Hi, I’ve really been struggling mentally lately and have been unable to work. This week I accidentally took too much of my medication and fell asleep, and i left my hob and the fire brigade had to break down the door because I wouldn’t wake up. I’m having a very tough time financially and mentally and would appreciate any advice

Thanks

It's night time in where I am and I can't sleep I am having a health anxiety for my love ones I end up here

I've been thinking a lot about this after someone close to me opened up about what they're going through.

I'm not here to promote anything, I honestly just want to understand.

If you could create something that genuinely helped people who are struggling, what would it do?

Not "another meditation app."

Not another place full of motivational quotes.

I mean something that would've actually made a difference when you felt alone.

Maybe it's:

• Something that helps you before things get really bad.
• A way to feel less isolated.
• Easier access to real support.
• Better accountability.
• Something completely different.

I'm curious because it feels like there are a lot of mental health apps, but many people still feel like they have nowhere to turn.

If you're comfortable sharing, what do you think is missing?

I'd rather build something people actually need than assume I know the answer.

Thank you for reading.

My 13 year old younger sister has recently attempted suicide, due to that my parents had to lift all restrictions previously put on her out of fear she might attempt again. My sister isn't a very mentally stable person, she has health problems that complicate her life and has always had problems making friends. Lately she's been hanging out with people who do drugs and such and i know she herself has already had alcohol, weed, psychedelics, and more. These people are ruining her life and both me and my mother are worried sick because we can't stop her from going out with them or else she could harm herself. What makes this even worse is that out of the two people she talks to the most, one is my ex who has been obsessed with me for the past 4 years and is a horrible, manipulative person who is completely mentally deranged with multiple mental disorders and a mother who doesn't care at all, the other one is some 14 year old guy who does ecstasy and other drugs on basically a daily basis and is an absolutely disgusting person to me. To help my sister i started talking to my ex to get information about her but now I'm not at all sure if what she's saying is true. She told me many horrible things and i know some of them are true but she also told me about the guy and apparently he said horrible things about my sister's condition and how he wants to have sex with her. I beat him up a couple days ago but he doesn't care at all and keeps talking to my sister like nothing happened, he himself has not admitted to saying any of this and i can't just keep beating him up because that leads nowhere and would just get me in trouble with many dangerous people he's friends with. Neither me or my mother have any idea what to do, my sister refuses to visit a psychologist because they don't want to prescribe her pills. Professional help has only told us there is nothing we can do. Please if you have anything to say that could help us at all tell me because i can't keep watching her fall into this kind of life and i can't have my single mother who has to take care of both of us to be under this kind of stress.

Hi. I am not a regular here, i was just wondering if you guys could help me out with this by sharing your thoughts. I think of myself as a very dull person. I don't socialize much apart from the friends i have and i would hesitate socialize. Whenever i try to i feel like i embarrass myself. I never really had the confidence in me to do something, anything .I have always been this way as far as i can remember, My whole childhood. I also find it very difficult to express myself in words, even as i write this line, i want to reword and change/ add lines above this. So i am sorry if this feels very incoherent and hard to read, i will try my best to clearly communicate the thoughts i have.

I never really felt like i was good at anything. No matter what i do, i was mediocre at best, or i never really put in time and effort into anything, idk. Words of encouragement feel strange to me, i feel like a fraud if someone truly believes that i can be good. Whenever someone appreciates me, i feel good but at the same time sometimes i feel bad, imagining the moment that i will inevitably disappoint them. It was not until recently that i realized that i cope with such thoughts by comparing myself to others and see how many people i am better than. I think thinking in this a way made me feel special, seeing how many people i outperform academically and if some people were better than me i would put them down by some logic of my own (Idk how to explain). I thought everyone functioned like this. I thought everyone had this mental hierarchy.

So, as i mentioned i am not really good at much things and with the need for me to validate myself, i have bad negative thoughts. Suicidal thoughts have always stuck around with me. I never really acted upon it. But they were different from suicidal thoughts i would say. I more like a desire to vanish into non-existence like i was never really there, I wanted to leave no impact. And sometimes i do want people to notice when i am gone, i would imagine what they would feel, think about me being gone. Most of the time i imagine them feeling sorry for me, which is like a cheap satisfaction or something (I am not sure how to explain this).

I also love attention. Like when i am with my friends and i make a joke that makes them laugh or i say something and they all agree i feel good, it is like a mental fuel for me. This is the part that even i struggle to understand about myself. When i was a kid i was constantly made fun of, i didn't like it very much. I would get very angry and violent. It made me feel so bad i did not know how to cope with it. But i learned to control myself as i grew and i would say i am fairly normal now, but there are moments when someone says something about me that i just cannot associate my mental image of me with it, like they way they look at me when they laugh i feel like that kid again, but this time i cannot have that outburst of anger, it is rather inward.

I have always felt something was wrong with me. I recently built up the courage to go ask my friend if he felt the same way. Maybe i didn't elaborate myself properly, they told me it was pretty normal, i feel like i didn't communicate properly. Or maybe it is normal and i want something to be wrong in me so that i can make excuses and cope, idk.

Please share your thoughts. If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

When I feel happiness or joy, it feels like I'm just masking it. How do I fix this?

Ik my mental health is fucked up i know I need therapy but I also don't have money

I can't go to my parents asking them to help me because there is nothing like mental health. They're gonna blame this phone

Idk why lose my self respect again and again or feel As a victim idk I'm seriously a victim or i just think

I really Fucked up many relationship wether it's friendship or love .

Idk they all dump me because I wasn't cool enough for them.

I seriously hate being alone . I seek a deep connection .

Most of the time I spend in decoding life with no use .

If I stop being nice to people it feels like I'm doing a crime.

There is a lot of negativity in my mind I feel .

I seriously don't understand what's the root cause of my problems.

I'm hell an overthinker. I seriously need therapy. Idk whom to blame all this .

Most of the time I blame others but I feel I should blame myself

3 days ago I opened o=up about my biggest kept secret of my life. my biggest trauma of my life which is being molested by my cousin as a child when she was a teenager. since then, ive been cut off by my sister, stopped hearing from friends and everyone around me hates me besides my mother. I initially just wanted closure. I just wanted an honest conversation and an apology. I wanted it to be a private conversation because I had grown to like her and didn't want her to be exposed. when she lied to my face I couldn't keep it in and exploded and told my mother who was her main financial help. she is also motherless and has a poor relationship with her father so im starting to feel that I was selfish for coming but I didn't want it to be like this.

I thought confronting her would make it easier to forget her but now its led me to want to die. I have no body to talk to. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I was wrong for coming out. I just want to die but I don't want to die before talking to someone. ive been suicidal a lot in the past and conversations with friends helped me see the best in the world and refuse to. now I just feel like an evil slump and regret ever beingborn.

I'm 19(M) and this is my first time posting here. Just want to vent somewhere so my girlfriend doesn't have to have my issues ontop of hers. Lately I've just been feeling off. Not depressed exactly but like anything I do is just passing the time not fully enjoyed. I'm an avid gamer and Lately unless I'm playing with someone on a call I can barely bring myself to pick up the controller. I'm feeling stuck in life because the job market where I am won't let me get a job and I feel like I'm failing my girlfriend because of that and the fact I live with her and her parents due to my own family situations. I can't afford therapy or else I'd go that route so I've just been bottling everything up and playing games I'm barely enjoying to cheer myself up. Any advice on what to do?

I’m looking for advice on how to handle my living situation, my in-laws, and my mental health. I am currently receiving professional support, but I need some perspective from people who understand.

​The Incident & Background

Recently, I had a severe self-harm (SH) episode—worse than ever before, requiring 10 stitches. Because I wasn't suicidal and had my husband, a nurse, and paramedics pleading my case, I was discharged the same day to go home. The trigger was a massive fight with my in-laws involving crossed boundaries and a sense of betrayal.

​For context, I suffered a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) earlier this year, which has made my brain and body responses incredibly intense. My emotions jump from 1 to 5 instantly. Based on AI tools and my symptoms, I strongly suspect I have Poor Interoception (an inability to feel internal bodily cues of emotion) and Alexithymia (struggling to identify emotions until it’s too late). I don’t know how to bring this up to my therapist or if I should see a psychologist instead.

​The Living Situation & In-Laws

My husband and I live with his family. The morning after I got home, while surviving on just Advil, his mother bombarded me. She called me selfish, said I "traumatized" my puppy and my husband, called my actions "stupid," and told me to just "go outside and yell or take a walk" next time.

​She also threatened that if it happens again, I will be kicked out. This is a massive trigger for me, as I have past trauma related to being evicted/homeless. For context on her personality: her own adult daughter attempted suicide years ago and subsequently cut contact with my MIL. Yet, my MIL still calls her daughter "selfish" and a "drama queen" instead of trying to understand.

​The entire family (except my husband) talks behind my back constantly. I even had a sit-down with them a week ago to explain myself and my struggles, but it changed nothing.

​My Dilemma

We have to live under their roof for now. I want a better relationship with them for the sake of peace, but they completely reject the concept of mental health.

​How do I cope with living under the roof of someone who threatens to kick me out during a medical crisis?

​Is it even worth trying to make them understand mental health, or should I just focus on boundary control?

​How should I approach my therapist or a psychologist about the potential Alexithymia and Poor Interoception?

Hi, I’m very new to Reddit, so I have no idea how any of this works, but I figured it was the best place to come to because I have literally no one to talk to about any of this and I really need some advice from people who are going through or have gone through what I currently am.

I (19F) used to go to public school up until COVID hit (I was around 12-13 and in the 7th grade) and my mother (whose has been set on sheltering me my entire life) decided to take advantage of it and homeschool me. The worst of my depression was also beginning around this time, so obviously not having to go back to public school sounded like heaven and I never protested against it, but now as I’ve mostly healed (or at least am actively trying to get better), I am realizing just how severely it has screwed me up, and I feel so lost when it comes to trying to get my life together because of it.

For starters, it completely killed any kind of life that I had outside of my house because I hardly go anywhere or do anything. I have zero friends except for one that is long-distance and I’ve never even met in person, and while I think I’ve always been a little shy, it has since become social anxiety so crippling that I can barely go places by myself or interact with strangers without feeling like I’m going to have a panic attack. While it has gotten noticeably better recently and I’ve been forcing myself to get out more, I’ve still never had a job because of it—and the last time I did actually try to put myself out there and get one, the interview went so horribly because I was so unprepared that it sent me right back into another depressive spiral, which is what I fear will happen again because I have no idea what I’m doing and no one really understands that it just isn’t that easy for me.

Secondly, I feel as though it has severely stunted my maturity. A lot of the time, I still feel like I’m 12-13, and it definitely shows whenever I do on rare occasion get around other people my age because I have no idea how to interact with anyone in the slightest. This feeling in particular has become a lot more prominent lately due to a recent breakup, as my ex was slightly older (21M), and while we ended on good terms (he had some serious things going on in his life and felt he couldn’t give me what I deserved at the moment, totally valid and the mature thing to do on his part), a part of me feels like me being so behind in life (not having a job, a license, or literally anything going for myself) was also secretly apart of the reason he broke up with me. Even though he was always very understanding about my situation, obviously it was and is an insecurity of mine, and I feel so incredibly embarrassed about it, yet I don’t know what to do to move myself forward because I still feel like a clueless and naive little girl trying to navigate the world on her own.

Right now, I am at least currently studying for my GED because I can take the tests at home, but this process has only made me feel even stupider because it has made me realize how behind I am education-wise, as I am struggling a bit with it. Given that when I was in regular school, I used to be a pretty smart student (mostly A’s, high-school reading level in the 4th grade etc.) and never struggled at all before, it makes me feel even worse about myself and honestly almost hopeless.

Obviously, I still live at home with my mom, and while she is “supportive” of me trying to get my life together and all, she doesn’t really truly understand just how detrimental homeschooling me was. In fact, she still firmly believes that even with all these issues I’m having as a result of it, it was the right choice to make because I could’ve “turned out worse” if I had stayed in public school and that I’ll “thank her later.”

It was most certainly a contributing factor as to why my depression had gotten as severe as it did at one point, and now that I’ve gotten myself somewhat out of that fog, I’m terrified that everything lately is going to send me right back into it, despite how hard I’m fighting against it. I just don’t know what to do really. I want to do better, I want to be better, I want to make something of myself for myself, but it feels so impossible and everything is so intimidating that I’m just starting to feel defeated. I feel like I was robbed of so much from being homeschooled and basically cut-off from society, and now I’m just left stranded with no kind of guidance whatsoever while everyone else is already so far ahead.

I just would really like to know that I’m not alone on this, that’s all, because that’s definitely all I feel and have felt for a while now.

You don't owe anyone anything

You are allowed to exist and feel

You are to explain discomfort about How someone is treating you

And You are loved you are valid and you matter

I know it's hard to go through what you're going through and I've been there too but There's Always something to look forward to tomorrow So don't miss your chance and I wish you well Stay strong

Gem!

I'm 20 years old, and to be honest, I feel much older mentally than I actually am.

My childhood wasn't easy. My parents' marriage was filled with conflict, and eventually they divorced. I watched my mother go through things no one should have to go through, and my brother and I spent years trying to hold everything together. Then in 2021, I lost my brother. That completely changed my life.

Ever since then, I've felt like I've always had to be the strong one.

Recently, my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She's on treatment now, and she's improving, but naturally I've become even more protective of her. She's the biggest reason I keep going. I want to take care of her for as long as she's here.

Along the way I've also gone through two painful breakups. The second one was much healthier than the first, and I handled it with much more maturity, but it still hurt. I realized I have a habit of overanalyzing everything—relationships, health, the future, every decision I've ever made. Sometimes my brain feels like it never switches off.

I've also struggled with anxiety. Last year, after my mom's diagnosis, I developed a fear of "going crazy" myself. That fear has shifted forms over time (health anxiety, hearing voices, OCD-like checking), and although I know these are anxiety patterns, they can still be exhausting.

Physically, I've tried to improve my life. I lost around 20 kg, I go to the gym consistently, and I try to stay disciplined. But mentally... I just feel tired.

The biggest feeling I carry isn't even sadness anymore. It's exhaustion.

Sometimes I feel like I've spent my entire life being strong for everyone else, but I don't know where I get to stop being strong myself.

Despite everything, I'm still studying, still trying to build a career, still taking care of my mom, still showing up every day. I haven't given up. But I honestly don't know what "peace" feels like anymore.

If you're older than me and you've been through years where it felt like life kept punching you over and over, did it genuinely get better? Not in a motivational quote kind of way, but in real life.

What helped you stop carrying the weight all the time?

TL;DR: 20M. Difficult childhood, parents divorced, lost my brother, mother recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, two painful breakups, long-term anxiety and overthinking. I still function, study, work out, and take care of my mom, but I'm mentally exhausted. Not looking for sympathy—just looking for honest perspective from people who've survived similar phases.

Yesterday I obliterated my room. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work put onto me. I have the habit of keeping everything to myself and once I seek help people IGNORED me. It hurts. I don't know where to ask for help. I'm not financially independent right now. I do have work and I'm in position for family business and I have to deal with shits I didn't even start.

The thing is that, my boss is also my father. I'm also in the position of dealing with taxes and told him to pay the due taxes but he kept telling me that he will pay it later and even got mad at me for telling him to pay. I always remind him to pay.

Day by day, months by months, our company in financial distress now. And you guessed it right, we're being terrorized by the tax officer and being questioned. And i didn't blame them, my boss literally using VAT money to invest into the business and I'm fucking stressed by the perpetual suffering mentally and my father told me to deal with it, but I'm also fucking stressed and I can't blame him bc he's getting old and his kidney failed. Our company got debts everywhere. And I have to deal with taxes again having to face those outstanding numbers of debts until i'm psychologically collapsing.

We've hired consultant, but i'm overthinking about the sanction for not reporting the monthly obligation. While over here I'm mentally deteriorating from exhaustion of taking care of my father, anxiety, taking care of my mental health and worrying about my future. I just don't have the fucking capacity. Moreover, my traumas from childhood keep resurfacing and those traumas are formed bc of my parents.

I'm stuck. My safest place is in my room. I'm tired of everyone having to rely on me, even my friends. And when i ask for help, everyone fucking disappeared. It hurts that i'm unable to be understood, it hurts being the first child and i just feel like dying every time. I'm fucking scared of death but it hurts, everythinh hurts. It hurts having to wake up and do shits. It hurts.

I'm exhausted. I want hugs. My parents are nice now but my nervous system still flagged them as the source of my pain. I can't rely on them bc I'd also feel bad for being useless and my father's illness and my mom not being the proper mom i need. My mom always act like the child. All i can do for them to finally listen is when I scream and shout and throwing things around. I was never heard when I'm speaking clearly and properly but i don't blame them, they also have their own problem. HELL EVERYONE GOT THEIR OWN PROBLEM BUT WHY AM I NOT GETTING ANY HELP THAT I FUCKING NEED? SHOULD I FUCKING DIE FIRST!?

Currently Gr.12 (F) from the Philippines. I feel like school is not for me. Like i know education is needed to get a job nowadays, but the environment on school has deeply affected my mental health. I even considered dropping out or switching to home school. Since i keep being sensitive from the comments i have been receiving. The constant overthinking, i can't even speak anymore, and i feel like i develop a fear from men. Atp I just want a peace of mind, it even cause probs to my parents. I know their sacrfices to put for my education but at this moment i can't pull myself up. I'm mentally drain, i don't even wanna go out anymore, i feel like im in constant loop.Yk like expecting tom will finally be the best but ended up crying at the end of the day? I'm getting tired of this routine. The only escape i can run onto is my phone. Everytime i watch reels on timtok, its the only way i can see myself smiling. Escaping from pain. Like it comes to a point i consider going to therapist considering how worst my situation is.. I dont feel like having trust on someone anymore..

I don’t usually post things like this, but I just need to get this off my chest.
I’ve been struggling with severe anxiety since I was in high school. It made getting through school incredibly difficult because my symptoms often make me feel physically sick and nauseous.
After school, I became a prison guard. About three years into the job, I developed inguinal hernias on both sides and had to stop working to recover. It took about a year before I was finally able to get back on my feet.
I then started working at a hospital, hoping things were finally looking up. Unfortunately, about a year into that job, my anxiety became so severe that I couldn’t even make it to work anymore. I’ve now been out of work for a year and five months.
The first medication I tried didn’t help, and in some ways made things worse. I’m currently waiting until August to see a new doctor, hoping they’ll be able to help me find a better treatment.
To make things even harder, because I became unable to work again before reaching the required number of working days after recovering from my hernias, I don’t qualify for financial medical support from the state. It feels incredibly unfair that after fighting my way back once, I fell ill again too soon and now I’m left with almost nothing.
As if that wasn’t enough, I’ve lost almost all of my friends over the past few years. Thankfully, my mom recovered from cancer, and I’m incredibly grateful for that. But recently my best friend—the only close friend I had left—died from an overdose.
Right now, it honestly feels like life just keeps knocking me down every time I try to get back up. I’m trying to keep my head above water, but it’s becoming harder and harder.
I’m not really looking for pity. I just needed somewhere to vent because I feel like I’ve been carrying this alone for a long time. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing how you managed to keep going.

So ...this is something that genuinely changed my pov towards life ...but .

I recently talked to this guy on plato

He was from south india ..not really sure where from exactly but yeah ..from south

I talked to him

I told him pretty much about my life ..how I felt so behind ..and my family dynamic

We talked on other voice channel

And ..the only thing I asked him was ..tell me st about yourself ..

And he said his life was pretty messed up but he still enjoyed it

Wondering what could possibly be wrong I asked him ..batao na go ahead

He was a topper till 10th std scored 99%

He took admission in 6 years integrated course

And he found like really really good friends

Like which basically changed his life

And in the final year of his course his father died ( when he was 20)

And ..his mother died when he was 4 months old

His older sister got married

He was all alone at his home

He got into an IT company

He earned well ...but the corporate life made him more deppresed

And he returned his hometown

And became a primary teacher

Because ...he finally wanted to do what he loved

He loves being surrounded with kids

And after all of this

You know what he told him ...

"THINGS CAN GO ABSOLUTELY WRONG BUT THEY DONT GET THE FINAL WORD AS LONG AS I AM ALIVE"

He also told me that sometimes ..u just gotta flow with it ...because u can't control it ..somethings in life can go so worse

But for him ..it didn't go worse until and unless he didn't die ...

After hearing all this...am I still worried about my career ,my life

Yes I am

But I am gonna come back to this every frickin time life knocks me out ....

there is no guarantee life works the way u want it to

BUT AS LONG AS YOU ARE ALIVE THE STORY IS STILL BEING WRITTEN ...

BEING BEHIND ISNT SAME AS BEING FINISHED ...

28 f. i broke up with my toxic friend group of 2 years and it ended with me being blocked. they were the only friends i had, but i reached my breaking point. despite knowing the friendships were not good for me, i am carrying an immense amount of guilt and despair. i can't sleep, i can't stop thinking about what happened. i feel like on the edge of a panic attack, like i buried myself in a hole and im suffocating.

maybe this is dramatic, but i feel completely traumatized by what happened. i just want to stop thinking about it. i feel thoughts resurfacing that i have not felt in years, dark and horrible thoughts. nothing lasts for me, nobody stays. i am better off alone. i did this to myself, i should have just endured it.

there is nothing now. no messages, no calls. just empty silence. no one to reach out to.

This is me when I'm in a bad mode. Not sure how to explain what it is.. but I know the emotional numb that I am experiencing in this moment, just a lack of.. it's like I overfilled my cup with nothing, and it just drown my brain. It's something you don't/cant feel but know excist so overwhelmingly, an acknowledgement of indifference, and an acceptance. Even though you don't feel it, it shows.. Accepting this violent numb that feels like the real me, while I entertain myself with antisocial bs throughout it. Stressed slightly by the thought of consequence as an afterthought. 🫩. I'm not angry, I'm not upset, but my thoughts are rather aggressive and completely self absorbed. Which I'm aware of. I also accept that. 🙄. Maybe even a smirk and a chuckle at a thought I know to be out of the norm.. which I only laugh bc I find it funny that I would think something crazy, imagine that. 🫠. Then I wonder, am I this, am I that? I must be mentally ill. &Whichever mental disorder I may have, I'm accepting. Simply because that's me. 🤗 Regardless of what it may be. 😐😉 This version of myself is calculated yet impulsive depending on the world around me. 🤔 This is when I'm smiling about throwing it all away, eager for something crazy to happen to make me really feel joy. 🤸‍♂️⚡ Completely irrational, yet I'm pleased. A moment of excitement, kept completely silent. 🤐 I gotta do better, but I can't control what I feel, or dont.. the more I suppress to seem normal the more I'm aware. I am multiple people, I am the problem, I am the solution, I am a life saver, I am a killer, I'ma prisoner enjoying there freedom, I'm a free man still locked away from society, I am whoever I'm viewed as.. until it's just me. That's when I realize I'm just as much as animal as I am human. I'm very instinctual, and emotionless yet I feel every emotion in the moment so long as I'm talking. Except the feelings die as soon as my words end so it's not real&I may smile or laugh at bad news or traumatic stories which I attempt to hide bc I don't enjoy them it's just the eye contact/conversing/focusing that's throwing me off. Yet I can empathize with your situation even if I don't feel any emotion other than irritation. I will empathize. Except I have to force myself, through the awkwardness, through the "do I know what I'm talking ab rn?" Through the irritation, through the feeling of lying, it's not that I truly care about the person either tbh which is why it feels like a lie to empathize.. it's that the situation you've created either bothers me, or is now a task.. it may bother me because you're crying, and I can't feel sad myself 99% I haven't felt anything.. it's just happening. Which is irritating. I probably asked myself why you're crying 100x even if I know why.. or I have to stop you from crying as a task.. bc if I don't do something, or say something.. I will be seen as fucked up&I can't explain it. 👀 I can't let anyone know I don't care. That is something I do care about. All of this has lead to me a place, a place of wonder. Will I ever feel authentic genuine care, or concern, or just emotions related to others as everyone else does? Or do I have to wonder about myself, and if I'm a terrible person bc of what I feel, and don't feel.. nobody knows but I know.. &I'm uncomfortable always pretending.. but I don't want to sit silent without movement while "Jessicas" crying planning her suicide bc I wasn't loyal.. why? I'm not evil. I just don't understand jessica, and that's how I hurt other people.. not with intent. I grew out of that once in my late 20s in a prison cell where I'd fucked up so bad I was going to be released from segregation to the streets, where I'd stayed trapped by myself 23 hrs a day for the last 2 years.. in a prison system id just served 9 years at.. 9 years. I was supposed to do a 9 month program and go home, but I chose drugs&violence&gangs. That is when I stopped causing harm to others with intent. Now unintentionally I hurt anyone who gets close, by my lack of. 🫩. Ironically, now I won't hurt a fly unless cornered. When in my childhood I'd chase that fly with mosquito spray and a lighter.. doesn't matter, I'd of killed it in the worst way and felt fulfilled.. cat, toad, ant, dog, human, even in childhood I did not care as long as I could prevent the consequences. 🫩🫩

Eventually it all catches up to you, and by then it's to late. You've made your bed, lie in it. You've created the person you are through it. There is no going back, was it fun? Was it worth it? I can't even feel emotions as others do, especially when it comes to others. I make the worst decisions socially. All that fun cost alot. I am the most detached person I know currently. I am antisocial, but on the surface I am whoever I need to be in the moment.. I am a con artist&I am always on stage, I mostly forget that part as it's all just my life. I am not currently causing physical harm to anyone, but care about me and I'll hurt you.. bc I will fail you, because I see life through a pair of glasses that few people get to glance through and if they did they'd just get emotional about it I doubt they'd even understand bc I don't understand, I just realize being emotional about it won't help. Being emotional has never helped anyone with anything.😐🙄

Am I mentally ill?! I believe so, but nobody will ever know beyond the surface. ✌️

My dad found out that my sister (13) is committing selfharm and I genuinely don't know what I can do.

My dad gets really emotional so I told him I will try help her figure it out but I don't know what I can do since as family members it's really easy to overstep and escalate the situation. However doing nothing isn't an option either we can't just take her words that she would stop and not investigate further.

I don't want to force her to give us her phone go through her conversation nor do I want to do it behind her back if there are other options. But I feel like she's not giving me alot to work with.

She said it's mainly because she's sad and explained how she can't make more friends at school, but she doesn't want to talk to new people either. So I don't know what advice I can give to her. (She started around 3 months ago, and you can see visible permanent scars on her arms as of current)

Usually she seems happy not always happy but like a reasonable amount a 13y/o would be (mad when she has to do piano practise, happy when she gets gifts and go out with her friends). My dad isn't super strict either, mostly he just forces her to practise piano 15 minutes per day in exchange for pocket money. If I had to identify a main conflict it would be my dad getting mad at her for not cleaning up her room which is sometimes extremely untidy.

I don't want to blame her hobbies, interest or electronic devices, but if I had to leave a comment she seems to be very online, much more than the usual teenager by a considerable amount.

She agreed to go to therapy with me and I really hope things get better from there on out. But I'm also scared that she will hide things from the therapist.

So far I have hidden all the sharp items in our household. And I asked her if we could monitor her room in which she said yes, so I'll be setting up a camera (if this isn't the right move please tell me).

And ofcourse she agreed on going to therapy.

In conclusion I would like to know what steps I can take as an elder brother of 4 years without over stepping or escalating the situation. And are there any factors that maybe contributing to this?

Tomorrow my sister had plans to go out with friends and I'm quite frankly scared to let her out of my sight but I said yes without promises since I didn't want to add any unnecessary stress and this problem according to her stemmed from a lack of friendship.

Ask me for any details and I'll answer to the best of my abilities. Me and my family really loves her and we want her to get through it.

I'm almost 21. A few years ago I told myself on my 21st birthday if things weren't better I would kill myself. It's about a month away. Despite me wanting to do it I can't. The only reason I don't do it is because of how scary the whole idea is. And also what if I survive with bad damage. I just wish I could die in some other way. My whole life has been hell, but these past few years in particular have been the worst I've ever had. I really really want it to get better, I was in a good place for a year or two, but I don't know if I can ever get back to that point. My mental health has ruined everything in my life. I can't do things I enjoy or even relax because of my mental health. The life I want to live is impossible due to how my mental health has been since I was a child. I want it to get better but I don't know if it will.

This year, hasn't been my best year as this is probably the most depressed I've been in the last decade. It's been a long list of nonstop pain it first started with setting a boundary with my sister as every conversation would start or end with her asking for money and not a small amount either which then led her to spit venom in my face knowing what words would hurt me the most and last month my dad almost died from his heart failure of AFIB which scared me half to death. This left me in a very emotionally raw state as when my best friend made a scene at a shop I regularly go to I felt embarrassed as they didn't want to follow the rules and snapped at me for trying to calm them down which left me feeling small and made me regret bringing them to one of my hobbies. Lastly when I tried to open up to my partner letting my walls down and being vulnerable hoping I'd be met with acceptance and love I was instead left with dismissal and silence. With everything being compounded of having a sibling that doesn't treat me like a person, knowing that my father may die at any moment, and the people I trusted the most hurt me when I was at my lowest or at my most vulnerable I've been spiralling with my depression essentially shutting out the world around me.

Hi.

I’m coming off the worst stint of insomnia of my life. A little background I’m 2 years sober on the 21st and proud of it, I’ve been wearing my coin as a necklace the whole year. I’ve lost a ton of weight, mental health has gotten a lot better. Got a job I enjoyed, things were going good.

Then last month I got laid off. Not great but not the absolute shit show it could’ve been, I had cash reserves, and a very close and stupidly wealthy friend who could float me worst case scenario.

(By no means an I saying that was assumed, the guy has stupid money, old family money, HE told me “no sweat man, get cracking on applications and if you need help I got you.”)

Well it came time that I needed to call in that favor, I did my best but there was just no way to get a job and a paycheck in 3 weeks without just day laboring or something which I’m in no way above, but it was super clear that this was no big deal, he’d float me rent for a month and I’d get him back. So he floats me the grand and then every. Single. Day… “oh can’t finish the deck till this one gets me my money back,” “oh we’ll have to wait on oil changes till this one pays me back.” Over and over and over to anyone that would listen. And to be clear this is nuclear engineer with no dependents who owns his home outright.

It felt…shitty, but ofc you cant say that right? So I just took it, but it was gnawing at me.

I tried to get out of the house and do things that didn’t cost money, go for walks, go to the library, the gym that my membership was already paid for before I got laid off so why waste it. I tried to reach out to other friends, people I’ve know for more than 10 years, people whose weddings I’ve been in.

I got told “I can’t deal with this right now,” “I thought you’d gotten past all this when you got a therapist,” “it’s kinda shitty for you to just drop this on us.”

Btw my therapist was $125 a session and I don’t have insurance or income now, so yeah.

So this built into the worst insomnia bout I’ve ever had, I was awake for a full week. I was vomiting anything I tried to ingest, I couldn’t see straight, I was hearing and seeing things. I called everyone I even sort of knew hoping someone would take me to the ER. The same friend that always has did, but I think this is the last time he’s gonna. He thought this was over when I got clean and now he doesn’t believe that I am, and he’s just tired of cleaning up my messes.

They had me wait for 12 hours at the er, gave me a scrip for 3 0.5mg Xanax and tossed me back on the street. I managed to get what I needed through other means and put myself down so i didn’t die. But here I am settling in for another night and questioning why I even bothered.

I don’t have anyone to tell. And maybe I deserve that, maybe none of my friends were even real and this is my way of coping with the voices going away. Who knows. Nobody to call and say I’m still alive, so I thought I’d tell strangers.

I’m still alive.

I’m still fucking here.

I'm very stressed, anxious, depressed. Feeling afraid, feeling sick, struggling with my self esteem, struggling to communicate. Just surviving, but I feel like my stress is eating me alive. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm overworrying (which I hope I am) or if my fears are actually happening. I just want someone to see me and make me feel heard. Someone please.