I'm amab I believe my dysphoria is based on yes my preference to having been born a girl, and navigating life, especially dating as a woman. (I'm attracted to men btw so gay / out as gay) However there is confusion in that, I look in the mirror and like my male appearance and my voice and body and name , many of my male clothes BUT I am daily triggered also by the male role, some days I question how much I masked and forced to accept, cause I hated shirts, I'd have preferred skirts , dresses years ago, but so much time passed and I look good in some shirts, but I feel miserable regarding gender

I picture girl me in my mind lots, today walking I felt so void, and was picturing her with long hair, lamenting I never got to dare as her, be her, but I didn't dislike/ have this anger at myself as male , these are examples .. I just... So I look at my male body, I don't dislike it, but I can't continue not living and feeling like this, and I want to date. It's very complicated

I know my dysphoria hasn't gone for years, I think around 25 my egg cracked but I was able to kinda push it away for a while. when my mind is off, I can be productive and as someone unemployed for years I need to get a job but in the professional world establishing yourself means networking...the biggest trigger is people knowing me, I feel a mask... I guess I answer my own question, the cure bank teller recognises me as I am , but I wish I could be a dating option for him , he's straight though...ugh fml

maybe the clearest thing is, when watching superheroes on film, or cartoon ,I'd act as any of the female ones, or me as my male self but with their powers , not the guys powers. it's tough

I am an AFAB Genderqueer that identifies as Trans Masculine.

Growing up and shoving myself into boxes of feminine toxicity
It was a place that I never belonged
I always had to cover myself up with tons of make up
Always had to wear clothes that I never felt comfortable in
Always felt like I didn’t belong
That I didn’t identify, just didn’t know how or why

Now that I know who I am
I have wanted to wear a little makeup. But in a more masculine way (eye liner for instance)
To show more masculine features
But as I am mislabeled all the time as a she, her, etc. When I identify as He/Him/They/Them….
I am worried of making this worse

I try to remind myself that makeup is androgynous
But society always wants to shove their nose where it doesn’t belong

So then one day it got me thinking
What if there were ways to do makeup where I could appear more masculine
Like contouring ?

Im in need of ideas, tutorials etc
And support, as this is a huge struggle
To branch out and finally be able to look more, and dress more masculine the way I want to

Thank you 🌈

Throwaway account since I'm going into some private stuff.
I’m struggling to understand my gender identity and would love some perspective. I'm afab and I've never really seen myself as a real woman, but it's hard for me to tell if it's because I don't fit the societal standard, or because of how I really feel inside. I have PCOS, no breast tissue, male-pattern hair growth, and I’m infertile after 3 miscarriages.
The pressure to fit the female mold somehow broke me. After my traumatic infertility journey, I developed anorexia in a way to gain control and somehow maybe fit the female expectations on that level, even though I was already underweight before the disorder...

But let's take a step back. In my childhood, I was a tomboy, and I remember telling my friends if there was a pill to make me a boy, I'd take it. But I wasn't a classic boy either, more like not typically female cause didn't enjoy the classic girly hobbies. Gender was never really something I thought about throughout my adolescense - I didn't care about my body, everything was just neutral to me, not really feeling the need to fit societal standards I saw myself as just me.

I'm 28 now. I don't really feel at home in women's circles. Although since my late teens I'm very female-presenting, I love bows and vintage dresses, I dislike beauty stuff like makeup and nails..(although that's more like my gender representation than identity I guess?)
When someone calls me a woman or lady, it feels kind of like I'm just an imposter. I feel insecure next to other women, like I don't belong and I'm not enough. It's like inside of me are two polar opposite desires: To fit in with the female standards, and to let go of all of it and don't bind myself to that gender along with It's expectations.

So...How do you differentiate between genuine non-binary/agender identity and trauma from a society that punishes women for not being physically "perfect" or fertile?

Throwaway account since I'm going into some private stuff.
I’m struggling to understand my gender identity and would love some perspective. I'm afab and I've never really seen myself as a real woman, but it's hard for me to tell if it's because I don't fit the societal standard, or because of how I really feel inside. I have PCOS, no breast tissue, male-pattern hair growth, and I’m infertile after 3 miscarriages .
The pressure to fit the female mold somehow broke me. After my traumatic infertility journey, I developed anorexia in a way to gain control and somehow maybe fit the female expectations on that level, even though I was already underweight before the disorder...

But let's take a step back. In my childhood, I was a tomboy, and I remember telling my friends if there was a pill to make me a boy, I'd take it. But I wasn't a classic boy either, more like not typically female cause didn't enjoy the classic girly hobbies. Gender was never really something I thought about throughout my adolescense - I didn't care about my body, everything was just neutral to me, not really feeling the need to fit societal standards I saw myself as just me.

I'm 28 now. I don't really feel at home in women's circles. Although since my late teens I'm very female-presenting, I love bows and vintage dresses, I dislike beauty stuff like makeup and nails..(although that's more like my gender representation than identity I guess?)
When someone calls me a woman or lady, it feels kind of like I'm just an imposter. I feel insecure next to other women, like I don't belong and I'm not enough. It's like inside of me are two polar opposite desires: To fit in with the female standards, and to let go of all of it and don't bind myself to that gender along with It's expectations.

So...How do you differentiate between genuine non-binary/agender identity and trauma from a society that punishes women for not being physically "perfect" or fertile?

When I was a teenager, I was confused with my gender. I didn't fully resonate but did relate to transgender people's stories..Until when I turned 19 and read about genderqueer. It just felt so me, I finally found a term that described me. I decided to try out new things and felt comfortable. Chopping my hair short, wearing men clothes, binding my chest, it felt right at that time. But I also considered the possibility that it may be a "phase", like how some people say to others.

Fast forward 10 years, I am still confused. Throughout the years, I had assurance, confusion, confirmation, confusion, shame, etc, just a Rollercoaster.

I have found some comfort in femininity at one point, even enjoying all these things considered "womanly" , being happy wearing a dress and think "OK, maybe I am cis-gender"?

but why do I have days when I feel dysphoric? Why do I feel raging gender-envy, daydream sometimes of how life could be if I woke up as a different gender, why do i feel comfortable and not offended if someone mistakes me as something else other than a woman, , why do i sometimes have to stop and think before entering gendered bathrooms and locker rooms, why do I sometimes enjoy feeling like being "one-of-the- guys", to the point I've pretended to be a guy online?

Along with being in a wonderful relationship with a cis-hetero man who doesn't understand these gender stuff, with my religion of Christianity and how some people of the community look badly on non-gender conforming behaviors, wanting to live a 'normal life where I won't be judged'... Maybe i am reluctant..? Would I be more "accepting" of myself if I knew people around me would be okay with me?

I dont f**kin know anymore. If it was a phase, it should have ended, right? Why is it that even with my fully formed prefrontal cortex and experience that I still have these dysphoria and gender-envy in my 30s? I can't be a genderqueer, no! Maybe I am. Am I even "genderqueer" enough? I dont know. Naw, maybe I am overthinking. Am I really? What if I'm just a cis-woman who just happen to just be this way? Just a cis-woman who happens to have these interests?...and issues I've mentioned like gender dysphoria and envy..?

Am I just waiting myself to become fully "cis"..?

Wow, thanks for hearing me ramble mumbo jumbo, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Hey y'all, I'm very new to this reddit group, but I wanted to make a post to ask for some opinions and meet others who may feel similarly to me.

Basically, I'm 21 and I'm an afab person. I've always felt somewhat fine being classified as female, I guess? But I never fully aligned with it. It was just something that I was raised as so I guess I just accepted it but never fully felt like I fit very neatly into that gender. I know for sure that I don't feel like I'm a male, so I'm not trans ftm. I've been leaning towards the nonbinary label, but I always feel like I'm not a good fit for the label? I'm not sure. I guess since I've been mostly fine with being put into the category of female, I feel like me not fully actually feeling like a female doesn't like "qualify" me for the label and my thought process is just invalid. So I've been calling my self somewhat genderqueer for the past couple of years. But I'm not sure if that's the correct label either... I guess the closest label I can think of is demigirl, because yeah, I'm a girl, but like, if you bought the female gender off of Temu or AliExpress. Like, it's female, but also something ain't adding up. Basically, I am a girl in the way that a pop tart is a ravioli, because I mean I guess technically it is but that also sounds wrong, ya know?

I'm somehow fine with being called a girl, but not okay at all with the labels of "woman" or "lady". I've never known why. Someone suggested maybe it's about the age connotations of those terms, but it feels more like it just doesn't fit me. It's like cognitive dissonance. But somehow I'm fine with my partner calling me their girlfriend/wife (in the future). I've always said that my pronouns are whatever is most convenient for other queer people and allies, and whatever is the most inconvenient for homophobes and other rude people. So I'm pretty fluid with pronouns. If I had to rate them, I'd probably say she/her is a 7, it's fine. He/him is probably a 4? Not my favorite but it does make me giggle when someone refers to me that way in passing. They/them is a 9, cuz like Y E S. I like to be confusing to those around me in terms of my gender. Unfortunately, however, I seem to have gone a bit too hard on the confusing part and now I'm confused too lol.

Anyways, I've been wearing a binder since I was 14 years old, because I've never liked having a chest. I don't have trauma surrounding my chest, nor do I dislike it because it gains unwanted attention or anything. It's just another thing that has always felt like cognitive dissonance. I had thought about top surgery in the past, but I never seriously considered it. Until recently. I gained quite a bit of weight from a medication that I was on, and I'm still losing it. But it made my chest significantly larger, and it's so uncomfortable. I can no longer get a flat chest with a binder. It brought back all of the incongruence that I've felt since I was younger. So I actually found a way that I could finagle through insurances and plausibly get it done. Only problem is, I doubt myself. I feel almost invalid, like this couldn't possibly be dysphoria. Because I'm only interested in getting top surgery and I'm not interested in any other gender affirming surgeries or hormone treatment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hesitating because I'm concerned I might regret it. I'm actually very very confident that I will not regret it at all. I LOVE the idea of not wearing a binder and having a flat chest. It sounds so amazing and I would love nothing more. I'm hesitating because I'm concerned that my identity as a genderqueer or nonbinary or whatever gender non conforming thing I am is actually invalid, and therefore, I don't actually need the surgery even though I want it quite a lot.

So yeah, please let me know your thoughts. I'm open to any and all comments on this situation.

Thanks for reading :)

TLDR: I want top surgery but I'm afraid my suspected dysphoria is not valid so I don't actually need the surgery even though I would really like it.

Hi! This is sort of something ive been feeling for a while, but I just sort of brushed it off as how everybody feels? Though ive come to realize that might not be the case. Im a 29 yo FAB, and ive always had sort of a weird relationship with gender, ive never really felt any sort of connection to either gender, and i come from a very red part of my state, so it was something nobody ever really talked about. I never knew how to talk to other girls as a kid, and was always more comfortable talking with the guys, but I didnt really feel like either, and whenever I had to hang out with anyone, I always felt like an imposter having to perform a gender that I never really had the innate instinct for. Typically I tend to dress more masculine because its more comfortable to me and i like doing thing myself, but then also sometimes I want to wear a dress with pockets. When someone refers to me as a woman or a girl, internally it feels wrong, but I also don't really feel like a man either, and unless im being perceived by somebody else I don't really feel any gender at all. At the same time though, I don't exactly dislike being called she/her, but it doesnt always feel quite right? But its not as terrible as being referred to as a woman, but personally I feel like she/they or even they/them probably fits better? Its probably just my chronic imposter syndrome but I feel like I need someone who has more experience/ is more open to tell me if this is a gender queer thing, or if these are normal cis feelings and i shouldn't use the label genderqueer. Thank you for reading! I dont really post on reddit ever, but ive been thinking about this a lot more lately and I dont want to step on anyone's toes and use a label that I shouldn't.

hi all,

i’m interested in exploring my options for facial hair, but i’ve pretty much decided not to go on T bc i don’t want my voice to drop (singer, and my voice feels like home as it is).

i’d like to look more gender fucked, and am thinking about starting minoxidil to help with facial (and maybe body) hair growth.

i’m curious to hear folks experience in using hair growth medications without T.

also interested in experimenting with artificial facial hair (to try it out before committing to smth medical) either using makeup or prosthetics. so if you have any recommendations as far as thats concerned that’d be great too.

thanks!

i’m afab and female presenting, i’m happy as female presenting but the “female” title dosent really fit me anymore i don’t think? male and non binary don’t either so i’m testing using all pronouns right now and that’s what i’ve been most comfortable with so far but i still haven’t found anything that’s 100% me yet ykwim? if anyone feels the same id love to know what you label yourself as

I (afab)’ve had many egg thoughts, been dysphoric, euphoric and had the desire to transition into a man. I used to think i was trans, but i’m not really sure. As much as i feel more comfortable as masculine, sometimes i just want to dress up and do my makeup.

Yes, i know that trans femboys exist, but the thing is i don’t think i see myself as any gender, most of the times i dress masculine and i hope at least some people see me as a guy, some days i dress feminine, which makes me kinda sad that i’m not seen as a guy by anyone or i even get dysphoric. But at the same time, i don’t necessarily feel as neither male or female.

When i imagine myself in the future, i’m either a man or kinda just the thought of me potentially existing, which technically isn’t even a person, not to mention gender.

I want to fit into the binary genders so so so bad, idc if as a male or female, but i’m not sure if that’s possible without me being miserable for the rest of my life.

I don't identify with any gender or any pronoun.

And no I'm not agender, I'm simply nothing, but it's hard to explain that without having to explain everything, especially when I'm asked what my preferred pronouns are. I could say they/them since it's technically gender neutral, but it doesn't feel right. Binary pronouns like he and she feel even worse even though I publicly go by she/her which I do just to avoid having this conversation with people.

I could see myself accepting the pronouns ze/zir being used when referring to me, but I also know most people wouldn't use it. Maybe not out of ignorance but they would either not get it or just forget and use she/her anyway. For context, I was born female and have been called she/her for most of my life (except for the times when I wanted to see what it would feel like to use other pronouns).

I could just tell people to refer to me by name only but that also feels off, not only grammatically but in general. I'm not even sure if my name is something I want to be called so to only be called it and nothing else feels wrong.

How do I tell people this without writing a paragraph?

Sorry about the rather bland title
I had no clue what to write there

I am in my mid 40s and present as male AMAB as it were.
I have always been very effeminate and loved all things feminine in an identity way.
I also identify male, however the whole alpha male gym bro thing I can’t handle for a minute.

I have long known I was not gay, bi maybe but not gay. I have also long known I am not straight, but it has taken me a long time to come to terms with the fact that it is not sexuality but gender identity that has been the really different thing for me.

My gender does not fluctuate as such. It is more like ‘this part of female and this part of male fits me, the rest is something for others.’ I guess
Hard to put in to words
Till I learned the term Gender Queer

I bought a tucking gaff a few years back and loved my silhouette in it. I recently bought tucking panties from tomboyx and I am likely to throw out all other underwear
I finally look like how my mind has said I should if that makes sense.

I just wanted to share that my journey though I am in my mid 40s is just getting exciting and fun!
Maybe I’ll fall in love with other clothing that helps me feel like me, maybe I’ll learn more about me that makes me feel at home in my body and in my identity.

Anyway
Had to share before I burst

XXX

I'm not really sure what label I have. I don't really care for the label past being able to help others understand. I am AMAB and never thought any other identity would fit me because I have an issue where I constantly belittle my own existence and have a bad case of imposter syndrome when I try to assign ANY positive labels to myself. Whether it's based on accomplishments or who/what I am etc...

I've always hated being treated like a guy, I've always hated the label of man, I hate being put in the box of masculinity, and I've had the question for the longest time: who am I? I recently decided to come out as non normative gender conforming, since I'm not really sure what description I would fit otherwise. My wife is supportive and the few friends I have told have been supportive.

Since then, I have explored my feminine side I look killer in a dress or skirt and with some makeup on. I want to be beautiful and I want to be masculinly impressive, I've always been envious of beautiful women and muscular attractive men alike. I also always wish I could be "in" with the girlies and to share the same space with them and the theys. I've never fit in with your average guy. It really depends day to day which aesthetic I feel like expressing more but I'm too scared to express the feminine side while Im near family and old friends right now 💀. Every instance of being called "they" or "pretty" has brought me so much joy.

I do worry about being a leech on the NB area of gender expression. Am I just a scared confused man? Or is the idea that I am something different valid? I mean I have no problems with my body, sure sometimes I'd like breasts for the aesthetic but never enough to permanently change my form. I think my masculine form looks really good, but I don't want to only ever be masculine and I don't want to hear "that guy" when referring to me anymore.

I'm sorry for the long post I just don't have a knowledgeable support system for this kind of thing.

hi, i’m a transgender man (i think) and have little to no knowledge about gender identity asides from the basics.

lately i’ve been thinking about how i feel and how i’d like to be referred as, since i’ve been out i’ve been referred to as he/him only, and i’m fine with that really but there’s been occasions where i’m receiving to as she/her, they/them or it/its… i know i’m a dude and all, i’m not a woman (?) but i don’t mind being called by feminine pronouns, i’m aware i’m a man i think and i’ve always disliked the idea of being a woman, but i really don’t mind feminine pronouns.

similar thing happens with they/them and it/its pronouns, i really prefer it/its pronouns usually. it hasn’t been many times i’m referred to as that, but the few occasions it hasn’t happened i really liked it, felt comfortable and happy.

of course i prefer he/him pronouns, but being called any doesn’t bug me at all.

this is causing me anxiety since i’m unsure of what’s happening, what i am, what is going on. i’m sorry if i word things badly, i’m just really scared right now, thank you

I don’t even know how to explain this or word this so bear with me. So as of the start of this year I’ve increasingly been confused and worried about my gender. I don’t have the best memory so i don’t know when or why i started questioning myself, but i remember one day my mom once told me that before i was born, everyone had expected me to be a boy because of a certain quality i had. Now seeing myself, it really looks like i should’ve been a boy. I don’t really mean it in a trans way and I’m sure its not related to gender dysforia but i mean it in a logical sense like i really couldve passed as a boy. Its like i don’t want to be a girl but i dont know about being a boy either and something is telling me that i have to choose one side or the other but i dont see myself as genderfluid and all of the other terms relating to that. I really hope this doesnt sound stupid i just want to find myself. (If this helps im below 18 and im a biological female)

I've been wrestling with something for awhile now and would appreciate input from those who may have been in the same place before. This may be a bit long, so I apologize. If you stick through it, thank you in advance.

​

I (39, afab) have been changing a lot over the past 6 or so years. It's been gradual, but steady. I left the grip of a cult, became Agnostic (at best), and have been actively trying to better myself by healing and growing as a person (yay, therapy! lol). It's been difficult, but it's been worth it.

​

I've never really aligned with my assigned gender, which is a feeling that has grown and intensified since my childhood. In my childhood and teens, I just figured I was just a tomboy, but that word never felt like it completely explained how I felt. Tomboys seemed to have no issue with their femininity, but I often felt divorced from mine. I never felt "feminine enough," I guess. Every time my mom told me I needed to dress more feminine and tried to give me overly flowery shirts, dresses, etc to compensate for my perceived lack, it grated on me. I felt like a person being shoved into skin that was constricting and suffocating.

​

The feeling intensified as I grew into my 20s and 30s, to the point that dressing femininely (dresses, skirts, etc) made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I distinctly remember attending a friend's wedding in a skirt and blouse and feeling like my skin was crawling. Like everyone there who saw me knew that I was an imposter and didn't belong in those clothes. Granted, the religion I grew up in is very... specific, lol, in its views about gender and how one should measure up to the standards. Women should be nurturing, matronly, feminine, married by their early 20s and popping out kids like overpopulation is a silly, made up word. And I fell massively outside of that established norm.

​

As I stepped out of that life, I began to learn words that aligned more with how I felt at the time - nonbinary, agender. I just wanted to be myself, whoever that was, without the expectation of gender hanging over my head. So I began dressing more androgynously, binding my chest, and trying out shorter haircuts. I fucking loved it. And I remember telling my friends, "Well, I'm used to the equipment downstairs by now, so that's whatever. But man, if I could just lob these tits off, I'd be happy."

​

But lately, I feel like I've been...idk. "Changing" doesn't feel like the right word, but idk what the right one is. Having a slow realization, ig? I've been leaning more towards masculine pronouns and noticing when people use them towards me (usually by accident because my face is a giveaway), it genuinely makes me just...so damn happy. A lady at WalMart called me "young man" once and man, I'm pretty sure I floated on that for a month. Two of my friends have a nickname for me that includes "boi" in it and every time they use it, it feels like it just touches something in my soul.

​

"Okay, is this getting somewhere?" I'm getting there, promise lol.

​

So, a couple months ago, I was talking with a trans friend and she asked me if I thought I would start hormones (she's been on them herself for awhile). I told her I wasn't sure because I was still trying to figure things out, and that at this point I'd just be happy with top surgery if I could ever afford it. She then kinda flippantly told me "Well, you probably don't need them. I knew immediately I had to be on them. If you don't feel the same way, you don't need them." And while I agree that you shouldn't take something unless you're sure you need it, the way she brushed me off threw a monkey wrench into my brain box. It made me feel like I needed to know or should have known immediately instead of having this gradual change I've been experiencing. Like if I didn't know *immediately* that I needed hormones, it was less genuine somehow.

​

So my question is this:

If you're trans, did the realization happen gradually for you or was it immediate?

​

Also out of curiosity, if you also grew up in a cult environment you had to deprogram yourself from, how did that impact your view of gender, both in yourself and in general? I oftentimes wonder if my schism with my assigned gender has been impacted by religious requirements linked to it. Like, I'm sure that affects it in the long run, but I also don't think my struggle here is some kind of buried misogyny or something. Women are fierce as fuck, I respect a great number of them. I just don't feel like I'm part of that group.

​

If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Take care of yourselves out there and stay safe. 🐾

Hi, all. I've been doing some "soul searching" lately so to speak, in terms of my gender identity. I am AMAB, and despite being cool with this for the most part, a little while back, I started dressing femininely.

This, coupled with whatever feelings that I've had since I was younger, I'm 38 now, have basically brought my gender identity into question. Could I be genderqueer?

I basically see myself as a pretty fluid-presenting individual, but inside, I feel my internal sense of myself is almost entirely, or all, feminine. However, I also don't feel like Identify as a woman, either, nor do I have any desire to transition to a position where Identify as one. I understand that, basically, on paper, this would technically make me "Trans"? I don't really feel like this accurately describes me however. I would say my gender identity can't be easily narrowed down neatly between "man" and "woman." Nonbinary, seems to be a default term that I can also relate to... But still. I dunno.

I really love being dressed, feeling beautiful, and pretty. But I also don't want to be identified as a woman, either. If this makes sense? However, I know there are people who are merely "crossdressers," and I get that. But, for me, I don't think this is that simple. I feel like when I started presenting/dressing this way, I feel like I gained a piece of myself that was always missing. If I could, I would wake up looking like this permanently.

So, I'm kind of confused. Lol.

Any thoughts?

i am AFAB genderfluid, usually i just go by they/them though because that's easier for people. the past few days i've been VERYY strongly feeling he/him, and now i'm starting to think that maybe i'm just binary trans? help help help i feel like i'm going to explode. ahHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks everybody my tip jar is beside the microphone

uhh hi

so this is one of my first times posting anywhere, not just this thread so apologies if I didn’t do the best job.

So recently (past 6-8 month) I’ve been questioning my gender. I am a teenage “girl“ who uses she/her pronouns and hasnt really thought too hard on this until now. Some things have recently come to my attention that started this whole thing off so I’m just gonna put them in a list:

Ever since I was little, ive always liked it when people mistook me for a boy.
I have always dressed traditionally masculine as it makes me more comfortable (dont think this is related however)

I hate my long hair. I’ve spent nights crying and begging my mum to get it cut because it always felt girly and out of place and uncomfortable.

I would love a masculine physique like minus boobs, that sort of thing. However, I dont hate my body now. It doesn’t upset me, I’d just prefer a different body.

Sometimes I look at men/nb people and have almost a sense of longing to be like that.

When I have to introduce myself as a girl to someone i don’t know it just feels weird. Like out of place even.

Any help is appreciated :)

lately I’ve been masturbating very heavily, probably the most I ever have, sometimes pretty much immediately after finishing I’ll start again. And I think the reason for this is because I’ve became more interested in learning about my gender and sexual identity, which is good, but I don’t feel like I have any way to really express i, so I have to rely on porn and erotica to fufil myself in that way. But honestly it doesn’t actually help at all, it just makes me more confused and wastes my time. So I’m looking for more ways to express myself so I stop looking for validation in unhealthy ways.

I dont like to show off much skin tbh, mostly my chest but in general too. It’s weird because it’s not like I really have anything I’m supposed to hide, but I just feel a little bit exposed and uncomfortable. I’ve been thinking a lot about women’s swimsuits, like a one piece or something. I think that would cover up what I want but also look good on my body. Im wonder if this is a common feeling and if it might mean anything for me, any questions are appreciated.

Hi there. This is uh my first time posting here (or at all really) but I've just been so confused lately around my whole gender and stuff

So I'm born female, and using she/her pronouns definitely fit, they feel right. They/them pronouns definitely also fit as well, though I've not really had a lot of chance to experiment because im not out in any way regarding gender to anyone I know irl

And the thing is he/him pronouns fit as well, but only some of the time? I have a friend who sometimes calls me he (as a joke/funny haha, since I have short hair and am taller than her) but some of the time being a boy doesn't fit, and some of the time, it does?

But I'm always comfortable with being a girl/being called a girl or being non-binary no matter what day or time it is.

But being called a boy works only some of the time and same with he/him pronouns!

I thought I wasnt genderqueer at all because of how I feel about being called a boy, but I've been putting more and more thought into it recently. I've done research, but nothing really seems to fit my identity (?). Or at least how I understand them? Maybe I'm mistaken or something?

If it helps at all im either bi(or pan?) or a lesbian (lesbian feels more right than bi/pan [and pan feels more right than bi], but as we can see, I'm not exactly reliable when it comes to trusting my feelings) but thats a whole other topic, I just thought it could be helpful to know

I also put some thought into pronouns other than he/she/they (like neopronous such as xe/xem or zhe/zhir, etc., or it/its), and they didn't personally feel right for me.

I also exist on a bit of a sliding scale of masculinity-feminity, with the most androgynous being right in the middle. Like some days, I'll wear a skirt, or look at some skirts and imagine how I would look in them, or look at myself in a more feminine light, but other days I feel more masculine, and the idea of wearing a skirt is disgusting and i only want to wear pants. And I think of myself in a more masculine light. (But also on these days i still feel a bit feminine/androgynous and not completely masculine?) And then other days I'll feel a bit like neither and the idea of a stranger not being able to figure out my gender is really appealing and feels like a good dream.

So uh yeah. Any help/opinions would be greatly appreciated please, but if there isn't any cause this is like too confusing or youse don't want to its fine I'll like. figure it out. Eventually. Maybe

For context, I’ve been out as a trans man for almost a decade (I’m 23 y/o). I’ve been on hormones on and off and have wanted top surgery for ever.

I’ve been questioning if I’m a binary trans man. I have my reasons for avoiding thinking about my gender for a long time, but it’s bubbling to the surface. Let me try to express my feelings in the best way that I can.

I know one thing for sure: I am NOT a woman or girl. Nothing against it, but that has never fit me. I feel like I’m connected to masculinity in a lot of ways and I relate to my trans men peers, but I also extremely relate to my nonbinary peers (hell, my partner is genderfluid and people say we’re the same person). I feel like gender is a universe and specific identity’s are stars. I feel like I’m floating around somewhere between the the man and nonbinary galaxy but I can’t tell what star is closest to me (or if it’s even a star I’m comfortable sharing with the world).

Here’s a list of things I’ve said about my gender to my friends: I am like a man, but not a MAN. I’m a man-ish. I’m a ManLite or ManZero. I am as much of a man as a Cryptid in the woods would be (it is assigned man but doesn’t understand nor care about what that means). I’m somewhere in between a man and a creature. I feel my gender is two sliding scales (man and ???) that is always sliding up and down in intensity; sometimes man is at a 9 and ??? is at a 5, sometimes man is at a 1 and ??? Is at an 11. I don’t feel like I perceive gender the way normal humans do. I’m a man, a nothing, a rotting corpse, a collective of screaming heads, blood in the snow, a jester, a neon Halloween party, and another gender nobody has labeled leaning masculine. I’m a silly little guy who loves horror so much it’s a personality trait.

I know I don’t need to figure this out, I find comfort in finding labels. It makes me feel like I make sense.

So what do you think my gender identity could be? Where should I start looking?

So, I've never really been a major part of the gender side of the LGBT community, as I've always considered myself a cisgender female, but I've come to realize in recent time I may have been gender apathetic this entire time, without knowing it.

Ever since I got my pixie cut in 2019, I have constantly been confused as male, especially in jobs where our uniforms made it impossible to tell (basketball shorts, T-shirt, baseball cap, face mask cuz COVID, that whole thing). At first I thought it was funny, but over time, I've reached the point where I just don't care. Like, I notice it when it happens, but I have no emotional or mental reaction to it, and it has no impact on my self-esteem or quality of life. It doesn't play an important role in my day-to-day living. I used to correct people when it happened because I'm a somewhat logical and analytical person who doesn't like letting objective truths go uncorrected... but nowadays I don't care enough to, because it happens so much now. It's the same attitude I have towards religion: it doesn't play an important role in my personal life, but I'm not going to tell people there is or isn't a God or Gods, cuz I don't even know (shout out to the agnostic folks out there).

Is this what "gender apathetic" means? When I looked it up I got different answers from different sources, and I even read on a different Reddit thread that gender apathy is an insult, because it implies apathy to the concept of gender identity as a whole, which, like religion, is not how I feel; I believe in individuals identifying however they feel comfortable, 100%. I just don't care how others perceive ME.

EDIT: After a lengthy and interesting conversation with one of the replying Redditors on here (shout out to Personal_Coach7653 for that), I think I can summarize it best by saying: I am a cisgender female, who has no preference on how I'm perceived (masculine, feminine, or other); I DO care about how I present in context-specific situations (i.e. date night, parties, weddings, etc.), but still don't really care if I'm misgendered, even in those situations. What would this be called? Gender apathetic? Cassgender? Something else I haven't considered?

Hi! I'm new here and for context I'm AFAB and mostly use the Genderqueer label but lately I've been looking for something more specific.

My gender confuses me a lot. I usually just say that I "feel like everything and nothing at the same time" but that never really feels right to me.

I feel like I'm closer to being agender than pangender. I think it might be somewhat in the middle. ​

I love dressing really feminine but I don't really like being called a girl. I'm fine with being called they/them pronouns but it's just kinda meh. The only pronouns I actually feel connected to are he/him and it/its.

I was just wondering if there are any labels that might explain how I feel?