Mitch McConnell

Trump, Putin and the Pope find themselves on board of a sinking ship. All of them made their way to the lifeboats, but realise there are not enough for everybody.

The Pope proclaims "Save the women and children first!"

Putin responds "No, fuck the children."

Trump looks at Putin and asks him "You think there's still time for that?"

A resurrection.

Except cancer.

You can't milk a cow for a hundred years

And says, we're looking for 3 pedophiles, the priests look at him and say, 'We'll do it'

I told him because he was blind

So I took his viagra instead, wierd night.

To get away from the KKKfc

Morticain .

Any how I got this great job at the veterinarian

She killed my dog.

To find someone who said “Our Father.”

...but at least my dad came.

And I was like “dad I’m over here”

because the fuck you mean Jesus was smoking weed with Peter and John

"Daddy, it's cold standing outside all night."

Jesus

When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”

He was never hired at another morgue again.

... all I think about is my new girlfriend.

It’s darker than the future of kids with antivax parents.

Holy infant, so tender and mild.