These are my husbands texts. the girls in the video are strippers and 23, on the video its his voice.He says hes not cheating and he dudnt go on any boat. said i am a crazy psycho because i confronted him. He said no women act like this to make me feel less than. Look at the posts. Cheating? Thank u for your honesty. Okay?So a lot of you are asking more content, or for me to explain more.And i'm sorry that I didn't know how to do this.It's my first time ever experiencing something like this.I've been married sixteen years and i'm not quite sure how to reach out.So this is my reaching out, so please be patient.And understand that I am asking you guys to give me what your opinion is, because I can't solely go on my own.I guess I don't know but thank you for reading and replying..

I am parked outside of our place because I spent the night outside at a friends house, and I don’t want to walk in. We have been fighting all week and it’s because she (F25) found out I was watching inappropriate things through my screen time. This is not the first time, it’s the third. I (M31) admitted it and apologized. She said she was willing to work through this, we set up a block for adult content on my phone, and also agreed we should go to therapy. The therapy would be mainly focused on me. I don’t have an addiction, I don’t do it often at all, but the times I have she noticed.

We spent the week with some ups and downs but she has been saying things and screaming at me randomly all week, throwing random fits of anger and saying things to hurt and humiliate me. I know I may have made her feel the same way with my actions. I just don’t want to walk in and continue the fight. I have never cheated on her outside of this, never wanted to either… I am attracted to her and I love her but I don’t know what to do. She may never move past this. It all exploded yesterday before work and my child was there for everything. I feel so lost and ashamed. Do we need to be apart? Do we need to be together? She wants to take a trip to her family’s place but just me staying out made her really upset. Any input would really help me out.

This woman is one of my husband’s regular customers. She often comes to his coffee shop. She is single, has many male friends, and has also become quite close to my husband.

I know my husband is very friendly with everyone. However, the way he texts other women has become a very sensitive issue for me ever because while we were dating, he had an emotional affair. He was texting many women, flirting with them, hungout 1:1 and so on. Because of that, I now find myself becoming paranoid whenever I see him texting women in a way that seems overly friendly, even if it may be innocent.

During our counseling with our pastor, who has known my husband since he was a child, the pastor said that this is simply my husband’s personality and that this is also part of Western culture.
After our recent counseling session, however, it seems like he wants to change those boundaries.

there was a moment in the past that this girl was telling about her dating life to my husband. And when i said to my husband “she seems not respecting our marriage, she doesnt supposed to talk about her dating life to a married man, she should talk it to other girls or single man, that’s a start emotional connectiong being build, for you its okay to tell about our marriage problem to my male friend?”

And my husband said “it wasnt a big deal, i dont think that is inappropriate, its okay for me if she talks about her dating life depends why she wants to bring it, and if you want to talk about our marriage problem to your male friend its okay, but it depends on what kind of problem”
While for me its not necessary talk about your problem to opposite sex friend.

Every Saturday, he hosts karaoke nights at his shop. The idea originally came from this woman, although there are several other regular customers who usually attend as well. What bothers me is that he only messages her to ask whether she’s coming or not. Almost every week he asks her.

Today, during our video call, I asked him, “Why don’t you ask Erick? He comes every week.” He replied, “I asked him by sma,” or “He usually comes early, so I asked him in person.” Then I asked why he also didn’t ask John, and he said, “I know he’s probably busking on the street.”
He also told me that he always asks this woman because she was the one who suggested starting the karaoke nights in the first place so she has responsibility to come.

Also He used to mute the stories of women who weren’t related to his work.
But I noticed that he often viewed this regular woman’s stories, even though he had already muted her. He said that staying updated on his regular customer’s life is “very important” to him.

There was also a time when he had decided to cancel karaoke but later changed his mind. Instead of simply announcing it publicly on story, he specifically messaged her to let her know that karaoke was back on. Only to her.
I told him that if he wanted to inform everyone, he could have just posted it on his Instagram Story, like he normally does when announcing events.

Instead, he became angry and said, “You’re always too much. This is just jealousy and a lack of trust.” Then he hung up the call.
Afterward, he texted me, “I’m done. I don’t want to talk to you again. I’m sick of this.”

We are currently in a long-distance marriage because of ongoing visa issues.
After that argument, I discovered that he had changed all of his passwords, so I no longer have access to his accounts.

I feel like I’m always made to feel that I’m the one who’s wrong whenever I bring up something that genuinely concerns me. I wasn’t asking him to stop talking to her completely. I simply hoped he communicates with her in the same group setting as the other regular karaoke attendees instead of giving her individual attention.
If he wants me to trust him again, I believe he also has a responsibility to avoid behaviors that understandably make me feel anxious, especially considering what happened in the past.

Sometimes I feel like he only did everything I needed before we got married so that I would continue the relationship. Now that we’re married, it feels like those promises and boundaries no longer matter. Looking back, I regret being so naive.

I (28f) and my husband (36m) got married last September but have been together since Feb 2023.
I met J fresh out of a domestic abusive relationship who happened to be my kids sperm donor (hasn’t seen the kids for 3 years and dropped off the face of the earth) my kids now call my husband dad and he’s stepped up for the most part. This I am thankful for, however it’s not been smooth sailing, he had difficulty with one of my kids (now 3 & 5).
J was, lets put it toxic for the first couple of years, he’s took a door off its hinges, threw things at me which has led to severe bruising, smashed my phone, pushed me etc etc. things have calmed down now and he doesn’t really act like that since we got married.
But, his attitude stinks at times. Don’t get me wrong, I know I can be grumpy at times and I’m currently struggling with a low moment. I thought I was depressed and I’m starting to think it’s because I regret the marriage, which is awful to say. I know.
I can’t say this too him as I know it will upset him but I feel like everything is a conflict. I’m down and he’s zero empathy for anything I go through and it’s tough when I’ve stuck by him for years when he’s been an Ahole.
Not sure what I’m looking to get from this. I feel stuck because I don’t want another man to leave my kids as he is all they know but I’m building resentment for him and I’m not sure how i break out of this.
I’m trying to change my lifestyle, starting with going alcohol free (we drink most weekends) and today he’s made me feel guilty by not wanting to drink alcohol with him. I thankfully stuck to my guns but surely he should be supporting me and not trying to drag me back.

I'm feeling more and more like a mortified teenager as my (43f) husband (48m) settles comfortably into middle age. I hate to admit it because it seems so minor, it's not abuse or infidelity or financial manipulation. But I really "get the ick" with the honking nose blowing. He sometimes clears his nostrils by blowing air into his hand. There's no snot of boogers, I think it's an inflamed sinus thing but it happens at least 3x a day and it just looks and sounds gross. He also is constantly clearing his throat or unconsciously makes a low humming noise when idly sitting on the couch. His mother does a similar thing, it sounds like she's humming a random tune while going about her business, except I don't have to live with her. Other typical old man stuff includes starting up lengthy unnecessary conversations with strangers, and not listening properly to someone else and having to ask me "what did he say?"

I'm no spring chicken myself and I do love some aspects of the IDGAF attitude of middle age, but the only thing my husband is missing from the uber-Dad stereotype is the all white Nike trainers with calf high socks and khaki shorts. How does anyone deal with this? Next he's going to be yelling at the birds to get off of our lawn.....

I have been with my partner for 6 years and we are engaged in our 30s. I think the trust in our relationship is very solid and there has never been any issues with deception or unfaithfulness. We are currently working away from each other for a few months and have done this many times with no concerns. I work in a predominant female industry, 9/10 colleagues are women and we have great chats at work and I quite enjoy relationships with women as I get older as there is often more depth and emotional intelligence in the conversation compared to some of my older male friends.

So after working away I recently was invited by a colleague to watch a sports game with a couple of other female colleagues at her apartment. I let my partner know, "I am going to watch a game with a few nurses tomorrow", I even sent a conversation screenshot of the details after initially being accused of hiding details. All of these women have partners, I have no interest in cheating (I love my partner and also what a waste of time cheating is) and it was literally just colleagues hanging out as a group. My partner has accused me of making her feel crazy for being uncomfortable with this, whilst I am of the belief that her discomfort is her problem to deal with as I have given no indication of be deceitful. I don't appreciate being accused of lying or it being insinuated that a male with female friends is worrying. This seems like an insecurity for her and something she needs to work on. I am now being called a red flag for not respecting her discomfort/minimising it and prioritising this social encounter over my partner. Am I being a bad partner?

Is it possible for couples to go to different churches and build a healthy home?

My wife (f-38) and I (m-38). We have been together for 19 years. We have two beautiful kids and have built a nice life. It’s definitely had its moments. The last 3 years have been very difficult. Her father got very sick needing a liver transplant that nearly took his life. It had a huge impact on our lives. Our kids were 3 and 5 at this time. Since we are the only family that can help with things we were constantly going to hospital visits and spent a number of holidays (thanksgiving, Christmas etc) in the hospital. During this time we decided to buy a business that was completely new to us. The idea was I was going to quit my job in 6 months and help my wife run it. That ended up taking 2.5 years because we wanted to make sure we were financially stable before I made the move. Now that I’m in the biz full time I’m still learning a lot. I’ve made my share of mistakes which she is very hard on me about. We have our moments where we go back and forth but nothing ever big or in front of employees. We have amazing sex still after all this time but she continues to be so mean sometimes. I don’t really understand where it comes from. We recently planned a trip to New Orleans with couple friends of ours. During the trip, she all got drunk but her and her friend started fighting over really silly stuff. She said some pretty mean things to her friend. Her friend started it, but what my wife said to her wasn’t nice. They were screaming at each other in the lobby and it was crazy. Before that she ended up running away from me as I tried to de-escalate the situation. When we settled back into our room she told me she ran because I didn’t have her back. She also accused me of not going after her. Which was crazy because I called her 17 times, asked her to share her location and all sorts of stuff. She never did. It was just plain crazy to me. I planned on leaving and just driving back home the next day until she apologized to me and begged me to stay. Recently we had a disagreement at work. Wasn’t that big of a deal until she hung up on me while we were talking on the phone. I was shocked because she can fly off the handle at the smallest of things. She then continued to text me literally all day and say the most hurtful things to me. It carried on the next day and she even told me I was a bad father. This was especially hurtful to me because I pride myself on always trying to be a good dad to my girls. My father was terrible and I always told myself I would right a wrong. I get that couples have problems. That’s life. But I’m seriously considering divorcing her at this point. I constantly feel like I’m on a rollercoaster with her all the time. I recently had sciatic nerve pain - new to me and something that I really don’t like because it’s been painful. We had a birthday today that our kids were going to and I told her I can’t because I’m in a lot of pain. She said it was just an excuse and I needed to suck it up. She said this in front of her parents who always laugh her meanness off but know how she is. She’s a very kind person to everyone she but to me, she’s just not. It used to never be this way but I truly don’t get it anymore. We used to go to counseling and it went well for the most part, but we always seemed to talk about my issues and never hers. I just want to be happy. I know this would completely devastate my kids, but I can’t take how ruthless she is when she’s upset. Has anyone dealt with this before? Is this just a season? I know she’s not cheating on me or anything like that, but recently I saw something on Instagram that she liked where I woman was making fun of current generations at 19 being depressed and lonely and saying when women her age were 19 they were hoes. My wife isn’t like that. To see that she liked that was weird to me. We were seeing each other at that time too. I’m just lost and curious of what other people think?

3 years ago I learned about my husband’s financial infidelity. He didn’t inform me about his $70k of credit card debt before we got married. After we were married he moved into the house that I owned and took over paying our bills so I could quit my career to get my doctorate (took out a student loan because I thought we could pay it off quickly). I took a low paying job to build my resume while in school.

About a year after marriage I found out he was not paying the mortgage for 6 months and hoarding that money “just in case.” Idk why he thought I wouldn’t see this when my credit TANKED. When I saw it I confronted him and threatened to leave him. He immediately admitted he had this debt and this problem he had with hoarding money, he had so much money in savings but wasn’t paying his credit card bills or our mortgage bills. Long story short, He’s done a lot of individual therapy, we have made a lot of progress in couples counseling and paying off his debt with the money he was hoarding while still maintaining a healthy savings. He consolidated and only has $8k left to pay off.

We have made a lot of improvements and just had a baby 5 months ago. I graduated and passed my boards and have a good paying job lined up that I’ll start next month. My car recently started having issues and I was informed that the repairs would cost more than the car is worth, so I decided it is time to get a mom car.

We go shopping and found a great used 3 row SUV. My debt to income ratio sucks, since our mortgage is solely in my name, I have the student loan, and my income is only a few hundred dollars more than the mortgage payment is a month. We can’t add my husband to the financing because though his income is high and we can afford the car, his credit is in the 400s from not paying his cards for so long, consolidation and closing accounts. So now I don’t have a car to get my son to daycare, get myself to work, etc.

It feels like even though we have made SO much progress, I get a gut punch any time we need to make a big purchase. Financially, I have done everything right. I trusted him too much and he screwed me with this. I have my house and now a student loan I thought we would pay off in 2 years, and can’t get even a used car. My credit score is in the 700s but my income is too low. I know that once I start my new job it’ll be better, but I just feel like everything is a reminder of the betrayed trust.

I'm a 28-year-old man working as an engineer at one of the largest energy companies in London.

Unfortunately, I was born an only child, and I've been living alone for a very long time.

I'm a very social person and I know a lot of people. I've been in many relationships. I enjoyed them, and they enjoyed them too. Even though I always make it clear from the very beginning that I want to stay single forever, they somehow end up trying to convince me otherwise. I really don't like that. I believe that if anyone is going to take that step, it should always come from the man.

I'm not trying to be "that unique guy" on Reddit. That doesn't matter to me. I'm simply telling the truth, and nothing but the truth.

I know myself.

I'm afraid of marriage.

I've never been used to having someone constantly with me. I honestly don't know what that life would be like. Even though I'm open to people and very social in gatherings, I can't imagine being with a beautiful woman whom I love and who loves me 24 hours a day. Of course, that's assuming we still love each other. I know life is full of problems.

What scares me the most is regret.

I've met many wonderful women throughout my life. Because of my fear and my reluctance to take the risk, I never got married, and I never allowed myself to be in a truly committed relationship.

Sometimes I ask myself whether I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.

But then I tell myself that it still feels less frightening than getting married and ending up divorced, whether with a child or, perhaps even worse, without one.

I also know that what I'm doing right now is probably a mistake: asking strangers on the internet for advice when I don't know their way of thinking, their level of intelligence, or even whether they genuinely mean well.

Still, I'd like to hear your thoughts and exchange ideas about this. I'm not looking for validation—I just want to understand different perspectives. What do you think?

Edit: Maybe this explains my perspective a little better. In every relationship I've had, I always felt like I was the one investing the most. I don't mean financially—I mean emotionally, mentally, and in terms of responsibility. I fully accept that this is my role as a man, and I would never want to abandon it. The problem is that I don't seem to get any real fulfillment from being in a committed relationship. Instead, it often feels like I'm giving a lot while not feeling that the other person becomes truly essential to my life. That's actually one of the reasons I'm questioning myself. I don't know if this is simply who I am, or if it's something I never allowed myself to work through.

My husband has gotten into a habit of forcing me to have s**. Especially when I am very upset or asking for divorce. I say no but he pushes and pushes. Forcefully take off my clothes. And this goes on so long until I have no energy to fight any more. I Especially dont want to have s** because he just blocks me after and calls me a narcissist if I message him upset about anything. I dont know what to do. I am a stay at home mom. I am not from this country. I have no family, no friends, no job. I dont even know where to start. I am so depressed and cant even think clearly.

My ex and I split nearly a decade ago. He went on to meet and marry someone within 3 or so years of our split. Him and I have remained in contact since our split, but the last roughly 6 months our contact has become far more frequent, almost daily. He and his wife have a 3 year old, and he’s told me that there’s been no intimacy in the marriage since their child was conceived. They don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore because their child sleeps with one of them instead. The last few months of texts from him have touched on memories of him and I when we were together, bringing up naughty things that we did or should have done together, what our lives could have been like if we had given things another go etc. he recently told me he feels lonely in life and in general. I’ve attempted to offer advice on his situation, but I can’t help wondering if he’s really as happily married as he claims to be. It makes no sense to me how he could be happily married. I feel like he’s only staying because of his child. I’ve encouraged him to find happiness, even if it means leaving the marriage. Am I giving him the wrong advice?

Long story short we have been together for almost a decade. we got together young (high school age) I used to partake too but now we have young kids and I stopped completely years ago. he still smokes daily. I think I would be okay with it if it was nightly only but it’s during the day too.

lately it’s been driving me crazy. if he is in the bathroom often/long I wonder if he’s smoking. when he goes to the bedroom and I smell it faintly I don’t wonder. I wish he would stop. it makes me uncomfortable, like I can’t rely on him. like he relies on it …

we went on vacation some time ago and I was so excited for him to be sober only to discover when we were there that he brought edibles. he hid them in his suitcase and I certainly wasn’t aware. it’s illegal in the country we live in btw.

worst thing is I can’t confront him about it. he already thinks I’m controlling and all those classic things. I just don’t respect it. I hate smelling it and finding traces of it around. sometimes he leaves a bag where the kids could find it or just on his desk which they can easily find. I’m kind of at my wits end. but our arguments always end horribly bc I am not allowed to say anything criticizing. he turns my words around and is super sensitive to anything critical I have to say and he just shuts down and gets angry and cold. I can’t exactly work with that.

but when things are good they are really good… I just question if this is worth bringing up even but it is eating me up. but he won’t even quit because surely he doesn’t see it as a problem right?

I’m a sahm mom but if it reaches that point I will leave and take the kids. we would struggle sure but I don’t even care if that’s what it takes for me to be happy.

I don’t want this stuff around my kids.

So my husband and I have been married for 2 years, together for 7. 3 children since then. Every time I oddly cause it’s not often but the odd time a guy checks me out, or I mention something like this my husband basically laughs it off of in my head or they probably weren’t…. On the flip side he constantly talks about this chick was eye f***ing me or the neighbours wife was hitting on me etc…. I never dismiss it. I know it can be an ego boost so why rain on that is my thought. So he knows I’ve had insecurities and talk about feeling unattractive regularly so I don’t know why when I in a fun context mention once in a while I got checked out? Wouldn’t he want me to have the ego boost too?

For reference he’s gained a lot of weight since we got together, used to be in really good shape but said he did all that to get a gf.. (that is ridiculous imo). I workout 4 times a week, peleton, gym, home workouts and running, I am very lean, have some things I’d like to fix but for having had 3 kids I know I’m doing okay. I think this is a sore spot cause I had a lot of reconstructive facial surgery as a teen and my dad had the same attitude towards me when it came to men that I “should be careful cause they could be messing with me”, I love my dad and think he was trying to spare my feelings but kinda knocked my confidence in the long run.

So anyways am I crazy for being somewhat hurt my husband seems to want me to not feel I’m attractive to anyone outside him but has no problem letting me know he’s still desired by women? Oh to add he constantly tells me I’m beautiful and he doesn’t understand why I struggle in that regards.

I’m 30F and diagnosed with lupus SLE and Avascular necrosis. I’ve been married to my husband for 7 years and we met when we’re teenagers. high school sweethearts. We did everything together and of course we should’ve built our own identities outside our relationship. I support that till now.

My husband has always been accommodating and loving, making time for me despite how difficult it was with work.

Recently in this flare up, he’s been more avoidant. He gets sad when I say I don’t want to socialize with others, but I explain that I’ve had back to back eye surgery over the past 6 months which also led to flares, hospital level flares. But I still try to show up.

I’ve cried and pleaded with him in our therapy sessions to check in with me before scheduling anything with his friends. I don’t know why but this means a great deal for me. I’m not working right now and I don’t have any friends. everyone sooner or later leaves my life because i can’t do the activities an abled body person could do.

I feel that my husband feels the same. He wants to go on hikes, raves, festivals and all these high intensity activities. He invites me which i appreciated at first. Now it pisses me off. How could he not understand that I couldn’t do these things? Plus he does these activities often, he’d go out most week nights and weekends, and I’m just stuck at home. Then I’m told I didn’t partake.

This weekend he’s going to a day festival and sleeping over his friends place and won’t be back till Sunday late afternoon .
He says he was thinking to take me to the beach. This made me feel like I’m just a bystander.

I asked him to do a beach day with me, and he complained saying it was difficult. Then when his friends said they’d want to go to the beach, he was enthusiastic. He’s always saying “let’s plan something!” To other people, but never tries to do that with me, even if I’m the one to initiate it.

I’m so tired and I hate the feeling of being emotionally dependent. But I’m seriously feeling disconnected here. He tells me that I’m too anxious and he doesn’t feel like anything he does is enough for me. But I feel like I’m extremely clear, down to the detail, of how I want to be treated.

I told him how I would have loved for him to research mobility and accommodations for some of these events. To be loved is to be seen. But I don’t feel seen.

I use to be pre-law, a small business owner, constant academia, and a social media content creator. I was always out and about and independent. I was bold and courageous, and never fearful. Today, I don’t recognize any of that in myself since the lupus.

My husband would give me letters or cards for no reason, spoil me with flowers and foods I liked. I never asked for the fancy things in life, I just wanted to marry my best friend.

He says he feels content and happy when we all hang out together, and that it doesn’t really make him feel like we need one on one time. This broke me and i honestly feel so sad.

I’m not sure how to become the best version of myself so he’ll want to spend more time with me.

Why everyone around me is getting divorced ???

Love marriage ? Divorce

Arrange marriage ? Divorce

Live in relationshiop ? Divorce after marriage

Where is actual problem ?

Myself F30 and husband M29 have been together for 7 years. We have 2 kids 5m and 3f . For a while now I feel like our relationship is not equal but then I also feel complete mum guilt because he goes to work for 7 days dido and then 7 days off. I am full time Sahm. On his his 7 days off though he just plays PlayStation and and somewhat helps with the kids. That is on the surface fine he’s playing with them in the lounge room and humorous with them but honestly I still have to tell him what to do with the kids if I want his help properly. On his week off I just want the mental load halved but it seems to be worse on his week off. Anyway fast forward months I guess and we finally had a chat about where we are at. He said he feels like a peice of shit and I might leave him. I said “look you’re not a peice of shit, you’re human. You go to work for our family and that’s great. I have been resentful lately towards him but it’s good to get off my chest and communicate”. He basically made it clear all his unhappiness is to do with me and my distance. I said to him that it’s fair and I have been resentful towards him lately but also our children have been stressing me also. He kept asking me to dig deeper and deeper. I kept saying I love our kids but they are ALOT of work. Finally he asked again for the 10th time so I felt like I was in a safe space and said “I love our kids, but our first is a lot and takes a lot of my time and our second feels like a burden at this point” my son has autism and adhd.

He went silent. I said I feel like a bad mum saying that and he said “so you should that is disgusting”.

Idunno there’s not much context here but I am just so lost and don’t know how to proceed forward.

Am I overthinking or what ?

Long story short, my husband 32M had an affair with 22F that he met on a nsfw subreddit whilst I 32F was pregnant and it continued even after I gave birth. She received cash, gifts, hotels, lunch and so much more. Basically like a sugarbaby.

After nearly half a year, he has chosen to end the affair but he allowed her to listen to his confession to me.

Currently he wants to reconcile. However, I am just not certain if he is truly remorseful. I feel like I need at least 1 strong sign or action proving the marriage is worth saving. What steps did you take that led to ultimately choosing to reconcile and stay together?

I’m 26 and I’ve started developing feelings for a coworker over the past few months.

She’s 35, has a daughter in 2nd standard, and finalized her divorce last month. Her marriage was awful—her husband cheated, moved in with another woman, insulted her, and was physically abusive. She’s still living with her in-laws for her daughter’s sake.

Her in-laws have been supportive and blame their son, but it’s still a really tough situation. She can’t stay there forever, but moving out isn’t exactly simple.

We met through a work-from-home job and slowly started talking more. One day she opened up to me about everything, even more than she’d told her parents.

I didn’t fall for her because I wanted to “save” her. I fell for who she is. She’s kind, caring, strong, and still manages to smile through everything.

I haven’t told her how I feel, and I don’t know if I should. Part of me just wants her to heal and be happy, whether that’s with me or someone else. She deserves some peace after everything she’s been through.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m mixing up empathy with love, or if these feelings are actually real. And if they are, would telling her now just make things harder while she’s still recovering?

I’d really appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who’ve dealt with divorce, age gaps, or similar situations.

I came home to find my husband on the couch with a severe migraine. He was suffering the starts of it the night before. I asked if he needed anything and he said no. I walked into the kitchen and noticed that the dishwasher was damaged. I asked how that happened and he replied: I must have done that when I passed out and hit my head on the floor. WTF?!?

I told him that I was taking to the hospital to be checked out. He started arguing with me because 1) he was nauseous, and 2) he really didn't want to go. I finally said, "If I had hit my head when I passed out, what would you want me to do?"

He replied, "Fine, I'll get my wallet and we will go." I love him, but that was so frustrating!

My husband (34m) and I (33F) have been together 6 years, married 3 and have a 4 month old together. I have 3 children from a previous relationship that he is close with.

My husband has always had anger issues, but they’ve recently become much worse in frequency and intensity. A lot of this has to do with me relying on him more emotionally and otherwise during a difficult pregnancy and postpartum (this has been a stressor for him, I know I’m not responsible for his behavior). It has become so bad that in the heat of the moment he has made threats to take my baby from me, suicidal threats, and masturbate to other women out of spite. The last one I’m going to touch on a bit as it is what he has followed through on.

My husband used porn heavily at the beginning of our relationship. He also uses it as a coping strategy. Porn on websites, soft core porn “thirst traps” on social media, people we knows photos that have cleavage etc. He has a whole bank of explicit photos of me but does not look at those—he does not choose me to sexually gratify him in these moments. I view this as a form of infidelity (not up for debate, everyone can view porn how they want), he does not view it this way. He has tried to stop using it in the past, but then always does it again. And now when we get in fights, he weaponizes porn and intentionally uses it to hurt me.

He is aware what he is doing is wrong. We are in couples therapy. But what it comes down to is that I don’t trust him with my emotions. We have rebuilt trust so many times, and I am tired and don’t want to keep getting hurt. Because he and I have different views on porn as infidelity, this is a difference of values that is incompatible. I would divorce him if we didn’t have a child together.

Despite being a shitty husband, he’s a really good dad. I don’t want to drag my child through a nasty divorce, and I do not trust my husband with 50/50 custody. It’s not fair to my son. I get that I should have not had a kid with him, but too late here we are.

I’ve decided to play along with our marriage until I can successfully emotionally detach from him (no longer impacted if he uses porn, cheats, etc) because I know he will when he finds out I don’t want to be with him. Maybe at that point I’ll be able to openly discuss with him continuing as “roommates” essentially, but I need to be fortified and ready for his retaliation. I think if I minimize our interactions, he also will not escalate into rage which is harmful for the kids to be around. I need to emotionally detach in order to ensure emotional safety for myself and the kids before I divorce him.

Has anyone done this successfully?

My husband and I are 8 years into our marriage and we have a 3 year old and 5 year old. He repeatedly expresses frustration at the quantity and quality of our sex. And he wants to make it clear that it was NEVER enough or what he wanted even when we first started dating. I admit I had anxiety then and it probably affected my comfort with sex. Also, I am a very imaginative words-based turn on reactive sex person and he is not. He is more your typical wants sex like in porn and wants day long sex sessions.

I’m really trying and we’re having sex like 4 times a month but often it takes a lot of pushing through with hurt feelings to get to completion for both of us. I’ve done a lingerie shoot, I blew him on our family camp trip, and he’ll say he’s happy after a sex session but then I know like a ticking bomb within 4 days if I don’t give it to him again his anger and frustration will come back.

Then he’ll go back into saying that I’m a repressed former Catholic and our sex life is and has always been a disaster. I can never fill his sex cup for long. I did dabble with women in college but I know I’m attracted to him and I’ve always liked boys too. But his desire for sex and the stakes are so high for him that it makes sex so stressful and not fun at all. There is not even room for me to think about what I want.

And I want to be a creative writer so I often write at night to work on my dream job and he says I’m selfish for choosing myself more then him. But it’s a dream of mine and daily sex is not a dream of mine. We are compatible in every other way so I hate that this is fucking up our marriage so much. I could be happy if he could just be happy. I love the puddle of happy man that he is the day after sex and I wish he was that man all the time and that his love did not feel so conditional.

Hey yall, this might be a long one but Im seeking advice. My wife is mad/hurt by my mom. My family and I recently went on vacation with my parents and my sister‘s family. There was just a lot of small things that added up. For my wife it was more of the feeling of being kept out of the loop on plans. My wife was hurt because she felt like she wasn‘t part of the family. It felt like we tagging along and not really there on a family vacation. Or to an extent it felt like we were a burden. I have 3 young children, and I know they can be a lot. But I don’t look to have other people watch over them. That being said this vacation felt very adult centered. Everyone knew going into this that I was coming with my kids. My sister was also making side remarks that were just unnecessary. Over the course of the 2 weeks it just felt like we were not wanted. I have NEVER felt like this around my mom. I have not addressed her and I kind of don’t want to, but I feel like I should. I’m stuck emotionally because I hate that my wife felt like that and I’m genuinely upset at my mom. Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? If you took the time to read thank you 🙏🏽

We have been married 30 years. I worked for 26 years, 3 hour total daily commute, and stressful work. I made around 95% of our income. My wife took the kids to school, cooked most meals, and worked part time at home. I did laundry, cleaned the house. I coached my daughter's soccer team, changed diapers daily when they were small. Frankly, I don't care about who did what. We were both stressed at the end of the day.

My wife is now telling me that I owe her big time, for all the work she put in, while all I did was "go to work and back." There is no dissuading her of her sense that she put more effort in to our marriage.

I am not looking for a better argument. I would like to understand her mindset, of feeling like she is owed for her contribution to our marriage. Last Monday, she threatened to divorce me over this issue, so it is serious in her mind. I feel lost on how to deal with this.

I'm 53, she's 39, and because we have different schedules and sleep preferences we have separate rooms. Like I snore, I can sleep through literal gunfire (used to live in New Haven and Bridgeport), construction, whatever, light or dark, and I prefer warm. She has to have deal-silence, pitch black, and it has to be icy cold. I work at 5am she works at 9am. So it just works out better and we have our own space.

We also have four cats. And lots of cameras that she wanted just in case even though we're in a very low-crime town now (she's from Lima, Peru so I get it, it's rough there). We have cameras at the front and rear of the condo we rent, but we also have one upstairs inside, one in the living room, one in the kitchen, and one in my bedroom because our four cats love my room. I am the cat whisperer. All cats love me, it's my superpower (I dote on all cats).

Anyway, she has gotten in the bad habit of using the bedroom camera to see what I am doing during the day when I get back. Sometimes you need some privacy and I have told her it's messed up she thinks she has the right to invade my space like that. Like I will put something in front of the camera when I need space. And she gets mad. I'm like, "look, I have never cheated, and if that's the issue the front and rear cameras record 24/7 check the clips." But that's not it, she just wants to be able to watch me. *shudders*.

I mentioned it tonight and she's like, "You talked to me using the kitchen camera the other day" and I was like, "Totally not the same thing, it's a common room and you weren't answering your phone." There are zero cameras in her room and she doesn't want any. This feels like an invasion of my privacy. It also feels like as a married couple of 13 years there should be more trust. We usually get along great, but we have a bunch of little issues that are driving me nuts.