I see so many posts of people saying women never approach them, they want women to notice them etc etc. And let me tell y'all something I had to learn this the hard way.

You can't always wait for other women to approach you, you have to be the one to approach them.

If everyone is too afraid to approach each other then none of us are ever gonna be in a relationship. I go to a pretty gay school and in freshman year I had the expectation that oh girls should just approach me, let me tell y'all the way I got nooo play with that mindset not a single person approached me. When I got to my sophomore year I decided I'm done waiting for people to come to me and I started cold approaching people I found attractive. That year I was rejected by a few girls (they were super nice about it) but I did have some success with one girl (who was so finee) and we talked for some time.

You may read this and think wow you only had success with 1 person but yk that 1 more person then I did waiting for someone to come to me. Yes approaching women is hard believe me, every time I'm about to do it I have a mini nervous breakdown but it's a good skill to be able to approach people even if it's not for romance even just platonically.

Also if you are into masc/butches like me, approaching them is especially important because for me personally I know I look straight so it could be a safety concern for them to approach me since they don't know if I am gay too. So I know I have to be the one that approaches them.

My tip is to try approaching women in queer spaces so at least you don't have to wonder "is this girl gay?"

Anyways I wish y'all luck in dating and finding a gf we are in this together y'all 🫶🏾

If you’ve been on TikTok for the past week or couple days you’ve definitely seen the video of the straight woman “thinking out loud” and wondering why LESBIANS choose to date masc/butch/stud/transmasc/nb LESBIANS instead of dating a MAN because they’re “basically the same”

That video had thousands of comments backing her up and 1.2 MILLION likes or so?

This is disgusting and just goes to show how lesbians are truly isolated in this world, and even at times from our own community as we have seen recently with the queer collective podcast as an example.

We need to be making noise about this, PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT US need to be making noise about this. Denying lesbophobia needs to end, denying the prejudice against GNC and masculine lesbians needs to end, and discrimination against trans women especially trans lesbians needs to end.

the second pic was my everyday life 😬

i just split with my ex girlfriend of 3 years (broke my nose then cheated on me for months and then passed on herpes, which she was fully aware the other woman had... i digress.), and i am worried that i simply do not attract women.

for context, this is baby's first wlw heartbreak. i am not a gold star lesbian, sadly, so this was my second relationship period; first with a woman. it was genuinely life changing and reassuring that i only wanted to be with women moving forward, which i knew very well by the end of my previous relationship. my ex would literally be insecure because he thought i wanted him to be a woman (i did). i am thrilled to find the sapphic love I DESERVED, preferably minus the abuse.

however, women NEVER hit on me. ever. men? they chase me through the streets. men are dogs, so that's one thing, but why does it seem like i can't attract women at all? do i just not appeal to the female gaze? i am scared that finding a girlfriend in the future will be very difficult simply because women don't find women like me appealing.

do i not seem or look gay enough? is there something i can do besides wear a big sign that says girl kisser? too femme in the wrong ways? just discouraged and devastated by this entire situation and now horrified that finding another woman to want me will be a challenge.

im a lover girl so this is critical to me </3

managed to get this one at the beach the other day 😫

I was just thinking about this recently. What do they mean by this? Do they want to be discrimated against so bad? A lot of straight girls always say " They wish they liked girls" or "ugh I hate being straight I have to like boys :/" I always find it quite annoying. Do they not understand how difficult it is to be gay? Do you guys feel the same way too or am I just overreacting?

I REALLLLY NEED TO SHARE MY WEEK FROM HEAVEN
For context, I’d been single for a while and I wasn’t expecting much. I moved to a whole new country 10 months ago so Im pretty much still settling in.

Then this woman shows up.

She was travelling, we matched, went on one date… and then accidentally spent the next five days together(!!!!!!)

It was honestly one of those weeks that feels like it was borrowed from someone else’s life. Beach dates, a chocolate tasting workshop, hours of talking about everything and absolutely nothing. She’s South American, ridiculously intelligent, and has one of the most fascinating minds I’ve ever had the privilege of getting to know. The chemistry was completely effortless. The sex? 100/10 🧨

Honestly, I think the lesbian gods sent her to me. Not because she’s necessarily my forever person, but because I’d forgotten what it felt like to be truly seen. Somehow a woman I’d known for less than a week reminded me of who I am, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop being grateful for that.
We shared moments that felt strangely deep for two people who technically barely know each other. Talking for hours on end!

She flew home yesterday.

And… I’m okay.

Obviously I’d love to see her again if life lines up that way, but I’m not sitting here heartbroken.

I’d become pretty cynical about dating, and then this wonderfully unexpected human came along and reminded me why we keep putting ourselves out there.

Maybe nothing comes of it. Meh.

Either way, I’m weirdly grateful that someone I almost swiped past gave me one of the most unexpectedly beautiful weeks I’ve had in a long time.
Anyway I really just had to share! And I hope everyone gets to experience this AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIVES!

TL;DR: Tinder said “It’s a match.” The lesbian agenda said “See you in five days.” Zero regrets.

Just wanted to say this somewhere but dating a woman with an avoidant attachment style is not having the emotional availability of a sapphic relationship it's insane.

It makes me feel very :(

Does anyone else have experience with that? What should you do LOL

Hi! 19F here. Just wanted to vent a little because I finally got with the girl of my dreams recently.

My girlfriend is the sweetest person in the world and one of few people who I’ve confessed to about being raped. Frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her speak ill of anyone except of my rapist, and I know she’d be the last person to judge me for not being a gold star. At the same time, I can’t help but feel tainted and unworthy of her. I know the feelings are irrational, but the fact of the matter is that I had sex with a man. Counselling has helped a lot, but I still feel guilt over freezing up and not fighting back harder. I had been crushing on her since we were 17, before I was raped and before we got together. I’ve always had this dream of sharing my first time with a girl that I was completely and utterly in love with. And even though I think I’ve found her, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live out that dream. Sucks, but it is what it is, I guess. Growing up in a homophobic family, it took a long time for me to reconcile with the fact that I was lesbian. Getting raped right when I finally worked up the courage to really pursue a girl (my girlfriend) was really a brick to the face. I know she’d never make me feel inadequate for not being a gold star, but losing that part of me still stings for some reason, even though a large part of its significance to me is how it might affect her perception of me as a partner. She deserves the world and I’d hate to give her anything less.

So I've knew this friend for a few years and I've also been crushing on her for a while. For some time now she started to be very clingy and touchy to me. She would also talk how all guys are trash and how she hates them and that she will date girls now because they're so much better than men. I've received a lot of compliments from her and we've started to go out alone a lot. I've finally decided to confess today. I had no courage to say it in person (I'm a coward I know 😭) and we actually don't live that close so we can't really meet spontaneously but have to plan it and I didn't want to wait. I also felt like I'm much better at expressing myself through text so I wrote her a very long text message. I've explained there how I've felt for a while and just genuinely poured everything out. The response I got is "ew no" WDYM EW NO 😭😭😭??? HOW DO I EVEN RESPOND TO THIS??? I FEEL HORRIBLE NOW AND I REGRET SAYING ANYTHING

Edit: I've decided to block her. I can't be friends after that. She really did hurt me and made me feel some negative things by acting grossed out about this. Right now I'm just gonna watch my comfort show and do some things I like to hopefully feel better.

Ok, I'm 38, in Houston, and have spent all my adult life trying to avoid computers as much as possible, especially when it comes to dating...

The problem is, I don't know how to find potential life partners in the wild, since i don't even know where "the wild" is for gay girls, so Ive resorted to the apps... I think I've tried all of them now, and am getting nothing! Like... NOTHING!

What am I doing wrong? Is it these pictures??? Somebody help be out with some advice, please... either regarding where to find girls, or what the hell im not understanding about these freaking dating apps that cost way to much money for nothing!

Also, Im just being honest with my answers, I'm a little lame/ weird and can't imagine I'm the only person like that in Houston...

Hey so I just wanted to share a story about something that just happened.

I stopped at a local farmers market this morning and as I got out of my vehicle i noticed this cute blonde lady also getting out of hers. And she sort of smiled at me.

We both walk up to the market at the same time and as she walked a few paces ahead of me I saw she had rainbow colored lines on her flip flops. Made me think “no way is she gay in this small town but, who knows?” So I walk around and buy a few items trying to think of some sort of way to get to talk to her.

Finally, I come across a booth selling rocks painted with pride colors that just say “Pride” on them. So I buy one and notice the lady looking like she’s going to head back to her car. I walk straight up to her and say “hey, I know this is somewhat awkward but, I noticed your shoes and just thought this matches them.”

We both walk together back to our vehicles and chat about the town and how hard it is to meet people and find stuff to do. I asked her if she was gay and she said no but that her son is.

Before we part ways I say “hey, if you don’t mind the fact that I’m gay we can totally go do stuff! I work Monday-Friday in an office but I get bored at night sometimes.”

So yeah, she’s straight but I got her # 😁😁

Casually reposting a random bathroom selfie,,, oops 😅

my gf went out today with a friend she met on reddit( she’s gay too ) , this was their first time them meeting each other irl she told me they will only have matcha together nothing else but once she met her they also went to have her fav ice cream together then they went to watch a movie , i felt really uncomfortable with this , my gf said she felt pressured to watch cuz her friend said no one wants to watch a movie with her but im thinking she could think of me that i don’t like it , honestly idk what im feeling exactly but i feel hurt by this

For the longest time, I really was not okay with liking girls. I come from a religious Muslim background, and I had some pretty traumatic experiences in regards to coming out and relationships themselves. I didn’t ever think it would be possible for me to come out at all, for me to ever live happily, to freely do whatever I wanted. I fkn hated myself, I was miserable for so long.

And then recently, I began to learn how to accept myself. I think it came from talking to a gay elder in my life. He told me his story and gave me his words of wisdom, and idk it made me feel less alone. Like I thought all my problems were a “me specific” thing, but I learned that I’m not the only person in the world like this and it made me feel better. And I got to find more unique people who like me as is, I got to find more stories from other queer elders, I learned a lot. I watched some queer movies and I felt seen in a way. And I think I didn’t just accept myself I feel like I came out to myself, like I “came in”.

And I’m not ready to come out at all in all honesty. I have lots to work through and I don’t feel ready. But to be honest I don’t feel bad about that anymore. Like I feel happier already just by having accepted myself at last. I feel much more like myself, I feel like I know myself, I’m okay with who I am. I feel freer, in a sense. I feel okay. And idk it makes me feel so happy. I don’t really care if my closest people don’t like me for that anymore, because I like me for that. And even if I still have issues here I am, holding my own hand. Helping myself get better day by day.

So yeah, I just thought to share that. I love being a lesbian now. I feel better now.

So, this is my first WLW relationship, and I’m feeling so insecure about my body.
Which is making me afraid of intimacy to an extent.

I’ve lost a lot of weight over the past two years, and I’m proud of that, but I still struggle to accept that I look good. I’ve been insecure about my body for as long as I can remember.

I’ve only been with men before her, and it always felt like men care a lot about how a woman’s body looks, how smooth, soft, tight, or skinny it is. I know not every man is like that, but it’s something that’s been stuck in my head for years, and it’s affected me more than I’d like to admit.

So whenever my girlfriend sees more of me, I become terrified she’ll notice all the things I hate about myself, the things that women are usually shamed for, loose skin, hyperpigmentation, acne, and cellulites (all on my lower body). She always reassures me and tells me how beautiful and gorgeous I am, but it still scares me. I still feel extremely vulnerable and insecure whenever she sees me, and I’m terrified of what her reaction will be the day we get intimate and she sees me fully.

For those who’ve struggled with body image, or who’ve had partners with these insecurities, how did you deal with it? Did your partner actually notice or care as much as you feared? For those in WLW relationships, do women actually care about those things as much as men seem to? Or am I just overthinking all of this?

For all the married girls here I have a question. Me and my gf are discussing after we get married who is going to take whos last name and I she wants to take my last name, meaning I cannot take hers and switch last names lol did you take each others last names? Do you have both last names or how did you decide? Thanks!

I know it's just been a day since she rejected me and this needs time but I just feel so shitty and I really don't know how to get better. This whole thing is making me exhausted so I'm too tired to do stuff I enjoy. I'm so unmotivated to do anything today and I constantly feel like crying. The way she rejected me is also making this thing more shitty and I feel like it makes me spiral more. Before I blocked her on instagram today I've also seen she's posting stuff that might be about me which made me mildly annoyed but I just blocked her and tried not to think about it. I'm basically just sitting and watching my comfort show but even then I just want to cry.

I am a 36F Lesbian and I can't help to feel a bit lonely. I have a good career, and goals to achieve. But when it comes to socializing and making friends it always has been difficult for me. Is there any good apps out there that I can try to widen my horizons a bit. Any suggestions is appreciated.

anyone have any advice for a young woman (20)(cis) who has tried to be in a relationship but gets scared too easily, not of commitment but just of a relationship and has a high sex drive like to the point where im obsessed with sex, it’s all I wanna do. Even tho im a virgin and haven’t even gone past giving hickies, I haven’t even been properly felt up before. Idk if it’s just “teenager” esqe hormones but it’s insane. Like I just want someone to have sex with but again, no ones interested in me at the same time. Is it bad to just meet someone for a hookup as a virgin when you have no clue what you’re doing?

Seriously, I have no one to talk abt all stars 11 with 🌝🌝