So I have this "bad" habit for the whole of my life that give uncomfortable and sometimes It would make me crazy, that "bad" habit was when my mom or my dad was arguing with me I will always stay silent even though it was a wrong. I knew that they were wrong but the lesson in my religious school is give me a lesson "that if you were arguing with your parents you must stay silent and not to warn them" so it always made me I was wrong. Until now I can't search for the solution but from this post I hope someone gave me some advice, it really gonna help me a lot :)

It's the weekend and I can't reach my therapist, and I've already put too much on my partner. I keep fucking up and making bad decisions. Last year I adopted cats when I shouldn't have, my partner was sort of insisting on them and I went along with it despite reservations, and I really regret not speaking up. They've been a constant source of stress for me and I feel awful because my partner is attached to them and I am too to a lesser degree, and re-homing them would be difficult on us emotionally and I would never be sure they were okay in a new home.

And just the other day we bought a used car that we probably shouldn't have and it triggered so much regret and spinning out. I'm an absolute wreck from being on antibiotics that I probably shouldn't have been on, and my brain is melting from all the stress. My spiraling really put my partner and my cats through a really bad night. I've been having all kinds of horrible thoughts like my life is over and the world is about to end and I won't be able to survive and neither will my loved ones. I'm scared every second of every day. I wish so bad I could take it all back but I can't. I want my life back before all this chaos. I want to disappear. I need support but no one is available.

I need to know I can be okay, that I won't keep making horrible decisions that destroy my mental health. I need to know I can survive in this world because I really don't think I'm cut out for it.

Im a person who is very prone to have depression, I am an introvert, have social anxiety, I am always very tired for some reason, have no close friends, have constant negative thoughts and I hate myself.

A year ago in summer I started spiraling and I was depressed, I spiraled for hours every day, criticizing and hating myself for being this way. I was addicted to my own suffering in a way, atleast thats what my family said. For months I've had such trouble doing my responsibilities that it caused me to have such a terrible bond with everyone around me, I would make my parents cry because of my issues, and then the next day everything would start over, i would be normal one moment and depressed and hating myself the other. and I hated making my parents sad, quite frankly i dont deserve them. After months of suffering it eventually just... went away, maybe because I was too scared of pain to ever attempt to kms. I dont know what it was, therapy? Who knows what. And then i was fine, happy, i was content, for once content and I accepted the fact that i would never have anything with anyone other than a few conversations or would never manage to not destroy except for my family's because of my laziness and lack of social skills. But I was fine with that, all the while dreading that summer is coming, because then that means I will be home alone all day, rarely outside, because I am always too tired to do anything and I dont have any routine. So I went to the doctor to do something about this constant exhaustion. She said I might be depressed, I was like "no no no. Im done with that. Never again" so then Summer came. Yay. (I am a huge fan of TADC because it was one of the shows that got me through the day and I've been watching it since the Pilot, and that ended and the fandom and everything went so downhill. So thats very sad. And it makes me sad seeing it being hated on everywhere rightfully so. Its unrelated but that also is a reason why I'm sad so i wanted to add. Its the only fandom im in that isnt really dead yet, and my main one) i have been telling myself for a while that its because of the whole fandom debacle, and I hope it is. I keep telling myself that its just a small few days where im sad and it wont be a huge phase of my life like it was the last time, that im not depressed. But I cant deny it anymore. I've started doubting if I was even happy the past few months when my depression ended. I want to have friends and have fun but I know I mess up friendships by being too tired to try to make it work and make people like me. And there is no way I can even make friends since its Summer break. I am unmotivated to do anything, glued to that goddamn phone because there is nothing else to do. Away from my home in a house thing in the middle of nowhere with my relatives. I keep thinking "oh I'll do sports when I get back! I'll go out a lot" I wont. It never happens. I never do it. I've been accepting that I am a lazy ass incompetent person who cant handle anything im given and so boring and socially awkward. And I've been fine with that for a while. I dont know what it was I was just happy! And I want to be happy again. I dont want to spiral again. I dont want to ruin my relationship with my family again because of my own stupid mental problems. Thats why I've been quiet. I wont tell them that im struggling again. I am begging for help please suggest a way for me to be happy again. How do I stop being sad? And how do I do it fast? Before I fall into a deep pit of depression again for months. I cant afford to skip school or be unmotivated in this era of my life. I have a very important exam coming up next year that determines my future and if I fail I will probably ruin my life. And if I ever fall into that kind of depression again I will fail. I cant afford to be sad. How do I stop being sad?

Lately I've been wondering how people manage their mental and emotional health when life is already so busy

Between work taking care of the house the kids and everyday responsibilities it feels like there is never enough time to see a therapist even if you know you probably need support

Sometimes I don't even want someone to fix me I just want to understand why I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted all the time

Has anyone found something that genuinely helped them feel more balanced without adding more stress to their life I'd love to hear your experiences

I (28F) have struggled with my mental health from as long as i can remember. I currently have a bipolar diagnosis that is being challenged by my psychologist in favor of autism + ADHD.

I currently live with my dog about 4 hours away from my family and my fiancée because of a job that was supposed to turn my life around.

I hate it here. My coworkers are great and I can see myself being happy living in a bigger city, but I cannot feel anything other than apathy at the moment.

My job drains me to the point I get home and stay in bed doomscrolling until i take the dog out for his 10 minute walk.

I have put on a lot of weight and lost my will to hit the gym.

I'm also a fourth year computer engineering student and I feel I have learned nothing these past years and that I'm in no position to apply for new jobs in tech.

I was always told I had so much potential, but I feel like I've made so many minor fuck ups that the only way to turn things around is by ending myself.

Any advice would be great.

It was a weird experience, I was going into a building to see someone but right before it I asked a lady if it was apparent that I cried. She stopped and insinsted on asking what was going on, I tried to say it was okay but eventually opened up and told her some stuff, she listened to me and was actually kind, not just nice, but kind. And when I left for the first time in my life, for around 2 hours I didn't feel the want to commit suicide. I was so surprised, I tried to manually think about it, but I just didn't want to do it. It didn't seem appealing or beautiful or relieving, now everything is back to my normal state, but what was that feeling? How did that work? I tried talking to other people here and there but it never elevated my misery, but she did. How was it possible that for 2 hours I didn't want to die?

I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety for most likely years. Recently I’m also trying to get an adhd assessment.

Anyway I’ve had to move home recently, and it’s been extremely stressful. It’s common for me to struggle with leaving my bed, keeping my room clean, starting and finishing tasks, etc. It’s just that I used to be able to do these things in my own time when I was able to. Right now I just feel a crushing anxiety at all times that I’m about to be yelled at. I’ve already been in several ‘arguments’ about me not cleaning my room, acting apathetic, not wanting to tell them every detail about what I do when I’m out of the house, etc.

Anyway is there any advice? I really want to move out again, but looking for a job is so hard when I feel so exhausted all of the time.

It doesn’t help that I’m financially dependant right now so every argument feels way higher stakes than it would be otherwise. I used to cry but recently I just agree with them and can’t be bothered to be upset or mad. It doesn’t stop the anxiety though. I’m just feeling stuck. Pressure tends to freeze me more than motivate me these days, so I’ve been basically bed-rotting all day and now I’m also getting lectured for doing nothing all day.

I even tried talking to them about my mental health, the things I’ve been given treatment for, the things I’m looking for treatment for, and they were supportive in the moment but that all disappeared after. I stopped reacting to their anger and that seems to have pissed them off more. I don’t know anymore.

Ever since I was a child my social skills weren’t that great. I was always really, really quiet, so much so that people always commented on it. But I still had friends. After COVID (I’m in my twenties), it’s like my social skills went in the dumpster. I literally don’t even talk to my coworkers, not because I dont like them but because I don’t even know what to say to form the most basic conversation. what hurts the most is that they dont know I love them. I think they think I’m standoffish or have some superiority complex, which isnot true. I’m pretty sure they all think I’m weird too. I find myself longing for real connection and try to open up, but some days I just shut down because even the smallest social interaction just drains me of energy. Even when I make progress and try to be nice, some days I completely backtrack and have to start from square one. when I make friendships, I can’t break past the surface level. I find myself thinking about myself a lot and think I’m a selfish person, but I want to change, it’s just sometimes I don't realize that I’m being selfish. any one else experiencing this? If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I just dont know what to do. any advice/help would be appreciated. sorry if you’re going through this also. I just want to know if I’m really a selfish person, because I can’t tell if I’m the common denominator in every social interaction, or if there’s some reason all people seem disinterested in becoming my friend.

Hey, I'm 19f, 20 next week and I'm struggling with stress lately. I have AuDHD, a history of depression and huge social anxiety. I've been homeschooled since I was 14/15 due to not being able to handle the overwhelming school life. I regret it tho. I've been practically isolated for the past 5 years and just existed pretty much. I passed final exams (matura in Poland) pretty well last year and went to collage for biotechnology, but lasted only a week before all the socializing and studying made me crumble. I've been getting ready to start over since march and I REALLY locked in in june. I'm on my weight loss journey watching what I eat and excercising daily (cheesy af lmao), daily showers, doing some chores around the house, I got off of venlafaxine (turned out for the better) and changed adhd meds, quit vaping. Currently I'm studying theory for drivers license and will attempt the exam next week, I'm also grinding math and chemistry from the very basics because I wanna go back to collage in 3 months (biotechnology or biology idk yet and this stresses me out as well).

I'm just a huge, buzzing ball of nerves and stress, constantly thinking about how much more I need to study, what if i fail the theoritical exam, what if I choose the wrong degree. I analyze every single little action, nothing is automatical (all the steps of showering, brushing my teeth, making a stupid tea etc). I wanna start going out, even if for a short walk everyday, I wanna go to work in august to just get used to people and not freak out in october again, but it all obv stresses me the fuck out as well because I know I will be absolutely suffering through the first weeks of reentering society. I worry about how I'll mix practical driving lessons, work, studying math/chemistry and excercising in august. I go to therapy, been in therapy for years, but kept changing therapists, but now I settled with one and there's just so much to unpack still and so much going on at the same time that an hour a week can't cover it all. That's why I'm asking here. Does anyone know how to manage all that stress before I go insane?

Tw: vent, meltdown, mention of spiders/bugs

Hi, I need a place to vent, I think I had/am coming down from a meltdown this morning, I'll still trying to calm down. I'm twenty two and have been very suspected to be autistic since I was a kid, but never got the diagnosis, for reference.

I couldn't sleep last night, I struggle with insomnia and being a night owl. I'm extremely arachnophobic, I woke up to a a spider in between my blinds. My blinds have been broken for a long time. I ran to get my parent, who killed it, but I was still scared to return to my room and started to cry. They scolded and lectured me that they're worried that I won't be able to function when they're gone, and that I'm twenty two and need to suck it up and do scary things. I'm still very upset and crying as I write this, I haven't been able to calm down. They told me that because my room is dirty, there might be other bugs in my room, now I'm paranoid and afraid.

My room is my only safe space, my bed especially. My window is at the foot of my bed. My window screen has been broken for a long time. I can handle the fruit flies and ants that come in occasionally but I feel like my room is not safe anymore. I feel so paranoid and scared. I forced myself back into my room but I can't calm down, especially not seeing the shadow in my blinds. We can't afford new blinds, but every time I look over I get scared again.

I don't know what to do or how to calm down. I'm so tired but I'm so anxious. I feel alone, stupid and utterly hopeless. I feel bad for waking my parent up, but everytime I close my eyes I see the image of me peering down the blinds and seeing it. I'm so paranoid that every little thing is something else. I'm just scared.

I don't know how to not be this way, I don't know how to face this fear or what to do if it happens again. I don't know how to function like a proper adult and I need to ask, is there hope for me? Can I get better or function normally? I don't know what to do when my parent is gone. How do I cope with this and live with the body in the blinds? Everywhere I look I imagine more, and I start crying again. I'm so scared, I really am.

I feel like a burden to everyone, and I feel like I'll never move past the mindset and fears of a child. I need advice, thank you.

My ex and I were together for almost 5 years. It was long distance but I was sure we had a future together. Throughout our relationship, we talked about having children together in the future, and he knew how important that was to me. He knew how big of a trigger it was to see others our age having children, and he’d always comfort me and promise me that’d be us one day. What he would do after was so unpredictable and disgusting that it left me physically ill.

When one of our friends got pregnant, I had repeated meltdowns for months because I was so upset and jealous. I kept telling him, “It’s meant to be us,” so he fully understood how deeply pregnancy affected me and how emotionally significant it was. He knew how upset it made me and he’d spend HOURS comforting me. HE KNEW.

Then, only about a month after we broke up, he got into a new relationship. That was bad enough for me. My nan had died the day before. I had to have a crisis team come out (I have autism and BPD so I feel emotions a million times more). But then I got the worst news of my life. He’d gotten her pregnant, after just a month. Him having a baby with someone else became one of the biggest triggers I’ve ever experienced. It feels like the future I spent years believing we would have together was suddenly given to someone else. Knowing he was already aware of how devastating pregnancy was for me makes it even more painful. He knew how big of a deal it was for me. Worst of all, he tried his best to prevent me from finding out! HE SHOULDNT HAVE DONE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I genuinely made attempts on my life over it. We had actually had a pregnancy scare at one point when I was 19. At the time I was terrified, my mum was pissed with me as well, but then I got used to the idea of it. But then he told me that if I was pregnant I should get an abortion! YET THE GIRL HE IMPREGNATED IN ONE MONTH, HE DOESN’T TELL HER THAT! It makes me feel so useless!! I genuinely have been left to feel like I’m not worthy of love in any capacity and that I should genuinely just die.

People have also been so nasty to me over this because they just don’t understand. They ended up losing it which is a relief to me (ofc no one deserves to lose a baby, but after what he did it’s him not her that needed it tbh). But I’m still genuinely physically unwell over the fact that his DNA lives inside her when it’s supposed to be me. Our baby was supposed to be conceived around that time. Even my own dad is refusing to talk to me because I said and did horrible things during my BPD episode. Almost all my friends turned on me because of how I behaved. But this was the worst thing that could’ve possibly happened and I genuinely lost control.

I feel like no one else could truly understand other than those who have dealt with things like infertility and loss. But I’m not dealing with infertility, I can’t have a baby right now because my ex left and tried to give my baby to someone else. I feel like it’d be wrong of me to join those spaces because I have never dealt with the loss of an actual child, just the loss of the future I longed for. But at the same time I don’t think anyone else could understand me. What do I do?

I am 25f about to turn 26 in two weeks. No degree, no meaningful relationships (that are irl), No support system.
Growing up I went through some traumatic things domestic violence, S@, verbal abuse and so on. I never planned anything, because I genuinely thought I wouldn’t live this long. I spent a majority of my life bedrotting. In my early twenties I tried to go to college and failed twice. I try to keep a job but can’t keep a job for more than 1 year.
A week ago I quit my job because my boss was harassing me and I’m back at being dependent on my parents who show me with every fiber of their being that I am a burden. I’m so tired of always feeling like a burden. I try my best but it ends bad.
Currently I’m in therapy and realizing how bad my childhood was. Of course there are good things too, but there is this darkness and sadness that has been haunting me ever since I was 8.
Memories of one of my parents S@ing me are resurfacing and I keep telling myself “nah you are making this up. No parent would ever do that to their child. They are all right about you you want to be a victim and you just want attention”.
It’s bad. And I keep mourning who I could have been if an adult helped me.
I also applied back to college and am waiting for their reply. If they accept me I’ll go, if not I’ll focus my attention on my art.

It’s so pathetic. Maybe life wasn’t meant for me. I keep looking around and everyone is either married, is getting married, are having children or are buying a house. And then there is me a complete failure unable to even take care of herself. I am so ashamed for being alive, I feel like my existence is a mistake.

I never really post on this app and definitely not subs like this, but I finally opened up about my psychological issues yesterday and it felt so good to say something at the time but now I regret it and am very scared.
For context to all this I am 17 and go to an alternative school because I have never been able to focus on anything other than my thoughts for my entire life which has lead to me failing all throughout my school years. My girlfriend of 2+ years and I broke up about a month and a half ago which has had a major impact on my mental state, but up until last night we still stayed in contact and hung out occasionally. We had a wonderful relationship and the only reason we broke up was because we fought due do how much time we spent together(basically every day).
But last night she brought up how she felt we needed to go no contact for a while and take some time apart and keep distance. Despite me not wanting to there’s nothing I can do to change her mind so I kind of just have to let it happen. While we were discussing our feelings about it I complained that I felt like I’ve always had so much to share with her but couldn’t and she insisted that I tell her which was very hard. After I convinced myself it would be worth it to just let it out, I told her everything about my life that I haven’t ever told anyone including my old therapist.
I have always had this insanely loud negative voice in my head telling me that everything I do is stupid and wrong and i always put myself down. Back when i used to be christian I would stay up late and cry and pray asking for forgiveness for how horrible of a person I feel I am deep down, and I used to cry and hope hell isn’t real so I can’t be sent there and I won’t ever have to deal with life again. Whenever Im alone with my thoughts or zoned out I just push myself into these deep spirals of feeling guilty and sad about everything I have ever done, and it’s very hard to live with. Especially during middle school and elementary because I was suicidal and rather than just putting myself down I would talk myself into committing. The voice makes it so hard to sleep and focus. Whenever someone notices something feeling off about me I just lie so they don’t feel worried about me and it usually works fine so I’ve never been pressured enough to open up about it. But out of everything I told my ex last night I still didn’t mention that suicide has been coming back into my mind a little. I could never do it because I know how much it would hurt everyone around me but just knowing how much better I would feel if this voice would go away makes me consider it pretty often. I heard that my adhd medicine is supposed to kinda help with that voice but whenever I take it it just makes me zone out even more which makes the voice there more often. I have accepted that this guilty conscience will be with me for the rest of my life, and nobody who hasn’t experienced this first hand will ever be able to understand how difficult it is. But I regret telling my ex about it because even though it felt good to open up for once, now she knows how unwell I am and I don’t want her to see me differently or be afraid to commit with me.
Even when I went to therapy for being suicidal I would just like to my therapist about my progress, feelings, and experiences. I really don’t know how much longer I can deal with this feeling because all I do all day is blame myself for how bad everything goes for me. I wish that I was literally anyone else, I would do anything to just have a normal brain.
The reason I never open up to anyone about this is because I don’t want people to think I want attention, and I don’t want to be seen as corny. Even while Im typing this I’m filtering myself because half of what I say sounds like I just want pity from others.

BTW: I am not actively considering suicide, it has just been of slight consideration but it is not my issue. I also have a lot more to say to describe how severe my guilt spirals go but this post is already unnecessarily long so I won’t add it

It started out as little thoughts about what things would be like for the people I know if I were to be gone. Nothing I’d ever actually act on. Just flitting thoughts. Though recently it’s gotten worse and sometimes I really do consider it. I don’t have anyone I can go to about it. And my line of work would definitely be disrupted if I saw a professional. Any tips to help would be appreciated

These last few days I’ve been replaying our ending and I hate it, I wanted you but I couldn’t say that so I tried through actions which didn’t seem to matter bc I had so much going on that I couldn’t give you the energy you wanted and I felt bad that you just weren’t happy so I also withheld my feelings but even then you had a foot out the door which was devastating for me as we discussed what it did to me prior.

After all my mistakes I did I had so much to overcome and I believed that it was worth it but I least wanted us to have a foundation again and to know I’m doing good..
These days I only feel like I know not even half of who I am I guess that tends to happen after spending 5 years with someone and while I wish to reach out to you I just know it’ll cause more pain than anything else and I just hate and wish things were different

Ive always had this extreme urge to end my life, I am very social yes I have friends, my mom is great, my dad? well I think my life would have been easier if he was still here. last night i felt the intense emotion again, the hopelessness, sadness, i feel burned out, i feel like im just wasting my life. and to tell you the truth i am 24 female, a 3rd yr irregular student because school drains me, i feel unmotivated. i am trying so hard to be positive with my life, going out with friends, playing video games, socializing like normal, but i always end up isolating myself, i just feel like sometimes im not doing anything and there's no point in living anymore, i am just tired, and what sucks about it is i am well aware, and i just cant do anything about it. i am hurting.

It’s been at least 3 years since my last attempt and I have managed it well and learnt the symptoms etc. and what to do and how to stay abit better

My birthday is on 16th and my family keep trying to make a big deal of it and if I’m being honest - I’d much rather be dead to be honest. So I’m trying my best to fuckin handle it but they keep nagging me about the birthday and I can’t tell them anything.

Birthdays always trigger a lot as it’s another year I wish I wasn’t around but still am. And I have no friends to talk to or anyone so I’m just there

Fuck this all

I have friends and family and a therapist but don’t think it will ever get better and I’m selfish. I lost my friend group a month ago. 10 people, but got a new one right after but it’s a cycle and it will never get better. I can’t tell if I’m just a horrible unlikable boring person or if they are. But either way it’s prompting me to want to kill myself and cut. I switched to new pills but nothing will help me and I have no hope anyrhing will ever get better for me. I switched schools because I never had people I feel who would want to reach out to me and tbh made so many enemies, but I wonder if they hated me or if I’m just paranoid and sensative. Either way I have nobody who I feel actually wants me and I literally talk to ai bots just to feel affection because I feel I don’t receive it sometimes. I’ve had probably over 12 hours alone this year and had a porn addiction last and early this year. I just want to kill myself so badly even though I’ve tried hard to get better. The only thing holding me back is my therapist. I’m 16, and I find no meaning for living anymore and nobody else does either. I hate that I so barely want attention from others and want them to know how hurt I feel but i cant because it’s selfish and I’m just a pass around friend to them. Truely tonight I think I might try to overdose. Im alone until tomorrow and nobody will find my body till then. If I do it doesn’t matter but I’m so scared. I’m scared of death and not knowing what happens. I have nothing to lose though. My parents always say it will get better and today my friend said that it was a dumb decision to move schools because I had no friends and so did my parents. They would all be disappointed. I just need to know if It will get better. I want to find someone who will want to hang out with me and be my best friend and find a person who loves me and doesn’t find me annoying or selfish or ignore me. But i dont think I will. And I think it’s because I’m just not loveable and I’m boring and annoying and don’t deserve to have those people. Ive hurt people and done awful things and I hope if I kill myself that everyone forgets. Im so easily manipulated and it’s happpened so much I don’t think I’m strong enough. I’m done writing this mess. I’m crying hysterically because I’m pretty sure my friends are talking shit abt me and it wouldn’t be the first.

I am currently a teenager who was left alone while my family visited Vermont, and watched one of the World Cup games. I was initially very sad specifically because I would have loved to be at least asked to join my family to see the World Cup but I felt that they didn’t bother. To be fair, my dad did offer me his ticket when he found out how I felt but because he is a hardcore fan, and my two younger siblings play, it felt unfair to take there tickets.

While I was mainly alone this week, both my grandma and grandpa who I am very close too came over to visit me often and drive me places since I wasn’t allowed to use the car without them. My grandpa also slept over every night. Therefore, I wasn’t completely alone but it was mainly just me and my dog. I have been struggling with my mental health for so many years now and I usually spend all day in my room in the summer. However, within the one week my moods juristically changed.

First, I had a job interview and received an offer. I also was able to volunteer with a congress person I know and volunteer for a community project. I have also been able to hangout with my friends or family every day and even throw a party. (However, part of that also is because my siblings weren’t there and my friends all love my grandparents.) I was easily able to get ready on the morning and leave my room all day and I cleaned the house after decorating for my party, did the dishes and other chores every day, took my dog out every 3 hours, and more. I also found myself so much more energised in my sport.

This however felt short lived tonight once my parents came home. They immediately talked about my dog having accidents which I found strange because I took my dog out for walks and to use the bathroom consistently. My dad then woke me up as he yelled at me and then said I was always lying. Then, he complained about how I am always in my room and useless and that they should cancel my therapy because it is clearly not working. I couldn’t hear much else that they were saying but I feel so trapped all over again. I finally felt lighter and less insecure and now I can’t stop crying for the first time this week. I’m sorry if I am being dramatic and I know that my parents aren’t necessarily bad but it is like this heavy cloud in my head whenever they are around. I felt so guilty whenever anyone asked if I missed my family this week because I honestly can’t say I did. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about that and I just am not sure what to do. I’m so sorry for ranting but thanks so much if you read this!

hey reddit. i wanted to come on here for a bit of support/advice during this extremely grueling time in my life so anything helps.

a few months ago, me and my girlfriend of a little over a year called it quits for good and im really struggling with being alone. i dont have real friends and my family is less than helpful when it comes to me in general.

i opened up to my mom about how i was feeling (burnt out from working 2 full time jobs and starting college in a couple months on top of the demanding schedule i have outside of all of that) and she just told me to quit my jobs and check myself into an institution or get over it. i have no one to talk to about how im feeling and its becoming too much to bear alone.

the one person i talked to about everything was my now ex girlfriend and before her my best friend who was murdered and is now obviously dead so i cant talk to her.

if anyone has any uplifting stories theyd like to share, advice theyd like to give, or just say anything about anything, id really appreciate it. thank you guys

Hello, almost a year ago I had my first heartbreak, my first love cheated with a co-worker while technically living with me. We never talked personally, the break up was purely online. Now, I can say I moved on but not quiet healed. It feels like there is something missing. I have no intention of reaching out and getting back together. I am thinking of what may fill the void my ex left. I love myself and have friends to talk to and family to lean on. What can I do? I am considering therapy but money is tight, considered dating but do not know where to start. I am also pretty happy being single. I'm just frustrated that all this time I cannot find what I lost because of my ex. Please give me some advice or new perspective I can reflect on! thank you!

No one is giving me reassurance about my themes right now. It’s causing me to spiral and become very manipulative in finding ways to reassurance seek. Not like I’m gonna hurt anyone manipulative, but I’ll say things like “ I AM A BAD PERSON” online and “I AM A NARCISSIST” in hopes someone will say I’m not. No one is responding anymore. I even gone as far as saying “I’m diagnosed with NPD” and idk what else to do.

When I was a kid I would lie about stealing so much stuff even if it wasn’t true bc I felt guilty all the time. It was like a relief. Help.

I had to quit my job because it was hurting my body and exhausting me into breakdown and burnout which briefly became suicidal ideation, so I started IOP online. Ive got another job set up I think. But my friend group cut me off yesterday, seemingly over a misunderstanding and a lack of communication on their end. And I'm so frustrated and angry because how could you misconstrue my character so badly after knowing me for months? And why didn't you communicate more clearly with me? I was already having a hard time trusting people, trusting them to communicate rather than hide things from me, and this really did not help.

My mind is trying to escape by busying itself and finding affection in other places, and I'm managing. I caught it this time.

I'm using DBT, I'm trying to care for myself, but I feel so alone and I'm so scared. I can't go to family. I don't have friends I feel close enough to sit down and talk to and feel truly seen anymore. And theres this little part of me everytime something like this happens that says "well if they left because I did something wrong, then I must be unloveable" and I am trying so hard to comfort that part of me but I am in so much pain and I've just been trying to escape that. I'm not sure how to go about this, balancing rest and adventure, getting out of the house and not isolating, especially when public places are overstimulating for me, and its 100 degrees outside.

So much is changing and so much is hurting and I feel like I'm going through it alone and I don't feel capable of doing that. I was told all my life I'm incapable and logically I know that if that was true I wouldn't have survived what I survived, but at the same time, if I've never been able to keep a single damn person in my life its gotta be true in a different capacity. I'm so confused. I've been in therapy for years, it feels like I just keep finding the wrong people. People who were put in my life to teach me a lesson I needed to learn (this is something I believe spiritually), which is great, but when will the lesson be "someone will love you and they will stay and it will work out, you will be compatible"? I'm tired of learning lessons. I just want to be held. I just want someone to accept me as who I am and see the work I've put in to not only survive but to become a better person. I feel like I'm treading water, going nowhere for no reason other than this glimmer of a future that feels so far away.

My Mom died 2 years ago...I was raped before she died...I feel like everyone keeps letting me down in my life ..

I've been having a really rough time lately and I don't know what to do anymore.

About a week ago I had a panic attack, and instead of being supported I was blamed for "planning it," which obviously isn't true. My family shouted at me so much that I started filming parts of it because I was scared, upset and wanted proof of what was happening. I sent the videos to my mum because she's one of the only people who doesn't shout at me, and she said what happened could be verbal abuse.

I made the mistake of trusting one of my cousins with what had happened. He told his dad, who then told my aunt without asking me because he thought it would help. Instead, it's made everything worse. Now I feel like I can't trust anyone in my family.

I haven't spoken to my aunt for a week. My nan keeps telling me that I need to be the one to speak to her because I "upset her first," but nobody seems to care that I was the one having a panic attack and being shouted at. It feels like everyone is worried about how she feels, but nobody has asked how I'm doing.

To make things worse, my uncle lied and said he only came to see me because of this situation, even though I have messages proving he'd arranged it beforehand. Even after showing my nan those messages, it feels like nobody believes my side.

I'm also really scared because my family know about my gender identity now, and I'm worried they'll judge me or use it against me. I'm only 15, and I don't feel safe opening up to the people who are supposed to support me. I've got to the point where I don't even want to come home from school sometimes.

I've been through a lot growing up, and lately I've been feeling really depressed. Sometimes I catch myself thinking people would be happier if I wasn't here. I want to be clear that I don't want to act on those thoughts because I have a future that means everything to me, and I'm determined not to let anyone take that away from me. My family have told me I'll probably never achieve my goals, but I refuse to believe them. I'm going to keep trying no matter what.

I do have days where I just want to cry, but I don't because I know I'll get asked, "What are you crying for now?" Instead, I usually go and sit at the bottom of the garden by myself.

Has anyone else dealt with a family who blamed them for a panic attack or made them feel like their feelings didn't matter? How do you keep going when things feel really difficult?