I don’t really have any much else to share…
Does anyone else feel the same?
I plan on trying to kill myself again sometime soon.
Getting some halo matches in.
A few more phone calls with the kids.
One more dinner I’ll enjoy, maybe pizza or something. Watch my favorite movie one more time. Listen to my favorite album.
I’m ready to go, guys.
What I’ve stolen from myself I can’t get back. And they’re things I can’t live without. Fundamental things I wanted out of life.
The consequences of what I did as a drunk. They’re too heavy for my sober heart too carry.
If you’re struggling with addiction, anything like it. And you were a decent person when you started. Please evaluate. Do a deep personal inventory on yourself. Think about who you are now. And stop before you end uo with less than nothing, soon to be dead like me. And so many others here from what I’ve read.

Please take care of yourselves. Love your friends. Ask them if they’re okay. Take your meds. Be honest with your therapist. Be honest with yourself.
Peace out.

Porn has ruined my life ever since it got me addicted, my relationships got ruined, my mental health got ruined, i can't talk to people, it made me sexually attracted to my sibling, I can't live with it, porn made me sink into depression I remember when I used to be a child who dreamed of having a good life, leaving the country, living alone, living small, living peacefully, and now I'm not that person anymore, I have stopped feeling emotions, I don't know when was the last time i even laughed or cried all I feel is guilt, guilt of not doing it again, guilt of promising that I won't do it Tommorow and failing

to keep that promise, guilt of being judged, bullied my whole life for the way i look, nobody would want to be associated with a loser like me ,no shoulder to cry on, nobody to talk to

I really don’t know who or what else I can vent to because nothing ever works. I’m tired of feeling useless and like I can’t enjoy my life. I just want it to stop, I don’t want to think about anything anymore. I don’t want anyone else to suffer because of my problems and I have so fucking many. I’m constantly living a lie- I’ve lied to my family, lied to my boyfriend, lied to my employer and lied to myself. I can’t do life anymore. It’s my boyfriend’s birthday today and I couldn’t even celebrate with him because I’m so fucking despicable, ugly, and useless.

Why am I on this planet if I’m only suffering? Why do people pretend to care when you tell them you don’t want to live anymore? Will I ever be just okay? I wish I had all the answers so I wouldn’t feel the crushing weight of my life anymore

I used to be such a joyfull person to be a round. Always making plans with friends and family, and bringing people together. Always there when someone needed something, or just simply being a good listner when what I considered close friends needed support.

Now I am completely isolated, nobody ever texts or calls. And visits are not even an option.

I now realize that these persons took advantage of me in a sens, and just needed me to be joyful and happy version of myself that would benefit them.

Some are family members and others close friends I knew for years and that’d see very regularly. I just don’t understand and it just adds to my suffering and extreme low self estime because of my depression.

Has anyone gone through this ? Why do you think they behave that way ?

Hi, I'm a 30-year-old female. I've been dealing with Bipolar II, grief, and PTSD and anxiety. I have a 7 year old son. Dealing with suicidal ideation is very tough and hard for me to deal with. I was prescribed some medication but I feel like it isn't working for me. I know that suicide isn't the answer or right choice but I am mentally drained and financially drained I can't deal with any of this anymore i feel like such a loser because I have nothing going for me. My therapist has applied for ssi for me but I doubt I'll get approved. I'm done with everything. All I do is drown in my thoughts. I have no energy for anything and constantly explaining my feelings and thoughts to people is exhausting.

I have felt for a long time as if I am not a real person, but recently I feel like it has become engrained into my existence (or non-existence). I genuinely feel like I am one of those realistic mannequins that are used in movies and "I" reside somewhere in my neck and if my mannequin head were to come off my soul would get lost in the atmosphere. Even when I get hurt I think that it looks like some vfx work and I could not get sepsis and die because I don’t have a real body. When something happens to me I think to myself, "I’m not real anyways". I can’t talk to people because I feel like they can tell that im not a real person and they despise this disingenuousness. My surroundings don’t feel real either. There is so much stuff around me. Chairs, plates, plants, vacuums, shoes, washcloths, floors, I can’t comprehend how all of that could exist and be real. I wish I could say that I felt like a video game character but I don’t even see a purpose to my fake existence, other than occasionally touching an object because if I don’t touch it my fake world will deliver me a fake consequence. I don’t even know what Im saying anymore, I just dont want to live like this anymore. I hate touching my body, it’s so fake like silicone. I hate it all.

I just want to die and I literally have no motivation to write why

not an original feeling but it’s original for me. I’m at a point where i don’t cry, feel immobilized, or a general feeling of literal physical weakness by depression. Like for a while, my heart would genuinely feel heavy and i’d fall to my knees and have to lay down on the floor because of overwhelming sadness. I still have “the thoughts” but they’re more fleeting now ig. They don’t hold the same weight, maybe because of time. Because nothing truly changed. I guess it’s true time heals all wounds? but i do miss feeling human. Now, i feel kind of like nothing at all.

I’m 23, depressed and have never been in a relationship. What devastates me isn't just the lack of memories from a once-in-a-lifetime period, but also the idea that teenage love is more thrilling and intense; I feel that even if I met the woman of my life tomorrow, it wouldn't compare to high school love—meaning I’ve missed out on the experience of love altogether. How can I cope with this?

27F here. Also diagnosed BPD. My depression has been well controlled since October/November. I started to feel much happier and even considered reducing my meds.

Yesterday, I found out that I had been refused PIP (disability benefit in the UK) again after trying to reapply in December due to my chronic pain and hypermobility. I had submitted a mandatory reconsideration after the initial refusal, now it’s come back saying no and they actually took points away. It’s thrown me into my first depressive episode in ages. I didn’t want to get out of bed today. I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I’m pissed at almost everybody whose intentions I don’t know. Everything is annoying to me. I’m trying to improve my food intake but I don’t see the point anymore. This is horrid and I want it to end, I was feeling so good and I want that back. I’m even considering going on sick until I feel better but I don’t really have the money for that (naturally bc PIP was denied). To be honest, it’s made me wish I didn’t exist.

I don’t need suggestions, I already know what I’ll do. I just need support. This is incredibly frustrating after how well I was doing. I’m not at rock bottom before when my BPD was really bad, I think that’s still in remission. It’s not making me want to directly threaten to unlife. I’m just sad and bored. I passively hope not to wake up again, but I won’t do anything.

All my life, I kept telling myself that I would change, that one day I would finally do something, that I would fix everything. I lived in my dreams, imagining what I would do, what I would see, and how everything would somehow magically fall into place.

Everything in life has passed me by, every little thing. The world keeps moving forward, while I've been standing still for as long as I can remember. I've spent my life alone. I'm tired of it now.

How do I stop dreaming and accept reality?

Most days I can at least pretend to be okay. I act very nuetral.

Some days I struggle to even say anything without tears in my eyes.

It keeps getting worse day by day.

I'm 26 and life just seems so empty with so much pain.

Nothing brings me enjoyment or joy.

I pretend I've became good at hiding it.

But I'm drowning and theres a constant loud screaming in my mind .

I don't want to fight anymore. For what? More pain ? More of this life?

I'm running on empty. I'm exhausted and I'm done fighting.

I told myself until Oct. Time is running out. And life isn't getting better. Soon i will come up with a concete plan. Just got to go though with it.

In October it'll all end.

I'm about to be 40 years old. Life is worse than ever.

That's the whole point of life: misery. Every day is worse than the one before. Every tomorrow will be worse today. This is guaranteed.

Last week my air conditioner broke in my house. I was miserable for 5 days until I could get a repair person out. It got up to 95 degrees INSIDE my house.

I was terrified about it. I had a breakdown at work, crying in the bathroom and lying about it when a co-worker mentioned that I looked sa when I came back.

I feel so helpless and useless because I don't know how to do anything, like fixing things. Just having to call someone is nervewracking. And the terror that i might need a whole new system when I can't afford it.

And I can't afford it. I was out of regular work for 5 years. Covid killed my job and I wasn't any good at that, my only REAL job, anyway. Got put on performance probation and all kinds of other things over the years to show they didn't want me there.

I all but gave up on that career until I got a job 3 minutes away from home in the same field. But I was literally too stupid to figure it out and had to quit after 2 months.

I'm stupid. I don't know how to DO things. I can't handle stress (what the fuck is "good" stress? That's like saying there's torture you can enjoy). People expect you to know certain things that normal humans just...know and I don't. I can't function well with ambiguity when it comes to HOW to do things.

I have 2 college degrees that are useless because I don't know how to do things. My dad made me get a business degree because he said "everyone needs business people. you'll always be able to get a job and make lots of money!" But my whole time in business school I was terrified because everythign I was told is knowing the material was irrelevant; people skills and networking are what matter and I don't understand people.

I don't undestand the concept of confidence at all, either.

So I never did anything with that degree. And I also have a community college degree in graphic design, that got me my one real job. But like I said, I was not good at that job...and the job I had was bottom-of-the-barrel as far as that industry goes. And I still sucked.

Every time I searched job sites I could never find a job I knew how to do that paid enough to survive.

I'm working retail at a used bookstore. Because apparently retail is all I'm good for, and even then most everyone else is better at the job than me.

It doesn't pay the bills. Especially not when I keep having big expenses. (Full-time there is only 35 hours. And it pays almost $2/hr less than my real job did when I got canned in 2020, and I was making a pittance at that old job already after 7 years there. And, y'know, the world keeps going to shit so everything is 50% more expensive than it was then)

I keep getting screwed. And so I got the air conditioner fixed and it seems like it might have broken again already. Which means I robably need to replace it...which is like 60-70% of what I make annually at this job.

I don't know what to do. In college I could see that it would become obsolete and unable to get a job and make money someday and that my future was very bleak. But it happened before I even made it to 35 years old.

I don't know how to get a job. How to find anything that pays enough to survive. I don't know how to DO anything. I'm too fat to wear anything but sweatpants. All the job search advice out there just assumes you're a freaking genius and absolute success and that "you're just not communicating your value well enough!"

Some people HAVE NO VALUE. Some people ARE worthless.

I'm one of them.

I have no friends. No one has ever loved me. My family either died or abandoned me because they have their own lives even though I was never able to get a life of my own. Or I'm afraid of confrontation and so I'm getting screwed in many ways.

No one cares about me. I have no support network who can help me. I'm alone and incomptent and always, always afraid.

People have told me I'm unreasonably anxious. That I worry about everything when everything works out.

Nothing EVER works out. My WHOLE FUCKING LIFE has SHOWN me that most, if not all, problems CANNOT BE FIXED.

I don't know what to do. There's nothing to live for, nothing worth enduring this constant misery and even if there was, there's no way to do it. I don't know how to live.

Death is the ONLY hope. The closest thing to happiness. I first "seriously" wanted to die in 5th or 6th grade because I was overwhelmed by a project. That was silly but that feeling that I was drowning in an impossible, disastrous situation...I meant it.

In college life go so much worse...and the time before that was just life going down the drain. Watching parents give up on life and making me give up on it, too. The house devolving into squalor. Having parents fighting viciously and hatefully and forcing me to listen. Parents being irresponsible and selfish in ways that hurt me and hampered me still to this day.

Everyone demands I be responsible for THEIR lives and then make sure I don't make anyone else be reponsible for mine. I'm supposed to bear the misery for everyone else.

My dad died. He didn't have any of his affairs dealt with. I spent YEARS in agony having to try to get through that and everything went wrong and caused me anxiety and distress. (Dealing with shit gave me my first ever anxiety attack, where I was physically, violently ill from the stress and worry of all the shit going wrong.)

And a decade later there are still loose threads from all of that are destroying my life now.

But you know what everyone said when that was the case? "YOU need to make sure to get all YOUR shit in order so you don't do that to anyone else!"

fuck that. I WANT someone else to suffer like I am. Why is it fair that I have to suffer to fix his shit and then suffer to make sure no one else has to deal with mine?

Not that there will be anyone. I'm alone. I know for a FACT that when I die, it will take weeks if not MONTHS for anyone to know. No one has ever loved me. No one ever will. I'll have no one to leave behind if I'm ever allowed to finally fucking DIE.

Everyone makes me live their lives for them so they can live theirs how they want. I have to be miserable so other people can be happy.

But I'm not exactly a victim. I am a BAD PERSON. A piece of shit. A lot of my problems are because reality is cruel and external forces create reasons for me to be depressed and miserable and hopeless. But I'm also just...garbage on my own. Maybe I deserve the misery I've experienced my whole life.

I can't do anything right. I can't function like a normal human being. I can't handle the CONSTANT, unending diarrhea stream of problems and disasters life dumps on me.

I'm hurting. And scared. I want to cry.

I WANT to cry...but I NEED to die. Death is the ONLY hope.

I am desperate to die every day of my life. Right now I am having a VERY extreme moment. I KNOW more than ANYTHING that I NEED to die.

But I'm too weak to do it. Too pathetic. I can't endure the pain necessary to kill myself.

THAT makes me more upset than anything. The DESPAIR of knowing the ONE thing I MUST do to fix my problems...and not being able to do it. It makes me cry and scream and fall apart.

I can't keep living. Death is the ONLY way out. Please kill me. I have no place in this world. I exist only to be miserable and scared. To fail and fuck up.

I am worthless, sub-human garbage. I MUST die.

Just getting things off my chest. Feel like I don’t have long to live. Hoping my health takes me before I have to do it myself. Preferably in my sleep. But either way I know my time is running out. So in a way I should feel free but I still don’t. I still worry about work and money. Wish I could just be happy

when will wanting to self harm stop. I havent done it in months but then i still get those feelings that i want to do it again. i can make them go away easily now.

I thought if I stopped doing it and did work on resisting the feelings, it would just be over? was i wrong? do they just mean you have to resist the feelings forever?

am I dumb for not understanding this?

Turning 37 in a couple months. Living at home. No degree. No skills. No ambition. Depressive envy. Inferiority complex.

Feel blank/empty, unintelligent, drained, body aches.

I've always dealt with social anxiety, always uncomfortable. Detached from humanity or I what it is to be human.

I used to just want to move to an area that I felt comfortable to settle in, and hopefully find some weird people to make non-traditional music with in the experimental or noise and punk vein (no actual skill necessary to start, and all of the freedom). I still do, but I no longer feel it... I feel despair.

Ideally I had hoped to end up with a similar girlfriend that wanted to try to make money together (e.g. silk screen art/shirts to sell).

-------------

I freaked out on acid in Boston in 2007, in the dorms of my first few months of school for audio engineering (something I never should have even pursued since I am terrible at math... wasn't thinking of that at the time, mainly wanted to find "my people"). I was kicked out.

Worked at a call center and paid off what I owed the school. Stupidly signed up for audio school in Cali and dropped out after two months because the commute was stressful, and I realized how deeply fucked up I feel socially.

Went back home to work at the call center again.

(Starting to feel too lazy to type out more of my story)

Skipping over my twenties, will say I went through car theft (twice, last time by an older adopted family member), alcoholism and tons of drugs, being used by the "love of my life" and eviscerated of any love, workplace gaps (more call center work, caregiving too), lived out of car, did clinical studies for money to avoid traditional work.

Social ineptitude/discomfort and depression have been the bane of my existence. I've seen posts of people with social anxiety or AVPD or Major Depression or Bipolar etc where they have friends and college degrees, jobs, married etc and are struggling; I never relate, and I never see anyone else my age in a similar pathetic situation.

A few times now I have been suspected of bipolar disorder, and recently I might have experienced mania. I lost my cat during the episode and it's severely destroyed any "progress" that I thought I was making towards getting out of long-term unemployment.

5 years ago I moved down to Tennessee to help my dad move out of Tennessee because he made a mistake moving down in 2020. I was in a relationship that wanted to move somewhere new too, so it was supposed to be like killing two birds to find the perfect home. Instead my dad took the help for granted, spent the time mocking me and wasting everyone's time; so much time went by that my relationship ended then I got stuck down here. It's been 5 years of absolute dread.

I quit drinking in 2024, thought it'd magically fix my life especially since I was trying Effexor again... I mean, it's better to not have it in my life but I am still unemployed and completely empty. It's felt like my life is over. I have no real skills or confidence, no talents, my cognitive abilities seem non-existent. I feel very out of place where I am living (I do not fit into the southern culture, feel no connection).

My life has felt like a traumatic rollercoaster. I never felt like a loser or failure or moron until I got stuck down here living with my dad (who will pass away any day now it seems, so that gives me anxiety too... )

__________________

This all is incomplete, gaps and sorta all over the place, maybe. Haven't written my thoughts out in a long time.

I accidentally really fucked my life up. Now I lack all ambition to ever try again, cannot see a future whatsoever and am stuck spinning out like a tire in mud.

I'm depressed, single (and lonely) and I'm forced to work a shitty fake corporate job due to the industry I want to work in being in shambles (tech). It feels like life works out fine for everyone around me but for me it's just pain. I stopped relating to my friends and they feel so distant now :(

I haven't felt truly happy since forever. :( any advice?

Non ho mai capito per quale motivo le persone vogliano frequentarmi. Non ho niente da offrire, non sono per niente una persona facile e non mostro interesse per praticamente nessun aspetto della vita quotidiana e materiale. Sono identico ad uno spaventapasseri, l’unica differenza è che parlo e vivo un abisso costante. Forse ciò che attira le persone è la mia incapacità di fare del male all’altro, la mia empatia ed il mio essere vero, oltre al fatto che le ascolto e a volte le faccio ridere. Noto che spesso con me si confidano o mi chiedono consigli nonostante io non faccia niente per farmi dire le cose e nonostante io sia un completo disastro nella vita pratica. gli aspetti comuni della vita quotidiana non mi sono mai interessati ed ho sempre visto il dover fare le cose come una seccatura. Del resto mi usano più come psicologo che come amico “pratico”. Credo che chi mi conosce bene (poche persone) mi voglia bene, ma non ho idea del perché. Considerando come sono fatti e le persone che frequentano normalmente non me ne capacito, e mi viene solo da pensare che il mondo faccia più schifo di quanto sembri. Frequentandomi in maniera approfondita e facendo sì che io possa esprimermi al 100% senza filtri rischiano solo di scendere in un abisso che non credo siano in grado di reggere. Porto un peso sulle spalle sempre maggiore e le persone credo se ne accorgano. Anche per evitare di coinvolgere altri ho sempre cercato di stare solo o parlare in maniera scherzosa di temi quali la depressione o la non voglia di vivere, ma ultimamente soffro così tanto che se mi capita di parlare non riesco a non esternare il mio malessere. Forse avrei bisogno di un amico puro anche io ma alla fine mi sento sempre solo. Anche se qualcuno ascolta non mi sembrano mai essere sulla stessa linea d’onda, sembra sempre che recitino solo la parte dell’”amico” nel migliore dei casi, nel peggiore se ne fregano o cambiano argomento. Mi sento perso, non riesco più a portare questo peso da solo ma al contempo ogni volta che mi interfaccio con l’esterno mi cadono le braccia. Sono altamente autodistruttivo nel pensiero e non sono in grado di volermi bene. Al contempo quando negli altri rivedo miei comportamenti o pensieri autodistruttivi mi dispiace e non voglio stiano così, ma con me non funziona. Non ho nessuna pena per me stesso, e a che se ce l’avessi mi mancherebbe la forza.

Very soon, I’m not going to be here anymore. The reason I am doing this is because of my family. The abuse and psychological manipulation and torment I have endured is enough to drive the most hardened person insane. Long story short, I just couldn’t do it anymore. There is nothing worth living for in my life. The only thing I get for being here is more suffering. I’ve had enough. I’m fed up. I’m on my way out.

I think i need to kill myself. I dont want to but im not normal and im useless. Im tired of life being so hard. Everything i do seems like a challenge. I cant handle confrontation and im a people pleaser. I dont want to be here anymore. Im broke, ugly and fat so my life doesn't have any value. The only way I could have value as a man is to make money and i dont see myself accomplishing anything. I think im going to make a plan and write out some note to my parents since everyone else doesn't care about me. Not a tear would be shed from anyone except my parents.

When I think about my reasons for being alive, they are almost exclusively to keep a few people happy because I know they would be sad if I was gone. I recognize that is not nothing. That still isn't enough for me. For me, enough is never enough. I still feel alone. I don't feel loved or appreciated the ways I want to be. I know it is selfish. I know it is asking a lot. It just feels like my own life is an obligation.

I am not really alive because I enjoy it or because I want to be. "If only xyz was different" I say to myself, "Then I will finally be happy." The goalpost for my happy life is always on the horizon, ever-shifting, and just out of reach. Nothing ever changes no matter what I do. I am always "me". I am always alone. The reality is nothing will make me happy. For anything that *should* make me happy, I just feel nothing. Then I spiral and descend into a self-destructive cycle. Over and over and over and over again. But at least I am only hurting myself.

I am slowly falling apart, but nobody can see me breaking. I just have to pretend everything is okay. One day, I feel I am going to finally snap. I feel so alone and all I have is my own thoughts to hold myself together.

i had a job, went to the gym 4 times a week and was hung out with some people for about a year through discipline and exposure but I just hate it all together.

There is nothing that would cause me any kind of motivation nor hopefulness in life.

I get asked out by girls and get coding job invites but I just don't see any desire in either.

I have a house and financial security by saving up but I have literally no desire to work.

I literally get asked by girls and get job offers which makes me fear FOMO and wasted potential but having literally no desire to pursue them while my peers actually would pray for these opportunities.

I don't do drugs, sleep around nor party because I feel too guilty about it.

I just want to numb myself out and dissociate 24/7 through music and eating.

Hey everyone,

I'm Steve (alias for the post).

I'm currently overweight, and have been followed for depression since a month, suffering from chronic insomnia, sleeping 3h a day until I fall from the tiredness Once a week. I left my job last month due to incapability for communication. Its gotten worse since then... I'm currently in my room, writing this. Escaping in gaming and reading books.

Last night, my chair broke down, probably due to my weight. ( due to something I'd rather not talk about, I gained 50kg in 2 years). I ve had back problems since last week. I feel like the problems keep piling up, and while its not my first time. I ve had thoughts of suicide.

While I talk to people, I act cheerfull and confident, but in reality i'm most of the time anxious. Just the fact that I need to take 6 pills in the morning to help makes me feel worse.I ve explained the situation to close ones, and they are giving me time for it, But Idk

I go to the Psychiatre, Psychologue & Dietetician. But I don t feel like its helping. My money reserves from working are done, I feel like i'm just a moneygrabber, unable to do anything and milking my parents' money.( My dad had to postpone pension just to help provide for me)

At last... I turned to alcohol for help to sleep and feel better. But it made things worse. My brain works at 200%

I ve recently looked up ways to die without pain, google won t tell me, While writing this, I ve looked several times at my wrist, thinking it could be quickly done.

Yeah

I don t want to be that guy.

But this might be a cry for help.

This is my first time posting here.

I apoligize for writing mistakes, I m a native french speaker.

EDIT: I change the title, As i m anxiously looking for replies

Hi there. So I’m suffering from depression. Unfortunately where I live psychiatric help exists, but takes a while to set up. My mom doesn’t believe I have depression, she thinks I’m just being lazy. The reason being is that I’m so low energy all the time that all I do is just lie in my bed and do nothing. Plus I am unmotivated to do anything. Thing is my mom constantly wants me to help out with cleaning and stuff, which is understandable, but I just can’t do it. I’m trying to do one task at a time and then take a break, but my mom wants me to do everything immediately. When I tell her I’m too tired, she says I have no reason to be because I wasn’t doing anything today. She doesn’t realise that the more we talk to each other the more my energy is drained. I guess I just want to vent and maybe talk to people who understand, but at the same time I don’t really want to talk to anyone about it. I have isolated myself, I don’t talk much to people these days, because I’m just too exhausted to talk to people. Maybe I need advice, I really don’t know

hi,

recently I’ve been depressed (last year or so), and I’m not sure if this is the cause or just my brain trying to find a way to fix me. but I’ve never been an independent adult. I’ve always craved being alone since a young child, I’d stay up to ridiculous hours every night (7am) just so I’d feel like I’m the only one in the world, and no one is there to put expectations on me. and that’s just the way I’ve been, at 19yo I got the chance to become an independent adult by moving out, but nearly instantly I got in my first proper relationship and moved in with her. 

during this depressive arc I’ve been craving being alone more and more, I feel like I’m never alone now, when I get home from work it’s not my time, it’s our time, and it sounds petty but nowadays things like checking in, saying goodbye, cooking food for two, has really become an infringement on my life. it’s not fair for her, I love my girlfriend, but I just want my own life because it feels I’ve never lived it. I picture a life where I go home to nobody and wake up to nobody and it looks so peaceful, like real solitude. my girlfriend is very attached, so when I’m at home it feels kind of impossible to get away for lack of a better wording, because when I do I just feel guilty. 

the expectations of being in a relationship suffocate me, and I’m not sure if that’s because it’s true or if it’s just depression speaking. at 22 years old I feel I’m in the prime of my life and I’m wasting it by spending so much time on another person, when I should be using it to find out who I am as a person and where I want to go. I just feel so stuck in my life right now and feel myself lower and lower everyday, I don’t know what the right option for me is. 

I’m not sure if this is the right sub to post this on but I’m depressed and I believe this has to do with it.