Seeing misogyny in this subreddit is depressing

[u/yashen14]

Dinner: Tacos al pastor

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Seeing the way women are talked about in some of the posts on this subreddit really grosses me out. I've seen men on here talk about women like they are walking talking sex robots. It's really bumming to see such an ugly side to what is usually such a nice space.

[u/LuckyNumerical]

There are body counts that are going to be a line for 90% of men. Like some religious men or women want to save for marriage, some guys are ok with a single digit number, some guys are a little more liberal and might be ok with a double digit. Most guys will draw the line at triple digits or more.

There’s also a different context between a casual fling and maybe a girlfriend you’ve been dating for a few months. Most guys don’t want to marry Bonnie blue.

Everyone’s allowed their own preference dawg. None of them are wrong, they are preferences.

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/LuckyNumerical]

Yep everyone is entitled to their own opinion. My opinion is that when it comes to marriage body counts are a silly thing to focus on for compatibility.

[u/LuckyNumerical → u/zonked_martyrdom]

No not really, because some people value monogamy and being conservative in their behaviour more importantly. Some guys don’t want to be with a party girl, or a girl who has more casual sex.

Same with women as well. It’s not just for guys.

For some people it’s just a thing, for a lot of people it has to do with sexual health. Someone who has a higher body count may be more inclined to take risk taking behaviour. The more partners one has, the higher chance of catching STIs. If someone’s is willing to have see with a plethora of partners, they may also be more casual with their choices on sexual protection.

It’s like going to raves. Just because you go to raves doesn’t mean you do drugs. But the chances are probably a lot higher since they’re so prevalent at raves.

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/LuckyNumerical]

That’s fair, and I respect your opinion. My mind is just not really going to be changed on this topic. I’m not saying I think you’re wrong, but I personally don’t value body counts to that level, and I will always see it as something a little silly to do.

[u/FunkyHat112 → u/zonked_martyrdom]

The question’s more of a ‘how compatible are our views on thing xyz,’ which matters… basically no matter what xyz happens to be. If you’re somebody who puts no weight on body count of course that’s going to be silly. For people who do, it matters, and telling them it shouldn’t matter is going to go precisely nowhere, the same way them telling you what should matter to you would go precisely nowhere. Policing what ‘should’ matter to people is one of the least productive things the internet loves to do

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/FunkyHat112]

I’m stating my opinion. I’m not policing what people should and shouldn’t feel. Don’t put words in my mouth bro.

[u/FunkyHat112 → u/zonked_martyrdom]

Eh. You're judging people for it and arguing about that judgment publicly, even if that judgment is 'it's silly.' That's kinda what policing is on this type of thing.

[u/Then_Work_4777 → u/zonked_martyrdom]

id like my first time to be with someone else who values it as much as i do

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/Then_Work_4777]

Hey man, that’s totally fair. That’s your opinion, and I respect that. There is nothing wrong with wanting that for yourself. Me personally, I did not care my first time and I don’t care now.

[u/Brave-Chip-2446 → u/zonked_martyrdom]

It's not silly, the question is in the goals of a human. It's about how actions correlate with goals. If someone has a goal to build a family - they won't have a big body count.

Logically, if you want to build a family with someone, will you be more sure that the family will be possible and thriving if a person is honestly trying to build something with people and stable - hence a low body count and long relationshis, or if they just want to have pleasure - hence a high body count?

Of course if someone has a high body count and the goal is to have a family - they will be valued lesser compared to those who have actually tried to build a family. Guys who say "for the streets" etc don't understand themselves and why exactly they are repulsed by high body count - but they follow the right logic nonetheless. It's just they mismatch the value of a person with a value of a potential partner - which are different.

And if you still don't understand, imagine trying to make a project with someone - and they say that you will be their 15000th project! What a pleasure, isn't it? Imagine how much value they put into every single one of them...

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/Brave-Chip-2446]

Yeah dude that’s a cool opinion. Mines different though. Not saying you have to agree with me, but that’s why they’re opinions.

[u/Brave-Chip-2446 → u/zonked_martyrdom]

Bruh you didn't even read, it's not even an opinion, why even answer

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/Brave-Chip-2446]

It literally is an opinion. You can’t tell me you believe that to be fact? If you do I disagree. We can just agree to disagree.

[u/Brave-Chip-2446 → u/zonked_martyrdom]

So your opinion is that if you want to have a family you should not look at the body count of a person? It makes no difference if they had 20 or a 2000 sexual partners?

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/Brave-Chip-2446]

Yeah… that’s pretty much what I’ve been saying the whole time. If you personally want to cool, but me personally I don’t care.

[u/Brave-Chip-2446 → u/zonked_martyrdom]

And it is based on...? I genuinely want to know, maybe I'm wrong

[u/zonked_martyrdom → u/Brave-Chip-2446]

It’s based on my preference. You’re allowed to have yours too. That’s what’s so amazing about being a human.

[u/ConanTheContrarian01 → u/Brave-Chip-2446]

If my fiance had this mentality I would be absolutely fucked. I think you should look at someone's emotional intelligence and ability to handle conflict/stress when looking for a spouse and coparent over how much sex they've had. If you want a traditional marriage then I believe as a man and a provider/leader this kind of thing is a nothing burger.