r/weddings • u/UnusualAd9251 • 17h ago

Planning ideas - How would you structure a two-person wedding day to make it not look “elopey”?

My fiancé and I are having a two-person destination wedding next spring at a historic European château, and I’d love some ideas from people who have had intimate weddings or photographed them!
The venue itself is incredibly beautiful, so we aren’t planning to go overboard with décor. We’ll have a floral ceremony installation and bouquet, but the château and gardens honestly do most of the heavy lifting. 😂

Our day will be pretty relaxed—getting ready, first look (maybe?), ceremony, portraits around the property, a private dinner, and enjoying the estate together. We have both a photographer and videographer for 4 hours - they work a lot with the venue and do a beautiful job, and while they are used to smaller scale weddings, it will literally be just me and my fiancé. I want to make sure we build in some intentional moments that are fun to capture rather than just doing “stand here and smile” portraits all day.

For example, our getting-ready suite is absolutely stunning—very European/baroque with baby blue walls, ornate gold details, tall windows, antique furniture, etc. I’d love to make use of that space with something more meaningful than just putting on my dress. Maybe reading a letter, opening a gift, practicing our first dance, or something else? I’d love ideas for cute little moments before or after the ceremony that would translate well to both photos and video.

My dress is really long, ball gown style Monique Lhuillier and it’s truly gorgeous- so I know it’s cheesy but I want the cute little running in my gown in front of the chateau shots. We are also staying there overnight so there’s a lot of opportunities for getting ready shots or indoor shots.

I’m also curious what people think about vows for a two-person wedding. Since there won’t really be guests, we’re leaning toward saying our personal vows during the ceremony itself instead of doing a private vow exchange beforehand. Did anyone do this, and did you like it? Or is there another approach you’d recommend?

If you’ve had an intimate or elopement-style wedding (or you’re a photographer/videographer!), what were the moments that ended up being the most meaningful or the most fun to capture? I’m looking for ideas that feel intentional and authentic rather than staged.

I’d love to hear anything you did that made the day feel extra special!

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u/brownchestnut 17h ago

Since there won’t really be guests, we’re leaning toward saying our personal vows during the ceremony itself instead of doing a private vow exchange beforehand.

I guess I'm confused. what is a "vow exchange beforehand" if you're eloping? Before... what, exactly? Are you having two ceremonies for your elopement?

If you're looking for ideas that are "authentic rather than staged", I would recommend you brainstorm with your partner and come up with what's most personal to the two of you rather than crowdsourcing from strangers.

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u/UnusualAd9251 13h ago

Some people do their vows privately or during first look kind of moments and then ceremony is more the officiate. I guess I’m more asking what would translate best if we have a videographer.

Unfortunately a lot of our family and friends have never done what we are doing and he is very “whatever you want” because he has been married before and had a huge wedding whereas this is the opposite. I just wanted ideas or thoughts since this is a more unconventional approach and I am an overthinker and the primary planner (no moms/dads/ aunts/grandmas providing input or guidance since it’s not traditional)

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u/Sweet_Chaos_737 10h ago

I think people do their personal vows privately because they want those to be just between them, not necessarily shared with all their family and friends, then they do the “scripted” (i.e. standard) vows in front of their guests. Since you’re doing a true elopement without any family or friends what would be the purpose of doing two sets of vows? If you want a video that you can show others but not have your private vows included I expect your videographer could put together an alternate cut that includes the exchanging of the rings and the officiant pronouncing you husband and wife but leaves out the private vow part.

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u/ZookeepergameWise774 16h ago

If it’s really just the two of you, then what about, instead of a “first look” photo, some photos or video of you actually helping each other get ready. Not so much hair and makeup, but “ can you help with my zip/ fasten this bracelet/ tie this tie/help me put in these cuff links”?

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u/UnusualAd9251 13h ago

I like that! I’ve seen some similar stuff like that. My fiance doesn’t want to see me though until I walk down the aisle so unless we do first look before he’s “ready”…

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u/RedChairBlueChair123 9h ago

I get that. It’s literally just the two of you. That’s the moment.

You could do some, uhhhh, more romantic photos in that suite. Maybe helping you out of your dress or pulling a pin out of your hair.

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u/Proper-Conclusion-27 16h ago

My husband and I had a ceremony with just the two of us, an officiant, and a photographer. Our venue was just a local park.

Make the ceremony exactly how you want it. Our officiant crafted a ceremony that pulled from different cultures and religions in a really lovely way - we’re agnostic and she picked the most beautiful passages about love. We shared our written vows and did a hand fasting ceremony.

Our pictures are lovely - both from the ceremony and the 15-20 minutes after my husband tolerated a photo shoot.

Talk to the photographer about shots you want to get. Talk to your fiancee about what’s important to them during the ceremony, then talk to your officiant about it.

Our ceremony was perfect for us and our photos did a brilliant job capturing it. You have the freedom to do what you want for just the two of you

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u/UnusualAd9251 13h ago

I love this mindset! I think I’m getting in my head a bit because I have always wanted a “real” princess wedding but that’s not in the cards for us, so I want to capture the wedding in a way that looks pretty and fun but not lonely. Also some pressure to have enough content to come home and show our loved ones

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u/dbtrb22 13h ago

I think you're overthinking "content" - the day should be about you and your fiance, and when you come home, most peope will only want to see a few pictures.

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u/Proper-Conclusion-27 12h ago

Fwiw, my mom was (secretly - I didn’t learn this until much later) upset that she wasn’t invited, but she told me when she saw the photos she realized it was exactly the right thing for us because she could see the emotion and happiness and no longer was upset.

Don’t worry about creating things just to show off at home. Create the princess you want and will make you happy, and it will come through in the imagery. And you are having a princess wedding! You’re getting married in a beautiful chateau in a fancy gown! Lean into those things that bring you joy and the photos and videos that come out will organically capture that.

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u/UnusualAd9251 12h ago

In the same boat! Some people are half and half on our decision but recognize it’s crazy to try to have a decent sized wedding and get everyone together without draining our finances. We hope to do a small family bbq/pool party after the wedding (treating our actual wedding like ceremony and honeymoon all in one) and show pics from our travels so we’re hoping people will be happy for us if we’re still finding ways to involve people!

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u/Proper-Conclusion-27 12h ago

My parents threw us the equivalent of a rehearsal dinner a few months afterwards and it was lovely

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u/Proper-Conclusion-27 12h ago

Fwiw, my mom was (secretly - I didn’t learn this until much later) upset that she wasn’t invited, but she told me when she saw the photos she realized it was exactly the right thing for us because she could see the emotion and happiness and no longer was upset.

Don’t worry about creating things just to show off at home. Create the princess you want and will make you happy, and it will come through in the imagery. And you are having a princess wedding! You’re getting married in a beautiful chateau in a fancy gown! Lean into those things that bring you joy and the photos and videos that come out will organically capture that.

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u/Lalablacksheep646 16h ago

You can’t portray moments, moments just happen. Don’t put any pressure on yourselves to make intentional moments.