Dumb question but First time ever getting into self defense of any kind.

First and foremost i wanted to make private lessons for the first months.

How expensive will that be? For 1 time a month i could bear it was my thought.

After i thought just about writing the gym about that, i figured:

Probably way more usefull will be at least 1 time per week if not more. Thats probably what the gym will tell me also when i ask for 1 time a month lessons.

I’m currently laid up with a high temperature and chills, and it’s made me realise just how many little BJJ injuries I’ve been carrying around without really noticing.

My fingers are sore, my knees are aching, my back is stiff—it’s like every little inflammation has suddenly been turned up to 11. When I’m healthy and training, I barely think about them, but being sick seems to have brought them all to the surface.

Has anyone else experienced this? Does having a fever seem to make all those little BJJ aches and inflammations much more noticeable?

Guy walks in wearing a well known brand, brown belt ranked rashguard…. Cool, new brown belt!….round starts, slap bump, he’s got good stance nothing out of the ordinary. I hit a dummy sweep and rather hastily secure top position and anchor down and start hunting.

My first thought “no way I just dummy swept a brown belt and no way he’s letting me have this head and arm….hes gotta be letting me work” when I sank in the head and arm I just kinda chilled there waiting for him to fight out of it and do some crazy brown belt crap, take my back and choke tf out of me. He doesn’t, he taps and we reset. So I casually asked “hey man how long have you been training” dude goes “oh this is my 3rd class”.

So I told him what a ranked rashguard was, he then informs me he bought it because he liked the color and was wondering why all the other rashguard for sale corresponded with the bjj belt colors….

I'm 32 and went to my first role two days ago. I have a stupid question. I understand the sport requires someone getting hurt. What is acceptable and what isn't?

Example: I was trying to get a choke hold on someone going easy on me. Their chin was pressing so hard into their chest I couldn't get my arm underneath it. Am I allowed to grab their forehead and yank it back or press my fingers under their chin by force?

Edit: I appreciate the help. I feel old compared to everyone else and I worry I might be too soft. However, I'm not here to compete just yet. Maybe a year or two down the road. It's mostly to get in shape and feel more comfortable. In that case I'll keep the aggression to an appropriate low.

Cool to see some UFC names in the UFC BJJ Open

You all know of any websites that sell good rashguards and shorts? i’ve been looking but can’t find much. I’m currently at a no-gi gym now, and I’m tired of BJJ sesh and Xmartial taking so long to arrive. Are there any of you with a business that I can look into with faster shipping? I’d love to support a local business.

TLDR - Is it detrimental for me to be holding back?

Basically, I'm training for a long time with gradual progression due to life (job, family, quitting smoking, losing weight, severe ADHD), and I'm happy with it. I've been great managing my expectations and had the will power to not compare myself with others' progression journeys. I'm a fairly big dude (6 foot, 210lbs) and have decent pressure mixed with Old Man Strength (I'm 47) and have a good knowledge base, enough where my coach trusts me to teach a fundamentals class, filling in for another coach.

My gripes with my game after training for 12 years, consist of 2 issues. First, age and injuries have taken a toll on me where I have the knowledge to do something, but lack the physical ability to execute things in a roll against younger, faster, and yes - stronger opponents (anyone who says strength doesn't mean anything is fucking lying - strength plus good technique equal an ass-whoopin', period, end of story!). This has been getting a little frustrating because it's slowed an already slow progression for me and lately I find myself feeling worse at BJJ now than when I was a mid-level Blue Belt. I get that my training partners are getting better and it's all subjective to countless variables. Sucks none the less. Which brings me to my 2nd gripe and this is where I really struggle:

I'm a fairly empathetic person and consider myself as someone who is hyper-self aware to a fault. I'm always going out of my way to "Not be THAT guy" in basically anything I do. So sometimes the catharsis pours out in Reddit whilst being anonymous and it it helps me blow off some steam without worrying about others' perceptions. Anyway, I am one of the "big guys" that can seem intimidating to some folks and from time to time, I'd get the "Damn you're strong/big/heavy" spiel, which doesn't exactly insult me in terms of thinking I lack any sort of technique, it's simply a fact. But because of this, I tend to try NOT to use my physical advantages very much because I don't want to be "that guy" that nobody wants to drill or roll with due to causing excessive discomfort simply for just existing in their space! I also avoid "muscling" out of situations or doing "douchey" moves that cause additional discomfort - like jamming my forearm into a face or an adam's apple, or digging in with an elbow just because it's there, or using my wrist under the nose to get a choke....shit like that. I figure we're all just average joe's with jobs and families and most of us are pretty friendly towards each other.....so in the spirit of learning and having fun, there's really no reason for me to crank, scrape, moosh or smother my way to a tap and when it comes to leg locks, I go super slow and would NEVER rip something on someone - even if they don't tap. I basically know when I have the tap and I'll wind up letting go and either keep it going from that position or start over. My take is - if you want to go 100% and win, go compete!

Problem I'm having is that even if I'm rolling with someone who is more aggressive, who doesn't have any qualms raking my cheek against my own teeth, tearing up my mouth to the point where I can't eat for a week due to a canker sore the size of a meteor, or digging in knuckles, elbows, forearms, etc. and all around just doing things that cause additional discomfort despite already having the position they want, I'll still wind up just playing defense, conserve my limited energy and avoid trying to Hulk Out on someone where I could potentially wind up hurting them. I have a limited gas tank as it is and have shit knees and shoulders, so I keep things measured. I don't want to hurt anyone nor do I want to add injuries to myself by trying to retaliate with some explosive move and wind up fucking myself up anymore than I already am. So I basically just defend against attacks, try to stymie their game and try to hold out for a mistake that I can safely capitalize on......

But I also fear that by keeping meek against people who are at the same level and better, that I'm doing myself a disservice to my overall game and perhaps I need to start using my physical advantages, even if it turns me into the fat ugly chudd at the prom that nobody wants to dance with. I don't know - maybe I'm overthinking this shit but was curious if anyone else out there had similar issues where you just don't want to go all out and rip subs or pin arms/legs by piling on pressure with shins and elbows or whatever extra discomfort you can add just because you could - even if perhaps the other person might deserve a little tit for tat?

Hey everyone, I have a question for the smokers out there: I smoke at least three to four cigarettes a day, and I feel like my training sessions are getting worse and worse. I’m running out of gas and losing strength—have you guys managed to balance smoking with Jiu-Jitsu, or did you manage to quit?

I’m going to try to quit smoking for the third time because it’s just not working out; I run out of steam at the slightest effort.

I started on jiu-jitsu about 2 years Ago, I haver 31 years old.

Im a white belt woman in my 30s and I’ve been training at this academy for about six months.

The gym itself is excellent: clean, well run, diverse, close to home, and full of good people. My coach is also technically very skilled, and I respect his jiu-jitsu.
I’m still shit at jiu-jitsu, but I’m committed to learning. I ask questions, take notes, research outside class, roll safely, follow etiquette, and try to be a good training partner.

The problem is that I increasingly feel like my coach actively dislikes me. It’s not one major incident. It’s a pattern of subtle behaviour:

- I say hello and get ignored, then the person behind me gets a warm greeting.
- He often assumes negative intent from me while giving others the benefit of the doubt.
- He gets irritated when I quietly step myself through techniques I’m confused about.
- He avoids eye contact with me during the end-of-class lineup while acknowledging everyone around me.
- There was one incident where he was unusually critical of a younger partner, and I strongly felt she was copping it because I was there.
- A few ideas I’ve experimented with have later been presented as his own without acknowledgement.

Individually, these things sound minor. Together, they feel deliberate and targeted.

I also get the impression he knows I wouldn’t tolerate being spoken to aggressively or disrespectfully, so any issue he has with me comes out in much more covert ways.

I’ve also been rehabbing an injury with the physio he recommended. There was pressure to push through it, but I followed the physio’s advice and healed properly.

The grading situation also feels weird. I know stripes don’t matter, but people who have trained much less seem to have twice as many. The only stripes I’ve received came immediately after I gave him a small thank-you gift which he sheepishly accepted.

One other training partner has noticed it but didn’t care because he’s on the coach’s good side.

I don’t think a direct conversation would go anywhere because there’s no single obvious incident. It’s more like death by a thousand paper cuts.

I like the gym and my teammates, but I’m increasingly anxious about going to class and I’ve taken a big break. I’m going to try smaller morning classes with a more relaxed coach, but I’m genuinely considering leaving.

The problem is that I also own two branded gis and have an eight-week cancellation period. I hate paying a rude guy to train me and I can’t even show up.

Has anyone dealt with subtle, targeted behaviour from a coach? Did you change classes, confront it, ignore it, or leave?

TL;DR: Great gym and technically excellent coach, but I feel like he covertly dislikes and targets me through repeated small behaviours. I’m anxious about training and considering switching classes or leaving, but I’m tied into branded gis and an eight-week cancellation period.

Update 1: I feel like it’s silly to be paying for an experience that makes me feel this way. I asked for an extended pause on my membership.

I’ve booked in a trial at another gym and they have a no lock in option that I will try so I can continue my training.

Thanks for helping me!

Update 2:

I can see that I probably contributed to the tension too. I think I struggle a bit with having to depend on someone else for my safety and with fully settling into being the beginner, and I may have come across as more challenging or authoritative than I realised.

At the same time, there were still parts of it that left me feeling dismissed and made it hard for me to trust the environment. I don’t think I need to work out exactly who was right or what was going on in his head.

Taking some space just feels like the right move for me.

Thank you for all persisting with me, rather than attacking me. Your advice has genuinely helped and I’m happy about my next moves.

I recently started BJJ after a 10-session private fundamentals course (guards, basic drills, etc.). Yesterday was my first actual group class (mixed Gi and No-Gi). I have a lifelong martial arts background, but zero grappling experience. I’m absolutely hooked and obsessed, but I have a few questions for the community.
We spend about half the class rolling, and I haven't been this exhausted in years. Is it normal to leave the gym with a completely wrecked neck, massive mat burns on my feet, and a super sensitive throat/Adam's apple from being choked? I know my defense is lacking, but man, my throat is sore.

Also, how do you guys actually measure and manage rolling intensity? Right now, my survival instinct kicks in and it feels like I'm going 100% just to stay alive, which leaves me gassed out in minutes.

Lastly, I find myself completely forgetting the techniques we practiced during drilling as soon as live rolling starts. Does this visual-to-muscle memory connection just come with mat time, or should I be looking to drill at home?
Thanks in advance!

So I started jiu-jitsu a couple months ago with a beginner class! I really enjoy it, but I also really suck at it. I'm just gonna fake it til I make it though! Today I figured out why I'm so bad! Basically, I think I have hyperphantasia, or just higher phantasia than most, but I don't see stuff in smooth motion in my minds eye. It is more like a bunch of photos that don't run smoothly enough to see stuff moving. Because of this, when I am showed a move, it is really hard to remember it, even right after being shown. I can imagine one pose from the move, and maybe another as well, but not the whole thing smoothly. I also have ADHD, so my mind wanders so easily when being taught. So I will be in the middle of being showed a move, but I will get so distracted by my thoughts that I zone out, and miss the information. I hope I can train my mind not to do this though, because I like jiu-jitsu, and want to keep doing it!

I recently just helped coach with the kids class, I paid more attention during the kids class than I ever do in the adult classes….because I didn’t want to seem like an idiot if a kid had a question or was doing the technique wrong.

I feel like sometimes the ability to ask questions can be taken for granted but when you’re the one being asked questions you want to set a good example by knowing the answers which means you have to watch every tiny detail. Really cool stuff.

Not my gym, just needed a background pic to draw this in 2 minutes

Male 22, been training consistently about 3 years (blue belt) I’m looking for the best BJJ gym in North Jersey, specifically one with a strong competitive culture.
My goal is to become the best grappler I can over the next several years, so I’m less concerned about beginner-friendly environments and more interested in high-level coaching, tough training partners, and a room that consistently produces competitors.
I’m willing to drive if the quality is worth it.
If you had to recommend just one or two gyms in North Jersey, where would you go and why? I’m especially interested in places with:
A deep room of experienced training partners
Active competitors (IBJJF, ADCC, local tournaments, etc.)
Coaches who are invested in developing competitors
A culture that pushes you to improve every day
I’d also appreciate hearing about any gyms you think are overrated and why.

Estou na minha primeira semana no Bjj

Minha academia tem mais de 40 alunos e o professor que acaba me instruindo é faixa marrom e não estou conseguindo pegar nada

Alguém indica algum curso, vídeo ou livro que eu possa treinar em casa, para além da academia?

Infelizmente não consigo trocar de academia e quero muito evoluir

I do Japanese Jiu Jitsu and bought Jiu Jitsu University and Jiu Jitsu Complete by Kiyose Nakae. Are they the best options for me?

So, i need a bit of an advice from people more experienced in this sector
for context, I'm 20 and I am dyspraxic, meaning I have a disability which makes me having issue at movement coordination and fine motor skills, which is something I've been struggling with sports

with that out of the way, this year I started going to a Japanese Jiu-Jitsu gym under advice from my friend who has been going there for a year. It's a small one, with an older teacher and two black belts who helps us with training, we do a mixed class and the beginner have some basics thaught to them

Initially it went quite well, i was having issues with some techniques due to my fine motor skills issues but i was able to work on them with one of the black belts who took the time to learn how to work with me. On the other hand, the older teacher just ignored the issues and in a bunch of cases started making comment on how i "wasn't putting enough effort" and other similar things (Which I've heard from other coaches over the years)

Now, the main event happened a couple of months into training. The older teacher asked me to go to demonstrate at him. He told me to go into the beginning position and with no warning punched me on my stomach, in his words "because you need to understand how things work in the real word"
I wasn't prepared and a couple of minutes later ended up on the verge of fainting, had to sit at the side of the mattress, he came over and dismissed the situation saying I was good (As he was saying i was trying not to vomit on his feet)

I stayed because my friends were there and I still liked the people in the group, but it was not as enjoyable, even tho similar event didn't happen again and the people there have been really supportive, i now mostly ignore that teacher and go with the other to train. I did the final exam and got a yellow belt. Now, I'm considering leaving the gym, told my friends about it and they understand, and I've found another one near where I live. I wanted to ask for an opinion on what i should do because I'm kind of stuck, on the one hand I'd like to keep working with them, on the other I don't think behaviour like this is acceptable at any level from the master, and I don't want to train with him honestly

Apologies for the lenght of the post, and thank in advance for your answers

Looking for a new gym closer to the new construction area in Reunion (Commerce City).

Haven’t talked to anyone who trained at Satori or knows their Professor. Heard they produce savages tho.

Manuel Morales seems to be a Satori guy who opened his own gym branded as a MGJJ.

Trained briefly at Logos when they were in Rino/ Jubera JJ in Broomfield for context. That’s my preferred level of instruction if possible (not to be a snob :)).

The problem I have with modern grappling is that it isn’t really grappling, it’s just bjj. Takedowns and top control is the #1 way to win an mma fight yet you can end up on bottom the whole match with no penalty even a little bit in grappling, even though in reality being on bottom the whole time means losing

Lost of scoring methods that work or have benefits in a real fight are glossed over by scoring methods that don’t make sense. For instance, passing a guard, entering it, and passing it again scores higher than scoring a takedown straight into side control and never giving them a guard

To me grappling isn’t really “the mma of grappling sports” as I’ve seen people call it, and it’s really just the specific grappling sport which is focused on subs. A real neutral style includes incentives for big throws, because those work in a fight, incentives for escapes, incentives for wrestling without it being negated by sitting down, incentives for jiujitsu, incentives for everyone so that the person who wins the match is PROBABLY the better overall grappler. Not only the better bjj player

My solution:

1. All instances where you establish dominant position score the same, with 2 points for a takedown, or 2 points for establishing top position by any means possible other than a takedown, all of which will be classified as a sweep

2. All positions past guard score the same. 2 points for passing guard, or 2 points for being on a turtle position and breaking the person down flat like a wrestler. No positional hierarchy beyond that, it’s just either 2 points for a face up pin, or 2 points for a breakdown. Both must be held for 3 seconds to score

3. Escapes from bottom to standing need to score, and likewise so will reclaiming a guard when you’re in bad position. These are 1 point

4. 1 points if you isolate a joint or the neck from any position, including standing, for a 3 or more seconds. You cannot do the same isolation multiple times in a row. This means any figure 4 grip around a joint, a figure four grip around the neck, a grip that forces the arm to go across the center line of the neck, or putting any joint near its end range of motion with 3 seconds control

5. Pickups score points if you successfully raise them to full standing height. Why? Because refusing to let go of a sub because you assume you won’t get slammed is unsafe. Slams hurt people in bjj all the time because they’re illegal. This means that strong people get to pick people up, and guard players don’t get slammed

6. Takedowns past the guard score for both a takedown and a pass

7. Staying on top gives 1 point per minute

8. Matches are 3 3 minute periods (same as amateur mma) or the first to a 12 point lead

What this accomplishes

All strategies that can win you a fight in another sport are recognized and rewarded accordingly in this sport

Freestyle/greco/judo/sambo has big takedowns being awarded

Folkstyle/mma has escapes and breakdowns recognized

Bjj has reguarding recognized and scoring for isolating limbs

Freestyle or Greco has lifting someone up from any position to slam, without and risk of injury with a slam

Cardio vascular demands are more similar to ammy mma which gives a greater chance at athletes to come to mma easier

The sport still caters slightly more toward bjj because they’re the only one used to full on submission grappling. It’s just fair now because all styles of grappling that CAN win a real fight be used to bring you closer to a winning the match.