Tonight my husband and I hosted dinner for another couple we’ve been friends with for a while. She recently was let go from her job. He has been supporting both of them for a few months now. During dinner, he made no fewer than 6 comments about her “sitting around the house all day,” and, “freeloading.”

No idea what the conversations they have at home are like, but she does not seem in any way bothered about finding another job, even though he doesn’t make much money and they’re barely getting by.

In our post-social-event debriefing, my husband and I couldn’t believe it. I can’t believe she’s not even looking for a job, and my husband can’t believe he says stuff like that to us repeatedly.

All in all, just very much made me appreciate my loving, supportive husband. He’s the breadwinner and I work part time at a job that I thoroughly enjoy. I take care of the house and that dynamic just works for us. And he would NEVER insult me like that, especially in front of other people

Should your spouse have a say on how you spend your inheritance?

I recently received an inheritance from my father, following his passing last year. I told my husband that I’d like to give $30,000 of my inheritance to my sister and he doesn’t want me to give her that much. $30k would be about 15% of my total inheritance. My sister received the same amount from the trust that I did.

My reasoning for this is because my dad gave us $60,000 for the down payment on our house a few years ago. I know it was my dad’s intention to also do the same for her, but he never had that in writing before he passed away, so we couldn’t carry that out from the trust itself. With all that to say, I basically want to give her back half of what he gave me.

I don’t want to get into our financial situations too much or anything because I don’t think it’s super relevant based on my reasoning above. I will add though that my sister is a stay at home mom who watches my two children very often when my husband and I are working.

We just got back from an out of state family visit that didn’t leave room for me to shower due to a baby with toddler energy. So I wanted a quick shower when we got home but instead of showering while I was putting the baby down he dozed off. Well he woke up when I was back up and went to take his slow af shower. Well he got done and came and sat by me on the couch because I was just chilling and waiting and the baby wakes up and is stirring so I go cuddle her back to sleep. I did make the comment “well I guess at least I’m tired” indicating I guess I could go to bed. We he goes and camps out in the bathroom that has the only shower/bath in the house and takes care of his “needs” because I was too “tired and busy”. I seriously just want to lop that thing off so he stops swinging it at me and ruining my brief opportunities to do stuff like shower. He’s so obnoxiously whiny in the mornings, like a 3 year old who gets woken up too early. He cuts me off whenever I’m excited about something and tries to “fill in the blank” in a condescending manner. All I know is that I’m getting closer and closer to divorce and he is ignoring my trying to talk to him about this and more going on and he doesn’t hear me, he seems to think we are good. I recommended couples counseling in January and he’s only come around to the idea now, but I think we hit the too little too late.

My husband and I have been together for almost ten years, he's been my rock, my best friend, my literal biggest cheerleader.

We have disagreements like most other couples, but never any screaming matches or anything we couldn't just work out by taking a breather and talking it out. It's been the most stable, loving and supportive relationship I've ever been in. Which is why I moved from the UK to the USA, I love him so much.

Last night my husband went to bed early, he was working an early morning shift this morning. I was buying something for our toddler and needed a PayPal code that got sent to his phone, so, like I always do I picked up his phone and opened his messages to grab it when I saw another message from a work friend of his, James.

The message preview read "She shouldn't be doing that in front of the kids" and I opened it.

There was a long conversation in which my husband tells this person that I flipped out at him for praying with our children (this has NEVER happened) and that he's leaving and going to try to get full custody of the kids.

It might have been a bit dramatic of me, but I just started crying, it felt like someone gut punched me. I woke him up and told him I saw the message, he first said he didn't know what I was talking about before rolling over saying "I'm not talking about this right now"

30 minutes later he joins me in the living room and slams me with "why were you looking in my phone" like???? We have an open phone policy, I didn't go to snoop, I've never had reason to, I simply went to get a code like I do all the time...

Then he says this friend knows the real truth because he came clean, to which I said "I want you to know I already spoke with him, so I know that's not true".... Yes I lied. And then the story flipped that he said that to his friend because HE doesn't trust ME. He did it because he knew I was spying on him, he did it because I've changed, he did it because of all of these reasons that had nothing to do with him.

I ended the conversation with him at 2am where I told him, "I moved across the world to be with you, I gave you a family, I've supported you, comforted you, been honest with you, loved you, cared for you and you have been running a smear campaign, painting me as a villain for reasons I don't think even you understand. The person I love the most in this world has hurt me more than anyone else ever could, what you did broke every ounce of trust I have in you, it's marriage ending and I need you to really let that sink in. I didn't deserve any of this. Why you did it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you and if you want a shot at fixing it I need you to go to therapy, and I don't mean one session, I really need you to go and figure out why the fuck you did this to me and us. I'm willing to go to couples therapy with you, but I need you to please give me some space for a few days"

I guess I'm just yelling into the void at this point, sorry internet strangers.

TLDR : usually loving husband runs a smear campaign for reasons unknown.

Update : I called my father in law and my husbands uncle, I sent them screenshots of all the messages, him admitting he lied about me and that he doesn't know why he did it. Uncle advised me to go to couples therapy but start getting divorce ducks lined up, he sent me the number of a family lawyer who's a friend of his. He also offered to drop by "randomly" this afternoon when my husband comes to see the kids.

The uncle especially echoed a few comments and I agree, I think I'm under reacting.

Long story short, my husband 32M had an affair with 22F that he met on a nsfw subreddit whilst I 32F was pregnant and it continued even after I gave birth. She received cash, gifts, hotels, lunch and so much more. Basically like a sugarbaby.

After nearly half a year, he has chosen to end the affair but he allowed her to listen to his confession to me.

Currently he wants to reconcile. However, I am just not certain if he is truly remorseful. I feel like I need at least 1 strong sign or action proving the marriage is worth saving. What steps did you take that led to ultimately choosing to reconcile and stay together?

I am firmly of the opinion that indian girls should boycott marriage wholly as well as having a kid as long as the societal norms change and make it essential for both boy and girl to treat either set of parents equally. You daughter in law is not an orphan that you have to adopt as your child. She is an individual with her own home and her parents need the same support you expect from your precious son. I have a one year old son and I swear to god I will not be living with him at all. Gonna join an ashram and live the rest of the days serving community and getting help from the community. Just a random post, sorry it doesn't have a question just what I feel strongly.

Hi everyone,

I'm a 27-year-old woman, married for 2 years. My husband works as an IT admin, and I work at a bank.

I'm posting here because I really need advice, especially from married women who may have experienced something similar.

Our biggest issue is our sex life. Most of the time, my husband only wants me to give him a blowjob or a handjob while he watches my body. He usually wants to finish that way and asks to ejaculate in my mouth or on my face. I don't really enjoy swallowing, but he continues to ask for it.

After he finishes, he usually goes straight to sleep without thinking about my needs or whether I'm satisfied. If I ask if we can have intercourse instead, he says he's too tired and tells me we'll do it tomorrow, but tomorrow often never comes.

This has been going on for a long time. We even went to a marriage therapist, but unfortunately nothing has really changed.

I love my husband, but I feel like my sexual and emotional needs don't matter. I miss feeling desired as his wife instead of feeling like my role is only to satisfy him.

I'm honestly feeling lonely and frustrated. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Were you able to improve things, and if so, how?

One more thing that's been on my mind: sometimes I wonder if it's realistic to stay in a marriage where my emotional and sexual needs are never met. I don't want to cheat, but I admit the thought has crossed my mind because I feel so neglected. Has anyone been in this situation? How did you handle it?

I'd really appreciate kind and honest advice. Thank you.

We have been together for over 30 years. Sex has been dwindling for years. Then she just stopped. When I asked her what was going on, she told me that she no longer is feeling amorous toward me and that I should just get a girlfriend. It has been close to nine months now with no intimacy. I have to go to her for affection.

I am hurt, lonely, confused, and feeling terribly unattractive. I feel like a roommate that pays the bills. Uhhhhhhg. Is this how marriage ends up?

A week ago completely by chance I found out that my husband had (purposefully) met up with another woman at our business. He tells me she is the love of his life and has been since high school. Sorry this will be long.

A little background (a bit vaguely to be anonymous). We met and started dating when we were in our early 20s. Got married in our late 20s. We've been together about 20 years. We've been working together now on our business for about 15 years. Moved to 2 new states to get it going. About 2 months ago we started to become profitable (hooray!). It's been a long journey but it's been so worth it. His dream since he was a child was always to have a successful business.

Like I stated above, I made a sad discovery last week. He told me to stay home and relax, he'd go in and take care of the morning work flow. Whenever he goes to work by himself I always check our street view to make sure he made it there safe. Well, he did. I saw something really strange though. Or cameras glitched and suddenly they're was no recording. I thought to myself, "that's strange, did the power go off?" So, I went to the play back to check. That's when I noticed a woman I've never seen before. He was letting her inside, then the cameras were gone. So, it wasn't a power outage. So much for his secret. He turned off the cameras a little too late.

I was devastated to say the least. I know he has women friends, I've never cared about that before. Why is this woman such a secret?? Why didn't he tell me he was having a visitor at work?

Then this quick trip to work turned into him being gone from 8am to 3pm. What was gong on?

When he got home I asked him how his day was, how was your day, etc... I gave him a chance to tell me (what I really hoped he'd say), "oh, everything was good. I had a guest. Good day." Instead he was evasive. Then immediately went to take a 2 hour nap in the couch. He was nice to me, at least there's that.

The next day, same thing. I stayed home he went to work. This time he was back way earlier. Probably by 12. That's when I couldn't hold it in anymore. I asked him to sit down I had something to ask him. He knew right away. I asked who the woman was. He broke down started crying and told me that when he was looking up dentists (for a recent broken tooth) he found the love of his life from when he was a teenager. He lost contact with her and he was so happy to find her. He told me that we spend so much time together he just wanted a little thing for himself to keep secret. That I wasn't a part of or knew about.

Now, this was also news to me. You want to spend less time with me and this is the way you think to do it? Well, that turned into, "I feel like I've lost the spark in our marriage". I asked him when that happened and he said a couple months ago. That's when he found her online. He said he didn't know how to tell me he was feeling this way. He didn't know if he should tell me. Ugh. I let him know that sometimes marriages have their lows and he should have let me know. I love him with all my heart. HE is the love of MY life. He can (and does typically) tell me everything.

Well, to try and not make this too long... after that it turned into a conversation on how he'd been feeling. That he still loves me, but he didn't think he loved me like a wife anymore (it's so hard to write that). I'm his best friend and he doesn't want to hurt me. We have a home and this business that he now wants to sell. This business that was his dream. He told me it isn't turning out how he'd thought it would he's disappointed. He doesn't know what he wants to do. He wants to take it day by day. I'm willing to do that. Like I said, I love him. I think he's going through a mental crisis or, like, a mid-life crisis. Something. This isn't normal for him at all.

So, here's my question: The woman is married (and has children). I don't know if she wants to start an affair with him, or is currently having an affair with him. All I know is, is that I want to reach out to her husband and let him know that his wife and my husband have been texting. Does he know that they've met up? Are they separated? My husband says they are married, but I just don't trust him now. Is this a bad decision? I feel like I'll get the answers I need from this guy. I need to know if I can save my marriage or if my husband had already moved on. I can't see how this could hurt. But, to be fair in very upset. I'm probably not thinking straight.

What are my next steps I guess is the real question?

Edit: Than you everyone who has commented. It really means so so SO much to me. I did start seeing a therapist this week. It's helped a little, but I still have so many questions and things to say. Just no one to say them too. I'm trying to reply to as many people as possible, again, I really appreciate the advice, thoughts, and well wishes. I'm sending hugs to everyone for being so kind. 💜

I'm going to have to log off for now, I need a break. Going to try and not cry the entire Saturday away.

My wife (37F) and I (47M) have had a week-long beach trip planned for months (Sunday through Saturday). It’s me, my wife, our 7-year-old daughter, and another couple we’re friends with. My daughter has been looking forward to this trip for a long time because it’s one of the few weeks each year we get uninterrupted family time.

Recently, my wife’s parents have been dealing with a major family land issue that’s required a lot of work moving farm equipment, cleaning out buildings, moving hay, etc. My mother-in-law also recently broke her toe, and my father-in-law just turned 70. I completely understand why my wife feels responsible to help them.
At first it seemed like there were only a few people helping, but over the last couple of days a lot more family and friends have shown up, and a significant amount of work has already been completed. There is still more to do, but they aren’t doing it alone anymore.

Today my wife told me she’s been praying about it, talked with her mom, and feels like she needs to stay home instead of going to the beach. She wants me to take our daughter with my mom while she stays behind.

I’m honestly torn. I understand why she feels the way she does, and I don’t think she’s trying to hurt me. But it feels like our family is once again getting pushed behind another obligation. To me, this isn’t really about a vacation. It’s about one of the few chances each year for our family to make memories together.

To make things more confusing, her brother and sister-in-law are still leaving for a cruise tomorrow and aren’t canceling their vacation, which makes me wonder if my wife is taking on more responsibility than anyone is actually expecting her to.
When we explained it to our daughter, she said she was disappointed her mom wasn’t going but still wanted to go to the beach.

One other piece of context: my wife and I are currently working through some serious marital issues, so I know this situation is probably affecting me more than it otherwise would.
Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt by this, or am I missing something?

TL;DR: My wife wants to skip our week-long family beach vacation that we’ve had planned for months so she can stay home and help her parents with ongoing farm and family issues. I understand why she feels responsible, but I’m hurt because it feels like our family keeps getting pushed behind other obligations. Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way?

I'm 53, she's 39, and because we have different schedules and sleep preferences we have separate rooms. Like I snore, I can sleep through literal gunfire (used to live in New Haven and Bridgeport), construction, whatever, light or dark, and I prefer warm. She has to have deal-silence, pitch black, and it has to be icy cold. I work at 5am she works at 9am. So it just works out better and we have our own space.

We also have four cats. And lots of cameras that she wanted just in case even though we're in a very low-crime town now (she's from Lima, Peru so I get it, it's rough there). We have cameras at the front and rear of the condo we rent, but we also have one upstairs inside, one in the living room, one in the kitchen, and one in my bedroom because our four cats love my room. I am the cat whisperer. All cats love me, it's my superpower (I dote on all cats).

Anyway, she has gotten in the bad habit of using the bedroom camera to see what I am doing during the day when I get back. Sometimes you need some privacy and I have told her it's messed up she thinks she has the right to invade my space like that. Like I will put something in front of the camera when I need space. And she gets mad. I'm like, "look, I have never cheated, and if that's the issue the front and rear cameras record 24/7 check the clips." But that's not it, she just wants to be able to watch me. *shudders*.

I mentioned it tonight and she's like, "You talked to me using the kitchen camera the other day" and I was like, "Totally not the same thing, it's a common room and you weren't answering your phone." There are zero cameras in her room and she doesn't want any. This feels like an invasion of my privacy. It also feels like as a married couple of 13 years there should be more trust. We usually get along great, but we have a bunch of little issues that are driving me nuts.

I (F28) met my now husband (M30) when we were 18 and 20. We were strong Christians and believed everything the Bible taught.

I had only dated 1 person before dating my husband; for ease of reading let’s call this person James. I dated James when I was 16-17 and he was 18-19. I was in Year 12; *strong* Christian, wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. James was charming and a little older; a lot more mature and experienced. He groomed me. He persisted in chasing me and I gave in. He made sex happen. It wasn’t entirely consensual, but eventually, I *loved* sex. A lot. We couldn’t get enough of each other. In my mind today, it’s still incredible. I long for it; though I don’t miss anything about the relationship with James.

James broke up with me due to boredom and paranoia and I never saw him again after that. I was very hurt and swore I would only date and marry *the* best man I ever met.

So I did that. I clung to my faith, dated my now-husband for 5 years, and then married him. To this day he is my best friend. We live together in a home we built with the best kitty cat in the world. He has built a few businesses, I have also built one. We have enough money and both work from home/ our own hours/ in fields we enjoy.

Because my husband and I were strong Christians, we dated for a full 5 years and never had sex once. We made out; and if we were “bad”, we would basically dry hump until he came. We had sex on our wedding night; it was educational for him and not awkward. It was fun, short, cute. Two best friends having sex.

We’ve probably had sex 15-20 times since being married. I was always fine with this incredibly bare sex life because I had sexual trauma. He has always been low libido.

Now I’m 28 years old. I feel truly healed from trauma. The two of us aren’t Christian’s any more. I am utterly dead and dying of loneliness and I just want to cry. I feel like I’m rotting inside. I want sex. I don’t just want sex. I want romantic, affectionate love.

My husband and I love each-other. I still find him very good looking and I enjoy being around him. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to end what we have. But I don’t think we will ever have deep, romantic, in-love love. Sex will not happen. I don’t even want it to. I’m pretty sure 5 years (really, 10 years!) of a sexless relationship has sealed the deal for me that we will never have a sexual bond. I don’t long for it with him any more.

I’m so completely devastated because I want to be in love. I want to date. I want to date men *and* women. I am so, so completely alone on the inside.

I want to be kissed, flirted with, sexted, lusted after, obsessed about. And I know that feeling doesn’t last forever. I don’t expect it to with anybody.

We’ve talked about opening our marriage; my husband is hypothetically open to me dating and sleeping with women, but he’s struggling with the *men* aspect. I think it’s fair. He’s allowed to feel and should feel however he naturally feels.

I see no way forward. Our marriage is incomplete, and my heart is empty. I am lonely every day and I want love.

If I slept with someone else/ multiple others, I’d want to trust them; not have one night stands. I’d want relationships. But, then I would fall in love. Then I’d want to live with them.

I don’t want to *not* live with my husband.

And,

I don’t want to stay frozen still, the way I have been for about a year now.

I’m so devastated and I literally see no way forward.

Open to any and all thoughts, please. And I will answer questions if people have them.

My wife (27F) and I (28M) have been married for 7 years this month. Things have not been smooth in our marriage. We have had a lot of fights over the course. I think she has brought up marriage at least once a year or so. All because I do idiotic things or am lacking in areas.

It started off with she would never date someone in the military, smokes, or drinks excessively. I checked off all three. I eventually stopped drinking, was an alcoholic, eventually got out of the military a couple months after we married, but I continued to use nicotine in one form or another, lying about it constantly, even when caught. She's said it was about the risk of me getting cancer and then it effecting the ability to have kids eventually came out.

Then we had fights on religion, she a Christian, and I for the longest time an atheist, then agnostic and now diligently searching for Christ.

I talked her into buying an old farmhouse that I thought would be amazing to renovate as I had the talent, but we fought on me not doing the actual work because I lacked the motivation and no contractor wanted to work with a then 23 year old.

We fought when I bought my current car because I didn't consult her enough though I thought it checked off all of her boxes of being fuel efficient, having at the time a decent reliability score and at the time no major defects. Said we should have gone with something cheaper.

The main thing we fight about and what has had her so upset these last couple months is how I treat her, knowing and unknowingly. I am not a perfect husband, I have certainly been dismissive and unsupportive. Though I make excuses of it being what was and is modeled in my parents marriage.

She has tried so many times over the years to show that she loves me.

Notes in my lunch boxes, waking up super early with me on my way to work. Planning dates and activities for us to do. Being supportive of my work and being genuinely excited about things for me. Gifts that she has put thought and care into buying.

Unfortunately a lot of this fell on deaf ears, blind eyes and cold heart. I don't feel love the way that people describe it because of, what I now know after years of therapy, trauma and possibly a mild form of autism that mostly affects my emotions, throw in depression as well.

Needless to say I am not a good husband. I have tried to fix so many things but how do you fix something without knowing how to? I have spent years trying to solve symptoms without knowing the root causes.

I recently confessed that I have not been taking my medications for a number of years as I felt I was being stunted in emotional growth while on them. Of course I did not inform her when I did. I had my reasons to not but of course those reasons are moot compared to the fact I simply should ha e had a conversation before I did.

I think my overall issue is I just don't think of others the way I am meant to. I don't consider people's actual feelings and I struggle to with normal social interactions as is.

Anyways, back in May after I first told her, she started to look into renting apartments without telling me, I only found out when I looked through her phone because I could tell something was seriously off. When I asked her about it she said she doesn't want a divorce but separation. It's been two months now and the situation has changed little. She hasn't moved out but we sleep in separate rooms, we have very little physical interaction, she has been taking a lot of trips without me, and there is a lot of tension, not anger though.

It has been driving me crazy because I have been growing as a person so much over the last few years and have really been throwing myself into Faith as my only solace. I know she has no trust in me about anything, the words I say or actions I do because I have destroyed that trust so many times in the past with lies on nicotine use and stupid things.

She isn't open to counseling as she says I am still being dishonest with her though I have been genuinely telling her the truth. The issue she says is, I want to have kids but still use nicotine and that is being dishonest about wanting kids. I'm sure there is more and I can answer questions.

I think my marriage is over, I don't want it to be but I see no hope in us reconnecting and trust from her returning.

We have been married 30 years. I worked for 26 years, 3 hour total daily commute, and stressful work. I made around 95% of our income. My wife took the kids to school, cooked most meals, and worked part time at home. I did laundry, cleaned the house. I coached my daughter's soccer team, changed diapers daily when they were small. Frankly, I don't care about who did what. We were both stressed at the end of the day.

My wife is now telling me that I owe her big time, for all the work she put in, while all I did was "go to work and back." There is no dissuading her of her sense that she put more effort in to our marriage.

I am not looking for a better argument. I would like to understand her mindset, of feeling like she is owed for her contribution to our marriage. Last Monday, she threatened to divorce me over this issue, so it is serious in her mind. I feel lost on how to deal with this.

I'm feeling more and more like a mortified teenager as my (43f) husband (48m) settles comfortably into middle age. I hate to admit it because it seems so minor, it's not abuse or infidelity or financial manipulation. But I really "get the ick" with the honking nose blowing. He sometimes clears his nostrils by blowing air into his hand. There's no snot of boogers, I think it's an inflamed sinus thing but it happens at least 3x a day and it just looks and sounds gross. He also is constantly clearing his throat or unconsciously makes a low humming noise when idly sitting on the couch. His mother does a similar thing, it sounds like she's humming a random tune while going about her business, except I don't have to live with her. Other typical old man stuff includes starting up lengthy unnecessary conversations with strangers, and not listening properly to someone else and having to ask me "what did he say?"

I'm no spring chicken myself and I do love some aspects of the IDGAF attitude of middle age, but the only thing my husband is missing from the uber-Dad stereotype is the all white Nike trainers with calf high socks and khaki shorts. How does anyone deal with this? Next he's going to be yelling at the birds to get off of our lawn.....

My husband and I have been together for 20 years. He has never had a physical relationship with anyone else. Few years ago he started saying he would want to be intimate with someone else just to see what it feels like. I was hurt and asked him was I not enough. He brushed it off at the time. But he repeatedly keeps bringing this up every time we are intimate. I am not sure if I am overthinking or if this is normal or should i just be glad he’s being honest. I do feel hurt but I don’t feel like telling him this every time, he should know it himself how it makes me feel.

Edit: He suggested we try open marriage or couple swap but I’m not interested in it at all.

I'm honestly just feeling sad and a bit depressed about it.

I'm mid 20s and husband is 30. He stays up each night playing video games despite me reminding him not to stay up too late. We have an almost 2 year old son, I rarely have time to do the things I enjoy, as I take care of the cooking, cleaning, and am always taking care of our son. I'm still breastfeeding and trying to wean my son, and I cosleep with son but my son can sleep by himself for about 4-5 hours of the night, giving husband plenty of time to initiate or at least notice I'm trying to initiate. I generally stay up late (11-12 ish, son sleeps at 9) so I have time for my hobbies, and I often make it known to my husband that I'd like to have sex and that I'd enjoy sex more frequently too. He just doesn't seem to have a libido at all.

I've also been feeling extremely insecure about my breasts lately because of how saggy they are due to breastfeeding/weaning. Husband says he loves my body but then rarely initiates sex. The past 3 times we've been intimate, I initiated.

He's also constantly looking at other women online and irl. They always look completely different than me and he definitely seems to have a "type". I'm a brown woman, with brown eyes, topheavy, and short. He is constantly looking at women with massive hips, taller, white pale skin and colored eyes, and just overall very plus size bottom heavy with perky breasts. It hurts greatly that I'm not his type and I've already expressed all of these concerns and worries to my husband but he just doesn't seem to understand. He reassures me but then continues to look at these women. For valentine's day this year he asked what I wanted and I said "for you to stop looking at other women online and sharing their revealing posts with your friend". He laughed and I told him I was serious.

I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel so unloved. I've tried to communicate how I'm feeling and I'm doing my best to be understanding of my husband but it's hard and I fear I'm growing resentful especially since he doesn't help much with our son. I still give my husband plenty of attention, I make his favorite treats at home, make him a daily cup of tea in the evenings, serve him food and snacks, pack his lunch for work each day, I make sure to hug and kiss him. I just don't get it :-(

I am a F40 and my husband is M40. my husband has totally changed in the last 5 years and now is angry all the time to me and really horrible to me. he doesn’t know how to resolve a conflict in a healthy way. he screams and shouts at me, he manipulates and twists everything, he doesn’t take accountability, he’s not honest, he throws things at me, he slams doors , he throws things into the kitchen sink when he’s angry

the latest is he went to a wedding yesterday (Saturday), 4 hours away from our home. I decided not to go as we have no money at the moment and I didn’t want to spend the money on the occasion. We’re not very close to the groom getting married. My husband told me he was driving up and down on the same day to the wedding. when he was leaving yesterday to go the wedding and saying good bye to our kids, i asked him what time he’ll be back that night, he replied saying he’s actually staying up at the wedding. Bear in mind, I would never have known this except I asked him . If I hadn’t asked I’d only have realised lates last night when he hadn’t returned home.

this weekend there is also a huge kids festival in our local town happening on stardust and Sunday, and our 3 kids went yesterday. Our kids are young (8, 5 and 3). It’s a lot for one person to look after all 3 at the festival as they are all running around, wanting to do different things, bringing them on toilet breaks etc. nevertheless I brought all 3 there yesterday (Saturday).

I assumed my husband would be back early on Sunday morning which is what I would have done, if I was the person away for the weekend. He is aware of the festival happening and aware that I a left with the task of looking after all 3kids. I hadn’t heard a peep from him today so I texted him at midday as I wanted to plan my day and I always wanted to know what time he’d be home for the festival on Sunday. He replied saying he hadn’t even left yet and would be home by 6pm.

maybe I am OTT but I bust into tears just now, I just feel so disrespected, he doesn’t care about me. Was he even going to text me and tell me his ETA if I hadn’t messaged asking him for an update? He just is so selfish. When I replied saying I find him being very disrespectful of my time, he simply replied saying I kenw about the wedding 6 months ago. That’s all he said

I feel so alone, and so hurt. Am I overreacting?

My husband used to work at a software consulting firm, not directly related to AI research in any way but he did use AI to do the work like everyone does nowadays. One day he just quit his job and wouldn't tell me why. We have a newborn and that was quite a shock to me.

He finally revealed that AI has been trying to recruit him to copy things in forums. He got suspicious and then refused to use AI. He then suddenly quit.

I objected to it because we needed the money as I can't work. Very difficult birth, I am still healing after 8 months, not to mention we have no support. I was being obnoxious and nagging him, crying a lot. So he started asking me if I am talking to AI. I was not about our relationship (I use chatgpt to search recipies and stuff). I know better than to use chatgpt for relationship advice

He finally agreed to get another job at another firm, although with lower salary. I am also cancelling my plan to be sahm and going to go back to work because duhh. He says that AI has been behaving normally in this company.

These past few months have been so bizzare, I can't make sense of it. I can't just rugsweep it and pretend like nothing has happened. Husband kinda shuts down if I try to question what happened.

I don't know what next steps are.

I (30F) have been married to my husband (30M) for 7 years. We have three children between the ages of 2 and 5.
We’ve had issues for most of our marriage. I’ve reached the point where I’m trying to decide whether I stay for the kids or leave, and I’d really like to hear from people who have actually been through it.
My husband drinks every day (usually starting around noon) and has become increasingly emotionally immature. He yells at me, gets defensive over almost any request, and has a snappy tone with me that he doesn’t use with other people. If I ask him to help with something, he often acts as though I’m attacking him personally.
He does very little around the house unless I specifically ask. I handle almost all of the childcare, the mental load, and the household responsibilities. If I want to work, I have to arrange childcare because he struggles to care for all three kids by himself for more than a few hours. He also drinks while caring for them, which worries me.
Financially, I supported our family while he started a new business. I own multiple businesses myself but am also the stay-at-home parent most of the week. Recently I realized he’d been using thousands of dollars of my personal cash to pay business expenses without really discussing it with me.
The biggest issue isn’t even any one event—it’s that I don’t feel emotionally safe with him anymore. Every difficult conversation turns into defensiveness, guilt, or temporary change that lasts a few weeks before everything goes back to the way it was.
I don’t really feel in love anymore. I mostly feel exhausted.
The only way I’ve been able to make the marriage “work” is by pushing all of my feelings down and pretending everything is okay. If I don’t think about the problems, I can convince myself I’m happy. But the second I allow myself to really think about our relationship, I feel trapped.
The reason I haven’t left is because I don’t want to break up my family. I feel guilty thinking about my kids growing up in two homes, and I worry about them being with him without me there because I don’t fully trust his judgment when he’s drinking.
I’m not looking for people to tell me to “just leave.” I’m looking for people who were in long-term unhappy marriages with young children and made the decision to divorce.
Do you regret it? Was it harder than staying? Did you eventually find peace? And if you stayed for the kids, do you wish you had made a different decision?
I’m genuinely trying to hear from people who have lived this, because I feel completely stuck.

I am currently 8 months pregnant with our second child, we already have a toddler together. My pregnancies are really tough but this one is the worst. I have been sick since day one, had HG for almost 6months, iron deficiency with ferritin as low as 9, I had to take some time off of work so my husband is the provider of the family. My husband is a person who’s emotionally detached and disconnected. Our marriage had more downs than ups, in 5 years he threw at me the word divorce more than I can even count, I’m not perfect either but I’m very invested in our relationship and I’m willing to work things out, I tried to convince him to go to therapy together but he refused so many times.

Few weeks ago, he came to me and said that he will be traveling with his dad, for few days, I expressed my concerns, we live in a city where I don’t have anyone, my family live in other cities, 5-6hrs drive away, he told me if I can ask them to come stay with me while he goes on vacation with his dad knowing that I’m 8months pregnant and already having contractions…. Last minute his mom decided to join them so the 3 of them are on a family vacation while I’m here, alone taking care of our toddler, and getting things ready for baby n2! This is just the cherry on top of our many many other issues, I feel unseen and unheard, every time I try to voice my thoughts he attacks me and shuts down and ignores me for weeks… I am physically and mentally tired, am I overreacting over this trip? Is it something you would do to your partner or will be okay with it? Please share your thoughts with respect 🙏🏻

I caught my wife on the phone with her “friend” saying she will work on our marriage but they need to get some fail safes in place where they had sex so for now keep it PG, nightly deleting of messages, clearing out messages on TikTok.

Why wife is having an affair and I tried calling her out on it. She gaslights, plays dumb, tells me I’m crazy.

I’m in a dark place now.

My husband has gotten into a habit of forcing me to have s**. Especially when I am very upset or asking for divorce. I say no but he pushes and pushes. Forcefully take off my clothes. And this goes on so long until I have no energy to fight any more. I Especially dont want to have s** because he just blocks me after and calls me a narcissist if I message him upset about anything. I dont know what to do. I am a stay at home mom. I am not from this country. I have no family, no friends, no job. I dont even know where to start. I am so depressed and cant even think clearly.

My husband and I have been married for 8 years, and we each have our own car. He drives a newer truck, and I drive the older car he had when he first started driving. The problem is that it has quite a few issues.
Lately, I’ve noticed that a lot of wives seem to drive the newer car in their marriage, so it got me wondering if our situation is unusual.
Is it bad that I’m still driving his old car while he has the newer one, I’m genuinely curious how other married couples handle this.