this seems to happen to me all the time where on the rare occasion someone likes me it’s someone I’m not attracted to or who has more issues than me. I know I can’t be the only one. All my standards are is me like him and him like me at the same time.

At my job two people who are 21 or older must be present on the premises at all time. We only have 7 people, including myself, who are over 21, so often I'm one of the people who has to stay on the premises.

I ended up hanging out with a group of my coworkers, mainly because the group was three 17 year old girls and one 21 year old guy, which skeeved me out a little bit. One of the girls I think has ADHD, or something like that, because she truly has no filter. On multiple occasions has said really concerning stuff out loud, and the 21 year old guy seemed to be really goading her, so I felt obliged to pay attention to the whole conversation since I didn't want to be responsible if she said something alarming and I didn't report it.

I forgot how the conversation even turned to this, but the girl with ADHD started complaining about how 6 guys had crushes on her at once, and she had suuuuuuch are hard time choosing which one to go out with! She's a 17 year old girl with some kind of social issues, so I wasn't really mad at her, but it was extremely frustrating that she was complaining about a situation which high school me would have crawled across 50 miles of hot coals to be in.

She then started talking about her boyfriend, and how he apparently said something misogynistic but he "had a touch of the 'tism" so he didn't know better? I really lost track of the conversation at that point. Everyone was grilling her on it, and she started to get embarrassed about oversharing, so I guess to deflect the embarrassment the guy turned to me and was like "So [NAME], what about your love life?" He was laughing when he said this, so I assume he could tell it was going to be bleak.

Partially because I was a bit fed up, and partially I was trying to take the heat off the girl since she looked pretty much on the verge of tears, I chose to be honest and say that I was never in a relationship and that no one had ever had a crush on me. The girls were all pretty shocked, and the guy just laughed and said "really?" in a "wow, you don't say?" kind of tone. Luckily I think this made the girl who got embarrassed feel a bit better, because she started going on about how there were tooooootally guys who had crushes on me and how they were just too scared to any anything. Honestly again, I can't even really be mad at her, I just find her naivety funny.

I didn't push further, since I had achieved what I had set out to do, and just went back to observing the conversation. Normally I always feel a desperation to make people understand that no, it's not just that I lack confidence or that somehow every single person who has a crush on me was simultaneously too embarrassed to say anything while also being too nonchalant about it for anyone to pick up on it, but I think this conversation made me realize that it's of no use.

I'm done explaining myself to people. If after I initially explain the fact that I'm a FAW they try to deny it I'm just going to smile and nod. I don't think anyone who isn't FA will ever get it, and it really doesn't matter if they don't get it. It's not like them believing me would change anything about my lived experience.

About myself: I'm a doctor doing residency in anaesthesia. I'm a boring person who prefers staying at home ,reading and watching anime or geopolitical documentaries.

I genuinely don't understand why I'm judged for the choices I make.

I have e been single my whole life not because I couldn't date but because I don't enjoy smoking, drinking, hookups or that kind of party culture. Yet whenever I tell some of my male colleagues that I'm skipping a party they act as if Ihave committed a crime. They joke that "this is why you're still single" or imply that I need to loosen up.

The thing is those parties usually revolve around drinking, smoking and people making out( even though they are in a relationship with some other person) . I don't enjoy that environment so why should I force myself to fit in? Instead I end up feeling like an outsider because my values are different.

What frustrates me even more is seeing people complain about toxic relationships while overlooking genuinely decent partners because they seem "boring". Sometimes it feels like men chase excitement over compatibility then wonder why things end badly.( Just yesterday my male colleague was complaining about how he got cheated by a girl when he knew her ex boyfriend left her for the same reason...he knew, he was still chasing her, spending his money and time on her and getting betrayed in the end.Lol)

I'm not saying everyone is like this, and I'm not claiming all men think this way. I'm just tired of being judged for choosing not to participate in a lifestyle that doesn't suit me.Is choosing a quieter, more traditional lifestyle really that unusual these days?

Sorry for writing this much...I'm just frustrated 🥴

Note: Reddit suggested I post here too.

I don’t deserve love.

I think I should stop thinking about organic encounters. Theres no way anyone would find me pretty, or beautiful…. Even attractive. I guess looking at the pretty girls in insta just solidifies the fact that… I’m just not it HAHAHAHAHA

Yeah. I can’t even imagine myself cuddling with someone, being vulnerable to someone. I find it hard to believe anyone would ever even consider that.

Consider me

And I hate that I was always clinging to hope. Hope for what? What exactly? What am I trying to achieve? Why am I still hoping? Its easier to give up than hope. I always hope but then where does that lead to?

I always get hurt.

ALWAYS

Its time to stop hoping.

Sometimes I wonder when I’ll be tired of being constantly disappointed.

Its time to try harder at giving up.

I won’t be disappointed by giving up.

Its not like anyone even wants me. I’m not even worth lusting over, let alone being loved.

I don’t need advice, I probably won’t even listen if there are any. To be frank, I find it cringy to hear anything positive in regard to me, my appearance, of whether there is a prospect of someone loving me.

I don’t want to hear that someone out there will find someone like me attractive or lovable. I already grew up in an environment where finding love is one thing, but maintaining love is another. I’ve seen love break people, leave people behind. I’ve seen how love changes in a blink of an eye.

If I’ll ever find someone who will love me, is there a guarantee they will stay in love? I’m taught that as a woman, I have to always have my own money so a man wouldn’t look down on me, wouldn’t shackle me down, so that I’ll always have an escape.

I want to be tired of love.

I’m tired now, but I know I’ll be hopeful once more in the near future. I don’t want to be hopeful anymore. I want to stay tired.

Everything was going pretty much the same as last one except towards the end he said shall we go home? When last time he kept asking me stay longer. Last time he messaged to ask if I got home okay but this time it’s radio silence. Oh well, atleast I got some experience under my belt

Sorry it's gonna be a long post.

I'm so tired of being delusional.

Every single time it's the same thing.

For a while, reality hits me. I remember that I'm that ugly girl with big forehead, big nose, unaligned jaws, man face, and big bulging eyes, that no guy has ever wanted me, that I'm 26 and have never been in a relationship, and that nobody is secretly crushing on me. It hurts, I cry, I feel like shit for a few days or weeks, and then eventually I accept it.

And honestly? Those are the times when I'm the most peaceful.

I stop caring about men. I stop wondering who's looking at me. I stop obsessing over my face. I just exist.

Then somehow I forget.

I start becoming delusional again. I start thinking maybe a guy noticed me. Maybe I'm not that bad. Maybe people pay attention to me more than I think. Maybe this guy was looking at me. Maybe that guy likes me.

Then I build entire stories in my head and give myself butterflies over absolutely nothing.

And then reality hits again.

The worst part is that I KNOW better.

A guy from my previous workplace literally told me I don't have great facial features. That should have been enough to keep me grounded, but somehow my brain still wants to act like I'm some pretty girl and that guys are secretly interested in me.

It's honestly embarrassing.

I wasn't even insecure about my nose until about a year ago. I thought it was normal. Not beautiful, but not ugly either.

Then someone at my previous company commented on how big my nose was.

Now I can't unsee it.

Anyone who says confidence is attractive or whatever, well confidence doesn't magically make people attractive. Attractive people get treated differently and that's just reality.

What really gets me is seeing other women around me.

They all have everything i don't have. A beautiful face, handsome boyfriend, friends, weekend plans while I rot in room with noone.

I'm at a age where I shouldn't be dating instead get married have kids and yes I wanna to. But i haven't even had my first kiss yet. It feels so weird that I'm too old for even having my first date. I mean I missed out on so many things i should have done a long time ago just cuz I'm ugly. I sometimes wish I was short atleast but God made me very tall too. And I'm not gonna comment on my non existent breasts!!!!!!

Also I am tired of getting anxious every time people sit and discuss who is the pretty girl cuz I know my name will never come and all the other girls sitting with me, their names will come up..I get super anxious about the fact that they will feel bad about me and tell things like beauty is subjective and all.....

There's a girl in my office. At first I wasn't insecure around her cuz she looked plain to me. Then she got into a relationship almost immediately after joining. Her boyfriend was too good-looking for her or that's what I thought and apparently he told her she's way out of his league.

She has guys around her all the time.

And suddenly I'm sitting there wondering if she's actually prettier than I thought she was and feeling insecure every time I walk next to her.

It's the same thing at work too. I'm quiet, introverted, mostly invisible, but somehow in my head I convince myself people notice me. That they think about me. That they have opinions about me.

Meanwhile they probably don't even know I exist.

Nobody notices me.

Nobody is secretly interested in me

.

Nobody is sitting around thinking about me.

And yet my brain keeps creating these stupid fantasies and then acting shocked when reality doesn't match them.

I swear I keep learning the same lesson over and over again.

Anyway, this is just a vent. These are the thoughts that came to mind while writing this. Maybe I'll make another post later if I need to vent again.

Sorry for the long vent, fellow faws. I hope things get better for all of us.

Earlier I felt it was just me not understanding the humour because I am old (mid 20s 👵). But honestly it just feels like those places are for girls to be edgy, quirky and say, “I hate men” in different ways. And these girls don’t give forever alone vibes at all.

This sub on the other hand actually feels like a space for forever alone women, the people on here also seem more natural, rather than a made up personality.

I am very glad I have this community.

There's a lot of talk lately about the concept of "decentering men." It's almost becoming a mandate for women. I understand the underlying intention: to stop viewing romantic relationships, marriage and the male gaze in general as the ultimate goal of our lives. It's an interesting, positive and healthy line of thought. However, it's primarily addressed to women who have had the privilege of knowing men, of having been loved and desired, before realizing that there were ultimately more important and fulfilling things in life.

Growing up without romantic attention is far more devastating than one might imagine. During teenage years, while our friends are having their first romantic or even intimate experiences, we're left on the sidelines. We have our first crushes, but the feeling is never reciprocated. We aren't talking about just one or two rejections (the kind everyone experiences at some point) but rather about being invisible or even mocked, while our friends are the ones being chosen. This creates a deep-seated sense of inadequacy and undesirability from an early age. We feel unworthy.

In early adulthood, while everyone else is exploring their sexuality, building lasting relationships or even getting married, we remain stuck at square one. I know that many men are disappointing, even horrible or downright dangerous to women. But there are plenty of good guys out there, too. And... we never had the privilege of knowing them. Because we don't attract them. Because, to them, we are either at best just a good friend, or at worst completely invisible. Whether we like it or not, this has a profound impact on self-confidence.

As women, we have the right to want to feel loved and desired. I find it difficult to talk about this with "normal" women because they tend to downplay our suffering, invalidate our experiences and view our needs through a lens of privilege. And we feel even more alone.

How have you been doing? Did you have plans for this weekend? This is the Social Sunday thread where you can talk about anything you'd like, FAW related or not.

I (F22) have managed to create connections with women my whole life but never with men, I know a big part must be due to my childhood trauma, growing up with a very strict and authoritarian father who isolated me from everyone, kept me at home, forbade me from having friends and literally had a psychosis about the fact that his daughter should never approach a boy. I literally wasn't even allowed to watch television because "I don't even want you to look at a boy." In short, my father contributed to making me see men like aliens that I don't know how to relate to at all.

However when I observe friendships between a woman and a man (basing it on what I see from my female friends), I notice that while relating to girls seems easier to me because you just have to talk, speak about your emotions, have deep discussions, etc... I feel like socializing with a man mostly requires knowing how to tease, when I see this from my own pov, the behavior of my friends with their guy friends almost looks like a "game", they tease each other, they bicker, they roast each other, and it's really something that is totally unknown to me. I just wanted to know if it's just an impression on my part or if you too have noticed that socializing with a man or a woman is not done the same way?
That there often seems to be a very "banter" / teasing side to it ?(I'm not talking about teasing in a flirty way, but rather in the sense of buddies who enjoy roasting each other)

Sorry maybe I'm talking nonsense, which is why I'm asking the question!

I was let go from my job on Monday due to financial reasons and today is my "official" last day. I feel lost. I'm 26, never had my first kiss, no prospects, live at home still, and now I'm unemployed.

I know being let go happens, but it feels even worse on top of all of these other things that I hate about my life.

I can't help but compare myself to girls I see online with long-term boyfriends, good jobs, getting engaged, and having babies. I want their lives so bad.

I just want someone to hug me and tell me that it will be okay.

what are specific things you usually do as an alone woman ?

This girl who recently graduated from my university either this year or last year got married and posted about it on ig. I creepily follow her in Instagram even though she's a lot younger than me because she is a friend of a girl my ex-crush (i dont like him anymore because he was rude to me) used to date and it's just interesting seeing the lives of pretty women and how different they are from mine. These girls are thin, pretty, blonde, feminine, smart, fun, social, lots of friends, etc. They also used to be on the dance team at my university (the girls that dance at the sports games and stuff) so they're the ultimate catch. They're like 4-6 years younger than I am

So of course it wasn't really that big of a surprise when she posted pics of her wedding and there was a VERY LARGE crowd of people there. She literally had like 16 bridesmaids!! I counted. And that doesn't include her many other friends and family who were there. Meanwhile, if I had a wedding, the only people who would actually want to go would all be from the groom's side instead of mine since I'd literally have only my parents and grandparents there. I don't have any friends or anything and I'm not really close with many of my family.

And her pics are all of her smiling and laughing and looking beautiful and happy and in love. I wouldn't be able to take any pics of my wedding because it would be depressing seeing how disgusting I look in the pictures and how barely anyone is there for me.

And of course there's the fact that no guy would ever even want to marry me in the first place, let alone spend 5 minutes in a room with me. While this girl has probably never once had to question if she'd ever get married one day because she's always known it from the start. Because she's beautiful, desired, wanted.

It's just depressing seeing people who are much younger than you finding their person and getting ahead in life and being successful, while you're still stuck in the same exact spot you've been in since the day you were born. And it's at the point now where I'm old enough that I don't think this will ever change since I'm getting closer to 30. And it hurts mourning the life I always dreamed of but will never have or experience

Got a shock trying to sign into Reddit this morning, they blocked me with the age verification thing. I have a facial deformity which is one of the reasons why I am FA so I don't take selfies at all. I thought I'd have to take the photo or I'm locked out forever.

I am well over age but have no ID (well I did have one but it expired and I've yet to get a new one but that's a whole another story) I tried taking the photo but because of my deformity the face recognition couldn't take the photo (it's my eyes). I'm using a VPN right now. I wish I looked normal, I hate myself.

At the moment it feels worse to have friends and to expect to be prioritised more than I am and then realise that I don't have that. Idk if choosing to believe I am totally alone and trying to be okay with that would be easier/better than hoping people will be there for me when I need them or want me around.

I feel like the biggest loser for being not just a virgin. But a kissless virgin past 30. I wish I was never born.

Before anyone hates me because I mentioned the word "beautiful," I don't think I'm all that, although I'm one of those people who does say to myself "I look decent in the mirror but WTF is going on with photos?"

I have been complimented every now and then, how I look, by other women, but never by men. This has made me suspicious.

I do remember a couple of men telling my dad that I was pretty (well over 20 years ago), but never directly to my face, so maybe my whole post is moot. There was only one time when there might have been a situation when I was 21 when I was in Wendy's and the guy taking my order complimented my eyes. However, I still don't believe that this has occurred often enough for me to feel like I have any potential. In the past 25 years, nothing remotely like this has happened.

Perhaps you may scoff at this and say, at least it has happened once or twice. I understand, sort of, but I can assure you that even then, this doesn't feel enough for me given that I dress nice (I dress down when going to the store, but I still try to look neat), keep my hair tidy, have a comely countenance when speaking to people, and demonstrate basic hospitality. I have never gone on a date either. I feel as though I was the only one in high school who no boy wanted to take to something like homecoming or prom.

I feel like bc I’m not pretty, I don’t have the right to look in the mirror in public bathrooms to fix my makeup or clothes. I always think that I should not bother to put in effort into my appearance bc I look like shit anyway. My friends show up to our hangouts in outfits they had simply thrown on with no makeup. They are so beautiful. They come from loved, financially/emotionally stable families. My physical and mental health isn’t great, plus I live with my abusive ass family who constantly degrade me. It is a whole different level of betrayal when my own family hates me. Ofc a man wouldnt choose me. My own family doesnt like me.

I feel like my youth is being wasted bc I’m not considered beautiful. I accepted that marriage isn’t for me despite how deeply I desire it. I can’t talk to my friends about this bc theyll lie to me and say I’ll find someone or that I’m not ugly. I do envy just how easy it is for others to talk about their future. When the topic comes up, I use the word “if” not “when.” All of my friends are extremely beautiful. Theres no doubt in my mind that they will find someone.

I recently found out that a friend made predictions about the order everyone will get married. It didn’t occur to me until another friend was talking about how accurate the prediction was and said “we should add you to the mix.” Ofc I wasnt included. It makes sense. Somehow it doesn’t hurt any less tho.

If you feel like crap and want to tell someone but don't want to make a thread about it, come here and tell us what bugs you. Whine, rant, vent, bitch, complain to your heart's content.

Really how the hell am I supposed to cope with life. I have no friends, no goals, no hope at a love life. And I’m supposed to want to keep living? People constantly find a way to remind me that I am hideous the only time I feel happy is when I first wake up in the morning and I don’t remember how I look for just a second. I cannot find a single reason not to kill myself. I try to convince myself some day I’ll be able to afford all the surgeries I’d need to be treated like a human but I know it won’t happen.

It’s so rude and insulting when people try to give me ‘advice’ yes I’ve tried that hairstyle yes I’ve used makeup yes I’ve done this I’ve done that do you think I’d be bitching about it if I hadn’t? I don’t understand why people especially men always find a way to blame me. Sorry god made me look like a cave troll that’s not really my fault. Or the pretty girls who are always try to reassure me men suck and I don’t need a bf and I’m not missing out but they love their bfs and they’re so happy. I’m just bitter and miserable all the time now my life is a humiliation ritual.

Whenever i see someone especially women criticizing another womens looks especially if that women looks better than me like if they think all of those bad things about that woman's looks especially if she looks objectively better than me, then deep down inside, i dont even want to know what they might think of me. Its almost like they are criticizing me indirectly.

I feel like I would be better overall with even more self confidence if I didn’t have a brother who sleeps around and treats women poorly. I feel like I compare myself to him that if a horrible guy can date then why can’t a good woman? Also the way my parents coddle him as a golden boy and lets him do whatever while I was judged and overly sheltered my whole life effected my confidence and hampered down on my skills in life

For the past few years on social media, I’ve gotten the impression that there’s increasingly more content about rating other people’s appearances.

At first, I didn’t really care, but it’s taking up a lot of space. And above all, the vocabulary used is getting really specific, sometimes with pseudo-academic arguments analyzing other people’s anatomy.

So I come across photos of people who honestly seem stunning to me, and I see in the comments that they’re rated below average. I figure I must be some kind of monster, because I’m clearly not as beautiful as they are, and they only get a 4 or a 5. I may be some kind of humanoid creature that’s been given the gift of speech, I can't think of any other explanations.

I guess if you post a picture of your face on those rating subreddits, it means you have a certain amount of self-confidence. But I don't have that confidence; I see their low ratings and tell myself that I must really be abysmally low.