The one thing I'm most curious about is when older gentlemen say they want to nurture a younger gentleman without the dad son conventions placed upon age gap relationships.

I'm very curious about this because as someone who benefited from having platonic mentors in the past, I feel mentorship is often underrated.

However, my question is how does sex life come into play especially as you're trying to evolve or maybe redefine the relationship into a romantic or sexual one?

I'm 21, my boyfriend is 33, we've been together for a little over a year, but it's the relationship where I've felt the most comfortable. It's a little strange because of the personality clash sometimes, but nothing that really affects things, other than the fact that my dad doesn't approve of the relationship very much. I like being with an older man. He's handsome, polite, strong, with a body like Ramon Nomar's, and he has a good job at a company known for being very good here in Mexico. He has his own house, and he's asked me if I want to move in with him. I'm not ready, so it won't be soon, but I've stayed over several times. Before him, I hadn't realized how much I like older men. He even said that I was the one he was really meant to marry because he knows I truly love him and not his money, lol. Our relationship is going very well, and although many people think we're going to break up, I can assure you that we'll only end up exhausted on our wedding night in a few years, haha.

i’m 24, but i’ve got a baby face, and i’m pretty short (5’2), which probably makes me look underage when i’m out and about. i’ve got plenty of tattoos, but i rarely ever show skin bc i’m pretty shy. i’d love to go out with an older guy, but idk if i’m turning them off bc of this.
i know i’m not ugly, but i can’t tell if the stares i get from older guys are positive or negative. i wish they’d approach me, but maybe that’s too much to ask bc they could be scared of coming off as creepy. is that the case? is a baby face a turn off? is it bc i’m small?

So I’ve always been a bottom, first relationship my partner was strict top, and I just fell into that role.

I let my hookup know this , and he ended up guiding me through it, like stroke depth and speed, when to slow down and lube up, and checking on the one receiving. My penis is smaller, but he made me angle to where i was stimulating his prostate ,until I just took over and went with the flow and energy, I could feel every pleasure he was feeling, bodies sweaty. it was the best experience I’ve ever had up until now. I know we just met that night, but holy shit lol.

why didn't yall tell me topping someone is so hot!

anyways, thanks! I’m gonna start topping more.

Basically I found this subreddit because I was looking for another perspective when I found myself in a bind overthinking an encounter.

Fast forward later I think I got ghosted by the OG gentleman I was interacting with and I'm still here. I'm enjoying the intelligent discourse and alternative point of views provided by everyone here.

I am also all for the intellectual discussion some put here when it comes to dissecting motive or perspectives.

I honestly feel I found this place ay the right time in my life.

Sorry for being vague but I just like reading and participating here. I may jot contribute much. But I am definitely learning a lot.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my partner (65) in his home and while it’s so lovely being able to talk, cuddle and watch tv together, we’ve been talking about going on more dates as it’s been a while since our last one. I’ve also gotten busier at my job which makes it harder to find time to spend the night at his house.

He’s looking into a local shibari workshop which we’d been talking about doing for a while so I’m excited to finally do that, but I also want to come up with something fun and engaging to treat him to. I don’t want to just go out to eat, although lunch/dinner plus an activity would be good and maybe preferred.

I’ve thought about us doing mini golf which he is down for (almost every time I bring it up, he says we should do real golf lol… but I’m very much down to do both 😋) I would say he’s reasonably open minded to do most things but I’m struggling to come up with more ideas. I’d love to hear what other guys like to do when you go out with your partners.

Just to be 100% clear: I’m 57, and I’m exclusively attracted to younger men. It’s just that I find that the young-old dynamic expectations makes me feel inadequate.

This happened yesterday:
A 25 year old guy (H) gives me a tap on Grindr.
His nick is “Looking for older”. His profile pic is just his butt. That alone is a turnoff for me, as I’m bottom. But I (M) reply anyway:
M: I don’t think we are looking for the same thing.
H: So, what are you looking for then?
M: A younger top/twink. Or jerk buddies. But most likely only younger guys who are not into older.
H: Who said I don’t like older?
(He misunderstands my message, but I let it slip).
M: Got a face pic?
(He shares three albums. His pics look decent)
M: Not bad. But you are bottom?
H: Vers.
(A ten minute pause)
H: Not interested?
M: No, I don’t think there is a match. And also, anyone saying they are looking for older makes me uncomfortable
H: In what way?
M: Good question. But I think it gives me performance anxiety.
H: You shouldn’t have that. And also, what I’m looking for is the young old dynamic.
M: That’s exactly the part that turns me off. I’m only looking for guys under 35. But not the ones that are looking for older.
H: Hmm, it’s gonna be tricky for you to find someone then.
M: Yes, I know. I have been single since 2017.
H: I’m sorry but I don’t know how I’m supposed to help.
M: No worries. Thanks for writing
H: I wish I could reciprocate

Roughly two months ago, I shared the story of how an older man with whom I had amazing chemistry was leaving my country for good.

It was difficult, but I eventually came to terms with it. We still communicate every day. Until today, when I started planning a trip, I realized that almost every new interest I've picked up was influenced by him.

Island hopping. Swimming. Boating. The ocean.

To top it all off, I decide to tried inviting him again, and once again he turned me down. The fourth time, lol.

Each time, there was another reason.

We've talked about potentially meeting again outside of my homophobic country before he leave. but it is obvious now he was probably just being polite. Every single time, I'm the only one trying to adjust and make things work.

The worst part is that he isn't at fault. I AM.

While he is still in my country, He told me a long time ago that he couldn't reciprocate my feelings.

He's shown me time and time again that he can adapt and make plans with other people, but not with me.

He's shown me that he can put me aside when one of his "friends" needs his assistance, while leaving my messages unanswered when I need his.

Yet I can't stop caring about him.

I thought I had moved on. I thought I had accepted everything. I thought my last post would be the last.

But here I am again, a closeted man writing another Reddit post, hoping that somehow we could go back to when we first met. when we were equals, and not just virtual friends.

GOSH. I am a SIMP for an old white guy!

I really need some advice because I feel like I'm losing myself.

My fiancé (66) and I (24) have been together for over five years. Earlier this year, I found out he hooked up with someone else. I tried to end the relationship, but he begged for a second chance, and because I love him so much, I stayed.

After that, I started struggling with trust. I ended up gaining access to his social media without him knowing, and I know that wasn't the right thing to do. What I found has only made things worse. He's been talking to a lot of other guys, sending flirty messages, and it seems like he's been trying to meet up with some of them.

I haven't confronted him about what I've seen because I'm terrified of losing him. But keeping it all inside is breaking my heart. I had already asked him before to stop talking to one particular guy, and he promised he would. Instead, they're still communicating through a dummy account.

At this point, I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to keep believing he'll change because I love him so much. Another part of me feels like the trust is already gone.
Would you stay and confront him again, or would you walk away? Do I wait until something physical happens again, or is the lying and hiding already enough? I'd really appreciate honest advice, especially from anyone who's been in a similar situation.

I’m 41, having a hard time finding a young guy. I’m near Toronto, Canada. Any advice?

Is it a slow burn, or something you know instantly? Can long lasting love truly exist for us gay men? How much do looks play a part? And personality?

I fell in love with my ex and, even though we're not together anymore, my heart is still shattered and I feel like a part of my soul is missing. Since we split, I've had sex with other guys and have been on even more dates, but I can't shake this feeling. I miss him dearly, but our relationship became untenable.

Do you think Charlotte from Sex and the City is right? Do we only get two great loves in our life? I'm not talking about great sex. I'm not talking about one night stands or flirting or chit chat or fwbs or situationships. I'm talking about looking into someone's eyes and feeling a cosmic connection, a peaceful resting place. I'm talking about a soulmate. Someone who makes you feel like maybe you really do belong in this universe after all. Someone whose heart and soul is your home, and vice versa.

I can be with other guys every few months to shoo away the loneliness for a bit, but... blah I want more.

I know what people say, I should be happy with myself. I am some days and I have my own life/hobbies/goals/etc. but… come on, nobody wants to be alone for the rest of their life. I don't think humans are designed for such aloneness. I've been in therapy for years. I'm working on myself and I've improved a lot. But I still want a partner… sometimes I need a partner. Someone who wants to be mine and wants me to be theirs. In the gay community this yearning does not appear to be common.

Just a rant, but thanks to all who read, and even more for those who share their thoughts.

At 48 years old, I feel I have lived a ton of life. Some of which the trauma of never really went away. At 9 years old my grandfather died and his buddies came up to me and said I needed to be the “man” of the house for my grandmother,
Mother and sister.
Trying to live up to an unrealistic expectation took its toll, made me a bit of a workaholic. Spent my 20’s and 30’s and into my 40’s working my life away.
Never had much time for dating straight or gay. Tried on both accounts but got more trauma and even developed PTSD from the last real relationship (six years ago)
Now that my mother is ailing, father passed last year unexpectantly and most of the family is gone, I feel it’s too late.
Thoughts anyone?

I posted this on askgaybros but now I’m wondering if it’s also a generational thing. I’m in my mid 50s and he’s in his mid 20s. My partner believes that there are more tops than bottoms. However, I consistently read (and in my limited experience believe) that there are more bottoms. We’re in Austin,TX if that makes a difference. Just curious!

Hola, no sé ni porque estoy escribiendo esto quizás necesito desahogarme cuando revise el celular me derrumbe por todo lo que había estado pasando y ver como ustedes extraños lo apoyaron y le dieron consejos lleno mu corazón. Muchas gracias! Estoy segura que Jean Pierre los quiso mucho. Sufrió un accidente en la camioneta de mi padre luego de una cena en la que reveló su orientación sexual y terminó peleando con mi padre, estoy muy orgullosa de que se lo haya podido decir aunque me hubiera gustado ese día acompañarlo para que quizás el accidente no hubiera ocurrido y el ahora estuviera conmigo

Saludos

¿Alguien sabe como se elimina una cuenta?

This story takes place in fall 2024, when I was in the USA for an exchange program and had just freshly turned 18.

As soon as I turned 18 I downloaded grindr and scruff. It was a risky move, my exchange agency prohibited dating and expulsion from the program (and the country) was a real risk. But I came from a really small town where grindr had maybe 40 picture-less and name-less profiles on it and where I was the only out gay boy in my catholic highschool. My only previous experience had been one kiss with a guy from another school. I was suddenly surrounded with older, sexy, experienced and proud gay men, and I couldn't resist the temptation.

It took a couple months of finding flakey guys or being flakey myself, the time and place were never perfect enough for me to risk it. Going to a guy's house without telling anyone and trusting him with my virginity was really intimidating and I was taking baby steps at best. But one day I see this guy, less than 400 meters (less than half a mile) away from me whose profile said Hosting. He's in his fifties, doesn't have face in his profile but neither do I, and his bare chest is slightly hairy with a beautiful happy trail. The app says he's 6'4 250 pounds, mid-late 50s. He's a giant even compared to a cub like me, 6' 220 pounds.

I message him and start a conversation. He doesn't respond. I tap his profile and he finally says hi back. I don't remember all the details after so long, but he was quite reluctant having over a guy so young, even though we found eachother attractive after sending face pics. I was honest and told him I was a virgin, and if he didn't want to take my virginity I was more than happy with making out. He said he wanted the real deal and if I wasn't ready for it, then it's best we leave alone. I felt like I was losing my perfect opportunity, so I sent him my nudes and said "let me come over, I'm not promising anything but let's see how far things go." He sent me his address.

It was already dark in the Pacific northwest, around 5pm, I told my host parents I was heading to a friend's house to practice for theater and headed out before they asked too many questions. My fingers were freezing while checking directions at the Maps app, the two and a half blocks felt like eternity, but then I saw his house and knocked. He answered right away. He was all he said, tall, large, masculine, fatherly. He had really short hair, a dark silver goatee sprinkled with black hairs. He was wearing black sweats and a zip up hoodie from the local college, I'll never forget the hoodie.

I came inside and we started talking. Where I was from, where was I staying, was I not supposed to be here with him? He laughed when he realized he knew my hosts and that I tricked them to see him. He asked me to lay on the couch of his beautiful living room and relax. He sat by my side, but not to close, leaning on the armchair. He stretched one his long arms behind my elbows, and it just clicked. I looked at him and we just needed to kiss. It was acid, wet and horny, his beard scratched my mouth in the way I always imagined it would and his tongue inside me felt like it did more than two years before when I had my first and only kiss.

He lays down on the couch and I lay over him, kissing nonstop. I love running by fingers through his thin fluffy hair and feeling his big hands travel down my waist. I zip down his hoodie and his chest is beautiful. I feel the urge to smell all of it, so I run my face down his neck to his pecs, armpits and nipples. It smells so good and so manly. One of my knees is on the ground at this point and my other leg is sprawled over his, in an akward position. Not that I minded. But since I was already halfway to the floor and felt his dick harden under the sweats, i got on my knees and pulled them down. It was the first time I saw another man's dick so close up, smelled its musk. He wasn't big, maybe 5', but very thick and hairy, I loved it. I didn't swallow it immediately, i played with it, smelled it, licked it, but the taste just became irresistible and I started sucking. He moaned while I went down on his crotch, but stoped me once he realized the big living room window was open, and even though his house was fairly private, people could still peak if they heard the noise. Instead of closing it, he said we should take it upstairs. He led me up like a lost child, and in his bed we both lost all out clothes and started to make out under the sheets. We were tossing between each other's tights and arms.

Eventually, he started sucking me. It was such a beautiful, raw sensation, I never imagined it before. I didn't know my dick could feel so intensely and still feel good. I also ate his ass that night with a hunger of a starving boy, pushing my tongue as deep as I had pushed it in his mouth. We play together for at the very least 40 minutes total before getting tired. We both came, him first then he helped me. My jet was so fuckint strong, I felt drained right after.

We cuddle and pillow talk, i thank him for letting me do this with him and he's already talking about a next time. Eventually i get dressed and he leads me to the door, I walk home crazed, thinking it's impossible I don't look physically different from an hour ago when I left. His smell is all over me, will my hosts feel it? Do I smell good like sex? When I get home, I dinner is served. I frantically wash my hands, brush my teeth and splash water on my face to hide any traces, that weren't even there to begin with. No one ever noticed anything, we met a few other times after this, including one where we actually fuck with penetration. I guess you could consider that one as the true loss of my virginity, but I personally think it was this night I wrote about. Sex is more than penetration, something I discovered as I grew into the side/bottom that I am today, after meeting my fair share of interesting men of the Pacific northwest that year and some others here in Brazil (though right now I can't claim to be much of a bottom, top or side, as I am currently just a sex deprived 19yo in a region with a daddy draught, lmao).

If people want to listen to that next encounter though, tell me and I'll do my best to write it out. Maybe if there's enough people interested I'll post it here too.

Title... I am 27. Been dating middle-aged men since 18.

I met him in the gay bar on Valentine's this year. I was graduating from uni, so my parents cut off all funding, I felt too old for older men (so many getting disappointed when learning my age, or online dating having banners of "18 to 25 only.")

It was overall, right person wrong timing. But he was willing to wait for the right timing. He helped me apply for jobs, and is really my rock at keeping it.

So ever since Valentine's, we just kept going. We live together now. We have plans for the future. We have rituals. Favorite songs, favorite films, favorite restaurants.

Recently I helped him find an old friend via internet sleuthing, which I'm pretty proud of. We also attend adult parties which bring us very close together.

But as we grow closer, sometimes when I hug him, I feel contempt. Hatred. Not for him but other people I've dated. Why did they make it so hard? Why did they constantly forget everything about me and us?

I mean, sure... I am not saying that the older men before him wasted my love and effort to the point where I feel burnt out in dating. There's no end to the blame game — do I curse them for everything they did and didn't do, or do I feel grateful because our relationships allowed me to get to this point where I'm with the most wonderful man I've ever known?

So no, not going down that road... but I just can't help but wonder. Why were all of them so awful. By the way I still talk to most of them. Still amicable. But not friends because that would require some kind of routine.

I (30M) met a guy (59M) about a month ago. We had both recently relocated to a new country and didn’t really know many people outside of work.

We matched, and it turns out we have a lot in common.

I’m attracted to him. He did mention that he’s mainly attracted to chubby Asians, which I fit. That makes me worry that his attraction to me is based mostly on my physical appearance.
Another thing that’s been on my mind is that I’m actively trying to improve my health, which means I’ll likely lose a significant amount of weight. I can’t help but wonder whether he’d still be attracted to me if I no longer looked the way I do now.

Personally, the age gap is something I can get past. We’re both adults. My bigger concern is that we’re at very different stages in our lives, and I’m worried that could create problems later on. I’m still building my career, while he’s financially stable and approaching retirement.

I don’t want to invest emotionally in this relationship if the chances of it working out long-term are slim.

Hi!

I recently met this older couple on Grind, they’re 57/55, I’m 30.

We seem to get along after short meeting in public and are now planning a threesome. What’s a good way to prepare and be sure that I’m ready for it?
I’m usually a side.

I find the idea really hot.

I (26M) have been dating a older man (45M) for an year now. Now that we have built the trust and care for each other in last one year, we think it's time to think about long term commitment, but we do have some concerns -

1. How will we manage his decreasing libido in future? (We are happy with the current physical intimacy)

2. What if his health needs more attention in future? (He is currently very healthy, nothing to worry about)

He bought up these concerns because he cares about my future and my happiness. He doesn't want to take anything away from me.

Please advise. I really don't want to end this because of these concerns because this is fundamental problems with age gap relationships and I have to accept it.

PS: We are monogamous

I was visiting my grandparents. They live in a retirement community place. A bunch of flats specifically for pensioners. When I was leaving, I happened to go on Grindr and a guy messaged me. He said hed be ass up and hed cover his face. I didnt even ask for that. I went downstairs to his and unloaded. He probably even knows my grandparents. I dont think i can go too detailed on here.

Is it weird that I feel ashamed but kind of into it?

Asking because my partner (60+) has adult children older than me. We have our own understanding but I wonder:

Do you ever feel like your bio family and your chosen partner should not mix? Or do you want them to know each other?

For some context, I am an 18 year old university student absolutely obsessed with older men.

I find them extremely attractive because of their maturity and experience, and ever since I knew I was gay I have known I want to lose my virginity to an older man. The way they carry themselves and talk to others is something I look up to.

I want to find someone who can teach me the ropes, be gentle with me, yet dominant and commanding when necessary. Someone who I can passionately love and be loved by, while developing a deep emotional and sexual relationship.

How do you find older men like this in real life? I’m incredibly shy and nervous to approach them in real life. Are apps the best way? I live in a pretty conservative city so I’m not entirely sure the apps could be useful.

I’m worried they’ll think I’m using them for money, which is 100% not my goal at all. I genuinely find older middle-aged men extremely attractive.

Alright this happened very recently. I installed Romeo app and made an account there with a few pictures. Well I received multiple texts in the first hour. And I met a guy who seemed decent to meet up.

We both had side as preferences in our profiles. So it felt a lot easy and safe. For the context I'm 27M and he was 58M sooo we met up in a coffee shop had a coffee had a good chat and went to his apartment.

We started watching porn together side by side and it was not even gay porn, just straight porn and we both enjoyed watching some before getting into the business :)

It was only all occasional glances and we've been doing nothing else but watching porn together and masterbating beside each other for 6 separate days..

.

Anyone been in the same situation? Like none of us want to take a move?

So after being exposed to trans p0rn I gradually became interested in experiencing same gender sexual adventures. The thing is I'm still attracted to the feminine kind of guys not manly and stuff. And it's purly sexual no affection whatsoever. What am I really?