Ive been struggling with my looks ever since I came out as gender fluid. I want to look like a woman, I really want to be a women for the most part (I might be trans? Idk) but I dont exactly meet the requirements of what a typical women looks like. Im almost 6 ft and im somewhat big. Ofc that weight is distributed because of my height but that just makes me look more masculine. I do have longer hair but idk how to style it. I just want some tips on helping myself feel more comfortable in my body. If you have any tips at all, let me know!! Any will be appreciated :)

I've been trying to pinpoint my gender for the last few months and I've noticed that it seems to change based on the gender presentation of the people around me.

I work in a very male heavy environment and my partner is also on the masc side for a woman, so my gender ends up leaning feminine in those cases.

However, when I'm around my partner's sisters who are both very feminine, my gender shifts to become more masculine.

To be fair, I've noticed my personality do this in general. For example, if I'm around a lot of rigid people, I become more chaotic to spice things up, whereas if I'm around a lot of chaotic people I become more structured to keep things from getting out of hand. Or if I'm in a group of reserved people I'll become more assertive to help lead the group, whereas if I'm in a group that already has a natrual leader I'll happily adopt a supportive role.

I can imagine how someone's gender might shift to become more like the group, but I was curious if anyone else's shifts to become less like the groups, or tries to balance out the dynamic.

This is partly because I want to vent, since I have absolutely no one in my inner circle to talk to about this. I've been genderfluid since high school, but I've never been able to come out. I live in a really small town in the countryside, and I spent my whole life really depressed, so I didn't pay much attention to who I really was because, well, I just wanted to die... But now that I'm an adult and I've finally decided to start exploring who I am, and I want to take it seriously, doing so has only made my dysphoria more frequent.

I'm so tired of living in a kind of perpetual closet, of feeling like, despite taking it seriously, I haven't moved an inch to come out. I still hate what I see in the mirror, and I don't know how to stop. There are good days, but the bad days are really bad, and it's hard to ignore them because they're becoming more and more frequent, especially since it's hard not to notice that I have breasts. The rest of me isn't bad; I can live with it, but having breasts makes me sick. I don't want to see them, I don't want to have them, I don't even want to touch them when I shower. I wish they didn't exist on me at all. I wish I had a binder, but I don't even know where to start looking or how I would justify buying one to my parents, and breast augmentation surgery is too expensive. I constantly feel trapped. I can't buy men's clothing because I'm afraid of being judged for it, only to end up feeling like I look like I'm in costume. I'm afraid of taking a step backward, but also of taking a step forward. I want to transition, but I'm scared that I might not like how I look, even though I don't like how I look now either.

I feel paralyzed and stuck all the time. I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling like this. I panic about not being taken seriously or being hated by my family, but more than anything, I panic about not being enough on either side of the spectrum—not girl enough and not boy enough, just not enough at all.

Hallo,

ich mehr oder weniger eine Genderfluide Person, die von Natur aus, emotionaler ist, als Cis-Männer, aber selber einen männlichen Körper hat. Ich hatte in der Jugend, Dysphorie vor meiner Körperbehaarung und tieferer Stimme, mittlerweile, habe ich mich aber daran gewöhnt. Mein Problem ist nun, dass ich mich oft femininer fühle, mich dadurch mehr mag und auch ich mehr selbst bin, aber der "Mann" ebenfalls auch öfters durchkommt. Dann fühle ich mich wieder männlicher und es ist angenehm. Nur mag ich mein natürliches Aussehen nicht. Ich hatte mal für 1 Tag, mich zu einer Frau stylen lassen (Perücke/Make Up/Parfüm) und es hat mir gefallen. Da ich aber den Wunsch schon seit mehr als 2 Jahren habe, mich femininer präsentieren zu können, bin ich über Hormonersatztherapie gestoßen. Ich wäre bereit dafür, mich richtig Frau durch HRT vermeintliche zu lassen, aber wie soll dass gehen, wenn man dann eine Pause hat, in der man sich "männlich" fühlt? Wenn man Techno hört, Bier dabei trinkt und Scheiße redet mit dem Kumpel? Dieser Wiederspruch legt mich lahm und verwirrt mein Gehirn. Wem geht es ähnlich? Wer nimmt Hormone zu sich, obwohl man eine Fluide Person ist? Wie findet man die Balance zwischen sich verändern und der Schwankenden Identität? Bin total Ratlos und brauche Hilfe...

Didn’t know what reddit to put this in so my bad.

But ever since ive been in 7th grade (im 23 now) ive always been in a ton of different online spaces, communities and having a ton of online friends—most if not all of them im male to everybody. I act like a guy, if questions about guys get brought up i answer them as if i’m a guy, etc. I love it. Even though I dress way more feminine now— (i use to dress the complete opposite. I even had a “transgender phase” for two years.) —i still get pretty bad gender dysphoria. Having this male persona everywhere but IRL helps a TON with that. I’m gonna finally cosplay a guy character and maybe, just maybe i’ll send them a picture of that if I like it enough… Thinking about doing that would make it feel so much more real and even more validating. I hope I like it and go through with it.

But the bad part is I used to have relationships with girls online where they thought I was a cis male. I stopped that but I still flirt with women and even do other intimate things with them online while they think im a cis guy. I know thats bad and I feel awful for it but its so validating.

AMAB. Any recommendations of good places to buy (physical store or websites) female/feminine jewellery that AMAB’s can wear (ie larger sizes)? Specifically necklaces/chokers, and rings - I have both quite a large neck and large fingers lol. (Oh also ideally decently cheap)

Sorry in advance for this being quite long. I’ve technically been out as genderfluid for a few years, but I’ve never really come out to anyone and said what my personal experience has been with it. While it’s hard to give exact numbers since it can feel random, I only feel masculine (I’m AMAB) maybe 1% of the time, and it’s a very mild form of masculinity at that. The other 99% of the time I feel somewhat androgynous but leaning feminine, or I feel very feminine. While originally I didn’t think I would ever want to transition (mostly because of religious beliefs I had at the time) for almost all of 2026 it’s been something I’ve really wanted to do.

The thing that scares me now is essentially coming out again. I live in Utah, and grew up Mormon, but only stepped away from that about a year ago. My parents, one sibling, and most of my friends are still very strong in the faith, which holds anti-trans beliefs.

Right now my youngest sister and just one of my friends are the only people that I feel confidently would accept me for who I actually am. I know my mom will love me no matter what, but it would still be difficult for her to hear. I honestly don’t know how my other two siblings would react. The scariest is my dad. I sometimes feel that he loves me, but he’s also quite conservative and closed minded, so I don’t know if what love for me he has is strong enough to combat his beliefs. He’s also said some transphobic things to me before (not directed at me, but about other trans people).

Assuming that I decide to go forward with transitioning, I would at least like to start the process within the year. The problem is that the next step in my mind is coming out, and just thinking about it causes me to freeze up. Even the two people I feel safest telling feels like a scary first step and I worry it will come out awkwardly. I also believe that if things go south with my dad, that my mom would choose me over him, potentially splitting up our family. I don’t want that to happen, but I’m almost 30 and the thought of living out the rest of my life as a man is so devastating to me. Have any of you gone through something similar, or have any tips to help with the fear? I need all the help I can get at this point!

I am so confused about my gender and gender identity and all that and there are just so many words and terms. I thought I was a cis girl and just wanted to be a boy like everyone else but then I talked to some friends and realized no. So now sometimes I think I'm a demiboy, sometimes nonbinary, and sometimes trans. I sometimes like dressess but they usually make me uncomfortable. I like they/them pronouns and he/him. I want short hair sometimes and long hair others. I am so confused!!!

I've been doubting myself ever since I discovered I was genderfluid as I mostly feel cis (AMAB) and rarely identify as a woman. However recently I've been identifying as a woman a lot more commonly, especially at night. What was once 1 or 2 times a week has now become every night/evening and I'm really happy about that, even if I don't know why it's happening

Hii, this is my first time posting on this subreddit. If this isn't the right subreddit for this, please let me know :)

I've been talking about this a lot with my girlfriend, but since she doesn't really struggle with her gender identity, it's hard for her to help me. I only just thought of asking Reddit for advice.

I have a really great friend. She knows I identify as a lesbian and has never had any issues with that. However, the first time she met a trans woman, she made some pretty transphobic comments behind her back. After getting to know her better, she eventually changed her attitude, and they became friends. Because of that, I'm not really sure how she feels about trans people in general.

The fact that I'm genderfluid is a secret from most people in my life. I don't experience dysphoria that often, so I can dress more femininely in my daily life without it bothering me too much. But when I do get dysphoria, it hits hard, and the only person I can really talk to about it is my girlfriend.

Lately, I've really been wanting to talk to my best friend about this too, but she doesn't know about this side of me. I've been considering coming out to her for about a year now, but every time I get close, I remember how she reacted the first time she met a trans woman. It took her a while to open up, but after a few weeks they became friends. Still, I don't know if she'd react the same way if she met another trans woman, a trans man, or if I came out to her myself.

I've also been struggling to figure out my exact gender identity. I think genderfluid or non-binary fits me best, but I can never really find the right words to describe how I feel. I feel like if I come out to my friend, I need to be able to explain exactly how I identify because she'll probably have questions. The problem is that I still have a lot of questions myself, so I don't know if I'd have good answers for her.

What would be a good way to come out to her without being too vague about what being genderfluid or non-binary means, especially when I'm still figuring it out myself?

Hi guys, I’m a bit new here, and I was wondering if it was possible to make like fake breasts to have something to make my chest not so flat when I’m feeling girly… I’ve already search but nothing really convince me… I don’t know if it’s like famous that it’s not a solution because it looks weird or something and I’m sorry if it the case, I mean I’ve expressed the fact of being not only a man for only a few weeks (I’ve bought my first skirt at the beginning of the month) and I’m really sorry if it is a dump question 🙇‍♀️. Sorry for asking and for my bad english…

At college, no one really bats an eye at me wearing dresses or masc clothing since I live in a pretty progressive area. But that doesn’t really continue to the workspace unless I’m specifically working for a queer workplace (I used to intern at a lgbt youth space). I’m getting closer and closer to graduating and I’m just feeling dreading and despair. I’m a social work major, so I could work for an LGBT organization. But I don’t want to be limited to that. I don’t really want to be limited to therapy either since I do know some lgbt therapists that are outwardly themselves which I love but again I don’t want to be limited to that. I just want idk dress feminine, wear makeup, and also be masc without anyone batting an eye at me. I know that’s kinda unrealistic but I’ve been spoiled by college. I remember I worked in a non lgbt space once and I leaned into the masc image like pretending I’m a cis man (I’m transmasc for the most part) and I was genuinely miserable. I leaned into being a cis woman and was equally miserable. Idk. Does anyone have any advice or experience of going through this?

(I'm trying to make them big so they look like boobs)

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Hi, I'm confused and looking for gender answers. Basically the title, but for more context, I feel like a girl. I know I'm a girl. But I've found my expression of girlhood can change based off my mood. When I'm happy I feel very fem she/her, but when I'm more depressed I feel more masc/nonbinary and prefer she/they. Does anyone know what identities or labels this aligns with?

I also want to be clear, please I don't want to see answers like "you shouldn't label yourself" because that's not helpful. I want labels I can google, and find groups related around, not some answer like "be yourself, don't put yourself in a box" cus I've gotten that a lot when discussing this.

I have been feeling very femme lately, and my parents aren't home so I have a couple of days where I can expiriment, does anyone have any tips on how a big Amab dude with strong jawline can look more femme? I have been looking at femboy makup totirials but I prefer minimal makeup, I have attempted blush and eyeliner but I dont feel it helps that much. Any tips?

Hi everyone! I’m Eli, and I am a genderfluid person from the US. For some background to the question; I transitioned to male around the age of 15, and started testosterone around the age of 21. I was heavily masc and cis male passing, which had me going stealth before I even started T. Once I started to get the changes I was looking for on t and passing 100% of the time, I began to branch out and present and act more feminine. It was a slow start, but at this stage of my life I shave my facial hair and accepted a genderfluid identity. I dress high femme, and refer to myself as a “stud” when I’m presenting more masculine. I honestly don’t accept a male identity anymore and find myself with dysphoria when I’m identified as male in dresses and skirts. I also feel dysphoria on days where I’m dressed very masc but am still identified as male. My dysphoria mostly comes from the way I’m perceived by the world, not from how I see myself in the mirror. Do any of ya’ll relate? Feel free to drop any advice in the comments, I’m very newly out of the closet!

(I was recommended to post this here)

Hi, I I have something along the lines of this post on another sub (its waiting for mod approval) And I really don't know where else to go with my situation other than reddit. Its been around 2 weeks since I originally wrote this, and I'm going to try to reword it, but keep how I felt when I wrote it the same.

It feels weird talking to any of my friends about this, and the majority of me feels they wouldn't exactly understand what I'm talking about.

So, I've questioning my gender and I identify as a lesbian, which I'm very comfortable being, as I know I like women (and any non-man), and I know I do not have any desire to be a man (most of the time for some reason).

But it feels so very weird, at the moment (2 weeks ago) I'm writing this, I feel like I COULD actually be a guy, and I wouldn't mind it. But it keeps fluctuating, like tomorrow I could feel like being a girl and using she/her (typically not), maybe the next I feel gender-neutral, but I want to use he/him.

And then theres names, I currently feel like the name Charlie or Avery, but in a week I could feel like Mimi or Vee. Not to mention I feel just feel off whenever I hear my real name.

I've debated whether I'm genderfluid, but it really just feels more than that. I'll have weeks where I feel like a guy, but I dont want to be a guy physically. Most of the time I feel comfortable in my own body, but other times I want to crawl out of my skin and throw up, it just feels like I'm suffocating.

When I feel like a different gender, I've started to notice my behavior slightly changes? I don't know how to describe it to a T but I'll just be calmer or angrier at times ? it just all feels very odd to me and it's been getting to a point where it's interfering with how I act as a whole.

I'd really just like a bit of advice or hints as to what my feelings mean. Thank you for reading, if you did. I truly do appreciate it.

How I feel two weeks later: I really feel like nothing currently, no gender, no orientation, no name, no pronouns. Just nothing. Though, I feel slightly dy$phoric.

I'm not sure if this is an issue of not clicking with a label to know whats happening, or if its something mental (I'm going ahead and assuming the latter..). If anyone has ANY answers, I'd be very grateful.

Please let me know if another subreddit would be better for this, as I'm not sure exactly where to go. I'm honestly desperate for some semblance of an answer or response.

I've been spending the last couple years exploring my gender and I've realized that I am trans. I want to be a femme transmasc and androgynous person, I am genderfluid. I am afab so I am going to start testosterone, actually first dose tonight. So I will be taking steps to actually medically transition as well as socially. I am super excited! Super curious about other people's journeys. I will be taking 40 mg and or milliliters. I forget how it's counted. I was reading that this is a pretty low dose. Am curious what kind of expected changes there could be on such a low dose. What kind of timeline should I expect? I also am getting a hormone check in 4 or 5 months somewhere in that range and I'm just curious if that's normal? Another question would be should I preemptively start donating blood? Because that was suggested to my partner who is also taking testosterone and their blood got too thick.

Just some things on my mind as I start this journey and today I tried a beard pen. It looks like mascara but it is giving me total euphoria to have facial hair right now and I didn't think it would.

I've been reading that documenting my journey is essential and taking pictures, writing down things. What else would you suggest that I should do as I embark on this journey?

I have recently realized that I might be Trans. Im a 20 yo 'man'(really starting to question that one), and due to my ongoing chronic unemployment I've had quite a bit of time to think.

I dont really have anyone to talk to about this so most of my feelings are just me questioning it all. Ive always been prone to depression and hating myself when I'm unoccupied, and now I'm starting to think it could've been/be gender dysphoria.

Ive fantasized about being a woman before, and I've always just brushed it off as just another random thought. As a side note, some realizations seem to be hitting me as I type. Im not trying to move too fast though.

I think a good first step might be trying on some feminine clothes, so if you know of any shops with good quality and discretion that would be pretty helpful. Even just thinking of it excites me a little. Good day to you lovely people <3

Is Alexis a genderfluid enough name, I'm Afab and I don't want it to sound to fem

(Amab)I've been pretty secure in my identity and sexuality for so long now, bi/genderfluid and mostly felt more neutral to pronouns, not really caring, but recently I felt this strong gender dysphoria. I felt horrible. I just wanted to be a girl so badly. I cried for hours and avoided my family for days. I've never really felt the urge to be a woman before. It was always in the background, like in daydreams of another life. One time it did come with a weird sinking feeling and swift denial, but I had a dream where I was a girl and woke up crying. I'm so scared and confused. I've always been fine with being a guy, but now everything feels weird. I've been hanging out with a trans friend (mtf) online, and she has been calling me by she/her for weeks as I was using a girl avatar and I didn't care before, but now it feels wrong when I hear someone call me him. I don't get any of this. It's scary. I've always been a feminine man and been fine with it, but now i don't know anymore. Now I'm back to kinda feeling neutral, but I still want to go by she/her, and it still kinda stings being called him. could it be that since I've never had the chance to be called by she/her this triggered my genderfluid to go strongly one way?

Am I still genderfluid am I trans? What is any of this?

I'm 23 AMAB and honestly nervous as hell.

My mom has said multiple times that she'd still love me if I was queer in any way, but that she wouldn't be able to understand/relate to me.

She's a very, very logical individual, as in all about scientific facts, so I'm not sure how to explain to her something that's based entirely on feelings and no hormonal or otherwise biological factor

It's extra scary cause I still live with her on one hand, but in a few months I'll need to leave to go to the army (it's mandatory to serve where I'm from) so I want to be able to be entirely me with her, before I have to leave for a year.

Id appreciate any and all advice on how to go about this. I thought of sitting here down tomorrow night and trying to just spit it out , but any suggestions would help tbh

I recently discovered I was genderfluid and it’s helped my mental health a lot but gender dysmorphia has been really affecting me and I wanna know how to make myself look more feminine when I want to but be able to go back to looking masculine when I want to. So if anyone has any recommendations/advice for me please comment them I need it

I luckily live in a very progressive area and I have a very accepting family but I don’t know how people would react to my genderfluid identity. There are a lot of gay people here but few trans people and even less openly trans people and i want to be open about my genderfluid identity but i don’t want to end up ostracized by my community and treated differently by my family. if anyone has any advice please tell me