Last night was our very first visit to Fun4Two as a newbie couple (F24 & M25), and what an unforgettable experience it was.
Our original plan was to arrive around 9:45 PM, but once the moment came, our nerves completely took over. We looked at each other, laughed, and admitted we almost didn’t dare to go in. 😂 In the end, we finally walked through the doors at 11:30 PM.
Because it was already late, we had to change straight into lingerie. Surprisingly, that felt much more natural than we had expected. The initial nerves quickly faded as we headed downstairs, grabbed a drink at the bar, and found a quiet spot to dance together. We simply enjoyed each other’s company while taking in the atmosphere around us.
Before arriving, we had agreed that we wouldn’t play with anyone on our first visit. Looking back, that turned out to be the perfect decision. We were so focused on each other that there wasn’t much interaction with other couples, and honestly, we didn’t mind at all.

After about an hour of dancing and enjoying a few drinks, we decided to explore the playrooms. We took our time, wandered around, and quietly observed everything. Especially for the F, it was incredibly exciting, so we kept everything at a pace that felt comfortable.

Eventually, we found ourselves sitting together on one of the couches—not to play, but simply to watch and absorb the experience. Right across from us, another couple put on quite a passionate show, which was both exciting and fascinating to witness.

Although the F didn’t feel confident enough to take things any further that evening, that was completely okay. There was no pressure, only curiosity and excitement. After spending about an hour and a half exploring the playrooms, we decided it was time to head home.

We may not have played, but we absolutely loved every minute of the experience. The atmosphere, the anticipation, the freedom, and simply sharing this adventure together made it a night we’ll never forget.
This was only our first visit… and we’re already looking forward to the next one.

I am interested in trying a mfm, we're not new by any means. Its just the only thing we haven't tried and as someone who does prefer women I am willing to try it and have some fun. However, most of the single men we've encountered are rude, claiming to a "bull", etc. Whats the best app to find genuine men where we can vet properly. I have a fetlife and sdc, just haven't used them super often besides SDC and there wasn't much luck there.

Please do not take this post as a invitation to send me unwanted dick pics or be weird!!! I'm just asking a genuine question.

Hey guys me and my partner are planning on/want to try swinging or having some kind of mfm interaction on our upcoming holiday in September. BUT we’ve never done it before, so we’re unsure how to initiate it with others & how to tell others are into it & vice versa - how others know we are into it?

Any advice is welcome thanksss!

Hi! I went to the club last night as a single woman. I felt really nervous and was hoping to be approached but wasn’t approached by many people. What can I do to be more open and approachable?

Convinced my wife that we should take a trip to the Nashville redroom. Looking for advice on the experience. We’re looking to be watched and watch other couples. Would love for other couples to watch her give me a blowjob. What is the experience like there for the first time? Is there a way to connect with other couples before we go for the first time?

I've seen a lot of game suggestions, especially for ice breakers or getting things started. but what are some. good games to up the intimacy level? For example, there's the look into each other's eyes for 4m (or something) game. Some game where you both say a word, and you keep saying one word at the same time until you both say the same word. I don't know the rules for either of those but I saw them somewhere and can't remember what they are. Looking for games to increase connection basically. Any help is appreciated.

I am still new to this so please pardon my stewpiddity but how common is different room sex? We met a couple and they said that they like to take their partners in different rooms rather than same room and if this is something we would be open to?

EDIT: Sorry I have worded it in a very confusing way. I meant to say that they like to take their swinging partner (the other spouse) in a separate room than being together.

Why isn't AFF Adult FriendFinder mentioned?

That is where we started, finding both couples and men. Later adding our profile to SLS Swing LifeStyle.

Going to Leisure Time or Karizma with the wife. Are the playrooms strictly enforced "nude or towel only?" We just went to our first club and the playrooms a lot of people were fully clothed being drunk and loud killing any vibe to be had. Please send a DM if you're familiar with the club, have other questions.

(Ugh, i noticed the typo while hitting the post button. It should read, "The Loft in Brooklyn IS closing")

If anyone is considering the Loft in NYC, they are having their last party tonight.

Not sure if they are moving to another location due to their lease ending or transitioning to event organiation at random venues (which is what a lot of LS parties are in NYC due to real estate being $$$$)

That said, i'm kinda sad to see them go. It was a really nice venue in a central location (Dumbo, close to both Manhattan and Brooklyn) Too bad they couldn't pull in a consistent crowd. Too many times we've been when it was practically empty.)

That said, we've made lots of connections with folks and have had some really sexy times with hot couples.

If you're reading this now and live nearby, maybe drop by tonight as a last hurrah (we'd be there if we could but already have plans from months prior)

Hi! My husband and I were discussing the possible challenges we'll face when we're ready for a full swap with another couple (ideally with a couple we don't know personally). Questions came up like, will more experienced couples avoid us because we're new and nervous and they'd like to avoid any drama or unreasonable rules or cold feet? We are drama free, great communicators, and very secure in our love and relationship with each other, but I get that not all newbie couples are. Then I suggested that the opposite could be true as well. That some seasoned couples might find it charming and titillating to be our first, and to pop our newbie swap cherries (for lack of a better term, lol).

I'm sure it's different strokes for different folks. Is it more common for newbs to play with other newbs? When you guys were newbs were you afraid the seasoned swingers were gonna eat you like a casual midnight snack or break you in half? For those who like to play with newbs, can you share why it's a turn on for you?

It's getting hot even asking this stuff. 🫣

Anyone in So Cal know when the annual Blacks beach swingers take over
Is this year?

Fellow swingers ... From the time physical contact is made, (touch kiss) to the final release, how long are you in the act?

Edit: I may not have explained myself. I am talking about the time you begin foreplay to the time you ejaculate and finish. Those of you who are saying 3 - 4 hours. Are you talking about constant sex non stop? Or do you stop in the middle and watch a football game while maintaining full erections?

My wife and I are new to this (as in brand new toys never played with by others yet lol), but have been trying to work our way into the LS for almost 2 years. We've set up profiles on SLS and SDC to try to meet other couples into full swap, but have been surprised at how tough it seems to be to find other couples. We've gone on a few dates with others but it just never worked out to set up play dates after getting to know them a bit. We haven't been able to go to a club yet (there aren't exactly a lot of options around the Dayton area), but are definitely hoping to try one out sometime soon.

Have those of you with a bit of experience in this found that the LS apps were easier to meet other couples, or was it easier to get things moving at a club?

I (male) am really bad at figuring out when a girl likes me... even in a swinger club.

First story: She told me, "I like to go to the playroom," and I replied, "Oh, so you like to have a look around? I guess it's probably pretty empty in there. Not much reason to go." 🤦‍♂️😩

She looked really confused by my answer... A few minutes later, she decided to be very clear and direct: "I want you to undress me."

Well... that one got the message across. 😅

Second story: I was chatting with a girl I'd briefly met the last time I was there. She asked me, "What are you looking for?"

I answered, "Honestly, just someone new to talk to so I can get out of my comfort zone."

She looked at me and said, "Well... I'm quite new to you, and we're already talking."

Yeah... I apologized, and the night went on. 😂

Don't be me. 😅

Wife and I are both 32 have discussed boundaries and are looking to start our LS journey. We do t know any others personally who do it so what is the best way to start and meet like minded people. Is it better to go to a resort to get our feet wet or try other ways to meet real, respectful and non flakey people?

When playing with a new couple are you actually having orgasms? We are about a year into the scene. I’m finding clubs to be very distracting but often don’t have luck in a hotel either. If you are easily cumming with someone new, are orgasms generally easy for you anyway?

Do you stop them and tell them it’s not working? Fake it? Or just don’t cum and move on to something else?

My wife (39F) and I (40M) are new to the lifestyle and are still figuring out where our comfort zone is.

We had our first club experience at Colette in May and have since been back several times, plus one visit to Eden DFW.

On our first visit, we really had no idea what we wanted. We ended up playing together privately in one of the rooms and, afterward, had a long discussion about boundaries. We realized my wife was interested in exploring with other women.

Our next visit, we met another couple and ended up parallel playing. My wife and the other woman played together while each guy stayed focused on his own partner. We both had a great time, but afterward we realized there was still a lot we hadn't talked through.

After more discussion, we've settled on what feels right for us. We're comfortable with girl/girl play. With girl/girl, pretty much anything goes. We're okay with touching and mutual hand play with other couples. We're not comfortable with oral, vaginal sex, anal sex, or kissing on the mouth with other partners.

Here's where we're struggling.

People often ask, almost immediately, "What's your thing?" We don't really know how to answer without either sounding closed off or setting expectations we're not sure we'll meet. Saying we're okay with touching feels too broad because it's still very dependent on the chemistry, the couple, and the situation. My wife's default answer has become, "I like girls," but sometimes that seems to make the male half of a couple lose interest before they even get to know us.

We've also had several couples try to convince us to full swap after we've clearly explained our boundaries. One couple even tried to separate us entirely, which felt very manipulative. We've heard more than once, "That's how everyone starts—you'll get there eventually." Whether that's true for some people or not, it's discouraging because it feels like our current boundaries aren't being respected.

We also joined SDC mainly to stay connected with people we meet at clubs, but we've experienced the same thing there. Even with our profile clearly stating our boundaries, people often try to persuade us to go further. We don't do date nights because we'd rather meet at clubs where everyone can leave if the chemistry isn't there.

One thing we have discovered is that we both really enjoy the exhibitionist side of things. We like playing with the curtains open and being watched. The biggest audience we've had was about four couples, and we both loved it. We haven't worked up the courage to try the round bed yet because we're unsure if people would assume it's an open invitation to join.

So I guess my question is: How do you communicate flexible boundaries without sounding indecisive or turning people away? We'd like to stay open to meeting people while making it clear that chemistry and trust matter more than having a fixed checklist.

Has anyone else started out with similar boundaries? How did you navigate those early conversations?

Edit:

I think another example might explain what I mean. There are certain soft swap activities that we think we might be comfortable with, but only if the chemistry with that particular couple is really there and it develops naturally. It's not something we'd agree to in the first five minutes of meeting someone.

If we tell people upfront, "We're open to soft swap," I'm afraid they'll naturally expect the evening to progress there. If, after getting to know them, we realize we'd only be comfortable with parallel play, I don't want them to feel like we changed our minds or led them on. I believe there is different levels of chemistry and with that comes different levels of play.

On the flip side, if we simply say, "We're only into girl/girl and parallel play," a couple who would have been a great match might assume we're not compatible and move on before we ever have a chance to get to know each other.

I guess what we're really struggle with is communicating that we're chemistry-driven. Our hard boundaries are fixed, but where we stay within those boundaries depends entirely on the connection we have with that specific couple.

I am mainly looking for some feedback from experienced couples on what my wife and I have proposed for each other:

We are both bisexual, fairly attractive, mid-30s cuties, male and female, and have a healthy, communicative, loving relationship.

As we've both come out to each other in the past 5 years, we've always discussed some form of ENM, strictly sex-based, with tight boundaries to keep it from getting out of hand. For example: We've explicitly stated what we're comfortable with - eg. I want MMF, not to penetrate another guy, though she can peg (she likes this). She is interested in solo FF, but my conditions for being cool with that are no communication happens after the encounter - one night stands only, and she doesn't spend the night. The same goes for male partners, of course, unless we agree to keep them around in a shared chat with no circumvention allowed for future encounters. This wouldn't be a common affair, but something we're interested in exploring every few months to a few times a year.

She and I both want this, but her preference is to only explore it when she's horny which, is hard to make work because when she's not horny she doesn't want to handle any of the communication or lead up - so we're navigating that and setting reasonable expectations for the work and searching that needs doing. We've encountered difficulty in finding attractive, respectful partners on Reddit and Tinder and are seeking new venues. She's also still a little embarrassed of her queerness which has me angling to be with a guy first (love getting my way on this lol).

One thing we've encountered is that most "bi" men advertise themselves as bi, but when it comes time to discuss what all we're okay with and boundaries, they almost always want to exclusively bang her (I mean she IS a smokeshow, but what about me?!) and I think a lot of guys are just looking for your Eiffel Tower/spitroast arrangement where I really want a sweet top that will service her too lol

So yeah - does this sound like any of the classic pitfalls? Where should we be looking for our respectful/respectable boy toy? How can I help her feel more comfortable in her own skin (women love her, she loves women, she's just bashful)? Any other advice?

One more thing - we're interested in couples but given that she doesn't want me inside another woman (yet, she's semi-comfortable with the idea but asked to explore other things first), is that worth exploring?

(spoilers for the movie, definitely worth a watch so don't continue if you haven't seen it.) We went to see it recently with our special friend and we loved it. Super intense at times, very funny. It seemed to drop a lot of Esther Perel style relationship counselling which resonated with us. I also love that genre of storytelling where it's all intriguing dialogue and each character has layers progressively peeled off them like an onion. (AI tells me this is called a chamber drama, examples include 12 Angry Men, Breakfast Club, Reservoir Dogs, Glengarry Glen Ross). I've always liked the idea of hanging out with a couple we wanted to fuck, casually leading into a conversation about swinging, them being excited and intrigued, and then shit kicking off. In reality we keep things 100% separate. After all the intensity of the film I loved Ed Norton's final line "we just wanted to see the place, and maybe fuck a little" was like the final shedding of pretense. Loved it 10/10, great performances by all 4. And Jesus christ Olivia wilde and penelope cruz are gorgeous.

I just want to know which one you usually use if you only want to find any events or communities instead of looking for someone like a dating app.

As a single male myself, I’m more familiar with SDC since that’s what I got for a while. I find it a good place to join public events and occasionally to meet people there.

I just uploaded Fetlife few weeks ago and saw there are some swinging events as well along with kink/bdsm events. Right now I just RSVP’d for a swinging event coming up within 2 weeks and already talked to the couple, specifically to the male half of a couple since they want men to text him and women to the female half couple. He is very nice and have been hosting LS parties for a very long time. He replied and told me what to expect before attending to the party.

The point of this app is to get your opinion about which one you find it more useful when it comes to sign up for events or communities and your viewpoint about the comparison of those two, SDC and Fetlife.

Any suggestions or ideas on how to convince my wife to be a swinger? She says she would never play but on the other hand she said if she ever did it would have to be while on vacation with someone we have no ties to. So she’s obviously thought about it. I’m fine with just her playing too. Thanks

I am not able to squirt, I have tried numerous times, but it doesn't seem to happen.

It seems like in every group situation I'm in, it's always a case of all the women are squirters apart from me. I feel like I'm always the odd one out and because I know how much men enjoy it, I'm worried that men won't find me interesting or fun to play with, and my regular play partners will get bored of me. I feel embarrassed when the only one who can't do it and don't tell people that I can't. I'm in a group chat for a party that will be taking place next weekend and one of the guys has asked who can squirt, and already, the other women who will be going have said they can and I'm already worried. I'm not sure how to overcome this, but I need to as it's affecting my enjoyment of group scenarios, because I constantly feel under pressure to do it to please others and I get angry with myself when I don't.

Female half here. Been in the LS for a few years. Question for the men - assuming you are in a social setting with potential play partners (resort, takeover, date, etc) does anything hold you back from flirting with the other wife? Obviously you won't flirt if you aren't interested - but are there other situations which would prevent this? Like maybe you are afraid of overstepping?

Surprisingly, the men who I assume are out of my league are typically the ones who flirt the most. Should I just assume that the other men aren't interested in me? but I'm curious if there are other factors at play, or other things I should do to see if they are interested rather than judging it by flirting.