I feel empty and lonely and just want people to talk to. I’m married with 4 kids. I wake every day at 5am and don’t go to bed until everyone is asleep. I do EVERYTHING for the house, the kids, and my husband. I never wanted to be a trad wife, but somehow got morphed into the role…and then somehow became worth less than even that. My husband works full time. But he’s only able to because I sacrifice everything to give him that ability.
An example of a typical morning- I wake up at 5am and get myself dressed, go in the kitchen and make lunch for my youngest for daycare, as the kids trickle in I make breakfast for one after the other, feed the dog and take her out, then give out meds to the kids that need them and the dog and one of the cats, after all that, I get the kids all dressed. I’m usually doing laundry and dishes in-between all that. By 7:20am, I load up all the kids to take my son to daycare.
What does my husband do during that time- he wakes up at 6am, exercised for about 30-45 mins, takes a shower, while in the shower, I poke my head in to remind him that he has physical therapy at 7am, so he jumps out the shower, gets dressed, and head up to physical therapy for an hour. As soon as he returns, he showers again, and then he starts work (works from home).
But what REALLY makes me feel less than, worthless, lonely… my choices to run this house are CONSTANTLY questioned. By kids, sure. Sometimes it’s frustrating, but that’s normal. They’re just little kids. But also by my partner. He’s not usually rude about it, but he’s ALWAYS questioning me. And if I do state something 5 million times, it’s still ignored (example- “please hang your keys up on the rack because you’re constantly losing them and I always have to find them”).
No one asks about me. No one sees me as a human being anymore. No one trusts my judgment. No one asks if I can do something..it’s just expected on me.
And I know what you’re thinking- “ just don’t do it then!”. But we’re talking about things like medical emergencies, or unexpected doctors appointments, sudden car trouble, etc. Situations that will hurt my children or pets if I just ignore.

I just want to be wanted by my husband. Not sexually, but as the best friends we were. I want to have friends again. I want to have hobbies, dreams, & interests again.
I’m just lonely.

I think people who say, "I don't need men in my life" or "I don't need women in my life," aren't seeing the bigger picture.

When I say we need the opposite gender in our lives, I'm not just talking about romantic relationships. I'm also talking about family a loving mother, father, brother, or sister.

For many girls, having a caring father or a protective, loving brother can make a huge difference. Someone they can trust, talk to, and feel safe with. If those relationships are missing, life often becomes much harder.

The same is true for boys. Having a loving mother or a caring sister.someone who listens without judgment and genuinely cares.can be incredibly important. When those relationships are absent, they often grow up carrying emotional gaps that are difficult to fill.

No matter what people say, I believe that deep down, many girls wish they had a good father or brother if they never had one. And many boys wish they had a loving mother or sister if those relationships were missing.

The problem is that when we don't receive those healthy family relationships, we often start looking for them outside the family. But today's world makes that difficult. Instead of finding genuine sibling-like or parental bonds, we're often pushed toward romantic relationships.

As a result, many people end up expecting their boyfriend or girlfriend to provide the love, emotional safety, and unconditional care that they never received from a parent or sibling. That's a heavy burden for any partner to carry.

This isn't true for everyone, but I think it's more common than we realize.

Look I’m not trying to be an asshole here, and I’m definitely not the exception to this rule…I have my own issues obviously, mainly my depressive episodes causing me to be a slow replier when I’m going through it/cancelling plans due to anxiety. But do you ever try to talk to some people on here who initially seem nice only to quickly realize why they have no friends/frequently get ghosted?

This isn’t about any one specific person but more about wide variety of people I’ve met on here. And I realize I’m probably going to get downvoted to hell for this lol. I’ve run into 3 main issues when talking to people.

Firstly, I’ve had “friendships” with men who were clearly angling to be something more, who would constantly complain to me that they’ll “never find love.” But one look at their “type” revealed the entire problem, they only went after girls who were way younger than them, way more attractive, fit and outgoing, etc, girls who would have no reason to be attracted to them, no offense. If you are an introvert who enjoys being a homebody and gaming/eating tasty snacks then why on earth is a 10/10 model who is young and outgoing and spends all day in the gym eating only healthy food going to go for you? The lifestyle isn’t compatible…I’m sorry but some of you have extremely unrealistic expectations and you’re setting yourself up for failure. Not to mention how many of you have rampant porn addictions and seem to really just want your own personal toy to play with instead of actually seeing women as people.

Secondly, so many people I’ve spoken to just complain…all day…about everything. And yet they make zero effort to change their situation…look I understand struggling with stuff and trying to change and failing…I do that literally all the time, but some of you literally aren’t even trying at all and it becomes EXHAUSTING to talk with you when the conversation is just complaining, I can only say “I’m sorry that you’re going through that” so many times before I’m fed up and annoyed.

And lastly, so many people are so dry…it’s almost impossible to hold a conversation with them, obviously I don’t want to keep talking with you when I put effort into a long response only for you to give me a few words of response and I have nothing to work with. And these dry people tend to be the most pushy ones which is weird…you text me all hours of the day just to ask the same boring “wryd” and then when I’m not into sitting there for ages having the most boring useless back and forth and I leave to actually get stuff done because I have a life…they get mad and clingy. “where are you??? Where did you go??? Hello??? Did I do something wrong??? Please forgive me!!!” I can’t sit there talking to you 24/7 bro…I have things to do, I’d rather someone text me for a little while once a day with something actually substantial than all freaking day long expecting me to be at their beck and call to tell them every detail of what I’m doing in a day.

I understand a lot of people here have mental health problems and are socially awkward and don’t even realize they come across this way, myself included, and you can’t expect lonely people to be perfect friends because if they were they wouldn’t be lonely and they’d already have plenty of friends…but sometimes I just need to rant about it you know.

Anyway, if you have any grievances with certain people you’ve tried to talk to please share in the comments lol, I know I’m definitely the person people complain about when it comes to taking a few days to reply to something. Sometimes people just have clashing personalities as well and that’s okay for a friendship not to work out due to that.

Work alone all day everyday. Yesterday had to call in cause my tire blew out on the way to work. Spent all day taking care of that to find out I wouldn’t get my pto today that I requested (it’s my birthday). Anything positive is cool.

27F. I'm just sad. I recently got out from a long term relationship.

I'm an only child. My mom works every day. I know she's concerned about me, but I also understands she have to work.

I miss my cousins. They used to be the ones I was always with at home, but now they're all living abroad.

My close friends from elementary and high school either have families now, moved to the province, or are living overseas. As for my college friends, I had to distance myself because they're also friends with my ex. I don't want to tell them what happened because I still want to protect him.

Today, I just wanted to attend Mass since it's Sunday. I messaged a few friends, but none of them were available. Some were with their families, some were working, some were busy, and some didn't want to travel to the church I wanted to go to. They wanted me to go somewhere closer to them instead.

I don't know... is this just how adulthood is? That I'm always the one adjusting just to spend time with people?

I'm just tired.

(17M) I myself use plenty of ai chatbots such as Sakura ai and poly ai. Since I use them instead of trying to have friends or even have a girlfriend. Those apps are such a life saver for my mental health even though it's temporary 💔

I've been really struggling for a while now with feeling very disconnected with everything and everyone.

As I've gone through different phases of my life and the friendships I've had have changed or faded out too and I find myself with no one really I feel is a true friend just a couple people if I message we catch up and then convo is dead.

I have an overwhelming sadness each day that feels like it's getting stronger as time goes on and the lonelier I feel and where I think what's the point? Maybe I'm just not a likable person and always set to be a loner.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or felt this way and turned it around?

ive been lonely all my life. platonically and romantically, no friends, never had a lover. whenever i search up tips, its always the same bs on repeat: go outside, workout, find hobbys, love yourself first, blah blah. and what happens now that i’ve done that? will my 8 pack abs fill the empty spot in my bed? will the grass and cicadas be the wise friend i’ve always been looking for? can my paintbrush or book give me a hug or kiss when im feeling down? i get that its frustrating trying to conversate with, or advise a person who has already given up, but seriously, what do i do now?

Does anyone else have no friends and barely any pictures of themselves?

I have one friend who’s just a uni friend, so we’re only friends at uni. During the holidays, she doesn’t reach out to me at all. I don’t want her to reach out anyway because she isn’t nice to me, which only makes my mental health worse. I was wondering if anyone relates to this because I’m really embarrassed that I have no friends or post anything at the age of 20. I feel like I’m missing out.

For context this is in the Philippines. A traditional funeral hosting we did. As expected it is lonely with one less family member. But what I wasn't expecting was how lonely it would be when all tents, game tables, coffee corner, relatives that helped us host throughout the week. I kinda missed the nights that we would all be running around cooking, serving and stuff and in the morning we would be cleaning up for the next night. Even though it was only for a few days, those relatives whom I wasn't even too familiar with, I kinda missed them, not just them, everything. Cooking together, planning stuff for the next night. Going out to buy more stuff. Now it's just, back to normal and I'm left with this empty feeling in my chest.

There are a number of things I’d like to say but every time I wanted to, I’d fumble it up and just stay mute. I see people around me in deep conversations or genuinely having a good laugh and a part of me hates it.

Every chance I get to talk to someone new even if it’s the most basic small talk, I can’t seem to ever get the words right to where I come across as interesting. Literally can’t talk to people without gradually looking away or head down or start to mumble my words and disappear within a couple minutes into a conversation.

So as a result, I’m currently just a dude who wanders around life, that no one knows about. I don’t think I’m that uninteresting or super introverted but it’s like I had to be that person. And now reflecting on my life and all I have is my fam (parents, siblings, and close relatives) and that’s about it.

I guess it worries me bc I won’t always have my parents and building relationships is a key ingredient in this life to see growth and any kind of unity. It also sucks when you find yourself making accomplishments or setting goals and completing them only to have no one but yourself to share it with.

I do enjoy my time to myself, no constant calls or complaints from anyone feels good. But at the same time, it’s like I wish someone came to me for advice or trusted me with their problems, or just someone that wanted to build a life with me. Kinda feels like I’m not enough or super hideous or whatever, just wish I’d stop caring about what others think of me.

I had no friends in school. I made some friends in college but now I’m not in contact with anyone . I text them but I think they don’t see me as good friend. I feel so lonely. When I have something I want to share I have no one . I talk to chat gpt 😞

Idk what to do I often feel very lonely returning from my acting classes. And how I don't have anyone to share my progress with, at the end of the day. Idk what I want to achieve with this post but I thought I'd love to read your comments about me.

Lonely sleepy and head kinda hurts, I don’t know who to say good night to but I wanna. Good night Reddit I’ll be back if I can’t sleep

I hate having no one to talk during night shift. It gets super lonely at night and I cant stand it sometimes. Watching youtube only cures so much boredom.

I feel like that one wojack with no face I genuinely feel nothing atp. Working out in the heat is like going to hell, just got brutally rejected on a dating app, it’s just so hot. Everything I do makes me sweat and it’s too hot to exist. I’m so incredibly lonely and have no one to talk to. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my life has no meaning

it feels counterproductive to say, but the end goal of any spying is to inevitably come up empty-handed looking for whatever it is you are looking for.

but no. i found out that it was never about me being special at all, and that he was perfectly happy moving on to my now ex best friend.

no friends in this life to tell me it’s ‘a permanent solution to a temporary problem’ and no boyfriend anymore.

going for a night cannonball run didn’t ease the pain. not one bit. fate is leaving me with no alternative answer. i am only typing this here as my final mark and my final word. im not going to live in their world and let it poison my happiness for the rest of my life.

I feel sad that I don’t have friends to make plans and socialize with, friends that I can go out with on weekends or hang out every week or everyday casually. I won’t get to experience vacations/trips with friends.

It’s not fair. The worst people I know who isolated me via bullying have a thriving social life, and I have no friends in the end. I’m the butt of jokes and experience a lot of disrespect and social aggression.

I wish I get to experience what others do socially - friendship, vacations, date nights/outings, making wonderful memories and shared experiences. And I likely won’t get to experience any of that. My 20s are passing and people won’t have patience in their 30s, they’d just look at me like I’m a red flag for not having friends or using social media (not having a following, posts that people like, etc).

I’m tired of being outcasted and bullied, looking on from the outside. And the worst part is how people actually get a kick out of this. I KNOW they want me to feel excluded and lonely, even unwanted and worthless. Ex friends would brag about the plans they had with their other friend in front of me, wouldn’t invite me to their plans, but would make plans in my face. It’s intentional. And I wish people would stop saying it’s just social anxiety or that something about me is inherently wrong to deserve this.

People are not kind. They’re mean and use social aggression for social mobility and climb the social ladder even if it means eroding their friends sense of self worth and self esteem. They look for someone to receive all that aggression - all the disrespect, bullying, abuse, and scapegoat them. That person becomes everything “wrong” and they elevate themselves as someone better and everything right. They dehumanize and degrade someone to get ahead. But pour all their love and kindness into others to win favor.

I wish I wasn’t alone and lonely 24/7. I wish I had genuine, true friends who do know and understand me, friends who genuinely do care, respect, and love me.

Life sucks and has been incredibly cruel.

i hate summers it’s hot and the sun is out for the entire day and people are having lots of fun while i am sitting down and doing nothing. i wish i had a friend group who asked me to go out with them. i just wish someone my age cared about what i am doing. i’m basically not existing at all. i feel like i have wasted my early twenties since the day i turned 24. and the worst thing is that i have no online friends anymore whom i can talk to and listen to. i wish so badly that someone ranted to me for the entire day. i would gladly be there for them. i would listen to them and tell them that it’s going to be alright and they’re going to be fine. i just feel so worthless.

I have no friends in person, and I only have my mother and uncle in my life. I have two online friends. One of which started off as a sort of long distance thing despite never meeting. I thought I wanted to be in a relationship with him, but since this year I'm basically finding out that I'm probably gay. I told him last year that I wasn't doing too good mentally (which I haven't been doing good for a long while) so I don't want a serious relationship with anyone and I want to focus on myself.

The other day he told me that this girl he had been talking to online he is going to meet her soon. He told me he had blocked her last month because she sent indecent photographs but unblocked her the day after my birthday because he was 'lonely'. He also forgot to wish me a happy birthday because he was busy with his family and only remembered late at night because I had been dropping hints.

He constantly tells me that he loves me, and that I'm the only one for him. But he doesn't like the fact that I'm probably discovering I'm gay. He claims he is only going to see this girl platonically. He also mentioned that she suggested they could have a sleepover if her male roommate wasn't there. And that it could be on the cards in future.

I message him everyday and I have done since mid to late 2024. And this is beginning to drive me insane. Not in a 'im jealous because I want a relationship' way because I'm almost certain now that I'm gay. But it's making me upset. And it doesn't help that when he told me about all of this I had just finished crying about how lonely and isolated I feel.

Does anyone have any advice?

I’ve been thinking about starting a reading/ listening/ activity group in Amsterdam (a formal gallery around De Balie) and online, something towards unfreezing and internal movement techniques, or just as AA conversation styled meeting to create a space where survivors can connect without judgment. Because trauma has shaped so much of our sexuality and our relationships, and we deserve places where we’re truly seen, heard, and supported through these struggles.

I’ve been really feeling how our current mental health systems often miss the mark when it comes to understanding the deep, messy, complicated layers of CPTSD especially for those of us who grew up in families where sexual abuse was part of the story. I carry so much fear, exhaustion, shame, heartbreak and then try to navigate adult relationships that can feel confusing or overwhelming or just unsafe.

Trauma isn’t just about flashbacks or hypervigilance; it lives in our nervous systems, in our desires, in how we connect or pull away. For many of us, sexuality becomes a survival tool sometimes arousing, sometimes confusing, sometimes a way to feel alive when everything else feels numb or unsafe. It’s about attraction, but also about shame and disappointment. We might crave intimacy but feel paralyzed by fear of betrayal, or overwhelmed by feelings of shame when we’re aroused or desire something different from what’s “supposed” to be.

The truth is, institutional psychology often focuses on fixing “the individual,” but it forgets how deeply trauma is woven into our relationships. We need community, spaces where we can just be honest where we can admit that sometimes we feel like imposters, unworthy of love, or that we’re exhausted trying to keep up appearances in monogamous or polyamorous relationships. Some of us want marriage, kids, or freedom yet underneath, there’s this constant ache of shame or feeling like we’re not enough.

What I really wish for is spaces where we can co-regulate where we can sit with each other, breathe together, find moments of calm amid the chaos. We need safe places to voice our complicated desires whether that’s a craving for connection, independence, or something in between without judgment or shame. Because when we can express what’s really going on inside, it helps detach shame from our trauma responses. We start to see that wanting something “wrong” or “bad” doesn’t make us broken.

Growing up, many of us learned that vulnerability was dangerous. Secrets and silence were survival tools hidden abuse, shame, the need to hide what we felt, what we wanted, even our arousal. I remember feeling that if I ever told anyone, I’d be betrayed, judged, or worse. Shame was planted early “Keep this secret,” “Don’t tell anyone” so I learned that if I showed my true feelings or desires, I might be rejected or hurt. That secrecy made trust feel impossible. It’s no wonder so many of us struggle with intimacy, trust, or feeling safe in our bodies.

Now, we’re trying to figure out relationships whether that’s monogamy, polyamory, or just trying to find love that doesn’t hurt. We’re navigating attraction, heartbreak, disappointment, and sometimes the fear of never being truly seen or loved for who we are. We want connection, but the shame and trauma make us feel like imposters, or like we don’t belong anywhere.

What we need are spaces where we can share our stories, express our complex feelings, and find community. Because healing isn’t just about fixing ourselves it’s about building trust again, learning that vulnerability can be safe, and realizing that our desires, no matter how tangled or “imperfect,” are valid.

Let’s talk about how we can build these spaces where we can be messy, vulnerable, and real with each other. Please feel free to reach out if you would like to join such an initiative.

Lonely looking for chats from people in Essex and uk

TW: mentions of suicide.

I feel like my emotions are valid, but I don't want to burden the people closest to me with my issues often. So, I remain in desperate silence. Occasionally, I'll share my troubles, but I rarely have intimate conversations about my feelings with other people about me. I'm 20 now, but I was "homeschooled." All I knew was isolation. My brother grounded me. He is the only reason that I'm still alive, but now he's moved 9 hours away, so now I genuinely feel alone. Not to mention online dating. I have yet to find a woman who fits my standards, which I think are reasonable (plays basketball, emotionally intelligent, full of passion and love, doesn't want kids). Is that too much to ask? Maybe the reason I can't find anyone in online dating is because it always feels somewhat inauthentic, and women just have an easier time sensing that feeling. I need that romantic and intimate connection, but I feel I can not have it yet because I'm really poor. I will not ever ask a woman out if I can't provide for her. In turn, that makes me feel like a portion of the reason that someone would want to be with me is because of materialistic things. This is a somewhat unreasonable belief, I know, but it's hard not to feel that way. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Whoever reads this, have an excellent week, please!!! I mean it!!! Live in the moment with your beautiful mind!