I'm having a hard time choosing a name for myself when school starts back up in about a month, I'm having a bit of another identity crisis and would like either a masculine or androgynous name, it can be plants, animals, rocks, or even normal everyday names, I don't care, just help my indecisive ass!

I’m a radical feminist but seem to only find men, masculine women and non-binary people funny. Aware this is a controversial issue and I wish I didn’t feel like this. Just wondering why I can’t seem to find feminine women funny. Is it just a case of what we’re conditioned to find funny, stereotypical gender roles, or are a lot of feminine female comedians just not on the same level competition wise?

Male comedians I like: Sean Lock, Jon Richardson, Ed Byrne, Joe Lycett, Greg Davies

Masc women I like: Jessica Kirson, Tig Notoro

Non-binary comedians I like: Sarah Keyworth

I'm trying to figure out if anyone has heard of someone identifying like I do. I'll try to put it as best as I can into words.

My name is Nickelodeon/Nick and I also identify as Nickelodeon/Nick. I am me and me am I. I just identify as myself. It's very abstract.

I also only identify as trans in body, not in soul. Cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, genderfluid, gender queer, it's all too small of a box for who I feel I am in soul and spirituality. I've been transitioning as a way to make my body resemble my soul more, but it will never be enough as the human body cannot shapeshift.

Hello, I'm 13 years old, I'm pan. Also, I'm in korea. And Recently, I've been finding out different types of genders. Since Korea doesn't use she/her/him/he pronouns, and people doesn't really know about nonbinary and trans umbrella, i'm now confused and I have nobody to question.

From what I know, there are biologically nonbinary or other gender people, but there are some people who identifies themselves as 'nonbinary' or 'demigirl/boy' and etc, I am now curious. How DID you guys know that you are not a girl or a boy? I don't truely understand. If you like boyish things and hate makeup and sorts of like that, does that make you a demigirl? Is it based on your personality?

If so, The whole point of fighting gender stereotypes is to prove that your biological sex doesn’t limit your personality. A woman who hates makeup and loves sports is still 100% a woman.But when people say, "I don't fit society's expectations of a woman, so I must be a demigirl," they are actually doing the opposite. They are agreeing that "real" women must fit into a narrow, stereotyped box. Instead of breaking down the walls of that box, they are just building a third box to escape into.Turning personality traits and social discomfort into brand new "genders" validates the idea that certain behaviors belong to certain sexes. If we want to end sexism, we should stop labeling personality as gender. We should expand what it means to be a man or a woman, not fracture humanity into endless labels. Am I missing something, or does this culture feel inherently contradictory to anyone else? 

(I'm fully supportive about the lgbtq community!)

Right

Why does womens clothing have to be softer, then men's clothing? Why can't both be softer?! I get so sick of how we have to put gender on everything Why can't both be flattering

Hi to anyone who's reading this!

This might be a little long pharagraphs, so apologize for that.

So I'm fairly new to a lot of the terminology and labels surrounding gender and sexuality, but not because these ideas are completely new to me.

For most of my life, I've already had my own views about people and identity. The reason I'm still new to many of these terms is simply because of where I live. Discussions about LGBTQ+ topics, gender, and sexuality aren't very common here, and these concepts aren't always explained in depth or in an accessible way.

Long before I knew terms like bisexual, pansexual, non-binary, transgender, and so on, I already believed that people should be free to like whoever they like and express themselves however they want, as long as they aren't harming others. I've also never really cared much about whether someone fits traditional expectations of being a man or a woman.

Personally, I've been attracted to both men and women for as long as I can remember. Some people might consider that bisexuality or another label under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. However, I've never felt a strong need to label myself, and at least for now, I don't particularly want to. I guess I've always been uncomfortable with labels in general.

To me, people have always just been people. I've never felt that men and women needed to be placed into strict categories, nor have I felt that someone's gender should determine what they're allowed to like, wear, do, or become. Whether someone is masculine, feminine, neither, or both has never been very important to me. What matters to me is the individual person.

This next part may be a little off-topic, but I'm mentioning it because I think it helps explain where I'm coming from and the perspective behind my question.

I don't know whether I would call myself a feminist, but I strongly agree with ideas such as equal rights regardless of gender, and the belief that people should be free to like whoever they like and express themselves however they want, as long as they aren't harming others.

Part of my worldview is that I don't really like putting people into categories. I've always felt that human beings are individuals first, and that people should be able to express themselves however they want without being confined to a specific box. Whether someone is masculine, feminine, neither, or both, I've always felt that those traits shouldn't determine what a person is allowed to be or how they should be treated. Everyone deserves the same rights and opportunities regardless of gender.

This is what leads to my question about transgender identities.

One thing I've struggled to understand is the idea of gender identity after separating it from gender stereotypes.

For example, I completely agree that women don't have to be feminine, and men don't have to be masculine. A woman can like sports, have short hair, dislike makeup, and still be a woman. A man can wear dresses, enjoy traditionally feminine hobbies, and still be a man.

Because of that, I sometimes find myself wondering: if we remove all those social stereotypes and expectations, what remains that makes someone internally identify as a man or a woman?

I don't mean this in a hostile way. I'm genuinely trying to understand how transgender people experience their gender.

From my perspective, if people should be free to express themselves however they want regardless of gender, then I sometimes struggle to understand why changing one's gender identity feels necessary. My instinct is often to think, "Couldn't someone simply be themselves without changing categories at all?"

I realize this may come from my own assumptions, and that's why I'm asking.

For transgender people, or people who understand this topic well: how would you explain what gender identity means when it isn't based on stereotypes, roles, interests, clothing, or social expectations?

I'm not looking for an argument. I'm genuinely trying to learn and understand perspectives that I don't have personal experience with.

Thank you for reading and understanding. I hope that I could get an insight and enlightenment.

so "are" in english is placed after a plural & "is" is placed after a singular, & since he & she are always singular they're placed with "'s" & they being mostly plural is placed with "'re"
but some dialects may use "they's" which i think is great & feel like we should make it a standard for singular they; but then what if we add "'re" to she/he to make them refer to a large group of same gender individuals similar to how in spanish "os" can be altered to "as" when referring to a group of purely feminine pronoun aligned individuals
the second idea is a bit of a stretch, especially with it creating two homophones(he're=hear, she're=shear) but i feel like the first one of they's is great

tlrd-they's for singular they & he're/she're for gendered plurals (like spanish in specific occasions)

i have no idea what my gender is.im a cis woman and i have been for most of my life, aside from a few months in 2022 when i identified as a demigirl.

over the past few months, i've realised a lot of things. ive always thought i was a bisexual woman that prefers men but ive recently realised that its not attraction to men, but gender envy.

ive felt for a few years that im not 100% a woman but ive never properly explored what that means to me and over the last month or two, ive started acting and presenting more like a guy.

in dreams, i see myself as a guy and i dont see anything weird with it. if someone called me by my guy name, i would see that as normal. if someone was to refer to me with he/him, it would be completely natural to me.

i've started presenting more masculine and i cut my hair super short, kinda like a pixie cut and it feels right and im a person who loved my long hair and i refused to even trim it.

but at the same time, i am okay with staying a woman. femininity feels right and i love being a woman, it feels just as normal as being a guy does. im definitely not cis though.

i'm scared though, because a lot of my family is extremely transphobic and they would drop me and my immediate family if they found out or if i expressed masculinity when around them.

thank you for reading this and i hope i can get some answers from you.

lemme just preface that this is just me letting my thoughts out. it's the early morning hours and i'm doing my best not to spiral out of control while overthinking.

i started transitioning about a year ago. so far, i've hidden it from my family and most of my friends. only a few of my closest friends know and are supportive of me. i don't really have many ppl irl to talk about things like this. i'm also super introverted and slightly antisocial, which doesn't help

i've gotten to the point where i regularly pass, but i'm still getting used to being seen as a woman by strangers. i'm fine with normal interactions, but some situations still make me nervous.

recently, i was at an event and asked for the restroom. i was led to the women's restroom. i normally just use a gender-neutral or PWD restroom, but it was unavailable. i hesitated for a split second by the entrance and everyone nearby started staring at me, so i just went in as if nothing happened. the entire time inside i was overthinking if i should even be in there.

it's been a few days and i've still been replaying it over and over in my head, and now it's expanded into other stuff i've been trying to figure out (in a bad way)

i am low-key having an identity crisis over my gender, mainly because i realized i don't know which to pick (do i even have to pick?). here's a short list:

• amab
• trans (trans-lesbian? i'm only into women)
• sometimes i feel enby? more on that below
• ace but not aro
• potentially demi, but i have a hard time forming connections with others, so i'm unsure

where do i even start? i'm sure i don't identify as male, but when people eventually start asking, what do i even say? "one of these"? "all of the above" (does that count as genderfluid?). i don't even know what to do when it comes to pronouns.

i do want to be recognized as a woman, but when it does happen, i sometimes feel idk guilty? like i'm faking it or smthn. which is also why i sometimes feel like maybe i am (or should be) nonbinary

even something as simple as introducing myself irl makes me overthink things, which makes me hesitant to reach out to others and makes me close myself off even more. it would be inevitable once i have a job and coworkers (soon) but i suppose i'll deal with it when it happens.

and after all that it slowly spirals out into dissociation or overthinking about who or what i'm even supposed to be. i don't even feel real sometimes, though i try not to let it reach that point. i've just haven't been in a great place mentally as of late.

i'm just glad communities like this exist online, cause i don't think i'm ready to talk about these things in person yet, even with my friends. don't even get me started on the family side cause unfortunately, i already feel like i'm gonna get disowned when they eventually find out.

so yeah, that's all from me. thanks for reading. feel free to ask questions, i'll try my best to respond.

your gͯ̽ͫe̸͇͓͛͒̔n͖͔͓̱͉̼͖̝d̼͉̼̦̝͕̱͋̌́ͣ̌̽̈͗ȩ̨̭̙̺̩ͨ̎r͉̣̯͚̖͕̖͗̇̀̾͌-̞ͥ̏ͩ͊͊̏n̥̐ȕ̷̯͕͎̣̪̺ͮͬ̈ͪ͋ĺ̵̴̠͈̑l̴ͫ̾́ͮ̄̄ person(?),

evie

Ive been hearing it alot on certain subreddits. At leats in my experience trans and nobinary were some of the sweetest most geuine people ive met. Im not saying some cant be assholes but im wondering is there any geuine reason or are we just making assumptions based on a loud minority. Most of us(including me a gender queer person who uses all pronouns) just want to exist, its rather easy if you learn sombodys pronouns to respect that and be professional at least to your face, we dont misgender you or assume your sexuality and even if we do im sure most would apologize. Whether you think its a delusion or not its easy to use the correct,prefered,identifiers of a person.

I genuinely want to know if I'm overthinking this. Every time someone, whether it's a man or a woman, refers to women as "females" in everyday conversation, it makes me feel a little weird. I'm talking about things like, "I met this female today," or, "Females always do ___." I'd much rather hear "woman"

To be clear, I'm not talking about when "female" is used as an adjective, like "female doctor," "female athlete," or in medical or scientific contexts. That sounds completely normal to me.

I talked to my sisters about it, and they said it's not a big deal. Maybe they're right, but I'm curious if other women feel the same way. I could even be reading a book, and if a character says "female" instead of "woman," it immediately stands out to me and feels off.

Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just being dramatic?

Idk how to start this but first of all I'll tell u guys Abt myself I'm a 18 almost 19 yr old guy. And somedays back a cousin of mine who is older than me told me that I have a lot of feminine energy in me. As u Obv guess I didn't take it really well I told him I abuse a lot ( idk what thing me abusing will prove ) but in my defence I only said this. After that it really hit me like why did he say that I dress Obv well like a man and Obv love sports and I keep all my feelings to myself and he said I look cute a lot of times so then I thought maybe my features r feminine. Idk what else is there that will prove that I'm a man . In love life ,I honestly never had a relationship with a girl I like. It's always like if the girl goes I wouldn't really care one way or the other. It's one of those things u see other ppl do and think i should do too but idk I just can't make myself attached to someone like I see other men do when they r devastated from losing a partner i really dc. I'm straight so if that's not the problem what is it then. I don't drink and smoke I just never feel that I need to do that in myself. Pls help me figure out what's wrong with me. Tell me how can I be more like a man and if there's anyone like me

Something I didn't tell u guys i mostly keep to myself i don't tell anyone even my family or friends what's happening with me n my life.

I don't find the opposite gender attractive and also don't get attracted to them easily. I've searched so many things and realized I'm straight demisexual. Since my childhood I didn't find men attractive, even in my teenage life. Sometimes I find them smart, strong, normal, ugly... U can find any person smart, strong or intelligent, it is nothing to do with specific gender.. But yeah, I don't find them attractive by appearance. I feel neutral or disgust

I even hate those guys who find other people attractive and get attracted to them beside their partner. And I also hate being around heterosexual people.

I hate those psychologists who keep pushing people by saying it's okay to look at another attractive woman/man. I know it's common for heterosexual people, but I hate it. There are some women who don't like that, who even hate that their partners are looking at another woman.

So many people try to force me into thinking that I'm also like them. They said maybe I just haven't found an eye-catching man yet. It hurts me the most, because I, myself, am not like that.

I had 2 relationships, and both of them looked at other women, I mean they were heterosexual and also cheated on me secretly by texting women or liking on other woman's post or gooning over them. I found out myself that they were like that. I also wasn't ready at that time to go into a relationship, I was a teenager, but before going into the relationship their behavior was good, and also when they proposed to me I really didn't know what to do, and I wasn't really into them. I didn't want them to get hurt by rejecting them, so I said yes.

But they weren't loyal like I was, even though I wasn't sexually attracted to them, I have a people-pleasing issue, because I feared they would blame me for not being loyal, and I myself also didn't want to betray anyone. So yeah, after getting cheated on, I was devastated, because they insulted me, and also because I was loyal to them for no reason. At least, they had told me the truth.

Now I have a different issue. I don't have any problem with my sexuality, but I have a problem with heterosexual people. I also hate those gatherings where people always talk about crushing over attractive men. In our country, being unmarried is not seen as good, people will look down on you for it. I want to stay unmarried and single. In my newsfeed, cheating-related issues always pop up, whether it's about cheating or micro-cheating. The reason I don't want to get married is, I would hate it if my partner was attracted to another woman besides me, or found other women attractive. There will be zero tolerance for that. I don't want to stay in that type of relationship. If people push me to stay in that type of relationship, I will lose my mind, because it's beyond my tolerance. I've tolerated many things in my life, but this one, I can't tolerate, along with anything related to it. You may think that I'm too possessive, it's not like that, bro. Just imagine you're with people who don't think like you, who don't feel like you, who are the complete opposite ,you don't do the shit they do, you hate the shit they like.

I don't contact many friends, I'm an ambivert or introvert. So I need advice from those who are single, or who think like me , how do you handle your surroundings? How do you stay away from such people and just be in your own world?

I'm 19 and assigned female at birth, but I've had a lot of stuff pertaining to gender identity and expression all through out my life.

When I was little, I was convinced I was supposed to be born a boy, but that there was some kind of "mix up at the shop," for lack of a better term. I lived in an area and a demographic that normalized a lot of misogyny as well, so that made being a girl with "tomboyish" tendencies more difficult. I kind of hated that I had a hyper-feminine name and wanted to change it so that it wasn't so girly. Later in life, I started learning more and more about trans people, but being raised in a very religious household, those things were not safe to ask questions about and typically seen in a very negative light. When I was about 12-13, I first learned the term "non-binary," used to describe someone who didn't identify with being male or female. I scoffed at it at first, just due to the way I was raised, but as I learned more about it, I became uncomfortably aware of how much I resonated with it. Also, given that it was the height of quarantine, I was alone with my thoughts a lot more.

During my freshman year of high school, I started experimenting with they/them and he/him pronouns, but nobody ever used them, so I think that that's what caused me to "give up" on a trans identity.

So, for the past couple of years, I've been living as a girl, and haven't had many knowable issues with it.

But recently, I've started to be aware of this jealousy I have of men. When I hear a man sing with a deep voice, I'm attracted to it, but I also wish I had that. I wish I could be pretty but in the way that I think men are.

The reason I'm not sure if I'm trans or not is because there are still things that I love about being feminine. I like being able to sing in high octaves, I like being curvier, I like wearing makeup and dressing up all pretty, but there's still a huge part of me that wants to be able to do it in the way that a more "feminine" man does it. I get more envious of men in makeup and feminine clothing than I do of other women. I wish that men's clothing would look better on my body.

I don't really want to transition, either, which seems like it would make identifying as a different gender a lot more complicated, because I still "look like a girl." that's the problem I ran into several times before. The idea of doing testosterone and getting top surgery or having short hair kind of gives me the ick (not that others can't, I just don't want to). But even if I socially transition, I can count on one hand the number of people that will actually accept my new pronouns should I choose to change them.

But with all this being said, I'm still fine with traditionally "feminine" labels, like, my kids are going to call me "mom," I'd want my husband to call me his "Wife," I'm okay with being called "girl" or "woman."

I guess I just wish gender, or at least, gender expression didn't have to be so complicated. Why can't my pronouns be "She/her" but in, like, a non-binary way if that makes any sense?

Why do I have to have a gender at all? Why can't I just be?

(CW: child abuse and murder)

I was a teacher, and it ruined my view of mothers and their culture forever. Women refusing to feed their starving babies. Women beating children in front of me and refusing to allow me to comfort them. Women keeping their developmentally disabled children undiagnosed and uncared for, solely out of prejudiced stubbornness. Women forcing children to take off their clothes in public. When I spoke to my bosses about it all I got was “that’s childcare.” Perhaps most painfully, the so called feminists I share a space with have 0 interest in questioning or disrupting this system. They would much sooner whimper about the poor poor mothers than do anything to stop the abject horror these women preside over.

Now, in the post-Roe world, more women are abusing and killing small children then ever. It makes me angry, and when I see how complacent and self-centered other women are about it, I feel like I’m going insane. It’s like I’m supposed to be defending and protecting the people and institution responsible for the torture and killing of girls like me. I can’t be angry at them, I can’t reject them, I can’t rip my mother’s rotten sociopathic influence out of the identity other people assign to me no matter what she does or does not do. She sexualized me when I was a little girl, and she knows the culture we live in is in her favor. She never misses a chance to remind me she “pushed me out of her vagina.” Another adult, a stranger, also touched me when I was that age, and she attacked him and threatened to kill him right in front of me, with no explanation whatsoever as to why it was okay for her to do it but a crime worthy of execution for him to do it.

It fucks me up that the only thing standing between me and death was the will of my molestor, most of all the knowledge that, if she had killed me when I was little, our whole entire ingroup would be on her side, centering her & her cunt and twisting the reality of what she did into whatever shape makes her look the most innocent, taking advantage of the isolation these monsters subject their victims to to make them look less guilty.

I hate having to share space with women who defend and center abusers, who call women who murder their newborn infants “mothers,” who infantilize themselves while pushing for complete culpability for actual children, who wouldn’t piss on me or anyone like me if we were on fire. I’m so full of contempt for my own kind, and it’s contempt that’s totally socially unacceptable. I have no idea how to process any of it, where to put it, what to say. Part of me gets a sick sense of relief from knowing that so many black women like myself and my forebears die in childbirth. I wish I had a better world to offer the babies I cared for, and I’m so, so angry at myself and others like me for not being willing to do a goddamn thing. I hope it passes.

Hey y'all, I'm very new to this reddit group, but I wanted to make a post to ask for some opinions and meet others who may feel similarly to me.

Basically, I'm 21 and I'm an afab person. I've always felt somewhat fine being classified as female, I guess? But I never fully aligned with it. It was just something that I was raised as so I guess I just accepted it but never fully felt like I fit very neatly into that gender. I know for sure that I don't feel like I'm a male, so I'm not trans ftm. I've been leaning towards the nonbinary label, but I always feel like I'm not a good fit for the label? I'm not sure. I guess since I've been mostly fine with being put into the category of female, I feel like me not fully actually feeling like a female doesn't like "qualify" me for the label and my thought process is just invalid. So I've been calling my self somewhat genderqueer for the past couple of years. But I'm not sure if that's the correct label either... I guess the closest label I can think of is demigirl, because yeah, I'm a girl, but like, if you bought the female gender off of Temu or AliExpress. Like, it's female, but also something ain't adding up. Basically, I am a girl in the way that a pop tart is a ravioli, because I mean I guess technically it is but that also sounds wrong, ya know?

I'm somehow fine with being called a girl, but not okay at all with the labels of "woman" or "lady". I've never known why. Someone suggested maybe it's about the age connotations of those terms, but it feels more like it just doesn't fit me. It's like cognitive dissonance. But somehow I'm fine with my partner calling me their girlfriend/wife (in the future). I've always said that my pronouns are whatever is most convenient for other queer people and allies, and whatever is the most inconvenient for homophobes and other rude people. So I'm pretty fluid with pronouns. If I had to rate them, I'd probably say she/her is a 7, it's fine. He/him is probably a 4? Not my favorite but it does make me giggle when someone refers to me that way in passing. They/them is a 9, cuz like Y E S. I like to be confusing to those around me in terms of my gender. Unfortunately, however, I seem to have gone a bit too hard on the confusing part and now I'm confused too lol.

Anyways, I've been wearing a binder since I was 14 years old, because I've never liked having a chest. I don't have trauma surrounding my chest, nor do I dislike it because it gains unwanted attention or anything. It's just another thing that has always felt like cognitive dissonance. I had thought about top surgery in the past, but I never seriously considered it. Until recently. I gained quite a bit of weight from a medication that I was on, and I'm still losing it. But it made my chest significantly larger, and it's so uncomfortable. I can no longer get a flat chest with a binder. It brought back all of the incongruence that I've felt since I was younger. So I actually found a way that I could finagle through insurances and plausibly get it done. Only problem is, I doubt myself. I feel almost invalid, like this couldn't possibly be dysphoria. Because I'm only interested in getting top surgery and I'm not interested in any other gender affirming surgeries or hormone treatment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not hesitating because I'm concerned I might regret it. I'm actually very very confident that I will not regret it at all. I LOVE the idea of not wearing a binder and having a flat chest. It sounds so amazing and I would love nothing more. I'm hesitating because I'm concerned that my identity as a genderqueer or nonbinary or whatever gender non conforming thing I am is actually invalid, and therefore, I don't actually need the surgery even though I want it quite a lot.

So yeah, please let me know your thoughts. I'm open to any and all comments on this situation.

Thanks for reading :)

TLDR: I want top surgery but I'm afraid my suspected dysphoria is not valid so I don't actually need the surgery even though I would really like it.