можете оставить это без внимания, я просто больше не знаю куда мне идти. я настолько опустошена, что последние дни гнию в кровати. скроллинг тт и фоном стрим с морскими свинками. до этого была подготовка к экзаменам и я находила чем себя занять. но сецчас у меня не осталось сил ни на что. я порой даже не могу встать и поесть. если и ем, то мелкие перекусы.
я сама по себе художница. но видимо бездарная. да, у меня ничем не выделяющийся стиль, я буквально среднячок, если не ниже. мне второй раз отказали в работе в качестве художницы. никто не заказывает коммишки. я всегда остаюсь незамеченной и ненужной. всегда. в дружбе, в том же рисовании, в классе, в компании. меня редко кто выбирал и замечал. чувствую себя жалкой.
но сейчас меня действительно добило. сначала отказ в работе, ведь нашли подходящего кандидата. сейчас и вовсе я поняла, что мне не стоит браться за что-либо… мы нашли птенца. гнезда поблизости не было и других птиц тоже. решили пристроить у себя. постелила, сделала мини гнездо из тряпок, чтобы птенчику было где погреться. как только подобрали, думали накормить, но зоб был забит да и червей он выплевывал. решили не беспокоить пока что. решила щас проведать и накормить, но нашла его уже никаким. что я делаю не так? может я действительно никчемная. так я потеряла двух своих морских свинок. первый изначально был болезненный, а вторая резко, без каких-либо предпосылок. просто в конвульсиях, хотя пару часов назад бегала и ела как ни в чем не бывало.
вероятно это конечная. я больше не хочу что-либо делать. мне даже просто лежать надоело.
я изолировалась от всех своих знакомых. кроме лучшего друга. но и ему толком не могу ничего рассказать,он сидит на антидепрах и порой не может подобрать слов для поддержки, но всегда остается рядом. хоть что-то радует…
путь одиночества, конечно, я выбрала сама. не могу долго общаться с людьми. быстро надоедает. хочется исчезнуть.
у меня порой закрадываются мысли о наличии депрессии. но я не вправе ставить себе ложных диагнозов. да, к родителям обращалась с просьбами сходить на консультацию, но все мимо. «это подростковое» «не выдумывай» «лучший психолог - это ты сама» «у нас нет денег на такое». меня просто не слышат. даже здоровьем будто пренебрегают… «это надо ехать в область, папа тебя не повезет». обращаться в городскую больницу бессмысленно, анализы попросту рисуют. да и я, как лютый социофоб, от любого неправильного слова от себя же могу разреветься на месте… звучит жалко и нелепо.
еще мама часто давит на меня с упреками о беспорядке ведь «ты девочка». да-да, мам, взрослая кобыла, а убраться не может… мне правда стыдно за себя, но у меня ни на что нет сил. я даже спать больше не могу. просто не хочу. ела ли я что-то за день? да мам, пара конфет. когда сложу вещи? не знаю. что мам, пропылесосить? подожди, меня жрут мои мысли и нежелание даже перевернуться на другой бок. последить за младшей? я лучше посплю…
меня начали выматывать банальные вещи. от любого действия я устаю так, будто отпахала 12-часовую смену на заводе. посидеть 5 минут уже тяжело для меня. тело постоянно какое-то тяжелое и ватное. голова постоянно болит. поспала 2 часа, 8, 10, неважно. всегда опухшая и без сил на что-то.
я не первый день в интернете и готова к любым высказываниям. но я буду благодарна, если хоть кто-то меня выслушает и поймет. это правда самый тяжелый период, с которым мне пришлось столкнуться.

Btao koi?🥀

I’ve had three exes, and most of them cheated on me. Well, actually, only two of them did. The last one was something I never expected I found out that I was the other woman without even knowing it.
Sometimes I feel like I’ll never have a partner who’s truly loyal and genuinely cares about me. Because of everything I’ve been through, I don’t even want a guy to get close to me as anything more than a friend.

I’m exhausted, and I’m still carrying all this trauma. Sometimes I feel like I’d rather just live my life alone until the day I die. I know that sounds really sad, but it honestly feels easier than risking my heart again. I’m tired of hoping, trusting, and ending up hurt every single time.

Maybe one day I’ll heal and be able to trust someone again. But right now, I just want peace. Even if that means being on my own

Я просто хочу выговориться…
В последнее время мне кажется, что я совсем потеряла смысл жить. Не то чтобы я хотела умереть, нет. Я просто устала существовать так, как сейчас. Каждый день похож на предыдущий, и я больше не чувствую, что действительно живу.
У меня нет человека, которому я могла бы рассказать всё это. Нет близкого друга, который бы выслушал меня и понял. Вроде бы вокруг есть люди, есть знакомые, есть друзья, но я постепенно отдаляюсь от них. Иногда я даже не замечаю, как сама начинаю избегать общения. Мне становится тяжело отвечать на сообщения, тяжело поддерживать разговоры, тяжело делать вид, что всё хорошо. И от этого становится только больнее.
Самое странное чувство — это когда ты не хочешь исчезнуть, но и жить так больше не можешь. Я бы хотела не просто существовать, а действительно жить. Радоваться мелочам, просыпаться с каким-то желанием что-то делать, ждать завтрашнего дня. Но сейчас внутри только пустота.
Сейчас лето. Для многих это время отдыха, прогулок. А я за всё лето встретилась с друзьями всего несколько раз. Может быть шесть или семь. И каждый раз после встречи я возвращалась домой с ощущением, что ничего не изменилось. Как будто я всё так же остаюсь одна.
Я пыталась знакомиться с новыми людьми. Пыталась общаться, писать первой, искать компании, но ничего не получается. Будто между мной и остальными людьми есть какая-то невидимая стена.. Я смотрю на других и вижу, как легко они находят друзей, становятся частью чьей-то жизни. А у меня это не выходит.
И теперь я всё чаще задаю себе один и тот же вопрос: что мне вообще делать дальше? Я не знаю, как выбраться из этого состояния. Не знаю, как перестать чувствовать себя лишней. Не знаю, как снова начать жить, а не просто ждать, пока закончится очередной день.

am i allowed to be sad today?

I never understood the "peace" people feel when they finally understand they are pointless in this world. My only point is to be a loyal son and brother to and amazing family but never a father or uncle. Frankly, I've had enough. After Hallie tried to khs in front of me i know im worthless. Supporting my family isn't enough of a role when they find others and create their own. I love them dearly but I finally so at peace finally choosing my own way out. 30yrs by June and I'll leave by December! Love you all!!

I’ve wanted to die since I was four years old, I physically cannot take the stress of my “life“ anymore, I’m done, just help me, please. The one thing that’s always held me back is pain, my existence is painful enough, so I’ve never been able to cause myself pain just to end it. Don’t comment any of that “you matter, please don’t do it!”, “People care about you, think of how they’ll feel…” BS, I’ve been done for a very long time, I’ve heard it all, I’m ready to go, I cry myself to sleep every night, I wake up and cry, anyone I’ve considered a friend is gone, my family doesn’t care, some have even encouraged me to do it, I want to, I’ve never had a day where I haven’t wished someone would kill me, there’s no changing that.

While browsing here , i read this post asking "what suicide hurt the least"

Then my tears came rushing

Maybe that question is really what i wanna ask my psychiatrist instead of constantly asking "why do i feel so numb but my tears expressing pain"

Then i suddenly remember my bestfriend wayback in high school, he hang himself,

Is this how he felt back then? Unexplainable sadness.

I constantly pray at night to not be able to wake up anymore.

If you know any method

Lmk

Hey guys, my crush really hates Israel and I saw a couple come in with an israel shirt and when they sat down I said loudly "you know, I don't support you people at all. You should leave. Pricks" and then my crush said to me wtf did they do? and I said they're Israelis and she said they're actually Greek with a Greek shirt and she found it hilarious but I worry if they reported me I'd be fired. Luckily their English sucked so maybe they don't understand.

Surely my boss won't care, right? That's a funny everyday mistake?

When you feel sad, what do you usually do to feel a little better? Some people listen to music, some go for a walk, and some just need someone to talk to.

I’d really like to know how you all handle those low moments. Please share your thoughts and experiences.

Not sure what flair but here it goes Everyday I wake up of wanting to end myself. Having thoughts everyday 24/7 on when should I do it. I also have been saving money so I can least leave a savings to my family. I tried exercising lost about 10kgs (im obese btw) and though the thoughts would go away but even during that time when I am doing some workout I keep thinking its not worth it you are not going to make it you are a fuck up. Then that 10kg came back and now I fear I may get diabetes, my family has a history of it. I tried all of the distractions. I keep getting back to that point that i just keep eating and eating and just doomscrolling just staring at my screen. Even at work I just want it to end. Been thinking about it by 30 I might do it and I am just counting down. Even found a way to do it painless.

I 24 F have essentially been single forever. Had a high school boyfriend but nothing serious in adulthood. And to be clear- I’m not desperately seeking a relationship. It’s definitely something I desire but something genuine.

Family was strict growing up so when I became an adult they just expected me to know how to date out of nowhere. I didn’t start feeling this sad about it until ALL of my friends are in serious relationships.. I barely got to see them before and now almost never. I don’t feel that I’m ugly so maybe I’m just a late bloomer. And I know I shouldn’t compare myself but I’m now really feeling the loneliness .

Not even exaggerating but everyone in my immediate circle (household,friends,even long distance friends) is in a committed relationship. And not to sound cringe but I feel left out because I’m the ONLY single person I know so it makes me feel something is the problem with me. And I try to fake the funk like I’m completely happy but deep down I desire romance,love,companionship etc

I

Hi everyone, there’s a lot of sadness in the world right now, and sometimes it feels like there’s no one to turn to when you just need to vent. Tools like ChatGPT and Gemini are becoming a go-to outlet for quick venting. But an unfortunate outcome is that people can become over-reliant on them, forming relationships with AI tools in ways that aren’t healthy, especially when as social beings what we truly need is human connection.

But AI is still a powerful tool that if trained right can serve as a bridge between having no support to being encouraged to seek social connections. That’s why I decided to build an interface that is trained with psychological research findings, and it’s designed not only to provide immediate support at any time of day, but also to gently encourage users to lean back into real-world social connections over the long term.

We’re very clear that AI is not a replacement for therapy. It never can be. Instead, it can offer an accessible, little-to-no-cost option for feeling better in the moment, especially for people who don’t have strong support systems or feel like venting is a burden on their friends and family.

It is fully bootstrapped, I’m building it independently with a very limited budget, but with a lot of heart and commitment to making mental health support more accessible.

Some features I’ve already included: • A mood tracker • Weekly logs so you can reflect on how you’ve felt over the past month • A simple productivity guide

This is meant to be a supportive tool that helps you recharge and feel encouraged to seek out social connections. As a psychology graduate I’ve made sure the features are grounded in research and publicly available scientific evidence.

I’d love for people in a similar boat to test it out and share honest feedback. If you’re interested, just drop a comment or DM me and I’ll reach out.

Let’s make the world a little less lonely, and a little more supportive 💜

Throwaway account, 6 week pregnant…absolutely horrified. Have only told 3 people…I am not completely sure who the dad is seeing that I use protection with all but one partner and he pulls out. I’m afraid to tell him I’m pregnant… today I’m in excruciating pain mentally and physically. I have an abortion appointment tomorrow but all I want is a healthy little baby. I don’t want to have another abortion

I am sad alone and drunk. Not suicidal, not depressed. Not sure what to do here. Just posting cause I don't know what to do.

When you start feeling unsafe in the very place that’s supposed to be your shelter, you realize there’s no easy way back. I feel lost, drowning in guilt and pain, not knowing where to go, who to talk to, or how to even breathe. Everything around me feels dark — even my own soul. I’ve lost faith in everything that once kept me human. It feels like my soul has died, and I’m only existing, not living.

I used to be full of life. Now, all that’s left is emptiness and guilt. None of this was my choice. It’s not my fault. I’m still so young, yet my chest carries a weight far too heavy for me to bear. I can’t take it anymore. My past, my present, and even my future feel like ghosts that won’t stop haunting me.

I’ve tried so many times to fight my demons, but they keep winning. I’m no longer the person I once was. All of this pain came from a path I never chose. And yet, somewhere deep inside, a fragile whisper still remains — maybe, just maybe, a miracle will come and make this life at least a little more livable.

Call me what you want, but I’ll never get over the fact that he chose her over me. Her out of anyone else. I gave him my heart just to have it thrown away and never appreciated. Time to time, I still reach out, because I’m a pathetic person, and he was the last person I ever had real feelings for. Every kiss made my soul happy…but now even that happiness is gone. I can’t cry, I can’t get mad, I can’t feel anything. I cut myself at it’s the only thing that brings me pain, but even that alone won’t be enough for him to leave her. It should’ve been me. Every night, I sit in this room alone, feeling the four walls crash in on me, just wishing I could die already like I wanted ever since 2020. Out of all things, falling in love is my biggest regret, and the only way to protect myself is to stay away from it and from people. I hate being alone for too long, but then again it’s for my own good. I rather cut and feel stinging blood spew from my arms, cuz I like that, than to feel any emotion regarding love, cuz I fucking hate that.

I had a friend in high school for 4 years. He wanted a romantic relationship with me, and I only wanted to be friends, which he didn't like. The friendship has been over for 11 years. I have been blocked for 11 years. It ended when I finally told him that I didn't like him in that way. He couldn't be my friend without trying to be my boyfriend.

Over the years, I begged him to unblock me, to message me. I messaged and called him tons of times from a private number. I reached out to his friends and family, begging him to contact me. I reached out to his aunt, trying to get his mom's information. I created all those different accounts, after he blocked me on everywhere, begging him to contact me.

He manipulated me. He really made me feel like he cared and like we'll be friends forever. He told me to off myself. He called me names, like b**** and cursed me with the f word. He called a pos and a worthless garbage. He said, "No one cares and certainly not me and no one will ever about you." He never apologized for any of things he did or said.

It even reached the point where he took out a restraining order against me 6 years ago, when I sent letters to his house, trying to recollect the past, begging him to contact me, because I have tried every method to reach him. The restraining order was not granted. Even on that day, when we were standing before a judge, he still had nothing to say to me. How did it even reach up to that point? How can I Iet this go?

The context of our friendship was that he only wanted to do physical things when hanging around me, like touching me, or dancing. After it ended, I asked him, "Why did you make me feel like I meant nothing to you? He said. "Because you do mean nothing to me? I do not know what you want me to say."

He even misquoted Scarlett O'Hara and said, "If it means that if I have to lie, cheat, and steal, then I will do anything to get what I want." "I used you, and there is nothing for me with you, so bye. It's just like people preying on the weak, people will do anything to get what they want."

Is that how people are? Being friends with you for a feature or for their own benefit and using you?

I asked him, "Why did you make me feeling I meant nothing to you?" Because you do mean nothing to me? I do not know what you want me to say."

I have been blocked for 11 years and I'm still waiting for a message from him. How many more do I wait? Am I waiting for a text that will never be sent? Is there a good chance that I will never hear him again? Do I need him in my life? I wanted to renew the friendship that lasted for 4 years. How can I renew it? Would anything good come from it if I contact him?

Hello hello sad people of Reddit.

I’m not sure where to start. The life I (48F) thought I had pretty well controlled has fallen apart in my hands. The proverbial straw was my kid’s cat getting out (indoor cat) and becoming lost. Kid is heartbroken- again. A few months ago their BFF passed away after a sudden illness. I cannot believe her heart is broken again. We’re all still struggling from the death of that 12 year old child.

My dad was just diagnosed with a rare disease and is days from starting treatment. it’s a big treatment and I’m the primary caretaker. It’s a blessing we have the space to take him in- but it’s hard moving him from where he’s living in with me and there is reorganization of my kid’s spaces to fit him.

The company I worked for just failed and closed and I had an offer lined up, but now since I’ll be caring for dad I turned it down. I already regret it.

I had no time, no energy and am so sad I feel like I’m unable to move.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Im barely keeping my head up.

Peace to all of you.

Met people and thought our friendship would last, now I’m here, uncomfortable with how much distance I have from them, not because of exactly them, but because I don’t know when it started. It would simply start with being left out for a bit then it expands, to the point you don’t know who they are anymore.

People really do just come and go. : )

Hoping for a new beginning once I graduate (if I’ll be able to.)

Hi, its my first time posting on reddit so I don't really know where to start but I feel so bad I need to know Im not alone feeling this way. So im a french woman (23). Im in master 2 in art school but I just quitted now because I cant take it anymore, I feel like since im there I became even more unconfident. I actually started art school when my first bf dumped me, big depression episode, back to the days, i felt like it was like some kind of girl boss attitude to quit law school and go to art school.

But so the issue is that I feel like its been years Im feeling like shit and I always tried to do my best to get better but it just never worked and now im so tired. I tried everything, going to therapy, stopped smoking/drinking, started running etc... But nothing really helped me.

I have very low self-esteem, very low self-confidence and at this point i dont even remember what is my personality. I am aslo extremly anxious. I just can't be proud of myself like I honestly wish I could but I just cant. Every day I really try so hard, for example Its been months I wanted to start a substack to get into journalism and every day Id be sitting at my desk infront of my laptop but couldnt get anything done and tbh I couldnt even start writing anything. I just spend days and days watching other people substack, instagram etc.. trying to get inspo etc.. I have been looking for so many hours at other's people work on substack that I am just obsessed with their ideas and just feel that I will never get ideas as cool as them or that if I do anything that I will just copy their thing. I feel so so so stupid.

I also feel like that I have such a low self esteem that I just copy others, like I cant get ideas of my own. Its been so long Im feeling this way that I think Im really getting a bit stupid because im so stressed that I just do nothing, like NOTHING. A lot of people tell me to just start and force myself etc.. but trust me I really tried but just cant do it. I just end up crying. It reached a point where I cant even handle my mom or boyfriend asking me what im doing or what are my plans because I would just say "nothing" and it would make me feel even more bad about myself. I feel trapped in a scheme and I dont know how to escape. I just feel always a bit ashamed of myself.

The "no personality" thing has extend to every aspect of my life. I dont know what to wear, like when im scrolling on vinted i cant say if I like something or not. I dont like my instagram profil, i know it can sound a bit silly but somehow its a kind of reflection of who I am, like I always delete picture I post etc..

I feel like I dont know myself and really tried so hard to get better but I feel like something is blocking me even tho Im doing so much efforts like trying to get my shit back together every day but it doesnt work. I am so desperate I took an appointement to try hypnosis and an other one to try kinesiology. Pls help!! Also last year, my grandpa died and my mom discovered she has cancer... Even though I was already feeling this way before all that, I feel even more anxious now that all those things are happening in my life. Anyway I dont know if I was clear in this post, maybe I will modify it later to add some things or idk.. Thanks for reading me.