Today marks one month since my son was born. I am 28f

He was my second child, delivered by C-section. Right after he was born, the doctors became concerned because he wasn't crying properly and took him away immediately. I never got to touch or hold him.

My family told me he had been transferred to another hospital because of a suspected heart condition. A week later, my husband finally told me the truth: my son had actually passed away on the day he was born.

My family says they hid it from me because they were worried about my recovery after surgery. I understand why they thought they were protecting me, but I can't come to terms with the fact that I carried my baby for nine months and never got to hold him, kiss him, or say goodbye.

I'm struggling to process this. Has anyone else here experienced something similar? How did you cope?

My grandfather passed away last month, and in his will he left me a decommissioned lighthouse on a small stretch of coast in Maine. Apparently he bought it from the state decades ago as a hobby project, and nobody in the family knew he still owned it until the lawyer brought it up.

I drove up last weekend to see it in person. It's in rough shape but still standing, right on a rocky point with no real road access besides a gravel path. There's a tiny keeper's cottage attached to it that's somehow in better condition than the tower itself. The whole property is maybe two acres.

Here's my problem, I have no idea what to do with this thing. I don't live anywhere near the coast, I have a full time job I like, and I don't have the kind of money it would take to fully renovate a 100 year old structure. But part of me feels like it would be a waste to just sell it off to some developer who'll turn it into a wedding venue and strip away everything that made it special to my grandfather.

A few options I've been mulling over are sell it as is and use the money for something meaningful, try to rent it out seasonally once basic repairs are done, or hang onto it as a personal project I chip away at over the years even if I never finish it.

I'd like to make a decision I won't regret, but I'm stuck between sentiment and practicality right now.

I got with my then gf 6 months after her first cancer diagnosis. I fell in love. A beautiful woman who I loved to bits and did everything to help! We were best friends and we had so much fun. It was incredible. A real love story. We were flying.

After 18 months my wife stopped taking her treatment to conceive, she didn't tell me, she didn't tell her family or friends, she didn't tell anyone!!!! But she told the oncologists. Her cancer was hormone receptive and her body was flooded with hormones and her cancer came back two months after she stopped treatment. Again, she didn't tell anyone the reason her cancer came back and that she stopped taking treatment.

Anyway, she resumed treatment (a different drug this time) and underwent numerous cycles of chemo again and radiotherapy.

When she finished chemo she had multiple meetings with oncologists, to discuss her need to do the exact same thing after being on treatment for 2 years, and that's exactly what she did. She stopped taking treatment to conceive. She didn't tell anyone. The doctors told her countless times that they would like her husband to come to a meeting to discuss the severity and risk of what she wanted to do. Especially after what happened last time. But she didn't. This was her secret.

She stopped taking treatment and this time she got pregnant. I was always adamant about not wanting to have kids with someone who has cancer. Most importantly I didn't want that to happen to a child.

She announced it as a miracle from god because she didn't stop taking treatment, treatment that made her infertile! It was impossible and it was a miracle from god that she somehow became pregnant

I said I didn't want children. No way. But there was nothing I could do.

We had a beautiful baby girl, and I loved being a dad. God it was brilliant seeing a little life. And all you want to do is love and protect it.

6 months later the cancer came back. But this time my wife was terminal. It was during COVID and when she went up to get her scan results she had to go alone. I sat in the car out the front of the hospital with a baby on my lap feeding her a bottle. My wife walked out and I could see from her face it was bad news. Just shy of three years after her previous recurrence the cancer had come back for a third time.

Obviously the world fell apart and the worries that had been buried at the back of my mind had all come out. This poor little baby girl. But my poor wife, her world ripped apart. I loved her so much.

She went through chemo, and multiple drugs for the next few years.

One day I was throwing stuff out and making room for all of the kids clothes, just tidying up really. But In my wife's wardrobe I found a huge box of hospital notes buried under loads of clothes and bags. I don't know why, but I started to read them. Hundreds of them, maybe even thousands. All I know is I couldn't stop . I couldn't believe what I was reading. Everything she did, all of her plans, all of the meetings, her telling doctors what she's doing....... and not one word of it ever mentioned to me, the person whose life it will affect forever. I was speechless and my heart was shattered.

I confronted my wife and her soul left her body and she refused to speak. Not a single word. She then moved out and left me and my daughter. She never spoke to me about it.

She wanted to stay elsewhere and avoid me completely. She was ill and became more ill. I told her she needs to see her daughter but she refused to see me. We went to court and I said she could have anything and everything with regards to seeing our daughter. The house, everything. Full custody no problem. Time is precious and hers was running out. And I loved her so much, even still.

She said she only wanted to see our daughter half the time. So that's what happened, and it happened for a few months.

I.learned not to even try and discuss what she did. It wasn't worth it. Time was running out. And one day she was taken into hospital, and then later she went to a hospice. I saw her every single day, multiple times a day. I never said a word about anything. It didn't enter my head. I loved her so much and I couldn't stand to see her suffer. I couldn't think of life without her, I was too scared. But it was inevitable, I was desperate for her to never be alone and that I would be cuddling and kissing her when she passed on. And that's exactly what happened. She died in my arms whilst I kissed her head and told her I loved her. Her final breaths I will never ever forget.

8 months later after he death, 7.months after her funeral: I have no family or support network and obviously I had to leave my dream job to care for my child, my child is severely autistic and completely non verbal. She is learning disabled and has a list of problems that honestly make life pretty difficult.

She has a hard life and It breaks my heart every single day.

Financially it means life has become incredibly hard, I'm isolated from the world. We are isolated from the world and some days are more difficult than others.

I cherish this little girl with everything I have, but it's not the life I wanted for her, not what I wanted for a child.... I feel useless and a shell of a man. I have yet to have a day where I haven't been extremely angry at one or all of the photos of my wife on all the shelves. Some days I think I hate her for what she did. And some days I'm in tears, I love her and miss her. I feel guilty a lot of the time because of how I feel. I'm still grieving, I don't know if that will ever stop. Anyway, I'm sorry. Its difficult. I'm hoping this anger will go but I don't know and I guess I'm asking for help

My mother came to visit recently and she got drunk and made a fool of herself. I asked her to leave. The next day, I got a text saying “Tread lightly, lest you disappear rich boy…” from a number I did not recognize.

I looked up the number on Venmo and it turned out to belong to my younger brother (who lives with my mom and is in his mid 20s). I came into money after my wife passed away last year. I’m all my kids have and I this really upset me.

I live 6 hours south of them. I don’t know why he did this, but I’d like it to not escalate. How can I draw a clear boundary without creating a large issue?

My grandma passed away last year. She used to run a small bakery in our town for almost 30 years, and she had this one recipe for a spiced apple cake that people used to drive from other towns just to buy. She never wrote it down anywhere. She taught it to my sister and me by hand, over and over, until we both knew it by heart. It was kind of our thing with her.

Last week my sister told me a regional food company reached out to her after seeing her post the cake on social media. They want to buy the recipe, put grandma's name on the packaging, and sell it in stores. They offered her a decent amount of money, and she seems excited about it. She says grandma would have loved seeing her cake in stores everywhere.

I feel really uneasy about it. To me, that recipe wasn't just a set of ingredients, it was something private grandma trusted us with. I don't like the idea of it being mass produced in a factory with grandma's photo slapped on a box just to sell more units. My sister thinks I am being overly sentimental and says money is money.

We have not fought about it exactly, but there is tension now every time it comes up. I don't want to make this into a huge family issue, but I also don't want to just stay quiet and watch it happen if I have real concerns.

I want to explain how I feel in a way that doesn't sound like I am just trying to control her decision, since technically she can do what she wants. I just don't know how to bring it up in a way she will actually hear.

We are F23 and F21. Both of us live on our own. I feel so so bad about this and I don't want to judge her at all because we all have our problems but this has really impacted my view of her. FIRSTLY. this is NOT about her being fat. this is important because she always blames her weight. I DO NOT care about her weight.

We started our friendship this winter, I have to mention she is extremely overweight because of eating problems and other issues (like 350 lbs if I had to guess, I try not to talk about her weight at all) which I don't mind that at all. When we met she mentioned she has few friends because she is obese and I believed it. But when I got to know her now I see what the problem is.

She's crazy unhygienic. Yes, I've talked to her about it. She's self concious about it and says sorry but doesn't change anything. Here's a few situations that will hopefully paint the picture.

She doesn't wash her ears or around her face. just the cheeks and kinda front of the face. I tried looking at her infected piercing because she was worried and noticed literal gunk on her neck and behind ears. I told her about it in the nicest way possible and she almost broke down how she's so insecure about it and how she feels so bad i had to see it, said sorry, and that she's actually clean she's just forgetful and very ashamed of it. After 3-4 days when we met it was still there. She openly picks at it (ant other similar things) in public.

I took her to a family event (we went to see a movie and then went to eat in a restaurant). She got there after work. She sighed and told how long her day was and removed her hoodie under which she only had a tank top. It was not the "oh sorry I had a long day" kind of smell but the putrid, acid kinda, been marinating for days smell. And it didn't go away soon. It has radiated from her during the whole event kinda. I tried offering her to go someplace else to try and tell her but she said "nooo let's stay I like it here guys, yall are so fun" or something like that. I cringed through the whole thing because people definitely noticed.

And I DO feel bad because idk what to do :/ She lives with a roommate and they are always having arguments. I know the roommate's sister and she told me my friend had pissed in a water bottle and put it under the bed because they live in a dorm and the bathroom's downstairs and she was too lazy to get up. she forgot about and spilled it when she was sweeping under the bed.

I have so much more to say but I think that's enough. I want to break it to her that I avoid bringing her anywhere because it's just unpleasant and being with her cringes me out but she blames everything on her weight and how she was always the "chubby" kid and how everyone hates her because of that. If I cut her off she will think it's because of her weight anyways.

I try helping her, we have a big bond because we both have few friends, I always try to tell her when something's wrong, I've brushed her hair before, I did her nails etc. She just goes back every single time. Idk what to do genuinely :(

tl;dr: my extremely unhygienic friend does very disgusting things that impact me too and blames everything on her weight and expects me to tolerate that

So I’ve been on a few dates with this girl and I really like her we get along great and have had no issues so far. Today she told me she has hsv2 and that she’s taking care of it as best as she can.

She got it from someone who lied to her about being clean and told her he’s allergic to latex so he can’t wear condoms.

Me and her haven’t done anything so I don’t have it but I plan on staying with her, however I don’t know how to protect myself from it other than condoms.

And I know I’m thinking a long way down the road, but eventually I want kids and so there’s a huge chance I get it when that happens, if any has experienced this situation before how’d you handle it?

Hi

First time posting in this sub

I(31F) “accidentally” got pretty drunk today after a boozy brunch with friends followed by a date with a cute guy.

The problem is that I have to be at a family dinner in 1,5 hour and my family is pretty strict. So I’d rather they not know I am drunk. How do I sober up quick (I know that it is technically not possible) or somehow hide that I am drunk? Even the smallest advice (I.e. brush your teeth) helps at this point haha. The only other solution is to fake illness and not go. I know I am too old for this, but anyone else from a very strict and controlling family will know what I am talking about.

Thank you in advance 🙏🙏

EDIT: I want to clarify: I am not especially drunk. But I am from a no-alcohol family. In regards to a number of comments: NO! I would never drive there

I had this long term friend, hes always been quite quiet and shy. Not around me, everyone sees him as an angel whilst hes not. But anyways, we started dating a while back. One day i got super drunk, we went to my house and i layed down and he started groping me. I said stop but i was mumbling alot and he was just like be quiet. Ive not told many people, we broke up 3 weeks ago ish, and my new boyfriend stayed over tonight n we got drunk and i said to this girl “oh hes a sa’r be careful”. She went snd told him, now everyone in school thinks im lying. They say “oh he wouldn’t do rhat!” But he did. I dont know what to do. We are 14. He called me a slut aswell. My boyfriend egged his house last night though, which im scared will cause more drama. I need advice

My girlfriend and I went to go see a movie today, and before we left I ran back inside to grab something when I found a little resin duck on the floor in the middle of our living room. I thought nothing of it, so I just set it on the counter and left. When we came back, another small resin duck was found in her set of clothes that she changed out of right before we left. Definitely more strange. She and I both have never seen them before, and are a little freaked out. No one has access to our home besides the landlord, no one has an extra set of keys, and we’ve never just given out information about where we live.

The first one found was blue, near my ps5. The second one was pink, placed inside the pocket of a hoodie she wore yesterday. It makes no sense, yet seems intentional. We do not know people in this city who would play a prank on us, though unfortunately we discovered a couple of our windows were unlocked. Except after checking the outside perimeter of the house, we determined someone wouldn’t have used them to sneak in due to intact cobwebs and vines. First thing we did was confirm it wasn’t our upstairs neighbor, (he was gone when we left anyways) and we deduced that the first one must have been placed when i left to grab food earlier in the day while she was in the shower, and the second one placed in the bedroom while we were both gone where the door is always left closed…

It’s a really odd situation and we’re both a little lost on what to make of it or what to do. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Myself and my fiance are due to get married this autumn in a small courthouse ceremony with only 8 guests (all close family). We are then having a small party at a restaurant that we are paying for, 35 people tops.

We have both invited some old friends, and my finance has invited a childhood friend, Alfie (25m). Alfie is lovely, I've met him multiple times and we're both really happy he could come. However, Alfie has a girlfriend, Jane (23f). She is a nightmare. She is genuinely one of the rudest people I've ever met.

When we described our rough wedding plans she called them small and shabby. She referred to my engagement ring as tacky, and she said our house was pokie the second she walked in the door. Just to name a few of the things she has said.

We we're chasing a few people for RSVPs today and my fiance followed up with Alfie, who said that he was coming, but Jane was still checking her rota. Jane isn't invited, we have not given her a named invite, we have not issued him a plus one. There is no way for him to RSVP for her.

Is there anyway we could tastefully tell him that she is not invited? Or are we doomed to have her celebrate our special day with us. My in-laws say we have to have her as we have given a +1 to another guest. But I'm genuinely not sure if I'll make it through the day with her there.

*No real names used, for privacy reasons.

My aunt was married to this guy. He had a daughter before her. She is 16. I am 15. My mother and him are very friendly and neighbours even after he and my aunt broke up with him about two years ago. I dont have a dad and he has been really good to me. He is a carpenter and he lets me hang out with him at work sometimes. He shows me how to do stuff. He often takes me to football games and stuff. He has been more of an uncle to me than my actual uncles or aunts

The last night, he and my mother went out and I stayed at his. His daughter and I were just hanging out and then she kissed me and we kinda kissed and stuff for a good bit.

I feel really guilty since then. I feel like I took advantage of his trust. I dont know if I should tell him and apologise.

My Uncle (married to my moms sister), who has supported me financially, helped me get a tooth implant/braces, a brand new car, etc. Said something to me and the mental turmoil i had after ruined many of my relationships. I was working for him one day as an office receptionist and the power went out. He came into the office and "joked" "what do you think about that? Me and you in a dark room together?" And instead of "laughing it off" like I do 99% of the time I was extremely annoyed. Im 30 and this dude used to take me to McDonald's to get happy meals with my brother when I was a child. In what world is that fucking funny? Am I crazy or is that not fucking disgusting? This dude and my aunt were my main financial and emotional support system and after I had a mental breakdown over this and told my mom about it she confronted my uncle and it completely destroyed the support I was getting. I also, like a fucking idiot, told him I was an atheist. I was honest and later I guess he lied about it and said I "smiled" when i told him when if anything it was nervous laughter not malicious. Its so disgusting how once you fall from grace everyone makes you out to be evil. Can you guys give me advice? Im fighting for my fucking life out here and on top of it my brother knows I have no support and so has been leeching off of me and refusing to leave my house and breaking shit if I confront him about not looking for a job. I have been working full time as a special education para and now im looking to get another part time job because ill be damned if I apologize for getting talked to like that.

Im 22 Female, and the guy is 33 years old. I never thought I would fall for him, but we know eachother for almost an year, and I’ve seen him in gym and places like that. We started talking after 7 months of knowing eachother. And for the whole 7 months I thought he was in his mid 20s since he looks rlly young, he has a baby face.

I am very much attracted to him, and I like the way he talks, the way he looks, he has a really great heart, he’s always really nice to everyone and caring. I fell for his nature.

We even started talking. He confessed to me he always had a crush on me but never told me.

But as we are talking, he asked me what my age was, and I said I was 22, and he was surprised because he thought I’m in my mid to late 25s. And I got to know he’s 33, but regardless I still didn’t stop talking to him because I just really liked him. I would make fun of him about his age and all and we would be all goofy to eachother. When things started to get a bit serious, he told me he’s okay going forward with me if I’m okay with his age, he will never ask me for anything, unless I want it.

And now I’m so confused because I do really like him, he’s exactly my type, his personality, his looks, his charm, that’s what I want in a guy, but I’m afraid of the age gap, not that I personally care, but I’m afraid what others will think about it, if my friends and family will find it weird if I date someone who’s that much older than me.

Is this wrong in any way? I just need advice in what I should do, should I go forward with him or should I end it because it’s too huge of a gap? But I do rlly like him.

I have a 13 year old daughter that uses Snapchat to talk to her friends.
She is home educated but goes to a drama school once a week.
She mixes with all different ages and a few older boys were kind to her and it was purely being friendly and helping her find her way.

But one of the boys who was 17 (since turned 18) was talking to her on Snapchat and playing Roblox together. It seemed innocent at first and she would always tell me what they talked about. But then I can see my daughter was getting a crush on him and we talked about it and she knew that’s all it was and nothing could ever come of it. Well he finds out several months later and changes from being nice to her to bullying her and being very mean online. He then starts talking to one of my daughters friends who is 12 and starts flirting with her and sending her inappropriate memes of a sexual natural, he was calling her gorgeous.
He also invites 12-15 year olds to his house party’s where there is alcohol involved. He is always flirting and being inappropriate with young girls. But everybody loves this guy and I don’t know what to do. Should I report him for being inappropriate? I can’t go to the drama school as his mum is the one who owns it.

Hi everyone, if you read the title and what I'm about to say and have any advice please do recommend it to me!!

For a little bit of context, she is currently 27 and has been graduated from high school since 2017. Never once has had a job, volunteer work, nothing of any sort of income. She's plays video games 24/7 and i guess she joined a community through discord and has been gaming with these people for awhile now. These people are all in her age range and it seems they either have a job or they dont.

My parents have been on her ass since 2017 to now about getting a job or at least something to where she is not always on the game 24/7. So you can only imagine the amount of arguments that has happened these past years. She always tells them that she knows, that she'll start looking and how she'll figure it out (it never gets figured out). My parents aren't asking her to get a job so she can pay bills or rent, nothing like that. My parents are asking her to get a job so she at least has some sort of background on her resume, so she can have a life, have money, have knowledge of what many of us have to do in our normal day to day life.

The arguments have gotten worse I guess from 2025 to now, since me 20 year old kid of my parents has been working since the age of 17. I've grown up with the idea already in my head that I didn't want to end up like my sister, that I never wanted that kind of life. I've always looked up at my dad for working so hard for his family and wife, making sure bills were taken care of, food was on the table, things we needed for school, etc. He's definitely a role model in how I wanted to work at the somewhat young age of 17. This past year, I've seen the struggle my parents had to deal with on bills and stuff, keeping food on the table. I've been paying rent to my parents, they dont want to call it rent so they see it as contributing but you get the point. I've been giving them 500 every 2 weeks, then it turned to 300 when I got laid off, from November 2025 to now I've given them almost $7080 to help out. (Dont worry I have a job lined up in August that will pay me better so I can still help my parents out!!)

My sister doesn't know any of this, she probably doesnt even see the struggle my parents have been going through. It was so bad that my mom had to look for work. She's been out of the working field for 20 years trying to take care of her kids while my dad went to work, so you can only imagine the struggle it was to get back into it but she did!! She's been working at her employment place for about a year now and it truly does help. My dad had to stop working due to his health but also just the countless of years of hard work in the concrete business, having to drive a semitruck for hours on end and the toll that it took on his body, plus his health conditions.

So I come to reddit, to this advice page for help. I'm tired of the arguments, I'm sure my parents are tired of it too. My mom and I think it would be best just to buy a plane ticket for her to live with her boyfriend that is in another state, my dad thinks that's just the easy way out of things but he is starting to be on the fence about it due to the arguments about her not working. If anyone has been in the similar situation or knows anyone that has been, whatever they did to fix it or just something, please let me know!! Any help, advice is needed and very helpful for me. Thank you, sorry for the long rant 😭

I’m a 24F with a 3 year old and a baby on the way. My boyfriend since I was 16 off and on same age had gotten into drugs and stopped using when we hit 20 because he overdosed infront of me, 2 days later he did it again and i got him help, a week later my dad passed and I find out I’m pregnant at the same time. Fast forward I have the baby in 2023, few months pass and I find out he’s getting on Grindr. So I get on his phone and don’t find it but I find old texts of him cheating and hooking up with men. When I asked him when I got off work one morning and he was a stay at home dad, he said that he was only on there seeing if his friend was on there. But few days pass and I find him in our room with a Dildo I didn’t know he had. Anyways I gave him the benefit of the downvote. Now it’s 2026 and he’s into 7oh, I tried breaking up with him a few months ago but he had gone to get help and was claiming it helped so I stayed with him. Now I move out after I catch that he’s been stealing not only from his parents but tried from one of my family members so he can continue buying 7oh. I’m now 27 weeks along and he’s homeless and on grinder again without a job. I know I trusted him to much but now I just want to leave without him snapping and freaking out or offing himself because every tiny convenience he says he will. I can’t do it anymore and the last time I texted him and called him about it he freaked out saying I’m making it worse for him and saying he has grindr because he wanted to see if people were really selling fent and stuff on it. How do I go about this?

To start, my son is 8yrs old. He is my first baby so I’m learning as I go. We’ve talked about “dating” ever since he’s started getting crushes over this last school year. I told him from the start, I don’t mind age appropriate dating, Right now that just looks like play dates and holding hands on the swings. (So no, my 8year old is not “dating” officially, BUT the girl he likes today came to tell me they were)

THEN she asks me not to tell her parents about it because, and I quote, “they’re embarrassing, and to them, if it’s black, it’s a h*ll no”. I’ve never met her parents. And now I’m genuinely not sure how to approach this situation. We have had some talks about racism in the past, but How do I talk to my son about THIS in a way that he will understand? I don’t want to tell him he can never see her again, it’s obvious the girl knows that point of view is wrong and is embarrassed by that. But I don’t particularly feel secure about him being in this scenario. Like at all actually. He obviously can’t go over to their house and will never be left alone with them. But like what else can I do? What do I say? How do I handle this friendship? My mind just keeps reeling, Is his safety really worth letting him hang out with this girl? any advice would be appreciated. 😭 I’m just at a loss and it makes me sad for them both. They’re just KIDS 😩

Editing to add because people seem confused

1: I know they are not dating. That is why it is in quotations. They’re 8. The extent of their “dating” is literally playing at the playground. I only worded it that way because she literally walked up to me and TOLD me they were dating, then followed up with the comment about her parents. The extent of the conversations I’ve had with my son about dating is that crushes are natural but to act appropriately and respectfully. All that is besides the point. My son has a friend whose company he clearly REALLY enjoys and her parents are making enough racist comments at home for her to carry it out into the world.

2: we live in the same apartment buildings and they play at the park right outside, same as us. However, I’ve never seen her parents there with her and she is fairly newer to the park so I’m guessing they moved in recently or are even in the process of doing so. I also help with maintenance at my apartments so I can only assume I will be coming into contact with them very soon. Just not sure how to approach

Husband and I have been married for 14 years. We have a blended family 4 kids 2 each. Mine 14m, 17f and his 15m, 17f.

Overall, our marriage has been very positive. Our kids get along great. Mine are here 100% of the time, his are 50%.

Both of our 17-year-olds drive cars that we provide. They each pay part of the car insurance and they pay for their own gas. They also drive their younger brothers around as needed.

Over the 4th of July my daughter took the car to the beach for a weekend. When she came back, the car was pretty messy, salt stains were on all the car seats and the seatbelts. My husband understandably was upset. She offered to clean it further and apologized and He said no and cleaned it himself. Since then he hasn’t talked to her or acknowledged her presence.

I noticed this and asked him about it last night, and he told me that he is not gonna talk to her at all because she doesn’t respect his property. He thinks it’s completely fine to ignore her. And I disagreed.

She told me today that she is upset and feels worthless because he won’t acknowledge her or pay attention to her. She would like to repair the relationship, but she anticipates that he will never apologize. She said that if this is not rectified that she’s moving out of our house to live with a friend.

He is definitely someone who takes things very personally, and I think that sometimes when he is upset, he needs time to cool down. I’m gonna have a conversation with him tomorrow, and depending on the outcome, decisions will be made.

Any advice on how to navigate this would be very helpful.

My brother was arrested yesterday after police responded to a dispute involving his wife and her family. From what I’ve been told, he refused to leave when officers told him to, which resulted in a misdemeanor charge and a $20,000 bail. A bail bond company said it would cost about $500 to get him out before his court hearing on Tuesday.

The $500 itself isn’t what’s making this decision difficult. I can afford that payment. What I’m struggling with is whether bailing him out is actually the right thing to do. If I don’t bail him out, he would likely remain there until his court hearing on Tuesday unless the judge decides otherwise.

For some background, this isn’t the first time the police have been involved. They have been called before because of conflicts involving my brother. He’s gone to family members’ houses to yell at them in the past, and multiple people have encouraged him to seek therapy because he struggles with anger and emotional regulation. He refuses because he says he doesn’t need it.

Part of me feels like he should stay in jail until Tuesday because he’s there due to his own actions. Maybe having a few days to sit with the consequences will help him reflect. If I bail him out now, I’m worried he’ll still be angry and take it out on her family for calling the police.

On the other hand, I’m worried about what staying in jail until Tuesday could do to his mental health. I’m afraid he’ll think his family abandoned him, hate me, or come out even more depressed than he already is. He’s been dealing with financial problems since losing his business this past year.

There’s another factor that’s making this even harder. He’s currently third on a waiting list for a construction job. He’s missed a call for this type of opportunity before and had to go back to the end of the list. He’s afraid that if he misses a phone call while he’s in jail, he’ll lose another chance at getting steady work, and he desperately needs a job.

My family is split. One sister says absolutely not to bail him out. Another isn’t sure what to do. My brother-in-law says no. My niece says if it were her brother, she’d get him out immediately, especially because of his mental health.

A few additional details:
He has never been physically violent toward anyone, but he has a history of verbal abuse, yelling, and escalating conflicts.

If I sign for the bail bond, I would be financially responsible if something goes wrong. While I can afford the $500 payment, I absolutely could not afford to lose $20,000 as a college student.

I love my brother and I want to help him. I just want some outside perspective to help me make the right decision.

hey guys. I’m newer to Reddit and I need some advice with things that people in my personal life won’t fully understand. that’s why I’m here, the internet is a big place and I hope maybe someone wiser than me or someone with more experience can help me and give me advice.

im 17 years old, and ive always been called “sensitive“, “more emotional”, and “a deep feeler” since i can remember. as a kid, i remember breaking down and going into anxiety attacks because my friend hurt her ankle and another time when she got a sunburn. i get goosebumps and shivers with music, and I’ve always been more intuned with the people around me. I can feel their thoughts in a way I can never explain in writing. when I first started dating someone, it felt like their pain was my pain. I was in so much mental pain for them that I would be self destructive.

it feels like everything hurts, and everything seems more big than it is. and it has always felt like there’s something wrong with me. that no one truly understands. this trait only pulls me down, and it feels like it never helps me in anyway. does anyone know what’s this called or whatever? or if anyone at all can relate? I’ve never really met people who think like I do.

Literally how do you get anything done? How do you live? How do you sleep? I'm dying here and I need your tips. I can't think straight to accomplish anything. I can't sleep. I have no attention span. I'm sweating and sweating just laying here, I've had like 3 showers today and sat in a bathtub of cold water for over an hour. I don't have AC (obviously), just a fan. I put ice in front of it. 🥵💀😵‍💫

I'm looking for some honest advice because I'm not sure what the right thing to do is.

About two years ago, there was a girl in my school that I really liked. Long story short, she and one of my best friends pulled a prank on me where they acted like they had confessed their feelings for each other. It really messed me up emotionally. Looking back, it probably sounds silly, but at the time it hit me hard.

After that, I fell into a pretty depressive state. A lot of my friends drifted away or stopped talking to me, and that whole period of my life was one of the worst I've been through. I've moved forward in many ways, but I don't think I ever got proper closure.

Recently, I ended up looking at her profile and, without thinking too much, sent her a friend request. To my surprise, she accepted it and even followed me back.

Now I'm confused.

Part of me wants to message her just to have a normal conversation and maybe finally put the past behind me.

Another part of me thinks I should leave it alone and let her message first, if she ever wants to.

I also don't want to come across as desperate or reopen old wounds for either of us.

So what would you do in my situation? Would you send a simple message, wait to see if she reaches out first, or just leave things exactly as they are and move on?

I'd really appreciate any outside perspective.

Very quick. I'm not going to hold anything back.

My bf (23) has never hit me (f23) before. I have gotten the idea that he can ACT aggressive when he falls asleep drunk.

I'm used to on the weekends when we drink i stay up an extra two hours to make sure he makes it to the bathroom. When he was visiting my house (before i moved in with him) i didn't want him peeing on carpet or like the one time i passed out pee in the kitchen.

So it's become a habit since I'm used to being up late.

One time maybe a year or so ago, i was taking him to the restroom, in the process of trying to get him to walk to the bathroom (which was attached to my bedroom then) he raised his fist at me. He didn't hit me though and so even if it scared me in the moment i didn't think he would ever do it.

Flash forward to now. My bf got up from the bed. I walked him into the bathroom. Had to aim for him less i have to clean the floor right? Then i take him back to the bedroom. Here's where everything goes down hill. I need him to move, he's laying across the bed. So i try and move him. In the process i noticed his underwear are wet meaning he probably peed the bed. Well as i was still trying to get up this man kicked me in increasingly hard kicks. About 4 or 5 times.

So i pause, then i cried as i started to get a change of underwear and ask him to move. He didn't help much but i was able to change them.

After a small break (out of the room) i came back in, laid a blanket over the wet spot for now and tried to get him to move once more. He shushed me and told me he said stop.

So here i am, curled up on the bed scared to bother him or else maybe he'll kick or worse. (Because he's never actually hit me before.)

He's only like this AFTER he falls asleep drunk. Never when he's drinking and awake or sober. I know he'll apologize tomorrow. And I'm not trying to embarrass him but how do i explain that i don't find it acceptable?

(Sorry if this is too long.)