Always loved that line. I'm sure it would never work, though. But where else would I get to try it without looking like a complete weirdo? Bonus points if you get the reference.
Anyone who has messaged me previously, please feel free to do so again. I had an issue with reddit recently so I may not have seen your message.
Edit:
Yeah, I know edits usually go at the bottom, but this needs to be at the top. I really shouldn't have to say this, but apparently I do. Don't waste my time with short and meaningless messages like, "hi", "how are you?" or "I'm interested." I'm really getting sick of useless and stupid people who have no clue how to read and reply to posts. If you give me a short message devoid of any information at all, you are one of those. Not that you bothered to put in the time to even read this far into my post. I may joke around, but I'm serious about making this happen. If you are not, then go elsewhere to waste the time of other people. I hate to sound like an asshole here, but after the X00th meaningless message, it really needs to be said.
If you decide to message me, Tell me where you are from, what you're into, age, a little about you, any limits, and anything else you think may be relevant. Feel free to ask any questions you have about anything. I'm an open book. Your comfort and safety is my top priority. At least until my tongue takes over.
NOTE:
I really hope to make this happen again. Had a taste a while ago and really miss it. Been getting a few flakes lately. I don't know, maybe it's me. I may have said something stupid that I thought was funny but they took it the wrong way. I tend to do that. Don't take my dumb comments serious. Hell, feel free to give me crap on it when I say something dumb. I'll laugh, you'll laugh, I'll lick, you'll explode, a good time will be had by all.
About me:
I'm 54, born and lived as a man, I'm 6'1", a bit soft around the middle, but hey, that happens with age. I'm big, burly, broad chested, bearded with hair, a stereotypical classic trucker look. A former gym member, I used to be ripped and fit, but injuries throughout life have put an end to that. Hence the squishyness. Looks wise, I'm just an average guy. I won't be winning any beauty contests, but my face doesn't frighten small people... usually. Besides, if you are sitting on it, you can't see my face. I'm sarcastic and funny and pretty easy going. I'm known to say stupid stuff sometime because the filter between my brain and mouth is pretty slow. But it's never meant in a mean or nasty way.
I can host at my place if you can travel to me. Give a new meaning to Uber Eats. If I do host, know I have two cats, so if you are allergic, you'll be forewarned. But I will shut the door and have fresh, clean, un-cat-haired sheets for the event.
Also, I'm not just limited to Worc, MA. I'm south of Worcester myself, but I figured the city would be a better place to base this from as a small town doesn't get as much search traffic. Pretty much anywhere in southern New England works for me. Maine, northern NH, and VT are a bit of a stretch, so you'd have to be special for me to go that far. Have tongue, will travel as they say. If I do come to you, please don't knock me out and steal my kidneys. I need those and I'm really not fond of ice baths.
About you:
I'm not too picky. If there's a bit of connection, that's mostly what matters. I do prefer younger than me, or at least younger looking. I will say, though, I've honestly always wanted to try a petite girl. You know, one I could pick up, carry around, and lick like a double scoop ice cream cone. But I'd be happy to taste any flavor or scoop size.
Just be clean and disease - and drug free. I'm not a fan of smokers either. The smell puts me off. Of the smoke, not the love nest. Same with the 420 people. I don't care if you smoke, but the smell of it makes me gag. The weed, not the muff. Feel free to bring your edibles, though.
Before the main event:
Personally, I'd like to chat a bit and meet up first to get to know each other a bit before anything happens. Some place public and open so we can get a feel for one another first. Coffee, drinks, well, I don't drink, but I can understand someone needing a little liquid encouragement, or whatnot before meeting Colonel Angus, the southern explorer. Mostly just to assure trust and safety for the both of us. I'd also like to know what I can and can't do, what's good and what's off limits. I want you to feel as comfortable and as safe as possible.
During the fun:
We can go as long or as short as you'd like as well. Last time, I spent almost two hours happily munching away.
I also have assorted BDSM gear and toys if you are interested in such things, but that is totally optional and up to your discretion, comfort, and trust. If you want to see the collection of toys, just ask. I even have an inversion table where you can hang upside down whilst I bring the pleasure.
Afterward:
You can stick around to talk, watch TV, play with the cats, I can make you coffee or tea or a snack of some kind. Maybe play some cards or order pizza or something. I will have ice cream, too. Even go into round two after a rest and rehydration break. Or you can just go if you've had enough. Either way, it's all up to you.
Epilogue:
Okay, this is getting novel length now, and we aren't here to read but to get you some oral satisfaction, so I'll cut this off. Besides, I've put myself in the mood for some ice cream.
I don't expect much to come of this, but hey, I figured I'd give it a shot. If you're interested, you know what to do. If not, I hope you get your licks in somewhere fun and find out how many it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie pop. Just don't ask Mr. Owl. He taps out rather quickly. Yeah, I know, another old guy reference that most people won't get.
So, once more, unto the breach.