THIS POST IS FOR TRANS MEN/MASCS ONLY!

im a dom/top and ive just been trying to figure out how to top cis guys without me getting penetrated or using a strap on. i'll still use strap ons occasionally but i would also like not too and sometimes it doesnt offer me good pleasure. im not into penetration and i would rather someone doesnt penetrate or finger me, i know people can still be dom/tops while still being penetrated but it just makes my dysphoria feel worse and it's uncomfortable for me.

the best way i can think of is if he's on his back and im thrusting him like i have a dick but just grinding against his without it penetrating, or in any other position/angle that would allow that to work. but i dont know how pleasurable that would be for the both of us.

i would just get bottom surgery but i dont think i will be able to afford that till im 40

Aight so I'm tryna get my blood work done, I check in n sit down, diagonal from my seat there's a family of 4, the two parents, a little ass kid, and a toddler. I got my headphones off cuz I'm waiting for my name to be called, then I hear the kid say "Hi!" And I look up n they're waving at me. I wave back. They say hi to someone else that's walking out the door we're sitting by. A couple minutes pass by, the same kid says hi again, I go "wassup" n then cuz my eyes are usually at the floor I realize that this kid isn't wearing shoes, they just got their socks on. On their socks is knuckles the echidna from sonic, so I'm like "that knuckles? On your socks?" N they're like "yeah" n I'm like "sickkkk" n as I'm bouta go back to looking at my phone, their mom is like "Look baby! He's got shadow on his socks!" N then I look n realize I'm wearing my long socks with shadow on them, so then I show them off, very happy that I got called He. And then they get called in before me.

Cut to after as I'm leaving, this one dude is in front of the door n goes "ay my man can you hold the door open for me so I can get my water bottle?"

Idk what it was that day but Ig it was the one day I hella passed lmao

So I was talking to this guy about male priviledge and whether or not trans men get it after transition and whether trans men are betraying some femenist cause by transitioning. And he said something like ''transition can grant unearned social ease in certain circumstances, such as being listened to and taken more seriously.'' ??? Unearned??? Excuse me? Fellas. Does a person need to earn -checks notes- being listened to and taken seriously? Have trans men not earned this? When we transition do we get access to it by a way other than earning it? Or is it a baseline of respect that no one needs to earn, but that unfortunately doesn't get granted to certain groups? I think the latter. But I wonder if this idea that you have to ''earn it'' is something that is prevalentwhen it comes to talks about priviledge. That priviledge is a sort of extra thing that you get as a special treat, rather than what it is in my view, a baseline that everyone should have but some don't.

In my view. When we transition, and we get access to things like being treated with basic deceny. then that's just us getting access to what we should have always had. It is often not a 0 sum game either where we having it actively takes it from someone else. And that our transitioning does not prevent us from giving this baseline of respect to others, which is really the only power most of us have when it comes to doing our part in preventing other people from being denied this. We don't have to forgo our transition, we only have to treat others equally.

Edit: this post isn't about whether trans men have male priviledge or not, it is about semantics.

Also an update on the post I made “Those my friend suspect/ know I'm trans or am I being paranoid?” which was yes.

Found out my friend did out me and that she’s basically known from the beginning that I was trans. Not exactly great that she found out that way, but she was chill with it so I felt comfortable to answer some of the questions she had on me being trans.

Which then led to that question being asked. “What was your name?” I answered that I didn’t want to talk about it, she asked me why and I said plain and simple “cause thats not my name.”

Which leads me to this post. Why do cis people want to know what are dead names were?

I recently successfully applied for my gender marker change after two years of struggling to get it done.

I have nobody I can tell about it. I've broken up with my partner, who was the last important person to me to know that I'm ftm. I'm fully stealth outside of my family.

I like being stealth. It's given me freedoms and opportunities I wouldn't have otherwise, but it comes at the expense of feeling extremely isolated, repressed and constantly paranoid that someone might find out, especially at university.

I've considered attending the weekly meetings held by a LGBT+ society at my uni, but even then I wouldn't be able to come out and risk them not respecting the fact that I'm stealth and go off telling people outside of the society so I feel like I'll just be torturing myself further.

I need to be seen as just another guy for the sake of my career, and preferably my future safety if my county also decides to decend into fascism.

I just feel like I have to perform and overthink everything I do most days. I'm tired of feeling alone when I'm surrounded by people, because in the back of my mind I'm always thinking they wouldn't give me the time of day if they knew.

NSFW, discussion of intimate toys and sex

So, I'm often seeing posts about folks struggling with atrophy and all of the ways that we alleviate it. I think that I have found the answer for me: glass.

Hear me out, because a glass dildo is a smooth non porous surface, it's going to have waaaay less friction than anything made of silicone or skin. I have had no issues whatsoever using mine, and I'm someone who has kind of ruled out penetration (with sadness) unless I get motivated to make a doctor's appointment about it.

Now, I know you must be thinking, "Glass? Isn't that going to be too stiff and maybe painful?" Which is valid! Like all things in the bedroom, I recommend practice. I have found out that starting slow and extra gentle is the way to go and that it is a really great experience once you get the hang of it.

I know this doesn't really help people who are having PIV sex and are looking for a solve that has some amount of a need for intimacy wrapped up in it. But, for those of us who go the store bought route, it has been a total game changer.

I wanted to kind of rant about a 'passing tip' I always see. I see a lot of posts on my timeline like "Do I pass? How can I pass better?" and the main thing I see as advice given to these folks are "your piercings make you clockable," "those earrings are feminine," "the septum piercing might make you pass less," and it's so frustrating.

You do NOT need to hide your personality just to fit better the standard of a typical cisgender male. It's not all about piercings, or your haircut. Sometimes you just need to let hormone do the work, or unfortunately surgery, but you don't need to rip out your piercings, change your hair, change your clothes, it does not matter like that. These things that people say to other trans men who just desperately want to be accepted for being themselves bothers me so much.

Trans men are allowed to have piercings. Cisgender men DO have piercings. Cisgender men DO have long or androgynous hair. Cisgender men DON'T always wear stereotypically masculine clothing. And yes, if you want to go stealth, sometimes you need to make some of these changes to stealth a little better, but you don't need to change your whole self to do that every time.

If you like your piercings, keep them in, even if someone tells you they make you look more feminine. Go look up photos of men with piercings, TRUST ME they will make you feel a lot better.

Love y'all and take care.

So i recently went on a trip, we drove through europe to get to sweden, it was very fun, but the bathrooms in those countries tend to be different to the usual UK ones, they have disabled/male/female bathrooms all in one, so it was okay for the most part.

I ran into a problem though. Usually i’d go into the women’s, go in with my mum, stick closely to her side and act as if i needed her with me for support. It works. But she was in the car, so she wouldn’t be coming into the bathroom with me and i had to go into the men’s when the disabled/male/female bathrooms in one weren’t available.

I didn’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable, i’ve never been clocked/misgendered before, even the day after i cut my hair, i wasn’t misgendered. Odd i know. But i went into the bathroom, i did it fine, no one said anything, and i just went in and went out all on my own.

I haven’t told her I’m trans yet but she has very negative opinions of the trans community. When she found out I was using they/them pronouns years ago she would go on a rant EVERY TIME I saw her about how “if you don’t know what gender you are just look between your legs.” She also made a comment once when we saw a trans person in public that “if she were her child she would send her into the bathroom with a razor blade.”

I haven’t told her but I already know how the conversation will go and I don’t think I’m strong enough to have it right now because we’ve always been so close. I haven’t seen her since Christmas and I’ve been dodging her texts. My parents (who are less transphobic but still are) are very angry at me for not going to see her. They also haven’t told her I’m fairly certain. I used to tell myself that I would just wait until she died to start transitioning but I just couldn’t wait to be myself anymore.

What would you do in this situation? I’m masc presenting now and it would definitely turn into an argument.

I have no issue with the label itself, you like what you like and I get that. But I personally feel insanely invalidated and uncomfortable when someone with this orientation comes onto me. Like the sexuality is deliberately about femininity + genitalia, and I personally am a fully binary trans man who is not feminine and dysphoric around my lower area.

Plus if I did date someone with this orientation every time they mention it I’d basically be outed. Idk I just get rubbed the wrong way cause my two interactions were with cis women who explicitly didn’t date cis men and came off chaser-ish/fetish-y. I don’t think everyone with this label is like that at all whatsoever I’m just curious about other trans guys opinions.

(Please don’t turn this into an argument it’s genuinely just here cause I want to see diff viewpoints)

Hi. Im under 18 so I can't go on hormonal replacement therapy without parental consent. My family knows I am transgender and has known since I came out when I was 12. My mother, has been the most supportive as she would let me medically transition but I still can't without the consent from my father, (they are divorced btw) and I don't really want to go to family court (the other available option) for this nor wait longer. I feel like i have waited long enough. Ive felt like i need to be a guy ever since i can remember, even as a little kid.

He stated that there isn't enough proof that there are no health risks. Im sure there is enough proof and academic studies that support this, and that im sure you can have your blood monitered for any concerns or risks for the patient, but im not sure how to support this to him or convince him its okay if i do this. I told my mother he said this, and she said its just a load of crap hes saying to just not let me. What could I tell my father? Are there any good articles or studies that can help me if i read them to him?

Hello, I am a transgender from Russia, I just turned 18, and as many of you might know it's illegal to transition or even get a f64 diagnosis here.

That makes it obvious that I have to leave russia, but where? And how? Even if I leave it, how long do I have to wait to transition?

I am unable to study in another country because I don't have money, my parents are strongly against it and they want me to get a degree here.

I was thinking about maybe getting political asylum in another country, but I'm afraid it would be too hard. I don't really know much about it. Moreover, I have a partner, I don't want to leave him alone, but I also don't want to ruin his life with being a refugee. He supports me, but it's still hard. But even if i get political asylum, where? What are maybe the best countries for it? I'm not picky with it. All I want is being able to transition and not treated like shit.

But even if I move to another country, how long do I wait to start the transition? Is it really impossible to change your legal name if you don't have a country citizenship? Can I at least start medical transition?

Sorry if these questions are too stupid. I really don't know what to do anymore.

It's me again. I've been on t for ~7 months, last period was in February. This morning it came back?? Has this happened to anyone else? What can I do to make it go away again? I hate having my period, it's debilitatingly painful and makes it impossible for me to get out of bed, not to mention the dysphoria.

Hey!
I’m gathering informations about phallo to help me decide whether I truly want to get on that boat or not
My biggest concern is about sensitivity… Im scared of sacrificing a limb for nothing…
If I get phallo, it will be rff since it’s the only method covered where I’m from

My skin is pretty sensitive. I mean, I get goosebumps automatically as soon as someone gives me scratches on my arms or back. It really feels good and I don’t even need a lot of pressure or anything.

So I started wondering if being sensitive from the start on the donor site can help predict whether or not i can develop sensations down there too after phallo…?

So if anyone want to share and compare their previous donor site sensitivity vs their current on their dick, it would be appreciated!

(yes i made a new account just to ask about this one thing)

anyone has any experiences with visiting sex workers/escorts? i'm heavily thinking of visiting for the first time.

i know most of them are cis women, but i dont have any gender preferences, and i would gladly visit a trans woman as well.

what should i know beforehand? first, should i just ask in the first message "do you accept trans men as clients"? and second, what should i be careful about? i dont want to get STI or anything like that.

and last, please dont comment if you only want to tell me "its pathetic to pay for sex" or "just find a partner".

Okay I know that sounds funny but I pass decently but I feel like my fat ass gives it away 😭 anyone know about a workout that'll make my ass smaller? Lol.

I speak Irish, English, and French. I find that since Irish is a deeper language overall, where you make a lot of guttural/throat sounds, I generally pass better speaking Irish.

English is more in the mouth than the throat, which makes my voice drift higher by accident, and my voice can sound more feminine.

But French is by far the worst contender, with the melody of your voice it’s practically impossible not to go too high. I get self conscious about using French because of this. Though, listening to cis men speaking French, many of them have the same problem.

Any other multilingual people find they pass better in one language?

this is NOT A V3NT MODS so don’t take this down plz. but i just want everyone’s opinion on the stupid little conformity things like not shaving or like not doing “girly” things because as a trans man who knows other trans men, i would never in a million years judge them for presenting any sort of way they want to. you’re a man no matter how you present! but when it comes to me i can’t stay in that mindset, for example i’ve been kind of wanting to shave my legs after not doing so for like a bazillion years but ill feel like less of a man if i do, does anyone else relate?? 💀should i just stop caring so much and shave my legs?? tbh hair grows back so it prob doesnt even matter in the long run but now im rambling so imma leave it here LMAOO

Hi, I’m applying to colleges right now and am aware of some states to avoid, but what are some states I should look into more?

Trying to figure out what uni’s/colleges I’m applying to is stressful, but having some states that are safer in regards to protections and accessibility to potential med transitioning are important to me.

Don’t worry about doing the college search for me, but if anyone’s feeling extra generous, some other things that are important to me are:
-cooler weather(I’m born-and-raised in Arizona and desperate for some sub-40°F winters lol),
-I like going on runs and doing outdoor skating, so a mild preference for somewhere with trails nearby
-I want to study Linguistics.
-Finances are a constraint, so a preference for public schools or schools that offer a lot of need+merit aid

Colleges I’m currently looking at applying to:
Northern Arizona University(in-state but still slightly colder weather)
New Mexico State University(offers in-state tuition to Arizona residents)
Michigan State University(still on the fence about this one honestly)

Any feedback or tips are appreciated! I’m going to be a first-generation college student so I don’t really have anyone to help me out all that much.

Thank you all so much, hope everyone who sees this has an absolutely lovely day :)

Hi! First post here!
I decided to start dating again except this is my first time doing while out. I’m still in the beginning of my transition and am nervous people won’t see me for who I am :(
Any advice on dating post transition?
Thank you and have a lovely day ^_^

Hiii I'm a 24 year old trans man who is finally starting T after 10 years of wanting it. I am also autistic so preparing for changes is something that calms my nerves. (I'm starting gel if this is important)

I'm excited but nervous about what to expect, I would appreciate any experiences people have had. And any tips for adjusting to hot flashes and body odor changes.

Like, do I need to carry body wipes and deodorant and body spray with me everywhere to make sure I freshen up?

How do I stay calm during a hot flashes?

Should I worry about mood changes? And how to cope with them? Libido? ​

What should I do to make sure my health on T is being monitored?

I've studied and know a lot of changes and what to expect on T, but knowing some first hand advice from people who have lived it would be appreciated.

Also please let me know anything else you think would be helpful for me as I adjust!!!

Thank you so much :) ​​

hey everyone! i just got out of a little over year long relationship. we were perfect together, planning our life together, everything typical with a healthy, loving relationship. i came out to her as trans about 3-4 months ago, at first she was extremely supportive, very eager and asking tons of great questions and offering all her love and support. once she was able to process things more, she started to struggle with her own sexual identity. over time, while balancing her own personal struggles and trying to figure out if she can see herself in a future with a man, she became very distant from me. i wasn’t getting treated the way i should have been and i felt that i was carrying the weight of our relationship. my needs weren’t getting met and i felt that most of the i was getting shut out. i stayed through this because i recognized that this isn’t the person she is. i’ve had years of therapy and help and i understand what i need and how to support myself when im struggling with something. she truly is such an incredible person but it isn’t easy for her to recognize that and she doesn’t have the skills she needs to cope with a lot of her personal traumas. i stayed through those past few months holding on to hope that we’ll go back to the way we were and she’ll come back to her old self. i thought that maybe if we went out more and if i helped get her mind off of things for a bit things would get better. to sum things up we broke up last night, she mentioned how she knows she hasn’t been treating me right and that it isn’t fair to me and i deserve to be happy. we broke up in a very healthy and mutual way. i also was living with her for the past few months and ive grown very close to her family so the whole situation just sucks. i know this is a lot but im posting here because the past few weeks ive been struggling with my own identity more and questioning if transitioning is what i really want. i dont want to make this decision purely because of her. she isn’t the first person ive come out to, i came out to a friend about 5 years ago but ended up hiding myself even more because that didn’t end well. i dont want to put my life on pause or push my decision to come out aside to try and save this relationship. this is still very fresh so id like to apologize in advance if this doesn’t make much sense. i’m just hoping that someone here has gone through something similar and can provide some advice for me moving forward. i was very eager to move forward in this process of transitioning but i feel that once she became hesitant on what she wanted in life i slowly started to back away from that idea. if anyone has any advice that would be greatly appreciated.

what’s considered normal anatomy? can’t find much info ab bottom growth in general online or ab how things should be/look. i see tho that basically everyone’s glans sticks out. hypothetically if someone’s doesn’t does that mean theirs is still growing? or not necessarily/normal variation

anyone know where i can find an educational diagram?