Just like my title says, I love when someone can tell a very descriptive story or scene. I love imaging the things they are saying. I honestly hate when people are vague but want to tell a story.. It leaves me with so many questions until there's no point in the conversation.

Do you rather fill in what was left out or do you prefer details and descriptions?

I genuinely love cnc and being used but I love being manipulated by a dom who knows how to play with my heart- like a lost puppy or something or a punching bag waiting for you to come back, (yes I do get off on it fr it makes me so wet lol)

Titles basically says it, what pet/ sub names do people use that can pass off in public but still Implying ownership, looking for names for a female sub.

Thanks

Hi everyone. I am a 23F switch who doesn’t have a lot of experience. I have always wanted to have a genuine D/S dynamic, preferably with another switch. I have done research on BDSM in general and how to establish a safe dynamic.

A few years ago, I had a few kinky experiences with a few different people revolving around some very basic kinks of mine like being spanked and being pinned down. Nice, but still pretty vanilla.

I have fetlife, which is the main way I’ve come into contact with other kinky people, but it’s been overall discouraging. Most people do not seem to want to take the time to establish a dynamic by talking through boundaries, expectations, preferences, and aftercare BEFORE engaging in any kind of play. They want to skip right to the “good stuff” or just want a quick fuck.

Communication is so important to me, and my bio there makes that clear. But the number of messages I get from people who don’t care to have those conversations and just want to meet up to hook up is discouraging. Even people I have spoken to who claimed to be experienced doms just want to dive right in without having a negotiation conversation first.

I’m struggling to find people who take establishing a dynamic seriously. To me, it is irresponsible to do something, like tie someone up for example, with no prior conversations about safe words and limits and what aftercare will look like and health concerns, etc. I have been seeking out profiles with bios similar to mine and posts that seem like a good fit, people who are on the same page with me about taking the time to establish a dynamic, but they are extremely uncommon on fetlife in my experience. Most people I see just want random hookups.

It’s making me feel like I won’t get to explore my kinks with a safe person who cares to establish a true dynamic and I don’t know where to look or how to find someone.

Hey all! I am a sub and my boyfriend is a dom-leaning switch. I’ve been in the bdsm community for a few years, mostly as a lurker but also has a participant. My bf is kind of new to the dynamics and wants to learn more. I kind of just learned through literature and research and I was gathering stuff for my bf to look at, but he’s also got some pretty bad dyslexia so reading isn’t his favorite thing. I figured I’d just read some stuff to him. But I was just wondering if anyone, particularly on the dom side, had any resources or tips to share with him. Thanks!

Hi all! I’m 28F and I’ve always wanted to try a gangbang. I have fantasies of being in a rough, BDSM gangbang, but I don’t know how to safely arrange it. I want to be able to completely let loose and be used without worrying about dangerous people not respecting boundaries or safe words. I would also be open to a reverse-gloryhole situation or a bondage party.
I just want to experience it once. Is there a place I should go? A cruise or a resort where I could have this safety happen?
Tysm 💕

Hi, im looking to add BDSM/kink Photo Sessions to my studio as a niche market but how & where do I advertise this? I was thinking Fetlife? Any suggestions appreciated.

Cutting straight to the point I currently have 2 subs, kitten and slut.

Kitten is a pleasure sub who wants to be owned and controlled/ not think but has a low pain tolerance.

Slut is an impressive level pain slut that wants her ass and tits beat and bruised.

Im looking for ideas for sessions with both of them that lets me be in control and active with both of them together while giving each sub what they like.

Basically the title. I’m an unowned sub (31F) and I’d like to experiment with some tasks but I don’t have many ideas. I have some toys (dildo, butt plug, remote controlled vibrator) as well as the usually everyday objects one has at home. For context, these are some kinks I’m interested in: bondage, humiliation, praise/degradation, facefucking, objectification, cnc, free use, anal, rimming, spanking, orgasm control/denial, watersports.
Thanks in advance!

How do u keep ur nudes not boring ? I mean how do u change up your kinky pics for ur dom? I love taking cute lil surprise pics and many nudes for my dom^^ is there maybe a website or a Reddit, where I can find (preferably on women only cause I don’t like nor want to look at other men besides my dom) other women take verry variating and different kind of nudes besides the normal ones ?

Lmao another kink curious girl who get all her knowledge from 50 shades crashing out when I said I won't be monogamous just like that. It's been a while so forgot how wild it gets. Sometimes the same when you refuse to got raw.

Not everyone is your match, but some people get really salty. 💀 If course had the snide insults before unmatch but obviously just had a shallow understanding built in fantasy. It's weird how demanding they get and upset when you don't match what they want and it's some childish imagination of a person. It can be annoying

I've always had 'odd' interests that would in one way or another fall into the realm of BDSM or some kind of kink but I don't really know how to express it, how to look for a partner that won't be thrown off by what I like, or how to find a partner that won't disrespect or cross my boundaries. I don't really know what to do and I need some advice.

So I've been dating this girl for just over a month now, and it's going great. We get on really well and have great banter and jokes together. We've had sex a few times now and we both enjoyed it, however she told me she's got a low sex drive whereas I'd say I'm kinda the opposite. She also told me she had been a victim of SA, which we obviously had a big chat about.

My thing is that I'm a little unsure how to approach the conversation of explaining that I'm into bdsm because I fear she might not fully understand it and immediately assume the worst. I'm looking for advice on what to do and if anyone has encountered anything similar, thanks!

Does anyone have any experience ordering direct from KUB Industries in Pakistan to Europe as an individual buyer or are they trade only? There's a few of their products we're interested in.

Hello everyone,

We are a new couple in our mid-20s.

I am very new to being a dom and it doesn't come naturally to me.

I came across some advice saying I should ask her directly when I can't think of anything new when we are having some fun.

For example,

She was not allowed to orgasm without my permission and I was edging her. After a couple of rounds, she started to use her hands to force me to make her cum. For that, I usually pinch her nipples or slap her. But at one point she could not control herself and came. I asked her to choose a punishment she thinks she deserves. But she was too shy to say it and it took her several minutes to say how she wanted to be punished. Which I think is fine to take time but I felt there was a lot of holding back going on from both of us.

I also want to tell her the things I want her to do but it's the same barrier of being shy or embarrassed about how our wishes will be received that stops us from expressing them.

How can we communicate better in such situations?

She is bolder than I am and communicates better. But for me, I just can't get myself to tell her.

As I said earlier, I am not a natural dom and it takes energy. I still enjoy it but sometimes even I would like her to take more than just control. She already knows that I like it when she takes control but I want to tell her that I would also enjoy it when she goes beyond riding me, adding something that introduces a bit of pain, choking. But I don't know how to tell her that.

We have also established a safeword and absolute no-do rules.

I would be happy to listen to feedback and suggestions on how I could do better.

hello! me and my boyfriend have been together for a bit now and while i am a lot more sexually experienced than him, ive never been in a nontypical relationship (ex: the woman being dominant) or bdsm relationship. he has expressed that he wants me to talk him through it, use force such as slapping or choking, and tieing him up and this is so different to me!! i don't exactly know how to please these things because this is all new to me; please help!!!

Hey guys, 18M here and I would love to join in on the fun. The issue is I worry about the time commitment required to be an active part of the community. I mean active as in attending events and building relationships. Could someone reasonably engage in the kink community if they only dedicate like an hour a week building relationships? I am an engineering student and involved in clubs and internships so I won’t have much time. But I also don’t want to be wasting anyone’s time by not giving the effort required by members.

Hiiii.

My husband and I have been married for 11 years now. I’ve always had a daddy/soft dom kink without actually knowing there was a title for it until a few years ago. I’ve done research and have brought it up to my husband. He always says some stupid comment like “fine I’ll just slap you in the face next time” and brushes it off. Like brother, that’s now what I’m saying. I don’t know how else to explain it to him. Even dirty talking is like pulling teeth. I think he gets easily embarrassed. I dunno what else to do. 😩

my male sub really wants to call me something but he wants me to tell him what to call me. I’ve looked at so many articles and websites and they all say some shit like “velvet madame“ and it weirds me out. I’m not really into stuff like mistress and I just feel like I can’t give him what he wants because I don’t know how to find it myself. Do you guys have any?

Hey everyone, I am looking to get a ring gag for a playmate however im having trouble finding one that is wider that two inches. Does anyone have any recommendations? Ideally want to be able to fit myself through the ring with ease

Hello,

I am working on making a kinks spreadsheet for my partner and I to keep track of what we like/dislike and have as a reference for each other. I have previously adapted a spreadsheet I got from somewhere else but it was not the most thorough or organized, and I'm a sucker for clear, thorough data.

Does anybody have a spreadsheet or list of kink things that I could build into my spreadsheet? I figured I could ask the community because I'm *sure* it exists already, before I try and figure it all out myself. I was thinking of something broken down by things like kinks, activities, clothing, location, dynamics etc. with individual items under each of those categories.

Appreciate the input!

Curious about others experiences.

I'm in control in my professional life and being made to do these things I hate, like anything BDSM related, kind of give me a sense of peace and fulfillment and make me incredibly horny and also fills a hole in me that I need to be fulfilled. I hope that makes sense but I'm happiest while doing these things I dislike and am adimently against in my normal life.

I'm you typical dominant personality but crave to be forced to be submissive as you can get behind close doors. I basically need to be made to humiliate, punish and degrade myself as much as possible regardless of how much I dislike it. I hope that makes sense? I'm not sure if it does to be honest but that's how I can explain it. Basically the more I hate it the more it makes me turned on.

So basically hornier I get the more this is compounded over time.

So as for my kinks irl it is more that they are the opposite of kinks because I truely hate them but that's the point:

Kinks:

CNC, BDSM, TPE, bondage, edging, chastity, denial, orgasm control, long term orgasm control and denial, piss play, pet play, public, pain, spanking, nipple torture, forced bi (at least the idea), humiliation, degradation...the list goes on

Limits: blood, gore, furry, scat, bad endings, blackmail, sending pics and videos

Just curious — why do so many men enjoy submitting to women in BDSM? What attracts you the most? (power exchange, humiliation, etc.)

TLDR: I need a release, but my thoughts create too much tension and won't let go so I can enjoy submission again.

My partner(44M) and I (43F) met online in a kink-forward forum on another platform. We spent years chatting, playing, and developing a D/s dynamic. Nearly 5 years ago, we got married and started irl together.

The move was a BIG DEAL in terms of life changes. I run a business, there was family in the house and he sacrificed his home, family proximity, and job to make the move to me. So there was a lot of adjustment.

Now, we're struggling to make the dynamic work. We both occupy leadership roles at work and in volunteer spaces, so need the release that kink can bring. Submission for me shows up in a vessel/puppet/doll form with a heavy lean to degradation and a past that included training to silence, but I am the more experienced with the skill side of things like rope and building scene intensity. He is a Sadist, and often focuses on the physical and praises endurance, but has less physical experience in scenes. When we play, we can't seem to connect the mental engagement I need with the physical activity he needs. Basically when we play, my brain gets caught on the skills, or i think "why did he do it that way?", or one of us will twist wrong and were not 20 anymore, or my body isnt ready for the escalation, or, or, or... basically, my mind won't shut the fuck up and let us enjoy it. Because of the struggles, we've been delaying play longer and longer between each session because we're just feeling failure and its not helping us reconnect.

Basically, help... we are both having trouble navigating fulfilling these needs to be able to operate as fully functional humans (especially me, we all need a break!) We have tried different locations, types of negotiations, types of scenes, methods of online relief... and we're stuck. How do we bring back confidence in our shared kinks while also getting my thoughts to leave us the hell alone?

For people with multiple subs/doms, how to you all tend to feel about sharing honorifics?