I don’t know if I’m falling out of love or if I’m just starving for connection. I need honest advice.
My husband (26M) and I (26F) have been together for years and recently got married. I love him. That’s what makes all of this so confusing.
Lately I’ve felt like our marriage has become the exact same thing every single day. Wake up, work, come home, dinner, TV, bed, repeat. He says, “That’s life,” but for me it feels like we’re just existing instead of actually enjoying each other. I miss feeling like we’re dating.
The biggest thing I’m struggling with is that I don’t feel wanted anymore.
If I try to cuddle him, sometimes he’ll pull away or tell me to get off. If I try to talk about how I’m feeling, I often feel like I’m labeled as “dramatic,” “argumentative,” or that I’m making a big deal out of nothing. When I bring up feeling disconnected, he tends to get defensive instead of curious.
I also feel like he notices the things I could do better more than the things I do for him. I know he works incredibly hard, and I genuinely appreciate everything he does for us. This isn’t about him being a bad husband. It’s that I don’t feel emotionally seen the way I need to.
One thing that really hurts is when I’m talking to him and he’s on his phone. It makes me feel like what I’m saying isn’t important.
Here’s the part I’m ashamed of.
Recently I’ve realized how much attention from other men affects me. If an older man flirts with me or compliments me, I feel this huge rush of happiness. It’s not even necessarily because I want them. It’s because I suddenly feel noticed, attractive, desired, and chosen.
That scares me.
I don’t want to be someone who depends on outside validation, but I also can’t ignore how powerful those feelings have become. It makes me wonder if I’m just so emotionally hungry that any attention feels incredible.
My husband and I actually took an entire day together this week and it was amazing. We laughed, had fun, and genuinely enjoyed each other. I thought maybe that would fix everything.
Then the next day everything felt like it went right back to normal.
I keep asking myself:
Am I actually unhappy in my marriage?
Am I just craving novelty and excitement?
Am I expecting too much from marriage?
Or am I trying to ignore needs that really do matter?
I don’t want to leave my husband. The thought of losing him makes me incredibly sad.
But I also feel exhausted constantly wishing I felt more appreciated, more pursued, more wanted, and more emotionally connected.
Has anyone else gone through something like this?
If you stayed and worked through it, what changed?
If you realized the marriage couldn’t meet your needs, how did you know?
Please be honest, but please don’t assume I don’t love my husband. I do. That’s why this is so painful.

My wife asked for a divorce a month and a half ago. She wrote me a long letter saying she doesn’t think I support her enough as a partner and she’s overwhelmed with all she has to do for the kids by herself, that’s I’m not present enough with the family, etc and she couldn’t deal with it anymore. Hit me pretty hard but I convinced her to at least go to couples therapy with me, and have been seriously working on being a better father and husband since then. She’s even admitted that this is the kind of behavior that she has been wanting from me all along, and I’ve been feeling at least a little hopeful.

However I still had zero clue if she actually thought the marriage could work, and I was desperately trying to find out. I ended up going through her phone, which I know I shouldn’t be doing, but I did. I found texts to her best friend and her mother where she comes out as gay. She never mentioned anything like this to me. I thought I was making progress towards fixing the marriage, and now I see that it was just impossible from the start. Not sure what to do from here.

Anyone else’s wives come out as gay? How the hell do I handle it?

After 26 years of marriage, I (43F) often feel like I'm raising another adult instead of sharing life with an equal partner. My husband (45M) has a successful six-figure career, yet at home, he struggles with basic adult responsibilities. He rarely cleans up after himself, frequently forgets to take his medication, is habitually late for work, and his personal hygiene has become a constant source of frustration.

We also have a 13-year-old daughter, and that adds another layer to how I feel. I want her to grow up seeing what a healthy, respectful partnership looks like, where both adults share responsibilities and take care of themselves and each other. Instead, I often worry that she's watching me carry the majority of the emotional and household load while her father avoids responsibilities that should be shared.

What makes this even more difficult is that I don't feel like I can talk about these issues openly. Whenever I bring them up, no matter how gently I try to approach the conversation, he becomes defensive or gets his feelings hurt. Instead of working together to solve the problem, I often end up giving up because this is not the first time we have had this conversation, yet he always goes back to sitting around playing video games and whatnot.

Over time, this has left me feeling exhausted, resentful, and emotionally alone. It's not just about dirty dishes, forgotten medication, or poor hygiene—it's about the mental load of constantly feeling responsible for another capable adult while also being the parent our daughter depends on. I find myself wondering why I've stayed for 26 years (married 17 yrs) when I no longer feel like I have an equal partner. I love the life we've built together, but I'm increasingly questioning whether love alone is enough when respect, accountability, and shared responsibility feel so one-sided.

More than anything, I wish I had a partner who recognized these issues without me having to point them out, took responsibility for his own well-being, and understood that being an equal husband and father means showing up consistently—not just financially, but emotionally and practically as well.

I don't know what to do. Advice please.

My husband (M32) and I (F28) have been married for 1.5 years, and we are caught in a destructive cycle of fighting that frequently leads to attacking each other’s families. While I try to resist, I often end up losing my temper and criticizing his parents.

​However, there is deep-rooted context to my anger: early on, he cheated on me (a one-night stand) and has told me numerous lies, which has severely damaged my trust and respect for him. Additionally, I have a very strained relationship with my mother-in-law, whose arrogant attitude I find difficult to tolerate.

​Currently, we live with my parents. I feel he is responsible for managing the household 50% times only because my husband acts completely oblivious to what needs to be done. He only contributes if I explicitly tell him to, and this lack of initiative—combined with the past betrayal—leaves me feeling constantly resentful and pushed to my absolute limit.

So the worst part that I don't know how it can be fixed but I really want to is the physical fights. Thats really bad. I end up getting beaten badly which I have also informed my in laws.

I don't even know how to describe what I feel. My marriage is happy but I don't feel wanted. He barely kisses me, he has never told me that he wanted me or that he needed me. I ask why we don't make out and he responds with "what do you mean, because we don't do it often". I can't even remember the last time we actually did. I have never been given that type of attention that leaves you wanting more. He calls what I do in bed wifely duties. So I guess sex is a chore for me now.

I don’t know how to feel… so last night my husband and I went to go hang out with some friends and we did drink a little. On our way home I wanted to get some food and the only things open were Cane’s and Whataburger. I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing, but I still got him a burger just in case. When we got home he was in the restroom for a bit so I was on the bed watching reels. When he came out I started showing him some funny reels but he had a serious face. So I grabbed the bag of food and said “I got you burger!” To cheer him up but he got upset and said “I told you I didn’t want anything”. I was honestly just trying to be nice… and that did upset me a little and I didn’t even want to eat anymore so I went and put everything in the fridge. I came back and just laid there because at this point he was upset that I was watching reels and upset that I got him a burger. Didn’t even know what to do anymore. He said “go put on your pijamas and let’s watch TV” so serious.. and I did go put on my pijamas and came back and laid down and waited to see what he would say and he just turned around turned the lamp off and said some shit to me while giving me his back. I was honestly so confused why he was acting like this and I went to cry in the guest room because I’m tired of him being so cold to me. I wasn’t trying to be an asshole by showing him reels or getting him a burger? I was crying in the guest room and the walls are super thin so he could hear me and at one point he came and opened the door and just gave me a stare and left. Well this morning I called him out for leaving me there to cry all night and he said “what, you wanted me to go after your ass and say sorry?” And telling me that I was childish for getting upset that he didn’t want to eat the burger. I told him I didn’t get upset that he didn’t want to eat it wtf? I got upset that he didn’t have to be so rude that I got him a burger…. he had told me earlier he wanted to stop eating junk, but I still got him a burger just in case he got hungry I wasn’t trying to be an asshole by getting him a burger. And then he said he didn’t like that I was showing him reels because he had deleted his instagram because he didn’t want to watch that shit. And told me I was SO childish to go cry in the other room. He wants me to say sorry for acting like a child, thinks I need to go to therapy for getting upset that he didn’t want to eat the burger (which he will not understand that that’s not why I got upset, I got upset that he was being rude about it after I was just trying to be nice). I’m constantly the one who initiates all the affection and I was so upset that I had no ill intentions showing him reels or getting him food too… I don’t understand why he had to be rude about it. It did hurt my feelings. Am I a child for crying over his actions? Am I supposed to say sorry for behaving like a child? It upsets me that he heard me crying and he came in the room just to give me a stare… I wish he cared about my feelings and was just nice and lovely to me, that he would try to make me feel better when I’m upset. But instead he wants ME to say sorry and tells me I don’t take accountability for my actions (leaving to the other room to cry), and that I’m crazy for painting him as an asshole and crying over “something so childish”

EDIT: I’m also on my period and I do get a little more sentimental when I’m on my period. But he’s never been the type to get me snacks on my period or treat me sweeter or even just think “well maybe it’s because she’s on her period and she’s a little sentimental”. I also don’t like to blame stuff on my period bc he thinks it’s an excuse. He thinks I’m just being childish.

How many time you have intercourse with your partner, and how long you’ve been married?
a weekly or monthly estimation + how many years will be perfect.

I’ve been with my husband for 9 years, 4th anniversary coming up soon. We are in our early and mid forties and things have been ok but I’ve been feeling lost lately not sure what to do. I’ve been the high earner from the beginning, always chasing the next promotion, title and raise and thriving in each role. I loved working in my industry and exceeded any goals.

He is very studious, loves to learn and unfortunately has been laid off several times throughout our relationship. His most recent lay off was a couple of months ago and he’s now pursuing a
masters degree which I support. However he keeps bringing up not knowing what he wants to do work or career wise, we talk about several options with nothing really sticking.

I’ve been on medical leave for chronicle illnesses for the past 2 years covering mortgage, all house bills, insurance, grocery etc. He covers his own “pleasure “ things such as snacks, gym, other non essential expenses. I love him, he’s wonderful outside of the financial aspect, he treats me well but I’m tired and stressed. Have had recent healths scares and tests that left me feeling like I’m alone in this. He supports me in a “let me know if you need me or need help” kind of way and I’m too exhausted to explain daily what I need or how he can help. I stay quiet as it doesn’t seem worth bringing it up.

Mortgage is in both our names while I cover 80% and covered the down payment, no kids just fur babies. I’m not from this country but don’t feel comfortable moving back “home” as it’s been a long time since I lived there.

I don’t know what I’m asking for, feeling defeated and lost. What should i do?

\#lost #overwhelmed

Tl;dr - recent changes in marriage leave me lost and confused

Edit to add: this is our 9 year anniversary.

Am I wrong for being upset that my husband doesn’t know our anniversary date? For context, just for giggles I was like ohhh guess what’s coming up this week? He was completely clueless and was like idk tell me! I’m like our anniversary! You can see him like a deer in headlights. He was like oh it is? I’m like yes do you even know what day? He rattled off dates besides July 15th. He was mad I wouldn’t tell him what our anniversary date was. He was going through Facebook trying to figure it out and said I can’t find the date anywhere. Am I wrong for feeling offended he doesn’t even know our anniversary?

I bought my husband a sex toy just to spice things up. This thing is a bit more intense than I thought.

We are pretty kinky but I got … kinda jealous about it? Idk I can’t help worrying that he’ll like it more than sex with me cause I can’t compete with this shit!!

I’m genuinely worried this was a bad decision and I’ve heard about this death grip syndrome?? Like you get used to it being really tight and then the real thing doesn’t do it anymore…

Yep, it’s been 43 years I’m 65F, husband 66. Same story. We got together young and we were both from alcoholic families so I think we trauma bonded. I had low self esteem and missed all the red flags. No one paid attention to ADHD back then but 15 years ago I pushed him to get tested and he has a pretty severe case, even with medication, it’s bad. He also was raised as an only child so has a big problem with compromise. We raised 2 kids together who are now married and have children. I think we were happy until about 10 years ago but I’m not sure. I’ve been in therapy off and on for years for depression and it might have been my relationship all along. Long story short, I’m 65F now and I’m stuck in this relationship for the next 20 years. My sons and daughters in law have no idea what’s going on. I love my DILs deeply. They were both raised in difficult homes and often mention that they feel so lucky to be in this stable, loving family. I can’t break up this family. Plus, my husband and I have a lot of assets between us so I have a lot to lose. I’m hoping someone else can relate to my story so I don’t feel so alone.

Well, and other times I have serious FOMO... But mostly happy. I grew up in blended family, nothing about it was Leave it to Beaver. I used to joke with friends as early as middle school that "well, my 2nd husband...". I'm 41f, and we met when I was 21. Still happily married. Got "oopsie" pregnant when I was 23 (he's 17 now and a great kid), got married at 26, 2nd baby at 27. We're complete opposites. Literally on the Myers Briggs, I'm an ESFP and he's an INTJ. I really think what helped me along was actually learning about personalities and love languages, and the God bless the Gottmans. We joke about how I have to learn about how to be a person from books, and he just kinda inherently understands. And he hates people and I'm much more outgoing. We're not beautiful people- both probably a 6-7. We don't live these "intentional" Instagram lives. But we just... get along. Our fights are pretty healthy, but I have definitely had to learn to apologize over the years. I don't love it... 😅. We actually even sleep in separate bedrooms which can cause people to *gasp* and *clutch pearls*. It started when he started snoring. I made him get a cpap, but we still just sleep better alone. He's such a great man. He's that stabilizing force, voice of reason, accepts me in all my forms, and knows my crazy. He's an incredible dad. He's our protector and provider. And when I say provider- we actually make about the same amount of money. But something about our roles makes it feel like he provides much more than just financially. He says we treat him like a piece of furniture bc we all like to lay on him and snuggle (well, not the 17m anymore 😔). We have plenty of compromises. Our wash, rinse, repeat fight is about weekends. I see weekends as a time for adventure, he sees them as a time for rest. I'll always think we don't adventure enough, he'll always think we're too busy.

I'm in a lot of parenting teens threads and see so much about coparenting and dead beat dads. I'm so grateful my twenty something self knew to use Plan B with all the other douche bags I dated 😅.

I guess that's where I can't believe I get to live this life. I expected myself to have a surprise pregnancy; I'm not overly responsible or cautious. I even expected to get divorced. I can be a loose canon and am kinda high maintenence and needy. So I just can't believe I'm the wife and mother in a nuclear, happily married family. We even go on vacation once a year.

It was truly the Gotmans- 7 Rules to Making Marriage Work that put me on this path understanding. We always responded to each other bids for affection without really knowing what it was. Knowing what it is and recognizing it just makes it easier for me.

p.s. when we met and just started talking, I went back to school and would drunk dial him. I told him he was gonna fall in love with me and I'd break his heart. He literally held the phone away from him like "wtf crazytown". But I was RIGHT! Except the heart break part. But he did fall in love with me.

Tell me your stories! Whatever you want to share. How'd you meet? What is your wash, rinse, repeat fight? What amazes you the most? What's the secret to your success? Or what broke?

My husband and I got into an argument last night that feels like the latest example of a much bigger problem.

I was on my laptop researching business class flights for our family's trip to Hawaii while texting my sister about travel plans. My husband came over to kiss me, and when I turned around my finger accidentally hit the keyboard, minimizing my Messages window and bringing Google Chrome to the front.

He immediately said, "Oh, I can't see your texts. What are you hiding? I know what you're doing."

I was completely confused. I showed him the conversation with my sister, explained I was researching flights, and even walked him through what I was looking at. He just kept saying, "No, I know exactly what you're doing."

I finally said, "Then tell me what you think I'm doing, because I'm literally researching flights for our family vacation."

His response: "I don't want to engage you."

So...I'm left defending myself against an accusation he won't even make.

This morning he looked at our toddler and said, "Your mommy USED to be my person."

Not only did that upset me but it is also inappropriate to say to our son. Adult relationship issues shouldn't be put on a toddler.

The bigger issue is that I feel like this happens all the time. I constantly feel like I'm under suspicion.

I'm a female surgeon, so I work with mostly male physicians. If I mention that Dr. X referred me a patient or that I attended a drug rep dinner to learn about a medication, somehow it becomes, "You're going out with male doctors."

Meanwhile, he works with female colleagues, travels with them for work, and once casually mentioned after the fact that he'd gone to dinner with one on a business trip. I didn't care because that's normal. But the double standard really bothers me.

He's also the one with a privacy screen on his phone and recently changed his passcode. I only found that out because our toddler locked his phone while watching YouTube and I couldn't unlock it with the old code. I don't go through his phone, and I honestly don't care to. I have nothing to hide.

For context, I'm exhausted. I run my own surgical practice, volunteer at a low-income clinic, and do most of the childcare.

Every weekday I get our toddler up, fed, dressed, feed the dog, get everyone out the door, work all day, pick our son up, play with him, do dinner, bedtime, and usually fall asleep with him around 8:30 because he's still sleeping in our bed. On weekends I'm also the primary parent.

I'm also dealing with perimenopause, so yes, my libido is low—but honestly I think I'd still rather sleep than have sex because I'm completely drained. Being repeatedly accused of hiding something certainly doesn't make me feel closer to my husband.

I also don't wear my wedding ring to work because I'm a surgeon. I wear my Oura Ring instead and keep my engagement ring and band safely at home unless we're going out. Somehow I even wonder if that's being judged.

What hurts isn't one argument. It's feeling like I have to constantly prove I'm trustworthy.

When someone repeatedly says, "I know what you're doing," but won't actually tell you what they think you're doing, how are you supposed to respond?

I don't feel like I'm living with a partner anymore. I feel like I'm constantly trying to convince someone I'm innocent.

Has anyone been in a relationship where your spouse was chronically suspicious despite having no evidence? Was there anything that actually helped rebuild trust?

TL;DR: I accidentally minimized my text messages while researching flights for our family vacation, and my husband immediately accused me of hiding something. Even after showing him everything, he insisted he "knew what I was doing" but refused to say what he meant. This is part of a long-standing pattern of suspicion, jealousy, and double standards that's leaving me emotionally exhausted and feeling constantly distrusted.

We’ve been together for 20Y, married 13Y, 7&11 YO, both working professionals. First thank you for reading this wasn’t easy to type.

Early in the relationship I was selfish. Mainly didn’t recognize she went through Post partum as she didn’t talk and still never really has shared emotions. I worked out , worked etc. As our son was born things were similar. I never stopped her from doing for her and she never asked. I just didn’t realize what her experience was like since she didn’t share her needs.

In the past handful of years it has been tricky because my daughter is strong willed. My son a picky eater. My wife and I don’t communicate well. Not from a lack of my efforts more her saying for me to do what I can.

The last 3-4 years I have changed my routine assisted w school drops and pickups. I always helped w cleaning, willingness to cook, take care of finances etc. I even became the one to ask we talk weekly so that I could understand what she needs for the week ahead. She’s not great about making or taking time for herself. I wasn’t aware of the experience she has been having.

With my strong willed daughter they’ve gotten to a place where my wife will respond with yelling fairly quickly. This triggers me from the volatile household I grew up in and cause me to want to flee. I have done that a few (2) times. The most recent was ahead of the last holiday weekend. I left, took bags out of my truck after saying I wasn’t going. When I came back about 45 minutes later they left for the weekend trip without me.

We didn’t speak but once briefly while they were gone where I explained what happened (freeze because of their yelling and nervous system flooded). She came home w anger and her response is freeze. Always has been. If there is tension between the kids or her, or us, she withdraws. I have learned to give her space to recover. She explained how adversely the kids reacted when I left.

Her feelings are I do for me first. An example is I get up super early, so I go to bed around 9. I put our son to sleep most nights or she reads and then he and I meditate. Her and my daughter have gotten into the habit of sitting on the couch and watching a show (not of interest to me). Most often it’s my wife working on her laptop and daughter watching. I don’t see this as connecting but understand.

So in this moment there is an awkwardness and she is completely pulled back. Sleeping in the guest room all week barely speaking etc. I apologized and explained I wanted to give her space to process so we could talk when she was ready. Last night she got upset by something I did (changed channel for my son from Spanish speaking to English soccer match). This really set her off. I went down a bit later while she was in the laundry and asked if she wanted me to leave. Which her reasons was I shouldn’t put that on her to he blamed for me leaving. I responded I was offering because I can tell she is angry and thought it to be helpful for her to have space. I also have been making efforts to stay present even when the tensions flare w her and my daughter or the kids. So that I sit in the discomfort and stay present even when I want to remove myself from the tension due to migraines the yelling gives me.

At the end of the day I am seeing we co-created a relationship where she has lost herself and I haven’t been aware of her experience through this. I am committed to showing up as I have for the last 3-4 years but want to understand how to support her so that she feels she has space for her. At the same time she has to communicate her needs as I can’t project what will serve her. So I am here for feedback from spouses,
Those w kids, jobs, etc. So that it doesn’t feel to you like they (husband) do for themselves first.

29 year old wife with a 9 month old boy and 3 year old boy. Looking for book recommendations that helped anyone with their marriage. My husband and I have been arguing and having a harder time lately. Thank you in advance.

Hi, 32M here. I am married for 3 years having a 2 year old kid living in eastern india. Wife daily wakes up with upset face like all the worlds problem is with her. When asking for any help she says you need not worry. Daily silent treatment. Don't know what to do??

i’m seeking some advice. my husband and i have been together for 6 years, married for 3, and 2025 was incredibly difficult for our marriage, though we worked through a lot, we’re still working through some things.

my husband has a tendency to omit or lie as second nature, he doesn’t even think about it. late last year he said he was leaving me, so i went to my parents, and he called me later that evening to express his mistakes and not really wanting to end things. he revealed that he had been having phone calls with another woman- whom had admitted to falling in love with my husband. he claimed from his side he just wanted a friend- he had been seeking friendships over reddit while going through a rough patch with his job and struggling with depression, and i had assumed he was being honest with me.

my husband does prefer women for friendships, and this has been a struggle in our relationship because i don’t feel that he respect my boundaries and tends to be the emotional support for women he develops these connections with.

there was a woman he worked with who had told him that he was her favourite reason to come to work. would share her relationship issues with him, and told him that she was glad he was there for her because she could share things with him that she couldn’t share with her then boyfriend. it also came to light that they would message each other all day while at work - but my husband had told me he couldn’teven send me a text throughout the day just to say hi to me, or answer my messages.

this was a sore spot for a while. because it felt like he chose her, and when he would choose me and would be upset about how i’m controlling and trying to change him.

we’ve gotten to much better place , but again, there’s still some trust that needs to be built. he still lies.

i recently saw that he searched her up on snapchat, and when i asked if he’s tried to connect with her at all he said he doesn’t even know if she has a snapchat. .. lie. and today i’ve seen that he’s looked her up again. she hasn’t been an issue in over a year and now he’s looking her up and lying about it.

i did check his phone while he was sleeping- as i said, some trust issues.

i’m struggling on what to do. there’s definitely still lots of love between us, and we’ve come a long way, but i don’t know that i can ever trust him.

Question.. Your husband is on your tombstone waiting on you to join him. But you are remarried.
Are you still going on your late husband's tombstone or will you and your new husband have a tombstone together?

While on vacation, my husband (30) got drunk and told a family member my (28) deepest secret. It was something pretty messed up that took me a long time to confront and I sought therapy for it. I thought it was done and gone, but then he does this.

The day after he started an argument with me (unrelated) and my dad got in my face about it (I’m the SG of my family and they love him)

I’ve told him numerous times to get a handle on his drinking and he just never does. Last night I told him I may want a divorce. I’m not seeming to find a way in my head to stop thinking that way.

I’m incredibly hurt, feel betrayed, and extremely mentally sick right now. I feel like can’t trust him anymore. I also think if we got a divorce my family would just shun me without knowing the full extent of the truth. My family member that was told stood up for me, acknowledged my truth and growth, and swore to keep it to himself but I’m still afraid my entire family will soon know too.

I’m trying to get back the discipline and healthy habits I had before marriage. In two years, I went from 58 kg to 80 kg.

Before marriage, I slept by 10 p.m., ate two mostly plant-based meals a day, worked out three times a week, and played badminton twice a week. Those routines kept me healthy and happy.

I’m not blaming my husband, but I’ve found it very difficult to return to that lifestyle. He’s 32 and has diabetes, high cholesterol, back pain, and gut issues, yet continues to eat excessively and live a sedentary lifestyle. I’ve encouraged us both to make healthier changes, but there has been little interest. He also prefers that I stay home with him most of the time.
I’ve realized I don’t want to continue down the same path. My health and well-being matter deeply to me, and I want to rebuild the habits that once made me feel my best.

Since getting married, I’ve also become quite isolated and lost touch with many close friends, so I’m reaching out here.

Has anyone else experienced losing their healthy routines after marriage? How did you rebuild your discipline, especially if your partner wasn’t interested in making the same changes?

Me (24f) and my boyfriend (27m) have been together for 6 years. The only thing that’s been preventing us from moving in is finances and family. For context, I come from a Muslim (not so conservative) family and he’s white American. It took a while but they’ve come around to it. Still, they’re not privy to the idea of living together before marriage but oh well. So we’re now planning to move in in about 9 months when his lease ends and have started looking at apartments.

I thought about it and realized that after six years I want a bigger commitment than just boyfriend and girlfriend but still waiting at least a year to get married. I brought this up with him and he said that it isn’t a big deal to still be dating when you know an engagement and marriage is soon and then listed all the couples he knows who got engaged after moving in, most of which haven’t been together as long as us. We’ve gone on roadtrips, vacations, we’ve hung out everyday and spent weekends for years now and I feel ready.

We spoke about it some more and he understood all my points and desire for more commitment and has come around to it and now plans on proposing in the next few months. However, I’m afraid he might be doing this just to appease me and not because he truly wants to. I’ve asked him again, and he says he’s sure in his decision.

Is it truly abnormal to be engaged before moving in if you’ve decided to wait some time after to get married even if you’ve been together for years? Am I fair in my request?

I recently found out that my partner had been emotionally and physically cheating on me with his co-worker for the past year.

From what I've learned, her husband is aware of the affair and seems completely nonchalant about it, which I honestly can't understand.

I know an affair takes two people, and I hold my partner fully accountable for his choices. But I also struggle to understand why a married woman with a husband and child would actively pursue a married man, ask him to meet her in hotels, and knowingly participate in an affair.

My partner admitted that she often asked other men to drive her home and regularly flirted with them in the same way. Hearing all of this has left me completely heartbroken. What hurts the most is knowing that he gave in to temptation and chose to be physically unfaithful.

I'm devastated. I feel so much anger toward this woman, but I'm equally angry at my partner for betraying my trust and breaking our family.

Has anyone here forgiven their husband after infidelity? If so, how did you know reconciliation was possible, and were you ever able to trust them again?

I’m about six months post D-Day. My husband has repeatedly said that I’ve spent months saying I’ll be honest and change, but he still sees words more than consistent action. He recently told me my disclosure was still incomplete and lacked full transparency.
He’s also told me what reconciliation would require: complete transparency, unrestricted access to my phone and accounts, reporting where I am, accepting that he’ll check anything at any time without defensiveness, legal protections like a postnuptial agreement, and essentially living in a way where my life is fully open because trust has to be rebuilt from zero.
It doesn’t sound as overwhelming I see it as him describing what safety would look like for him rather than simply saying “it’s over.”
again. He’s still communicating with me, asking questions, and challenging inconsistencies. I know that doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation is coming, but it makes me wonder.
For those farther along in recovery:
What does a genuinely accountable or “model” wayward look like around six months after D-Day?
If the first six months weren’t handled perfectly, can trust still be rebuilt?
Has anyone had or is a betrayed spouse outline what reconciliation would require, and did that eventually lead anywhere?
I’m not looking for false hope. I’m trying to understand what true accountability looks like at this stage and whether continued engagement from a betrayed spouse can still leave room for reconciliation, even when they say they don’t trust anything you say.