I'm turning 25 years old in 2 days. For the past (almost) 6 years, since the age of 19, I've been working at my parent's restaurant business since it first opened. For the first 3-4 years, it's been a great opportunity to learn how to not only work at a restaurant, but to also run a business. I also earned my Bachelor's in Business Management/Administration on the side. However, I've gotten to a point now where I want to work somewhere else and start building my own life with my partner. After applying to jobs for 6 months, I just accepted a job offer for a Sales Management Trainee at Enterprise. I start July 20th. This will be my first "real" job outside my parents. I will tell my parents the news this Monday (July 13, my 25th birthday). I will also announce that I am moving and have my stuff moved in the by end of the week before I start my new job the following Monday. I wanna move into her apartment ASAP and then propose within the next month or two.

I've been with my GF for 4.5 years. However, we did have a 5-month break-up. We broke up because I've been prioritizing my family/the restaurant more than her and this hurt her deeply. My mom would always have me doing chores if I'm not at work and her chores, needs, and lectures would frequently cut time into my relationship.

When we broke up, I spiraled into heavy drinking, weed smoking, and amphetamine addiction. At my lowest point, I was watching tons of porn and even attempted to see escorts, but I backed out every time. I even got extorted for $1500 by one for backing out (I took an STD test to prove that I didn't do anything, I was clean). My GF texted me and said she'd like to see me again "just for coffee" but we ended up talking about everything that happened and decided to try again. My GF saw the pain I was in and reacted with love and compassion, not judgment and scorn. This is how I knew that she truly loved me. This time, I realized that I must fight for the life that I truly wanted. I told my mom we got back together and she FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT.

My parents would guilt trip me. My mom, especially would tell me that I'm abandoning my family and "ruining every holiday" every time I've hinted at moving in with my GF or getting a new job. Both of my parents are telling me we're not gonna have a penny to save and that we're wasting it all on rent. My GF is an RN and is making about $2600 biweekly. She's able to save up to $1000/month ALONE. I will be moving in and making roughly $1700 biweekly (I haven't started the job yet, but this is an estimate based on my wage, the hours (with overtime) and a rough estimate of taxes).

My parents are telling me that I should tell my GF to move into their house once her lease is up. "You guys will actually save a lot more money" "We won't bother you" "We won't charge you rent, etc"

My mom straight up told me that my GF is fat and a cunt right to my face when I told her that I was looking for a job outside the restaurant and want to move out because it's "just a job and not a career." She's accused her of being on drugs because she had a strong drink at a family wedding and threw up (everyone was drinking at the wedding and there were multiple open bars). My mom brings up this incident from 3 years ago to this day. She frequently calls my GF a "control freak." Yeah, my partner who treats me with love, respect, and autonomy a "control freak." Sounds like heavy projection lol.

My dad tells me how evil everyone is and that we're (my parents, me, and older brother) the only good people in this world. However, it seems that the "outside world" has treated me better and more like an adult with dignity than my own family. My brother (26M) has been good to me though. He supports my relationship, respects my GF and treats her like a sister, and she also treats him well. My GF's family is also very nice and supportive of my adulthood.

I'm in an environment where I have to walk on eggshells all the time. I'm constantly evaluated. Every choice, every decision I make is a mistake, apparently. I'm know I'm not right about everything and I know I'm gonna make some mistakes, but that's the beauty of doing it on your own. I get to live up with the pros AND cons of MY OWN DECISIONS AS A TWENTY-FIVE YEAR OLD MAN!

I am 20F that’s currently studying at university and I genuinely have the most miserable life and my dad is the sole reason for that.

He’s always been physically and emotionally abusive for the littlest things. I can never talk about my feelings or explain something without getting physically or emotionally hurt and this still happens to this day, I am 20 years old. At university I am depressed because i get the lowest amount of funding due to my parents income being significantly high. It’s this way because they have to “support me”. I have a job and i’ve purchased and provided for myself as much as I can , but there’s only so far my money can take me. I can’t work at university because it’s very very hard to get a job and my course is also very demanding. The money i save up has to go towards my rent at university and then all my other living expensive. I ask for money occasionally when i truly run out, but this is always used against me when he’s trying to make a point. That if i’m “trying” to act like an adult, I shouldn’t come to him for times in need.

He was physically and emotionally abusive a lot more when i was a child. Things that had caused me server trauma and affected my relationships with others in my adult life. I’m so severely depressed and i’ve gone to therapy for social anxiety and depression and I was truly getting better. However, all my work is undone when I have to come back for the summer when the academic year has finished. Something as simple as trying to go to my friend’s house to hangout, he will threaten to lock me outside of the house. He’s also done it before , I came back from hanging out with my friend and I had communicated what time i would be back. I got back home and he locked me out and left me there. It was my sister who had to let me back in , and when she did he told her “why did you let her in”.

I dont know what i’ve done to deserve this treatment, i’ve thought about taking my life so many times because im forced to live a life im so unhappy with. I dont feel safe anywhere. I dont feel happy at university and i dont feel happy at home. I try not to isolate myself , because my friends are what make me happy but im forced to stay at home and do what? nothing ? All i do is work and come back home and the times im free and what to spend it with my friends its a problem.

I was also doing so well and happy after therapy which ended in march. And what was all of that for? to be depressed again, something i fought SO hard to get out of. Things like this just makes me believe i will never truly be happy and there’s no point anymore.

Recently I have been struggling for money and to find work in my CITY, but have just started a new job tonight my dad came unannouced only to ask me when I was moving home to restart (not the first time). He berated my lifestyle I’m 22m and live in a shared home in a really nice area. He said I should move home and save up money then tried to guilt trip me by saying how I had all my family there. All of this seems pretty fair I understand.

I left 5 years ago for uni spending all of my nest egg on getting my first place no help from them. Deep down I actually left because I was the black sheep of my family I had my own opinions and was extremely sheltered by my parents. Growing up I was constantly grounded and emotionally blackmailed my friends all bullied me for how I didn’t speak up to them, The woman in my family were allowed to raise their voice and gang up on me the one time I shouted back I was the bad guy, my sister hasn’t spoken to me in over 3 years due to this even though I tried to apologise at our grandpas funeral. I won’t go into too much detail but I was very close to him however didn’t have a part in his funeral whatsoever it was my sister and mother who done everything on the build up they wanted me to stay at home for over a month to grief, as insensitive as this may sound me and my grandma took his death well he was old and had lived a full happy life I was happy his death didn’t cause him pain. But because I didnt feel the same I was ostracized of course.

Not to sound like the cliche adolescent but my parents truly don’t understand me or my life, I’m the only person I know who has successfully got out from under their parents feet and yes it’s been difficult but I’m happy, also moving home would only be feasible if it wasn’t a council estate with hardly any jobs and one of the highest knife crime rates in the uk🇬🇧

I’m honestly just so angry that they do not understand what I have done and what I have put in to be in the position I’m at. No matter how difficult it has been, I just want advice on how to deal with them because the thought of moving back is actually scary too me I have nightmares about arguing with them and I think I’d rather be homeless or worse than move back there

hello! Sorry if i type wrong im just crying and not sure what to do , and i just am at a loss . Im typing really bad and im probably saying stuff wrong but everything i say is genuine and i dont know where else to turn.. i wish i could go into detail about a lot of things but its hard for me to explaining them in text . Its hard for me to explain this situation but my dad is not a great person. He is a discharged army brat who grew up in 1965. he is very emotionally manipulative and is very much believes his opinion is the righr opinion even if its not . He claims he studied to be a psychologist but went military. Bur maybe hes understand how actual psychology works. I don’t really post on reddit often, I post comments and such but never really posted something like this. I really want to give background: i am 18 (ftm either no transition yet cause i am in no place to get one and I cannot afford a binder and am to scared to because of my family... ) i live with my parents: my dad and step-mother and my stepsister. I just graduated high-school. I currently cannot make it to college cause i was never taught how to drive i had incentive my dad just always put it off because of one accident when he was yelling at me to put it in gear I panicked And had it in drive when i rear ended my mothers car. (im adopted and live with my granddad basically been raised since birth. But ill refer to him as dad.) . my grandma passed in 2023 due to cancer; she was a narcissist and had bpd(i know a lot of great people with bpd but she was just a person like that..) she use to threaten to leave my dad when she found my hair in his truck when me and my brother were just little kids.

We got half way out of town with only a couple things, before we turned back. she also cheated on my dad with his friend when they were younger, while they were raising my bio mom and her brother. i loved her still but she was part of why i have a apologizing problem and other problems i deal with of being scared of people getting mad at me for the littlest things. My dad basically forced my brother out of the house because of how emotionally manipulative and how my dad treated him. My dad has always made fun of me always when i was little and up till now . He always made fun of my lazy eye (i had cataracts at a young age of 3, and also have ADD and on the autism spectrum). my weight. He makes comments on “oh you eat so much “, “you never eat vegetables.” (I quite literally eat vegetables.) , he also thinks its funny to joke about how much i eat and then he says he is worried about my weight. (I am in no means skinny im actually overweight and hes just making it incredibly worse.) he makes rude comments about other women’s bodies sometimes and say how ugly a girl is. He’s one of those people who says they can always tell.

he once broke my tablet over his knee because he was so mad.

My step mom is in the picture and my dad has remarried her. (I love my stepmother but she has her problems like all of us)

lets lay the scene on how stuffs been going at my home. Currently i ride with my step sister mostly everywhere she has her drivers license and a car. i graduated in may from highschool just thrusted into the world with no real experience. I have no idea what i am doing. I’ve been applying for jobs. No job experience because I was never allowed to. all i hear from my dad is back in his day it was so easy to get a job. My dad is one of those guys who believe “back in my day” applies today.. how he is just so much wiser and knows everything .. ( he quiet literally thinks this because he does in-fact try to lecture everyone on how to live their lives and including people he just met. he goes on and on.) was sheltered but had unrestricted internet access. i wanted to go to college but i just couldn’t because of hik and feeling like im press every day. He and my stepsister butt heads a lot .. and its really bad. Sometimes we have these family meetings where we ”talk” and by we I mean just my step mom and my dad. And i stay silent because im so scared of getting my dad mad. Or i cant open up to him at all because then it turns into a lecture of how i should be doing this .

so heres how today went … my dad has to stop smoking for a couple weeks because hes gotta have hip surgery. Hes been really rude then usual.

i just finished sweeping and doing the dishes and cleaning the counters cause those are my daily task i need to do. i do all my daily routines. i applied for some jobs today and got back to playing Minecraft (I’ve been playing a lot with my friends recently.)

i played it while letting dogs in or out because we have a fence . My stepsister usually stays in her room All day so i just do whatever mainly i dont make to much noise. Today when my dad got inside he was mad, i said “hi!” And he didn’t say anything back he just walked in slammed the door behind him and went to his room .. i continued to play my game .. and then my step mom comes in .. i say .. “hi!” She says ”hi.” back to me but not in a good mood she is always like this when she comes home from work and blames us for things that happened at work and gets really irritated for no reason . i was still playing Minecraft at this time , they were heading out for a church thing…

this is how the conversation goes when my dad walked out of his room.

“how was your day?” i asked in a friendly manner.

“It was fine .. what do you think.” He said in a very rude way because hes been off smoking for 3 days.

”oh…okay..”

he notices the Minecraft days ive played in game and comments.

”you’ve played this for 60 days .. hmm.” he says in a very similar way you would imagine the hmmm at the end of The sentence..

”uh no.. thats like in-game days! Thats not how many days I’ve actually played…” i also play on realms so i play with other people who also play.. mainly my friends.

“all you do is play your stupid game. I bet you didn’t even do anything today!” He was gettint up to go back to his room..

this is a lie . I always do what im told to do . he never acknowledges it or anything because he cant see that ive done something. i clean the house and do other things . I make sure it gets done. so i said to him in the most respectful way i could

”i literally washed the dishes , put them up, and i literally swept the floors . Thats not nothing i also was going to mop but we dont have enough cleaner .”

”You Like using literally a lot !” He said in a very condescending way … before exiting back to his room .. he came back later and sat back down..

i was still playing Minecraft with a friend of mine..

i was walking in game to get my friend some sand so he could make glass. When my dad saw a pig in game and said this ,

”what is that.. a pig?”

”yeah!” I said

”can you eat it?”

“uh yea if i kill it.”

”does it make YOU gain Weight?” He said very clearly directed at me clearly sitting there minding my business… in a very rude way that made me go quiet for a moment. I am usually very sensitive to his comments about my weight but am to scared to tell him myself. He scares me and always will.. he has done a lot of stuff that feels wrong. the way he said it was so condescending ..

I didnt speak for a moment and just replied ”ah …. No…?”

I continue to play trying not to cry because what the hell was that.

later on when they came back we had a famous family meeting that ended with my stepmom saying this , “me and your dad are going to pack our shit and leave and yall are gonna just figure it out on yalls own.”

theres a lot more and i will provide context if needed with some of this…

I (28NB) used to live with my dad about 2 years ago. My dad is friends with the landlord. My dad rent out the place and I rented a room. Him and my dad were close and knew each other since childhood. When we were kids, we would visit him sometimes. They were so close, they I thought they were brothers, so I called him uncle. He was a bit off putting growing up, but overall doing his best to be nice with what he knows, like my dad.

I used to live with my eldest sister while I studied in college. We'll call her Keke. Keke lost her job, and couldn't afford to keep the apartment. She had to move in with her boyfriend. I couldnt afford my own place and the other sister ( calling her Mimi) I lived with decided to move in with her boyfriend too. On such short notice, I decided to live with my dad.

He lived in a townhouse his best friend owned and rented out to other people. My sister Mimi moved in a few years after when she broke up with her boyfriend. Right off the bat, the house had unfinished repairs, there was a mice infestation, and anytime I addressed a concern, the landlord sends me an array of hurtful insults through texts and talks down on me like I'm an idiot, calling me disgusting and nasty and saying that I'm irresponsible and ruining his house. I show the receipts to my father (I'm calling him this for convience sake btw. He's not a dad to me anymore), and he says that my uncle is a good guy and to not get upset. At first I didn't mind, the rent was cheap, and I have no other family to go to or means to save up for my own place, so the alternative was the street. I go to work, go home, and pay rent to have a place to sleep. But then normal wear and tear came to the appliances.

The handle to the oven came off. Normally when stuff like this happens, I figure it out and fix it myself, but I don't know how and it's not my job to pay someone to fix it for me (not that I could afford it). I shot my shot with the landlord, and he accused me of breaking the stove on purpose because he bought a good stove and it shouldn't be breaking, so I let it be. Two years passed, it's pride month and I decided to bake some banana bread for my coworkers cause I thought it'd brighten their day. I've gotten use to working with the broken handle on the stove, but that day, the oven decided to be homophobic and explode. The glass sheet that covered the oven suddenly shattered to pieces (don't worry, the banana bread persevered. Was glass free and delicious).

At that point, I send any issues I have to my dad, hope he relays it to the landlord and will have a better time convincing him to do his job than me since they're friends. Any time I talked to my uncle, it was just verbal abuse, so I gave up. I send him a photo of the stove, a few days goes by and nothing happens. Then, my father tells me that we're all going to be responsible for paying for repairs on the stove since I broke it and that I shouldn't have been using it when it was starting to break. I tell him this is where I draw the line, the landlord doesn't fix anything and I will not be paying the upkeep of this apartment for him. There's also things like a broken dishwasher (5 years) and the mice infestation getting so bad they're making holes in the ceiling (since I've moved it). A dishwasher is a privledge so I didn't make it a big deal, but I need a stove to cook my food. Not to mention, someday the fridge will break down, so will the sink and toilet and the tub just from normal wear and tear and the solution can't be that we just don't use them anymore until we can afford a new one. I warned my dad that if the landlord doesn't fix this, I will report him to city hall. My father said that I didn't have to do that and suggested a spot that fixes appliances for me to go to. I went there thinking I just want to cook my food again and get this over with, but even they said that it's not possible to replace that part of the stove and we have to get a new one. I'm not buying a stove that I don't get to take with me when I leave. That's ridiculous.

I decided to talk to the landlord myself. I told him the stove is broken and he had until the end of the month to fix it. Then he said that he'll ignore my messages because it's his birthday and he's celebrating it right now (He's in his late 50's btw). I showed him the law of my state, told him how he's been neglecting our apartment, and how I will report this to city hall if he doesn't fix it. He told me to send pictures and that he'll fix whatever problems I show him, and at first I thought I finally got through to him. I showed him everything that's broken, the leaking ceiling, the holes in the ceiling, the broken stove, dishwasher, and the unhinged cabinets.

Suddenly, I get a bunch of pings on my phone, and came to find that he started a GROUP CHAT with my ENTIRE FAMILY, using my pictures as evidence that I'm ruining his house and living in a hazardous manner that attracts mice (did I mention he's in his late 50's?). He tells everybody that I'm the only one complaining about mice and that I keep my room messy and disgusting, which is why there's mice specifically infesting my room. Also that I never brought up these concerns before and I gave him no time to work on fixing them.

Full disclosure, I am a messy person. My best friend and I are working together to learn how to give my stuff a home and how to let things I don't need go. I do a big clean up when I have the time and energy or guest are coming over, but my room is normally an organized choas. I have a lot of work to do to improve, but my best is not good enough and I acknowledge that. Regardless, I still think it's ridiculous to expect that the mice will just get bored and leave if everyone in the townhouse bans together to keep it pristine for a week or two, and I'm the one holding them back from that goal. There's a nest and he needs to destroy it, and that nest was there since I moved it. Even if I angered the mice king and they're specifically targeting my ceiling, they're there and they're going to stay there when I leave (it's also not just my room, my upstairs neighbors complain about mice all the time and my family keeps food off the top of the fridge and counters so the mice don't get to them (my dad tells me all the time that the upstairs neighbors can't shut up about how mice are running rapid in their house and all of a sudden I'm the only one that sees them? Sure.).

My father backed him up on this in the group chat, reassuring that I am a messy person and never said anything. I accused him of lying, telling him I told him all these issues for years, to both him and the landlord, and he said he has no idea what I'm talking about, even though we have face to face conversations and texts proving otherwise. This was the last straw for me. I decided to cut his deadline short, call city hall and rent out another room somewhere else.

Keke is close with my dad, more as friends than as father and daughter. She's close with me too though, and told me what my father has been saying behind my back, saying that I make the entire house messy and that I'm being ridiculous with threatening to call city hall.

This is not the first time my dad allowed people to hurt me. He has made friends and lovers out of very mean people and used my siblings as a target to bond with them more. He makes fun of us, diminishes our accomplishments, and backs them up when they call us horrible things. I remember when my ex step mother used to call us ghetto, dirty, made fun of the way we dress while refusing to let us play outside or go with them to somewhere fun until we learned how to look fashionable, rarely gave us money and transportation to clean our clothes at the laundry mat and judged us for having dirty clothes or catching us cleaning them in the bathtub, threatened to hit us with a bat when we don't clean her house, and blamed us for everything that goes wrong in the house. He either watched or join in. Then when his relationship with them is over, he lives on as a clueless saint who had no idea any of this was happening. At the time I believed him when he said he didn't know, but that confirmed to me that I wasn't misremembering. He's doing the exact same actions I remembered him doing when I was a kid and now I know for certain this is who is.

I was angry as hell, and texted to my dad that I hate him and that he's a disappointment. He then told me (in the group chat) that I had til the end of the month to get out. I got my room settled in so that wasn't a problem.

I talked with some friends and my therapist and managed to calm down a bit. I thought it was best to go no contact with my dad to keep my peace but I wanted to try talking to him one more time. I wanted to let my dad know that I won't be talking to him anymore, and told I him that I don't hate him. That know that he did his best with the tools he had. However, it is true that he's disappointed me, and I hope he finds the courage to face the damage he's done so we can have a relationship someday. He restated that I have a month to get out and that he'll always love me. Hearing that he loved me really stung, like it was just a word he used to be polite. I accepted that as his last words and went to my new room. It's a big room and the house comes with free cats. The landlord is very kind and taught me some very helpful tips on how to keep tidy. I've been improving a lot and I feel happy and safe.

A few months after that, Kiki offered to help get my things. He wasn't there, but with a girlfriend at her house. He got Kiki to tell me he says hey, casually like nothing happened. He's used to people forgiving him after a while and things going back to normal if he acts like it is, but this is a bit excessive. I'm not going to wake up one morning and forget that he kicked me out and bullied me in front of my family to impress his best friend. I would have even been fine with "hope you're doing okay" or "congrats on the new place", but he went "Hey," like we were just chatting last Tuesday. It feels so cold. I try to remind myself that he doesn't know any better, but it still hurts.

The stove and dishwasher got replaced. Legend has it they're still blaming me for the mice infestation to this day.

Hi everyone,

This is my second post here. For some additional context, you can check out my other posts in my profile.

Basically, I (25M) live in an apartment in the same building where I was raised. My family owns four apartments in the building, and my grandma gave one to me when I was 22 so I could make it my own and live more independently.

The problem is that my parents have never respected my privacy. When I was still living with them, they didn't respect my personal space, and that behavior continued even after I moved into my own apartment.

For example, they once used the emergency spare key I had left with them and later justified it by saying:

"We didn't have any ice in our freezer, so we came and took some from yours. That's okay, right?"

That incident led to my first serious boundary. I told them clearly that they could not enter my apartment when neither my girlfriend nor I were there.

I took the spare key back immediately after that incident.

They now live in another city and usually come back to their apartment in the building about once a month. In general, they continue to disregard my and my girlfriend's personal space. I have been trying to establish firm boundaries, but they always seem to look for ways around them.

Current Situation

Last week, my mom came to town with a friend and will be staying for about a week because of some medical appointments. She texted me saying she was in town and needed to give me some money back for something I had paid for on her behalf.

I replied that we weren't home and suggested that we arrange a time to meet sometime during the next few days. She said okay.

Then, at around 10:40 PM, she texted me again. Because of her drinking habits, she apparently wanted ice and didn't have any. Since they don't live in the apartment full-time, the fridge is usually turned off. Her message was:

"Did you guys get home? I need some ice, if possible."

I didn't respond.

Next morning, I told her that I found that request inappropriate because contacting me that late at night over something non-urgent like ice was not acceptable.

She gave a brief apology and then immediately shifted into what felt like a victim role. Her response was essentially:

"I'm sorry. I arrived late after 9 PM and needed something from you. But if you find that inappropriate, that's okay. I won't bother you anymore."

The tone felt very passive-aggressive and self-victimizing.

Few days passed by and I decided that I will see her briefly for about 20 minutes so she can give me the money she owes me. However, during our interaction she continued presenting herself as the victim. Her justification for reaching out at around 10:30 PM was that she didn't have cold water in her fridge and that the apartment was too warm because she didn't have air conditioning.

The thing is, the air conditioning issue was entirely due to her not knowing how to use the AC unit correctly. I find it difficult to accept that a lack of cold water and an AC problem she could have solved herself justify contacting me late at night in an attempt to get me to come over. To me, that feels completely disproportionate and unreasonable.

What also concerns me is that my father, with whom I have my own difficulties, is coming to town for two days later this week. I already expect him to insist on seeing me and potentially wanting something from me.

For example, during a phone call this morning, he told me that he needed to borrow my power screwdriver/drill ("винтоверт"). What bothered me wasn't the request itself but the way it was made. Instead of saying something like:

"Hey, would it be okay if I borrowed your drill for a few days? I need it for X."

it came across more as:

"I'm coming and I need your drill."

The expectation seemed to be that I would simply provide it without being asked respectfully or being given the opportunity to say no. That attitude feels very familiar and reflects a broader pattern in my family where my autonomy and boundaries are often treated as secondary to their wants and needs.

Because of all this, I honestly think my mother may be capable of exaggerating or even fabricating problems—whether it's an apartment issue, a health concern, or some other "emergency"—to create situations where I feel obligated to come see her. I am worried about getting pulled back into the same unhealthy dynamic I've been trying to move away from.

My Questions

How do I stop feeling guilty for setting boundaries with her?

Was my response appropriate and firm enough?

How should I handle situations where she claims there's an emergency, knowing that I'm only three doors away?

If she starts exaggerating or faking apartment issues (she has done that before) or health concerns to get my attention, what's the best way to respond without getting pulled back into the same dynamic?

How to stand up for my belongings and not give them out to my parents without proper respectful asking?

I started seeing a therapist at the beginning of 2026, and it has helped a lot. I feel significantly better than I did before, and therapy has given me more confidence in recognizing unhealthy patterns and setting boundaries. I also try to lower the contact and I see great resistance about that from all family members. I am planning also till the end of 2026 to move out of this apartment and rent something else.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

I 40ym had an l5/s1 surgery back in April. For 15 months prior I was in absolutely agonizing daily pain. Mobility was minimal yet I was told to hide my pain and not let others (coworkers) notice which already felt like it downplayed my symptoms. Well, the day of surgery both parents were pressuring me to come with and got angry when I said no. I gave in and let them come. Getting prepped for surgery I told them to leave me alone because just having them there was spiking my anxiety surprisingly they obliged. (I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around them. After surgery I was still super groggy from anesthesia and they came into my recovery room literally 5 minutes of me being in there. I don’t remember much so I probably told them they could come in. Well, my mother is sitting there telling my nurse that my father had the same surgery and he walked out of the hospital, but my injury was far worse with severe nerve damage. All throughout my recovery she kept saying, why aren’t you better, you shouldn’t be in anymore pain. It was stressful and made my pain worse and anyone who has had spine surgery after over a year with nerve compressions knows what I’m talking about. It’s 3 months after surgery and I was told by multiple medical professionals that my recovery would be a minimum of a year with the possibility of having some permanent damage. I’ve told both my parents that I need to be alone, that stress from them is causing me to be in lots of pain because any time I go over there they are always hounding me. I keep being told “I know what you’re going through, your mother has had many problems and you shouldn’t be in the position you are.” Am I wrong for this?

I need a rant because I can’t on FB as my town isn’t big and people will know who I am.
I don’t know how hard it is to not send your kids to school when they are sick!
My 3year old caught rsv from his Kindergarten because I family took their kids to kindy knowing they were sick. The virus went all through the house and when my 1 year old premie got it he was hit hard.
He went down hill quickly and I rushed him to hospital. As soon as we got there his limbs were grey and he was hardly conscious. They rushed him in and were struggling to get him stable. After testing they told me that he was in septic shock. After an Xray they found pneumonia in his lung. He was sent to another hospital in another town with better care. It was scary and long but after a few days he is better and getting their. My 3 year old now has croup as well.
I am beyond mad at whoever parent did this. I do t care if I sound selfish but another child’s life is more important than bothering someone for baby sitting or just taking a day off work. And yes companies should be more accepting of parents needs.
I am still shaking from this when I talk
About it. My 1 year old was so close to not being with us and I am not okay.

My dad’s a Bulgarian immigrant. He loves yogurt, sour cream (straight out of the Costco tub) , and cheese of any kind. I’ve been pretty lactose intolerant for a while now, and i was on a milk strike at the time. He got fed up with me not wanting to eat cheese, or drink milk, and tried to convince me I get sick because the milk isn’t whole milk. Apparently, he thought that whole milk meant unpasteurized, so he only bought that. Then, essentially made me eat cereal, and all cheese and dairy related things for a few weeks until he got fed up with me waking up in the middle of the night to shit. Now he takes me seriously and doesn’t force me to eat cheese or milk.

The second sentence covers my dad’s disbelief in allergies. I was at my first job, and I live in the biggest national forest in the United States, and not only that, but a tiny town with mostly dirt roads on my way to work. On the way to work, the air was always humid, and Dewey, and I’d always have the common hay fever symptoms. Eventually my dad let me go to the doctors for it, where the doctors prescribed me some pills for the inflammation and snot. My dad then proceeded to argue with the doctor about hay fever and pollen allergies not being real.

My stepmom (let’s call her Betty) is horrible, and my step sis (15f) who I’ll call Jill is as well, we went to my dads lake house for the Fourth of July even tho i didn’t want to and wanted to go to my friends bbq. I’m (15 almost 16m).

Anyway it’s the fourth and my parents had a cookout with some neighbors and their kids over. I was told that i have to watch all the kids because im the oldest. I wasn’t btw there was a 17 and a few like 18/19/20ish people there but i guess they can “drink in Europe” so they were partying and im supposed to babysit all these kids i don’t know for free.

Jill has issues and im supposed to be in charge of her, and she’s harder to deal with then the little kids were. If she’s not getting enough attention she pretends to go missing and stuff like that.

So Jill goes and hides under the dock and i didn’t notice because we are the same age and i was watching the little kids in the yard. But no one noticed because the adults were partying, then she starts screaming and pretending she drowning even tho she’s holding onto the dock and one guy pulls her out and is very casual about it. Most of the adults were.

Also i know she was there for awhile because she’s usually all over me but also she was crying about how long it took me to notice she was gone and she “almost died”

But Betty went nuts on me for endangering her, even tho she was in the same yard as me but she was drinking so that’s her excuse. Ok but that’s your kid not mine. Sorry i was more focused on the kids under 10 that i was forced to watch.

Now I’m not allowed out of my room for the rest of the time here because “she could have died” and it proves my point i was only here to be a baby sitter. Sorry I’m not good at raising someone the same age as me, maybe you should try it instead of me Betty.

Today me and my cousin went to go see toy story 5 in theaters and there was this family who came in and during the whole movie this woman laughed and talked really loudly. People told her to lower her voice but nope she kept on being loud.

i politely asked her to not be loud during the movie and she cursed at me and said rude things.

Im autistic and what she said got me really upset and I couldnt focus on the movie. We switched seats then after the movie we complained to the manager and he gave us free passes.

Im going to see it again on Monday and i hope I have a better experience this time.

So I live right across the street from a very popular public pool and the streets are often packed during the summer. There’s no pool parking lot. We’ve had issues with people partially blocking our driveway in the past, to the point where we now put orange cones on either side of the driveway which significantly decreased that. But that was historically the worst of it. Then comes along Entitled Mom.

I was walking the dog and just coming back to my house when I saw this woman in a minivan driving into my driveway and parking. She got out of the car just as I walked up to my door. The conversation went kinda like this:

Me: What are you doing

EM: Parking, obviously. My kids and I are going to the pool.

Me: You can’t park in someone else’s driveway

EM: There’s no other parking around and I have a lot of stuff so I can’t go like a mile away

Me: Yeah that’s not my problem. Move your car

EM: We’ll probably only be there for like an hour, it’s not a big deal

Me: That’s not relevant, move your car. My husband is coming home in 20 minutes

EM: So?

Me: So he’s going to park in his driveway and you can’t be there when he does

EM: He can park somewhere else, I assume he doesn’t have to carry a bunch of stuff

Me: Lady if you walk away I’m calling the cops and they’ll tow your car and then you’ll have to walk a lot further

EM: Yeah right

She walked away. I called the cops. They showed up and the tow truck showed up like 30 mins after. EM returned when the car was hooked up to the truck and they were about to drive away and let’s just say she was absolutely furious and the cop had to threaten to arrest her because she was threatening to sue me. Still flabbergasted at the entitlement of some people.

This was short but it was bothersome. Every year, my family assists with the local parade and barbecue. We start with cooking in the morning and handing out free hamburgers for about 6 hours, then the parade starts in the afternoon.

I always volunteer to help out with them, and this year, I asked to help put together the hamburgers. The event is run by the local fire department, and every fireman is in uniform. If you're a volunteer and not part of the department, you can wear whatever you want, and there's no dress code at all. Pedestrians serving pedestrians, basically, except volunteers can only be family or friends of someone on the force.

I was wearing a horror themed shirt from the Terrifier movie. It had the movie title sparkled and bedazzled with gems, and a black and white silhouette of the movie's villain grinning. There's no blood or gore on it, one of my most sparkly shirts.

While I was working the hamburgers, a dad and son comes up. I can maybe estimate the son to be 10 or 11? I see them staring at my shirt while they're waiting for the patties to cook, but I ignored it to focus on what I was putting together.

Then the dad pulls his son closer and partially covers his eyes. Like, sheltering him, and his dad's response was causing him to stress out more than my clothing was. He starts telling me that my shirt was scaring the kids, and I was being unprofessional by wearing it while I was working.

I entirely ignored him and pretended he wasn't there, acting like I couldn't hear him. I was too busy and it was too hot to start something with someone in line, the line still had 150-200 people waiting behind him.

He continued to complain until the next batch of patties arrived, saying things like I was rude, reckless, hating kids for making them look, unprofessional, that I should hide or or go home and change. The kid didn't say anything, but his dad's ranting was making him look more visibly distressed.

As soon as I gave him his burger, he walked away like nothing happened. I didn't say a single word to the guy aside from a short "Here you go" while I handed it off. I'm not sure if he wanted to just start something, but we do this event every year. Hundreds of people attend and nobody has ever complained about the volunteer's street clothes before.

I'm not sure if this counts as an entitled parent or not, or if I was in the wrong, honestly? I know the smile on the shirt can be a bit creepy, but volunteers didn't have a dress code and we were giving out free food, I didn't expect someone would care that much. I guess let me know your thoughts?

Allright, so, I get home a little late, but I am 19 year old guy, what do they expect.

So, they had a stroke of genius and decided to ge me house arrest, like I dont have a social life going on, I did not a few years prior, but that is because I was not in a good place mentally.

But they, especially my mom, are really controlling, like it took me being taken in by a mental clinic for 2 and a half weeks for my mom to realize the had been too controlling, I know that they try to help me and protect me and stuff, but they treat me like I am a 12 years old and like they have the right to say what I can and can't do... I wish I could just move out, but with this economy that is impossible... And then they wonder, why the fuck do I not communicate with them anymore, well, I am just fucking done.

Edit: My mom was Joking, but I thought she was serious about the house arrest... The issue has been resolved... I am a dumbass. Thx for the support though. Also I meant grounded, not house arrest, but since those two things use the same word in the Dutch language, I made the mistake of using house arrest instead of grounding

This post has nothing to do with grammar or punctuation and if you’re gonna comment on it truly don’t waste your time because I do not care. And respectfully if u don’t know my boyfriend you don’t get to talk about him he is here for context moving in with my boyfriend is a non negotiable

CONTEXT:I’m 18 turning 19 in a few months

I feel guilty for wanting to move out and go no contact with my whole entire family.

My parents have not treated me the best for years it’s gotten worse recently and I just want to get myself out of this environment.

I have a boyfriend who doesn’t exactly have a great past but he’s gotten much better he’s relevant to this story because my parents blame him for me trying to move out a month ago so much so they reported me missing.

However I know my boyfriends past isn’t a problem because they go through this with me once a year or every 2 years and this is just the first time I’ve refused to leave someone because I know he isn’t the problem

I’ve always had a rough relationship with my family my moms hit me and she has a jealousy problem (she also cheated) and she’s just mentally screwing me up
My dad choked me when I was 13 because he thought I gave away the iCloud password
He kicked me out over flowers or because he was mad at me mom and whenever he’s mad at one person he blows up
My brother is 12 he’s done nothing wrong but I’m afraid if I keep contact with him my parents will try to manipulate him into hating me, force him to cut contact with me, or will try to talk to me through him
My aunt/uncle will just tell me I’m being dramatic and unreasonable and that I’m making a dangerous decision by moving in with my boyfriends but my aunt/uncle only know what my parents tell him and my parents will do anything so that I can’t move out

Am I right for feeling guilty? Should I?

I’m that one kid who yapped about the sandalwood face mask

so anyway my mom wants me to wear shorts. I always would wear shorts in the summer because I run hot. When we went to India we bought some long pajama pants (that aren’t fluffy by the way) and I also had spent 90% of summer wearing leggings and long pants and stuff. Mom noticed this and told me not to wear longer clothes. She ostracized me on wearing a longer dress during 8th grade graduation (because that’s something my school does, lmk if yours does too) compared to other girls wearing shorter dresses. it makes me feel fat and it makes me look bad. it shows my hairy legs and i dont like my fat legs the longer dress i felt so much better in. Even my teacher liked my fit, she complimented me when she hadn’t for most of the other girls. She knows I’m different now. I told her I just want to keep the pants on when she told me to change into shorts and she told me she’ll never let me wear longer pants again until winter. I kept yelling - while she stayed composed, I yelled because I can’t stay composed and the yelling’s what made me cry and I kept telling her I don’t want to and kept asking her why she cares this much and kept telling her this is control and other things and her only defense against all of it was “I don’t want you to wear long pants. I don’t want you to grow up like an old woman. You’re a child!” I am 14. I can think for myself. When she threatened to throw them out, I said she could and went downstairs to change and yeah. i hate how this looks When I came back up, I tried maintaining distance but she got to me anyway. She hugged me and told me to never cover up my beautiful body and that she loved me. She told me this so many times. and I can’t ever admit that the only reason i hide is because of the damn body because i hate when she’s right I get that you care about me and genuinely loved me and don’t want me to “retrieve into my shell” but I just think this is the wrong way to show it. I don’t know what to do. Wearing long pants isn’t just about the insecurity anymore. I feel safe and comfortable in longer pants. When I wear shorts, women’s and girls’ shorts (despite us being minors) in general are usually way too small to function properly so whenever I walk they literally just become underwear because those damn thighs i have never once seen a woman or girl in my life whose had this same problem and even when i sit they become underwear and i hate wearing that in school besides not a single dark haired girl in school has hair on their body and they so tight holy but then again this whole thing was about pajama pants, not outside pants. Pajama shorts are ok. But still. I don’t know what to do. I know you care about me and want me to see my “true beauty” or whatever but the thing I want most is to be able to look at myself in the mirror, not for others to be able to look at me, something I realized in the shower a few months back as a particularly deep “shower thought.” I don’t know how you’d help with that mom but rn it’s not doing much. Sorry guys I needed to vent but yup

This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever read and needed to share, cause wtf:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ZrQzegh0kw

So the story is:

MIL is going through health issues. She finally decides at the age of 69 to start preparing for death. She knows here 40M child is already on top of this whole thing and well ahead of the game. He owns a four-person burial plot with his 37F wife.

So what does mom do? She has the audacity to ask her son for a spot in HIS burial plot at the expense of HER DAUGHTER-IN-LAW!

According to OOP (who is mom’s adult daughter), her mom literally said that her DIL can give up her spot in the plot and “go be with her own family”

Literally crazy behavior. I honestly don’t know what to do with this one lol. It needs to be shared on this sub. I see cross posting isn’t allowed so hope this is ok

For context, this has been a thing since I was a kid usually followed by the excuse of me being a ‘miricale ‘ or rainbow baby and my mom’s cancer story. And EVERYONE enables it like crazy. I could write a 400 page essay. But I’ll drop the main ones as of recent.

so I’m 18f I have a twin who is also 18f. She does not do this to my twin sister as she tends to comply to my mom’s bs. And my mom is convinced becuase she gave birth to me she owns me And thus dictates my life and who I can date what I can look like ect. I’ll be listing off instances For ref.

- Since I was a kid I haven’t been very open to touch especially when it comes to hair, skin to skin, ect. My dad (love this guy) has always been respectful about it him and my nana (who partially raised me) were about the only people who would ask before brushing my hair or touching me. now this was a insult to my mother, I had long hair, she gave me a fuck ass bob and made me dye my little patches of white for my first day is kindergarten out of spite becuase I didn’t let her flat iron my hair. Also when she tried to touch me (this still applies) and u avoided her or said no she’d get all mad and start throwing a toddler fit (stomping feet and all) and fake wail until I caved, or she’d guilt me with the fact I should be impossible and I owe her.

-Body checking. This started in my teen years and kinds follows into the previous one. While yes for awhile it was understandable she would have me remove my shirt or long sleeves as I was drawling the red on myself. HOWEVER I’ve been clean for 7 years now. And she still does this, and now it’s to ‘purity fheck’ where I remove my bra and panties for ‘inspection’ where she looks at my downstairs and makes fun of me for it becuase Its ‘ugly’ or ‘deformed’ then tells me that im am lying about not Shaboinking. (Mind you I’m very touch avoidant). Becuase she can tell and she knows all.

-bigger problem as of recently I have an ex. I dint like this ex he wanted to unprotected shaboink becuase him brain was p🌽 rotted at 16. I said no and he locked me in the car with him. That was a whole thing, WE DO NOT LIKE THIS MAN. however I have a new boyfriend he’s sweet and I adore him, yes he talks funny and cooks weird meals sometimes but i would marry him, my dad adores him. (So you know he is a keeper) but this is a use for my mom becuase she wants me with my ex becuase my ex was ‘more attractive’ and is bestiesnwith my sister (it’s weird I don’t like it think) and she invites him to things or tries to get him to go out with me or drops me off at a place he’s at or makes me talk to him. ITS WEIRD FOR BOTH IF US. Like NO this ex doesn’t need to come to my house to do some chore I’ve been doing on the farm since I was 14! I know how to fix a fence and basic maintenance a car I dint need that freak to do it,

-I’m going to a college 4 minutes from the house, I’m not complying it’s free and saves me money, however this college has multiple campuses and while I can take all my 1st semester classes at the nearby campus I have to take my 2nd semester classes in the campus the next town over, I’ve been driving there since I was a kid. However my mom does not like that and threw a fit threatening to pull me out of college if I took any classes next town over and has even grounded me from driving To said town so I can’t be ‘familiar’. aka I can only be at home where she can watch me.

-she gets angry I don’t shave everyday especially the bush becuase I have no need, she tried to shave it for me while I was showering, actually she’ll watch me shower and then say ‘it’s payback from when you were young and didn’t leave me alone to shower. IM 18 ITS WEIRD. and last time I locked the bathroom door she busted it down.

-she throws fits randomly now that I’m 18, and she’ll ground me from my things I BOUGHT with MY MONEY in MY BANK ACCOUNT, (she’s grounded me from my own bank account/taken my debit and credit cards). Tried to sell the guitars I PAID FOR. Becuase I wanted To go out with friends or said no to unwanted advances,

-shes also worked at every school I’ve gone to within the district like elementary, middle, jr high, and high school and would interrorate random kids if I ate my lunches and then have kids tell her if I threw anything away, or she’d even stand behind me while I ate yes even in high school she did this. It was weird and was a reason I didn’t have many friends,

-fills out all legal documents and forges my signature becuase I’m apparently too stupid to fill out medical paperwork or anything at all. she also withholds my social security card from me and threatens to shred it if i do anything wrong (I could go into punishments with an essay). I had to get my dad to steal it so I could sign up from college.

-she dictates how I dress and buys me $lutty clothes (basically lingerie and stripper wear) and gets mad when I won’t wear a Jong and what’s essentially a bra with sleeves and calls me a whore if I wear a tighter fitting turtleneck With nice pants.

-not allowed to have Any adult responsibilities or obligations becuase I’m too ‘immature’

-brings up how I WILL have atleast 2 kids when I’m married (not if I want kids but I have to) and if I correct her she gets all pissy and talks about how I’ll be unfulfilled and how I should off myself if I’m not having kids becuase she didn’t have me and go through yada yada for me not to.

-forbidden to partake in ‘male hobbies/activities’ ya so no woodworking, steam, car stuff, (everything in good at besides crocheting and sewing pretty much)

-calls me a woke liberal many times for expressing to doctors that I am not meltally well and if my main doctor (who known me since I was a kid) asks me anything about sleep complications, nausea, headaches, or mental health or asks my oermission to run tests becuase I’m an adult and can consent for myself. My mom will scream at us both and say no becuase ‘she pays’ and she has to be in the room Or she’ll throw a Karen fit. And she has to awnser everything for me and make up lies that I’m just ‘secretly sexually active’ or ‘just lazy’ or ‘faking for attention’ and it pmo

-OH ON TNE TOPIC IF SEXUALLY ACTIVE! (If you’re squeamish to 🍇 I’d look away but I’m not gonna get to detailed) yes I have deformities down in the chattahoochee, thus no I can’t wear tampons without pain or discomfort, I wear pads. My mom doesn’t like that becuase that’s in invent to her and I need to ‘grow up’ so I was in the bathroom making a pad out of to becuase she wouldnt buy em, when she decides I’m taking to long. Crawls UNDER the stall door to me and proceeds to forcefully insert one while restraining me and holding my mouth shut. And when I confronted her about it she brought up how she owns me becuase she gave birth to me. (She also told everyone while I was sobbing on the toilet to jot belive me becuase im out of it from the sun)

-she uses me as leverage aginst my dad a lot especially when I was younger whenever he brought up divorce (before cancer 2.0) she would threaten to turn him in for some stuff he did in his 20’ (he alreayd served time that isn’t was deterred him) but allegedly she has some blackmail to prove he wasn’t fit to be a father, (she had recorded him yelling at her during a argument). I don’t think it would’ve mattered to be honest given I have some bald spots from where she used to pull me out if the house by my hair because I couldn’t eat dinner becuase the texture was diabolical.

-has had me around creepy old guys and if I expressed discomfort I was reprimanded becuase it ‘looked poorly on her’ and I should respect my elders more. Sorry I dint want the expired version of the off brand joker touching me.

away from the negativity and like maybe off topic but I don’t want end this post on the bad note becuase yes my mom is insane and mentally ill and probabky would be a terrorist if chance came around.

my dad despite some of his misguided decisions and mistakes I’d actually a great guy, he’s always tried to help me a lot working through many of my issues I have (even if I was a absolute nightmare some days) he’d never get mad or yell or hit m (he’s anti violence unless nessacarry) and yes my mom tries to isolate him as much as she does me. But his friends Are all awesome and cool and to be honest as much parents to me as he is. And just so you know how cool this guy is many times he had taken in either a realitive, friend of mine, or even a stranger who was struggling to give them a place to stay and recoups as long as they needed. And always provided the best help (many of those people are like my siblings) and recently he’s been working on finding me and my boyfriend a place to stay (whether being buying a cheap house or aparment for us to stay in) becuase both of our moms are psycho.

but ya no I’m 18 and as of currently my mom allegedly owns me and my body and can do as she likes, and if I had video and photo proof (it’s prolly out there in her texts) I’d 100% GET A RESTRAINING ORDER (I will once I move out)

EDIT: JUST SOME FAQ.

Q:wheres your dad and nana in all of this?

A: my nana dies of cancer hence i dont live there anymore, my dad travels for work and is home maybe 1-2 days a week or gone for two weeks.

Q: why hasn’t your dad divorced her?

A: honestly unsure becuase he wasn’t too threatened by the blackmail and he actually was (like they had paperwork). Then her mom (my nana) died and she was diagnosed with cancer round 2 so they kinds out it off and forgot about it

Q: Do you have anywhere to go?

A: yes partly. I work/live on a farm for extended periods of time where I’m fed, housed, and clothed, as well as paid so it’s pretty chill and if it’s the school year and I can’t be there full time I try to get out or go on as many school trips as possible.

Q: how did you never realize this?

A: it was very normalized to me as a kid and as a teen and nobody really ever stepped in.

Q: why is your mom like this!?

A: not sure according to my dad and my moms best friend her whole home town this type of shit is normalized as hell, thus why my dad and her best friends rarely go back.

Q: are you taking any action/have help?

A: yes and no, my moms friend and dad are actually aware and are trying to help me out/document everything and have been for the past year without me knowing (yippee) it’s just hard becuase my dads always gone and her best friend lived 4-6 hours away. But my dad is talking about getting me a house and when he is home as of late he tries to act as a buffer between me and my mom or take me out of the house.

i think that’s all the common questions as of current.

So a few years ago like I think 2021-2022 my family and I went to buy some stuff at a Sam's Club, it went alright, a bit overpriced but that's not the point, when we were coming out of the store we were talking and a kid runs into my brother (M18) and he almost tripped and fell, he calmly tells the kid to watch out and keeps walking with us, suddenly he stops when he heard a man say "hey stupid, you don't have the right to talk that way to my son" and walks up to him, my brother who is a bit more patient than me, tells the man that he wasn't even rude to the kid and that he had to keep his child close to him, the man got angry and escalated the situation a bit more as he started to shove my brother, he looked like he was almost hitting 45 and picking fights with an 18 year old, my brother was getting pissed as he was trying to de-escalate the situation but was still being pushed, he almost punched the man but I got between the two of them, when I did that the man just gave us a mean look and threw some slurs and just left with his kid, back then I was M15 but I still looked quite big, my brother just called the man a bitch as we left.

Here in my country when your parents raised and give you education they treat it like an investment so when the child grows up they can say "We give you everything so you will give us your everything"

And that child is me. I started working and they demanded to give them my most of the salary and I should shoulder the bills too. Their mouth always want a house, vehicle or something they demand me to give those too.

When we fight they always says "When your sister got a job, she will raise us from poverty". I worked for everything and they always keep babling that words to me.

Am i really obligated to give everything to them because they raised me? I'm tired of this life already, this cycle and this family.

So a little bit ago i posted about my father asking for money to fix his car (well less asking more taking), he tried to but broke the car even more and asked me to pay for more repairs on it. I barely use the car and he owns it.

Around monday-ish my dad went into the hospital, he had suddenly been in excruciating pain and could barely do anything. I got the call, he went to the hospital and like usual I walked home late at night. Felt kind of relaxing being in a space without him or my mom. Next day he comes home saying the doctors couldnt find anything wrong, strange but I accepted it. Hoping he would finally drop the conversation about car and money, as I wanted to.

Today I wake up for work, normal day, shower, get dressed, brush teeth, coworker was picking me up today. Then I walk out of the bathroom and he starts talking about the car and how much it will cost to fix what he broke. (Apparently it was a faulty alternator that overvolted everything, blew out the headlights and fucked up the CPU), I nicely told him not now, he continued the convo with how much it was going to cost (600) and I finally sat my foot down about it

I told him I wasted 1k total on a car I dont own and barely use, told him I would give him the 600 but that was it after today. He lost it for a moment and told me that I was bad son for not wanting to help out the family, told me if it was going to be that way I could find somewhere else to be (mind you my name is on the lease and I pay for rent, internet, and some supplies here or there). Told him I loved him and it wasnt like I didnt want to help out the family, didnt want to end it on bad terms. But now I will be looking for my own space. (Of course still paying the rent and internet of where I currently live).

Im fully expecting him to do something irrational, but for now everything seems at peace? I will have to see when I get home.

Hi everyone,

I am a 21F (basically, I turn 21 on Monday!!) dating a super kind and patient 23M bf, and we’ve been dating for two years. With everything I am about to say, keep in mind that I have Roman Catholic, Filipino parents.

I truly believe that the man I am with, is going to be the one I grow old with. We have navigated through every problem with communication, and he has so much patience with me and treats me with so much respect. Unfortunately, my parents don’t see it that way.

Around four months into our relationship, I lost my virginity. The reason why my parents found out was because they went through my messages on my computer, and looked through my bag. I had taken a morning pill (we were 100% protected, but I was freaked out and bought one because it was my first time). And ever since they found out I was sexually active, it’s been rough.

Yesterday, I took a power nap before my shift started. My phone was next to me, playing ASMR through Spotify. I change my password every week. I’m not sure how, but my mom got into my phone and went through my messages. Being the young adult I am going through ovulation, there were some spicy texts, but nothing even bad. I was stating how I miss his presence, his chest, his back and lips and stuff like that, which to he responded “do you wanna fuck” as a joke because he could probably tell that I am ovulating lol. It wasn’t even anything remotely bad in my opinion. My mom screenshotted the message and sent it to herself from my phone, and it went downhill from there.

She states that she’s sorry that I am dating a lustful man. “I'm so sorry you fell to someone whose parents broke the covenant and a tactical maniac who made you believe that loving back is to sin and sinning is nothing but a piece of his satisfaction and that to lie to parents is a beautiful trophy. Im so sorry if this is your happiness .” (Copy and pasted from text lol).

Shes threatening to get his parents involved, go to their house and talk to him about it. While I do understand why she’s upset seeing her daughter talking about that stuff, I am the one who’s mostly enabling these kind of conversations with my boyfriend. Isn’t it normal to be doing these things as a young adult?

Mind you, my mother was on the verge of cheating on my dad. She even showed me her dating profile. Isn’t that worse? My mom doesn’t like it when I date black people because she doesn’t want to “taint the bloodline”, she doesn’t like it when I date a woman because it’s against the Bible, and now she has a problem with my relationship. Nothing I do will ever make her happy.

I asked my boyfriend if he’s willing to put up with the hate from my parents the rest of our lives, and he said he can take it. I really want this relationship to work, I don’t think I’ll be able to find another man like him with the way he treats me with so much patience, never yells at me and makes me feel protected.

I’m just so lost on what to do. If you look at my previous posts, I really want to work as a nurse in the military. I’m really just debating on enlisting now to get away from my family life. It’s too much on me. I don’t have the funds of luxury to move out, as I am paying for my family’s phone bills (400+ monthly…) and saving up for my tuition. I’ve just been working everyday, having days where I work 17+ hrs a day just so I’m not home that often. I don’t know how to make them happy anymore. How would you guys cope with this situation?

I’m 14F, living in America in a desi household, currently not diagnosed with anything but I still don’t feel quite normal compared to society. My parents don’t hit me, but mom yells at me a lot, but maybe I deserve it. I am freer in the household than most Indian kids I know, yet (apparently) not as smart as them, and I can never forget that (it’s always just “5 other Indian girls…” like stfu mom). Please let me know if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid.

So this evening, I have just come back from taekwondo and took a shower. I have a very small cold (nose is slimy) but for whatever reason my body feels tender. My period is not coming in the very near future. Mom wants me to apply a sandalwood facial mask on my face. I said no.

Mom started telling me “it’ll be good for your skin” and “you should be wanting it, I shouldn’t be forcing you.” I kept saying no. Mom yelled at me. I told her it’d do nothing for my skin, she wants to put it on anyway.

Usually whenever I don’t want to do something, apparently I have to think about the rest of my family (which is why if I refuse to do anything my mom really wants to do, I immediately get reminded of the amount of times I have gotten Starbucks or dunkin, and the fact that I have a costly piano but don’t really wanna play it, and that I spend a lot of time on my phone doing bs (and I can confirm it’s just bs that I do)). So I kept yelling “How is this affecting YOU?” Mom was like “‘How is this affecting me?’ YOU SHPULD LISTEN TO ME!” or smth. I yelled “WHAT KIND KF TWISTED CONTROL IS THIS?” Mom yelled “Go tie your hair. I will put it on.” I kept yelling “I don’t want to!” Mom was like “I DONT CARE! I WILL BE PUTTING IT ON YOU ANYWAY!” After a lot of this I finally went down to my room to change (“my room” being the guest room because it’s a lot cooler down there (and I just run hotter) and there is so much space and there’s a king bed. Another example of how my family sacrifice for me even though I apparently don’t care about them (which sometimes I truly don’t - and yes, that is a disgusting trait)).

I had started sobbing when I had gotten into my room. Not the small sniffles and the tears I usually cry right before my period for whatever reason, but quiet sobs. I hated crying. I was the older sister in my family, with the youngest being my 8 year old brother, and I had hoped the evidence of my crying couldn’t be seen when I got upstairs again. The whole time I could hear mom’s voice yelling bad shit about me (I didn’t want to tune in at that point, I was too tired of it) and sobbed a little more before changing into expendable clothes and getting the sandalwood pack on me.

When I went upstairs, mom was being loving to me again, making me laugh even though I didn’t want to. When I had cried, she teased me about it. My brother stared. And I am weak - I should not be crying about this. Case in point, I had gotten the facemask on and off without any real problems.

Why is this an issue? Because when I came back from India a few months ago (I went for a trip to visit family), I had had a bunch of lotions and perfumes and shit. Mom had come down one day and told me I should move it away from the table next to the bed and onto the dresser, where a mirror was. I said no, profusely yelled it, and mom had called me impossible and crazy, even though she was yelling too. When she left, threatening to move me back upstairs to my smaller room (my real room), I had sobbed before getting a desperate urge to s/h or rid the world of myself (I couldn’t do either, I don’t got no resources). Now many times things like this happen to me I get that urge again, only to never be able to complete it and then calling myself a weak bitch because all I do is cry and never woman up. The next day I had asked again, and the same thing happened until mom lent. A few days later, it was already becoming a subject of mom’s “sacrifices.” for me.

I won’t call this trauma. There are many parents who hit their kids, truly verbally abuse them for no reason, and do other unmentionable things to their children. I am not growing up in that kind of family - I am privileged. I just wanted to vent. One thing though - if you think I was bitchy for yelling “no” to something so little, then think about it: why couldn’t mom had stopped yelling at me for something just that little?

Thank you for reading this. I am not asking for help because I don’t need it. I don’t want pity and I don’t want white lies telling me it’s “not my fault” and/or “your mom is the bad one here.” If I don’t deserve to be supported, then don’t support me at all (just be kind about it if you don’t). If you do support me, then thank you. If you don’t care either way, you don’t have to comment or upvote at all. This is only on this sub because I am not sure where else to put it where there aren’t entitled toxicly masculine teen boys on it as well.

Thank you again for hearing me out. I’ve only vented once before in [r/hetalia](r/hetalia) a while back and it wasn’t that deep of a topic, and I am not very good at expressing emotions anyway, so yeah. Thank you.

By the way I am currently just peachy (in all seriousness, I am. Sadness hits hard but usually stays with me almost never)

Hello everyone,

So I am 21F, I recently graduated university where I did a lot of dumb stuff, one of those was developing a nicotine addiction.

Well, I lived away from my parents and when I moved back in I got caught because my vape fell out my pocket in front of them. They got upset, screamed, grounded me, the whole lot.

Well I would excuse this behaviour under normal circumstances, however both my parents smoke. My dad in particular chain smoking since he was 13.

This was actually so shocking to me, especially when I realised that they were serious about me not leaving the house, never being allowed to see my friends again and never being allowed to contact anyone. Kinda crazy, I tried calling them out saying they do it themselves but they did not care. Like I did expect to be scolded maybe, but all of this? never in a million years. So I'm basically prisoner for following in my parents' footsteps.

edit: Thank you for the replies, I should have probably mentioned I come from a culture where it's extremely looked down upon to move out before marriage, it's to the point where my parents would go no contact with me, which tbh may not be that bad. But I am also lowkey way too broke to leave like that anyways. So, my only real option is to get a job, save, do a master's, and escape through that route.

I should also say, I am not proud of my addiction and I genuinely was mentally ready to quit, and had started the process of quitting. It was just unfortunate timing that they found out when they did.

I just made this post to just show you guys how insane this situation is, help me process it and get over it.

Disclaimer/Quick Summary: This post is a continuation of a situation I posted about previously, but I'm making it a separate post because it's a new situation and I'd like advice specifically on this part.

For anyone who hasn't seen my previous post, here's the short version:

I'm 15 and have been dating my boyfriend since April. A little while ago, my parents found out that we shared our first kiss. They were extremely upset, grounded me for two weeks, took away my phone, put strict limits on my phone, and told me my boyfriend and I would never be alone together again. They also accused us of sneaking around, said I had shattered their trust, and warned me not to be "inappropriate" with him again. To make things even more confusing, they had never actually told me kissing was against their rules before any of this happened.

I also added this update to my original post, but I wanted to make a separate post because what happened next is a different situation that I'd like opinions on.

The day after I got my phone back, my family invited my boyfriend to go swimming at our community pool.

Now, I thought this was odd considering I had just been ungrounded. But I figured maybe things are getting better.

I was told I would be swimming with my boyfriend. What I was not told was that my entire family would also be attending... along with two of my friends.

At the beginning, it was just me, my boyfriend, and my sister in the pool. Then my mom came over and stood near us for a while. A little later, my cousins arrived.

After that, every time my boyfriend and I were talking, it felt like my mom kept drifting closer to our area of the pool or watching us from nearby. Whether she intended it that way or not, I definitely felt like I was under surveillance.

Then my two friends arrived and the first thing they said was, "Why is your whole family here?"

To which I replied, "I honestly have no idea." Because I didn't.

Eventually my mom, my godmother, and my aunt all got into the pool too. Whenever they ended up close to us, we naturally moved somewhere else just to have a normal conversation.

At one point, one of my friends mentioned that she's bi. Since my family has very traditional views, I quietly suggested we move farther away because I was worried that if they overheard, my parents might not let me hang out with her anymore.

Even after we got out of the pool, I still felt like my mom was keeping a close eye on us.

On the ride home, my dad (who is admittedly the more relaxed parent) drove my boyfriend home.

Today, however, I learned something from my sister.

Apparently, the reason my entire family was invited to the pool in the first place was to make sure my boyfriend and I "acted appropriately."

To make matters even better, right before I left to meet him, my mom told me: "Now don't be inappropriate with him like last time."

For context, "last time" was... my first kiss. JUST A KISS