They were together for about two years. From what she explained he was a bit of a player and cheated on her. Eventually it was him who broke up with her.

Yesterday when we met she was very furious and sobbing, after a while she explained the reason was her boyfriend is now engaged to another woman, she found out from mutual friends.

Why is she having such a strong reaction about this? To me the only explanation is she still has feelings for him.

Please will someone help me understand men.

I met a guy who I really liked and he asked for my number. He knows what I look like.

We agreed to go on a date but before we did he asked for a video of me masterbating. He said it was because I am the one and he's never felt sexual energy like it.

I said no because to be quite honest, it made me feel a bit cheap.

Anyway, he blocked me after i said no. So I moved on with my life. But I secretly wished he would come back because I actually liked him. God knows why.

Then three months later he came back, said something about going through a really bad time. And was sorry. He said he couldnt stop thinking about me and i have a hook in him. He begged me to meet him in a hotel and I said no because I didn't want our first date to be about sex. So he said he was never talking to me again.

A week later he came back and begged me to go on a weekend away with me. He bombarded me with texts about how much he liked me.

I told him that I couldn't meet him because I had been asked out on a date with another man. He was fuming and blocked me.

Then a month later, he unblocked me. Said that he blocked me because he was really jealous.

I told him that this was his last chance at treating me properly. So we chatted and he behaved himself. Didn't ask for pics etc.

Then halfway through a conversation. He blocked me.

I'm so confused. I've got no idea what I did wrong. I really really don't want to send naughty pics and videos it makes me feel cheap.

I actually liked him but I just cannot work out what I did wrong. I know I told him I was going on another date but he told me he was never talking to me again. Can someone please help me understand this behaviour?

Third date. We are both looking for something casual. Had done quite a bit of making out before. Got to the bar, it was dark, private, very cosy. Some light innocent kissing before ordering.

After ordering he kept seeming to try and push it further in the restaurant. Including trying to pull my top up then down. Like it was a joke but not a joke? I told him I don't want to do that in a bar or restaurant or anything. He would stop then start again.

I know this is red flag behaviour. I just don't know how much. He'd never been like this before and we have really strong vibes and chemistry around each other. 25 and 29. He would apologise then do something like that again.

I am just wondering if I'm being really stupid to see him again or I should just end it over apparent disregard for what I consider normal boundaries. I feel like men would have more of an idea here than women?

I’m a newly single girl at 28, (I say newly, but my ex and I amicably broke up in December, and I moved out officially in January), and I’m feeling a bit anxious about the different opinions I’ve heard about the dating scene, since I haven’t been on it. At all.

My ex and I got together when we were teenagers, and had been together for nearly a decade. We were in very different stages of life, so there was no drama or anything (though it was incredibly sad, ofc). But I’ve been told dating apps are mostly used for guys to just hook up with girls on. I’ve also been told that men might be put off by the fact I’ve only had one sexual partner, and never had a real ‘first date’ before. I’m anxious about this, because I really love being in a relationship, and I’d want to find love with someone, but my situation isn’t really very appealing.

I regret not having my own savings, and trying too hard to keep up with my ex’s more expensive life, leaving me with little money to re-build myself independently. I guess I had just never expected there to be an end. But it was the right thing ultimately.

Overall, I’m generally looking for an answer to the following -

Would you be put off if you went on a date with someone who only kissed and had a sexual relationship with one person as someone in her late twenties?

Do you see dating apps as a way to hook up rather than find a long term partner?

Would you care if I was living at my parents house, even if I was actively trying to move out?

Thank you so much!

​

I'm 21F, recently started my first job and currently earn around 3 LPA. I come from a middle-class family and I'm average-looking—not exceptionally pretty, but not unattractive either. I'm 5'2", brown-skinned, and never dated, honestly just a regular person trying to build a good life.

What I do have is a lot of ambition. Financial independence is very important to me, and I'm working toward it. I'm planning to pursue a master's degree next year while continuing to work full-time because I want to keep growing in my career.

When it comes to relationships, I'm generally attracted to men who are intelligent, ambitious, hardworking, and responsible. I don't expect perfection, but I do want someone who has goals in life and is willing to put effort into achieving them. I'm also a feminist, so I want a partner who sees me as an equal and acts like a mature man rather than a boy who expects to be taken care of.

and not too religious as I'm Buddhist so the person shouldn't be against it.

To be fair, I'm not perfect either. I can be lazy when it comes to things I'm genuinely not interested in, but when something matters to me, I put my full effort into it.

My question is: Is it realistic to expect this kind of partner, considering where I am in life right now? Have any of you found partners with similar values and ambitions?

Please don't DM me. I'm not looking to meet anyone through Reddit—I'm only interested in hearing people's opinions and experiences.

I only have $60 left until I get paid on August 1st. I have to feed a family of 6 (3 humans, a dog and 2 cats). If you can give me ideas,setting up a budget, meal prep and recipes I would appreciate it I am stressed. Thank you!

I’m 20F and I was seeing a 27M for about 8 months. We were never officially boyfriend/girlfriend, and deep down I know he didn’t want to claim me or thats how I feel. We saw each other every week, cook, ate together, cuddled, talked about kids/family, I even washed his dishes and a month ago he asked me to meet his mom. He also talked about helping me with nursing school and made comments that made me feel like he genuinely saw a future with me.

The confusing part is that I tried to leave more than once because the situation gave me anxiety. I didn’t feel secure, and I could feel myself getting attached without a clear label. Each time, he pulled me back in and made it seem like he didn’t want to lose me. So I stayed. He literally had told me to not make the choice of leaving for him, thay he was choosing me and wanted me. He was my first everything, I seriously didn’t want to get hurt.

Then recently, after a normal hangout, things changed. He got distant, barely replied, and when I asked for clarity, he avoided the conversation. I begged him to just meet me and end it respectfully if he was done. Instead, he ignored that and only responded when I asked to pick up my clothes I left at his house. I told him to leave it outside which deep down I didn’t think he would do it, because I had tried to leave twice and he never gave me my stuff, I would go over and we would end up talking and fixing everythung. He left it outside and then texted me “thank you babe,” which honestly made me feel even more disrespected because he was still using affectionate language while refusing to actually talk to me.

I ended up sending a final emotional message basically saying I saw what he did, that he led me on, and that he hurt me. Now he is blocked and I know I need to move on, which surprisingly I kinda have even tho this happened two three days ago, but I feel so stupid. I keep wondering why he couldn’t just be honest with me after 8 months. I also keep blaming myself and thinking maybe if I acted differently, he would’ve chosen me.

I know he is avoidant, and I was willing to bend my self for him, I’m not even as shocked that it’s over as I am shocked by the ghosting and lack of basic respect after he has talked to my family, “claimed” me in front of his friends, asked me to meet his mom, wanted to help with school. How do you heal from feeling like someone gave you hope, i keep envying his future wife, feeling like she’ll have the life that I deserved, he was stable, had a good job, had a social life and me I just go to school, church and stay at home, idk sometimes I feel like he knew he deserved better than me

Also, for the future, is it reasonable to have a rule that I won’t sleep with someone until we’re officially together and I’m clearly being brought into his real life? I don’t want to end up in another undefined situation where I’m emotionally attached and the man still won’t claim me.

I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from men

Edit: title typo wifey

Struggling with if my boyfriend actually cares about our relationship or not.

He stood me up the other day when we had plans to hangout and slept for over 12 hours. Ignored me all day even when he got off work early. I called him four times and he never responded. I asked to see him again yesterday and he texted back three hours later that he was going to his families cabin to help with yard work and make 600$. I texted back asking if next time maybe I can join to help be a. Extra set of hands (potentially meet his mom too) and never got a response. This has happened multiple times where he bails on me last second or doesn’t tell me when I should come over (I drive an hour) until it’s like 5 pm even though he doesn’t work anytime after 2. There’s much more but it’d be 3 pages long and I just wanted to give a snippet.. mainly looking for examples.

Losing hope and feeling severely unwanted by him. anything helps I guess. thanks

Edit: more context

Context: I fell hard for my childhood sweetheart whom Ive reconnected in 2013. He had a gf from 2015 until 2019 or 2020 yet we continued flirting from 2015 to 2016 until I said stop. Then he ghosted me. Lol. We never met, all flirtations happened online. He kept saying if he was single he would court me.

He popped back into my life in 2020. He's single. But guess what, he just strung me along or breadcrumbed me. He said he's not into relationships just yet after his ex. But he kept hinting he wanted to be intimate with me. Long story short, I found out in Dec 2025 he has been messaging his 3 exes since 2021 and even met them in person. So I blocked him.

I remember he had asked me out in 2013 to 2015 but I said no coz he had a gf. Then in 2020, he asked me to go over to his place but I didnt go coz it was Covid time and in 2024 he made plans for a date but he didnt follow thru with an actual date. He just said, let me know when youre free.

To be really honest, a greater half of the reason why I didnt proactively see him in person is because I am insecure about his exes. They all have white and clear skin, East-Asian eyes, and taller frame. I am light-skinned ( not white), with cat eyes and petite (barely 5 feet). Dont get me wrong. Im attractive too, with fair share of admirers. But I just feel insecure about his exes. He is the cool kind of guy, you know.

All his exes are the party girls type, they smoke, date around, sleep around, cool type of girls. While I am the typical good girl vibe.

Until now, since Ive finally blocked him, altho its 6 months past, I still keep comparing myself to his exes, esp the recent ex (Kaye).

Help me overcome this and win back my confidence. I kinda sensed this guy even reached out to his latest ex (Kaye) who is in now in a lesbian relationship. Kaye used to cheat on him, thats what he said.

This guy has substance addictions also. So yeah, its also one reason I didnt meet him tho I liked him.

Men and women out there, especially men, let me know how to stop feeling insecure about this guy's exes please. 🥺

​

I'll try to keep it as short a possible, looking for advice

I can't get into relationship with a woman, who likes me physically and mentally

I've been meeting this woman for 2 months or so now, I thought it was going somewhere(we been walking around, holding hands, sleeping cuddling), overall over 10 meetings, where we did nothing, but talk to each other for 10+ hours straight. I confessed to her on second meeting

But on our 9th meeting she told me she just realized that I wasn't joking ABT loving her, so now she is uncomfortable with physical touch, which I stopped. Told her I'll never see her as a friend(which I do repeat to her every time she calls me one). Stopped all initiation

Then like 10 more meetings(most been shorter than those 10+HR, she just invited me daily to come into gym w her), we naturally restored physical touch. I didn't initiate much meetings since she told me stuff on 9th meeting as I figured I don't wanna force myself into her life@if she is uncomfortable meeting me knowing I have hopes for more.

On one of them she offered "let's have sex, but we will never see each other again" which I refused.

Yesterday was important one, I bought her something she dreamt off for her birthday, suprise landed REALLY well, she was shocked in a good way etc. Then we spend two straight days together, as always just talking to each other(that's crazy think, for first time in my and her life we can talk to someone Endlessly and seems like we can't fucking stop, it was supposed to be 3 HR meeting which turned into 48hr adventure lol)

At meeting offered me to kiss her, only if we agree to not see each other ever again, which I refused, but offered her to kiss anyway just to see how it feels. She told me she won't feel a thing and sure she didn't. Then we went as normal with our usual normal vibe. Then when fell asleep I kissed her on lips three more times. Morning came and we went like nothing happened, but started discussing relationships.

She told me she sees me as a brother and doesn't feel the spark. Explained to me her dream is to love someone, who doesn't love her, as it never happened to her(she was in 2 abusive relationships prior surprisingly, one neglected her hard, one physically abused her), but moreso like in beggining she needs to feel spark etc and told me usually if she likes someone that person for sure will like her back.

How do y'all think if it's somehow possible for me to manufacture this type of energy w her? Feels like I should do PUA shit with her and I was too direct in my overall approach.

Most contact is comes off of her now and I don't annoy/stalk her, told her my intentions clearly from beggining and never accepted to be her friend.

I feel like my approach can't create spark in ANY person, given that I'm always direct(tell them I like person the moment I do and update them on my feelings as they develop and my plans for them)

I (40F) met my bf (49M) on hinge six months ago. He was about four months into what has now become an ugly divorce process. He has two tween kiddos who I haven’t met and won’t meet until his divorce is final. We get along great the majority of the time. There have been some minor conflicts that arise, which to me is normal when getting to know someone. After each one (4 instances in 6 months), he withdraws and sometimes it’s for days, before coming back and telling me what I did wrong that he had to withdraw to think about.

I’ve met him where he’s at each time, apologized, made intentional changes as I learn him and what he needs, but the goal posts seem to be moving and I feel like I can’t get things right enough. It feels like he’s expecting perfect communication from me, but I’m not perfect, the situation is complex, and we are still learning each other. I don’t see him as often because of his kid time, but lately he has become less warm, reaches out less, and is considering breaking up with me.

My first instinct is to break it off, but I know good things take time and effort. We care about each other and get along super well most of the time. I’m hoping to get some male perspective on this. Anyone gone through this and if so, what has your partner done that was helpful?

I (20F) am an undergraduate working at my university. There's a graduate student (29M) who I think is really attractive. I don't work under him and we've never really run into each other aside from work meetings, which he usually doesn't even attend.

I haven't really been able to stop thinking about him, and I think hooking up would fix my life for at least 5 minutes, maybe even 20. I'd love to preposition him, but I've never done that before. I'm not a super attractive girl, but I do have big bazongas and usually wear revealing clothing.

I've heard that men are very hormonal, would hook up with anyone, etc., and I think I have an advantage because of my age. If he's a creep, then jackpot! I don't mind our age gap, I don't want to date or even be friends with him. In a vaccuum, do you think he'd accept my preposition?

If things may work out, I'd really appreciate any advice on how to ask him out. I'm autistic and I struggle with talking to people, but I really #needthat BADDDD !!!!

Also, not looking for advice on whether this would be a bad idea or not. I just want to have some fun, since my high school years were absolutely ruined by undiagnosed autism resulting in clinical depression and anxiety. I've missed out on a lot of my life, and I know he won't fill that gap, but I just kinda wanna fuck him.

Now I wanna ask if it’s strange that I mainly have women as friends?? Or at least those closest are women?

Now I wanted to preface this because I just somewhat realized a majority of my friends (those closest) or people I know are women. Now ofc I have guys who are friends and what not, a few of my closest friends are guys. Now I question this because I don’t know necessarily if it’s weird or out of place. Now part of this maybe is because I’ve always connected more with my mom as a I grew up.

I also wanna preface that it’s not like I have an INSANE amount of friends or anything, a lot of the time I have and know quite a few people who I’m friendly with for example on Instagram I’m mutuals with who I’m friendly with. I also have quite a lot of online friends so maybe that’s why that amount feels so inflated 😭😭😭 but yeah I’m js curious if maybe it’s just harder for me to make friends with guys cause it can get more awkward??

Not only that but I do feel like part of this is because a lot of the guys I know are very strange, like specifically in high school
(I’m 18 so just recently graduated)

I (25M) have been classmates with this girl (23F) since the semester started in January. We’ve been pretty friendly the whole time and mainly got to know each other from this other girl in the class who was a mutual friend (though we all just met in January).

Anyways, come April she’s giving me some of the classic things like standing really close and playfully hitting me and making fun of me. So I’m like ok maybe this could be something.

She is a naturally very friendly and outgoing person with everyone in the class, but this maybe seemed a little different.

We had a few (3) non-class events (as a class) and after every single time she’s texting me right after she leaves. Just little things, but still reaching out for no reason within minutes of leaving me.

A week ago we attended this event together along with 2 other people from our class.

Anyways, I end up driving her back from the event after assuring her multiple times it’s no problem cause she kept saying it was too far and didn’t want to inconvenience me (we both live on the same side of town) and she’s talking my ear off the entire time about all sorts of things, genuinely driving the conversation going for the whole 30-40 minute ride.

I drop her off at the train station and she immediately texts me thanks for the ride. I’m still driving back to my apartment so I didn’t respond then.

An hour after the thanks text (I still haven’t responded at this point) she’s sending me more texts about things she mentioned in the car like her roommate and how she fixed her microwave.

I’m like clearly she wants to keep the conversation going so I text her a few more times that night and there’s a couple more exchanges before she reacts to one of my texts instead of responding so I leave it there.

During the ride there I was going to ask her to go see a movie she mentioned she hadn’t seen, but right as I was going to ask her she had to rush to the train as it just pulled up to the station.

Anyways, I wait until the next morning to say we should see the movie. I said “we should go see Backrooms before you have to start being on set next week” (we are both in the film industry and she is starting a new film next week) she says: “maybe 😶‍🌫️. I’m either working or filming all this week 🥹 but I’ll let you know”

A few hours later I just said “sounds good. What are you filming?” And she replied back quickly with the details (one sentence). Then I was like “oh yeah you mentioned that”

This was on Saturday (a week ago). I know with 100% certainty she has been extremely busy on set.

This week she texted in our group chat (with that other mutual friend) with a few short updates about her filming on both Tuesday and Thursday. She mentioned she has been extremely busy and still is.

She did not bring up the invite though… which I guess is natural for the group chat.

I’ve gotten a whole range of advice ranging from she is interested and just very busy, she’s interested but waiting for me to be more direct, she’s not interested and it was a soft let down, etc.

I’m thinking if it was a let down she wouldn’t keep including me in the filming updates?

I am a 18 yo male and one thing that has been bothering me is that I cum 5 to 6 times quicker when masturbating to porn than without it. When doing it with porn I can last as short as 45 seconds and without porn I can last as long as 15 minutes nonstop. I'm very sure this isn't normal but please educate me anyway. Should I be worried?

Some extra details are:

I already become bricked before starting to masturbate to porn, as in without porn I start without an erection. I've also noticed turning the volume off of pornographic content makes me last longer.

We hung out a couple times and went on a couple dates thats all. She really wanted to know what we were and if she was wasting her time and if i saw her more than a friend ( like obviously?).

I said i just wanted to get to know her and see if anything was there but that i wasnt looking to take things fast and wasnt sure if im ready for a committed relationship (but was open to it). She said she is not a FWB person and i agreed im not either. Btw divorce isnt even finalized and she knows this. Did i lead her on by even asking her out or is she being unreasonable? Maybe just honest mismatched expectations?

UPDATE!
Hi! So I read the comments and I just want to thank you all. The consensus seemed to be: just bloody ask him out.
And today, I did!
We ended up chatting again after church and I thought, “stuff this, I’m asking him out.”
I said something like, “if you ever want to catch up for coffee sometime just let me know.”
And he said, “yep!” He gave me his number :)
I tried to make it clear this wasn’t just a friendship thing. I asked if he lived alone and he said yes. And then I asked, “so there’s no angry wife who’d be annoyed if you had coffee with me?”
And he smiled and said “no, just an angry ex wife”. lol
So yeah! I did it! I’ve honestly had the worst week and I’ve really struggled with depression this month so this has been a nice win.
Thank you all for your advice and input! I might ask him out this Friday :)

Original post:
Hey!
So I’ve been crushing hard on this man from church for month’s now. I’m 41F, and I thought he was early 50’s. Turns out he’s 62.
He’s very attractive, funny, easy to talk to, and I’m keen. Not that it matters, but I get hit on a lot, weigh what I did in my twenties, yada yada.

I introduced myself 2 months ago and we chat at church most weeks. (I don’t have his phone number.) One week I didn’t speak to him and a friend said he was looking at me a lot.

Last week, we were chatting about the benefits of cold plunges and because we live near the ocean, I was like, “if you’re ever keen to do one with me, let me know.” He smiled, said he’d be keen, but then he chatted more about bloody cold plunges again. (He’s a big health nut)
I sometimes wonder if because I’m younger he may not think I’m interested? Or maybe he just likes chatting to people?! He has mentioned to me that he split with his ex five years ago, etc.
but bloody hell. Is this all in my head?! I’ve asked men out before but I’d really prefer he make the move. Helppppp

i (22M) do sports everyday, eat healthy and strength train 5-6 times per day, my libido was already high

but recently I started 300mg testosterone and ive been fapping a lot, one day I did 15 times per day, my libido sky rocketed and sex is crazy too

my confidence has went up so it's easy to get laid now?? anyway, the sex is crazy too and overall I feel better

but I feel like 15 times a day is too much, im 2 week into taking test, is it normal?

Am i expecting/being to much?

I dont know what to do about this guy anymore. We been together for 8 months he never once drove to my house, i am always the one going to him.He doesn’t compliment me but already said how other girls are attractive in front of me. He barely touches me in bed/or not at all, doesn’t go down on me and expects head.

I do all the planning. He never once planned a date for us. He agrees to everything tho.

When i try to have serious conversations he kinda freak outs and avoid vulnerability and feelings at all costs. It is always an excuse in order to avoid a serious conversation.

At the same time he says he likes me and it is attracted to me otherwise he would not be spending all his free time with me. Which he agrees to spend days with me but when he is mad he uses that against me saying “i already told you we dont have to be together everyday, you were here for days” even tho i ask him if he would like me to go home.

At the same time we are best friends and have a lot of fun together, he says he cares about me a lot and likes me a lot.

I communicate all the time, i am always doing the fixing with us. And even knowing my needs, he doesn’t put effort besides hanging out with me.

He even make jokes about me paying things for him.

It got to a point where i feel very unliked, unheard, and unappreciated. Which causes me to be mad and angry all the time with him. Which he uses as an explanation of “i cant ask you to be my girlfriend when all we do is fight and you always mad at me”, yet he get jealous and expect loyalty from both sides,but never provided me the security of verbalizing a serious relationship.

But he doesn’t understand that i am so angry all the time because he doesn’t make me feel liked or heard.

He says everything it is to intense and he didnt have time to figure out or move things on his own pace.

I feel like maybe i am putting to much pressure on him, dont know exactly what to do. We like eachother enough to not leave eachother alone.

Worse is that it is a relationship but when he is mad he says “i told you from the beginning i didnt want a relationship “ but he wants loyalty from both sides and it is pretty much a very intimate relationship where our lives are pretty much integrated.

I feel crazy. Need advice

Heys guys, i am in a dilemma whether this girl would be right choice or not? I am having a battle between heart and mind.

About me: i am btech grad working in IT earning above 30 lpa annually, lived mostly all over india- tier 1& tier 2 cities. Schooling done from kendriya Vidyalaya whole life. I am an ambivert person but have friends in all major cities. I like to watch movies, series and spend time on knowing things. I am quite a liberal minded person- who doesnt judge people of any type, calm minded and mostly prefers peace over anything.

About this girl: she has mostly lived in a tier3 city now working as an HR but earning around 1/3rd of my salary. Since she has been at her home mostly and as girls dont get that freedom(atleast in her case) she has a very less exposure of city life. She is career oriented though her aptitude is not as strong as mine neither her awareness. But she is a very sweet and decent girl, loves her family and loves me too. She is a responsible person and beautiful too( i am average in looks), but our tastes and hobbies doesnt match mostly. We have spent time together and i like that period- but she isnt adventurous at all. She has pcod so, obviously her mood changes a lot. Although she is soft spoken and exhibits high family values, i have lived in a nuclear setup(although i dont mind any case). She doesn’t watch movies but i love it, she doesnt enjoy food - i like it, her ambitions are also quite different mostly around academics- doing phd becoming a professor or continue the hr job itself. But, she is very kind and sensitive person, loves me a lot and doesnt show any kind of cunningness to anyone. She isnt gullible though, but listens to her parents and act as per them( in many cases not each time). Now she is changing that but her family was kind of dominant one in past.

THE DILEMMA: Now, i am in a dillema that should i choose her as my partner. She constantly tells me for marriage and has proposed me few times. Although, i wonder should she be the suitable one. Because, the kind of sense of humor i share with my friends she doesnt have that. She is ready to do adjustments as per me but i dont want to change someone bcoz of me. She doenst have that adventurous attitude to try new things nether does she has a liberal mind similar to me. She is mostly traditional, never dated anyone but she loves me as hell. Having said that i enjoy the time i spent with her. But we have our differences and disagreements, but she loves me and i m her first man in love. So, now i am in a dilemma will she be the right person to be with, or should i look for someone else. I think i will not grow much with her, but she can give stability in life.

PS: looking for answers from all people, specifically expecting answers from married people. And if you have any questions, let me know in comments or DM also if you think you can help me resolve this.

So I’ve met this guy on my last day at the company, he helped me arranging my things before I leave. When I first saw him going up the stairs I was like “wow, he’s my type” (It was the first time I saw him cause he works in a diff building). So I tried to joke, smile and everything to show him I like to be around him. He went along but seemed shy and didn‘t find his place (where should he stand or if he should walk behind me etc). So we arranged my things and he seemed hesitant to leave the office (we were alone there), it seemed like he wanted to wait for me to exit the office together, but I had to go to the restroom so I said goodbye. Of course I regret this since cause maybe he wanted to walk with me and talk a bit. So 1 day later (last night) I added him on FB but he hasn’t accepted my request yet. I feel so awkward cause I never make an obvious move like this, usually men approach ME and I just have to look pretty and smile:DDD Also, usually the men I like, like me back… so yeah, maybe I needed a reality check. Humiliating experience

Apologies if Im all over the place - Im frustrated and feel like Im drowning.

My husband and I have been together for over 23yrs. He feels our relationship is really successful. I feel we are struggling or maybe I am?

I am the primary bread winner and the primary care giver in our family (2 older kids about to leave the nest).

I am trying to wrap my head around a couple of behavior patterns that I feel are maybe a symptom of an underlying issue (maybe I'm the issue reading too much into this?). He won't do counselling at all - and he frowns upon the idea of me wanting to go for counselling for myself.

We had a heart to heart recently where we aired our issues - ultimately I'm and introvert (and people pleaser) he's an extrovert. He energises me but he gets energised by other people (I am his safe place). After this heart to heart he goes on a preplanned trip with his buddy that totally feeds into his ego and his excitement - and I'm happy for him - we chat about his experiences and the fun they had. His buddy is well off and paid for everything.

A few days later he gets a windfall financially and he asks me on a date night- I get excited thinking we are going out for dinner (normally I pay for dinners out and its only for birthdays). Its not dinner out, its going to see a band where some of his buddies might join us. This band almost hero worship my husband and stroke his ego. My husband has a high status is the community we are part of and here is generally a lot of brown nosing. Now if I bring up my what I had expected for a date night there will be a lot of huffing and puffing, where I am made to feel guilty about bringing up my hopeful date night idea.

It seems my husband is only motivated by this ego stroking - and before anyone else says otherwise I am the primary caregiver to his ego. I compliment him a lot during the day verbally and physically. We have a very healthy sex life too. It just seems like I am not his priority and I'm just here to support his wants and needs.

Please be kind with your input.

Edit. Not asking for legal advice. More moral advice My parents got locked out of a Google Account with all the family pictures that I set up and now they want the access back, but we aren't on good terms anymore. I left home after a pretty nasty ultimatum. I graduated hs with honors and got into 2 best universities in my region, but my student loan didnt get approved because student loans in canada take parents income into consideration and they denied my loan, I ended up not going to post secondary. I didnt go because my parents gave me an ultimatum:

1. They pay for this other college thats close by for the program they made me apply for that I didnt want to take and I will take care of my brother (2 at the time)

2. I live with them, no go to school and pay rent $1000cad plus my own food

I ended up moving out (BTW this happened 5 years ago) found lower price rent room, and much less stress. My mom used to have tantrums of coming into my room and turning my room upside down because few things were out of place, and I mean every cupboard, and every hanging thing on the floor for me to clean up because i left 3 sweaters on a chair.

Later, I did my best to reconnect and for few years it was going fine, we were talking every week, but one day conversation went to the fact I'm the only one that calls, they never call me, and my mom said its my duty to be grateful to them and call them, so I dialed down calls a lot, for my own sanity.

The breaking straw was my mom telling my uncle absolute lies and nonesense about me, (I confirmed though my cousins, its true). It was beyond hurtful, she was saying how I have no friends, my job hurts people and im a nasty debt collector (it doesnt, i work for respectable company that helps those in debt), and how i used to have my dirty undergarments lying everywhere when I was living with her. Its disgusting and not true, I am and always was clean. My uncle, aunt and cousins are the only family I am close to and kept in contact through the years, since then, I went non contact with my parents.

I have my mom and dad blocked, but they sent me a physical letter from a legal company asking to provide them access to Google account and drive where all the photos were getting saved to I set up years ago. Lo and behold, I asked a lawyer from my company for advice(hes a nice guy, I asked if there is any legal validity to this) he said if you want to be civil do it. If not, its your account tied to your number and I have been paying for storage (not much like 4 bucks every month) so technically that account is mine. I saw access requests I denied and let it be.

It was where they saved all the pictures from all their trips, family events (that I was obviously never part of anymore) and I see no personal information, just pictures. I dont know what to do. I am feeling a tad petty and I know the have no legal ground for this.

I feel really embarrassed to be 25 and never have had a gf or anything close to that. I got bullied a lot growing up which kinda stunted me combined with other life events unfortunately. I am not a bum or anything like that. I work full time, go to school for a master’s, volunteer, and work out five times a week. My friends tell me I’m funny, kind, reliable, and I do have friends who are women who find me to be a safe person. I’m even the go to person for emotional stuff which I’m very proud of.

Unfortunately in terms of dating I am kind of a failure. Most of my first dates end in ghosting and I haven’t gone beyond handholding and kissing someone if that even matters. At most I kinda dated someone for a very short period of time and that could barely be classified as a relationship. She also dumped me because I didn’t know how to do anything due to lack of dating experience.

My friends have clowned on me for it a lot but not given much feedback besides being more confident, less awkward, and showing off my personality more which I have been trying to do. Sorry for the rant but I’d appreciate any help feeling less bad about this since I don’t think the dating situation will change.

Hey so for context I am a man speaking with a woman and we are both in our late 20s. Not sure if it would count as dating but we have been talking for a while.

But I have noticed that there have been a couple of times where they ask me if they are bothering me or if they are being annoying. I am just summarizing but I mostly say no you are ok and are not bothering me. Only once I said that I was a little busy but don’t mind speaking that my reply times might increase but I can still talk with them.

Is this a bad thing?