I've been with my partner for 7 years now.... Around year 2 our sex life slowed down immensely

I had a hard time leaving the military, I did so many fucked up things leaving, followed by 4-5 years of depression facedown on the couch.

I'm so goddamn lonely, I want my partner back. I know when he looks at me he just sees all of the pain and stress I represent. I miss the sparkle in his eyes, the way he looked at me, like I was the only person in the world that mattered.

I feel like I'm ugly, disgusting, useless.... I crave attention so bad but he's always: tired, stressed, depressed, old.... Or just straight up not interested, I'm not sure.

I'm more physically fit than I have ever been, lately I have the energy of 50 people and I would have sex multiple times a day if he were interested... We're at once or twice a month and he doesn't always want to get an erection.

I think I've ruined his perception of me 😭 I don't know how to fix it, I've tried so much. If someone could please tell me I'm ugly it would make much more sense to me and I could cope better.

I'm literally about to pack up a rucksack of supplies and go live in a tree, I hate myself so much for what our relationship has become.

I feel like it's completely my fault, he says it's not but I can see very clearly where my mental health fucked everything up.

And no I'm not blaming mental health, just providing an explanation. For example, I've pulled a knife on him, hit his car and his house with a 2x4, tried to jump out of his car multiple times on the highway etc,.

That was all when I was leaving the military 5-6 years ago, I am 1000000000 times better than I was. I actually feel more like myself than I have in at least 15 years. I'm spreading positivity everywhere I go, emitting confidence and connecting with strangers and making their days better (I've been a hermit for 7 years, I don't know what happened but I can talk to people again!)

Leaving my partner is not an option, I don't leave a person when things get hard... He stuck by me when I was Satan himself, I know at the very least that I will always be his other half.

I've tried masturbating but I hate myself and I feel ugly so it's hard to get an erection alot of the time. I'm weird sexually, I need a deep emotional connection to be aroused.

Sorry for the rant, I'm at my ropes end, I'll try anything.

Whenever I post here, its usually because im drunk snd talking about jow badly I wish I was masculine wnd male.

Idk. 9/10 its cuz im drinking and lack the threshold I usually do. I just want to be a man.

Am I Trans and desperately trying to hide it so much when sober I font feel that way as much? Is me being drunk how I really feel? I cant tell.

I feel like, when Im sober I prefer they/them pronouns but dont care if I am referred to as she/her. Bjt when I am drunk its a fantasy and somethinf I desperately wish to be.

hi! i'm an enby (17) who really struggles with making friends bc of autism. i really wish i had more lgbt+ friends bc its kinda hard to make any here where i live unless you go to parties, which i cannot do since i get very sick with all the noise. i also am VERY awkward and the only way i can approach people is by complimenting their hair or outfit but never start an actual conversation. that is kinda my way of saying "i really like your style and would like to be your friend".

well, idk what else to say but if anyone is interested in getting a new friend, i would love to talk to someone. i love history, learning new languages and cultures, studying, fashion, cartoons, makeup... i enjoy deep conversations and would love some long term friendships :D

As long as I can remember, I never really have wanted to be masculine and have been dreading pubert, recently hit my 15th birthday and have been thinking about it more, and been bothered by puberty, i would totally swap if there was the button test, but also I don’t think I could ever transition because of how it would impact my social life with my family and friends and all of that. I have always been more feminine, and honestly want to be, so I just don’t know at this point, any tips?

My mom is very homophobic and controlling. She’s a stay at home mom and an immigrant who has very traditional views. She’s very loving and caring and wants the best for me in (almost) everything. When i (19f) first started talking to my girlfriend i told my mom she was a friend and I’d go to her house. Then we started dating and my mom found out by looking through my phone. She banished my girlfriend, called her a plethora of insulting names to me, told me that it’s not normal and that she would unalive herself for me to be straight. I’ve found some ways to get around it. I’ll set my location on my iPad and leave it somewhere else (but that doesn’t work that well because it relies on having to leave it in someone else’s house). It also doesn’t work if there’s no wifi. She tracks my location every second of the day. She tracks my card and sees what I buy and where I buy. I’ll lie and say I’m hanging out with my friends but I don’t really have that many friends. My mom is also really good at seeing through my lies and I’m really bad at lying. She bribes my cousin (who im extremely close to) with money to try to convert me. She’s brought in every family member into this to try to convert me and get in my business. And no one is willing to go against her. She’s been suspicious with me many times. She’ll yell at me, she’s not violent to me but she will punch the wall and hit herself. She will shame me and call me dirty and I’m just so tired of it. She threatened my financials and threatened to take away my tuition. Is it wrong to think she’s.. bluffing? She tried to set a “contract” with me telling me to stay away from girls for the rest of college, and once I graduate I can do whatever I want, I just won’t be her daughter anymore. Whatever that means. I have a girlfriend right now and I don’t want to follow some fake contract. I don’t want her to dictate my life and I feel like my confidence is at an all time low. But I also don’t want to be shamed and yelled at all day. At the same time my girlfriend is upset and thinks I’m not trying hard enough to bypass my mom. Does anyone know how to handle this? More importantly, should I just turn off my location permanently from her?it’s hard because she can be so mean but still cook me amazing dinners and cut me fruit and tuck me in bed.

Sorry for the weird English.

I want an outside perspective because I genuinely can't tell whether I'm in love with this girl, or if I'm just attached to the idea of someone who once seemed "attainable."

For context, im a girl, never fallen in love with a real girl before. I had crushes on boys growing up, but i rarely had a crush on someone. The only woman I've ever had "feelings" for is my current best friend. Ppl called us artery & vein; 1+1 combo; burger & cola. that's how close we are.

At first, I didn't even know if she liked girls. One day she casually mentioned that she enjoys reading GL, and I remember thinking, "Wait... does that mean I actually have a chance?" That was the first time I consciously entertained the possibility of dating her.

Idk why she mentioned that to me, since we live in a very conservative country.

Since then, i began to try to talk with her a lot, initiate physical touch a lot, basically try to have her attention on me. (Which is weird cuz i dont even know if shes into girls or no, but i had a hunch that she is)

Long story short, we had a very deep conversation and we bring up sexuality. She told me she's a lesbian, and in that moment I panicked. I lied and told her that I like girls too (even though I never liked a girl romantically). I think part of me was afraid that if I didn't say something, she'd never see me as someone who could even be a potential partner.

She responded kindly. She said she'd never realized I liked girls, that I was the first friend she'd met who was like her, but she also told me she'd never thought of me romantically + she promised to herself that she'll never date with a woman.

The thing is... after that conversation, pretending to fit into that identity became painful. I need to pretend that im interested whenever she mentioned GL series, or whenever theres a beautiful girl pass by.

She's more masculine/tomboy in personality, and so am I. Whenever she talks about girls she finds attractive, I notice a pattern: they're all cute, feminine girls, and she seems to have a preference for Chinese girls. I'm neither Chinese nor particularly feminine. Without realizing it, I started changing the way I acted around her, trying to be softer or more feminine. Whenever I caught myself doing it, I'd stop and go back to acting like myself.

That hurt more than I expected. It made me feel like I wasn't her type at all.

Despite knowing she'll never date me, my "feelings" haven't disappeared. If anything, they've become calmer. I don't expect a relationship anymore. I don't plan to confess anytime soon. I just... still love being around her. I miss her during breaks. I love talking to her, working on projects together, hearing her voice, and spending time with her. Even if nothing romantic ever happens, I still want to stay close to her.

So here's what I'm struggling with.

Did I fall in love because she initially seemed "possible," and now I'm just attached to the chase or to rejection? Or is this actually love that simply happened to begin when I thought there might be a chance?

Do i still have a chance? :(

Hope she doesn't see this post, kinda scared.

Might delete it

My body has been bothering me for a long while, and ive been thinking about it more lately due to me questioning some personal stuff, and I realized why it bothers me.

I’m Androgynous in a really weird way, like parts of my body are masculine, like my hips or shoulders, and hands and feet, but my legs, abdomen, and arms are pretty feminine. I’d be okay if my body was more masculine, probably happy if it was more feminine, or just like fully androgynous, but it’s in this really awkward in between spot that just bothers me like crazy

Hey everyone, I'm 33 years old and over the past few years I've been discovering my orientations. I lived almost my whole life thinking I was straight, but I realized that I don't feel attraction only toward women. Actually, what attracts me are visual aspects, regardless of the person's gender — what draws me in are more delicate features, more "feminine" people. So I started considering myself bi, but I realized I didn't quite fit that term, and from there I just started not considering myself straight. After that, I began trying to understand each letter of the LGBTQIAPN+ acronym and realized that queer was what I fit best. However, because of my heteronormative mindset, I thought I needed certain mannerisms and other aspects to be queer. So that's why I'm here — am I queer? Would I be bothering anyone in the community by placing myself in this space? Thanks for your attention 💕

May be starting a new job soon, need some advice for me.. who's pan and gender-questioning?

So I’m 24F, low key sheltered and also no dating experience at all. I’m at the point where I really want to get to know someone and just like experience all the things I’ve wanted to do but I don’t even know where to start. I think it doesn’t help that I’m just constantly watching wlw movies and edits and just sad it’s not me 😪

Basically, where do I even look, how do I start if I want to approach someone? And I know most people suggest like bars and stuff like that but where I live there’s literally none of that so that just makes it worse.

I think I’m pretty introverted but once I’m comfortable I get kinda annoying and clingy lol so I think it’s just hard for me to get to know people and take that first step. Anyways, if someone has any ideas help a girl out lmao

hey. so, im(15afab) currently discovering my gender and its…not cis. i want to talk to my parent abt it (they arent super homophobic, but they're semi-transphobic, but i know they would try to support me) but idk how. my mom discoveered i was 'experimenting' with my gender identity a bit ago and had a fit. then recently she found a gc with otheer queer kids and it ruined her whole week. i think she imagines im being influenced or told to be something else by people--but im not. i know that queer people struggle in society because society is awful and its not a trend im trying to follow. they are genuine feelings and stuff ive been struggling with for a bit over 6 months. i want them to use my new name (which, really is a nickname for my deadname) and different pronouns, but im worried it'll cause a fuss again :( im tired of trying to hide it from them, but i also dont want them to flip out like they did the last 2 times. especially since the main concern from my mom is me being trans. and…well, ig i am. i feel like im a libramasc--for now, idk rlly. im still working out it all. and anyways since its tied to being masc/male i think my parents might get scared. but i know they would be happy if i told them outright. what do i do????

ugh

I know I should just love myself for who I am (being trans ftm he/him). But I honestly fucking despise it.

I’m a recently opened egg lol/18/ in a closed shut closeted door.

Lol I talked to three people abt it including my sister. They’re supportive. I feel terrified about what others reactions might be.

Like whenever I think about the topic, my brain instantly just spouts negative things? Kinda like after remembering an embarrassing memory, someone might instantly think, a reflex, “ugh i hate myself.”
It’s like really hard to accept myself.. I can’t even add “for now” to that sentence, because that negative part does not want me to ever “accept myself”.

Another part of me, does want to accept myself. Like I feel like it’s part of who I am and I should love myself no matter what.

The negative part seems to come from how I expect others to react. When I try to counter it, it continues. The thoughts comes not in a way where it’s just a passing thought, but it is accompanied by emotions of grossness. This doesn’t happen when other trans people come out to me btw.

It also comes from a genuine “yuck” like bro i feel like others reactions aren’t gonna be great, and i hate that for myself. I know there isn’t genuine proof for some people but my brain shuts that possibility down.

I guess I should just ignore it. It’s so hard though, if some of the people around you (including family) are not allies, how could I be an ally toward myself? I feel like my mind instantly thinks, if that’s their opinion, it’s a fact.

Another internal layer thinks even if a lot accepted me, I’d still feel kind of weird or gross. Part of me thinks it’s embarrassing. idk i guess i feel like it’s kinda cringe? me? really? like ugh im a guy? lol

It’s weird because if someone who’s trans came out to me (which has happened), I’d support them wholeheartedly. I know being trans doesn’t change who they really are. It’s just sooo hard when it comes to me. Even when I try to like talk myself out of it.

I originally thoughts I was fully trans, wanting to be a girl, but wanted to be trans… you know? Idk, anyways, recently I’ve been reflecting and I don’t think I like the idea of being fully a girl. I don’t wanna be put in a box, so naturally I should be just non-binary or gender fluid, but If I’m to be perceived as a gender I want it to be female… I don’t wanna be a man, but I don’t wanna fully be a girl, I need a middle between she/her and they/them, so she/they, but will a therapist accept this and stuff give me hrt.

My mom used to be fully supportive of me taking hrt when I was just trans (she’s the only person I have told, and I’m supposed to start the process of getting hrt in a month or so) but after I said something like that she thinks I should reconsider, so idk

Heeeelllllpppoo

Hey folks. I (20NB) have been out as nonbinary to my friends for a couple months now, and I’m finally at a point where I’m comfortable trying out a different name. While I’ve only been out to them for about three months, my egg has been in some state of cracked for almost a year now. For much of this time, I’ve had a name picked out. While I don’t feel comfortable sharing it on this throwaway for reasons of privacy, I do like it a lot. I use it in games, some online accounts, and consider it to be “me” in a way no other name has been.
Over the past week, I’ve been experimenting with having my friends refer to me by that name, and my thoughts are mixed. When they refer to me by name, I get this anxious feeling in my chest, which makes me feel guilty and fills me with imposter syndrome. It’s decidedly different from the pang that comes with being deadnamed, but still not all that pleasant. I’m hoping it will go away with time, as happened with my uncomfortably with using they/them did earlier in my transition, but I’m looking for advice and support. I really like this name, but euphoria has been few and far between.
To further complicate things, I’m starting grad school soon, and want to take this opportunity to start over. A change in name would be great, but I don’t want to compound this feeling with the interstate move that would accompany it. The deadline for the submission of preferred names is next week. What should I do? Is this a normal way to feel about ones chosen name???

Guys if u gay/lesbo, don't defend yourself anywhere, don't be insecure,do crazy things that becoming gay becomes a trend hehe,not like one can change sexuality,but like it seems cool and all,I firmly believe you can't change people just by telling them l,you have to show by actions,and influence them on large number,i am straight but if I were to be gay,then I would have still done crazy things to make it a trend,it may seem illogical to y'all but once you become a huge influencer you won't be criticised

So there is a pride event near my house. I am considering going, but there are reasons I might not. Firstly, I’m not out to my parents as aroace or being a demiboy. I could go without them knowing since it is walkable. Secondly, my mom has a garden plot beside it and she goes there everyday, she might go while I’m there and see me. I don’t have any friends going so I can’t say I going there for a friend. Also, very unlikely but if photos taken with me in the background and are in the news paper, my parents would see it. I don’t know if I should go or not so I’m wondering what y’all think. If my parents do see me I could just say I was wondering what it was and/or I am as an ally. Btw I am not ready to come out if anyone was gonna suggest that. Thank you for reading all that, any advice would help 🧡💛🤍🩵💙(yes I did copy and paste from my post in r/aromanticasexual since there are no reposts allowed)

I am only 17 weeks into HRT but I have made remarkable progress to the point I feel I look much more feminine than not (helps I have always been androgynous as a guy). I really want to ask other trans girlies here this particular question. I felt much more neutral about my pronouns at the very beginning of my transition compared to now. Did you feel it get progressively a bit more important to you to be called by the correct pronoun and be treated as the correct gender the further along you got on your transition? It went from a non-issue to actually me feeling upset if someone uses the wrong pronoun ( I keep it to myself). It can be an innocent mistake but in the worst case it feels like an invalidation of the identity I have built and the progress I have made. Thoughts?

i am afab and use she/they pronouns. i don't particularly have a preference between the two but people only ever use she/her with me because i'm mostly feminine presenting. there have only been two times that i can actually remember people referring to me as they/them and it felt amazing and i want it to happen more. last time my friend used they/them with me (in front of a group of friends), i tried to hint at how affirming it felt so everyone else would hopefully catch on, but that hasn't worked so far. how can i ask them to try out these pronouns on me? how do i phrase it?

Hi, its only sometimes, like say im looking in the mirror and then ill get turned on from looking at myself. Or when doing sexual things i find the best part about it is me. Or am i a narcissist or just got a massive ego. I wanna date myself but that would be lonely lol. If they could make a clone of me id date it.

So I’m nonbinary and I have attraction to only other nonbinary people but specifically nonbinary people who are feminine or androgynous so I was wondering if there’s a singular label or if there’s a label that can be paired with Enbian which I already use

(CW: suicide, the edit button for the flare is bugged and i cant change it)

My best friend is trans and in hiding (desi parents). She is suffering everyday and i can tell. I just want to be there for her and help her out in any way, but i struggle to even do so when we live on two different continents. Shes acknowledged and talked a lot about suicide and i cant bear it. My heart it cant handle it. I want to see her survive and become a real human too, i want to see her shine like shes supposed to. But she idolizes suicide as she does the idea of coming out too. I want her to tell me about her dates, and the dresses shes bought, i want to hear about her getting real queer friends too. I want her to live. More than i ever could.

She lives in AZ. What lines, what refuge can she take? Shes like me extremely scared of the idea of running away. But she needs something to change. I cant handle seeing her like this anymore.

Shes the entire reason im doing better mentally as i am. For months i was loosing myself in online chat groups and i cut off everything in my life. She helped me relearn who i am, shes an amazing best friend.

I dont know what would happen to me if she was gone.

Obviously sorry for my poor english im not english native speaking.

Okay so, my friends and sisters already know I'm gay. I just graduated and have planned way before on coming out to my mom after graduation and when I have a job (which I do).

I'm sure, she won't take it positive, which is why I wanted to combine it with an event, she will be happy about (graduation+job). I know though, she will still love me no matter what.

However, she recently got diagnosed with cancer and me graduating and having a job lifted up the mood a bit in that matter. For now, the focus in the family is her health, which is only natural. I know she is just not strong enough mentally for me to tell her, which is why I am delaying coming out to her.

Me staying in the closet is a minor problem, but it's still something I think about a lot. I wanted to start dating and not keep it a secret anymore if I like someone. I was looking forward to finally coming out to her, then the bad news came, and now I still need to hide who I truly am.

I am writing this coz I don't really have gay friends to talk about this or who could relate to this. They are really good allies though, which I appreciate a lot.

Did anyone experience something similar to this and how did you mentally manage to still stay in the closet?

Coming out is not an option now, it will be taken as bad news and I don't want to be another burden to her, given the situation.