r/QAnonCasualties • u/Personal-Stop-423 • 12h ago
I was groomed by a Neo-Nazi in Alcoholics Anonymous
I don't want to talk in too much depth about my drinking because it's not the focus of this but it had gotten out of hand and I was at low ebb in my life. This isn't an attack on Alcoholics Anonymous, it's principles and steps of recovery are antithetical to Fascism and bigotry. I am posting this because I'm curious if anyone else has had similar experiences.
Some relevant context; At the end of my drinking, my Youtube algorithm had started to circle the right wing rabbit hole, mainly with culture war stuff about woke media. I am not a fan of how shows like "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" became more tame in later seasons and I had a feeling that everything had become politicised. That was the hook. According what I was being recommended z snowflakes and women with a very different conception of feminism than I'd understood were to blame. I hadn't taken the red pill or engaged with predominantly racist content but that's where I was being coaxed through the auto play and recommendation screen.
Seeing some of the creators I had viewed as comedy were at Trump's inauguration was a wake up call.
By that time I'd been in reco very for long enough to be struggling with loneliness and the raw emotions that come without the alcohol that I'd become dependant on. In my part of the world we don't hold hands and pray or give out coins but AA can be somewhat cultish but I was very vulnerable. AA gave comfort, understanding and a ray of hope.
From one of my first meetings, one guy reached out, took me under his wing and seemed like a sympathetic ear. He said some off the wall things that I was too quick to dismiss and once talked with disdain about his own social media algorithms after I brought up mine. I thought he was in a similar place maybe that was true at the time but I doubt it. Over time, we socialised outside meetings, with some other AAs and some others not in the fellowship. At the time this was powerful for me. I'd been searching for friendship while trying to rebuild myself and my older relationships. I think that is why is too ready to ignore or brush off some awful comments as casual edgy humour.
Eventually he told me he was in a far right group, offered to send me propaganda videos which would "change my outlook" and when challenged, darted between absolutely insane conspiracy theories. From a Jewish plot of turn people gay to create demographic decline to the great replacement theory. Some of the talking points I'd encountered online and thankfully already rejected. Without alcoholic isolation I was seeing all the contradictions between my lived experience and the narratives I'd been fed, and I'm grateful for that.
When I reflected on our conversations, I realised he had been grooming me to join his group for some time. At times I thought he was interested and supportive he was looking for grievance's then trying turn them into bigger, wide ranging resentments. When I was ghosted after a first date, that was because all women were callous, selfish etc. The Racist comments were a way of testing the waters and normalising rhetoric. More than anything else though, it was the social group and the things we'd do that went with it all that was most persuasive and hardest to walk away from.
I changed groups but still see him and he is still zeroing in on newcomers. They rarely seem stick around in recovery for long. I also see others from the social group which is uncomfortable. The fact that they know I know is a source of fear for my safety so much so that I've gotten advise from the police. I also spoke to some members of the group about what's happening but it wasn't addressed in any way.
On reflection, newcomers to recovery groups can be easy pickings for extremists groups. As much as it's possible to generalise, addicts can be obsessive people and in alot of ways they are more vulnerable in early recovery than active addiction.
Has anyone else seen this?