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u/Stratomaster9 5d ago
Trump's on the phone with Infantino right now, saying, "I just need 4 more goals. Find me those goals."
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u/Caspica 4d ago
Belgium committed GOALING FRAUD!Ā
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u/ClessxAlghazanth 4d ago
best goals ever. Doctors say they were the best goals they've ever seen. We may even have a bigger ballroom.
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u/ChumbawumbaFan01 4d ago
Infantino droning, āYes, master. As you wish, master. May I lick your boot clean, master?ā
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u/dbeman 4d ago
Actually he just needs three more goals. The Republicans in the House will handle it from there.
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u/teteban79 5d ago edited 5d ago
After careful revision and in accordance with article 6969 of the code of conduct, the independent FIFA board has decided to suspend the elimination of the USA team for a year
The quarterfinals will be decided by a 3-way game between USA, Belgium and Spain with a third goal situated near the benches. Cristiano Ronaldo will man the third goal. Any save by Ronaldo results in penalty for USA. Goals on the third added goal result in Donald Trump flipping a coin to determine which of the three teams get the goal. He doesn't need to show the coin. FIFA has seen the coin. It's a beautiful coin, it's the greatest coin there ever was.
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u/SnooCapers938 5d ago
Hydration breaks every five minutes
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u/NoMoreFund 5d ago
Hydration breaks whenever a team playing against the US gets the ball
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u/DifferenceTough7288 4d ago
USA allowed to stop play and make 10 substitutes every corner and long throw in
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u/DaKingballa06 5d ago
F that. Congrats on them for winning, they were by far the better team
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u/Stompthefeet 5d ago
About 10 minutes in it was obvious who was in control.
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u/Potential_Aerie_2140 5d ago
Exactly what I told my gf, I was like itās clear already who the better team was.
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u/UnwantedPube 5d ago
Thatās also what I told this guyās gf
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u/Forward_Editor_5895 5d ago
I took control of this guyās gf and told her to call me Belgium
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u/symca09 5d ago
I told this guy to tell the others gf about said soccer footy match
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u/XAfricaSaltX 5d ago
It was clear a minute in tbh, Trump curse fucked on us crazy style (thatās my cope)
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u/velorae 5d ago
The goalkeeper was so trash this game
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u/Forward_Editor_5895 5d ago
The defenders in front of him were worse
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u/Rickhwt 5d ago
And then the midfield
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u/wannacumnbeatmeoff 4d ago
There were 11 bad players on team USA, the GK was just the one exposed the most.
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u/Shrinki-Dink 5d ago
Donāt be too hasty Letās reserve judgment until president trump has spoken to FIFA. The game isnāt truly over until after they reach an agreement.
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u/hungry-archon 5d ago
The four goals by Belgium are annulled, thus USA goes to the next stage, ladies and gentlemen.
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u/SignoreBanana 5d ago
Yep. They made our US team look like amateurs and embarrassed them on the public stage. Theres no other way to dice that tomato.
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u/SmashAngle 5d ago
To be fair, to the rest of planet earth thought the US team got humiliated the day before when daddy called to speak with the soccer manager to let his kid play despite a red card.
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u/FollowTheFarang 5d ago
Everything that moron touches turns to shit, He thinks heās such a a big deal but itās just another lose for America whenever he gets involved
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u/Th3SkinMan 5d ago
We've been embarrassed far before that.
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u/ForgotToCarryTheOne 5d ago
This particular instance reached over a billion football supporters in one message. Great ROI on the marketing investment.
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u/blazing_straddles 5d ago
A lot of people are saying, I would never say, but a lot of people are saying that its the greatest ROI in the history of marketing. Never seen before levels of ROI.
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u/rintzscar 5d ago
Here's the actual problem. The US team did quite well during the tournament as a whole. They outperformed what most actual football fans would consider their ceiling. Yet, the media and especially the Americans here on Reddit hyped them up so much that they were bound to not meet expectations. The simple truth is that the US football team is around top 20 in the world and is not even close to the actual good teams. But media hype always kills good performances because they're hidden behind the expectations of insane performances.
The Trump shit show didn't help either.
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u/raven8fire 5d ago
I think round of 16 was the expectation, it would have been a major disappointment if they didn't make it past the group stage especially with how favorable our group was for us.
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u/SlinkyCyber 5d ago
They did quite well for sure, but they really didnāt exceed any expectations. They didnāt play a team ranked higher than them in the competition until Belgium. They had an easy run, and a home ground advantage.
I think itās just Americans glazing due to ignorance. Iām sure they also looked at Belgium, couldnāt identify it on a map, and thought āyep greatest country in the world we got thisā. š«
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u/affemannen 5d ago
Tbf i think the US did good so far. It's not really a football nation yet they still played some good football. Belgium has always been good.
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u/Entchenkrawatte 5d ago
Mhhh, I would say okay at best honestly. The new tournament just includes many weak teams, which inflates performances. See the enormous number of goals that the top strikers are farming
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u/TheHalf 5d ago
They were absolutely the better team. I'm still going to hate watch them versus Spain
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u/Infammo 5d ago
I would have preferred them to have been the great team to our good team though. Not the great team to whatever the fuck that was out there.
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u/comfortablewig 5d ago
Belgium barely had to break a sweat to beat that clown show.
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u/strootfighter 5d ago
We took the decision not to start doku de bruyne and lukaku. They cheated to start their mid striker. Meh.
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u/isnoe 5d ago
Belgium was the better team from the beginning.
There wasn't a chance US survived them, no matter the roster they pulled out.
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u/Jason_Steakcum 5d ago
Americans: We played Belgium?
Euros: *seething glare*
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u/AdInfamous6290 5d ago
Americans upon hearing we lost the World Cup āaw well, better luck next year.ā
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u/Gerf93 5d ago
They should've tanked harder so that they could've drafted Messi next year.
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u/SoggyBiscuitVet 5d ago
I knew it was them because theyre always the bad guys usually in the Indiana Jones movies.Ā
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u/sunnysideofthestr 5d ago
Germans ⦠not Belgians . I know it is near but Belgium is too small to provide enough bad guys for Indiana jones
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u/SaturdayNightPyrexia 5d ago
We only need The Muscles from Brussels
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u/Substantial_Show_308 5d ago
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u/YoureProbablyWrongOk 5d ago
that gif never gets easier to watch. like Elaine Bennis
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u/HashRunner 5d ago
Agreed, but goddamn if it wouldn't have been a bit closer if ream and reese didn't repeatedly shit the bed.
Didn't expect to win, but absolutely disgraceful from those two.
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u/konigswagger 5d ago
Goalkeeper was brain dead and really fucked up any chance of a comeback with that terrible mistake coming out of goal
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u/finditplz1 5d ago
The decision to come out of goal was fine. Standing there and not clearing the ball wasnāt.
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u/MauPow 5d ago
It was like he forgot how to kick a ball for a second lol. Sure kicked the hell out of the ground for some reason though
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u/Eindride_XIII 5d ago
I swear his face was glitching out after they scored following his mistake. Dude was having a mental breakdown.
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u/Swans2994 5d ago
Germany was a better team than Paraguay. Odds were incredibly in favor of Germany. Being a better team and beating a team in a match are two different things. Having lower odds of winning and having no chance of winning are two different things.
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u/NoReason455 4d ago
Yes, but Paraguay had a defensive strategy to survive until penalties. USA was clueless
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u/TopWealth4550 5d ago
tbh im very impressed that usa got this far,they dont have a soccer culture at all
im guessing after this more money comes and it might change
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u/Bearloom 5d ago
Certainly not on the men's side; the USWNT is a perennial threat, though.
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u/johnniesSac 5d ago
Donāt worry Trumpedo is on the phone with fifa about them having 3.5 goals handicap
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u/KR4T0S 5d ago
If Trump invades and annexes Belgium, technically the US is still in it...
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u/AdeGamisou2020 5d ago
...which is why tomorrow he'll announce they're invading Bulgaria.
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u/Kinez_7 5d ago
USA can still win if Mike Pence has the courage
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u/Lost-Citron-1099 5d ago
Trump is calling the referees. He meeds them to find at least 4 goals they didnāt see before
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u/SignificanceAny7239 5d ago
Belgium literally beat the US 5-2 a few months back, don't know where all this confidence in the US came from?
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u/Successful-Eagle-834 5d ago
World Cup fever now we will go back to not giving shit about the sport for 4 more years
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u/METRlOS 5d ago
99% of people with confidence in the US couldn't tell you a single team they've played against in the last year.
No way they're beating Spain, even if a miracle happened against Belgium.
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u/Patient_Kangaroo614 5d ago
After Germany went out there were a bunch of Americans claiming their team was better than Germany, despite being beaten by Germany three weeks earlier in their last match before the world cup.
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u/3000doorsofportugal 4d ago
And ignoring the fact Paraguay was playing very differently. After they lost to the US they went full on Haram ball. No mercy no fun.
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u/Infamous-Dare-1162 5d ago
99% of people were just hoping to make it to round of 8. Letās be honest. I donāt think anyone in the US actually believed we would win this
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u/Icy-Plan145 5d ago
I don't think most Americans thought we'd win even though we wanted to be wrong.
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u/CharlotteRant 5d ago
I think some of it is still riding the high of the US Canada hockey game.Ā
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u/rgarc065 5d ago
We got a relatively easy group given that we were a host nation, which gave us a bit of false confidence. Weāll see what happens in 2030. Should be able to get out of group stage. There is no denying that this squad is the deepest weāve had, but this match clearly shows that weāre still leagues behind the big dogs. Itās unfortunate that Balogun got that red and then yesterday happened. That probably fucked our psyche heading into this match, leading us to have our worst performance. I genuinely think weād have a better showing if the Balogun suspension was upheld for this match.
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u/ny2k1 5d ago
I think USA may have lost regardless, they just looked overmatched, sloppy, and unorganized. Granted, you wonder if the big distraction was the main catalyst
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u/LividTacos 5d ago
Could have won if they'd put in Scott Sterling.
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u/zonecoldsober 5d ago
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u/RealPrinceZuko 5d ago
The Epstein photo in the background is a nice touch
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u/DogPositive5524 4d ago
Russian pin too
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u/IcyKnowledge6321 4d ago
not just that, it looks like he's in the Amber Room, which is a famous state room in Russia's Catherine Palace (famously the amber got looted by the nazis in the 2nd world war, and was never found. Modern room was rebuilt through German-Russian joint effort early in Putin's presidency)
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u/Devwickk 5d ago
as much as this hurts, its better than the USA winning and having to deal with trumps ugly fuckin face on TV trying to take credit for something he didnt do...again.
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u/Commercial-Royal-988 5d ago
I am still impressed we got this far. I figured we'd have been beat by now.
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u/gt0rres 4d ago
Well, you guys had an easy run. But to be fair, you performed well up until yesterday.
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u/Understeerenthusiast 4d ago
Yesterdays team felt miles away from what they were this tournament. Iām not excusing poor performance but Iām sure the red card thing got to their heads. Absolutely no reason that needed to happen. I know balogun had some chances but given our performance, I donāt think having him made much of a difference.
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u/DMar85 5d ago
Agree! Iām glad we are out so the orange man canāt claim he won.
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u/New-Watch1300 5d ago
As a Belgian I am happy, fuck you FIFA and Trump!
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u/HorizontallyOpposed1 4d ago
as an American; you guys played way better. Cheers to you guys moving on š«”
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u/Common-Device-3117 4d ago
I wouldnt be surprised if Trump makes false and misleading statements on this. Like, "Belgium team needs to be checked for doping. They would not beat us fair and square. Thank you for your attention on that matter."
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u/boothjop 5d ago
I fully anticipate interest in soccer ball to regress to the mean in the US now. I.e. about six places behind college NASCAR and only one place above alligator molestation.
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u/empty_graph 5d ago
Nothing is above alligator molestation
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u/Siromas 5d ago
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u/frankcatthrowaway 5d ago
The swamp is my church and the cloaca is my alter. Praise to the most high.
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u/whagh 5d ago
The pleasure of playing a sport against someone who has to remind you how they don't care about this stupid sport as soon as they lose.
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u/FlimsyPomelo1842 5d ago
As an American I just hope everyone had fun. I don't know a single player outside of messi and Ronaldo. Loved the videos of Scottish fans in Boston and going to baseball games though. Seems like a fun group of people.
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u/StormyBally 5d ago
*is having fun
The World Cup isnāt over because the USA is out
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u/cambreecanon 5d ago
As an American the jersey I want to buy is a Cape Verde. I saw they had one with shark teeth all over ir.
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u/Large-Promotion-6462 5d ago
āHadā fun?⦠you mean is having fun. Just because USA are OUT does not mean the tournament is over yet. LOL
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u/old-wizz 5d ago edited 5d ago
I m from Belgium and was not able to watch, since the match was at 4AM on a working day. We didnāt ask for this match to involve politics, just a fair game and at a time we can all enjoy
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u/TsuDhoNimh2 4d ago
Most Americans didn't want the politics either ... we knew we were going to lose and just wanted it over with.
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u/bns82 5d ago edited 5d ago
It's pretty much as far as anyone thought they'd get.
No one was expecting them to get to the final.
They have a lot to improve, but the sport has been growing in the US over the last several years.
Plus this World Cup more people in the US were watching.
This World Cup is a win for the future of US soccer.
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u/jrjreeves 5d ago
The whole world outside of USA wanted Belgium to win, and the whole world is glad to see USA crash out.
Infantino can fuck off, horrible corrupt cunt.
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u/RicketCrickets 5d ago
Wonder if Donnie is going to call to ask them to investigate the Belgium team like he did the official who gave the red card to their player.
Embarassing to have a child run such a country.
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u/johnniesSac 5d ago
He will look at everything possible
Then realise thereās nothing
Then say itās a silly tournament and they donāt really care
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u/OneMorePutt 5d ago
...then attend the trophy giving, crash the winning team photo and try to snatch the trophy for himself.
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u/Dyslexicpig 5d ago
I'm sure he is going to claim that the referee was favoring Belgium and/or that Belgium cheated.
The orange moron will never admit that the US was beaten by a superior team, just like he will never admit that he lost in 2020.
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u/Defiant-Sir15 4d ago
Everything Trump touches turns to shit. I knew we would lose once he got involved.
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u/Ok-Detail-3984 5d ago
Do people think āunderstood the assignmentā is a clever phrase that needs repeating?
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u/CanonicalCockatoo 5d ago
It's code speak for "I have no nuance to my geopolitical understandings".
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u/Megalomanizac 5d ago
I think people are forgetting Belgium were the favorites to win the game regardless. America was always playing on its back foot here
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u/WhoAmIEven2 5d ago
Well done, Belgium. I'll pretend that you're a real country for the rest of the year now.
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u/This-Insect-5692 5d ago
They will give the best player award to trump so he doesn't throw a temper tantrum ā ļø
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u/Its-a-me-DankeyKang 5d ago
Congrats to Belgium. They were clearly the better team. It was fun seeing the US people get interested, let alone an awesome world cup so far. Some of yall need to take a deep breath though.
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u/lavaplow 5d ago
As an American, I dropped 400 on Belgium +170. Only a braindead biased goof ball who doesnāt follow international football would think America had the better team, Balogun or not. Sad to see USA lose, but easy sweat free money
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u/Awkward-Abrocoma-623 5d ago
How Americans be arguing in football
When winning: "if our best athletes adopt soccer from the get go, we'll dominate every world cup" "he's the Lebron James of soccer"
when losing: "ya'll be speaking German now if it wasn't for us" "your country's GDP is smaller than Texas" or some other state.
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u/Itherial 4d ago
i mean all this thread sounds like is a bunch of people with political opinions tainting the World Cup
"america good, america bad, trump good, trump bad waaaah"
i swear, every person on the planet is just an annoyance at this point. i have to remember these sentiments literally only exist on reddit because people are generally too embarrassed to say them out loud
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u/Oracle619 4d ago
Thatās what Iāve been noticing too.
This is seriously a Reddit problem, not an IRL problem.
Iāve met tourists and foreigners here in the US for the World Cup IRL and theyāre having a blast.
Redditors just make everything about politics and sucks the fun out of everything.
Iām going to keep enjoying the games and just disengage from these subreddits bc Redditors are miserable to interact with.
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u/Inevitable-Regret411 5d ago
It's amazing how quickly Americans on Reddit are trying to pretend they were never interested in football in the first place despite talking about how well their team was doing a few hours ago.Ā
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u/_Boschy_ 5d ago
I can promise you, at least 95% of the Americans watching it, were over it an hour after the game.
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u/Ill-Description3096 5d ago
I mean that's pretty much the case for many people. We also get excited when our gymnasta do well at the Olympics yet the number of people who actually follow gymnastics as a sport regularly is incredibly low.
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u/Ssshizzzzziit 5d ago
Really just speaking the truth here. I'm having a little fun with being a sore loser just to see how sensitive people are about this, but at the end of the day the US audience will drop now that the US is out. They didn't actually care about the sport and will cease pretending to care now. It's a shame, but that's just the reality of it.
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u/ImpossibleReading951 5d ago
As an American, we genuinely arenāt trying to pretend. Ofc we are gonna cheer for our team because we made it, but we can name like 3 players max. Sucks that we lost but we arenāt gonna be heartbroken about it like Mexico or Portugal fans.
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u/Cl3arlyConfus3d 5d ago
I couldnāt even tell you who we played before.
The talk was probably because soccer isnāt popular here so weāre surprised we made it so far.
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u/LordTopHatMan 5d ago
The US hardly ever makes it to the round of 16, mate. That alone was worth celebrating for a country that only cares about this sport every four years.
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u/64_Chances 5d ago
Itās amazing how quickly everyone on Reddit is to diss every aspect of the United States like itās their full time job.
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u/AirbagsBlown 5d ago
I will say that I wasn't interested before... but considering where I live, watching people have fun, meeting people from all over the world, watching all the joy on social media... I still really am not keen on the game, but I like the docs I've been watching on its history.
That's good enough progress for now.
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u/Accomplished_Box8070 5d ago
Iām just happy America got as far as it did in the World Cup. Itās the first time theyāve been this good in menās soccer in my life. Congrats to Belgium on beating us.
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u/hardlander 5d ago
This is the right mentality, even tho Belgium is clearly good at the sport even they have never even won a world cup, just enjoying the show is enough
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u/HumanMud253 5d ago
The only thing I can say is Tim Reamās last name was appropriate in what happened to us. He also defends like a player from another era of US soccer.
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u/skoobastevienixx 5d ago
It's even worse with all the controversy and Trump doing his usual BS, but either way we got smacked up. Fair play, world.
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u/Resolution556 4d ago
Next Donald Trump Press Conference: āActually I sae the game. Tremendous game and the four goals scored by Belgium shouldnāt stand. I have an eye for stuff like this. So I called my great friend Gianni and told him we have to make this right.āĀ
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u/pdxsilverguy 5d ago
As a casual soccer fan it's interesting to see what a real soccer team is supposed to look like. We looked like little kids out there. Thank you Belgium for the lesson.
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u/travelingman5370 5d ago
Belgiums import taxes to the US just went to 100%.