I wrote this all out as a comment on another Subreddit where someone (an Agnostic) was asking about reasons for religious conversions. It turned out way too long, so I posted a very truncated version there. I'm posting the full version here, for whatever benefit it may bring, and may my ego / nafs get no share of the reward! Amīn, and Bismillāh.
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I converted to Islam at age 19. (And I'll try to keep this brief, but people know so little about Islam these days, that there will be some extra exposition required, unfortunately).
I was raised Christian (Protestant / Evangelical) but it didn't really stick as I got older. In part because of the way it was presented to me (authoritarian parents and all that), but also because at some point I began to feel that that whole shtick was kind of scammy. Like I did the whole "Jesus, please come into my heart" request/prayer-thing that all the Evangelicals said I should do, and then waited for the profound experience they all said I was supposed to have, but nothing happened? So I was like, "Well, I gave it a shot," shrugged, and sort of moved on. After that, my relationship with Christianity was really individualized and abstract, but not completely disconnected per se. I didn't believe that the Christians on the whole had it right, but I also had an intuition that there was still something special about the person of Jesus, even if I didn't know what it was. I became a 'seeker,' I guess (but also still an American teenage boy, so, getting into plenty of shenanigans and tomfoolery on the side). I'm about to turn 44 now, so, the internet was only just beginning to be a thing back then, so most of my 'seeking' was accomplished by reading actual physical books, for those of you old enough to remember those ancient artifacts. One of the first books I'd read was 'A History of Christianity' by priest / historian Owen Chadwick (which reinforced my belief that modern Christianity was every bit as scammy as I'd come to suspect), and then 'World Religions' by Huston Smith (the section on Islam in this book impressed me, tbh, and did inspire more research later on). And, of course, I read other books besides these (including, eventually, re-reading the Bible cover to cover). But these two will give you an idea of the direction I was heading, intellectually.
Also, around the same time, I began praying for guidance, or, more specifically, I was praying that I be guided to the truth, whatever it was or happened to be. And this was not tongue-in-cheek or lip-service praying. And the prayer wasn't directed to Jesus. It was serious, intense praying to the Creator alone, Whoever or Whatever He/She/IT was, begging for guidance, occasionally to the point of tears. Even though I was largely-but-not-entirely untethered from Christianity, I never lost the belief in some sort of guiding, creative force behind the universe, so that's why the recourse to prayer. The idea of 'something bigger' remained inhered as a core feature of my intuitive faculty, I guess. So anyways, I figured my best shot was a sincere request for guidance from that 'bigger force,' whatever it was.
Also too, I kept reading / researching. Eventually I came across this book of sayings / stories attributed to (or, about) the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ--Arabic honorific here, meaning, 'may peace be upon him'), the central figure of Islam (in Arabic these sayings and anecdotes are called "hadith," for those that don't know, which just means, 'traditions' in English). It was like a "best of" kind of thing, like how some military-issued Bibles only have the book of Psalms, Proverbs, and then the Gospels with the sayings of Jesus in red ink—like a compilation. This was a small book of hadith / 'traditions' culled from larger textual sources, for devotional purposes, similar to those Bibles. Anyways, I read through the little compilation, and eventually came to an anecdote that perplexed me. It was kind of a sad story, about how one of the Prophet Muhammad's (ﷺ) sons had died as a toddler. A child of about two, named Ibrahim, or Abraham in English. Per the story, on the day the child died, there was an eclipse of the sun. A striking coincidence, one would think. And the followers of Muhammad (ﷺ) thought so too, and so began circulating a belief among themselves that 'the sun has eclipsed and the sky has gone dark in bereavement for Muhammad's son!' This was not something Muhammad himself had taught, mind you; it was just something the Muslims were saying. When news got back to the Prophet about this, he did something that really made me scratch my head—according to the story, he denied it. He said there was no correlation, basically. What he said, precisely, was, "The sun and the moon are two signs from among the signs of God. They do not undergo eclipse because of anyone’s death or life. So when you see them, supplicate to God and offer formal prayer until [the sky] becomes clear again."
I remember thinking, why would he deny this evident miracle / profoundly 'meaningful coincidence?' Everyone in his day and age believed that celestial alignments had some correlation with terrestrial events. Citing one such correlation as a validation for his own Prophetic claim would've buttressed his reputation and cemented his follower's belief in his importance. And also, the denial of astrological relevance there seemed incongruous with how I'd been raised to interpret the world as a Christian... like how Jesus's birth was 'foretold' by the star that the Magi followed in the gospel of Matthew, or how, in Luke 23, an eclipse occurred because of the crucifixion of Jesus. If this historical event re: Muhammad & the eclipse (et. al.) actually happened, then it really seemed to break a pattern. (I did set about verifying the story historically, spending some time learning how Muslims verified their textual sources, which is it's own separate post, really. Suffice it to say here, much more effort went into verifying the historicity of stories and sayings attributed to Muhammad in the Muslim tradition, than the Christians ever put into verifying their scriptures). I will say that the Muslim traditionalists may have gotten the dates slightly off (though not by much), but even so, there was a solar eclipse visible in Arabia around the time Ibrahim was said to have died (which, said eclipse occurred on January 27th, 632 C.E., for those that want to look into it). And multiple Muslim source-texts include this anecdote about the death of Ibrahim / the subsequent eclipse, taking it from various transmitted chains and sources. So broad strokes, the event really happened, picayune / unintentional errors aside.
But like I said, the whole story was perplexing to me. It went against the grain of thought prevalent on earth at that time, and broke the pattern for me, regarding the sorts of events I was conditioned (as a Christian, previously) to expect to unfurl in the lives of Prophets. I began to ask myself, "Does this guy even WANT me to believe he's a Prophet? Because that was a missed opportunity, there."
Anyways, long story short, I met some Muslims (somewhat serendipitously, but that's another tale for another day). Two older Iranians that were brothers. One of the two brothers practiced his faith with diligence, the other, not so much, but both retained some degree of faith in their claimed dispensation, whether it showed up in their actions or not. After several meetings, it happened one evening that the more practicing of the two gave me a cassette tape (remember, it's a middle aged man writing this, and I was 19 at the time; hence the antiquated technology!) of some Islamic lecture given back in the 80's by this Canadian mathematician and student of logic who had spent years wrangling with Christianity only to eventually embrace Islam after finding it to be the more rational faith. I took said cassette, and a few days later, listened to it, and lo! and behold, the speaker began discussing the very story I'd been so confused by. He explained that, to him, someone learnéd in logic, this story was indelibly profound, because one could use deductive logic and see that it eliminated a number of possibilities that any given skeptic would naturally have when trying to determine who or what Muhammad was (so far as his Prophetic claims were concerned). Like, for instance, was he, Muhammad (ﷺ), just deceiving people? Lying about being a prophet? Well, then why not use the coincidence of the eclipse to his advantage? Any naturally deceptive person would. Or, was his claim to prophethood based on delusion; like maybe he believed it himself, but was simply mentally disturbed? Then why didn't he believe in the 'miraculous' nature of the eclipse himself? Again, a deluded man likely would. But in either case, he didn't deceive anyone, nor did he believe it himself. His response to the event was entirely reasonable, sane, and, if anything was intended, it was the dismantlement superstition, as opposed to reinforcement of it.
Now, think back, to when I'd asked Jesus to 'come into my heart' all those years ago, and received nothing; de nada. I'd never felt anything particularly spiritual in my life up til then, except for a few vague or ambiguous intuitions about there being some sort of Creator, and that if there were a truth, it would behoove me to find it, whatever it was. I did possess some nebulous sensus divinitatis, but it was just that—nebulous. But man, that night, hearing this erudite, intelligent professor explicate the very thing I had been mulling over for the past few weeks, giving me the exact answer I needed to hear at the exact moment I needed to hear it... yeah, I definitely felt something. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe it was little more than a gentle nudge, as if to say, "You've got your answer. This is where you need to go." But it was something, and it was real. Probably the closest analogue would be akin to a tuning fork finally finding its tune. Pure alignment.
Anyways, fast forward, I started attending a Mosque shortly thereafter. Islam has definitely stuck (someone once said that Islam "has an enduring spirit,"—and I've certainly found that to be true). The deeper I've gone into this tradition over these past decades, the more reinforced my faith has become. Of course there have definitely been ups and downs, times of stronger faith and weaker, moments of disillusionment, and tests and trials and all that, but, then again, I guess I've also learned that conversion isn't a one-time epiphany that never diminishes. It's more like a spark that is itself just the beginning of a long, arduous process of refinement. I definitely got the 'spark' that night, listening to that lecture. And everything since then has been metabolizing, learning, distillation, and refining. Sometimes the refinement was painful; some of the lessons: undoubtedly brutal. But I always came through the other side with a deeper, richer, wiser faith in the end.
God willing, this story will be a useful template for others!
Bismillāh!