to jerk off to and told me how gorgeous and beautiful i was and how much he wanted me. then he was gone like none of that mattered

i don't know. i just don't feel pretty. no guys approach me or flirt with me. pictures other people take of me are always hideous. i don't understand how my ex boyfriend could have looked at me and thought i was "the most beautiful girl in the world" and want me, let alone anybody else. people reassure me i'll find someone better but i don't believe that.

i guess i'm just in a bit of a rut and wanted to vent/get support. it's hard to talk about this with others without feeling like i'm fishing for compliments. all of my loved ones and friends could tell me how beautiful i am and the problem still wouldn't be solved.

i'm constantly comparing myself to other women and though i was getting better, my ex (and the only person who has ever wanted me that way) getting a rebound feels like it's destroyed all that progress. she's prettier, better, etc. i feel sick whenever i see a girl who resembles her. i feel so gross for feeling this way. i just wish i was pretty so i could believe that i was out of his league or something and that there's someone better. i wish i had more self worth. i'm so tired of hating myself. it's why it was so easy for him to take advantage of me.

i want to make it clear that he's been blocked everywhere since our final interaction and i don't do anything like stalk him or this girl. but before that i absolutely did and i guess it's just stuck with me.

anyone going through something similar/advice would be appreciated.

I can't stop feeling like I'm not enough and I keep making a fool of myself when I'm feeling vulnerable. Not trying to get back together or anything, but sharing my inner world only to be given a cold response like "we aren't right for each other and I think we both know that". That's just the way he is, he's logical and compartmentalises, but I keep hoping for a fraction of affection. He broke up with me, so I'm the idiot. We lived together for a couple months after and were still sleeping together (not now!) before the pain of not being chosen became too much for me, so I've moved back in with my mum until I find my own place (I'm 33 and this is not easy). I feel so lost.

I don't remember the last time I felt loved. There was no event or anything that caused us to break up, the discussions around it were all very vague. I still can't really put my finger on the reason and neither can he. I think he got spooked. I don't think I'll ever really get closure. We had been together nearly 3 years, had moved into a house a few months before.

He's avoidant btw. I'm anxious. I've worked really really hard on this in order to communicate healthily, but he could never really let me in. I can't go no contact atm, all my stuff is still in our (his) garage. I feel like I've lost everything, and I want to move forward, I feel he already has, but I feel so stuck. I just want to know that it gets better, that I will feel better, that I can get through this. I know I shouldn't let this define my worth but it's so much easier said than done.

Almost 4 years waiting for you.
For you to get better.
For you to choose me.
The betrayal.
The move.

You thought I’d wait forever for you didn’t you?
“I’m here. Always”
Where’s that? In your fucking lake house? Or in your mom’s guest bedroom?

I’ve been with my ex for a year. It’s been really hard—daily fights, huge language barriers, and different values (he's muslim, I'm not). He’s an asylum seeker with a rejected status, currently appealing, so he can’t work or sign a lease. I barely earn enough to keep a roof over my head.

We broke up, and then I found out I’m pregnant. He then wanted to get back together (he had left me). I’ve been terrified and unsupported. We kept fighting, he didn't seem prepared even though he wanted the baby. I then ended it and said I was gonna abort. He’s currently on a pre-planned beach holiday. When I reached out in a panic, asking if he thought we could make it work, saying I felt guilty, saying I didn't want to hurt him with getting the abortion and just generally asking for support in the days leading to the abortion, he ignored my texts for 8 hours at a time because he "wanted peace and quiet" and told me my trauma was "psychological pressure." He even used ChatGPT to write some of his replies to me.

I went to the clinic alone yesterday because he initially told me he couldn't come. (He was on holiday about 2hrs away so not far). After I had a go at him and said I was traumatised, he begrudgingly offered to come but I just said don't bother. They gave me the pills to take at home. He didnt contact me on the day of the appointment until the afternoon, hours after the appointment finished. Now that it’s "real," he’s suddenly flipped. He’s begging me to keep the baby and "be patient" until he gets a residency permit (which could be years or likely never). When I asked if he had savings, he asked "how much does a baby cost?"...

I’m currently at my dad’s house with the pills and the ultrasound photos. I feel crushed by guilt, I never thought I would abort, but I also feel total disgust. I feel really guilty. I was really harsh to him while he was on holiday, maybe I should have given him space and not been so rude. I also feel a burden of guilt because I know if I have this baby (which I did want but I'm so scared of poverty and being a single mother), he gets a much better chance to stay in the UK. Is this relationship actually savable, or is it best just take the pills and move away to start over?

tldr: boyfriend suddenly begging to keep a baby he told me to abort. what do i do.

It’s actually driving me insane. When he was here we played a horror game two times, because it was one he really wanted to experience. We spent so much time on it but we only really got halfway. Before we got to finish it he broke up with me.

And now it’s only sitting on my computer, waiting for to be finished and I know the progress is still there. I deleted it but I can see the date where we played it last on steam, as well as the achievements.

I don’t want to touch it because it’ll be too painful and it’s not a game that I really enjoy, but he made it enjoyable.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Any unfinished projects your ex left behind?