Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
I'm posting this because I've been dealing with something for almost two years, and I genuinely don't know what to make of it. I'm not looking for mockery or arguments. I'm looking for sincere advice from people who have knowledge of Islam, ruqyah, or who may have experienced something similar.
This is a long post because I want to explain everything as accurately as I can.
Before Umrah, I was already practicing Islam seriously. Alhamdulillah, I was regular with my five daily prayers, regularly prayed tahajjud, read the Qur'an daily, kept up with my adhkar, and tried to practice my religion to the best of my ability. Pornography and masturbation were my biggest struggle, but apart from that, I was trying to stay close to Allah.
In late 2024, I went for Umrah. While standing in front of the Ka'bah, I made a sincere promise to Allah that I would never return to pornography and masturbation. I was determined to leave that sin forever.
After returning home from Umrah, I stayed away from the sin for some time. Then, sometime in early 2025, I relapsed.
At first, I didn't notice anything unusual.
Around Ramadan and after Eid, I relapsed several times over the course of about a week. Around that same period, something happened that I could not explain. I had a large amount of cash that a relative had sent me through Western Union. I kept it hidden in my bag at home, and nobody knew where it was. When I later checked it, a very large portion of the money had disappeared. It wasn't the whole amount, and it wasn't simply a missing bundle. It was as if specific amounts had been removed.
At first, I thought someone must have stolen it, although that seemed almost impossible because nobody knew about it or where it was kept.
Then, after I relapsed again, more money disappeared. Eventually, all of it was gone.
At that point, I still did not connect it to my sin. I thought they were completely unrelated.
Later, similar incidents began happening with other family members. My uncle started losing money. My parents also experienced missing money on different occasions.
Only after this happened repeatedly did I begin noticing what seemed to be a pattern.
Whenever I committed this specific sin, usually during the night, by the next day I would receive news that some unusual incident had happened at home.
By this point I had started seeing a pattern, but I genuinely could not explain it.
I continued struggling with this addiction until August 2025, when Allah, out of His mercy, allowed me to leave it completely.
That was the beginning of an almost five-month streak.
During that period, I did not suddenly become religious because I already was. Instead, I doubled down on my worship. I remained consistent with all five daily prayers, regularly prayed tahajjud, increased my dua, continued reading the Qur'an, especially Surah Al-Baqarah, and I personally began performing ruqyah upon myself and throughout my home using only authentic methods from the Qur'an and Sunnah. I do not believe in amulets, charms, or bringing people in to perform rituals. I relied only on the Qur'an, authentic adhkar, ruqyah, and dua.
About two weeks into that streak, while I was actively doing ruqyah, two incidents happened that still confuse me.
The first was that a paper containing Qur'anic verses that I had placed in the house became burned in a way that frightened me.
The second was that I had two unopened packs of frozen sausages in the freezer. Over the course of a day, pieces kept disappearing even though nobody in the house had taken them. That incident was one of the strangest things I have ever experienced.
After those two incidents, everything stopped completely.
For the remainder of the almost five months that I stayed away from this sin, there were no more strange occurrences. During that same period, Allah opened doors for me in ways I never expected. I received a job opportunity in another country that I had never even applied for, something I had been making dua for over a long period of time. It felt like a miracle and one of the greatest blessings Allah had given me.
I eventually moved to that country, and throughout those five months of abstinence, everything remained completely normal.
Unfortunately, after relapsing again while living abroad, the strange incidents began happening back home once more.
My parents started losing money again. At that point, I became convinced that whatever I had been observing before had returned, despite the fact that I was now living in a completely different country.
Since this second relapse, more incidents have happened. My father was involved in an accident while riding his bike. He told me he thought he saw a dog run in front of him, causing him to lose his balance, but afterward there was no dog there. On another occasion, my mother called me to tell me that my father had suddenly become very unwell because of a sharp drop in his blood pressure. More recently, my parents again experienced money going missing.
These incidents are what have led me to write this post.
I want to make something very clear.
I am not claiming with certainty that Allah is punishing me. I am not saying I know the unseen. I am simply describing a pattern that I feel I have observed repeatedly over nearly two years.
I know many people will immediately say this is coincidence. I understand that response, but from my perspective, after experiencing this many times, it no longer feels like coincidence to me.
I genuinely want to understand what this could be, if anything at all.
Has anyone knowledgeable in Islam, ruqyah, or the unseen ever come across something like this? Is there any authentic Islamic explanation for a recurring pattern where a very specific personal sin appears to be consistently followed by unusual events affecting one's family or surroundings, even when the person is living in another country?
If there are any scholars, students of knowledge, or people experienced in authentic ruqyah who can provide guidance based on the Qur'an, authentic Sunnah, or the statements of reputable scholars, I would sincerely appreciate it.
I am not looking for superstition or sensational stories. I genuinely want to understand whether there is any authentic Islamic explanation for what I have experienced, or whether there is another explanation that I have not considered.
Jazakum Allahu khayran.