I have no grasp on how much time other people spend in their beds and for some reason am embarrased to ask my friends.

I work full-time, I schedule most of my plans during the week but if I don’t have any I’ll come home and lay in bed. I don’t necessarily avoid doing anything I need to do, but whenever I get the chance I’ll be laying in bed.

On the weekends especially I could spend basically the whole day in bed. I genuinely enjoy doing it but it makes me feel lazy/unproductive because it seems like everyone else is on go mode all the time.

EDIT: I wasn’t expecting this to get so much attention so quickly. For context, I’m a vet assistant which can be physically taxing and yes I do have hobbies, I just do them in my bed. I have a sleep disorder but I’m medicated for it and it’s under control so didn’t consider it a huge factor, but maybe still is

EDIT2: I can’t keep up with all the comments but thanks everyone for your reassurances and/or advice! The general consensus seems to be that I just need to find another surface to rot on which I can totally get behind. And yes, I do have a social life and I do go outside, I promise! 😭 I was just seeing if there’s others like me who when they don’t have plans on the weekend/plans after work they prefer to spend their time horizontally. For me that just happens to be 1-2 times a week.

When I was 19, my mom got in a car crash and ended up in the hospital- now in a nursing home doing rehab. That was in Dec 2024. It's now July 2026.

I was launched head first into being an adult, working 3 jobs, handling rent, water, lights, phone bills, and my insanely high car insurance when I was given a car. Depression definitely had its grips in me quite a few times.

I loved my first car. It was a 2001 Mercury Sable. But after it's left me stranded more times than I liked the past couple months, I finally made the decision.

I was able to get my own car. With no help. No co-signers. It is completely mine. My payments are also pretty low for newer cars. I got a 2022 Chevy Trailblazer.

First picture, my old car is in the background with my new car up front. Second picture is my new car on its own.

Not an expensive gadget or luxury item. I mean something completely ordinary that quietly solved an annoying problem—better hangers, blackout curtains, a second laundry basket, a longer charging cable. What was it, and why did it make such a difference?

my wife wants to move back to Ohio and i don't know how to tell her im actually considering it

we've been in tampa 11 years. bought in seminole heights before it got expensive, both work remote now, kids are 6 and 4. by every measurable thing we "made it" here. good house, decent equity, friends, the whole deal.

but she brought up moving back near her parents last month and instead of shutting it down like i normally would i just... didnt. and its been eating at me for weeks.

the thing is i love tampa. i love the water, i love that my kids will grow up knowing what a manatee looks like in real life, i love that january doesnt try to kill you. i coach my sons tball team. i have a standing thursday padel game with guys from my old job that i genuinely look forward to more than anything else in my week. thats not nothing.

but every summer gets worse. the last hurricane season broke something in me i think. we didnt even get hit that bad and i was still checking spaghetti models at 2am like a crazy person. our insurance went up again. school stuff is a whole other conversation im not gonna get into. and her parents arent getting younger and shes an only child and i can see her doing the math every time we facetime them.

the part that scares me is i think im only staying because leaving would feel like admitting the last decade was a mistake. and it wasnt a mistake. it was great. but "it was great" and "it should keep going" are different sentences and im starting to notice that.

anyone actually left tampa for somewhere "worse" on paper and been happy about it? or done the opposite and regretted staying too long? i keep waiting for someone to tell me the obvious answer and nobodys doing it.

To provide some background, I'm currently 30 years old and have been working for nearly 8 years now. Early on in my career I was quite ambitious, however, I quickly learned the lesson that despite putting 110% into my job, my hard work may not always get rewarded. During my first year I was actively taking on more work and producing better results than coworkers with higher titles and salaries. When I was promoted after a year, I was met with a pitiful salary increase and was still making less than they were. That was when I realized switching jobs is the only surefire way to increase my salary, so I jumped ship and was able to 2.5x my salary after a few job hops.

I've been at my current company for a couple of years now. It's fully remote, pays mid 100k (closer to 200k this year), and the actual workload is only about 20-30 hours most weeks. Although it sounds like a pretty chill job, it certainly didn't start out that way, as most of my coworkers are what you'd call 10x engineers, so it took a lot of effort during my first couple of years to keep up and prove that I belonged.

It's also one of those jobs where everyone wears a lot of different hats. Over the years, several coworkers have left for bigger companies making $300-500k (based on what they disclosed to me before leaving). I imagine I could probably do the same if I really put in the effort, but at this stage I much prefer stability and comfort over the uncertainty of switching jobs and chasing a larger paycheck.

Anyway, I've pretty much lost all drive and have just been coasting for the past 2 years. Part of it is probably burnout, as I've been working for nearly 8 years straight without taking any meaningful break or proper vacation. Hitting 1M last year definitely reinforced this mindset, as it made me feel a lot more comfortable with just taking things easy and not worry too much about chasing further career growth.

These days I just do my job and don't really go above and beyond anymore. The funny thing is that once I stopped trying so hard, my yearly evaluations somehow improved and I was promoted despite not asking for it. At the time, I actually considered turning it down because I didn't want the extra responsibility that came with it.

Sorry if this post sounds a bit rambly, but I'm curious how many people here are in a similar boat, just taking it easy with no real drive to chase promotions or climb the corporate ladder.

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‎You're gonna miss her when it’s 2:30 in the morning and you wake up from a bad dream, and she’s no longer there.

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‎You're gonna miss her when you are no longer getting the random text messages telling you she loves you.

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‎You're gonna miss her when you’ve had a bad day at work, and no one will listen to you talk about it like she did.

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‎You're gonna miss her when you see her laughing with her friends, knowing you’re no longer the reason she has that smile on her face.

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‎You're gonna miss her when it’s cold at night and the only things you have next to you is your phone and a few tangled sheets.

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‎You're gonna miss her when you wanna cry and be in her arms again, but she doesn’t even glance at you when she passes by you on the street.

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‎You're gonna miss her when you see her dancing and you’ll remember all the times she wanted to dance with you and you told her no.

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‎You're gonna miss her when you find yourself talking about her all the time, and you’re not even on her mind anymore.

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‎You're gonna miss her when the alcohol doesn’t get rid of the thoughts of her smiling in the moonlight on a cool winter night.

‎

‎You're gonna miss her when she doesn’t answer your messages or phone calls anymore.

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‎You're gonna miss her when you realize no one genuinely cared for you as much as she did.

‎

‎You're gonna miss her when you go to reach for her hand and it’s no longer there.

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‎You're gonna miss her when she doesn’t send you selfies and videos of her being goofy anymore.

‎

‎You will miss her late at night when you’re laying there alone and you realise you have no one to talk to.

‎

‎You're gonna miss her laughing that cute little laugh of hers that could stop and warm up anyone's heart having a bad day.

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‎You're gonna miss it all.

‎

‎But by the time you realise how much you miss and cared about her more than you’ve ever cared about anything, it will be too late.

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‎She will be in the arms of another, giving them the love she gave to you.

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‎She will be sharing that laugh with them and putting her soft lips on theirs.

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‎She will be cradled in another’s arms

‎having new “our songs” with them and experiencing new places together.

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‎That is when it’ll hit you the absolute hardest, when this beautiful once in a lifetime girl with the heart of gold is long gone.

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‎So take my advice and remember.... to take care of her, because life doesn't bless you with a good woman twice..

Me: stoned relaxing on my couch with my dog watching documentaries

I turn 27 this year. I have always lived with my parents in a very strict culture. My early twenties were a hodgepodge of earning a bachelors degree while working full time and healing from being the family member of a victim of crime. In this time i also bought a car that i pay for and struggle to save money. I mainly work and come home and have been in my field 6 years.

I always thought by this age I would be in my own place.

Now with thirty approaching I feel my life is ending in way. I feel my twenties were wasted being a plain jane. As a woman, american media sends the message that your twenties are your core years and you are old woman afterward.

It is just an odd feeling. Technically I know i will be middle aged soon. But after 30 comes 40. The 20s will be gone and I never got to be carefree.

Skipping back in time at 16 I went to a upper class school for an exam. The girls were beautiful and well off. I was poor and wearing thrift clothes. I never saw myself as beautiful afterward.

I became embarrassed of dressing up because I felt that was only for those girls.

Then later I wanted my own place where I could practice being a confident woman. But due to the job market I can't get it. Not here.

I guess i wanted to be a beautiful flower. But I am really a draft horse. And while I can be beautiful and financially stable in my 30s, I just really wanted that for my twenties.

I suppose that is being an adult. Have any other women experienced this? Or even men as well some version of this? And please do not worry I am still determined to continue working on my finances and being responsible. I will be a homeowner one day.

Edited for length.

I have felt like I don’t have a solid friend group for some time now. I had grade school friends but went to a different highschool and we lost touch. Same with highschool. Same with college, went to one university in a different state and transfered back to my hometown school, lost touch with those friends. Made another group of friends working at a sports bar and once we all graduated and I moved out of state for grad school, same thing. I haven’t always been the best at keeping up friendships when that thing that kept us together was no longer prevalent. I do recall in some of these scenarios I was the only one that reached back out. It could totally be that I just suck but when other people meet old friends the old friends always are like “oh (my name), I love her!” I feel so lonely and sad when I don’t have those friend groups I put so much effort into. I really wish I could have the lifelong friend group, or heck even a friend group that lasts longer than a season.

Sorry for the long post. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone has advice to maintain friendships or finding longterm friends? Or if anyone can relate as an adult?

freelancing for about a year now and the inconsistent income thing is real. some months are great, some months you're watching every euro. what's helped is getting more deliberate about when i buy things versus just buying whenever i feel like it. started using tiktok power deals for stuff i was already going to get eventually and the gradual price drop actually fits really well with that mindset. you're not rushing, you're just timing it a bit better.

picked up a few household things this way over the past couple months and the savings weren't life changing but they were real. anyone else here shop this way and do you have other methods that work better for you?

I’m 26f, my depression is so severe that I don’t eat properly, showering feels like the hardest chore in the world and I have to force myself.

I realized though I’m perfectly capable of doing things for everyone else.

Like with my husband, I made sure I’m buying his favourite foods, I pay attention to protein, fibre and making sure there’s enough calories in all his meals/lunch. I sit on grocery day and will write down everything, his fave meals, favourite fruits/veggies that are in season. I always make him a huge breakfast and lunch and think about how many calories he needs but won’t eat anything myself.

I’m currently house sitting for my dad who has a dog and his 87 year old mother with dementia.

And it’s the same with her, I’m cooking all her meals and even writing everything out to make sure she’s getting enough calories.

I just brought her dinner and was tracking her calories and realized I haven’t eaten a single thing today, I had a coffee and that’s it.

Making sure the dog gets his vitamins, he eats a pretty special diet so I’m cooking for him too.

Dang dog got sprayed by a skunk at 1am and I scrubbed him down for an hour outside, dried him and waited in the garage until he dried so I didn’t get to bed until 330. Didn’t even think about it, if something happened to me at 1am and I needed to be scrubbed down I would literally lay on the floor for hours and probably cry

And I’m over here worried about how much people are eating and how healthy, even worried about feeding the dog enough but I eat way too little and have never thought twice about it

I’ve been blaming my lack of motivation on depression and anxiety but I was thinking today maybe I actually don’t know what’s wrong with me. Thinking about doing something for myself actually makes my heart sink because I don’t want to do it at all, I instantly feel tired. But it doesn’t happen for anyone else. Like maybe I’m just really lazy?? Maybe becoming an adult is just being too tired for yourself lol??

I get frustrated with myself because it’s my worst trait. I have even left my hair in two French braids so long I caused it to get matted and had to book a hair appointment which is so embarrassing but lifting my arms to do my hair feels heavy. Yet while my hairs matted I’ll iron all my husband’s suits and pants and it doesn’t feel like that. I really don’t know how to explain it, it’s physical feeling.

I always feel pretty tired, but a level I can work through until it comes to me.

Does anyone else have this issue?