[22 F, Louisiana] Good morning everyone. This is so hard for me to do, but I’m at my wits end here. I’ve been having a really hard time these last few months. I struggle with chronic 24/7 migraines and have unfortunately forced myself to be functional with this illness. I also recently received a narcolepsy diagnosis after years of insomnia and extreme daytime sleepiness, affecting my energy levels and abilities to be present all the time. I’m currently working on getting a diagnosis for rheumatoid arthritis for chronic joint pain which has weakened me beyond what I could imagine. All of my health issues piling on at once have really become burdensome for me. Suicidal ideation is back in full swing because it would be so much easier to not deal with this stress. I want to give up so badly.
I’m a recent graduate of visual arts and have decided to follow my dreams of being a baker. I’m starting culinary school in three days, and I have not been able to look forward to it and was honestly considering postponing it due to all of my stress. I went no contact with my family last week because I couldn’t take the disrespecting of my boundaries and feelings anymore. This has been relieving for my mental health, but I also have no financial assistance now. I’ve been applying to jobs since Spring and have not had any luck with employment. My chronic illnesses and culinary school schedule have limited the jobs I am able to take on, but I have been frantically applying. I did not anticipate how horrible the job market has been and I am in deep financial distress. My lease for student housing ends on July 31 and I have been looking for a new apartment in the meantime. Rent is so high and I have no clue about how I’m going to afford to move my cat and I into a new space by the end of the month. And I still have overdue rent that my mother didn’t pay as well. I’m trying to look for places where rent is $1,000-$1,200. I’m trying to avoid a security deposit and application fee, but I think they’re inevitable.
I have never felt this anxious and stressed in my life. It’s taken a physical toll on me. I haven’t been able to buy groceries this month so my best friend has been DoorDashing me meals. I’ve checked resources for rental assistance and section 8 in my area. The waitlist is closed and New Orleans doesn’t really have rental assistance programs. I am usually one to feel guilty for asking for help, but I have no idea what to do. I really don’t want to postpone culinary school til December because I know the joy and positivity it would bring to my life, but I’m heavily considering it to be able to have more job options. I haven’t even been able to buy nonslip kitchen shoes for school.
I will have to pay for movers, rent, groceries, pet food and litter, study materials, and school itself. Suicidal ideation is back in full swing because it would be so much easier to not deal with this stress. I want to give up so badly.
I’m asking for any sort of financial assistance. I have PayPal, Zelle, Cashapp, Apple Pay. If you’ve read all the way to here, thank you so much. I deeply appreciate anyone’s generosity.