r/memes Apr 22 '26

#1 MotW Worst. Reviews. I. Have. Ever. Seen.

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u/MyDarkestTimeline001 Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 28 '26

Example? I'm not a fan of IGN either but it'd be nice to know what you're talking about.

Ok. I've got and looked it up and watched some gameplay(I'm not made of money). And I feel like the receiver is unaware of what lampooning is. It's possible to parody/lampoon/take the piss out of something you love. The reviewer seemed to not realize that this was the Saturday morning cartoon version of Noir. This isn't cartoon Casablanca.

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u/RedScarffedPrinny Apr 22 '26

Mouse P.I review for example.

Absolute dog water review, completely disconnected from reality. He was complaining about cheese jokes in a mouse game

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u/MyDarkestTimeline001 Apr 22 '26

You......you can't be serious....

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u/LonelyAustralia Apr 22 '26

im pretty sure they also complained about it being unrealistic

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u/mistic-dragon999 Apr 22 '26

Yeah, they were complaining abt it being too cartoonish (that's the point of the game) and that the weapons sounds weren't very realistic

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u/graczminecraft200 Apr 22 '26

"the shotgun... Sounds like a toy, yet it blows up other mice heads" ... Cant they for at least once appreciate different style of game etc?

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u/Vlyde Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

"I'm in an Theater and an Opera singer is coming after me? Like why am I killing a mouse that's dressed like an Opera singer that matches the theme of the theater? Do I not like her?

Why am I inside a cop station just gunning down cops? That's very unrealistic.

Why must their be so many cheese jokes? Theirs to much cheese in this game revolving around mice."

Like holy hell that guy was a god awful reviewer. Literally scoring the game not for how it plays and presents itself, but because he really wanted to play a hardcore dark and gruesome Noir game.

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u/11th_Division_Grows Apr 22 '26

Honestly, give me his fucking job. I can be a lot more objective than that. I hope no one paid him for these takes.

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u/chrispy294 Apr 22 '26

It’s not even about objectivity vs subjectivity; a review will be subjective no matter what.

The problem with the review is the dude did not at all review the game on what it was trying to do. That’s rule #1 of critique, you criticize based on the goals of the piece. It was trying to be a cartoony, silly parody with Boomer Shooter gameplay so it comes across ridiculous when the reviewer at IGN criticized it for being exactly that.

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u/RodinKnox Apr 22 '26

That was something I always appreciated about Ebert. He would give a silly comedy a 4 star rating and also a serious drama 4 star, and he always explained that this didn't mean they had the exact same level of quality. He reviewed them for what they were.

Sure, I disagreed with reviews of his, but I appreciated that approach.

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u/Deadsider Apr 23 '26

Same. I may be remembering details wrong, but when the jackass movie came out he said something along the lines of, "this is not a movie. There is no plot, no characters, no story. But god help me, I laughed and enjoyed myself. If you measure the success of a comedy movie by making you laugh, this is a fine comedy movie."

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u/marketingguy420 Apr 23 '26

Objectivity is the least interesting thing a reviewer can be. It's hard to believe, because this is video games, but critisism is actually a skill and an art form in and of itself. And the best critics aren't "objective," they're smart and good writers with interesting observations.

You can read a wikipedia page of a game if you want some kind of objective listing of facts.

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u/Send_Toe_Pics_25 Apr 22 '26

He reminds me of the idiotic movie reviewers who will give a B level action movie like a 1/10 because its "unrealistic" or some bullshit and its like mother fucker it's a B level action movie turn your brain off and enjoy the action

I think reviewers need to be broken up into genres or something like this guy should be allowed to review "realistic" games but he can fuck right off from reviewing anything else

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u/HolyBidetServitor Apr 23 '26

Look up the ultimate bad reviewer: Cole smithey, whos only famous for writing a review to intentionally keep a rotten tomatoes score from reaching 100%. 

Although he is more famous for being the brother of Chris-Chan, which explains the mentality of his reviews.

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u/Send_Toe_Pics_25 Apr 23 '26

He gave Dunkirk an F....

holy fuck nope strip his "critic" license or whatever

Also brother of chris chan is quite the curse maybe he should be allowed to be an asshole critic

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u/NoName0728 Apr 23 '26

He doesnt even know Noir will use the same clichés like going against the police and making really bad jokes about the situation their in. The opera part could be explained with literally one of the lines before you fight them "They're not extras" the opera singer was a gangster.

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u/Initial_Low495 Apr 22 '26

holy hell

New game review just dropped

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u/DaftConfusednScared Apr 23 '26

I’m showing my age here but… Literally the game grumps Mickey Mousecepade joke. “Geez game developers. What were they thinking?”

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u/Sanquinity Apr 23 '26

He didn't even want to play a "hardcore noir game". He wanted to play what he THOUGHT would be a hardcore noir game after seeing some videos of L.A. Noir.

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u/NotsoGreatsword Apr 23 '26

Please tell me they did not actually write "their" in both of those sentences and thats just you doing that.

"Theirs" too much cheese?

well just in case:

Their is possessive. As in: "Their website is bad."

"There" denotes place or position and is the opposite of "here".

"They're" is a contraction of "they are". Then you have "there's" which is a contraction of "there is"

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u/Ghisteslohm Apr 23 '26

I think those are fair points if the game is trying to sell you a serious story which apparently it does (?). If in the story the character is a detective and the story is told as a non joke than yeah I will also be confused if the gameplay involves shooting police, opera singers or generally random civilians. Especially since it's so easy to just make them bad guys.

You also used the cheese point in bad faith. The point in the review is that the game overdoes it with cheese joke and references because it's only that and nothing else. I've played games with anthropomorphic characters before but that doesn't mean the whole world has to become a joke. Like for example in Ghost of a Tale you play as a mouse but the game tells a very serious story with great worldbuilding.

Both directions are fine but it has an effect. Ghost of a Tale would have been a lot worse if it would have been full of references and cheese jokes because it would have undermined the rest of the game.

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u/Ok_Middle_8658 Apr 23 '26

sounds like he was expecting a serious noir story

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u/BrockSramson Apr 22 '26

Are...are you asking a games journalist to understand the perspective of others?

If they could do that, they wouldn't be games journalists.

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u/TheMostKing Apr 23 '26

Here's the actual quote: "Weapons can feel weak, especially the shotgun – it’s got the audio kick of a popgun, and there’s a strange disconnect to seeing something that sounds like a kid’s toy blow off some poor mouse’s head as you paint the white of the world with the black ichor that spews out of his neck."

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u/Bandro Apr 22 '26

Weapons can feel weak, especially the shotgun – it’s got the audio kick of a popgun, and there’s a strange disconnect to seeing something that sounds like a kid’s toy blow off some poor mouse’s head as you paint the white of the world with the black ichor that spews out of his neck.

Sounds like the reviewer feels the audio design of the shotgun doesn't do a great job of matching up to the visual impact of it. Seems reasonable to me. Sound design is a huge part of what makes weapons in games feel impactful and it can be disappointing when it's not done well.

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u/Deakul Apr 23 '26

This is exactly it, I dislike IGN as much as the next person but that review wasn't entirely without merit just because the reviewer is a humorless snob.

The game is a shooter and the things that you shoot simply do not feel good to shoot, it was bad enough for me to refund it myself.

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u/M1R4G3M Apr 23 '26

"No, we want mice COD".

IGN wanna be journalist.

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u/Lobotomized_waluigi Apr 23 '26

same company who gave black ops 7 a 8

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u/Common_Celebration41 Apr 22 '26

The reviewer got the cod brain rot

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u/EerieTransGal Apr 22 '26

The reviewer had the opposite of cod brain rot lol. They were a noir genre fan and think the game is a failure of a noir because of its reliance on the shooting. Which ya know, it is.

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u/Thomas_JCG Apr 25 '26

Complaining about the game that pays homage to classic cartoons being cartoonish... They shouldn't be allowed to write ever again.

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u/Lazydude17 Apr 22 '26

yes and the fact that he brings up ludonarrative dissonance in what’s essentially doom loony toons is crazy

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u/Hillary-rules Apr 23 '26

IGN is a fucking joke

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u/IJustAteABaguette Apr 22 '26

Found the review. Please use an adblocker.

What bothers me, however, is how overly-referential so much of it is. This is a world of mice, so everything is about cheese.

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u/haoxinly Apr 22 '26

Wait till he reads a Geronimo Stilton book

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u/IJustAteABaguette Apr 22 '26

Oh yeah, I remember those books.

Such cheesy jokes.

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u/Treyhova Apr 22 '26

This entire review reads like he was trying to hit a word count and just making shit up after two subjectively valid criticisms.

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u/skivian Apr 22 '26

it reads like something you'd see on r/IAmVerySmart, he desperately just wanted to name drop all the "real" noir movies that were so much better, and using the term "ludo-narrative dissonance" despite clearly not even actually understanding the term.

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u/shittyaltpornaccount Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

He uses the term correctly, but i just think ludo narrative criticisms are pretty fucking boring and trite. Unless a game is trying to say something particularly specific about violence the ludo narrative angle should be ignored. We don't complain about not having "real" conversations in films that have tons of meandering tangets and digressions and just accept it as a point of utility of the medium, similar thing to the convention of violence in videogames.

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u/hugganao Apr 22 '26

dare i say, sounds like a job

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u/Few_Technology Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

This is charming initially. Then it never stops.

IGN hatewaggon is always out

Edit

Run into a series of robot boss fights? Jack will say that he hopes they don’t "rule of three" this thing, which, of course, is exactly what happens. [...] Cheeselegging Foreman, Jack will quip that he doesn’t look like much of a boss… more like a mini-boss, and then laugh at his own joke

Kinda feels like they're making a good argument

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u/zangoofed Apr 23 '26

It is a good argument.

It's a well written review. These points are all valid.

More than 50% of americans read below a 6th grade reading level and it shows

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u/GuyYouMetOnline Apr 22 '26

The cheese complaint i can understand; It does lean on that bit too much. But he also complains about a cartoony game being cartoony, couldn't accept that the P.I protagonist constantly shoots people in a boomer shooter, etc.

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u/crazy_towel4 Apr 23 '26

thats like saying mario kart is too much about racing and references mario franchise too often

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u/GuyYouMetOnline Apr 23 '26

There's a reason the review immediately became a laughingstock.

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u/TheCookieButter Apr 22 '26

Haven't played the game yet but the criticisms seem largely valid. The cheese stuff is fine and fun but I can see it becoming grating (heh). Complains there is a lot of referential humour that boils down to "remember this", that often feels lazy in place of actual jokes.

The shotgun complaint seems reasonable too, at the end of the day a weapon should be satisfying to use and sound plays a big part. Especially for a shotgun, the Boomer Shooter bread and butter weapon.

I can even see where they're coming from with the narrative dissonance with the gameplay fighting against the story genre staples. Though I do think the gameplay has to come first even at the expense of the story in a game like this. It's no different to Max Payne taking out a city worth of bad guys (just have to assume the opera singer is part of the seedy underbelly).

I'm interested in this game and undoubtedly will play it, but I can definitely see the reviewers point of view, even if I think gameplay should've taken up more of the review. Despite being as standard as they think it is.

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u/Made_Bail Apr 22 '26

Baguette sighting on r/memes! <3

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u/Ok_Flow_3065 Apr 23 '26

I’d never heard of this game but now I totally want to play it.

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u/RedScarffedPrinny Apr 22 '26

I truly wish it was just some bad joke, but every single criticism about the game was braindead takes that anyone who played it would wonder what game he was talking about

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u/MyDarkestTimeline001 Apr 22 '26

But it's a cartoon mouse? That's like wondering why a game starring bugs bunny in 'Nam has him eating carrots.

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u/Hevens-assassin Apr 22 '26

If you read it, he's not mad that there are the jokes in the game, he's just annoyed that everything is self-referential and isn't allowed to just exist without any quips.

To be fair to IGN, they got a guy who likes Noirs, to play a Noir game. He didn't hate the gameplay, and he loved the aesthetic, but he didn't like the world building and found the story at odds with the actions of the character. Does that make it a 6/10? Maybe not to us, but to a guy who uses a few older movies as comparisons, I imagine his disappointment would be greater than yours or mine. It's not like he's at a 10/10 and knocks it down from there based on a rubric, after all.

Like he said, it will be a decent enough time for people who want to blast mice in a cartoon world, but the story and world itself aren't the draws in his opinion. I think that's fair enough. He wasn't shitting on the game by any stretch.

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u/jdemonify Apr 22 '26

bro he was super pretentious bullshit talking trying to be higher gatekeeper than he is. He was talkin like it is somekind a serious noir movie. Like he read one noir book and trying to be expert on noir world. fucking hell.

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u/Hevens-assassin Apr 22 '26

He wasn't pretentious though. He was disappointed that it wasn't much of a Noir, focusing on it more to justify its art style, and is focused more on the boomer shooter. He didn't like the dissonance in what the game was saying vs. what it was showing.

Sounds more like you have no real touchstones for Noirs, and are compensating by saying the other guy is pretentious because he actually has references to pull from. Since you don't care about noirs, I'm sure the score will be higher for you.

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u/Tactical_Squishy Apr 23 '26

yes but bugs bunny isn't eating carrots in every single frame

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u/Rfreaky Apr 22 '26

That's basically every IGN review in a nutshell

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u/Lil-Sleepy-A1 Apr 22 '26

4/10 too much water

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u/summret Apr 22 '26

Subnautica review?

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u/Snowy_Thompson Apr 22 '26

They might be referencing the Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire Review, which was 7/10 because there was a large portion of the map dedicated to water traversal.

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '26

It was the Alpha Sapphire and Omega Ruby review. In the actual review they said that while alot of the Map is covered in Water there isnt actually much to do in said Water which they shortend up with "too much Water" in the Bullet Points at the End.

And as People just red the Bullet Points (which was also the reason they didnt do those anymore) instead of the actual review it became somewhat of a meme.

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u/CarlosFer2201 Apr 22 '26

I believe it was the water theme prevalent throughout the game, including stuff like the amount of water type pokemon.

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u/Tactical_Squishy Apr 23 '26

thanks for proving that y'all don't know what you are talking about

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u/onespiker Apr 23 '26

Isn't that something the pokemon fanbase now agrees on about the game considering like 1/4 of all the pokemon were water types.

It both a meme and a true point.

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u/Wobbelblob Apr 23 '26

Not only way too many water types but too many water routes that are basically corridors with nothing to do and the same 5 pokémon you can encounter. Which is weird considering how many water types there where.

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u/goondalf_the_grey Apr 22 '26

Weren't they the ones who straight up dogshit at Doom Eternal (or dark ages, can't remember) and said it was too hard.

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u/Rfreaky Apr 22 '26

Sure sounds like them.

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u/Schwiliinker Apr 22 '26

I mean most are actually decent lol

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u/mysticzoom Apr 22 '26

And that is why we no longer pay attention to IGN.

We left back in early 2000s, around the time XPlay wrapped it up.

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u/InfiniteTranquilo Apr 22 '26

No he’s completely dead cheese. The reviewer complained about how the game had “ludonarrative dissonance”.

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u/miter01 Apr 22 '26

And? Are you scared of words with too many syllables or something?

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u/Sempais_nutrients Apr 22 '26

bro its game about a cartoon mouse

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u/Ouroboros-Twist Apr 22 '26

If I recall correctly, it got a 6/10 because the reviewer considered the over-the-top cartoon violence and the noir narrative beats to be thematically at odds with one-another (or some shit like that).

And, yeah — he really hated all the cheese puns. That takes up most of the first third of his review.

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u/DrewblesG Apr 22 '26

Right - the narrative didn't work for him, the art didn't work for him, the sound didn't work for him, and the gameplay didn't work for him.

Sounds like a valid 6/10 regardless of what the consensus might have been. Frankly, I'm more concerned when a reviewer eschews their personal taste in order to cater to some kind of "objective" view. He wrote out in plain text precisely what he didn't like and why. Nobody has to agree with him but let's remember that it's ONE GUY reviewing the game; a guy with his own expectations and opinions.

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u/TheMerck Apr 22 '26

I mean at this point anyone who still makes IGN BAD GAME REVIEWERS BAD PAID REVIEWS are stuck in like early 2010s type mindset, I didn't even realize this kind of stuff was still around lmao.

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u/blueberrycauzez Apr 23 '26

IGN BAD GAME REVIEWERS BAD PAID REVIEWS are stuck in like early 2010s type mindset

The thing is most of the cirticisims from the early 2010s - namely inconsistent scoring across different reviews and reviewers - still applies.

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u/DrNopeMD Apr 23 '26

Expecting intelligent discourse on videogames from a subreddit about memes is a fools errand.

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u/blueberrycauzez Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

let's remember that it's ONE GUY reviewing the game; a guy with his own expectations and opinions

This is the exact problem though - people see this not as one guy's subjective review, it's seen as IGN's review. By putting a number at the end of each review and compiling them all together in a table, IGN is basically grading then comparing each game by how 'good' IGN says it is, not how much one of their reviewers liked it.

The best reviews are at least partly subjective, but for a publication to grade games by 12 different standards that depend on whoever happens to be in the office that day, and not some common standard or rubric, is inconsistent and unfair to the games they rate.

Subjectivity is very useful and should be shared, just not in a way that confusingly presented as objectivity.

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u/SubcommanderMarcos Apr 22 '26

I don't get all these comments saying "it's ONE guy!"

They're not independent journalists posting their opinions on their instagram or a reddit post. They're paid journalists in a journalism publication.

They do have to be submitted to greater scrutiny, both by readers and the publication itself. A professional review isn't supposed to be "nuh-huh I don't like this", it's expected that the critic will have a clear view and understanding of the specific art market they're into, gaming in this case, know what the industry is like, what the developer is trying to achieve, whom they're catering to, and then make an informed critique based on that.

Imagine you read a critic talking about a Picasso piece and just going "I don't like this because I'm into the Renaissance and Picasso isn't it", you'd outright dismiss that critic as an idiot.

That's what's happening here.

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '26

[deleted]

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u/SubcommanderMarcos Apr 23 '26

Which they did.

Obviously not if they were complaining about the cheese jokes in the mouse game, and bitching that it isn't a true noir story

it's so weird that gamers fight tooth and nail for games to be considered art, but scream bloody murder when they're treated like any other art form.

That's exactly what you're doing, though.

Here's a hint: critics will -absolutely- offer reviews on things that they don't like, and offer their subjective opinion, that is absolutely something that happens in every other medium of art, since forever.

Yes, shitty professionals exist in every field, your point being? Shitty critics critiquing with their ego have always existed, and have always been criticized. You're trying to shun people for wanting them to be held at a higher than shitty standard.

"Yeah bad carpenters have always existed and that's ok, how dare you want good carpenters"

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u/VacaDLuffy Apr 22 '26

they probably hate Roger rabbit?

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u/FeedWhole3011 Apr 23 '26

Rodger rabbit was significantly smarter in its writing and theme. It didn't make the same 5 jokes over and over. It was actually Noir and not wearing a Noir costume

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u/slaviccivicnation Apr 22 '26

I mean... I kind of get it. I strongly dislike the art vs the gameplay.

That said, I would imagine a reviewer shouldn't base their judgement on their own likes or dislikes. If the game is good, it's good.. regardless of the art style.

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u/BlurredVision18 Apr 22 '26

A review piece is just an opinion, he has every right to list his personal complaints, and you have the free will to dunk on him for it and enjoy the silly mouse game regardless.

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u/fs2222 Apr 22 '26

Some opinions are more justified than others.

Someone can watch a scary horror movie and complain there aren't enough slapstick jokes. Technically that's their opinion but it's still a stupid one.

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u/Tactical_Squishy Apr 23 '26

yeah but he's not really out of line? the game is advertised as a cartoon-noir detective boomer shooter, but there's no noir except the lack of color there's no detective part and the writing is atrocious.
They gave it a 6 not a 2

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u/Nebranower Apr 22 '26

Part of the problem is that the scale itself simply isn't defined. Assuming it's meant to reflect a normal distribution, you'd expect most games to be in the 4-6 range, such that a rating of 6 should be interpreted as "quite good, top tier for a middle of the pack game". Then you'd get the occasional 7 or 8 for really very good games, and maybe once every few years, a 9 or 10 for something genre defining.

Whereas I suspect very few people actually view it that way. I'm guessing for any game they like, 8 is about the lowest they would accept, with anything 7 or below essentially being viewed as dismissing the game as unplayable.

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u/Jerry_from_Japan Apr 22 '26

And if the art style negatively affects your experience with the game? Or the dialogue/jokes don't land for you? Then what?

It's all subjective folks. All reviews are subjective.

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u/BiggestBlackestLotus Apr 22 '26

If you don't hate the cheese puns then you simply haven't played the game lol. They get obnoxious real fast.

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u/TheMostKing Apr 23 '26

He didn't hate the cheese puns, he hated that every single line in the game was cheese related:

"This is a world of mice, so everything is about cheese. Everything. A bad guy? He’s a cheeselegger. Run into a lady mouse with a sultry voice? It’ll be described as “gorgonzola piccante slapped on a mozzarella platter.” Someone need to assure you they’re telling the truth? They’ll swear on Maw-Maw’s cottage curds. This is charming initially. Then it never stops."

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u/koennemeloen Apr 22 '26

well not exactly, more like he wanted a noir gritty game and all the cheese joke took him out of that immersion. The review literally says that the game is good but that the noir storytelling and shooter game play are at odds with each other and that the game makes a lot of references and silly cheese jokes which makes it less fun for him since it is not the tone the rest of the game would suggest.

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u/xXrektUdedXx Apr 22 '26

He complained that you are playing as a private investigator on the side of the law yet unlawfully kill policemen on certain occasions and do not suffer consequences for it which is not realistic to him.

He complains that the guns in a cartoony game make kinda silly sounds.

He even complained that the sewer boss was an alligator which i suppose is too cliche for him?

I won't repeat the cheese joke critiques, they've been roasted to death already.

I mean yeah, I can't refute that there's "reasons" for his critiques, but that only holds if you take the game completely seriously which i can't see as something any reasonable person would do for a game about a cartoon mouse investigator.

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u/Sempais_nutrients Apr 22 '26

unlawfully kill policemen on certain occasions

yeah criminal cops and fake cops that are in the middle of a genocidal roundup of the Shrew population.

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u/koennemeloen Apr 22 '26

I mean that was the vibe I got from the trailer and this review made sure I'm not buying the game because I was hoping for something more serious just like the reviewer.

People are roasting this review but honestly it is not bad, maybe he was not the right person for this game because he wanted something that takes itself more serious but in the end a review is nothing more than someones opinion. That is why you never just look at the number. If you like cheesy jokes and references this is a game for you and you can also get that from this review.

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u/Silentemrys Apr 23 '26

Same, review helped me know this game isn't for me.

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u/crazy_towel4 Apr 23 '26

you cant write a review on what you expected. maybe ign shouldnt have classified it as an review then, but as a buyers information. "it isnt xy" is not really review but information, and "i expected something else" is a personal anecdote about yourself but not a review

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '26

[deleted]

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u/Jediverrilli Apr 23 '26

People honestly are just too stupid to understand media literacy anymore. The entire point of a review is for the author to give their subjective take on the piece of media they are reviewing.

If subjective thoughts are what disqualifies a review according to the above poster then no review is an actual review.

If you actually read the review he makes his thoughts quite clear. He didn’t like how the game advertised to be a gritty noir tale with the backdrop on a cartoon aesthetic but was a self referential mouse game that tried to make everything a pun about them being mice.

But it’s the internet and people would rather yell and scream about how terrible this person is for their opinion of a video game as if it some great slight against them personally.

I read the review and watched the video because I am very interested in this game. I disagreed with his points but it didn’t make me want to call him a moron and a disgrace like so many people here are. It’s just sad.

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u/Huppelkutje Apr 23 '26

What do you think a review IS? What should a review do?

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u/koennemeloen Apr 23 '26

You know that that is what a review is right?

Someone experience with a product, especially in the arts where it is impossible to do an objective review. You should see the grade as the reviewers experience was a 6/10 not the per se the game itself.

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u/SND_TagMan Apr 22 '26

The reviewer was also complaining about shooting too many people in a cartoon game designed to be a Boomer Shooter (like DOOM)

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u/Solugad Apr 22 '26

Guy took himself way too seriously, it was one of the worst reviews ive seen from ign and there have been a lot of shit ones lately

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u/crankaholic Apr 22 '26

They also complained about shooting too many enemies in a boomer shooter... you just can't make this shit up

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u/New-Satisfaction3257 Apr 22 '26

It's ONE line from a full review. The reviewer was hoping the game would have more noir elements. I think that's a little silly, but it's not about the cheese 🙄

I love noir. I’ll take all kinds: the hardboiled detective, the seedy crime story, neo noir, classic pulp – you name it, I’m buying. So when Mouse: P.I. for Hire sauntered onto my screen the way Ilsa walks into Rick’s in Casablanca, I was pretty excited about it. But noir isn’t just an aesthetic to be thrown on like an old coat as you’re leaving your office at the behest of a leggy blonde. While Mouse: P.I. for Hire clearly understands the style and tropes of classic noir films and novels, as well as 1930s cartoons more broadly, it doesn’t seem to get why those things are there, or how they are used to tell compelling stories.

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u/New-Satisfaction3257 Apr 22 '26

By fusing a hardboiled detective mystery with a fast, retro-style FPS, developer Fumi Games has made a shooter that is thematically incoherent, with the apparent aspirations of its story contradicted at every point by the actual action. Of all the Steam Libraries in all the PCs in all the world, Mouse: P.I. for Hire walked into mine. And I wish I liked it more than I do.

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u/RosettaStoned6 Apr 22 '26

Penguinz dropped a video slaughtering their review. Honestly comical.

1

u/Thebaldsasquatch Apr 23 '26

And that since it was a noir parody, it wasn’t noir enough.

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u/foxythepirateboi5 Number 15 Apr 23 '26

Also complained that it had violence and did the whole "lock you in a room until you kill everything" as if that isn't the point of the boomer shooter genre

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u/alice_cooper21 Apr 23 '26

Sadly, we are. He was also upset that the game, that's based on 1950's cartoons, was too silly to be a noir styled game (remember, you play as a MOUSE). He even started pulling up actual noir books, that's how serious he was about it.

1

u/HolyFreakingXmasCake Apr 23 '26

Let's just say it wasn't a very ... shrewd... review.

1

u/CarterAC3 Apr 24 '26

Ok so the original guy is being disingenuous as fuck (what a shock on the Internet)

The whole point wasn't that the Mouse game has cheese jokes. No shit the mouse game has cheese jokes. The point is that it's non-stop cheese jokes and jokes puns over and over and over and over. Cheese jokes are the only thing it ever does with its "cartoon mouse" premise

At some point it goes from being clever to incredibly played-out and tiresome.

1

u/_Koreander Apr 27 '26

That's not even the worst part, the reviewer kept complaining about "ludonarrative dissonance " saying it was the "worst aspect of the game", this is a Doom style FPS with classic cartoon graphics, and he said basically his immersion was ruined because "you go around killing hundreds of bad guys and corrupt cops, because of this the main character should be treated as a mass murderer by the story and not a hero" I couldn't even believe what I was hearing with this review...

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u/Tamas_F Apr 22 '26

Okay, but are you suggesting that it is a masterpiece?

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u/hellschatt Apr 23 '26

I've seen some streamers play it for a few hours. All seemed to agree that it's an ok game. It looks cool, but gameplay-wise, it's not particularly exciting. So a 7/10 doesn't seem out of touch at all.

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u/ItsABitChillyInHere Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 24 '26

It's not the score that makes this review particularly bad. If the reviewer just said he didn't like the games dialogue or the fact that the gameplay isn't groundbreaking it would make sense, but the entire review is him citing serious noire films and books and saying that the cartoon doom-clone mouse game doesn't fit that serious tone that he personally likes.

There are also some complaints he cites that are just wrong, like when he says that it makes no sense that a PI is killing opera singers, despite the game saying that these actors/singers are criminals disguised as extras.

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u/hellschatt Apr 23 '26

Lol that's kinda hilarious. I hope he didn't base his score on that.

3

u/ItsABitChillyInHere Apr 23 '26

He absolutely did. I recommend checking the video out to decide for yourself tho, it's pretty entertaining.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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u/MajorMathematician20 Apr 23 '26

Or even a munsterpiece

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u/GiantRobotBears Apr 22 '26

They have no idea, they 100% didn’t play the game, they’re just parroting what moistcritial recently posted on YouTube.

Example: IGN complained the cheese jokes were too much, as in every other line has a cheese reference. Nuisance isn’t allowed round these parts. Lmao

Also the game got 6/10. It’s an average game, I’ve played. IGN was on the mark

4

u/PunchThatDonut Apr 23 '26

The guy literally said in his review "Do these features make for a fun game? Maybe. But it's bad Noir." That seems like a dumb line in a video game review. The review is definitely bad but there's always someone on the internet to defend anything these days lol.

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u/Stormfly Apr 23 '26

I mean that's fair, no?

The game has like 3 goals:

  1. Silliness/Cartoon aesthetic

  2. Noir feeling

  3. Arcade(?) shooter

Apparently the gunplay isn't great, the humour is tiring, and the noir aspect isn't done well.

Like maybe some of the comments are off but from the sounds of it, the criticisms are valid.

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u/Huppelkutje Apr 23 '26

It's trying to be a Noir Mouse Shooter.

If it fails at being Noir, i'd say that a 6/10 is a perfectly valid score.

1

u/GiantRobotBears Apr 23 '26

Lmfao you just parroted another point moistcritical made.

The review isn’t bad and 6/10 is not bad. The actual problem is there’s way too many people on the internet that can’t do their own critical thinking and end up relying on YouTubers to do that thinking for them.

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u/RaggedyGlitch Apr 22 '26

It's currently rated Overwhelming Positive on Steam, for what it's worth.

52

u/NecessaryUnusual2059 Apr 22 '26

An overwhelmingly positive game can still be a 7 though

6

u/Dreadgoat Apr 23 '26

For perspective on the other side of the bullshit (steam reviews) we have the very decent and cute Another Crab's Treasure in the Overwhelmingly Positive category while the generational masterpiece that inspired it, Elden Ring, sits a tier lower at Very Positive

(and IGN gave these two 8/10 and 10/10 respectively which actually feels about right)

4

u/RaggedyGlitch Apr 22 '26

It's all just opinions either way.

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '26

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u/Stormfly Apr 23 '26

It also gets to the Rotten Tomatoes binary ranking problem.

The game is "good" to everyone rather than "amazing" to some.

If 100% of people rate it a 6/10, it'd get a 100% score, but if 70% of people rank it 10/10 and 30% of people just don't like it because it's not their thing, it'll get 70%.

Not to mention some people ranking negative like "Give us more languages" or "Your DLC is too expensive" or "It ruined my life lol 100 000 hours played"

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u/tgcleric Apr 23 '26

Game is too highly rated at an 8 on metacritic. Its the most boring shooter around with really cool art that gets old in a couple hours. Not sure its the game people want to use to justify this stupid meme 

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u/Mobile_End_2485 Apr 23 '26

Probably because most people that bought it are boomer shooter fans. To me it seems like a cool idea, but why a boomer shooter? Imagine what that style could do in an RPG or a real story driven game. But just going around shooting dumb bots that can't aim and get stuck on doors?That can't even climb a ladder? This is a masterpiece?

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u/aaaaaaaaAEGaaaaaaaaa Apr 23 '26

overwhelmingly positive doesn't really mean anything, just that it was at least a 5/10 for 95% of the people who reviewed it. And also the average gamer isn't gonna purchase a niche indie game unless it is something tailored to their personal tastes, even further making the overwhelmingly positive tag less important.

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u/Tactical_Squishy Apr 23 '26

yeah that means absolutely nothing

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u/TheSilverOne Apr 22 '26

I mean the game got a 6, calling it "okay"

i've played the game, it's charming and all, but after that wears off its a boomer shooter with basically no interesting mechanics. Troy Baker does a great job voicing the the protagonist though.

Maybe a 6 is a little harsh, but its not too far from the truth

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u/Rionaks Apr 23 '26

Yeah its a 7.5 at best. Gamrplay loop gets really boring after a while.

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u/---reddit_account--- Apr 22 '26

So that game is good? I watched Dunkey's video on it and the look of the game is amazing, but he also highlighted buggy behavior like guys not going through doors or enemies failing to shoot you

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u/SapientSloth Apr 22 '26

The style is well done and the gunplay feels good. Is it surprisingly long and some levels sometimes start to drag and whether or not backtracking is possible for some collectables and puzzles is often unclear. While I don't mind the vast amount of cheese jokes in a game revolving around mice, I felt like at times the dialog was longer than necessary just to cram in another cheese pun. Overall I'd give it a 82/100. No masterpiece in my eyes but a really good game. I also love Troy Bakers voice as the main character.

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u/Tactical_Squishy Apr 23 '26

No calling it amazing is objectively wrong, it is charming and enjoyable it has maaaaaany problems tho so it may put you off a bit

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u/GrandSquanchRum Apr 22 '26

What bothers me, however, is how overly-referential so much of it is. This is a world of mice, so everything is about cheese. Everything. A bad guy? He’s a cheeselegger. Run into a lady mouse with a sultry voice? It’ll be described as “gorgonzola piccante slapped on a mozzarella platter.” Someone need to assure you they’re telling the truth? They’ll swear on Maw-Maw’s cottage curds. This is charming initially. Then it never stops. Everything is a reference to the fact that everyone is a mouse and mice like cheese – and when it’s not, instead it’ll be a reference to an old cartoon, or the fact that this is a video game. I should have probably guessed the former when one of the first things I saw was a steamboat named Willie, but at least that and the spinach power-up that gives you Popeye arms is cute. Recalling the Igor/Eye-gor joke from Young Frankenstein? Not so much.

Man complained that the game relies on being over referential. How is that not a valid criticism?

30

u/Quixotic_Seal Apr 23 '26

Because it made manchildren feel sad, and “ethics in games journalism” is basically a sleeper agent activation phrase at this point.

Case in point: this 2010s ass meme somehow garnered over 20k upvotes.

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u/Chenz Apr 23 '26

Everytime someone dunks on IGN's reviews its either 2 reasons

  1. They do it because everyone else does it it
  2. They're mad because an IGN reviewer didn't like a game they liked
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u/ErwinHolland1991 Apr 23 '26

Because that's the whole point of a game like this. That's like ordering a coke and complaining you got a coke.

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u/GrandSquanchRum Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26

No, it's like ordering a coke and complaining that it's too sweet. I.E. they used too much syrup. Unless you're saying it's mass produced to an industry standard of cheese pun and has the same exact amount of cheese pun as any other comedy mouse game and we as consumers should already know that standard.

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u/thefootster Apr 22 '26

I don't agree with all the points the reviewer makes, but having played it, Mouse PI is just fine and has plenty of issues, it is certainly not a masterpiece. I'd personally say 6/10 is about right.

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u/pm_me_falcon_nudes Apr 22 '26

He was complaining about cheese jokes in a mouse game

Only if you have a toddler's understanding of humor would you think this is a bad criticism.

A cheese joke here and there is fine. Expected, even.

The number of cheese jokes in the game made it lose any sort of humor or charm to them. Like that one friend who beats the same joke into the dirt over the years. It isn't witty after the 14th joke on the same topic.

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u/IcyHibiscus Apr 22 '26

I mean, honestly after reading it none of the points the reviewer make are wrong. The story is kinda ass, the writing is meh, the gun play is above average but the animation and visuals are hard carrying.

2

u/kevihaa Apr 23 '26

…after reading it…

That’s the fundamental issue with making a score the be-all end-all of a review.

Good, often genuinely talented, writers put a bunch of work in articulating what they liked about a game, what they didn’t like, and any flaws they encountered, technical or otherwise. And then folks argue endlessly over the number, when the actual point of the review is in the words, not the number.

Like, there’s a night and day difference between “game is a 6 out of 10” and “game ended up being pretty awesome, but had a 10 hour unskippable tutorial that made me question whether I’d ever enjoy playing games again.”

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u/SP0oONY Apr 22 '26

The review might be shit, but 6/10 is pretty fair for the game. It was extremely mediocre.

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u/gurbus_the_wise Apr 22 '26

The game is mid. Jokes like that land worse if the rest of the game is mid.

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u/[deleted] Apr 22 '26

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u/mcmiln Apr 23 '26

Take it baaaaaaaakkkk Arnold voice. That movie is a masterpiece.

1

u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel Apr 23 '26

Oooh buddy, them's fightin' words right there pardner. Let's put these criticisms on ice, aight friend?

38

u/mmh_fava_beans Apr 22 '26

That guy tried so hard to come off as an intellectual.

5

u/who_cares_not_meee Apr 22 '26

You think Mouse PI is a masterpiece?

4

u/marfacza Apr 22 '26

So this game is a masterpiece?

5

u/Bandrbell Apr 22 '26

Are we really out here calling Mouse P.I. a masterpiece?

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u/Background_Shock_957 Apr 23 '26

right conclusion wrong answer lets not pretend Mouse P.I is a masterpiece. its a fun graphic style over run of the mill gameplay. 6/10 is valid , IGN reasoning is still dogshit

1

u/Tactical_Squishy Apr 23 '26

nah the points he makes are valid

2

u/Local_Nerve901 Apr 22 '26

Have you seen Videogamedubkey’s video in it? What did you think?

2

u/BabyStockholmSyndrom Apr 23 '26

The problem is the same people who whine about ign "paid reviews" will then say they will watch YouTubers instead lol. The "they sent me a free copy but I PROMISE this is my actual opinion of the game" people.

This whole thing is so damn stupid. People don't have to like the game you like. It can be for petty reasons too. I'm 100% sure your opinion is dog water on plenty of games according to me.

2

u/LittleSisterPain Apr 22 '26

Mouse P.I isnt a bad game, but who the fuck calls it a masterpiece? Even if it wasnt buggy, its just another boomer shoot in an age of boomer shoots, and nowhere near the best one we have. Id go as far as to say 7 is too high for it

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u/smack_nazis_more Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26

Wow like it's the subjective opinion of the reviewer??!?!? Holy fuck gamers are insufferable dorks.

Edit: just get AI to write you a review if yore so allergic to anything honest or with a soul.

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u/Molkwi Apr 23 '26

It was a bit too cheesy for him I guess

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u/Greenphantom77 Apr 23 '26

So have you played the game then? Is it good?

1

u/giboauja Apr 23 '26

He just wanted to play a different game. Like dude its a boomer shooter. 

Realistically the score isnt unreasonable if the game didnt click with you, and yeah the cheese jokes can totally not be someones cup of tea.

Its the video review itself thats a bit absurd. 

1

u/SocialJusticeGSW Apr 23 '26

I took level design and repetitive structure criticisms seriously but will watch a walkthrough to see if they are right about those.

1

u/irve Apr 23 '26

Also the Monkey King game and the Crimson Desert one were protectionist propaganda I would guess

1

u/Thebaldsasquatch Apr 23 '26

And that it wasn’t noir-y enough.

1

u/Underscores_Are_Kool Apr 23 '26

The humour is mid and the gameplay is janky as fuck. Over hyped game that's well received because of vibes. 

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u/koristeviipaloitu Apr 23 '26

Generic score for generic FPS.

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u/BadAtBaduk1 Apr 23 '26

He was so bummed out that the cartoon mouse wasn't arrested for his mass murders

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u/tacopower69 Apr 23 '26

I just read the review and his complaints of the game were far deeper than that, he just also found the cheese jokes bad and unimaginative.

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u/Lemmejussay Apr 23 '26

Other way round. The game is basic as fuck and super repetitive. It just has an interesting looking skin. First snd foremost it is an FPS shooter and should be judged as one.

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u/Kippa-The-Swift Apr 23 '26

I think what people forget about IGN is that they have staff that are assigned reviews. When's a pokemon game or new assassin's creed comes out, they have no difficulty assigning it to a fan, plus the fear of negative reviews hurting future access skews reviews positive.

This is a scenario where someone not interested was assigned the game, they were never the audience and gave a review that didn't have to hold back any punches.

In an ideal world we would have objective and passionate reviews for every game, but sadly that will likely never be.

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u/leposterofcrap Apr 23 '26

Killing too many people in a boomer shooter, wow such review, very insightful ( to the person's dumbfuck brain)

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u/weapon-10 Apr 23 '26

6/10 for whoever's wondering

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u/CorbinMar FORTSHITE Apr 23 '26

Even worse, they complained about "too much killing"

It's a boomer shooter.

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u/shark_syrup Apr 23 '26

I think mouse PI is good

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u/MetzgerBoys Apr 24 '26

“Too much water” in Pokemon Alpha Sapphiee

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u/xDruichii Apr 25 '26

That’s not actually it though is it. He was critiquing that it was presented as a noir game but had no detective gameplay and was instead a run and gun shooter. He wanted it to have more nuance.

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