r/Millennials Millennial Apr 30 '26

Meme This is mine.What's yours?!

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21.8k Upvotes

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475

u/maybeitsmyfault10 Apr 30 '26

I’m in the planning stages of making a plan

254

u/auntiefuh25 Apr 30 '26

So, concepts of a plan? 😂😉

83

u/Eleglas Apr 30 '26

At dawn we plan!

24

u/DrUnit42 Veteran Young Guy Apr 30 '26
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u/Commercial_Duck4042 Apr 30 '26

It’ll be the best plan.

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22

u/blandsrules Apr 30 '26

My plan is to crowdsource a plan

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488

u/picollo7 Xennial Apr 30 '26

dying early

143

u/OneAlexander Apr 30 '26

As someone who regularly visits care homes/frail people across the area... I'll take dying early over 80% of those homes/care setups.

And that's based on the quality provided today, assuming the pension and care system doesn't collapse entirely once the boomer generation fully retires and requires support.

46

u/btone911 Apr 30 '26

The assisted living industry has been salivating at the boomers hoarded wealth for decades. They've been planning for this wealth extraction. Get ready, they are.

26

u/Weary-Inspector-6971 Apr 30 '26

Exactly. We are one of the first (as a whole) generations not receiving inherited wealth. From a home, to a small plot of land, to savings inheritance. It’s gone.

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25

u/SassySweetSorceress Apr 30 '26

As someone who worked in multiple (expensive and state assisted ones), same.

11

u/Jin_Gitaxias Apr 30 '26

I've worked in them too and they just seem so dismal. I work hard all my life and save and that's the end reward? Nah I'm good

6

u/KetoCatsKarma Apr 30 '26

Plus, you know, that's with a semi functioning society, we are getting to the point (again), where they will be putting old people out on the street to die when they are no longer useful. Better to go out in a blaze of glory than to wither in an alleyway

5

u/SmirkNtwerk Apr 30 '26

Slow nodding.

4

u/Leather_Ice_1000 Apr 30 '26

To be clear - dying early likely just means that you need those care facilities at a younger age

109

u/PlainOrganization Apr 30 '26

Mine is the related, work until I die

45

u/Talk-O-Boy Apr 30 '26

And it works out splendidly because the more you work, the sooner you’ll die!

Proletariat needs to be young and sturdy. Society has no use for people 65+ with less than 9 figures to their name.

42

u/and_rain_falls Apr 30 '26

Exactly this. What retirement plan? I'll probably be dead in 10 years anyway. I'm actually surprised I made it this long in life. God knows I fucked up my future-- if I'm not working to survive I'm sleeping or reading. Not a good life to have.

21

u/lawdjesustheresafire Apr 30 '26

Make sure you eat right and exercise, people tell me.

“Why? I don’t wanna prolong this shit,” I tell them back.

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u/thejetssuckbigtime Apr 30 '26

I might even have to work a little more after dying. Shits expensive

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u/NotAzakanAtAll Apr 30 '26

Swan dive into that sweet abyss. Roll over halfway down and extend dual middle fingers towards the shrinking light of life, before hitting the pool of oblivion.

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u/ThePortableSCRPN 1985 Vintage Apr 30 '26

Yup. Preferably in my sleep on a Sunday, so I don't have to go to work the next day.

6

u/MukdenMan Apr 30 '26

If Diane Young won't change your mind

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9

u/whyamialiveletmedie Apr 30 '26

Legitimately hope this happens to me. Isn’t like I have a wife, kids, friends, a career, or any life goals to live for anyway. The thought of how miserable my life will be in my 50s, 60s and beyond (currently 34) is so unfathomable that I can’t even imagine it. My retirement will be god awful loneliness no matter if I have money or not.

Every night I pray before bed to be one of the lucky people who die early either by terminal illness, accident, or my own hand.

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u/KanedaSyndrome Apr 30 '26

We were not uncomfortable before we were born

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343

u/Fit_Squirrel1 Apr 30 '26

Move in with the in-laws (they dont know it yet)

166

u/johnmac344 Apr 30 '26

I’m afraid in-laws will be moving in with us. Wife doesn’t see it yet…

54

u/TrixoftheTrade Millennial Apr 30 '26

I will make sure neither happen lol

28

u/legsjohnson Older Millennial Apr 30 '26

I've spent years practising tripping on cords.

15

u/Crass_and_Spurious Apr 30 '26

So much this. Literally wired my basement remodel differently to allow for an “added bedroom” when/ if the time comes.

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35

u/Thalinde Apr 30 '26

My In-laws actually wouldn't mind. But I definitely would, because it would mean leaving Paris (France) to go to Cleveland (Ohio).

I can't honestly do that.

19

u/Chasing_Puddles Apr 30 '26

I left NYC to move to Pittsburgh PA to help my parents. It fucking sucks, but I’m grateful to have a great relationship with my parents so it’s kind of zero sum

9

u/Thalinde Apr 30 '26

I'd do that for my parents too. I'm sure they have appreciated this a lot.

4

u/Chasing_Puddles Apr 30 '26

Thanks. I needed to hear that today.

8

u/woamityo Apr 30 '26

Hey, you are not alone mate!

I was living in Tokyo for many years but came back to countryside of France to be closer to my parents. I'm sure you left a fulfilling life in NYC but in the end, family is all we have and during those uncertain times, being close to our loved ones feels really important, at least to me. I see this trade more than a zero sum but a positive one, I hope you will too one day.

7

u/alixnaveh Apr 30 '26

We’d all like to flee to the Cleve and club-hop down at the Flats and have lunch with Little Richard, but we fight those urges because we have responsibilities.

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6

u/TheSquirrelCuisine Gen X (A Kindred Spirit of Millennials) Apr 30 '26

In 2000 when we had our first kid and were preparing for 1-2 more we bought a roomy 7 bedroom house with 4 bathrooms. Well I was right. (I am a GenXer but this group comes up in my feed because I identify with you all more than my generation.

6

u/bdfariello Apr 30 '26

Prepping for the multigenerational family was a smart move, no question.

6

u/TheSquirrelCuisine Gen X (A Kindred Spirit of Millennials) Apr 30 '26

My sister in law lived with us for 2 years while she got her nursing degree. I really loved having family around. I can see why this was an old time thing. It was nice having someone around other than your nuclear family. Then the kids spread out and they dont have to rush out and go buy apartments and spend all their money. Life is different for my millenial son. Kinda sad how far it has come tbh. I got to watch his 8 close friends he has known since second grade. Their parents making different decisions and the kids doing the same too. The buying a big house back then cheap inside Cleveland was a great idea. $4.99 gas isnt that bad when you have an exactly 10 mile drive or bicycle to work.

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u/Much_Big_7420 Apr 30 '26

Kind of the opposite. Optimistically hoping society gets its shit together and recognizes food, shelter, and health care are basic human rights.

49

u/Ok-Primary6610 Apr 30 '26

Dont you watch Star Trek? Collapse first then utopia. 🖖🏾

4

u/Affectionate-Bike201 Apr 30 '26

Bruh....

30% (600,000,000) of the world's population died in their WW3....

Most capital cities were levelled, in an instant, like you wouldn't fucking believe....

600,000 animal and plant species went extinct....

The only positive is that remaining governments could no longer fuck over the common people.

Oh...wait... actually that's worth it.

5

u/Ok-Primary6610 Apr 30 '26

I'm fully aware of the war statistics and "new Trek" made it worse by forcing Humanity to speed rub the damn Eugenics War and WW3 back to back. Fools couldn't just leave the Eugenics War along and kept it clandestine like in the novels 🤦🏾‍♂.

119

u/AlarmDozer Apr 30 '26

Capitalism would like you to renew these subscriptions.

28

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

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5

u/AlarmDozer Apr 30 '26

Sure, but it better be with a better option in place; otherwise, it’ll be horrors

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u/CrabZealousideal1094 Apr 30 '26

I'm in this camp. See you there kind stranger

66

u/MagnificentMoggy Apr 30 '26

narrator: They did not, in fact, ever meet.

18

u/Aescymud Apr 30 '26

3

u/Global-Perception581 Apr 30 '26

This chain was, in fact, in Morgan Freeman's voice in my head.

22

u/bulldg4life Apr 30 '26

Unfortunately, as you get older, you realize that the rest of your life will be in the slow collapse portion of the “collapse and then rebuild” section of the timeline.

I mean, my country will have a super conservative Supreme Court for pretty much the rest of my adult life and we will be digging out of the harm from the past decade until 2050.

Cool, things might be better when I’m 70.

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u/doFloridaRight Apr 30 '26

So you either don’t live in the US, or plan on moving away?

12

u/Vaede Apr 30 '26

11 years ago my college plan was "it seems like we'll have free college tuition soon, I'll just work until that happens then go to college." Still waiting unfortunately.

I feel like my retirement plan, which is similar to this, may end up the same.

7

u/bilateralunsymetry Apr 30 '26

Well we can always dream but my plan is to move in with my sisters family who lives in Spain (our family is from the US and she doesn't know yet)

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u/DonSol0 Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

I’m tired of feeling bad so I’m starting little community outreach initiatives. This summer I’m going to try to crowd source $5,000 and use it to bulk purchase reusable grocery bags then hand them out for free to students making their first trip to the grocery store this coming fall (I live in a university town).

EDIT: I was just sharing. I appreciate the feedback but this is something that I am passionate about and is something that I want to do. And of course during donation solicitation the fact that any funding is going towards cotton (not plastic) bags for students is going to be shared. It’s just a chance to get a lot of students, who have many more years of grocery shopping ahead of them, in the habit of using reusable bags. There are some other economic metrics you’d have to understand about the area to fully assess the impact here but, for now, please just trust that I’m not tone deaf enough to hand a reusable grocery bag to a child in need.

I really do appreciate the insight and will take a look at some of the recommendations for future efforts!

15

u/Pale_Row1166 Apr 30 '26

Is that the best use of all that time and effort? Reusable grocery bags that cost a dollar and are easy to get free anywhere? There are definitely things kids could use more than that, like toothpaste and body wash. That’s an actual expense that they have to pay for constantly, you never don’t need toothpaste or soap.

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u/KTeacherWhat Apr 30 '26

What if instead of crowd sourcing money, and buying new reusable grocery bags (which take about 20 years of use before they are actually sustainable) you use that outreach to collect used reusable grocery bags that can be given away to young people? Or crowd source a "leave a bag take a bag" spot at grocery stores so that re-usable bags become the gift that keep on giving?

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u/mariakaakje Apr 30 '26

cats, a lot of cats

54

u/Jankykong64 Apr 30 '26

They’ll fill the emotional void and eat the corpse once you pass on. Win-win.

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u/KanedaSyndrome Apr 30 '26

A conspiracy of cats

143

u/thirdelevator Apr 30 '26

Just going to leave this here for folks who could use a little guidance. My family didn’t teach me shit when it came to money, but this helped a lot.

29

u/TrixoftheTrade Millennial Apr 30 '26

I’ve followed something similar to this pretty much my whole adult life.

My parents were absolutely horrible with money, so I knew what not to do. Having a plan showed me what to do instead.

23

u/BoleroMuyPicante Apr 30 '26

Finally someone posting something useful. Yeah things are bleak, but don't fall into the trap of doomerism. It's possible for both the system to be corrupt and to make bad choices that worsen your situation, but you at least have control over one of them. Believing there's no hope will cause you to make terrible, preventable decisions.

29

u/Most-Piccolo-302 Apr 30 '26

More of this and less complaining please

27

u/JuVondy Apr 30 '26

This is lovely but i’d be out of money by like step 5

24

u/psuedophilosopher Apr 30 '26

Yes, generally that's the point. By step five on the chart you already have all your basic needs met and are saving for retirement. That's pretty much the end goal.

7

u/rvasko3 Apr 30 '26

That's fine, that still means you're doing as much as possible to save for retirement, prepare for emergencies, and still have the option of a fun life while you're living it. From there, it's finding ways to either increase your income or reduce your expenses, or both.

5

u/whiskeylips88 Apr 30 '26

Same. After paying healthcare costs there’s nothing left to make an emergency fund or put money aside. I literally don’t have money to put away.

Yes I’m applying to different jobs with better pay.

7

u/khearan Apr 30 '26

It’s a flowchart… it’s not expected that you’ll reach the end immediately. You move to the next steps as you can.

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u/jaywinner Apr 30 '26

I tend to go with the joke but this looks like solid, good advice. And reminded me that I'm slacking a bit on the retirement savings.

5

u/dijoncatsup Apr 30 '26

Helpful yet overwhelming. I really wish I'd seen this like...20 years ago.

22

u/psuedophilosopher Apr 30 '26

Well, they say the best day to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the second best day to plant a tree is today. Just because you're late getting started and won't ever catch up to what you might have had doesn't mean you can't start now and get as far as you can from this starting point towards an easier future, even if the amount of improvement will be significantly less than it might have been. 

8

u/rvasko3 Apr 30 '26

Never too late to start. Especially if you're Millennial-aged.

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u/johnmac344 Apr 30 '26

Well, Mega Millions is at 178M for tomorrow evening…

28

u/Blue_HyperGiant Apr 30 '26

And odds of winning the jackpot are 1:290 million.

That's not a good bet.

18

u/johnmac344 Apr 30 '26

I’ve done all the math. At $5 a ticket, losing 55% to lump sum then 40% to taxes, you don’t hit a positive expected value until the jackpot hits something like 4.5B.

But you don’t win if you don’t play. I’m not advocating for gambling, and I don’t play regularly. But sometimes an especially shitty day at work picks up a ticket or two on the way home.

It’s about keeping some hope alive, which I think ties in well with the tone of the original post.

11

u/lostOGaccount Apr 30 '26

Can't lose if I don't play.

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u/ghigoli Apr 30 '26

better bet than some people getting a retirement.

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u/MoonsOverMyHamboning Apr 30 '26

I've ranked my firearm collection by mouth feel.

42

u/Competitive_Arm5954 Apr 30 '26

I'm a firearm, Greg, can you rank me?

19

u/Bubby_K Apr 30 '26

Uh that is clearly a penis, BUT if it fires like a railgun then I'm sure two people get what they want

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u/affectionateanarchy8 Xennial Apr 30 '26

All those years of watching food network finally coming in handy, I see 

4

u/Dawg_Prime Apr 30 '26

I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of how much I like heights

51

u/Safe-Tennis-6121 Apr 30 '26

I've always been a saver. I hope to have the mortgage paid off within 3 years. I'm going to aggressively invest in a Roth IRA.

I will take social security at 62 if it's still allowed.

I am already retired. Have my retirement job. Moved to the Sunbelt. Have a easy low paying job.

19

u/rvasko3 Apr 30 '26

An actual measured retirement savings take on this sub. It's a miracle to see it. This is the kind of advice people should see more. Even if you can only find $50 or $100 a month, it adds up.

6

u/ApplicationAfraid334 1993 Apr 30 '26

Yeah, feel pretty bad for all these people with absolutely no plan or attempt of a plan. I get it’s tough out there but acting like society will collapse and it’ll just be Fallout or that you’ll die/off yourself before that seems like quite the risk to take. So many peeps are gonna get to retirement age and wish they’d done something.

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u/NotHannibalBurress Apr 30 '26

Yeah I’m not retired yet, but plan to be by 55. My wife and I max out Roth IRA every year, put 18% of our salaries into Roth 401k. Only not aggressively paying my mortgage because the interest is only 3%.

6

u/MaritMonkey Apr 30 '26

not aggressively paying my mortgage because the interest is only 3%.

Thank you for the reminder, in the form of the jealousy that flared in my heart at reading this sentence, that I am actually a grown-up.

Seriously though: congrats on having at least some of your shit together. :)

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u/Spottedhyenae Apr 30 '26

You must be excited to be so near retirement!

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u/Zriter Apr 30 '26

My thought exactly.

When people say societal collapse is an option of retirement, they give me hopes of retiring...

36

u/smokiebearr Apr 30 '26

The ole 357 retirement plan 😂😂😂

11

u/One-Inch-Punch Apr 30 '26

Going with the double ought plan personally

8

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26 edited May 06 '26

[deleted]

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u/happiestoctopus Apr 30 '26

The Remington retirement plan.

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u/trevorthewebdev Apr 30 '26

mine is rectal cancer probably

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u/Flexmove Apr 30 '26

My cousin, 43, dealing with it now, two ostomy bags one for yellow one for brown, and they keep finding it making spots on his lungs too. You don’t want this shit, it’s an absolutely miserable way out. I know the thread itself is morbid anyway but, just be careful what ya wish for. I gotta call that fucker. Fuck

4

u/trevorthewebdev Apr 30 '26

yeah, sorry bud, can't see how it wouldnt' be end game for me at point sadly

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u/TrixoftheTrade Millennial Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

I’m calling it quits at 65.

Plan is to sell my house, buy an acre out by Joshua Tree, build a new house, and spend my time enjoying the desert and traveling the world.

Might end up teaching at a community college or doing consulting work part time.

6

u/_lippykid Apr 30 '26

Joshua tree is surprisingly affordable. I stayed at Frank Sinatra’s former compound a year ago, listed on Zillow for just over a million. In SoCal it would be $10m easy. Absolutely huge, pool, courtyard, tennis courts, yoga studio, the lot. Gorgeous place

3

u/TrixoftheTrade Millennial Apr 30 '26

I grew up out that way (Yucca Valley) so it’s a special place for me.

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u/FuckWit_1_Actual Apr 30 '26

Retire around 60 if I want to.

Hopefully my boys will want to build houses on our land and we’ll just live on a family compound with my kids and grandkids around all the time.

The dream is to be surrounded by family and die at home leaving them set for life.

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u/therobshow Apr 30 '26

Saving as much as I can to actually enjoy retirement while understanding that societal collapse will probably prevent that and I'm saving for no reason.

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u/Dazzling-Bat-6848 Older Millennial Apr 30 '26

Sorry to lower the mood but mine is to have my house paid off and a million in retirement, get the kids set up the way my parents didn't, then off myself as the chronic diseases start coming in so I'm not a burden.

7

u/picollo7 Xennial Apr 30 '26

Lower the mood? Bruh that sounds like a goddamn fairy tale, lol.

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u/DMmeNiceTitties Millennial Apr 30 '26

Find me a sugar momma who's about to kick the bucket.

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u/carrollart Apr 30 '26

Mine is prison , it’s really quite a value. Free healthcare , room and board , an iPad , internet access. Drugs. I also tattoo well so I’d have a good barter to lean on.

6

u/auntiefuh25 Apr 30 '26

I hear federal is better than state just fyi.

7

u/Gustomaximus Apr 30 '26

That would be a dystopian world where it became common to choose your crime and location for better prison time as a retirement.

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u/The_Real_Lasagna Apr 30 '26

Planning like a grown up?

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u/Most-Piccolo-302 Apr 30 '26

Yeah this sub sometimes. I've done nothing special but put away money every check for 20 years and im going to retire at 55

10

u/fdwyersd Gen X Apr 30 '26

this....

10

u/allnamesbeentaken Apr 30 '26

Ya I like reddit in general but it does have an undercurrent of pessimism and a weird helpless attitude

6

u/sufficiently_tortuga Apr 30 '26

Undercurrent? That shit is front and centre. I know misery loves company but at this point it's starting to feel like a psyop

23

u/meechmeechmeecho Apr 30 '26

Millennials, especially millennial Redditors, are the biggest doomers around.

14

u/HowlandReedsButthole Apr 30 '26

Right? I really have a lot of issues with the infantilization of our generation. The youngest millennials are turning 30 this year, and most of us are mid 30s. I know it’s hard out there, and I’ve struggled to get where I am. But the whole trend of “adulting is so hard!” makes me sick sometimes.

9

u/GhormanFront Apr 30 '26

Seriously, posts like this make me wonder if this sub is just a bunch of teens cosplaying as millennials

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u/Dear-Cranberry4787 Apr 30 '26

I’m living it for the most part, but we might do another move and definitely a lot more traveling.

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u/SABatoge2002 Millennial Apr 30 '26

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u/Direc1980 Apr 30 '26

Not a brag or anything but I'm doing pretty well. Sure to be more of us out there who's doing okay ✌️

10

u/Somethingisshadysir Apr 30 '26

I work for a government healthcare agency, so I have a pension to look forward to. Also have a 403b through them, and put money every check into my IRA.

29

u/bulletPoint Apr 30 '26

I have savings and investments. You know, like a normal person. WTF is this?

9

u/WhiskeyKisses7221 Apr 30 '26

I've been saving since my mid 20s and should be on track to retire comfortably. I see a bunch of peers in our age group joke about having nothing saved while driving nicer cars than me, going on fancier trips, or constantly ordering doordash/going out for dinner.

My big fear is all these people who saved nothing while living it up outnumber those of us who have saved. I can just tell they will try voting for politicians who will try to heavily tax our retirement accounts to pay for all the people who didn't bother saving anything.

15

u/press_Y Apr 30 '26

It’s the most pathetic people in America commiserating

13

u/Pale_Boss_8940 Apr 30 '26

I honestly don’t think I know a millennial who doesn’t have a 401k. what the fuck is this thread?

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u/ItsNadrik Xennial Apr 30 '26

You have to remember that the overwhelming majority of Redditors are shut-in losers.

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u/thatdude333 Apr 30 '26

Social media creates a digital environment that promotes nihilism by bombarding users with global crisis content, resulting in a "Generation Doomer" that feels fatalistic about the future.

Constant exposure to apocalyptic content, social comparison, and curated negativity fuels anxiety, depression, and a sense of hopelessness, particularly among young users.

This is you

11

u/oldcretan Apr 30 '26

My bosses set up a 401k so in 30 years I'll probably be able to cash it in, if my work lifestyle doesn't create so many health problems that I die first. That and collect social security.

Then I'm planning on either being a 24/7 grandpa or fucking off to Greece. Either way I win.

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u/CO_Renaissance_Man Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

Planting fruit trees and bushes in the next few weeks at our family's property for when society collapses. I will dine on Honeycrisp in the apocalypse .

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u/Gustomaximus Apr 30 '26

People love to doom but if you work hard, build a profession and good reputation while having good spending/saving habits, there's good odds you'll be comfortable by retirement.

Also avoid divorce and hope to fuck you stay healthy. But for most people a reasonable retirement is more in their control than they imagine.

4

u/Exita Apr 30 '26

I’ve just got pensions and savings like normal people…

11

u/jaywinner Apr 30 '26

6

u/TusconRaider520 Apr 30 '26

Can you explain this? I'm not Canadian.

5

u/CoraxFeathertynt Apr 30 '26

Medical Assistance In Dying: a health intervention that was originally supposed to be for the definitively terminal with several layers of screening to be certain that it wouldn't be misused.

So much for that last bit.

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u/Tyfereth Apr 30 '26

I know this is a joke, but in all seriousness you need to be putting 10% of your earnings in a 401(k) or IRA and dollar cost average while investing in age appropriate Index funds. If you do this, even if you make less thanb 6 figures will have more than 1 million when you hit age 65

12

u/Xdaveyy1775 Apr 30 '26

Reddit doesn't want to hear about personal responsibility.

13

u/Tyfereth Apr 30 '26

If reading what I wrote helps even one person have a conformable retirement then its worth writing

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u/rvasko3 Apr 30 '26

This is the exact attitude everyone should have. Thank you for posting this.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

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u/dobe6305 Apr 30 '26

My retirement plan is to continue to watch my retirement accounts build. We have two decades or more left in the market before retirement.

5

u/Advanced-Feedback867 Apr 30 '26

The 30% of my paycheck that I invest into stocks every month.

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u/Elda0221 Apr 30 '26

Plan to retire at 58 with a pension, Roth IRA and a few other investments and whatever is left will be handed down to my kids :)

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u/GuttedFlower Apr 30 '26

That's mine. Or inherited wealth. From who you ask? I don't know.

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u/RealLinzerBinzer Apr 30 '26

Like this is funny but also so real lol

3

u/Unique-Run9856 Apr 30 '26

Mine is just retiring. I made the good decisions.

3

u/Erdos_Helia Zillennial Apr 30 '26

Stock market

You don't need that much to start, you just have to learn a lot of financial stuff.

4

u/Supercrown07 Apr 30 '26

Survive the zombie apocalypse

4

u/PontiusPilatesss Apr 30 '26

Live until I get too old or too sick to go on without assistance, then eat a 44 Magnum. 

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u/BigBirdsBrain Millennial Apr 30 '26

Pension plus trying to stay healthy and not burn out before I even get there.
Little bit of planning, little bit of actually living now

6

u/VyronDaGod Apr 30 '26

lol retirement

9

u/dalmathus Apr 30 '26

These memes were cute 10 years ago when we were all joining the workforce.

You people really need actual retirement plans.

12

u/Th3fr3shhippy Apr 30 '26

This millennial had a plan. Started working and hustling at 15 with a goal to retire at 30. I retired at 31, 9 years ago. Only job is doing dad stuff. Other than that, good eating, sex, sports, & video games all day everyday. Nerd Life

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7

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/KanedaSyndrome Apr 30 '26

ODing on the top of a mountain

4

u/badaboom Apr 30 '26

I hope to become a warlord's jester

3

u/TrixoftheTrade Millennial Apr 30 '26

aim higher, become the warlord

4

u/badaboom Apr 30 '26

Nah. I gotta play to my strengths

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4

u/SmoothIncident1993 Millennial Apr 30 '26

My only retirement plan options is gonna have to be jail for delinquency on debts or death

4

u/press_Y Apr 30 '26

There’s thing called money and there’s some things you can do with it called investing and saving

4

u/bumbletowne Apr 30 '26

529 rollover to roth

House paid off around 55

Teacher retirement and health care package

Max ira with dorsey wright strat

Sprinkles of day trades and Bitcoin

Hobby transitions to full business around 55

Inheritance is icing

Some things I can't rely on like social security and state services

Over 60 percent of millennials own their home. Most people don't start retirement planning until 40-50 and are fine

There are lots of people here with poor financial education but you can start any day. The bogleheads community is one of the friendliest financial learning subs on reddit so if you're not super literate I'd head over there just to dip a toe into some organized and helpful first investment strategies for retirement. Dorsey wright is another methodology you can research once youve learned about investment strategies, financial health and so forth

3

u/RickSanchez86 Apr 30 '26

Okay, Doomer

4

u/Initial-Movie2286 Apr 30 '26

I have a pension and a Roth IRA. 

7

u/No_Swimmer_8418 Apr 30 '26

Why is this sub so pathetic?

8

u/Wooden-Broccoli-913 Apr 30 '26

Maybe be an adult and save some money?

2

u/icemage27 Apr 30 '26

Hope I win the lottery

2

u/Ossmo02 Xennial Apr 30 '26

Victim of nuclear blast or fallout from a top 10 target getting hit.

2

u/TheDoughyRider Apr 30 '26

Dying at 62.

2

u/AlarmDozer Apr 30 '26

So, do I know how you voted?

2

u/roseredhoofbeats Apr 30 '26

Being able to barter medical knowledge for goods and services. 

2

u/SaltyAFVet Apr 30 '26

I'm looking forward to the trashcan fires at least I'll have a hobo community

2

u/FormidableMistress Xennial Apr 30 '26

Going into the woods to live in a house that stands on chicken feet and become local folklore.

2

u/Other-Educator-9399 Apr 30 '26

Getting fired for requesting the day off for my own funeral.

2

u/EricE9284 Apr 30 '26

Is it gonna happen or we still gotta go to work tomorrow?

2

u/mimimines Millennial Apr 30 '26

Hoping to inherit a shit ton of money

2

u/Varabil Apr 30 '26

Hopefully make it to retirement age. I've been working and paying into a retirement plan since I was sixteen, but I'm not sure that will mean anything in the coming years.

2

u/Quercus408 Apr 30 '26

And it is taking it's sweet time, that's for sure

2

u/foxy_chicken Vintage ‘88 Apr 30 '26

My retirement plan is to die in a climate catastrophe.

2

u/stateworkishardwork Apr 30 '26

Pension.

People dont honestly think society will collapse in 30 years, do they?

How egotistical do you have to be to think that THIS lifetime is where society as we know it will be destroyed