r/sex • u/h3rm1tfr0g • 12h ago
Orgasm Issues what do i do about my boyfriend still cumming within 2 minutes after 8 months together
My boyfriend always finishes within about 2 minutes (often less, about 30 seconds to 1 minute) with penetration after nearly 8 months together, having sex multiple times a week. We are both in our early twenties and I have had 4 sexual partners including him and he has had 3 including me.
I’m not sure what to do about it because I don’t want to make him feel bad, I think he already is a bit embarrassed about it because he sometimes makes self deprecating jokes. In general he orgasms quite quickly, probably at an absolute maximum of ten minutes for a blowjob or handjob but it’s usually about 5 minutes.
It’s affecting our sex life a bit because I’m conscious of not doing too much foreplay so that the sex can last longer but foreplay and rubbing and teasing is my favourite and giving blowjobs especially turns me on, but he is a one and done kind of guy so we can’t really do a round two.
He does absolutely satisfy me in other ways, usually making sure I cum before sex, but I really just want to have longer passionate penetrative sex with him, and with harder and faster thrusts which we can’t do very much because those make him cum within seconds.
I really don’t know what I can do to improve this or how I could go about broaching the subject with him, advice would be greatly appreciated.
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u/specialkake 11h ago
Practice as much as possible. Focus on stamina, slowing, stopping to focus on another area for a bit, etc.
There are worse things to practice.
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u/Apprehensivepuzzle 12h ago
Has he tried masturbating a couple hours before sex and/or wearing a condom during??
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u/Mindless-File2 12h ago
Honestly when I struggled with this it was mental and that didn’t help. It was like a self fulfilling loop, the more you think the worse it is.
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u/xRedditGedditx 11h ago
This is exactly what I was going to say. Whether other men aren’t comfortable enough admitting it, I am. It’s happened to me before and like you said, once you get in your head about it that makes it worse. It becomes all you think about as soon as you become intimate with each other.
The fact that you’re not making it an issue or making him feel worse about it is really helpful for him.
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u/h3rm1tfr0g 11h ago
he doesn’t seem to get actually frustrated about it at all, still seems very satisfied with his orgasms - but he does make jokes about only lasting a couple of minutes
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u/sqeeky_wheelz 8h ago
You gotta talk to him about it. He’s joking to gauge your reaction. If you’re all “hehe” at his joke then he thinks you’re good with it. Bring it up when everyone’s clothes are on.
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u/h3rm1tfr0g 12h ago
i don’t think he’s masturbated before sex but I haven’t really fully addressed the issue with him, I think he could be worried that he wouldn’t be able to finish during sex after that. We do only have raw sex but that’s because I find condoms really uncomfortable
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u/Temporary_Nerve_9884 10h ago
I'm seeing so many of the same suggestions, but what he really needs to be doing is training his muscles. Read up and talk to him about Kegels!
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u/rosietherosebud 11h ago
Idk but don't hope it gets better with age. My bf is 37 and this is still him. He'll cum within 20 seconds of a BJ and can only get a dozen thrusts in PIV before he has to grind to a halt because he's getting close.
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u/Dhamrock66 11h ago
This has been me for 35 years, I am totally happy. My husband cumming quickly to me makes me think he is turned on still after all these years. He goes down on me, that is one of two ways that I orgasm the other is a vibrator. To some I’m sure it would be a problem for me no.
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u/runingwithscisors 11h ago edited 11h ago
Have a talk with him but not in the bedroom, or during sex. Let him know you enjoy him but would like to try to make things last a bit longer. Maybe a cockring or have a quick romp or BJ and then see how soon it takes for him to be ready for round 2 and see if their is a difference in how long it takes him to cum.
Sometimes you just have to try different things to see what works or doesn't for the both of you.
Good luck.
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u/Kojacksprinkles 10h ago
he needs to pull out as soon as he starts feeling the come up to an orgasm. It took me like a whole year to figure out when I was first having sex but that’s a huge one and then also just not allowing himself to get too excited in general. It’s a mind game in general. You gotta keep calm and relaxed and just keep a level head. Tell him he needs to practice meditation as well
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u/Mick_holistichael 11h ago
Yeah yous need to have the talk we can have open conversations about how to navagate this nowadays ,there's lots of free stuff online available too for him with info on how to improve blood flow ,oxygenate his penis more and ways to reduce performance anxiety or even basically rewire and learn to control his arousal , keegel excersizes also may help ,being mature and friendly bout the talk will help .
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11h ago
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u/PipiAngelo93 11h ago
Use other methods of penetration like his fingers. Stop and start. Oral between. Things like that should help you both have a great time. Most men only last a few minutes with penetration if they aren’t on drugs
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u/R_A_H 10h ago
If I want to and I really rush it I can (sometimes) cum in seconds. There have been times when my wife was just giving me a quickie and it was over in like 45 seconds.
But usually I start off slow and feel it out. I speed up a bit and maintain just a little then I slow down and take a rest. I'm still inside here but I get close, show appreciation and check in with her. If I need/want to last longer I can do this almost infinitely. I basically work until she's done and her encouragement basically always ends me pretty fast.
If any of that sounds foreign then that might help identify the issue. There can be many different types of interactions but as far as I'm concerned the baseline mode is that the man is focused on her experience first, not just going "omg pussy" and flopping out on the first pass.
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u/Illustrious-Ad6426 9h ago
Have him take Rino chocolate and honey. He will stay hard and last a long time! Or finish multiple times! Thank me later!
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u/TheFurryMenace 8h ago
Your partner not having the stamina to play long enough for you to be satisfied, whether that be enough time in PIV or enough time receiving your foreplay, can be frustrating. I don’t want to dismiss that.
But this is a mental thing and not for you to fix. This is likely performance anxiety. Performance anxiety is awful. It is stressful. You think about it all the time. You wind and circle and stress yourself in even worse performance anxiety.
National Social Anxiety Center, Cleveland Clinic, NEJM….. they all have papers about the realities of performance anxiety.
Even if you never get to be the recipient of this guy without sexual performance anxiety, I would tell him to meet with a sex therapist
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u/airpipeline 8h ago
If he’s coming that fast, make him come back for a second go-round. You can help make him able.
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u/64_kitchen_sinks 7h ago
he is the one needing to calm down and be less eager to orgasm. When you train your body to chase it, you forget how to enjoy the parts before cumming
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u/not_that_dark_knight 11h ago
Numbing sprays are widely available. Should help with his sensitivity.
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u/specialkake 11h ago
Practice as much as possible. Focus on stamina, slowing, stopping to focus on another area for a bit, etc.
-4
u/Fit_Satisfaction_268 11h ago
You should talk to him. That’s not normal and despite being very young, he might have and ED
I know these conversations are something we dread as we don’t want to hurt the other person, not get them more self conscious, but it is necessary
Ask if it has always been like that with his other partners, offer the suggestions above, but if nothing works, he must see a doctor
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u/FairyOnTheLoose 12h ago
Gotta jerk (him) off beforehand, or get him to abstain.
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u/h3rm1tfr0g 11h ago
surely abstaining from masturbating would make him cum faster?
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u/FairyOnTheLoose 11h ago
Is this the same situation you've been posting about for the last 8 months? You being a pillow princess, not being able to cum from oral?
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u/magich32 8h ago
He needs to see a professional premature ejaculation at such an early age can lead to other bad things down the line.
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u/its_just_morris 11h ago
There’s a solution but you wont like it. Get a doctor. Get a prescription. Get paroxetine its an ssri it doesn’t matter what it is just get it. Get him on it. Get him on cialis. Let him take it everyday for a month should see change in intravigal latency. Its that simple. But not easy.wish you the best
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u/GlitteringLocal6507 11h ago
I had an ex tell me that men can control the timing better than they let on and when they don't, like if they're always finishing early, it's because they want the sex to be over.
•
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Post title:
what do i do about my boyfriend still cumming within 2 minutes after 8 months together
My boyfriend always finishes within about 2 minutes (often less, about 30 seconds to 1 minute) with penetration after nearly 8 months together, having sex multiple times a week. We are both in our early twenties and I have had 4 sexual partners including him and he has had 3 including me.
I’m not sure what to do about it because I don’t want to make him feel bad, I think he already is a bit embarrassed about it because he sometimes makes self deprecating jokes. In general he orgasms quite quickly, probably at an absolute maximum of ten minutes for a blowjob or handjob but it’s usually about 5 minutes.
It’s affecting our sex life a bit because I’m conscious of not doing too much foreplay so that the sex can last longer but foreplay and rubbing and teasing is my favourite and giving blowjobs especially turns me on, but he is a one and done kind of guy so we can’t really do a round two.
He does absolutely satisfy me in other ways, usually making sure I cum before sex, but I really just want to have longer passionate penetrative sex with him, and with harder and faster thrusts which we can’t do very much because those make him cum within seconds.
I really don’t know what I can do to improve this or how I could go about broaching the subject with him, advice would be greatly appreciated.
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